- Is that what I think it is?
- Oh yes, it is.
- Aww, man.
- Ta-da.
'Kay, so listen up.
Listen up.
When a stranger offers you
drugs, you say thank you.
- Yes.
- You know why?
- You said it.
- Because drugs are expensive.
You said it.
You said it.
- f*ck' wh*re.
Can you maybe not do
this right f*ck' now?
- I'm done, Toby.
- You're ridiculous.
- I'm ridiculous?
All this is completely ridiculous.
You're just a bunch of coke heads.
You're just standing around
flirting with these girls
who are standing there like trophies.
You're disgusting.
- I'm disgusting.
- Yeah, you've been high for two days
and I saw you kissing that girl.
You wanna know what your
friend Mark said to me?
- Yeah, no.
Not really but sure.
Let's go.
- He asked if I wanted to
go for a ride of a lifetime
on his joystick.
His joystick, Toby.
- Are you really gonna f*ck'
do this again, right now?
Yeah, I get it.
You had a shitty childhood.
Shitty.
I had an awesome childhood.
Awesome and I don't understand
why I need to continuously
apologize for that to you
and how you can just lay
blame on everybody else
for your own insecurities, okay?
That's just being a shitty person.
It's f*ck' delusional, all right?
Mark Anderson never hit on
you, I never kissed some girl.
All I know is that it
doesn't matter where I am,
what I'm doing or who I'm with.
You end up being this
jealous f*ck' psycho.
- Could you just lend me some money,
so I have somewhere else to
stay for the rest of the week?
I would appreciate that.
- Seriously, that was your big plan?
You're gonna take off on me
and I'm gonna pay for your
hotel room somewhere else
for the rest of the week?
- I'll pay you back as soon as I get home.
- How the f*ck are you gonna do that?
You can't even afford
your half of the rent.
- Anything else you
wanna get off your chest?
Can you just gimme enough money,
so I can get a cab and I'll manage?
- No.
Hitchhike, f*ck' walk for all I care.
Jade, I love you and
everything, but you're f*cked.
- Que paso?
Is he breathing?
- The hell happened to him?
Jesus.
- So this guy thinks because
he's got his face plastered
across 20 million teenagers' walls,
he can screw us over and tell our clients
to go f*ck themselves 'cause
he's too tired and hungover
to make it to his photo sh**t.
So I ring him up and I get
him on the phone and I say,
"Listen, you little b*tch.
"I don't care if it's your
poor mother's funeral,
"you're making it for your photo sh**t."
I sh*t you not.
I get in the car and I rip across town
and literally kick down the
door to his parent's place.
- 'Cause of course the f*ck
still lives with his parents.
- All right, who's up to bat first?
- I got good
download, so that's on you.
That's on you.
- That's on you.
- C'mon, big fella.
Show 'em what you got.
- Work it, girl.
- Show 'em what you got.
- Work it.
- No mercy.
- Work it.
- No mercy.
- Let's do it.
- C'mon buddy, swing it out.
- All right, check the
wind and make it count.
Here we go.
Here we go, here we go.
- I want a f*cking chocolate.
C'mon, c'mon.
Bring it here.
- Ooh, look at this.
- Look at this, look at this.
- You're outta your f*ck' mind.
- Dude.
- It's 200 miles away.
On these roads, he's gonna bleed to death
before we get to the hospital.
We are not taking him there on our own.
It's a f*cked up, stupid idea.
- All right, bro.
- Hey, what's with the f*ck' attitude?
- The whatitude?
- Oh my god.
- What is the problem?
- You've been in bitchy mode
since the second we left this morning.
It's not my fault you don't
know how to change the tire.
- I changed the tire.
Okay, yeah if by bitchy mode
you mean doin' everything you say
and changing all of my plans
to suit you, then yeah.
Sure, I've been in bitchy mode.
I've been in bitchy mode
for like five months.
- Okay see, that is exactly
what I'm talking about.
You don't get to come here for free
on a trip to tropical paradise
and then whine about
Darcy and his partners
like a spoiled little brat.
- When did I whine about
Darcy and his partners?
- When?
- When?
- Right here.
The text message to Brandon.
- Don't go into my...
- "You're right, Brandon.
"I really should be more grateful
"for this amazing opportunity I get
"to spend the week with my girlfriend
"and a bunch of Hugh Hefner wannabees
"who spend their time
funding plastic surgery
"and buying drinks for
skinny-looking bunnies."
- Don't go in my phone.
You shouldn't go in my phone.
- Skinny-looking bunnies, really?
- It's just lock-worth property.
- You do realize that you clean
windows for a living, right?
- I do not clean windows for a living.
I own 50 % of a window
cleaning business, okay?
And unlike the Magnificent Six over there,
I did not get it handed to me.
I worked my a*s off for this,
unlike you who has
nothing working under you
except for that big a*s
you're always showin' off on Instagram.
It's not a big...
You got a great a*s.
Goddammit.
- It's called the A-sail-o Syndrome.
Sooner you come to terms
with it, the better.
I understand you don't want to admit
you're just like your mother and I.
You're right, Jade.
You're not.
You're much worse than
the both of us combined.
If jealousy was a superpower,
there'd be a whole comic
book collection about you.
You can't mask the pain by dropping acid
and make it all better.
I could hear you begging from a mile away.
- Stop it.
- "Daddy.
"Daddy, what should I do?"
Like the feint squeal of a rat.
That same annoying f*cking noise you make
every time you feel betrayed.
- So how's
things goin' with Jade?
- Yeah, we're not good.
- Man, you brought sand to the beach.
When are you gonna learn your lesson?
- You're seriously gonna give me
relationship advice right now?
- Uh-huh.
All boils down to
four words:
Be more like me.
- 'Kay, there are many
things that I aspire to
and none of them are becoming a manwhore.
- You say that
like it's a bad thing.
- I do respect you.
I mean you're rich, you're successful.
You're always doing sh*t like this.
I mean you seem to sleep with
a different woman every night.
No one talks down to you
or tells you what to do.
- Is that really what you
think my life is like?
- Yeah.
- 'Cause it isn't.
I mean yeah, I get laid a lot.
I do have a lotta toys and cars
and helicopters and jets
and threesomes and orgies.
I forget where I was goin'.
Oh yes, yes.
My life is
way better than yours.
- Jade thinks we need help.
- What,
in quoting a paranoid...
- Hey.
- Ex-girlfriend who's
supposed to make me feel bad?
- She's seeing a shrink, all right?
She's tryin' to get help
and it's not like I'm gonna
wait around for her to do that.
Yeah,.
- But it got me thinkin' that you know,
maybe you and I should do the same.
- It's a waste of time.
I mean do you really
think that blaming dad
or talkin' to some f*ck'
doll version of him
is gonna make anything better?
Forget about it.
It's just not the hand we were dealt.
Look, I won't be all
like big brother on you,
but the bottom line is
we are male wh*res.
Deal with it.
- Wes, you dropped this.
Is that you?
Wes.
Dude.
Feel like this fell
right of you, isn't it?
- Yeah, here, here.
So you're sayin' that
you actually told her
that she could hitchhike
or walk to the airport.
- I'm not givin' that woman another dime.
- That's spectacular.
- Hey, are you seein' this?
- See what?
- Like that up there.
- What?
What am I lookin' at?
- I don't know, man.
I must be trippin'.
- I think what you did is
you looked in your pants
and you realize you have an elf d*ck.
- Elf d*ck?
- Elf d*ck.
- All right.
This is what you got
goin' on in your head,
swimmin' around in there?
- Mike, I just don't think you understand
how hard I worked for this.
- I do.
I do understand and I know
how important it is to you
and I will try and enjoy it.
But next year, next
year we're goin' skiing.
Yeah, we're not going skiing.
- Why do you hate skiing?
- We went through this, okay?
I don't like snow and I don't
think any of my followers
wanna see me wearing a ski
suit, so not happening.
- Don't you just love
planning your vacation
based on your girlfriend's
Instagram followers, Mike?"
I do.
I do 'cause there's nothing
more important to me
than a bunch of fat losers who
think my girlfriend's sexy.
- Okay, you know what?
If this is your idea of
humor, then you can go ahead
and get a ticket home right the f*ck now.
Because out here, nobody is laughing.
'Kay, where are you going?
- I forgot something in the car.
- Okay, well hurry up.
I'll be inside.
- Sure.
- It's gonna be okay.
- That what you told
yourself nine years ago?
- Fine.
It's the drugs kickin' in.
- You're not fine and it has
nothing to do with the drugs.
- I'm fine.
Just gonna relax.
It's gonna pass.
- Yeah, right.
- I hate you.
- I know.
- It's not real.
It's not real.
It's not real.
- It's f*cking real, Jade.
It's f*cking real, Jade!
It's so f*cking real!
- Work it.
Work it, girl.
- Gorgeous.
Look at your long, flowing hair.
I love it, the natural
wind passing through it.
Beautiful.
I love it, I love it.
Yeah, keep it smiling.
Keep it up, keep it up.
Yup, smiling, laughing.
Ooh papi, you're so stupid.
You know, all that stuff.
Yeah, yeah, I love it.
That's good.
Hey Darc, how do you say
I think I'm in love in Spanish?
- You just called yourself a pig.
- That'll make a
woman raise an eyebrow, Harry.
- Yeah, I guess so.
You f*ck.
- You gentlemen hear the latest?
My little brother Toby here
just literally told his
girlfriend to take a hike.
I mean literally, as in hitchhike
and walk to the f*cking airport.
He f*ck' threw her out because
she wouldn't stop bitchin'.
You know, my mom, she used to joke
and call him a little ret*rd
'cause she had him in the 50s.
Well I'll tell you somethin'.
Yeah, he may be a little bit slow;
but much like us,
he'll never let anybody put a
f*ck' leash around his neck.
- Good for you.
But seriously, your brother
says good things about you.
The company could use some fresh blood.
How'd you like to sub in for Harrison?
We're thinkin' of gettin' rid of him.
- Yeah, you might wanna wipe
that smirk off your face, pal.
Fisticuffs, huh?
- Yeah, let's go, bro.
I like it.
- You're pathetic.
He's treating you like
trash and cheating on you.
Everyone knows it.
- It's just a stupid kiss.
Barely counts as cheating, I don't care.
- Oh, but you do care.
That's all you think about.
It's in your DNA.
And in every single one
of our family's psychiatrist reports,
what did the good doctor call it?
Oh yeah, morbidly distrustful.
- You're just projecting
your own self-blame and fears onto me.
I don't care.
- Whatever helps you get
out of bed in the morning.
- Hey, have you seen Toby?
- Toby, Toby, Toby, Toby, Toby.
Yeah, he's a cool guy.
Not cool enough to lend you a few bucks
to get to the airport.
- Why don't you stick around?
You're much better off
out here with us anyway.
- You know, I'm gonna
actually prefer to walk.
Get hit by a car while I'm at it.
But thank you so much for the offer.
Okay muchachos,
who wants to go to town
and hit up the bars, huh?
- I think the girls and I
are gonna stick around
a little while longer.
- Ooh, you lucky guapas.
Darcy, Harrison, vamonos.
- Yeah, let's do it.
- To be honest, they're
sayin' it really feels
like you're goin' Vin Diesel
on us right about now.
- No, bro.
Look, this is basic courtesy, right?
I mean who brought them
back in the first place?
Me.
- No, come on.
You're sayin' there should be ground rules
of finders keepers?
- Yes, that's exactly
what I'm talkin' about.
Cute.
- Anyway in that case,
I got the petite one, okay?
- Are we really
gonna f*ck' do this again
right now?
- If jealousy was a superpower,
there'd be a whole comic
book collection about you.
- That's just
being a shitty person.
It's f*ck' delusional.
- Yeah, he's a cool guy.
Not cool enough to lend you a few bucks
to get to the airport.
- You end up acting like
this jealous f*cking psycho.
Look, I love you and
everything, but you're f*cked.
- Seriously guys, what
does Wes have that I don't?
- 'Bout a foot and a half this way
and about 80 pounds of muscle, bruh.
- Yeah, well keep talkin' like this,
I'm gonna shove a foot and
a half up both your asses.
Yeah, that's right.
- Hi.
- Hey.
- Wait, I know you.
We met before.
You're Toby Hunter's girl, right?
- Was.
You're Tanya's boyfriend.
- Yeah, I don't know.
Maybe breakups are contagious around here.
Where are you goin'?
- Hitchhiking to the airport.
- You're what, seriously?
- Yeah.
- You know that's like 400 miles away.
- Yup.
- The ferry
doesn't leave 'til 8 a.m.
- Yup.
- Wait a minute.
Hey, wait up.
Hey, wait, wait.
I'll come with you.
We'll go in the morning.
We'll get the ferry,
but let's go back to the mansion for now.
- That's very lovely of
you, but no thank you.
- C'mon.
- I appreciate you
tryin' to help and everything,
but you are so much better off
just tryin' to patch things up with Tanya
than spending it with me, so enjoy.
- Why, what's wrong with you?
Are you into roadkill
taxidermy or something?
Do you eat your own
skin, chew your toenails?
That's okay.
- Guys, I'm Jane Goodall right here.
- This is the coolest thing.
- Look at how
he catches it, no problem.
He looks like Jerry Rice.
- Oh god, f*ck.
- Oh my god, this is great.
- Hey.
g*dd*mn, look how close we are.
- I actually just launch
it right into him.
You want it?
- Little f*ck, oh sh*t.
- Hey, you're good.
You gotta relax.
This is the best.
- It's so good.
- This is the coolest thing.
- We're surrounded
by monkeys right now.
- You guys look amazing.
- What're you doin'?
- What do you mean?
I'm filming.
What you guys, you camera shy or what?
As Roosevelt once said...
- Oh no, f*ck off with
your f*cking quotes.
- Don't throw anything.
Dude, just hear me out for one second.
All right, guys?
As Franklin Roosevelt once said,
"There's a better life and a better world
"beyond the horizon."
Now three of us, we've known
this for a very long time now
and to this day, we never
cease to expand our horizons.
And I'm proud of us and I'm
immortalizing the moment,
so shut up.
- All right, you bring up a good point.
I am proud of you.
I'm proud of us.
But we gotta do somethin'
about Harry's shirt.
- Yeah.
Oh good, I thought I was the only one.
- No, this reflects poorly on us.
- Wow, you guys just been saving this up
the whole time, huh?
- Dude, turn it
inside out or something.
- I think you need a few
more holes in that thing.
- Bro, the chicks dig the holes, man.
It makes it look like I got shot.
- Ooh, you're a hero.
- You guys are funny, man.
- Peter Pan's in.
- Yeah, yeah.
- He'd look so hot right now.
- Bring it back.
- Come down off
this rock and say that to me.
- Yeah, no I'm comin'.
Always with the fighting.
- The f*ck was that?
- Guys, c'mon.
Let's go.
Enough games, all right?
Guys, come on!
- All I know is that
it doesn't matter where I am,
what I'm doing or who I'm with.
You end up being this
jealous f*ck' psycho.
- If jealousy was a superpower,
there'd be a whole comic
book collection about you.
- Mommy?
- Yeah, I get it.
You had a shitty childhood.
Now that you call yourself a young adult.
- Mommy.
- And I don't understand
why I need to continuously
apologize for that to you
and how you can just lay
blame on everybody else
for your own insecurities, okay?
That's just being a shitty person.
- I love you, mommy.
I love you, mommy.
- It's f*ck' delusional.
- I love you, daddy.
- Hitchhike, f*ck'
walk for all I care.
- Hey guys, that's far enough!
Let's go!
We're wasting valuable time here, guys.
- Jade, I love you.
I do,
but you're f*cked.
- Look at this, guys.
- Guys, I think I'm in love.
- Bruh, it's like the
third time in three hours.
- Well we still got all night.
- Yeah and I'm recruitin' mode, fellas.
No rest for the wicked, all right?
Just take some notes.
- You're a f*cking c**t, Jade.
Just like your mother.
I despised you when you were 12
and now the mere sight of
your ugly freckled face
makes me wanna puke.
- Hi.
- Hey.
- Wait, I know you.
We met before.
You're Toby Hunter's girl, right?
I guess my deep flirt secret
is my life is not that interesting.
I like to work, I like to travel a lot.
- Where do you work?
- I'm part owner of a
window washing business.
I bought it from the
old man we worked for,
me and my partner.
His sons didn't want it,
so he made us an offer we couldn't refuse.
- That's awesome.
- Yeah?
Thank you.
- Yeah, you're own boss.
That's what we all want.
- Exactly.
Tanya thinks I'm so lame.
- Tanya works for people who tell her
how much to eat and what to wear.
I don't think she has much room to talk.
- So you're not a
fan of models, I take it.
- They're not in my top 10.
- Mike?
- So go on, what
are you so f*cked up about?
You can tell me.
- I think I k*lled my
father and now he haunts me.
- Really?
- Yup.
- Why?
I'm sorry.
- It was a long time ago.
I don't really remember.
I was just a kid.
- That's a lot.
Yeah.
- Do you wanna know what I think?
- Sure.
- I think you need to find
a way to forgive yourself.
You were just a little
kid when it happened,
so it's not your fault.
- You sure you're in the
window washing business?
- Yeah.
But I also think that you can learn
something from everybody,
everybody who passes through your life,
even a lowly window washer.
- That's a load of crap.
- Yeah?
Yeah, maybe.
It's a good line though, right?
It's a great line.
Nailed it.
- Guys, I'm Jane Goodall right here.
- This is the coolest thing.
- Peter Pan's in.
- Yeah, yeah.
- It's so hot right now.
- Bring it back.
- Come down off
this rock and say that to me.
- Yeah, no I'm comin'.
- Guys, c'mon.
Let's go.
Enough games, all right?
Hey guys, that's far enough!
Let's go!
- Harrison!
Harrison.
Harry!
- See, that was the wrong choice.
- It's over, Jade.
But that's exactly what you want.
You want to die.
- Let's call the cops.
- Really?
Again, we're not callin' the cops.
- I don't see another option.
- Really?
You don't see another f*cking option.
Darcy, how do you think
this is gonna play out?
The cops are gonna show up,
they're gonna find half a
million dollars worth of candy.
What, we're all then just gonna high five?
You know, snort a few lines
and then they're gonna help us Harrison?
- What's your suggestion:
We stop lookin' and hope
Harrison shows up in the morning?
- Yes.
f*ck.
- You know, I really wanna be there
when Carmen dry f*ck
your a*s with a cactus.
- sh*t!
- Go.
- Okay, okay.
- Help!
Help.
Mike.
- Dude, what is goin' on here?
What the f*ck?
What the?
f*ck!
You gentlemen hear the latest?
My little brother Toby here
just literally told his
girlfriend to take a hike.
I mean literally,
as in hitchhike and walk
to the f*cking airport.
He f*ck' threw her out because
she wouldn't stop bitching.
You know, my mom, she used to joke
and call him a little ret*rd
'cause she had him in the 50s.
Well I'll tell ya somethin':
Yeah, he may be a little bit slow.
But much like us,
he'll never let anybody put a
f*ck' leash around his neck.
- Hey, have you seen Toby?
- Toby, Toby, Toby, Toby, Toby.
Yeah, he's a cool guy.
Not cool enough to lend you a few bucks
to get to the airport.
Why don't you stick around?
You're much better off
out here with us anyway.
- You know, I'm gonna
have to prefer to walk.
Get hit by a car while I'm at it.
But thank you so much for the offer.
Okay muchachos,
who wants to go to town
and hit up the bars, huh?
- I think the girls
are gonna stick around
a little while longer.
- Ooh, you lucky guapas.
Go.
Stop!
No.
No, no.
No!
Help.
- C'mon, c'mon, c'mon.
- Go.
- C'mon.
- Let's go.
- Goddammit.
Goddammit.
- Why'd you stop?
Don't, Mike, Mike, Mike.
Stop!
Mike?
Mike.
Mike!
Stop.
- Let's talk.
- Let's not, Howard.
Please.
- You're gonna call me dad, not Howard.
And yes, now.
You'll do whatever I tell
you to do until you die.
Is
that really what you want?
- Yeah.
- I'm your daughter, doesn't
that mean anything to you?
- It did, but not anymore.
I'm done crying.
Now all I want is for
you to know how it feels.
They're f*cking with you, Jade.
They wanna traumatize you.
We all want you dead.
You never apologized.
You could've saved me.
- I was 12.
- You knew exactly what she was up to.
- No, I didn't.
And even if I did, what could I have done?
- Run, Jade.
Second she closed that door,
you should've said something.
"Mommy?
"Mommy, why'd you close the garage door?
"The engine's still running.
"Daddy's gonna die."
Truth is
I always knew she did it intentionally.
You couldn't do anything
because you were too weak.
And guess what?
You still are.
You're gonna die, Jade.
Just like me.
Finally.
I hate you.
You're pathetic.
It's in your DNA.
I despised you when you were 12.
And now the mere sight of
your ugly freckled face
makes me wanna puke.
- A friend of mine once asked me
for relationship advice.
"What's the best way to find closure?"
Now there are three types
of people I really hate:
liars, cheaters and relationship experts
who start every sentence
with, "Here's my advice."
But now that I'm safe,
I feel like I've earned my seat
on the here's-my-advice-about-life.
I actually only have two things to say
and both I've learnt from someone
who could've been a great friend.
I really think we can learn something
from absolutely everyone
that crosses our path,
no exception.
Sometimes you
simply have no choice.
You have to do whatever it takes
to get that annoying
boyfriend or that ghost
that's been forever haunting
you to shut the f*ck up.
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Demons Inside Me (2019)
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