05x05 - New Digs/Krabs à la Mode

[bunniefuu]

SPONGEBOB:
Got to hurry, Gary.

The sooner I get to bed,

the sooner I'll get to sleep,
and the sooner

l get to sleep,
the sooner I'll wake up,

and the sooner I'll wake up,
oh, ho-ho!

The sooner I can go to work

at the best job
in the whole world:

The Krusty Krab!

Now, to just put on these
sleepy time blinders,

before I run excitedly to bed.

(crashing)

Well, good night, Gar.

(meowing)

l'm just going
to turn out the lights.

Clickety poo.

And close my eyes
and go to sleep.

(snoring)

Just close my eyes

and go to sleep.

(groaning)

Just close my...

Maybe if I run around
it'll tire me out.

(panting)

Oh, I just got
to get some sleep!

There's only one
thing for this.

Ah, that's the stuff.

A glass of warm snail milk.

(gulping)

(glass breaking)

(watch beeping, ticking)

Ah! Why isn't it working?

(snoring)

(crowing)

Whoa, Gary, what happened?

Help, I'm late for work!

(panting)

Oh, my gosh,
only seconds to go.

What the...? Bridge out?

(breathing heavily, gasping)

Hopscotch!
(girls laughing)

(cheering)

Almost there.

(panting)

(screaming)

(beeping)

No!

I'm late.

What's Mr. Krabs going to say?

(sizzling) Tardy pants!

You sir, are a tardy pants.

Wait till Mr. Krabs finds out!
(bell dinging)

You better think
of something to save your job.

SQUIDWARD (over PA):
One Krabby Patty
and Krabby Fries

for Table Four.

Order up!

Here you go, sir.

One Krabby Patty,
Krabby Fries

and a Krabby drink
in three seconds flat.

Spill at table...

I'm on it!

Nothing a dedicated,

on-time employee
can't handle.

Kiddies get
a free touch up.

Ta-dah! All done.

Hey, SpongeBob?

No! Please don't throw
me out in the street.

l am so sorry
for what I did.

What'd you do?

I was a minute late for work.

A minute late?

A whole seconds.

Well, uh, don't do it again.

No, no!

You have to punish me.

What? Okay, uh,

then wipe down the salad bar.

Aye, aye, sir.

And good night.

I love it here, Mr. Krabs.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sheesh.

If you love it here so much,

why don't you just live here?

(chuckling)

(straining)

(crickets chirping)

Something's not right.

What is it?

Do I miss my old clock?
(loud ticking)

Maybe it's my own bed.

Oh, that's it.

I'll make The Krusty Krab
just like home.

What do you say, Gary?

(meowing, snoring)
SpongeBob?

What in Neptune's Navy
is going on here?

SpongeBob reporting
for duty, sir.

How long you been here?

All night, sir.
All night?

That's right. I'm going
to live here from now on,

so I'll never ever be
tardy pants again.

Hold on! This ain't
no hotel, boy.

Here's my first
month's rent.

Rent?

Okay. Well, let's get
ready for the customers.

Start scrubbing the grill and...

Already done, sir.

Well, then start cooking some...

Done.
(sizzling)

All that before we've even
opened our doors, sir.
Okay.

Then get cleaned up.

You're a mess.
Eww, I guess I could

use some freshening up.

(water hissing)

(squeaking, dishwasher stops)

Jammed again.

Whoa! Oh, hi,
Squidward.

SpongeBob,
what are you doing here?

Oh, I live here now.

In the dishwasher?

No, at The Krusty Krab.

Now, if you'll
excuse me.

SpongeBob living
at The Krusty Krab?

Wait a minute.
If he's living here,

that means he won't
be living next to me.

Oh!

(laughing)

Must be a full moon.

Mr. Squidward?

Just saying good night
to SpongeBob, Mr. Krabs.

Sweet dreams, SpongeBob.

You look so much comfier here

than in your old home.

Won't you miss me living
next door, Squidward?

(laughing):
No.

Coming Eugene.

Whoo-hoo-hoo!

Good night's sleep,
here I come.

And when I went home at night,

guess what?

He wasn't there?

Right! And when I
woke up in the morning?

Can I just get my change?

He still wasn't there!

(laughing)

Come on, man, my change.

Here you go.

Yeah, thank...

(gasps)

Oh, real funny, buddy.

Two socks and a pair
of tighty whities?

Socks and... What the...?

SpongeBob, why is your underwear

in the cash register?

Well, I had to
put them somewhere

and my underwear drawer is all
filled up with Krabby Patties.

And the freezer's all filled up
with my snowflake collection.

So I put the cash

from the cash register
in the pickle jar.

What?

Oh, lighten up, Squidward.

'Tis harmless tomfoolery.

Do you want to know
where the mustard is?

(meowing)

Ah! Eww!

Well, he may be twice
as annoying at work,

but it still beats
having him as a neighbor.

(sighing)

♪ Laundry song, la-la-la ♪

♪ Sing about your laundry
all day long ♪

♪ La-la-la-la laundry song. ♪

SpongeBob!
You can't be

hanging your delicates
in me customer's faces.

Well, they don't seem to mind.

Oh! I have disgusting clientele.

Who spend their money freely.

Aye, aye, Captain.

Because I'd hate for a certain
living arrangement...

meaning yours... to interfere

with said money spending.

What the barnacles?

SpongeBob!

Why is your bed in me office?

It was getting kind
of crowded in the kitchen.

So I moved in here.

You can't stay in here.

These are me private
quarters, boy.

The only place I can escape
for solitude during the day.

But I'll only be here at night.

Please, Mr. Krabs,
I won't get in your way.

Please!
Oh...

Okay, but I'll have
to raise your rent.

Oh, thank you, Mister...
(doorbell ringing)

(gasping):
My parents!

Your parents?

Mom, Dad!
Come on in.

And this is the guest room.

Mom, Dad, Mr. Krabs.

Oh, hello.

Whoa!
(dishes breaking)

Well, I'll let you two
get settled.

Is this your snail?

(gasping):
Gary!

Bad boy! No!

Put that thing on a leash.

Squidward, who put these

fancy smelling soaps
in the restroom?

The same person who knitted
these napkin holders

and embroidered the menus.

(gasps)

Argh.

That boy's taking the manliness

out of me restaurant.

Oh, he didn't.

Floral print curtains

in me office?

That's it.
That's the last straw!

l'm not putting up
with this any longer.

Oh!
Oh, ooh, I...

I... I'm sorry, I didn't know...
(screaming)

What's going on in here?
No, I...

(dishes breaking)

(buzzing)
What the...?

(buzzing)

(razor clicks off)

Thanks, SpongeBob!

lf I could reach
I'd do it myself.

(patrons screaming)

Ugh!

(panicked screaming)

(screaming)

Me customers!

(crying)

Gone! Gone!

All they wanted...
was to give me...

their money.

(sobbing)

SpongeBob!

Pack your bags, boy.
(buzzing)

You're moving out.

(sighs)

(brakes squeak)

What the?

SpongeBob, what are
you doing here?

Oh, Mr. Krabs kicked me out,
so now we're neighbors again.

Hey, my drums!

(frantically drumming)

(yelling)

Squidward!

NARRATOR:
It is a cold and windy day.

Bikini Bottom is covered
in goose bumps.

Oh, it's freezing in here.

Not if you get
up and exercise!

Hop, two, hop, two.

Yes, sir, my buns
are nice and toasty.

I'm so glad I don't eat here.

(shivering)

How cold does Krabs
keep this place anyway?

degrees?

Oh, that cheapskate!

I'm going to set it
to a toasty .

(alarm blaring)

Who... touched...

me thermostat?

Oh, thanks a...

You're welcome, Squidward.

Mr. Squidward, you're always
going on about your book club.

Read this.

(beeping)

Heat costs money!

There's two ways to get
on me bad side, boys.

I don't like kids
playing in me yard,

and nobody but me
touches me thermostat.

That's totally selfish!

Yeah, your yard is really fun.

There are kids playing
on it right now.

What?!

(laughing, cheering)

Hey, you kids,
get off of my lawn.

PLANKTON:
That's right, run, Krabs.

For I have found
your Achilles heel.

I'll freeze you out of business,

and I'll do it with your
precious thermostat.

(laughing maniacally)

What the? Oh, no.

Code red.

Abandon ship!

Abandon ship!

(screaming)

(echoing):
No matter.

ln four to six hours
I will have my revenge.

(laughing maniacally)

I'm going to go recover
from hypothermia.

Hippo what-ia?

What does that mean?

lt means he's
a big fat crybaby.

(toilet flushing)

Locked in again.

That crusty old barnacle might

keep me from his secret formula,

but I'd like to see him
serve a Krabby Patty

when I'm done with this place.

ln to every life,
a little rain must fall.

Krabs, it's just business.

(wind howling)

Well, maybe it is personal.

I'm touching your thermostat!

l'm touching
your thermostat!

(laughing maniacally)

(Krabs groaning)

Someone...

touching...

thermostat.

I meant to bring a sweater.

It's colder than yesterday.

That's why I wore mittens.

Mm, toasty.

Huh?

Morning, boys.

Lock's a bit sticky
this morning.

Is it cold in here?

Or is it just me?

Well, get to work.

What?
Aye, aye, Mr. Krab.

Whoa!

Whoa!

Pardon me!

(screaming)

All right, quit clowning
around and get to work.

Yes, sir.

As soon as you turn the heat up!

The temperature stays
at degrees.

There's icicles hanging
from the ceiling.

l don't care if Santa Claus

and Jack Frost are
having ice cream cones.

Don't... touch...

the thermostat!

(cracking)
(yelling)

I knew you'd be

too stubborn
to turn the heat up.

Let's see how long you keep
those customers

when you give them
the cold shoulder.

Wow, what is with this?

What's taking so long?

Quit your lollygagging
and get a move on.

(yelling)

Order up.

Let's get out of here.

Yeah, let's go!

PLANKTON:
Yes, flee that frozen
wasteland.

Warmth and joy have
left your lives!

Hey, buddy, you want
to eat at The Chum Bucket?

(screaming)

Fine!

At least Krabs' place
is deserted.

Hey, the customers
are coming back!

I don't understand.

What's bringing them back?

What the?

Just put those patties
back when you're done.

Can do, Mr. Krabs.

l'm really glad
I don't eat here.

Order up!

Where's my food?

Mm.

I want my Krabby Flabby!

Coming right up, sir.

Ow!

Delicious!

(cheering)

Wow, that looks like fun.

I'll have two Krabby Patties,
but don't cook them.

I'll have two frozen
Krabby Patties, too.

Yes, sir.

I want Patty skates!

I need two patties now.

It's beautiful.

I'm selling twice
as many patties

and I don't even
have to cook them.

This is the happiest,

and most cost-effective
day of me whole life.

(laughing)

PLANKTON:
No!

How is this possible?

I freeze his place solid and he
turns it into an ice rink.

He's making more
money than ever.

That's because, unlike you,
he's a good business man.

Well, if it isn't the wind
beneath my wings.

I don't understand why
you don't just steal

a Krabby Patty
in all that confusion.

I'll be right back.

(chuckling)

(sighs):
I don't know why
I encourage him.

(whooping)

MR. KRABS:
This is fantastic.

The local hockey team is paying
me to practice here.

Coming through!

Hi, Patrick.

(mumbles):
Hi, SpongeBob.

(whistle blowing)

Where'd the puck go?

Holy shrimp!

Plankton!

(yelling)

PLANKTON:
I did it.

I finally got a Krabby Patty.

SPONGEBOB:
Not quite, Plankton.

You'll have to
get past me, first.

There's the puck.

That little square guy has it.

Get him.

(laughing):
Yes!

(whistle blowing)

Whoa!

You're mine now, Plankton!

You won't get away
with this, Plankton!

Hey, SpongeBob,
long time no see.

What you been up to?
How was your weekend?

Oh, my weekend was fabulous,
thank you for asking.

Patrick and I went
jellyfishing,

but I lost my net.

So I tried to borrow
one from Squidward,

but he didn't have one.

And then when he yelled
at me, he swallowed a bug.

(laughing):
Swallowed a bug!

Fascinating.

Well, got to go.

Hey!

Better luck next time,
SpongeBob.

There's the puck, eh?
Get it!

Uh-oh.

Whoa!

Whoa!

(screams)

Ow.

Hold it right there, Mister.

(laughs)

(yelling)

(screaming)

(rumbling)

(sighs)

Yes, I'm going to make it!

(whistle blowing)

(tweeting)

(screaming)

SPONGEBOB:
Got you, Plankton.

PLANKTON:
On the contrary.

It is I who has you.

(gasping)

The clamboni!

Run for it!

Ow!

(laughing maniacally):
Run, you fools.

Run!

(humming pleasantly)

(rumbling)

(screaming)

(mumbles)

It's working.

l'm actually going
to get a Krabby Patty.

(screaming)

Come on,
get out of the way!

You're blocking the exit.

(grunting)

(engine putters)

No!

No!

(sobbing)

MR. KRABS:
I'll take that.

(chuckles)

Brilliant idea to block the exit
with your body, SpongeBob.

Um, thank you, Mr. Krabs.

(laughs):
You lose again, Plankton.

I'm not giving up yet, Krabs.

I've still got my secret w*apon.

The thermostat!

Thermostat?

That's right, Krabs.

It was I who froze
The Krusty Krab.

You see?

(gasping)

You've gone too far
this time, Plankton.

You can pound me employees,

try to destroy me restaurant,

but nobody messes
with me thermostat.

(boxing bell rings)

See, Krabs?

You can't defeat me.

(laughs)

Woo!

(laughing)

Whoa.

(coughing)

Here's your Krabby Patty
and lemonade, Mr. Krabs.

Thank you, lad.

Well, well, if
it isn't Plankton.

You know,
I should thank you.

What with the ice rink and now
the swimming pool gimmick,

I'm making more money
than I ever did

with the old Krusty Krab.

Hey, you got any
more good ideas?

(slurping)

(screams)