Super Mario Bros. (1993)

[bunniefuu]

(MARIO BROS TUNE)

A long, long time ago, the earth was ruled by dinosaurs.

They were big, so not a lot of people went around hassling them.

Actually, no people went around hassling them because there weren't any people yet.

Just the first tiny mammals.

(BOING)

Basically, life was good.

Lou, it just don't get no better than this.

Yeah!

(DRAMATIC DRUMMING)

Then something happened.

A giant meteorite struck the earth.

Goodbye, dinosaurs!

But what if the dinosaurs weren't all destroyed?

What if the impact of that meteorite created a parallel dimension where the dinosaurs continue to thrive and evolved into intelligent, vicious, aggressive beings?

Just like us!

And hey, what if they found their way back?

(HOOTING)

Hey, lady, what are you...?

(HOOTING)

Oh!

Where's the rock? Koopa.

(SCREAMS)

(BABY CRYING)

Welcome to Miraculous World, where each week we ask unanswered questions.

Today on our Miraculous World, another dimension, - the universe next door. (PHONE RINGS)

An alternate world separated by time and space and yet somehow joined and continuous with our own.

Mario Brothers Plumbing. No leak too small.

A-ha. No, no, no. Don't touch it.

No, it's not a big problem. Just leave it to the professionals.

- I was somewhere else. Another dimension, you mean?

Sure.

Another dimension... OK, we'll be right there.

Luigi, we got a broken dishwasher at the Riverfront Cafe.

You know what that means? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

We got work!

Mario, Mario, right now on Miraculous World, this guy just found out he was in another dimension.

The only thing miraculous I know is that we're still eating.

While we're going broke.

We ain't goin' broke, Mario. We're already there.

Yeah?

Ow! Are you spending money on this stuff?

Look at this!

Yeah, but it's got the article about the missing Brooklyn girls.

Yeah? It's also got one of the scientists who turns brains into cheese.

Yeah. You don't know. It could happen.

(LAUGHS) How could that possibly happen?

Anything's possible, Mario. You just gotta believe.

I do believe. I believe the rent is three months overdue. That's what I believe.

Hey, turn left here.

Left! I said left!

What are you doing? I don't know, Mario.

Just trust me. I got a good feeling about this alleyway. I don't know.

What?

My instincts tell me this'll be faster. Breathe in, big brother. We'll get there.

Luigi!

You know, I read that sea turtles navigate thousands of miles on instinct.

Not in New York traffic, they don't.

What are you complaining about? We're here, aren't we?

You're gettin' worse. I'm gettin' worse?

How did we get into sea turtles?

Faster. What did I tell you, huh?

It's a miracle we made it alive.

I thought you didn't believe in miracles, Mr Tough Guy, huh?

Scapelli. They b*at us to it again.

Another lost job.

One of Brooklyn's largest construction projects has been ordered shut down as university students continue their search for dinosaur bones.

Head contractor Anthony Scapelli is now arriving, hoping to settle the dispute.

Mr Scapelli! (CHEERING)

Who's in charge of this hole?

It's him again.

I'm the boss here.

I'm Anthony Scapelli.

I'm the boss elsewhere. My boys need to get back to work here.

How long you gonna be digging up these bones?

As long as our court order lasts, Mr Scapelli.

The university has explained to you how important this site is.

But we'd be done here a lot sooner if the g*ons would stop harassing us.

You look like a smart girl.

I bet you'll be done by tonight.

A lot of girls have been going missing in Brooklyn recently.

I'd be careful.

James, I'm gonna find a phone and call the university.

All right.

Keep everyone digging till I get back.

(SNIFFING)

They say it's dog. Don't blow it this time.

There she is.

Yeah? You sure? Two arms, one head, two legs.

Koopa's going to k*ll us if we blow it again.

Let's get her.

Luigi, I told you to check the radiator. Take it easy, will ya?

Relax! It's been making that sound all week.

Oh, come on, Luigi! You didn't tell me.

Oh man!

(VAN BACKFIRING)

Careful, it's hot.

Careful. Woah!

Agh!

I'll do this. Go check for messages.

See if we got any work. All right.

(SNIFFING)

(CLUNK)

I missed. Nice job.

Where're you goin'? Get some water.

This is AI Bronsky from AI Bronsky's Department Store.

I have a big flood over here

- so get all your plumbers... Thanks.

Get extra plumbers. Bring every plumber you...

Everybody's got tap water.

Three bucks!

Any jobs?

No.

Thank you.

Hi, it's Daisy. Listen, we're gonna need more security down here.

I don't care about the money. Scapelli's down here making threats and I...

She's beautiful, huh?

Who?

Her.

She's nice. Go talk to her. Go on. No, I can't.

I don't know what to say. What's the matter with you?

Fine.

(SIGHS) Bye.

Here she comes.

Excuse me. Thank you.

For letting me use the phone. Sure.

And for the quarter.

Are you OK?

I've got a few problems, but...

You know, we got a van.

It's nice.

No, no. I'm asking you if you want a ride.

Oh but...

It's broken though.

Well...

Your name's Daisy, isn't it?

I overheard your name was Daisy.

I haven't heard that name around here. It's really nice too.

No, I have heard it, cos it's like the flower and everything.

Not that I hang around flower shops or nothing like that.

What my brother is trying to say is he doesn't know what to say.

Doesn't even know how to begin but he has offered you a ride.

And if it would help you out, please step into the van.

That might not be a bad idea.

OK.

Thanks.

I thought it was broken. I fixed it.

Oh, here. This is as far as we can go. I'll have to walk the rest of the way.

Wait, wait, wait.

Ma'am? Why, thank you, sir!

Thank you for the ride.

It's a pleasure to meet me.

I mean it's a pleasure to meet you.

Dinner.

Do you eat?

Yeah.

Dinner?

Sure.

Tonight. Tonight?

Oh! OK.

Is six o'clock all right?

Be here.

Great.

Bye.

Bye.

What would you do without your big brother, huh?

I'd like to give it a sh*t and find out.

Come on! I was just about to ask her that.

You weren't about to ask her nothing. You was gonna let her go.

Now she's gonna think I'm a complete idiot.

Come on. You'll see her tonight. You impress her with your manners.

Yeah, but why did you tell her I suck my thumb?

So let me get this perfectly clear here.

What we're discussing is bones.

Not exactly.

OK, so Scapelli blasted through the bones in the rock and found what?

Iridium. Oh.

That's unbelievable!

It means that a meteorite hit here a long time ago.

And we think it could be what destroyed all the dinosaurs.

Wow! There were dinosaurs in Brooklyn?

Relax, Luigi. There used to be Dodgers here too!

Hey, I got an idea. Why don't you come down to the tanning salon and I can hook you up with some free tans?

Bring a nice bathing suit though, strapless so you don't get a tan line.

You probably wanna take off that rock. Actually...

I never take it off.

I know it sounds weird, but it's the only thing I have from when I was found.

Found?

I was abandoned.

I grew up at St Teresa's on Fulton Street.

You mean you don't know who your mother and father are neither?

No. What do you mean "neither"?

Cos Mario here brought me up.

He's been my mother my whole life. Hey!

My father. He's been my father, my uncle, my brother - everybody.

What are you two kids gonna do tonight?

We can take the van back ourselves.

Um... If you're not doing anything later tonight...

I would like to walk you home.

OK.

(SNORING)

Spike! Spike!

Where you going? To get the girl.

That's not the girl.

She's wearing a disguise. I can spot her a mile away.

Of course she's wearing a disguise. She thinks she can fool us.

I'm gonna go get her.

I'm gonna go get her. Wait a minute.

We'll follow her and we'll both go get her.

Good idea. I bag her, you grab her. No, I grab her, you bag her.

That's what I said. Exactly.

This is the one.

That's what you said about the last four girls.

I did? You did.

I just wanna say one thing first.

I wanna apologise right now in case, when I start to get talking, I start to say things that sound really weird.

Weird?

Look, weird is working in a bone pit all day and then spending your nights reading about things that have been dead for 65 million years.

That is weird. I find it fascinating.

And I mean, you know what? If you just wanna end this right now...

I would understand.

I was gonna ask you the same thing.

If you wanna end this right now and you feel bad about that, but you wanna talk to somebody about it, you can call me.

You really think what I do is interesting?

I think it's incredible.

Well, you know...

If you want...

I could show you.

I'd love you to show me.

Show me.

See you tomorrow. OK. Good night.

Drive carefully.

(SCREAMS) Mario!

You don't stand a chance. (LAUGHING)

I won!

That's what you think.

That was sneaky!

We don't even have any security here.

That's what I was calling about on the phone today.

I can't get the university to give me any extra money.

Is that why you were talking about Scapelli?

Yeah. Scapelli was down here with his crew blasting at the site and that's when they found the fossils.

Do you know where you're going?

It's just ahead.

What is this? ls this your office or something? Doesn't it give you the creeps?

Well, it's more like a home. I feel, I don't know, comfortable down here.

Comfortable? OK.

Well, this is it. Wow!

Have a look.

Awesome!

Oh, check this out.

These are all strange new species.

Look at this one - the way the bones fit here.

And the opposable thumb - it's almost as if he was a monster trying to be a human being.

It's beautiful.

You're beautiful.

Oh my... Hey! Hey, you guys!

They're Scapelli's. Oh no!

What did they do?

What is that down there?

Destroying everything under the sump pumps. Thank God you're here.

What do you mean?

You're a plumber, right? Oh, yeah.

I know exactly what to do.

Mario, Scapelli's flooding the site. We need your help.

Scapelli? Yeah.

Strap your bone on, kid. We're goin' in.

Scapelli's been trying to force us out ever since we got here. It's sabotage.

Down here.

Hurry!

This way. Allow me, I'm a professional.

Looks like a bottom one, right? Yeah.

Bottom 116 open-end.

Bottom 116 open-ended.

Wrong again. How many times have we got this wrong?

You've gotten it wrong five times.

Home for five, home for five. What percent is that?

I don't know. Let me think.

I don't know, but it's not good.

If we get it wrong one more time, he's gonna k*ll us.

He's not gonna k*ll us. He's not that nice.

(BANGING)

UP ahead!

It's her.

I sense her. (SNIFFING)

I definitely know it's her.

Basin wrench.

Basin wrench. Great.

Here.

Hand.

Hand.

Now, does this guys know his stuff or does this guy know his stuff?!

I'm tellin' you.

OK, you ready? Say when.

Let's go...now!

Scapelli's just an amateur.

(SCREAMS)

Daisy? Daisy, where are you? (DAISY SCREAMING)

Daisy! Answer me! Daisy, where are you?

Let's go this way. No, no!

Let's go this way. No, it's this way.

That's the echo. How do you know?

I've been listening to pipes all my life. Come on.

OK. Daisy!

Luigi, this is a mistake. It's a dead end. Come on, let's turn back.

OK, you go back. Luigi, please.

Give me the light. Come on, give me the light.

(DAISY'S SCREAMS ECHO) Daisy!

Luigi, you see how deep that is? Get back.

Agh!

The light! Lean back!

Let it go! Agh, God!

Hold on to me.

Daisy?

Daisy!

Watch it.

(DAISY'S VOICE ECHOES) Luigi!

sh*t!

Help me!

Daisy! ls that you?

Luigi!

No!

' Luigi! Help! Daisy!

Get off of me!

(WHOOSH)

Oh!

Did you see that? Yeah. You?

Yeah. Oh!

That's solid rock.

I got a feeling.

Luigi, forget it.

Gotta go with it.

Forget it. It's rock.

Look down there. Luigi!

Luigi!

I don't believe this.

Ugh!

Er...

Ash! Agh!

(SCREAMING)

Mario!

I disintegrated. Am I still here?

What is this place?

There she is. Come on! Hurry up. Run.

Where are you taking me?

Back to where you belong.

You're hurting me! I'm gonna k*ll 'em.

No, you're not gonna k*ll 'em. Not if I get there first.

I'm gonna break every bone in their body.

Then I'm gonna k*ll 'em. I'm really gonna k*ll 'em.

I- Help me! Daisy! I'm coming!

Get off of me! Excuse me.

You better not hurt her.

Excuse me. Sorry, excuse me.

Shuttle to Koopa Union is cancelled. Passengers transferring to the Square...

Get outta my way!

MARIO: Where the hell are we?

This is crazy. We're under the river, but this can't be Manhattan.

Where is this place?

LUIGI: I don't know. I ain't been to Manhattan in a couple of weeks.

Must've been a bad couple of weeks.

DAISY: No!

There she is! Daisy!

Luigi?

Daisy!

Luigi!

Mario! We're coming.

You better not hurt her. Come on, somebody, do something.

Somebody stop her!

Daisy! Are you a cop, or what?

Move on. Come on, let's go.

Agh!

Are you OK?

I'm OK, yeah. You're the one without the padding.

Yeah, well, you're the old one.

Oh, my God! Look at that. Watch out!

Ugh! Let's go.

Excuse me.

It's all sticky. Yuck!

Smell this! Smells really good!

Get away from my baby! Get away from my baby!

What is this place? I don't know.

This is crazy.

Where are we?

I don't know. Maybe we got knocked unconscious for 100 years and woke up in Manhattan of the future.

Maybe the Bronx of today.

No wonder they tell you never to come up here.

Mario, I got a feeling.

I got a feeling we're not in Brooklyn no more.

Where you goin'? Hey!

(GROWLS)

Look at this place. Pathetic! It gets worse every day.

It's disgusting.

The humans on the other side have a world full of resources.

Ready for the taking. I know.

Imagine it. An endless supply of food, clean air, water.

And what are we stuck with?

This... pit hole of germs everywhere, fungus.

65 million years we've been exiled here after the meteorite struck.

While mammals roam free in the other dimension.

Well, not for long.

When you get your rock.

When I get the princess.

Princess?

I need the rock, and the Princess Daisy and I'll finally be able to merge our world with theirs and get rid of the mammals.

It's everything you've hoped for, everything you've worked for.

Excuse me, cousin. Hello, morons.

Hello! Hello!

I captured the princess.

She's being defungussed.

But I took her through the gateway. I recognised her.

He couldn't tell one mammal from another.

Good. Now, where's the rock?

Rock, sir? Rock?

The meteorite piece that she wears around her neck and I told you not to forget it.

That rock! I told you not to forget it.

And I told you to remind him.

Without that piece the meteorite lays dormant.

I'll not be able to merge the dimensions.

Where is it?

The plumbers took it.

Plumbers?

Plumber alert.

Plumber alert.

That's right. The Koopa man is looking for a couple of plumbers.

And there's a big coin reward. 2,000 gold Koopa coins.

Guess he must have a serious plumbing problem.

20 Koopons, spiny burger here.

Fried tweeter, only 20 Koopons. You like little wigglers? 15.

Hey, listen, if we're gonna eat in this place we're gonna have to be very hungry.

Excuse me, lady, can you tell me where I am?

Yeah, you're in my way, egg suckers! Who are these people?

Are you boys new here in town? Lady, we're looking for somebody.

We're from Brooklyn. Yeah.

You know, it's very dangerous in this neighbourhood.

You shouldn't wander around without a w*apon.

Yeah.

You got one?

No.

All right.

Get 'em up, suckers! Koopa coins.

I need Koopa coins, you lame-os.

Well, this outta do it. Don't, don't touch that!

Just fine. That's not even ours.

Hey!

Let me go!

Where're you...? Put me down!

(SCREAMS)

Rats!

You wanna give us the rock back, lady?

Come and get it, big boy.

Hey! Hey, guys-

Cheer up! Things could get worse.

♪ Ain't got no water anywhere

♪ Food's scarce, so's the air

♪ Got no resources, in a great big stupor

♪ All because of the evil King Koopa ♪ Agh! You know the law, Toad.

Hey, wait a minute. You can't arrest a guy for just singing a song.

For anti-Koopa songs we can.

Aha! Plumbers!

No, he is. I'm just apprenticing.

Get in the car. But I didn't do anything.

Are you telling us you can arrest a guy for being a plumber?

Get outta here! Get in there, plumber!

Hey, what is this? What did we do?

I'm getting arrested for being a plumber.

Write his number down.

Stop pushing me! ls that Daisy?

Daisy! Daniella?

Daisy, you too!

Daniella! Daisy!

Are you OK? What's going on?

I don't really know.

There's this guy, his name is Koopa, and he's looking for this princess.

I guess none of us here fit the bill.

You boys ain't from around here, are ya?

Brooklyn.

Whoa!

(SCREAMING)

(ALL TALKING AT ONCE)

Hey! What are you doing?

MARIO: Don't we get a phone call?

Name? Mario.

Last name.

Mario.

OK, what's your name? Luigi.

Luigi Luigi?

No. Luigi Mario.

OK, look, how many Marios are there between the two of you?

There's three. There's Mario Mario and Luigi Mario.

Mike. Mike!

Help these Marios around the side.

Stop pushing me around.

Prepare to be defungussed. I'm not going in there.

Agh!

Hold still.

It's cold! Agh!

What is this?

Let's go. Move it! Come on!

That way. Let's go.

What was that?

The fungus unit. The fungus is choking the city.

Move! Move!

OK, through the gate, through the gate.

Move it! Go! Go!

Come on! Come on!

Hey, Mario, look! I grew an inch.

What's that?

What's that red...? Oh my God! Oh no!

Oh no!

Agh! Agh!

Are we dead?

♪ How, how, how

(PLAYS HARMONICA)

♪ Sitting here in cramped detention

♪ We're brothers from another dimension

♪ Thinking about my... ♪ What's another word that rhymes with dimension?

Yeah, tension, and I'm full of it, so shut up.

Wait a minute. What did you mean "another dimension"?

Did you mean our worlds have crossed over or something like that?

Sure, kid. You know, according to history, a long time ago, big meteorite came, blasted our universes into parallel dimensions.

You know what else I think? All that fungus out there, that's our old king.

It's true. He's been de-evolved.

That's right. He's been de-evolved into fungus and now he's wreaking his revenge on the city.

Mario Brothers. Yeah, that's us.

You better get a lawyer and get us out of this chicken coop.

Yeah, me too!

You got one.

I got 'em. Let's go. Come on.

Just let me do it. Shut up!

Boys! Boys! Sit down.

How's prison?

You look like hell.

I'm...

Larry Lazard of Lazard, Lazard, Conda, Dactyl and Cohen.

Who sent you?

Are you from the city?

No, I'm from that little part of all of us that can't stand to see someone else in need or in pain.

I bet. Who's this Koopa clown?

We gotta talk to that goofball now.

I don't think you wanna do that.

Why? Why not?

That Koopa clown... Yeah?

...is one evil, egg-sucking son of a snake.

Now... where is that meteorite piece?

The what?

(RASPING)

(GROWLS)

You know what I'm talking about!

Agh! No-one touches President Koopa.

You're Koopa? You just said you were one evil...

One evil egg-sucking son of a snake.

Did I lie?

Take these two plumbers to the devo chamber.

I'm all right. Come on.

(BUZZING)

What a lousy chamber.

Ever since Koopa took over.

And you, Koopa!

You're a lousy leader.

One thing I cannot stand is naysay.

Simon, de-evolve him now.

(ROBOT VOICE) De-evolve!

Cretaceous.

Our old king - you tried to get rid of him, but the king is everywhere.

You can't get rid of him. See you later, alligator.

Ever!

(SCREAMING)

You may think of evolution as an upward process.

Things evolve from primeval slime, up to single-cell organisms, up to intelligent life.

De-evolution, of course, works the opposite way.

Back to simpler forms, for instance, even our musical friend Toad can become... a loyal child of the royal family.

Goombas.

Why d'you do that to him? No, no.

Not now.

What single-cell organism did you evolve from?

Tyrannosaurus Rex, the lizard king, thank you very much.

Goomba! Whereas my evolution was wonderful and sweet, your de-evolution will be a living nightmare if you don't tell me where that meteorite piece is.

That's Toad? Yes.

Loyal, lethal...

...stupid.

(LAUGHS) Goomba!

Walk tall! Be proud!

Go, Goomba!

Join the goombas!

Agh!

Guards! Guards! Arrest these plumbers.

De-evolve Jurassic.

You're going back where you belong, lizard.

Help me! Help me!

Keep going. Got it.

Yeah! Let's get outta here.

I'll k*ll that plumber!

(ALARM BLARING)

We're back at the police station.

Hey, Mario, look at this. These little mushroom things on the fungus.

Great. A building with athlete's foot!

Hey, look at that. What is that?

Goombas. Come on, let's go!

Look, he was trying to give us that thing.

Swing! Keep swingin'.

I'm swingin', I'm swingin'!

Just keep hanging. Close your eyes.

Hey! Look at these dudes.

Yee-ha! Whoo!

Hang on.

Hey, man, this is fun!

What was that? Get ready.

You ready? I'm ready, I'm ready.

Whoo!

Yeah, yeah!

(SCREAMING)

Let go! Now!

Right. Which door?

My instinct tells me this one.

Let's go in this one.

Come on. I'm coming.

Here we are.

They got us. What are we gonna do?

Number one - we steal this car.

Number two - I'm driving.

All right, whatever. Come on!

Wait for me. Don't take off.

OK. Let's see what I got over here.

Where's the starter on this thing?

I got a feeling about this, Marioroni.

I don't believe you can do that.

Comes from sitting on my butt all day playing video games, that's why.

Got it. Let's get outta here.

Let's hit the bricks.

Hey!

(SIRENS WAILING)

Security alert. Stand by for special bulletin.

Mario, look!

You look terrible.

You don't look so good yourself.

Alien species escaping from police detention...

Aliens? We gotta deal with aliens too?

Luigi, we're the aliens!

We are? Whoa! Cool!

Hey, Mario, you're going the wrong way.

How would you know? Trust me.

You're driving like a maniac. Would you watch it?

You wanna drive?

I'm not riding with you any more. OK, you drive.

No! What are you doin'?

How are you steering this? I'm not.

I hope the guy downstairs knows where we're going.

Hey-hey! This is driving!

Cool, man!

(SIREN WAILS)

Brace yourself!

(SHOUTING)

BOTH: Glug-glug-glug-glug!

Which way?

Take the Parkway. Right.

Perfect, perfect!

You said the Parkway. I know.

But I wanted the tunnel so I said Parkway cos I knew you'd go the opposite way I suggested.

Hey, watch it! What are you doin'?

Warning - leaving power grid. Powering down.

I can't stop this thing.

I can't see where I'm going. Look out, Mario!

Use the brakes. There are no brakes.

Do something! This fungus is going to k*ll us!

We're gonna hit the end of the tunnel!

(SCREAMING)

(BOING)

Hey, was that superior driving skills or what?

Let's get outta here before this fungus stuff eats us alive.

The fungus just saved us.

What are you talking about? It was my driving that saved us.

It wasn't your driving. The tunnel just sneezed us out and this giant bogey caught us. That's what saved us.

Ah! Come on! Let's get outta here.

Excuse, sir! Excuse me, sir.

Sorry?

Sir?

I'm sorry, we didn't meant to disturb you but the plumbers are in the tunnel. They're on their way to the desert.

What are you doing here instead of being in the desert heading them off?

That's exactly what I told him, sir. Exactly what I told him.

Between you and me, Spike hasn't got a thought in his brain.

Ah! Ah! He's a liar, sir.

Between us, Iggy doesn't have a brain in his head.

I agree.

They're your relatives.

Wait outside.

We'll wait outside.

Lena, bring me the princess and have her cleaned up.

Do you know what I love about mud?

It's clean and it's dirty at the same time.

The princess.

Are you here to help us?

Hardly.

Now let me guess which one of you is Daisy.

Princess Daisy.

Princess? What?

Princess Daisy? This is gettin' weird.

Oh. You have your mother's eyes.

Come with me.

Goodbye, Spike. I'm gonna miss ya.

Have a nice trip. See you next Fall.

Evolve.

Advanced.

Good choice, cousin. I always thought he'd make a great goomba.

Bye. Spike.

(CRIES)

Ah! It's our benevolent dictator.

As it were.

Ignatius, do you know what the square root of 26,481 is?

What are you talking about?

191.

What are you doing? Not me!

Not me, cousin, not me!

Spike! Help me, Spike!

Perhaps if I could just make you idiots smarter, you won't screw up this time.

Please! Not me, cous, no!

(SCREAMS)

Oh my!

How peculiar!

Quite an agreeable transmogrification.

More like a transfiguration.

Ah! A super metamorphosis. Mm.

Enough! Both of you, go to the desert.

Excuse me, excuse me, that hardly seems logical.

Perhaps we should stay and formulate our own strategy.

Téte a téte, inner circle, that sort of thing.

Here's what's logical to me.

If you do not return with the plumbers and the rock...

...l shall personally k*ll you.

We're going. After you, Ignatius.

It was your mother's.

What do you know about my mother?

She was quite an inspiration.

To some.

When Koopa took over, she stole the rock and smuggled you to the other side.

Then she d*ed.

What about my father? ls he alive?

It depends on what you mean by living.

What are you talking about?

Listen to me.

I don't care whose daughter you are.

Koopa thinks you're the only one who can merge the dimensions.

I have waited too long to let all this slip away.

You said the tunnel.

I did not. I said Parkway.

But you meant the tunnel.

Go on, pick a direction. Any direction you like.

(IMITATES MARIO)

That looks good, I'll go there. That's it - let's die there.

Are the goombas training with the hand-held de-evolution g*n?

As we speak, sir.

Excellent.

After the merge, it will be nice to see the humans de-evolve, won't it?

What is it that they come from? I keep forgetting.

It's mice or something. Apes, sir, monkeys.

Disgusting mammals! Pah!

Your princess is here.

My, my. Looks like you got up on the wrong side of the nest this morning.

(SQUAWKS)

(SQUAWKS)

(SQUAWKS)

(SQUAWKS)

You're a... Go ahead and say it.

Dinosaur.

(SQUAWKS)

Yoshi is a pet of the royal family. You may pet him.

Just don't move your hands around like a small wounded animal.

You must be the great Koopa.

That I am.

Ruler of all that you see.

A few miserable streets and endless desert.

You've done a lovely job.

Well...

...thank you.

Where's my father?

Ah!

Mm.

He's around.

You're so fresh.

And so clean.

Don't fight it.

You know you've always been uncomfortable in the human world.

You've at least suspected that you were...

...different.

I have suspected a lot of things but not that I...

That you descended from the dinosaurs.

And you know what they say about little girls, don't you?

No. -Mm?

They say... they never forget the first time they're kissed by a lizard.

Agh!

Take her away.

I'll need to... use her later.

Throwback!

Plumbers!

Affirmative!

Come, come, quickly!

Quickly, after them, cousin! I'm with you, cousin!

Go forward!

That way, cous.

Go right, go right! Agh!

(CRASH)

Ah! Ah! In the name of King Koopa...

BOTH: We arrest you.

Surrender immediately.

(DINOSAURS SQUEAKING)

If you two don't start talking, we're gonna leave you to these guys for lunch.

Now, where's Daisy?

No, no, no. Where's the rock, scallywag?

Where's Daisy, butt-breath?

Where's the rock, over-weaning rogue?

Not until you give us Daisy, biscuit-head.

Where's the rock? Shut up!

Now...what's with this rock?

The rock is a piece of a special meteorite which was chipped off upon impact 65 million years ago.

Yes, you see once this rock is reinserted into the meteorite, our two dimensions will reunite and we will become one.

Then our cousin Koopa shall become ruler of both our worlds.

I don't get it.

Why didn't he just come through before like you clowns?

You fool! It's been sealed off for years until someone on your side blasted it open again.

Scapelli.

What if we get you the rock? Will you get us Daisy?

Yeah, yeah.

Yes, I think that proposal would mutually benefit both our parties.

Yes, OK, now hand over the rock.

Someone took it.

By the bar. That lady with the red spikes who mugged us...

Was she corpulent? Very corpulent? No, she was just really round.

Aha! Big Bertha, the bouncer at the Boom Boom Bar.

(SQUEAKING)

(SQUEALING)

Hey! Don't do that. You'll hurt yourself.

Oh!

(LAUGHING)

I guess we're both prisoners here, huh?

Look, sniff-its. We'll hijack a sludge gulper and drive into the city.

Then what?

First we get the rock then we'll take you to Daisy in the tower.

Get your wrench.

Oh, man! I lost all my tools.

Ah! Come on, let's go.

Come on, what are you waiting for?

It's clear. All clear.

We did it.

Yeah! I'm brilliant!

For mammals, you guys are quite acceptable.

(MUSIC PLAYS)

Isn't this a little bit feminine?

Yes, I know. It was my ex-wife's.

But you wear this stuff?

Yes, on occasion we have a date.

Who are you dating? A canary?

♪ T ain't no big thing

♪ To wait for the bell to ring

♪ T ain't no big thing

♪ The toll of the bell... I'

Bring the tags back. Thank you.

♪ Aggravated, spare for days

♪ I stroll downtown to the red light place

♪ Jump up, bubble up, what's in store

♪ Love is the drug and I need to score... I'

Look for the red spikes.

♪ Showing out, showing out, hit and run

♪ Boy meets girl where the b*at goes on... a'

Hi.

You're looking for those plumbers?

Well, I think I spotted them.

My friend, to the downfall of Koopa.

The sooner the better.

♪ Love is the drug I'm thinkin' of... a'

Hey, there she is. Where?

Up there.

J' Love is the drug for me... J' Leave this to me.

No woman can resist the charm of a Mario.

Hey!

The name's Mario.

I'm your main man, Ramadan, your can of Spam.

LUIGI: You all right? You OK?

Maybe she's a little shy.

Excuse me, will you hit me again?

I've never seen such fluidity.

The way your knuckles crunched as you smashed them into my face.

Dance with me. I'll hit you all you like.

All right. That's it, Mario. Go, Mario!

(MUSIC CHANGES TO SLOW NUMBER)

(I CHARLES & EDDIE: I Would Stop the World)

♪ I would stop the world for you, babe

♪ I would stop the things I do

♪ If I knew you loved me too

♪ I would change my whole world over

♪ I would fade my history

♪ If I could see your future with me

♪ I'd like to open the door, baby

♪ Blue skies don't last for ever

♪ Sunshine's so hard to believe in, baby

♪ I would stop the world for you if I knew you loved me too

♪ Stop! Sure love you, baby... a'

(MUSIC CHANGES)

♪ Goom, goom, acka lacka lacka goom... I'

You did it!

♪ Goom goom acka lacka goom goom... a'

Come!

♪ It was a night like this

♪ 40 million years ago... ♪ What are we gonna do?

OK, here it is.

Unhook, scramble and have faith, OK? Yeah.

- I' The sun was spitting fire... I' Get them!

OK, 24... hup!

♪ I walked a dinosaur

♪ I walked a dinosaur

♪ Open the door, get on the floor Everybody walk the dinosaur

♪ Open the door, get on the floor Everybody walk the dinosaur

- ♪ Open the door, get on the floor... ♪ Liberate! It's not too late!

She's got the rock. Get it later.

(SQUEAKING)

Mmm.

♪ Goom goom acka lacka lacka goom.-. ♪

In here.

♪ That night we split a rattlesnake and danced beneath the stars... I'

How we gonna get outta here?

Use the stompers.

Put in a cartridge. Click your heels together.

♪ Dinosaur... ♪ Over here, pudgy buns.

Come on. There's no time for that now. Come on!

Thanks.

(LAUGHING)

Look, look! Look, another one!

Wait, Mario, I think it wants me to take it.

Stop fiddling with the fungus, and let's get outta here.

There they are. Get 'em!

Cops! Goombas!

Daisy! The rock!

The tower!

A Sludge gulper. Jump! OK!

What a way to go to Koopa's tower.

You wanna wait for a bus?

How are we gonna get in there?

I got two words for you, im-possible.

Nothing's impossible, Mario.

Improbable, unlikely, but never impossible.

I hope you're right.

My my!

You have let yourself go.

See? I'm not such a bad guy.

You always wanted to be everywhere. Well, now you are.

I wanna tell you something.

You can go ahead and choke this little mushroom kingdom all you want.

Cos I'm outta here.

I'm out into the bigger world.

I got a couple of plumbers bringing me the rest of the meteorite.

Soon to be dead plumbers, and by the way, you really outta try to pull yourself back together again.

Slime bucket!

Whoa! Whoa!

Whoa!

Eugh!

MARIO: Oh my God!

LUIGI: Daisy's in there somewhere, I know it.

MARIO: Where do we start?

Python Pizza here. May I help you?

King Koopa here. Oh, yes, sir.

I'd like the Koopa Special.

Pterodactyl tail on that? Yes.

Dino, lizard, hold the mammal, no worms, and...spicy.

MARIO: Look at this. It's a plumber's nightmare.

These pipes haven't been serviced for years.

Must've been a non-union job.

Luigi, lock all four of these valves.

What? It's the heating system.

Ow!

Treat your tools like a friend. Keep 'em by you.

Never let 'em down, and they're always at your side.

Hey, Mario, how come in every situation that can possibly come up, you always got a saying about tools, huh?

I got 'em from Poppa. He got 'em from Grandpoppa.

We'll freeze 'em. Keep 'em busy while we make our way up.

How can we do that? We can't just take an elevator.

We gotta do something. We tripped the alarm. What do you think I am? Stupid?

Yes. How we gonna get up? Huh?

Like Marios.

(ALARM RINGING)

Haha!

Ingeniously.

Come on.

Glug-glug-glug- glug!

Look out!

Elevator ingenious, Mario! Ingenious!

I think you ought to know that Iggy and Spike have been preaching your overthrow at the Boom Boom Bar.

Really? I am very disappointed in you, cousins.

Fascist! Oppressor of the Proletariat!

Guy in charge!

Egg sucker!

k*ll them!

Koopa, we need to talk. I want you.

This is hardly the time and place for that, Lena.

I didn't mean that. What I mean is I think we can do this together. I can help you.

I have just found out that I have saboteurs in the tower.

I still do not have the meteorite piece.

I am about to lose everything.

We can talk about this later, if later even occurs.

What you care about is her.

What I care about...is the future of our species.

Very well then.

If not with you... then on my own.

(WHISPERS) Now what are we gonna do? I don't know.

Listen...

(SINGING)

What? Trust me.

What are you...?

(FRANKIE YANKOVIC: Somewhere My Love)

One, two, three. One, two, three. One, two, three.

(DOOR OPENS)

For me?

I'm a vegetarian.

I don't eat anything with a face.

I am kinda hungry though.

Any chance of a plate of steamed vegetables?

Am I interrupting?

Out!

Lena, look, I know you don't want me here.

So maybe...

I like this room. Don't you?

It used to be my office, you know, until I got promoted.

Koopa needed me close by, you see.

Lena, will you help me get out of here?

Well, I think yes.

I'd love to get you out of here.

Why are you doing this?

Because everyone deserves what they've earned.

And I've earned this.

(SCREAMS)

(MUSIC STILL PLAYS)

(SHOUTS)

(SHOUTS)

(MEN SHOUTING)

YOU?

Yes, it's us. Your most royal highness, please... ls it possible you could assist us in escaping?

Help! Help us please!

Help! (SCREAMS)

Spikosaurus, follow me!

Where are you going? I have to help him.

Stand still.

You stay. I'll go.

OK, I'll stay, you go.

You stay and I'll go. OK, I'll go.

Allow me.

I hope he's all right.

Princess Daisy, we've always been your loyalist supporters.

We've been with your father since his demise.

My father? What do you know about my father?

Come with us.

(COUGHING)

You tell her. No, I think you should tell her.

All right. We'll both tell her.

Daisy, I think this may come as something of a shock.

Daisy, may I present to you...

...your father.

The fungus.

Koopa's first victim of de-evolution.

This is my father?

Yes.

Perhaps at this moment of delicacy...

A delicate moment...

A retreat is in order. An ordered retreat.

Those that fight and run away... Live to fight another day.

How did you know they'd do that?

Cos everybody loves to dance, that's why.

A dancing lizard like dancing crocodiles. Oh!

Oh wow! Oh man!

Oh, I hate heights.

How are we gonna get across?

I can make it. I got a good feeling. You're not gonna jump.

Come on. Somebody's gotta do it. I don't got no choice, right?

Luigi, this is not Miraculous World. I gotta go for it.

Agh! " Luigi!

I'm flying, Mario, I'm flying!

Come on. I told you. All you had to do is trust. Come on.

Let's do it. Come on. Just have faith. Jump.

You're flying. Come on, Mario. Just trust. Jump.

Come on. OK, OK.

OK. Just... OK. Come on.

No, wait, Mario. Don't jump. It's not...

I'm not flying. It's just a...hook.

Agh! Mario!

Oh, Luigi! Oops!

Sorry!

Mario, I got you.

Luigi, I'm alive.

Good catch, huh, Mario? I should try out for the Yankees.

I'd high five you, but then you'd be an only child.

Let's go get Daisy.

Let's swing over there, yeah?

Go with me. OK.

My father?

What have they done to you?

Can you even hear me?

Yoshi!

Look what she did to you.

Mario? Daisy!

Luigi?

Mario!

It's Daisy. Daisy, we're comin'!

Let's get you off.

Luigi, Mario, can you hear me?

Daisy, where are you?

I'm in Devo 4.

Daisy.

Oh, man, it's cold.

It's working. It's freezing up. Great!

Hey, Mario, did you see that?

What? It's trying to communicate.

Luigi, it's a mushroom. Come on.

(SHOUTS)

DAISY: Luigi, here!

Come back. In here. This way. There she is.

Good news, sir. The troops are in place ready to de-evolve the mammals.

Place ready to what? Now?

Who ordered their deployment?

You did, sir. Lena relayed the command. We carried it out immediately.

Lena?

She has the rock.

Arrest her!

Daisy! " Luigi!

Let's get out of here. This place is crawling with giant lizards.

Wait, listen. I know this is going to sound a little strange but...

I want you to meet...

...my father.

Come on. Dad.

Oh man. Well, at least he was my father.

He used to be the leader here, until Koopa turned him into all this...fungus.

Oh, man! Well...

Well, it's an honour to meet you, sir, and a pleasure and I just wanna thank you for all your help.

Come on, Luigi, you'll be talking to the mildew in the shower next.

Mario, don't you see? It's been trying to help us all along, giving us the little things, when we were hanging there.

Come on. He wants to clobber Koopa too.

How's Daniella?

Is she all right? Daniella!

I promised to take her to Wrestle Mania.

You mean you don't know?

What?

She's in the goomba barracks on the 51st floor.

Come on, we need to help! Hi-di-ho, mammals.

Goombas!

If you touch her I'll k*ll you.

I'll meet you in the playground after school.

You m*rder*r!

Now, your father's still...hanging around, isn't he?

Prepare for the invasion, and ready the troops.

We're going down.

Station closing. m*llitary personnel only.

Station closing. m*llitary personnel only.

Hey, you. Open UP-

Restricted area. No unauthorised personnel.

Restricted area. No unauthorised personnel.

Agh!

Greetings from Koopa.

Agh!

Ah, the rock.

Can't we get some blankets.

Yeah, we're freezing.

Look, the point is we're freezing here.

They are not going to believe this at work.

This is a violation of our civil liberties.

Can't you get somebody to fix the heating?

How can they let us suffer like this? What are they? Cold-blooded?

Yes, moron. They're reptiles. Well, just because they're reptiles...

(MOUTHS WORDS)

(MOUTHS WORDS)

Angelica, come here.

Don't say anything, but my boyfriend Mario's right up there.

What? Shh!

(SHOUTS) Hey! Mario!

What are you doing here?

Yam Oh, Mario, I knew you'd come for me!

You betcha! Yes! He did it!

Honey, listen. Get that mattress, the goomba mattress. Take it over there.

Come on, girls. Get the goomba mattress. Pick it up, get that side.

Move it, move it.

Come on. Bring it over here.

Very good!

Hey! You must be the missing girls from Brooklyn.

Except Angelica - she's from Queens, but she's all right.

Hey, I'm freezing my butt off here. There's cold air from that air vent.

Yeah, we froze the pipes. We're going for a little ride.

Hail Koopa.

Sir?

I believe you are looking for this.

Excellent. Release Lena.

Princess, ready to help me destroy humankind?

Muster the goombas.

Hand out the de-evolution g*ns. Prepare for destiny!

Where's my pizza?

(SCREAMING)

(SCREAMS ECHOING)

Goombas!

Down!

Duck now!

(ROARING)

Got ya! Yeah!

Devo g*ns ready?

Yeah! Woo-hoo!

Agh!

BOTH: Are you all right?

Are they all right? Right!

Marioroni! Daniella!

Too late, humans.

Sir, your pizza's here.

Not now.

Looks like I win.

Soon you and everyone in your world will all be de-evolved into...

Sir? Sir?

- What is it now? The goombas are dancing again.

Deal with it.

...will be de-evolved into monkeys.

(LAUGHING)

Agh! (CROWD GASPS)

Give me that.

Ah! Yes!

Die, plumbers!

Take my tools and get out of those handcuffs.

Mario! What?

Take my belt.

Trust the fungus.

Trust the fungus.

Look out!

All right! Ya-hay!

Agh!

Yes! Agh!

(SCREAMS)

You wanna rock? I'll give you a rock.

Where's the rock?

Hey!

You looking for this?

Give it to me.

(LAUGHS)

Give me that rock, you monkey. It's mine!

Give it to me!

(LAUGHING)

I'll show him! We've gotta stop her!

Come on, girls, let's go. ALL: Who are you?

Luigi Mario. You got a problem with that?

I don't got a problem. Let's go.

Come on!

My time has come! The universe is mine!

You mammal, you give me that rock!

(HOOTING)

Agh!

My time will come!

The rock will merge our two dimensions. Lena, don't!

You're too late.

You see, I do have the power to merge the worlds, princess.

It's not too late. We've gotta stop her.

All right. Come on, girls. Come on, let's go.

Wait! Where are we going?

Back to where you came. Come this way.

Come and get it, lizard breath.

It's a bob-omb! He's got a bob-omb!

Bob-omb?

(CROWD SHOUTING)

Messed up again, mammal.

All right. Come on.

Come and get it.

Come on.

Come on, rufflehead, let's see what you're made of.

Don't look down!

You've gotta get through and tell everybody.

Go to Brooklyn. Tell them about the invasion and the goombas.

Good luck, Luigi!

It's incredible!

(SCREAMS)

Yikes!

Man, she sure makes an impression.

That's what Koopa meant.

Only I can withstand the force.

Come on.

It's jammed in. I can't get it.

Luigi, we've gotta stop it, we've gotta get it out.

Grab onto me.

Come and get it.

Oh!

It's melting.

We're merging.

You don't have the rock! You filthy mammal!

We're merging!

I'm gonna drill it out.

Give me the wheel puller. It looks like a corkscrew.

This? Yeah.

(BANGING)

Hold on to me, all right?

Look! It's Koopa's tower!

Those guys will do anything for publicity.

Mario?

Ugh! Dah!

It's Brooklyn! My world!

Give me that devo g*n.

What is this?

(SQUEAKS)

Monkey!

Scapelli?

Boss! What did they do to you?

And now, I'm gonna make a monkey out of you, plumber.

Trust the fungus.

What? No!

Bob-omb!

What are you doing? It's OK.

He's a friend.

Mario!

sh**t him! sh**t him!

(PLAYS 'Somewhere My Love')

(WHISTLE)

Stupid!

Agh!

Plumber!

Get those plumbers!

Duck!

(BEEPING)

(SCREAM)

(ALL SCREAMING)

See ya later, alligator.

(CHEERING)

Need a lift? What?

Come on. Get on my feet. All right.

Oh, Luigi! Mario!

I'm back!

Love those plumbers.

It's solid.

All right! Come on. Let's go.

I can't.

You mean you wanna stay?

Until we can get things settled here and... I can get to know my father.

Come on, Daisy. You know how I feel about you, right?

I wanna be with you.

I do too but...

I can't.

She's trying to tell you she can't leave here till she knows where she belongs.

If you loved her, you'd understand that.

And if I had any sense, I'd mind my own business.

OK, come on.

Come on.

It's open. Come on, Luigi.

Come on.

Are these the sounds of a music that comes to us across the vastness of space?

Judge for yourself.

Hey, love the dress. I've never seen it before.

That's what you said last time you saw it, Mr Wonderful!

Luigi, are you gonna stop moping around? Come on.

Luigi, come and eat.

...story of the Mario Brothers.

Mario! We're on The Miraculous World. Hurry up!

...heroes courageously managed to return the missing Brooklyn girls and save a parallel world from a ruthless dictator.

I'd call them the Super Mario Brothers.

Yes! Glug-glug-glug-glug!

(KNOCKING) It's open.

Luigi! Mario!

Daisy!

You gotta come with me. I need your help.

What's wrong?

You're never gonna believe this.

I believe it. You do?

I believe.

♪ Babe

♪ Come in from the cold

♪ And put that coat to rest

♪ Step inside

♪ Take a deep breath

♪ And do what you do best

♪ Yeah

♪ Kick off them shoes

♪ And leave those city streets

♪ I do believe

♪ Love came our way

♪ And fate did arrange for us to meet

♪ I love when you do that hocus pocus to me

♪ The way that you touch, you've got the power to heal

♪ You give me that look

♪ It's almost unreal

♪ It's almost unreal

X He)'

♪ We can't stop the rain

♪ Let's find a place by the fire

♪ Sometimes I feel

♪ Strange as it seems

♪ You've been in my dreams all my life

♪ I love when you do that hocus pocus to me

♪ The way that you touch, you've got the power to heal

♪ You give me that look

♪ It's almost unreal

♪ It's almost unreal

♪ It's a crazy world out there

♪ Let's hope our prayers are in good hands tonight...

♪ I love when you do that hocus pocus to me

♪ The way that you touch, you got the power to heal

♪ You give me that look, it's almost unreal

♪ It's almost unreal, so unreal

♪ Yeah come on and do the hocus pocus to me

♪ The way that you touch, you've got the power to heal

♪ You give me that look, it's almost unreal

♪ It's almost unreal, yeah

♪ It's almost unreal

♪ Do the hocus pocus to me

♪ Do the hocus pocus

♪ It's almost unreal... X

(some FADES)

♪ Goom goom acka lacka lacka goom, Goom goom acka lacka goom goom

♪ Goom goom acka lacka lacka goom, Goom goom acka lacka goom goom.-.

♪ It was a night like this, 40 million years ago

♪ I lit a cigarette, picked up a monkey skull to go

♪ The sun was spitting fire, the sky was blue as ice

♪ I felt a little tired, so I watched Miami Vice

♪ I walked a dinosaur

♪ I walked a dinosaur

♪ Open the door, get on the floor, everybody walk the dinosaur

♪ Open the door, get on the floor, everybody walk the dinosaur

♪ Open the door, get on the floor, everybody walk the dinosaur

♪ Open the door, get on the floor, everybody walk the dinosaur

♪ Goom goom acka lacka lacka goom, Goom goom acka lacka goom goom

♪ Goom goom acka lacka lacka goom, Goom goom acka lacka goom goom... ♪

(some FADES)

Well, I must say we have a very exciting proposal.

A video game based on your many adventures.

What would you call it?

Iggy's World.

The indomitable Spike.

The Super Koopa Cousins!