09x11 - SpongeBob, You're Fired

[bunniefuu]

- Are you ready, kids?

Aye, aye, Captain!

- I can't hear you.

Aye, aye, Captain!

Spongebob Squarepants!

Spongebob Squarepants!

Spongebob Squarepants!

Spongebob Squarepants! - Ready?

Spongebob Squarepants!

Spongebob Squarepants!

Spongebob Squarepants!

- Spongebob

Squarepants!

Ooh-wah!

- Hmm? Who's that?

Hmm, something's missing.

Aha! June th.

Fine month for pickles.

- Order's up!

One perfect Patty on a pristine plate

In a squeaky-clean krusty krab.

Man, oh, man, do I love my job!

Hey, Mister Krabs. What's the good word?

- Well, actually, Spongebob,

Uh, there's two words.

And they're not very good.

You're fired.

what? - Fired?

- Well, you see,

I've been doin' some calculatin'

And, you know, crunching the old numbers.

And it turns out that I'll save a whole nickel

If I cut your salary.

Completely.

- but how about if I work for free?

- Yeah, I looked into that.

Apparently, it's "ill*gal."

And I'll lose my "vendor's license."

Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

- Uh, 'scuse me.

Is that mine? - I don't know.

Maybe.

Take it.

- You know I love you like a son.

But you can't argue with a nickel.

- But--but--but--but--

But--but--but--but--

But--but-- but--but--

But--but--but--but-- but--but--

- Hey, what about me?

Can I get fired too?

- I'm afraid not, Squidward.

You've got seniority. - Oh, yeah.

- Nope, it's gotta be you, son.

You're canned.

Here's your pink slip.

I'm giving you the ax.

You're fired.

no! Not that!

Anything but that!

- So, uh, if you could just hand over your spatula.

Um...

- I'll just take that.

- Here, I'll get that for you.

- I'll also need the hat.

Allow me.

- Go ahead, take a moment to collect yourself.

Long as you need.

- I'm not a very strong swimmer.

- Okay, that's enough.

It's closing time.

You know, it just won't be

The same around here without you.

You'll have to visit sometime... As a customer.

- Buh-bye now.

Sayonara.

Good riddance.

Man, is it gonna be sweet without that pest around!

- This day couldn't get any better.

Well, Eugene,

Let me commend you on a terrific business decision.

But now that Spongebob's gone, who will be running the grill?

- Squidward, I'll have you know,

I was five times "golden spatula" in the navy,

So I'll be runnin' the grill.

Ooh!

- I can smell the grease fires already.

- Hey, Gary, I'm home.

Forever.

- Oh, Mister Krabs feels he doesn't need me anymore.

- What's that, Gary?

You need me?

Oh, the unconditional love of a pet.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Here I am wallowing in my misery,

And it's past your dinnertime.

I used to feed everyone in bikini bottom.

Now I just feed you.

Oh, thanks, Gary.

- That's how I used to hold my spatula.

- Patrick, what's wrong?

- Oh, hey, Spongebob.

I heard you crying, and it made me sad.

- Gee, I'm sorry.

Why don't you come inside?

- Okay!

Hi, Spongebob!

Why are you making me so sad?

- Patrick, the most horrible thing happened today.

I got--

F-f-f-f-f-f-f...

- Free french fries?

- F-f-f-f-f-f-f...

- Fried frittatas?

- F-f-f-f-f-f-f...

- Frothy frappe?

- F-f-f-f...

- I can't think of any more food

That starts with the letter "c," Spongebob.

- It's not food, Patrick.

I got fired.

- Hey, that's great!

Being unemployed is the best gig I know!

I tell you what.

Meet me tomorrow morning,

And I'll introduce you

To the wonders of the unemployed lifestyle.

- Sorry, Patrick, I can't.

I have to wor--

Yeah, okay.

- Great.

See you then.

Hey, buddy!

Are you ready?

Ready for your first day of glorious unemployment?

Or as I like to call it,

"fun-employment"!

- Yeah, sure.

Whatever.

- That's the spirit!

Now, the first stop on our tour of fun-employment

Is a healthy breakfast with our good friend mr. Squidward.

Hey, Squidward!

How are you this fine morning?

How many times do I have to tell you...

Keep...

Off...

My...

Petunias!

I'll just save this for later.

Now you try.

hey, Squidward.

Look at me. I'm fun-employed!

- Hey, you're good at this.

Next on our itinerary,

A brief mid-morning siesta.

Are you feeling any better yet?

uh-uh.

- Come on, sadpants.

You know what always picks me up?

- Nope.

- Free lunch with friends!

- Yippee.

- Okay, let's begin the experiment.

Okay, next.

- Oh, boy, lunch!

- More! More!

- Very interesting. Okay, next.

Spongebob! I almost didn't recognize you.

You look awful!

- What are you doin' with these here freeloaders?

- I got fired.

Now I'm fun-employed. Whoo-hoo.

- Whoa, there. You do not want to eat that.

- Why? What is it? - Heck if I know.

this here's a psychological test to see

How much weird gunk folks will eat...

If it's free.

Who's for seconds?

Me!

- Here ya go, little buddy.

- Spongebob, you're a mess.

You're falling apart.

Come on now, Spongebob.

You need to pull yourself together.

Get some structure in your life.

What you need is a new job.

- You're right, Sandy.

I'm afraid I can't do this anymore, Patrick.

Unemployment may be fun for you,

But I need to get a job.

- Who do you think you're fooling, you loser?

You couldn't keep a job if you tried!

- Hey! You can't talk to my friend like that!

Unh!

- Don't listen to him, Spongebob.

You need to follow your heart.

- Thanks, Patrick.

It's time to rejoin the workforce.

Gainful employment, here I come!

Yah!

I'm ready! Whoo-hoo!

Greetings, purveyor of elongated sausage products!

I would love to work at your establishment.

- Well, you do look enthusiastic.

All right, kid.

Let's see what you got.

So this is the kitchen.

This grill is not in very good shape.

- Oh, we don't use the grill.

We cook everything on the roller.

- Good luck, kid.

- Hmm. There's something not quite right about this food,

But I'm not sure what it is.

Aha!

Hey! Where are those weenies?

- Your weenies, sir.

- What in the name

Of davy jones' gym shorts are these?

- They're weenie patties.

- What are you, some kind of nut?

You've ruined my weenies! You're fired!

- Aah! But, Mister Krabs, why?

- Mr. Who?

- I mean, mr. Weiner!

- Just go.

- Well, that was a setback.

Hello, pizza piehole!

Excuse me, mr. Pizza man.

You need a fry-cook?

- Oh, boy, do I! Can you make pizza?

- Eh...Probably.

- Oh, that's amazing. Congratulations, you're hired.

- Cool.

Well, it's no krabby Patty, but...

Perhaps I'll find contentment.

- Hey, buddy, how's the pizza coming?

- Almost done!

But I did change the recipe a bit.

no problem.

A few extra toppings never hurt anyone.

What have you done?

You've turned an innocent pizza into...

A pizza Patty!

It's an abomination!

- Yeah, of deliciousness!

- You're fired!

- But who'll make the krabby patties?

- Krabby patties?

What do you think this is, the krusty krab?

- Like I need his dumb job, anyway.

I hope his pepperoni falls off.

Hey, taco man, may I have a job, por favor?

All right.

Let's see what you can do with a burrito.

- How about that?

- Interesting.

It's some sort of burrito Patty.

Who'd like to taste it?

- I'll give it a go!

- You're fired!

But I've given you the best years of my life, Mister Krabs!

- Get to steppin'!

- You're fired! - Aah!

- And take your noodle Patty with you!

- Oh, I'll take it, all right.

I'll take it to go!

Home.

For years I worked at the krusty krab.

Now I've been fired five times in one day.

Who are you gonna cook for now, Spongebob?

- Sorry, Gary, you must be starving.

Don't worry, gare-bear.

I'll open up a can of snailpo for you.

Oh, no.

We're all out of snailpo.

We'll just have to make our own.

Perfect!

One homemade can of snailpo!

- What's that, Gary?

It's the best food you've ever had?

Yeah, this is dee-licious!

Does it have any side effects?

- Only satisfaction.

If only my bosses liked my cooking

As much as you two do.

I mean, three.

Hello.

Hmm. That's odd.

I could've sworn I heard a knock at the door.

Mr. Weenie?

- Congratulations, Spongebob, you've been promoted.

- But you just fired me.

- That's mustard under the bun, my boy.

The important thing is,

My customers love your little sliders.

Now get to work!

- I'm pretty sure this is ill*gal.

What am I gonna do now?

- Psst!

Hey, kid. You need help outta here?

- Pizza pete! Yes, please.

That weiner has me chained to the grill,

And he really seems to be relishing it.

- I have something to free you.

- Pizza sauce?

I'm free!

- Great! Now you can get to my grill.

- What?

Parmesan-crusted breadstick!

Whoa!

- Hey! Where are you going with my fry-cook?

I'll take one fry-cook to go!

- Oh, thank you, senor taco!

Oh, no! Not you too!

Get him!

Whoa!

- Let go! - He's mine!

- I was here first! - No, I was!

- Stop! Unhand that sponge!

- It's a k*ller Patty!

- Here, take him! Just don't hurt me.

Aah!

- Krabby Patty! You saved me!

Well, here we go again.

This place is terrible!

- The krusty krab has really gone downhill.

- How can you serve this slop?

I'm never eating here again!

- Wait! Come back! That was me last customer.

Spongebob? Squidward, you found him!

Squidward?

- I'm afraid so.

Spongebob...

- Yes, Squidward? - You know I hate you, right?

- Yes. Yes, I do.

- Well, I hate the smell

Of burning krabby patties even more.

Please come back and be the fry-cook again.

- Well, if it's okay with you, Mister Krabs.

- Oh, laddy, I should've never let you go.

The krusty krab has fallen apart without you.

You're rehired, boy.

- All right!

Now my life has purpose again!

Let's get this place cleaned up.

Not exactly my color.

- The krusty krab is back in business!

- Well, Spongebob, it looks like things are back to normal.

And to make up for that extra nickel I was losing,

I installed a pay toilet.

- Oh, dear, where is that nickel?

Why are you laughing?