06x18 - Pet or Pests/Komputer Overload

[bunniefuu]

-Are you ready, kids?

-[kids] Aye, aye, Captain.

-I can't hear you.

-[kids] Aye, aye, Captain!

Oh...

♪ Who lives in a pineapple

Under the sea? ♪

♪ SpongeBob SquarePants ♪

♪ Absorbent and yellow

And porous is he ♪

♪ SpongeBob SquarePants ♪

♪ If nautical nonsense

Be something you wish ♪

♪ SpongeBob SquarePants ♪

♪ Then drop on the deck

And flop like a fish ♪

-♪ SpongeBob SquarePants ♪

-Ready?

[all] ♪ SpongeBob SquarePants ♪

♪ SpongeBob SquarePants

SpongeBob SquarePants ♪

♪ SpongeBob SquarePants ♪

[Captain laughs heartily]

[pipes a jaunty tune]

[grunts] OK, SpongeBob,

it's your turn. I'm ready!

OK, Patrick, here I come!

Whoa!

Nice landing!

[grunts]

Darn, I missed.

SpongeBob, look out for my body!

[both grunt]

[both scream]

Patrick, maybe we should play

something that involves

less thinking.

OK.

Hey, maybe we can play a game

with this ball

that was buried under here.

Ball! Let me see it.

-What a weird ball.

-Well, who knows how long it...

Oh, Mother of Neptune!

Get it away from me!

There's nothing to be

afraid of, SpongeBob.

It's just a little worm. See?

You're right, Patrick.

I'm sorry we destroyed

your nest, little worm.

I promise it won't happen again.

Look, Patrick.

Looks like he's taken a fancy

to you.

Yeah. Hey!

Why don't we invite Mr. Wormsley

to stay at my place?

At least until his nest

grows back.

That sounds delightful.

Gary! Make yourself decent!

[chuckles] You have a visitor.

[distantly] Gary, wake up!

That's right,

just bring him in here.

Careful, careful now.

-That's right.

-[meows]

Oh, hi, Gary. Are you ready

to meet your new friend?

-[meows]

-That's right!

Say hello to Mr. Wormsley.

-[hisses]

-[barks]

[hissing and barking]

Something tells me

they don't like each other.

[yowling]

Come on now, guys, come on.

Let's touch soft parts

in a friendly manner.

-[growling]

-See, you're just saying hi.

That's it, there you go.

That's it.

Oh, I knew you could get along.

There, there you go.

See? Friends.

-[crunching]

-Oh! Oh, my goodness!

Patrick, oh! Oh, Patrick,

please, do something!

[SpongeBob screams]

Uh, SpongeBob,

I gotta get going.

I'll check in on you later,

and see how your new pet

is doing. OK?

OK, Patrick. See you la--

Oh, get it off me!

Somebody, please! Please!

All right, Gary. Just so

there isn't any more upset,

I'm gonna ask that you sleep

on the guest newspaper tonight,

and Mr. Wormsley is gonna be

sleeping in here with me.

-[growls]

-Now, now, Gary.

There's no need for protest.

[hollow creaking]

See? I fixed it up all nice

for you. There you are.

Night, Gar.

[meows]

[distant howling]

[howling continues]

[groans]

Sounds like Patrick is having

one of his night fits again.

I'll just close the window.

[howling]

Mr. Wormsley?!

[howls]

Whoa! I'll be right back,

Mr. Wormsley.

I'm gonna go get help.

Whatever's wrong, don't move!

Just, uh, read the sports

section or something.

He's in here.

No, I can't look!

-SpongeBob?

-Yes?

Something tells me Mr. Wormsley

is actually a Mrs. Wormsley.

[squeaking]

[gasps]

Oh, Patrick, it's a miracle!

That it is.

Wait till Gary sees.

Yeah, wait till...

See, Gar, they're right in here.

Quiet, now.

They were born less than...

[meows]

[both growl]

Looks like they're still

not quite used to each other.

-Well, these things take time.

-[growling]

[fighting noises]

[both] Duck and cover!

[hissing and barking]

This town is getting

too rough for me.

[meows]

He's chased her away.

Now who will care for

her abandoned litter

of adorable newborn infants?

Well, maybe you can

take care of them.

Oh, no way, Patrick.

I've never seen Gary that upset.

-Ga-who?

-Nope.

You and I are just

gonna have to find loving homes

for each and every one

of these guys.

-Right, Patrick?

-[door slams]

Patrick?

Don't worry, little guys.

Squidward's a really good

friend of mine,

and he really likes pets.

SpongeBob,

what are you doing here?

Don't you know that

it's seven in the morning?

I came here with

a special surprise.

Don't you know that

it's seven in the morning?

How would you like to have

your very own pet baby worm?

Don't you know that it's...

A what?

Baby worm. See?

Aren't they just adorable

at that age?

So, how many did you want?

[doorbell buzzes]

Yes? Oh, it's you, SpongeBob.

-What are you, uh, doing here?

-[buzzing continues]

[laughs nervously]

Not that the teacher's

most enthusiastic student

-isn't welcome in her house...

-[doorbell continues buzzing]

[deep sigh]

-[buzzing stops]

-Good morning, Mrs. Puff.

It almost was.

-Would you like a baby worm?

-A what?

[screams]

Uh, I'll just come back later,

Mrs. Puff. Have a nice day!

I hate Mondays.

Don't worry, little worms.

I know a place we can go

to find homes for

every single one of you.

Good morning, ma'am.

How are you today?

Could I interest you in some...

Ma'am?

[whistles]

That whistling...

It's... Larry Lobster.

Hi, Larry. What you up to?

-Do I know you?

-Probably not.

I was just picking up

some dietary supplements

here at the supermarket.

I've been working on my chest...

and buns.

-So I see.

-Well, catch you later.

Oh, Larry, wait...

No time now. Somewhere,

there's sand that needs kicking.

OK, I was just gonna see

if you wanted

one of these poor,

lonely, baby worms.

-Baby worms?

-Well, yeah.

-I'll take 'em off your hands.

-Really?

Sure, why not? That's just what

the nutritionist ordered.

-Raw protein!

-Larry, no!

Dude, nice hustle.

[squeaking and whimpering]

[screams]

[babbles]

[grunts]

Oh, little wormies,

I'm so glad you're safe.

Now, let's go see about finding

you those homes I promised.

[phone rings]

-Yello?

-SpongeBob, it's Mr. Krabs.

I've been looking all over for

you. You're three hours late!

[screaming]

Hello?

I'm sorry, Mr. Krabs,

I came as quick as I could.

SpongeBob, are you sure

you're feeling ship-shape?

[pants, whimpers]

I'm sorry, Mr. Krabs.

My pet worm had babies,

then got chased away,

and now I gotta find them all

a place to live.

-Babies?

-Yeah.

-Let me see.

-Really?

Yeah, come on, let me see them.

I like babies.

-Well, OK.

-Hey there, little critters.

Come to...

Oh, he likes you!

Get that disgusting vermin

out of me restaurant, pronto!

[sobs]

Blech!

Oh, well, at least

I still have you guys.

[sniffs] Hmm...

-[sniffs]

-What is it?

I'd recognize this goo anywhere.

It comes from a baby spotted

glistening meadow worm.

The rarest of its species.

Dude, those things

are worth a fortune.

Did you say fortune?

. , that's right,

get them while they last.

-Don't be shy, folks.

-These things are so cute!

Enjoy your new home, little guy.

Isn't he just adorable?

[crowd cheering]

That sure was a great idea

you had, Mr. Krabs.

Well, it's like they always say

back in the Old Country, lad.

-What's that?

-I don't know.

I've never been

to the Old Country!

[both laugh]

[Plankton] Oh, come on,

Karen, please!

Well, if you must know...

There's nothing wrong

with Chum Bucket fare. Look!

Here's a fresh batch

of a delicious new Chum sauce.

It's called Spicy Chum Surprise.

-Uh...

-[bubbling]

[eagle screeches, man screaming]

Delectable!

Oh, I'm sure it'll be

a huge success.

[alarm blaring]

Sorry, no time for

your senseless chatter.

I've got a customer

to attend to.

OK, so what about

the Krabby Cola?

We don't serve Krabby Cola.

We carry Bucket Bubbler

and Chum Cherry Blast.

OK, well,

then can I just make sure

I get those Krabby fries

with extra Krabby sauce?

[sighs] How many times

must I say it?

We don't carry Krabby fries,

we don't carry Krabby Cola,

we don't carry Krabby sauce

and we don't carry

Krabby patties!

So, if you want any of

those things,

you're gonna have to

go to the Krusty Krab,

which is located directly

across the street.

-Thanks for the directions.

-Anytime.

What is wrong with people?!

Honestly, I don't think

anyone in Bikini Bottom

would know a decent meal if it

looked them right in the eye

and said, "Hello, I'm a decent

meal. Wonderful to meet you.

Please pay money for me,

and then put me in your mouth

so your old pal Plankton

doesn't lose everything

he spent his life working for!"

Yeah, and if anyone ever did

order one of your meals,

it probably would

look 'em in the eye.

You know, Karen,

sometimes I wonder

if you're here to help me run

the Chum Bucket

or just to make me feel

like I'm two inches tall.

Maybe in heels.

If it wasn't for me,

you probably wouldn't even

remember to blink.

Oh, come on! When we first met,

you were little more

than a jumbled mass

of diodes and wires.

I made you what you are today.

Literally!

So, don't think you couldn't

be replaced in a heartbeat.

-Ow!

-What's the matter?

My eye is burning,

and I don't know why.

Blink.

Oh, yeah, thanks for

reminding me. Now, where was I?

You were threatening

to replace me.

Oh, yeah. I don't need you!

I could make a whole army

of computers

that might actually

help me steal the formula.

Oh, please.

I'll show you, woman!

[Plankton] Oh, Karen?

[romantic music playing]

Now what?

Could you come here

for a moment?

What do you want?

Feast your, uh, screen on this.

[fanfare]

That's my replacement?

It's a toaster.

[laughs]

That, my dear,

is a T -A Comp-u-matic.

The finest of its kind.

-Good morning, sir.

-Good morning, T -A.

[expl*si*n]

They're supposed to do that.

Next, behold the Noxious

Enterprises Super SPU .

Liquid-cooled

mobile processing unit,

a mind-staggering combination

of both power and refinement.

That'll help you

get the formula.

And now, Karen,

the pièce de résistance.

Have you ever witnessed

such marvelous machinery?

It sort of just looks like

an old hair dryer

taped to the back

of a miniature windmill.

I could see how someone at your

level of technical knowledge

would think that, Karen.

But in actuality,

what you are looking at is...

Oh, right.

I don't recall you ever having

reason to own a hair dryer.

OK, here we go.

Are you gonna make me get

the picture down again?

What picture?

You see? Plenty of reason

to be using a hair dryer.

Why are we even

talking about this?

Because you were the one

who said...

-[flame whooshes]

-What's going on?

Dear Neptune!

Karen, do something!

Quick, they're tearing

each other apart!

Just press a button

or something!

Not that one!

[alarm blaring]

[screams]

Well, it's good to see that

strategy didn't fall flat.

You know, Karen,

with you around,

I'm beginning to wonder

how I'm still alive.

Oh, so, it's my fault, is it?

That's right!

Now it's all clear.

It's you who've been

holding me back!

In fact, if it weren't

for your constant stifling,

I'd have the whole world running

for the safety of their mommies!

You and your crack team

of robots, huh?

Maybe I could iron out

a few bugs.

But then you'll see

just how much I need you.

Karen? What's this?

It's words on paper.

It says, "Dear Plankton,

I've logged onto

another network.

I just can't go into sleep mode

at night

knowing that you'll

continue blaming me

for all of your failures.

Anyway, you're a grown

single-celled organism

and allowed to make

your own syntax errors.

Nice knowing you, Karen."

Ah, who needs her? Not me!

I'm gonna steal

that Krabby Patty formula

from Mr. Krabs once and for all.

And then we'll see

who's made the error.

[evil laughter]

Ow!

"PS, don't forget to blink."

Oh, yeah.

OK, team, listen up.

We're on our own now,

so we don't have anything

holding us back.

Now, I know you all look upon me

kindly since I am your creator,

but the last thing

the Chum Bucket needs,

if we're gonna be victorious,

is a bunch of soft...

uh... software.

Does everybody understand?

[gurgling]

[pings]

I said, does everybody

understand?!

[blowing]

All right, then, let's do this!

T -A, to position.

SPU to position.

Command module to position!

[laughs]

Now, let's see Krab stop this.

I'll show him.

I'll show them all!

[laughs]

This just in, a diabolical

albeit haphazardly

thrown together machine

is attacking Bikini Bottom,

and is headed straight for

the Krusty Krab!

Why is the local news

always such rubbish?

Hey, Squidward, look.

I finally figured out

a way to get my mop wet

without dipping it

in the bucket.

SpongeBob, nobody cares about...

[thumping]

[laughs]

[grunts] Hey!

[Plankton] Krabs,

I want to see you!

[whimpers]

OK, boy, get out there!

Um, hello. What do you want,

robot thing, sir?

Oh, hey, Plankton.

What are you doing here?

I'm here for the secret formula,

you twit.

I want you to go in there

and tell Krabs

that if he doesn't turn over

the formula to me,

he will be subjected

to utter annihilation at my...

-Are you getting this?

-[gasps] Mm-mm.

Ah, moron!

OK, I'll make it simple.

Krabs, give me secret formula,

or I bring big boom-boom

to Krusty Krab. Got it?

"Krabs, give me

secret formula, or..."

-What was that other thing?

-Ah, forget it!

Bring on the boom-boom! [laughs]

Battle stations, men!

Here he comes!

We're all doomed,

we're all doomed,

we're all doomed,

we're all doomed!

Doomed, doom, doom-doom-doom!

We're all doomed,

we're all doomed,

we're all doomed,

we're all doomed!

Later.

[laughs maniacally]

[laughs]

-[all noise stops]

-Hey, what gives?

[both laugh]

[crashing]

[sobs]

Oh, curse you, cruel fate!

Once again,

you've left me covered in

the sticky goo of my own folly.

Only this time... I'm all alone.

[sobs]

[clears "throat"]

Karen! You've come back to me!

Actually, I just came

to get my keyboard.

Oh, I knew you couldn't

stay away, I knew it!

[sighs] Right, let me guess,

another failure?

What are you gonna do?

Machines these days, right?

Uh, listen, sweetie,

I'm sorry about what I said.

Truth is, I could never

replace you, honey bunch.

Let's go home, huh?

[sighs] OK.

Hey, I can whip us up a little

dinner, what do you say?

-Want me to leave you again?

-Or we could go out!

That'd be fine, too.