04x11 - Whale of a Birthday/Karate Island

[bunniefuu]

Good morning, bikini bottom!

It is a very special day today

Because we've got the new single from boys who cry,

It's all about you.

- Yeah, it's all about me.

- On my 16th birthday.

I want music and clothes and shiny things.

So give it up right away.

Everybody in the whole wide world

They have to pay attention to me.

It's all about me, me...

And guess who.

Me!

Crash!

- Neptune's treasures!

- Morning, daddy.

- Are you sure you wouldn't prefer a room

On the ground floor?

- Oh, daddy.

I'm just excited because tomorrow's a very special day.

It is?

Oh, i mean, it is!

Very special!

Very, very special indeed.

- You have no idea what day tomorrow is, do you?

- None at all.

- It's my 16th birthday!

- I knew that.

How could you think i wouldn't know that?

What are you going to be, 12?

- I'm going to be 16!

It's only the most important birthday in my entire life.

If i don't have a completely awesome party,

My whole high school reputation will collapse.

I'll have to drop out.

I won't go off to college.

I'll never leave home.

You'll have to support me for the rest of my life.

Well, we don't want that to happen.

- Then promise me you'll give me a real party this year.

And don't be cheap.

Hi, girls.

- Hi, pearl.

- Are you guys coming

To my totally coral birthday party tomorrow?

- I don't know, pearl.

Is this going to be as totally coral as last year

When your dad passed out paper clips as party favors?

- Remember the time we all had to share one balloon?

Please.

- Remember the pony ride?

I can't wait to see how he ruins this year.

Daddy!

Everybody, brace for impact!

Tell me you've got something totally coral

Planned for my birthday party.

- Now, now, don't snap your mizzenmast.

Everything is all set.

Why, i've already got the party favors:

Bubble wrap!

This year's gonna be a blast.

- Daddy, you ruined all my birthday parties.

But you better not ruin this one.

Now, promise me you won't be cheap.

I promise.

- Good.

Because i made a list.

Now, i want everything on this list at my party.

Bye.

I'll be at the mall with my friends.

- Spongebob!

- Yes, mr. Krabs?

- While i plan the party,

I want you to buy pearl's present.

Here you go, boy.

- What's this, mr. Krabs?

- It's me credit card.

You use it instead of money.

- I can buy stuff with just this piece of plastic?

I don't need money?

- Exactly. - Whoa.

- Now remember, nothing's too good for me little pearl.

I wanted to give her nothing,

But she's too good for that.

Now follow her around and see what she likes.

You know, do some detective work.

- Detective work.

I'm going undercover.

- So that's when marcie told me

That julie said that angela did like brad.

- Angela likes brad.

- Oh, my gosh!

This is the greatest thing i have seen

In the whole world.

- I'd like to buy that piece of plastic

With this piece of plastic.

- Mr. Krabs, huh?

Quick. How do you spell "krabs"?

- Um...

I'm pretty sure it has a "b" in it.

- Close enough.

Here you go, kid.

- That's it? Huh.

I'll never understand the workings of high finance.

- Wow.

This is the greatest thing i've ever seen

In the whole world.

Glitter gloss.

- Oh, no.

I bought the wrong present.

- Pearl, you have got to see this.

- Coming, judy.

- Now, this is obviously the greatest present ever.

This is the greatest thing in the whole world!

- The banner's up, mr. Krabs.

- I've had that since the day she was born.

I got it on sale.

- I'm sure she'll love it, mr. Krabs.

- This sea pony is the cutest thing ever.

Do you want to come home and be my pony?

Wee!

- Pearl, come here.

This is so coral.

- Oh, my gosh. It's billy fishkin.

All: hi, billy.

- Meep.

- Oh, isn't he dreamy?

- Price check on four.

- Meep.

- I finished pearl's portrait, mr. Krabs.

It's a true masterpiece.

- Hey...

Maybe i should have hired that ice sculptor.

- Ice sculptor?

Any fool can sculpt in ice.

It takes true genius

To transform 400 pounds of raw krabby patties

Into a work of such majesty.

- Yeah.

Well, we've got the decor covered.

Now, how about entertainment? Let me see here.

Pearl wants some boy band called boys who cry.

- Boys who cry?

They're my favorite band.

They charge a million dollars just to show up.

If you want them to lip-Sync, it'll run into real money.

- You're a real fan, huh?

- Oh, yeah.

I know all their songs.

All their songs?

Beep! Cha-Ching!

Beep! Cha-Ching!

- Wouldn't it be cool if my dad got me this for my birthday?

- It sure would be, if he was cool...

Which he's not.

- Yeah, he probably got me another box of staples.

- It's almost time for the party to start.

- I'm back, mr. Krabs.

- Spongebob, what took you so long?

And where's pearl's present?

- The delivery truck will be here momentarily.

- Here she comes, mr. Krabs.

- Everybody get in position.

All: happy birthday!

- "It's a boy"?

- Daddy!

- Stale popcorn.

It tastes like dishwater.

- It is dishwater.

- Is that supposed to be me?

It's made out of krabby patties.

Gross!

- Who wants cake?

- Well, the cake does look good.

Chomp!

It's made out of cardboard.

- And frosting.

- Wow, pearl.

16 lame parties in a row.

Must be a new record.

Let's get out of here.

- Wait.

Don't leave.

My dad got boys who cry to play.

You did get boys who cry, right?

- Ooh, even better, sweetie.

Hit it.

- Hello, ladies.

- Hey, that is not boys who cry.

- Yeah.

- Boo!

- What a rip-Off.

- This stinks!

- Daddy, how could you?

I gave you a list.

- Pearl, come back.

Smack!

- You ruined everything.

You couldn't stop being cheap, even for me.

- I'll make it up to you somehow, pearl.

- That's it!

Back it up.

Right there.

Let 'er go.

Crash!

- You bought me a boat?

- I did?

I mean...

I did?

All: wow.

- Oh, daddy, i don't know how it could get better than this.

- Just watch.

Hit it, boys.

How much is all this costing me?

Here's the receipt.

I ought to--

- Oh, daddy.

You got me everything i wanted.

Smooch!

- Ah, nothing's too good for me daughter.

- You're a good dad, mr. Krabs.

- Don't push your luck, boy.

- Okay, gary.

Ready for your yearly shell-Waxing?

Just look at that shine.

Now, let's check under the hood.

Jeez, gary. This place is a real snail-Sty.

- Still? From new year's eve?

- What?

I've been looking everywhere for this, gary!

My favorite novelty t-Shirt.

Ooh! Someone's here.

- Special delivery for spongebob squarepants.

- Special delivery?

Just for me?

You think i'm...

Special?

- All right, do we have to go through this

Every time i give you your mail?

Sheesh!

- What could it be today, gary?

- A videotape?

"You're a winner!

Spongebob squarepants."

I'm spongebob squarepants!

Tv announcer: karate island!

A serene and exotic location

Where nature and beauty abound

And hundreds of fighting styles collide

In a wave of non-Stop, pulsating,

No-Holds barred action!

For centuries, the world's top karate artists

Have journeyed to this land to be crowned king of karate.

- King...

Of karate?

Announcer: now it's your turn...

- Spongebob squarepants.

Announcer: you've won an all-Expense paid trip

To karate island...

Hiyah!

Where you will be crowned this year's

King of karate.

- Ooh...

Did you hear that, gary?

I'm going to crowned...

King of karate!

Whoo-Hoo!

Hi...

Yah!

- Howdy, spongebob.

- Hello, sandy.

Have you heard the news?

I've been invited to karate island

To be crowned the king of karate.

- Karate island?

I've never heard of karate island.

- Oh, sure, sandy,

All the big karate experts go there.

- But...

My karate is better than yours by a country mile,

And i've never been invited.

- Maybe your karate was the best,

But now they've recognized a new number one.

- There's something rotten in the alamo.

I'd better tag along with you

And see if it's on the up-And-Up.

- All right, sandy,

You can come with me to witness my "crowning" moment.

Are we there yet?

- Yup, that's it over there.

- What makes you think that's karate island?

- I don't know.

Lucky guess?

- Hello, there, the king of karate has arrived.

- Welcome to my island, spongebob-San.

- Oh, thank you.

- I am master udon.

- Howdy, master udon. Sandy cheeks.

I do a little karate myself.

- Sandy, sandy, sandy.

Mr. Udon isn't interested in a karate novice like you.

He only has time for royalty.

- Oh, brother.

- Please, show me some of your moves,

Master spongebob.

- You hear that, sandy? He called me "master."

Bring on your best fighters!

I'll try to go easy on them.

- Hiyah!

- Spongebob, your karate's not good enough

To handle those sidewinders.

- Pa-Shaw!

Watch and learn, sister.

- Yup, that's how the king of karate does it.

Who's next?

- Something smells like rancid rodeo around here.

- Excellent.

Truly, you are king of karate.

- The one and only.

- We must make ready for your coronation.

- I'm ready to be king of karate!

- King of karate-San,

It is time for you to take your rightful place

On your throne.

- My throne.

- All right, udon, i'm onto you.

This place is as crooked as a dizzy sidewinder.

- Come, sandy,

Take your place next to the king

And share in my crowning achievement.

Clap! Clap!

Bring a seat for my air-Breathing friend.

- Spongebob, y'all are getting a bit wily.

- Oh, do i detect a note of jealously, sandy?

- Heck, i could karate you into a country fiddle

With one paw tied behind my back.

But who's being crowned king of karate?

Not you.

- I'm getting off this crazy train!

- Master, don't worry about her.

She is missing out on the opportunity of a lifetime.

Let the coronation begin!

- Sandy's gonna miss out big-Time.

Click!

- That dang spongebob.

Who does he think he is?

I taught that yellow egomaniac

Everything he knows about fighting,

And that ain't much.

- No!

- Spongebob's in trouble!

Spongebob is the "king of karate."

He doesn't need me.

Eh, he can handle this himself.

- Sandy, i need you!

I can't handle this myself!

- Hold on, buddy!

- No!

Sandy!

- She will never reach you.

She must first pass through...

- The four floors of fear.

- Spongebob?

- Ha.

Ha-Ha-Ha.

You cannot pass

Unless you defeat me, the tickler,

And my iron-Finger style.

Ha-Ha!

Ha-Ha.

Look!

- Prepare for the tickling of your life!

Taste these!

Oh, no!

Jelly-Filled doughnuts!

How did you know they were my weakness?

No one can resist jelly-Filled.

Hiyah!

Hiyah!

Hiyah! Hiyah!

Hiyah!

Sticky around.

I'll be back with the glazed.

- I could use a wet-Nap.

- All right, who's next?

- Halt.

No one advances past me, lip service,

And my power-Flexy dynamo-Lip thruster style.

- Hiyah!

- Dance, squirrel! Dance!

- Advanced hair-Dryer style.

What do you expect to do with that?

Oh, no!

Not chapped lips!

Crunch!

- That's enough lip out of you.

Whaa!

- No one has ever made it to the lair of filthy phil.

No one passes except me.

Now, feel the sting of my horrible body odor!

- Ha-Ha, phil!

Your foul stench can't permeate my fresh-Air dome.

- Fresh-Air dome?

Man.

I really do stink.

- Hiyah!

- You are one impressive squirrel.

You even made a costume change.

- Release spongebob!

- Never.

Thud!

- He is forbidden to leave until...

He signs this contract.

- What are you talking about? - Real estate.

- You mean this whole thing was a scam

To get us to buy real estate?

- Yes.

If there was a real karate island,

I'd be a millionaire.

- You mean i'm not king of karate?

- No.

But you could be king of condos.

Here, let me explain.

It's really quite simple.

You see,

If you invest in a timeshare here on condo island,

You can see your equity increase tenfold.

Perhaps you and your yellow friend

Would like to set up a timeshare plan?

- Don't do it, sandy!

Hiyah!

I won't give in to your timeshare vacation scam!

- Then give in to my fists.

Hiyah!

Splash!

- You're in the soup now, udon!

- Sandy, i'm sorry i acted like a jerk back there.

Thanks for saving me from...

Gulp!

Buying a condo.

- Oh, shucks, spongebob, that's what friends are for.

- I still have one question, though.

Does this mean i'm not king of karate anymore?

- You are in my book, spongebob.

You are in my book.

Now, let me tell you about real estate.

It's all about location...

- I'm here!

The king of clarinets has arrived!