05x16 - The Godfather of the Bride II

[bunniefuu]

[ Thunder crashing ]

[ Drilling, sawing ]

[ Electricity crackling ]

It's alive!

Gentlemen,
what you're about to see

must not leave this room.

[ Snaps fingers ]

Dallas, !

There is a cat!

Moscow, !

There is a cat!

Here are some stairs!

There is a cat!

New Orleans, !

There is a cat!

So, what we're seeing is that

we're being observed or

manipulated by a cat.

Or a number of cats.

What can we do about it?

Nothing!

You can do nothing!

[ All screaming ]

All: Goodbye, Harry!

[ Grunts sadly ]

[ Grunts loudly ]

Oh, my god!
Are you okay?

[ Grunts sleepily ]

Ugh?

Oh, hi, you're awake.

I'm Sally Williams.

Sorry about hitting you.
Oh, uh-huh.

And then my
second boyfriend ever,

Lorenzo, what an egomaniac.

I mean, all he cared about
was lacrosse.

Why don't guys
call you back the next day?

I mean, I am so tired
of playing games.

Okay, you know what
makes me laugh?

Unh?
How guys don't know when

women are faking orgasms.
Huh?

[ Scoffs ] You don't
know what I'm talking about?

[ Moaning ] Oh! Ohhhh! Ohhhhh!
[ Grunting ]

Oh! Oh!
[ Grunts furiously ]

Oh, whoa! Okay, Harry, whoa!

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Okay.

Okay, it's okay.

Easy. Relax.

And what will you have?
I'm good.

So, we've been
married for years.

A lot of my friends
think it's weird,

me [ Bleep ] Bigfoot.
But love is blind, right?

[ Sniffs ]

You're--you're not gonna eat

that meatball sandwich out
in the open are you?

Be careful!

[ Tone sounds ]

[ Baby cooing ]

Oh, she's just so precious!

Who's precious?
Yes, you are!

Oh! Oh. Ugh.

Ahhhhh.

[ Turtle munching ]

See you jizzbags later!

When "Lord of the Rings"
Author J.R.R. Tolkien

passed on, many thought
middle earth had come to an end.

But recently researchers found
a half-finished manuscript --

a sequel to "Lord of the Rings."

when, on direct orders
from Tolkien's will,

his -year-old grandson,
J.R.R. Tolkien Junior Jr.,

finished the novel
and the movie was made,

fans hoped middle earth
would rise again.

Here now we present
a never-before-seen sneak peak

of "Lord of the Rings:
The Final Journey."

[ Somber flute music plays ]

Oh, Merry,
I miss Mr. Frodo already.

Me too, Pippin.

Frodo was a dear, dear friend.

I like to eat poop.

Hey, look, it's Gandalf!

[ Horse whinnies ]

Merry, Pippin...

we are not safe!

A dark menace rises to the east.

Duckies go "quack."

Cows go "moo."

[ Moo! ]

I want ice cream.

Verily, will you hobbits
join my quest?

Both: Yes, Mr. Gandalf.
What about you,

Hannah Montana?

♪ I like macaroni
and cheese ♪

I want poop!

These F- s will take us

as far as the erendor river,

then we'll have to find
the Bridge of Larakaei.

Quickly! Everyone make
jet noises with your mouth!

[ All imitating jets whooshing ]

Moo!

The -headed
peanut butter and jelly monster

is too powerful,
and I like to eat

poop, poop, poop, poop...

I don't want to do
my homework.

Let's all sing
"The Muffin Man."

All: ♪ Oh, do you know
the muffin man? ♪

♪ The muffin man,
the muffin man ♪

♪ Oh, do you know the muffin ♪

[ Zip! sproing! zoom! zing! ]

[ Chattering and growling ]

[ Meow! ]

You shall not

poop, poop, poop,
poop, poop, poop!

I'm sorry. What the --

[ Tone sounds ]

Aah! Get it off!

[ Groans ]

[ Groaning ] Uh-oh.

[ Groaning ]

Aaaaah!

Waaaaah!

[ Panting ]

Aaaaah!

Aah! [ Grunts ]

Aaah!

[ Grunting ]

Aaaaaaaah...

[ Splat! crash! ]

[ Screaming ]

[ Dialing ]

[ Speaking alien language ]

[ Both grunt ]

[ Groans ]

[ Siren wails ]

[ Crash! ]

[ Door hinges creak ]

My name is Murray

and ain't nobody
gonna tell me how to

conjugate verbs!

Hi, I'm Steve.
Hey. Rachel.

So, what's your major?
Philosophy.

Oh, lots of demand for that

in the workplace, huh?

[ Record scratches ]

Clear the area!

This is hurt locker. Got a guy
just stepped on a land mine.

Actually, my father had
a philosophy degree.

Okay, buddy.
Just stay calm.

Oh, he must be
very proud of you.

That's it. Steady.

Actually, he's dead.

Oh, my god!

It's clicked and ready to blow!

I've only got seconds to defuse
this!

"I'm sorry to hear that."
Good.

"It must have been hard."

Hang in there. hang on.

How did he die?

He couldn't get a job,
and he k*lled himself.

Don't you
[ Bleep ] move, man!

[ Muffled laughing ]

[ Laughing ]

I'm sorry, man! I'm sorry!

I just wasn't good enough.

W-what?!

Nooooooooooo!

Get back!

Rock Biter? I've lost
my luck dragon, and I --

They look like big,
strong hands, don't they?

That's what I always thought.

But my little friends --

I couldn't hold onto them.

That's terrible,
but Falcor needs me, and I --

The nothing pulled them
right out of my hands --

my big, strong, good hands.

You know, the more you talk
about how great your hands are,

the harder it is to believe
you couldn't hold on
to your friends.

I was hoping
the soliloquy about my hands

would keep you
from asking any questions.

Yeah, I was almost
getting choked up,

but then I was like,
"What?

Rock biter's talking way too
much about his hands, yo."

They all bullied me
pretty bad.

Replace the "r" in my name
with a "c"

and you're getting a good idea
of what I put up with.

Yeah, I didn't even try
to hold on to them, actually.

I just watched them and waved.

I don't have time
for a neverending story.

[ Chuckles ] Good one.

High-five.
Not on your life.

Uh, meow. I need a g*n

and make sure it holds
nine b*ll*ts. Meow.

♪ I was born in the world
of video games ♪

♪ And I've been lonely
ever since ♪

♪ Everyone's trying
to save the princess ♪

♪ But who's gonna save
the prince? ♪

♪ I'm the first person
in a video game ♪

♪ To admit I like
the pole position ♪

♪ So I'm calling other gay
characters to join me ♪

♪ In my mission ♪

♪ To come out and say ♪

All: ♪ You're gay ♪

♪ I'm Zangief ♪

♪ What a relief ♪

♪ To say I like guy-on-guy ♪

♪ You used to watch ♪

♪ Me stick guys in my crotch ♪
[ Muffled ] Hyuken?

♪ And now
you understand why ♪

All: I'm gay!
♪ I am Cloud Strife ♪

♪ Don't have a wife ♪
All: ♪ His Strife ♪

♪ My Final Fantasy
is to wear women's clothes ♪

♪ Hot tub with bros ♪

♪ And give them my H.P. ♪

Uh, that means "hard penis."
All: We're gay!

♪ I'm Parappa the Rappa
and I'm filled with love ♪

♪ My friend P.J.
gives me a big hug ♪

♪ And I squeeze real hard,
and I hold on tight ♪

♪ But he pushes me away 'cause
he thinks it's not right ♪

♪ Please don't judge ♪

♪ I pack the fudge ♪

♪ I chase ghosts ♪

♪ Down the halls ♪

♪ You never guessed? ♪
Yes!

♪ I'm obsessed ♪
Obsessed!

♪ With munching
on the balls ♪

Ooh!

♪ We're finally proud
to say we're gay ♪

♪ Plug your controller in
and let's begin ♪

♪ To start a brand-new day ♪

♪ Play with your Wii ♪

♪ Grab your Sexbox ♪

♪ Gaystation ♪

♪ And maybe you'll see ♪

♪ That it's okay
to be as gay as... ♪

Me!

[ Applause ]

♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk,
ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪

♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk
wawk bawk bawk ♪

♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk,
ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪

♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk
wawk bawk bawk ♪

♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk,
ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪

♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk
wawk bawk bawk ♪

Ba-gawk!

Bawk.

Stoopid Monkey.