♪ Ah ah ah ♪
♪ Ah ♪
♪ Whatever happened to predictability ♪
♪ The milkman the paper boy evening TV ♪
♪ How did I get to livin' here ♪
♪ Somebody tell me please ♪
♪ This old world's confusing me ♪
♪ Clouds as mean as you've ever seen ♪
♪ There ain't a bird who knows your tune ♪
♪ Then a little voice inside you whispers ♪
♪ Kid don't sell your dreams so soon ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪ ♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ There's a heart ♪ ♪ There's a heart ♪
♪ A hand to hold on to ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪ ♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ There's a face ♪
♪ Of somebody who needs you ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ When you're lost out there ♪
♪ And you're all alone ♪
♪ A light is waiting to carry you home ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪ ♪ Ah ah ah ♪
♪ Do be do ba ba da ♪
[instrumental music]
Now, Michelle, stay right here.
Where you gonna go? You're in a baby jail.
[coughs] I'm ready for Stephanie's recital.
Do you think the shirt and tie go?
Well, I think the shirt and the tie should go.
One, two, three, four. One, two, three, four.
Stephanie, you've been rehearsing for three days straight.
You're this close to ballerina burnout.
‐ Stephanie. ‐ Stephanie.
Stephanie.
‐ Stephanie! ‐ Stephanie!
I am not Stephanie.
I'm a swan who's about to kick the bucket.
Mhh.
Oh, God.
There's a dead swan in the living room.
Joey..
...I'm alive. I was just acting.
[gasps] No! Get out of town.
Unbelievable!
Uh‐oh. That's daddy.
I don't want him to see me in my tutu until show time.
Yikes!
Sorry, I'm late.
I was editing my feature on great moments in bowling and I got held up when I couldn't find a second moment.
Oh, dad, after Stephanie's recital we hit the big sale at the fashion mart.
Everything is half off.
Of course, that doesn't save me any money
'cause you'll just buy twice as much stuff, right?
‐ I like your attitude. ‐ 'Ha ha ha.'
It's Saturday afternoon I'm all dressed up..
...and where am I going?
A munchkin ballet.
Uncle Jesse, hot outfit.
Help Joey.
[chuckling]
Very sharp, Joseph.
Where you going after the ballet?
Don Ho's wedding?
[doorbell rings]
[chuckles]
Ciao.
Jesse, it's for you.
How do you know she's not here to see me?
‐ Jesse! ‐ Adrianna, have mercy.
Whoo! Huhu! Whoo!
‐ How are you? ‐ Mm.
If she's here to see you she's very nice to your friends.
Let me introduce you to my roommates.
This is Danny Tanner and this is King Kamehameha.
You guys will never guess where I met this girl.
A PTA meeting?
Close. Skydiving.
[Italian accent] He missed the target and dropped right into my Alfa Romeo.
"Dropped right my Alfa.." I love that!
Anyway, she asked me to come back to her place and it turned out her place was in Rome.
Who would've known?
Come on, I'll make you some Spaghetti‐Os.
Alright.
The guy is amazing.
He takes off, just like that goes to Rome, no toothbrush no clean underwear.
What a life!
Now, that is my fantasy.
You fantasize about having bad breath and dirty underwear?
[Michelle cooing]
Michelle! Hi, Michelle.
Oh, hi!
Say dada.
Say dada.
Say da..
Say blah blah blah.
She's so close. I can feel it.
Say dada. Come on.
[little baby voice] Dada, okay?
Now get off my back.
[telephone rings]
[telephone rings]
Hello.
Really?
The station wants me to cover the game of the week?
That's great!
Um...no, that's not great.
Look, my little girl is having her first ballet recital.
Any chance Stanford and UCLA could delay the kickoff you know, like three, four hours?
[chuckles] Hey, I took a shot.
Alright. Yeah, I'll be there.
You're gonna to miss my recital?
I'm really sorry, honey.
I feel terrible.
It's okay, dad, me and Steph understand you have to work.
But it's great having your dad on TV right, Steph?
Yeah. That part's fun.
I guess this means we're gonna miss the big sale, too.
That's okay, we can go some other time and pay full price.
[kissing]
[kissing]
Can I help you?
I need to talk to you.
Go ahead, talk.
So here's what I'm thinkin'.
I think I need to make some changes in my life.
Bran. Eat more bran.
What I mean by change is..
...more danger more excitement more Adrianna.
I'll be right back.
And I'll be right here.
Heh heh.
Come here, come here, come here.
What do you want?
I want your life.
‐ Were you always like this? ‐ No, I wasn't always like this.
I was like you.
Then I turned four.
I remember, man, my dad got me my first bike.
Sailed into the driveway I ripped off the training wheels packed a bag, and took off to adventure.
If my dad hadn't snagged me I'd have made it all the way to the Dairy Queen.
See? I love that story.
That's what I want. A life without training wheels.
You know something, kid?
I like you.
I think I could give you that life.
But you gotta understand when you're talking about a life like mine you're talking about living on the edge, man.
You're talking about taking risks.
You're talking about..
...buying a new wardrobe.
Are you, Joseph Gladstone ready to make that kind of commitment?
I am ready to be committed.
‐ This is how you do it, right? ‐ Right. Uh‐huh.
And now I get one.
‐ And‐‐ ‐ 'Oh.'
‐ Jesse! ‐ 'Okay.'
Jesse!
What could you possibly want?
How was Stephanie's recital?
She came out, she danced, she died.
Oh, God. I wish I could have been there.
Alright, I rushed home, there's still time to take the girls shopping.
Uh, don't worry about it, I already took care of it, I had to take Joey shopping so I took the girls to the sale, saved you a few bucks.
Oh.
That was nice of you.
Hey, girls, come on downstairs and model your new clothes for your dad, go!
Uh, Jesse, why don't I just wait for you back at the hotel?
(Adrianna) 'And I'll try on' this cute little outfit you bought me.
Bye.
Have mercy.
[D.J. clears throat]
Oh, you're going to love this.
[runway music]
And now, the lovely Donna Jo.
'Donna Jo is sporting that lovely fall look.'
'She's got a tomato‐red hat'
'for that tomato‐head look.'
'And, hey, look at them shoulders, huh?'
Too much, baby. Thank you, Donna Jo.
And now, Stephanie.
The young Stephanie, just back from a show in Milan
'steps out in style in her multicolored print.'
'She's a nice kid'
'but she's got a back problem.'
'Thank you, Stephanie.'
Thank you, Stephanie.
'Thank you, Stephanie.'
Thanks, Steph!
Ooh!
Oh, and now for the latest in the always exciting world of toddler fashion
'the lovely, scintillating Michelle.'
'Michelle is sporting that look that says'
'"Hey, babe. It's the late eighties'
'and I'm loving every minute of it."'
(Jesse) 'Grab her.'
Come here, you little weasel.
Looks like I missed out on a really special day.
[sighs] My little girls they're growing up so fast.
And now, taking a major fashion risk is the ultimate macho macho man Big Joe Stud!
[harpsichord music]
‐ 'Heh!' ‐ Joey!
Shut up, punk.
Joey, you know you actually make Michael Jackson look tough.
‐ Mm, Michelle. ‐ Eldo.
You're gonna to be such a fox when you get older.
Dada.
Jesse, my little girl just called you dada.
Oh, no, no, she didn't call me dada.
She called me, uh, she called me dodo.
Well, here. Here's your dad.
There. Lay a dada on him. Come on.
Hi. Remember me?
Remember? I'm your biological dada.
Come on, you little muppet.
Man, the guy's really asking for a dada.
Can't you give him a dada? Come on.
I'm your Uncle Jesse.
Dada.
I'm not your dad.
Here. Give me the babe.
Dada.
Here.
Hi. It's me, dada!
Dada, dada, dada.
My sweet little baby my own flesh and blood thinks that you two are her father.
Oh, my God!
[instrumental music]
My little baby doesn't have the foggiest idea who I am.
How many of us really know who we are?
This is all my fault.
I'm working too many hours.
I've got to spend more time with my children.
Uncle Jesse bought us these to go clubbing.
Can we keep them, dad?
"Dad". She called me dad.
Oh!
Girls, I am taking all three of you out for father‐daughter day.
Alright, daddy!
She called me daddy, too.
[sighs] Whoo! Pretty darn exciting, huh?
Want to jump that fountain again?
It's alright.
Joseph, we're off the bike.
So, I should let go of you now.
Either that or we have a lot of explaining to do to my parents.
Get off!
Phew.
How'd you like that ride?
Jesse, it was a revelation.
I saw God!
In fact, I think we lapped him.
Alright, man, you got the look you got the feel, now all you gotta do is get on a bike and ride to adventure.
Yeah, baby!
‐ I'm hell‐bound! ‐ Whoa, whoa!
You ain't hell‐bound on my bike.
Nobody rides my bike but me.
You need a bike?
Take your pick.
And if you miss that vroom sound put some cards in the spokes.
You know what you are?
You're a bike tease.
You get a guy all fired up but then you say, "Uh‐uh, no."
Well, I want danger I want adventure I want to ride your pig.
That's "hog".
Alright, Joey.
Once around the block.
Go ahead.
Now, listen, you be very, very careful. You hear me?
[engine revving]
I can't watch this.
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Hold it!
What's your problem, dude?
You got to open the garage door, dude.
Radical.
[instrumental music]
Daddy, why are you making feet movies?
Because I love you and I love your little feet.
What's going on?
Daddy loves me and he loves my little feet.
I want to preserve every minute of your lives.
I'm gonna go brush my teeth.
Do you want to reload?
Wait a minute, D. J.
Girls, I have a surprise for you.
I am not going to work today.
Today is father‐daughter day, part two.
‐ Yay! ‐ 'Yay!'
Wait a minute, dad. How can you do this?
Sunday's your busiest day.
I worked it out.
I'm working New Year's Eve but I worked it out.
This is your day.
We can do whatever you want to do.
What do you want to do?
Can we...take a cruise around the bay?
It's your day.
Then can we go horseback riding?
It's your day.
Then can we buy a big‐screen TV a CD player, and a couple of mopeds?
Why don't I just get you your own MasterCard?
Ooh, it is my day.
[telephone rings]
Hello. Joey!
You've been gone since yesterday.
You get your butt back here right now..
..."Chill out, babe"?
Listen, you little leather‐clad weasel I created you, I can destroy you.
Hello? He..
...I never taught him "chill out".
[instrumental music]
Shh!
Safe.
(Jesse) 'Ho, ho, ho.'
It's your last Christmas.
Tell Santa what kind of tombstone you want.
‐ Jesse‐‐ ‐ I said once around the block.
Once around the block. Where were you?
Jesse, I can explain everything.
Once. You know what "once" means?
Do you know what "once" means?
Hi, girls!
Oh, yeah, like that old trick's supposed to work.
‐ Hi, Uncle Jesse. ‐ Hi, Joey.
Ha ha ha. Hey, girls, how are you?
I was just welcoming home Joseph.
Girls, let's give the boys a moment to get reacquainted.
‐ Ooh. ‐ Ooh.
Ooh.
Alright, speak, geek.
You better have one hell of a story.
Jesse, as soon as I left the driveway your spirit entered my body.
I knew that it was your spirit because my hair expanded.
Alright, alright, quit suckin' up and tell the story.
Then she appeared.
Five eleven, dressed from head to toe in red leather.
And what did my spirit tell you to do?
I threw the babe on the back of the bike popped a wheelie, and said, "Have mercy".
Now, that's my spirit. That's my spirit, see?
Then we cruised into Vegas checked into Caesars.
Hit the crap tables hour and a half later, I'm up $14,000.
Fourteen thousand dollars. That's a lot of money.
And you have a pretty girl..
...did you, uh, you know?
Yep. Got married.
‐ Then it got interesting. ‐ Oh.
We hopped on a jet for the Big Apple.
‐ Helicoptered into Manhattan.. ‐ Very nice.
...where we quickly produced a revival of the Broadway smash "Porgie and Bess".
Mm.
You don't believe a word of this, do you?
Not a syllable.
Well, let's give the truth a whirl.
Okay.
I met a girl who lives just down the street.
Um, she wasn't dressed in red leather.
She had a nice wallet.
So we went to her place, uh, where I did win $14,000..
...in Monopoly money.
Then I fell asleep on her couch.
You believe that, don't you?
Yeah. I have to.
You put a mile and a half on the bike.
[laughs]
Jesse, I'm sorry I was gone so long.
Hope I didn't let you down.
Aw, you didn't let me down.
Now, maybe you didn't have a wild and crazy adventure but you had a cute little..
...adventure‐ette.
‐ And you know what I found out? ‐ Mm?
No matter what I wear or what I'm riding on I'm still gonna be Joey.
And you know something? That's okay.
You're damn right it's okay.
Alright, Big Joe Stud.
Yeah, I guess I am pretty studly.
Okay, out of my way, dude.
Going upstairs to take a bubble bath.
Daddy, I love father‐daughter day.
(Danny) 'Me, too, sweetheart.'
But tomorrow it's back to the real world.
I go back to work and you girls go to school.
Ah, fudge.
‐ Goodnight. ‐ Goodnight.
Great day, huh, Deej?
Yeah, major fun. It was one of the best days of my life.
You don't sound all that happy.
I'm happy, honest.
See? These are happy teeth.
I've known that face since it was the size of a tennis ball.
That is not a D. J. happy face.
Dad, for the last time, I'm happy.
Happy, happy, happy, okay?
Okay.
Uh...Steph?
Honey, I'll bet you want to get yourself a glass of water.
I'm not dumb. You want me to leave.
Something's wrong.
Sweetie, I promise if something's wrong we'll make it all better.
Alright.
But if you need me, I'll be in the bathroom drinking water and waiting.
D.J.?
What's going on here?
You don't have to put on a happy act for me.
It wasn't for you, it was for Stephanie.
Well, Stephanie's not here, honey.
What's going on?
It's just hard being brave for my little sister all the time.
Like when you couldn't take me shopping I felt terrible.
But I couldn't show it because if I did, Stephanie would cry about you missing her recital.
D.J., you are a terrific big sister but no one has to put on an act in this house.
Now, what's bothering you?
I don't know.
Today was so much fun.
You took us horseback riding to the circus, to Marine World but I kept getting sadder and sadder.
What part depressed you the most?
The circus clowns or Shamu?
Honey, maybe you were sad for the same reason I was.
You were sad, too?
A little bit.
Because the more fun we had the more I hated to see it end.
I wish we could have days like this all the time.
I really love being with you.
[sighs] I love being with you, too.
[sighs] But there is no easy answer here.
I know you have to work.
I wish I could be in two places at once but I can't.
[sighs] Mm.
You know, I feel better.
You do?
Yeah, we didn't solve anything but just talking about it helps.
It helps me, too.
And, D. J., I promise, I'm gonna find more time to spend with you girls.
And anytime you want to see me you can always pull me out of school.
Especially if you want to see me during math class.
[laughs]
Now, that's a D. J. happy face.
Uh, come here, little tennis‐ball head.
Hi, honey.
'You may not remember today' but it was one of the best days of my life.
I love you, Michelle.
Goodnight, sweetheart.
Dada.
Yeah!
[theme music]
♪ Ah ah ah ♪
[music continues]