02x21 - 18-5-4

[bunniefuu]

EXT. Daytime

Lisbon and Jane enter the garden, Cho is already on site

Cho: Victim's Noah Valiquette. 32. Lives a few blocks away. The local P.D. says a clown shot him, cut off his finger.

(A stretcher passes next to the small group, Jane takes the opportunity to look at the mutilated hand protruding from the sheet covering the body)

Lisbon: A clown? Which finger?

Cho: Right index.

Lisbon: Any witnesses?

Cho: Yeah, the, uh, convenience store owner heard the shot, caught a glimpse of the suspect taking off. Now I'm thinking that sh**t forced him into the alley, k*lled him in there.

Jane: Did the k*ller take the finger with him?

Cho: Looks that way.

Jane (examining his own hand): Uses for a detached index finger...

Lisbon: Sending a message?

Jane: Hmm.

Un policier en uniforme: You from CBI?

Lisbon: Agent Teresa Lisbon. This is Patrick Jane.

Uniformed Policeman (Ellis Hindon): Ellis Hindon. Glad your office is close. This is a little out of our league. We tried not to screw it up. Preserved the crime scene, canvassed the area for witnesses and put out a description of the attacker.

Lisbon: It sounds like you guys know what you're doing. Why call us?

Ellis Hindon: This is who we picked up off the description.

(Dozens of clowns dressed from head to foot in the street, waiting to be questioned by police)

Jane (smiling): They're all crying on the inside.

[ CREDITS ]

(Clowns everywhere)

Clown with green wig: There was this casting notice online. Said they were holding auditions today for a circus movie sh**ting in Solano County. They were looking for clown talent, specified we should come in costume.

Van Pelt: Was there a name on the ad? Contact information?

Un clown a perruque verte fluo: No, just the address and time. What's your name again?

Van Pelt: Van Pelt.

Clown with green wig: Well, Miss Van P. (pulls out a red paper heart from Van Pelt's jacket pocket) What's this? You've got my heart in your pocket.

Van Pelt: Thanks for your time.

(Van Pelt walks over to Lisbon)

Van Pelt: I hate clowns.

Lisbon: Get in line. Same story?

Van Pelt: They all said they were here for an audition..

Lisbon: Keep up the interviews. Get a solid I. D. on every one of these guys, and then go back to the office and see if you can trace whoever placed the ad.

Van Pelt: Okay. (Beckoning a clown) You. Come here

(Lisbon joins Jane who had moved away)

Lisbon: Where have you been?

Jane (biting into a red apple): Farmers' Market. Delicious apples, if you like that kind of thing. Keeping the clowns, are you?

Lisbon: If the sh**t's here, I don't want him slipping away.

Jane: Too late. He's slipped. These ones are just a smoke screen. I mean, why else would he place the ad? But it's a lovely day, if you want to waste your time talking to clowns.

Lisbon: Uh, we have to. Maybe Bozo made a mistake and got caught here with the rest of 'em.

Jane: You know, I knew a clown once. Catastropho was his name. A card thrower. He could stick the ace of clubs into a melon at 50 feet.

Noah Valiquette: We need to talk to the victim's wife.

Jane: 50 feet. Pshoo! Wow.

INT. Valiquette's apartment

(a young woman, and Lisbon on a sofa, a man on a chair)

DVD on the TV:
"Noah Valiquette: If the zeta-function is defined, for all complex numbers where "s" does not equal 1, then we can

Daphne Valiquette: To your audience, honey. Look at me. Talk to me.

Noah Valiquette: I know you're just trying to help, Daph.

Daphne Valiquette: Tell me more about the zeta-whatever. You can do it.

Noah Valiquette: I'm just not cut out for this.

Daphne Valiquette: You're doing fine.

Noah Valiquette: I'm sorry."

Daphne Valiquette (stops the video): We made this about two years ago, just before we got married. Noah was trying to get a tenured teaching position.

Lisbon: How'd that work out for him?

Daphne Valiquette: Not so good. He has trouble addressing crowds.

Man on chair (Raphe Valiquette): My brother was, uh, a mathematical genius. You know, he finished High School at 15, got his first degree in, like... two years, but he wasn't good with people.

Daphne Valiquette: He was good with me.

Jane (reading the title of a book on a coffee table): "Selected issues in the fourth order differential equations." I guess that was Noah's.

Daphne Valiquette: Yeah.

Jane: And, uh, "Love's Tender Passion." Yours?

Daphne Valiquette: Go ahead and make fun.

Jane: Oh, I wouldn't dream of it.

Daphne Valiquette: No, it's okay. I didn't, I get it. I know how it looks. I'm no brainiac, and if you met him, you'd probably think Noah was king of the geeks. What can I say? I always had a thing for the smart guys. My girlfriends thought I was crazy. But when he opened up, Noah had a beautiful soul. And I was good for him. I helped him with the world.

Lisbon: What did he do for a living?

Raphe Valiquette: Oh, he, uh, published a few papers in mathematical journals, which, uh... well, obviously, do not pay much.

Daphne Valiquette: But he was gonna do fine. I mean, he was always discovering, what do you call 'em? Proofs... And, um, inventing stuff. But one day it would've paid off. I know it would.

Lisbon: And in the meantime?

Daphne Valiquette: Um, we pretty much lived on my waitressing. I think that bothered Noah, because he, um, said he wanted to help out more. Uh, he started day-trading a few months back, but... don't think it went so well.

Lisbon: Why is that?

Daphne Valiquette: I don't know. He wouldn't talk about it.

Raphe Valiquette: Daphne, he never talked about anything.

Lisbon: Well, where was he going this morning?

Daphne Valiquette: Oh, um, a coffee place downtown. Ariel's. Um, he spent most days there on his laptop, um, doing his day-trading stuff. He said he liked the background frequency.

Jane (to Raphe): What's going on with you? I mean, you couldn't sit down. You can't stand still. Guilty conscience?

Raphe Valiquette: No. I... My little brother just died. And he was terrified of clowns, so whoever did this was sick.

Lisbon: Did you know about Noah's thing with clowns?

Daphne Valiquette: Yeah, uh, Noah had his quirks.

Lisbon: Mm. And for the record, where were you this morning at 7:30?

Daphne Valiquette: Uh, I was here, asleep. I worked a late shift last night.

Lisbon: And you?

Raphe Valiquette: Uh, in my car, on the way to work.

Jane: Tough game Noah had going here. He... wasn't playing either of you?

Daphne Valiquette: No.

Jane: Who did he play with?

Daphne Valiquette: Uh, mostly one guy. Uh, Tolman Bunting.

INT. CBI office

(Rigsby on telephone)

Rigsby: Tolman Bunting. He runs a store called "The Puzzle Nook" not too far from the Valiquettes'. Phone records show a lot of calls between the store and the house.

EXT.

Lisbon (on phone): We'll go and talk to him. How's it going with the clowns?

Rigsby: Kenmore P. D. found a clown's outfit on the side of the road about 3 miles from the crime scene. No trace of D. N.A., though.

Lisbon: Well, we'll put the clowns aside for now then, but keep the files nearby, in case we need to go back to them.

Rigsby: Okay, boss. You got it.

In a shop

(Lisbon, Jane, Tolman Bunting, Annika)

Tolman Bunting: Noah's mind was exquisite. A few years ago, I published a book of number puzzles, and, uh, shortly after, Noah e-mailed me. He'd, uh, he'd solved all the puzzles, of course, but he had also found a few logical flaws in two of them. That's when I realized that I had to have a person of his intellectualcaliber in my orbit. Mm, soon after that, we started playing a regular game of chess.

Lisbon: How often did you see him?

Tolman Bunting: Mm... once a month, I'd say, but we, uh, we'd play on the Internet or on the phone, and... (to Jane who plays with a Chinese puzzle) Uh, I think you'll, uh, you'll like that one. It's rather tricky.

Jane: Doesn't this just kinda go like that... Around there... that goes around there... over there like that, and... that's it, right?

Tolman Bunting (blown by Jane's speed): Very good. Yes.

Jane: Hmm. That was fun. (reorders the puzzle and places it back)

Lisbon: Uh, do you know anybody who was angry with Noah or maybe somebody who's held a grudge up against him?

Tolman Bunting: No, no, not at... all, but, see, Noah was a bit oblivious to people's feelings, so sometimes that would come across as rude. But he's honestly the, the, the gentlest person that you can imagine. I, I, I can't fathom anyone wanting to k*ll Noah.

Lisbon: Were you aware that he was coulrophobic? That means that he was afraid of...

Tolman Bunting: Fear of clowns. No, not at all.

Lisbon: You sure?

Tolman Bunting: Quite.

Lisbon: Where were you this morning at 7:30?

Tolman Bunting: I was out for a run.

Jane: Was this the game that you were playing with Noah?

Tolman Bunting: As a matter of fact, it was.

Jane: Hmm. Yeah, I think he might have had you.

Tolman Bunting: You play?

Jane: Oh... a little.

Tolman Bunting: We should have a game sometime.

Jane: That works. I'll open with pawn to C4.

Tolman Bunting: Pawn to E6.

Jane: Knight to F3.

Tolman Bunting: Pawn to D5.

Jane: Declining the gambit. Interesting. Pawn to D4.

Tolman Bunting: Oh, really?

Jane: Scout's honor.

Lisbon: Hmm. Could we get back to the interview, please?

Tolman Bunting: Of course. My apologies. You're gonna regret that open.

Jane: We'll see.

Lisbon: Did you notice anything unusual in Noah's behavior recently?

Tolman Bunting: No. There, there was one thing. When we, uh, when we actually started that game, Noah was quite intent on betting, which he had never done before.

Lisbon: Did you take the bet?

Tolman Bunting: No, I like my money too much. (to Jane) You sure you want to stick with that open?

Jane: Why not?

Tolman Bunting: Knight to F6.

Jane: Knight to C3.

Tolman Bunting: Bishop... to E7.

Jane: Hmm. Your funeral.

Lisbon: Thank you for your time.

Jane: Thank you.

Tolman Bunting: Thank you for stopping by.

Jane: By the way, bishop... G5. Mind your Queen.

(Lisbon and Jane exit the shop)

CBI building, night

(Jane lying on the sofa)

Cho (to Jane): Hey, you got a message from somebody named Tolman. "King side Castle."

Jane (moves the pieces on a chessboard placed on the edge of his desk): Ahh. As he leans toward his doom. Chess, the game of kings.

Cho: Kings with too much time on their hands.

Van Pelt: Hey, boss?

Lisbon: What's up?

Van Pelt: Noah Valiquette's wife said that he was bringing in money by day-trading, right?

Lisbon: That's right.

Van Pelt: Well, they had a little money in the bank, but I checked his Web browser history. There isn't a single trade, so I ran his social, but he's never even owned a stock.

Lisbon: What was he doing then?

Van Pelt: I can't tell. There's a lot of files that seem like random numbers and letters. Every week, he e-mailed a bunch of them to the same address, "Beastslayer 949".

Lisbon: Contact Noah's I. S.P. Make them tell you who Beastslayer is.

Rigsby: Hey, boss? Daphne Valiquette on 2. She sounds freaked.

Lisbon: Daphne?

Daphne Valiquette: You have to come. There's somebody inside my house.

EXT. Night.

(Lisbon, Cho, Van Pelt, arrive at the Valiquette house)

Daphne Valiquette (outside her home): I, I called as soon as I saw the door.

Lisbon: It's all right. Just take it easy.

Daphne Valiquette: I just, I was gone less than an hour. I should've called the police, I know. Um, I, I wasn't thinking.

Cho: How many entrances besides the front?

Daphne Valiquette: Uh, just the back door.

Cho: Got it.

Lisbon: You guys take the front.

Daphne Valiquette: Ohh.

Van Pelt: Somebody forced it open.

(They enter the house, in complete darkness, armed and with flashlights)

Cho: Kitchen's clear.

Rigsby: Bathroom's clear!

Van Pelt: Living room's clear.

Cho: Bedroom's clear. Hey, guys, you need to see this.

Lisbon (lights up the room, revealing a mess): Whoa. Somebody really wanted something.

Van Pelt: Safe in the floor. That's pretty old-school.

Rigsby: That's a high-end sensor lock. It's gonna be tough to bust into.

Cho: I'll call tech services, tell 'em we need a locksmith.

Lisbon: Uh, don't bother. (looks under the bed) I found the key.

Rigsby: No, this type of safe doesn't use a key.

Lisbon: Oh, yes, it does. (finger on the trunk in order to read the print, the trunk is unlocked)

Van Pelt: Mm.

Lisbon: Bag it.

(gives it to Van Pelt who takes it on a crumpled piece of paper)

Van Pelt: Oh. Ew.

Day.

Jane arrives the Valiquette home

(he spots a kettle in the kitchen window...)

(Lisbon, Daphne in the living room)

Daphne Valiquette: You're telling me that somebody k*lled my husband and cut off his finger to get into some safe?

Lisbon: Yes, and this is all we found in there, a chessboard, a comic book and some papers. Have you ever seen this stuff before?

Daphne Valiquette: No.

Lisbon: Did Noah ever mention the safe?

Daphne Valiquette: No. Never. We, this was his house before we got married. I just moved my stuff in. Maybe you can tell, volunteering information wasn't Noah's strong suit.

Lisbon: Well, we think whatever the k*ller was looking for wasn't in the safe. That's why they ripped up the rest of the house. {his phone rings) Would you excuse me?

Daphne Valiquette: Yeah.

Lisbon (answering the call, stands up and walks away): Lisbon.

(In the kitchen, Jane pours hot water into a cup, looks around the kitchen, noses into cupboards)

Lisbon: Jane! (Jane goes into the bedroom, where Lisbon called him from) Cho got in touch with Valiquette's I. S.P. "Beastslayer 949" is Alec Mosca. He lives 15 miles away. Cho and Rigsby are on their way now.

Jane: Splendid.

Lisbon (joining Daphne in the lounge with Jane): Did Noah have any other hiding places?

Daphne Valiquette: Maybe. Yeah, sure. I don't know. I mean, I feel like I don't know anything anymore. I mean, how many secrets did he keep? Why, why put all this junk into a safe?

Jane: Well, it's not all junk. This is a "Spider-man" 46. In this issue, he takes on the Shocker. It's very good. Worth a pretty penny. But what I find is interesting, is that the chess set that your husband has set up on the table is expensive, and this one, on the other hand, is made in China, not so expensive. So one has to wonder why he had the cheapo set hidden away so carefully, unless... (shaking the pieces one after the other) There's something inside. Locker key. Locker 42. I wonder where that is.

In a city center building

(Rigsby and Cho)

Rigsby: It's this one?

Cho: Yep.

Alec Mosca: Yeah?

Cho: Alec Mosca?

Alec Mosca: Why? Who are you?

Cho: Agents Cho and Rigsby, CBI. Please open the door.

Alec Mosca: Who?

Rigsby: CBI, sir. Let us in.

Alec Mosca: Uh... sure. CBI, no problem. Uh, look, I'm in my skivvies, so, uh, give me a second to get presentable, all right?

Cho: Think he's gonna put his pant on before he hits the window?

Rigsby: No, I do not.

Cho: Mr. Mosca!

(Rigsby shoulder's down the door, they enter Mosca's apartment)

Cho: Let me see your hands! Get away from the window! Let me see your hands!

Alec Mosca: All right! Okay. No problem. You see that? There's $14,000 in it. Take that to Mike. Tell him I'm good for the rest. On my sister-in-law's grave, I swear!

Rigsby: What the hell are you talking about?

Alec Mosca: Mike sent you, right? To collect on the Boston-Philly bet? Oh, crap.

Cho: Face the wall. Put your hands on your head.

Alec Mosca: Who are you guys?

Rigsby: Remember the badge? CBI.

Alec Mosca: What the hell is that?

Cho: California Bureau of Investigation.

Alec Mosca: What the hell is that?

Cho: We're like the FBI, only more conveniently located.

(They handcuff Mosca)

INT. CBI office

(Cho and Mosca in an interrogation room)

Cho (to an agent that was watching Mosca before he arrived): Thanks.

Alec Mosca: Let me say I'm very sorry for the misunderstanding at my door. I had no idea you were cops.

Cho: We showed you our badges and identified ourselves.

Alec Mosca: You never watch movies? That's how the bad guys do it.

Cho: No, it's not. Sit down. How do you know Noah Valiquette?

Alec Mosca: Coffeehouse. Uh, Noah likes Vienna Roast. I'm partial to the Sumatran blend.

Cho: Mm-hmm. Is that what he's e-mailing you about, coffee orders? You should tell the truth, Mr. Mosca. It's easier to remember.

Alec Mosca: This is how it is. I occasionally place a wager.

Cho: Meaning you're a degenerate gambler?

Alec Mosca: Yeah, okay. A couple months back, I'm in the coffeehouse going through my picks when Noah asks what I'm doing. Long story short, he says he can give me "rational analysis" on the odds. So I threw him a couple games. Bing, bing, bing, they all came through. That caught my eye, so we made a deal. He gave me picks. I gave him 10% of the winnings.

Cho: These don't look like picks.

Alec Mosca: Noah said he had to send them in code. Don't ask me. Just who he was.

Cho: When did the arrangement go South?

Alec Mosca: Who said it did?

Cho: You did. You've been nervous ever since I mentioned his name.

Alec Mosca: From three weeks back every one of Noah's calls is a bust Guy couldn't pick a bear to crap in the woods. I asked him what was going on. All he'd say was he had a problem, couldn't focus.

Cho: That must have made you angry.

Alec Mosca: You think? He's got a problem? I'm the one bleeding money. But anything that you might have heard about angry words between us bears no relation to deeds carried out. I never touched the guy.

Lisbon's Office

(Lisbon, Rigsby, Jane lying on the couch)

Rigsby: Mosca's got two arrests for as*ault. I could see him going after Noah.

Lisbon: In a bar fight, maybe. Not in a clown suit.

Jane: The question is, why did Noah's picks go sour?

Rigsby: Anybody can have a bad run.

Jane: But Noah wasn't anybody. I mean, a day here, a day there. But three weeks?

Rigsby: According to Mosca, he had a problem. He couldn't focus. Troubles at home maybe?

Lisbon: That doesn't sound like the kind of pblem he'd even notice. It must have been some kind of intellectual challenge.

Jane: Agreed. But who could present that kind of intellectual challenge, that kind of... puzzle, eh?

In Tolman Bunting's shop

(Tolman, Jane, Lisbon, Annika)

Tolman Bunting: Oh, Mr. Jane. Did you, um, did you come here to concede the game?

Jane: Not at all. Bishop takes E7.

Tolman Bunting: Interesting.

Lisbon: What problem was Noah Valiquette working on for you?

Tolman Bunting: I don't know what you're talking about Noah and I played chess.

Jane: Liar.

Tolman Bunting: I am not a liar.

Jane: What makes you think I can't tell when someone is lying?

Lisbon: Jane.

Jane: Huh? Enough, Mr. Tolman. Start talking the truth or I'm gonna pop ya.

(Jane, left hand in his jacket pocket, threatening Tolman as if he had a g*n in the pocket)

Annika (Jane threatening his w*apon): Don't even think about it.

Lisbon (threatening to turn his w*apon on Annika): Put the g*n down. Put it down.

Jane: It's soft. It's just a hand. There's, there's nothing there. Just a, just a hand. We're good.

Tolman Bunting: Annika, put the g*n down.

Lisbon: Why do you have an armed bodyguard, Mr. Bunting?

Tolman Bunting: Why don't we, um, step into my office? Okay?

Tolman leads them into the back of the shop

(A room full of computer screens, people working)

Jane: Sweet.

Tolman Bunting: Do you understand how important puzzles and codes are to you agents? They protect your e-mails. They stop credit card fraud. Puzzle making and breaking is the preeminent security issue of our day, and I run a consulting firm that deals specifically with those issues.

Jane: Who do you work for?

Tolman Bunting: We're not prejudiced. Whoever needs us.

Jane: What was Noah doing for you?

Tolman Bunting: That's delicate.

Lisbon: Mr. Bunting, unless you give us your full cooperation, I'll have the CBI computer crimes unit in this office in an hour.

Tolman Bunting: I was grooming Noah for a, uh, pet project, something special.

Lisbon: What for?

Tolman Bunting: A device that could decipher virtually any encrypted information.

Jane: The universal hack.

Tolman Bunting: Well, that's the crude way of calling it. I identified three people that I thought could pull it off, and Noah was one of them. I offered each one of them $2 million. Last week, Noah called me and told me that he had built the device but that he wasn't going to give it to me.

Jane: Why?

Tolman Bunting: He said he had second thoughts. He was worried about the device falling into the wrong hands.

Jane: And that doesn't worry you?

Tolman Bunting: I'm a businessman, not a moralist.

Jane: Hmm. Kind of annoying, though, Noah holding out on you like that.

Tolman Bunting: Not really. You see, I decided that Noah didn't really build the device, that he couldn't, and he was embarrassed by his failures.

Jane: What if he had built a device? What would you do to get your hands on it?

Tolman Bunting: Anything... Short of k*lling him, of course.

Lisbon: Mm.

Jane: 'Cause I found a locker key at Noah's house, very well-hidden, a locker 42..

Tolman Bunting: Interesting. Do you have any idea where that locker is?

Lisbon: We're looking.

Tolman Bunting: Well, if you find it, you must let me know, because that device is mine.

Jane: Not yet. You haven't paid for it.

Tolman Bunting: I have a handful of lawyers looking into it. Oh, Mr. Jane, before I forget, Queen to E7. Taking your bishop.

Jane: Hmm.

Lisbon: We're gonna need to talk to the other people that you're working on this project with.

Tolman Bunting: Fine. No problem. There's an Alex Kromm who lives in Amsterdam, and then the, uh, third person is local, a Oliver McDaniel. But I doubt that he k*lled Noah.

Lisbon: Why?

Clark Mental Health Institute

(Un gardien ouvre une porte grillagée au passage d'un jeune homme encadré de deux surveillants, referme la porte, une autre s'ouvre, se referme apres leur passage, un gardien ouvre la cellule C41, avec une clé magnétique)

(Le jeune homme assis sur son lit mangeant une une boite de "Spagetti, Meat Balls" a meme la boite, Lisbon and Jane dans la cellule avec lui)

(A guard opens a door. A young man flanked by two guards. Closes the door, another opens, closes after their passing, a guard opens the C41 cell, with a magnetic key)

(Young man sitting on a bed eating a box of "Spagetti, Meat Balls". Lisbon and Jane in the cell with him)

Lisbon: Oliver Simon McDaniel. Your file says that you finished college at 16, graduate school at 19, and you were sent here after nearly choking your father to death.

Oliver Simon McDaniel: He's not my father. He's a cyber clone sent by the galactic quantum lords.

Jane: Oh, them. You know, they're always up to something Shady.

Oliver Simon McDaniel: Yes. They're trying to drive me mad. But they won't succeed.

Lisbon: Have you heard about Noah?

Oliver Simon McDaniel: I did. Sad. Can you do a shiatsu massage?

Lisbon: No

Oliver Simon McDaniel: Shame. I'm tight. So tight. And my skin is just so dry and flaky.

Lisbon: Uh-huh. The visitor log says that Noah was the only person who came to see you. How did you know him?

Oliver Simon McDaniel: Um, grad school. I felt sorry for him. He was a little off. My guess was radiation. How did he die?

Jane: g*nsh*t wound, which, uh, suggests it wasn't the quantum lords that k*lled him.

Oliver Simon McDaniel: Duh. They'd use a lorax beam. Why would they want to k*ll Noah anyway? Big wuss.

Jane: Quite. His k*ller wore a clown costume. Any ideas who that might have been? Assuming, of course, that it is a carbon-based life-form.

Oliver Simon McDaniel: Nuh-unh, but the clown thing's clever. Noah hated them.

Lisbon: We understand that you were working on a problem for Tolman Bunting?

Oliver Simon McDaniel: Yeah. My doctors wanted to nix it, but I convinced them it was good therapy. (to Jane, who presses the ON button. Sounds of birds and sea) Don't touch that!

Jane: Hmm.

Lisbon: Did you know that Noah was working on one for him, too?

Oliver Simon McDaniel: Which makes him a big-ass hypocrite.

Lisbon: Why is that?

Oliver Simon McDaniel: Well, back in grad school, we got offered a gig writing code for some defense contractor. Noah passed. Said he didn't want to do anything that could harm someone, like this thing for Tolman is any better! You could destroy the world, practically, if you wanted to.

Jane: Noah may well have completed that project. Yeah. How are you doing with it?

Oliver Simon McDaniel: Fine.

Jane: So not even close.

Oliver Simon McDaniel: I could gouge your eyes out with a spoon.

Jane: I'll take a rain check on that. It appears Noah may have hidden the device in a locker that this key belongs to. Do you have any idea where that locker could be?

Oliver Simon McDaniel: Sir, I'm a mental patient. I don't know anything. Nobody does. But see, I know I don't know. Paradox. Interview over.

Jane: Yes, it is.

Lisbon: Thank you.

In the corridors of the mental hospital

(Lisbon and Jane)

Lisbon: It's funny how well you two get along.

Jane: Well, I have the same kind of trouble with those pesky quantum lords. Noah's ethics should have prevented him from taking on the project in the first place. But he took it on. Why?

Lisbon: Noah loved puzzles. Maybe he couldn't resist the challenge.

Jane: Well, the's plenty of those to choose from. Thanks.

Lisbon: Uh, the prospect of lots and lots of money?

Jane: That's a boring motive.

Lisbon: Well, it's still pretty popular.

An audible alarm starts: "Inmate escape. Inmate escape"

Lisbon (retracing his steps running toward Simon Oliver McDaniel's cell): Open that now!

(Jane follows the running too, they arrive in the cell, the door is open)

Jane: Oh! Alert the quantum lords. oup, oup, oup, oup, oup, oup, oup, oup

CBI Offices, Jane before his chessboard

(Jane, Lisbon, Cho, Rigsby )

Lisbon: Have the Kenmore police put out an A. P.B. And get me everything you canon Oliver McDaniel. Thanks.

Rigsby: I'm impressed. Oliver made his own key pass using information stolen from one of the guards. He trips the alarm to create a distraction, then hides in the guards' locker room.

Lisbon: The last place they'd search.

Cho: Turns out this isn't the first departure. Multiple exits unaccounted for stretching back more than a month.

Lisbon: Hospital security didn't flag this?

Cho: Exits came up under the guard's name, nothing out of the ordinary.

Lisbon: So Oliver could come and go whenever he wanted.

Cho: Here's the kicker, he was gone for four hours around the time of Noah's m*rder.

Lisbon: Bumps him up the suspect list.

Rigsby: There's one thing I don't get. Why leave now? Why not stick to your routine and slip out at night?

Lisbon: Because he was going after the device. He must have figured out where it was when he saw the locker key, would have done anything to get his hands on it. Did you talk to Tolman Bunting?

Cho: He had no idea wher Oliver could be headed.

Lisbon: If Oliver leaves a trail, it's not gonna be his. Check the guard's name and run his credit cards. The security pass may not be the only thing Oliver copied.

Rigsby: Okay, you got it.

Jane: Hey, Grace.

Van Pelt (at his desk on the computer): Hey.

Jane: Um, if I wanted to go away by the ocean, you know, somewhere close, kind of a resort-type thing...

Van Pelt: Spa treatments?

Jane: Yeah. Yeah, that kind of thing, exactly. Oh, yeah, that's what I'm talkin' about. Um, is there any places that you'd recommend?

Van Pelt: I'm kind of busy here, Jane.

Jane: Well, can't you just look it up on your computer? It'll take, like, ten seconds.

Van Pelt: Why don't you do it yourself?

Jane: I'll get you a nougat bar from the, uh, machine over there.

Van Pelt: Give me five minutes.

Jane: You are the Queen of my heart, Grace.

Van Pelt: Mm-hmm. I'll wait here.

INT. lobby of a luxury hotel

(Jane enters)

Jane (to the hotel porter): Thank you.

Hotel Porter: Welcome to Tidewater, Sir.

Jane: Oh, thank you. Very, uh, lovely place.

Hotel Porter: We like to think so. Is there something I can help you with?

Jane: Uh, yes, there is. Um, how is your staff at procuring, uh, things for guests?

Hotel Porter: Um, what do you mean?

Jane: You know, special things.

Hotel Porter: If it's company you're looking for...

Jane: No, it's, uh, it's not company I'm looking for. But thank you, if you're offering company... Gary.

Lisbon's office at CBI

(Lisbon working on her computer)

Rigsby (entering the office): Got a hit on the guard's credit card. Somebody used it to buy a ticket to Brazil departing out of S. F.O. In an hour.

Lisbon: Tell the airport police we're on our way.

Rigsby: You got it.

(Rigsby leaves the office, Lisbon too, her phone rings)

Lisbon: What, Jane?

Jane (in front of a window overlooking a white sand beach): What's up, Lisbon?

Lisbon: Oh, nothing much. Might make a run to the San Francisco airport to pick up Oliver McDaniel.

Jane: Huh. Well, you may want to rethink that.

In a dining room overlooking a beach

(Jane sat at a table, a cocktail in hand, Lisbon arrives)

Lisbon: Where is he?

Jane: Hey. Isn't this lovely? Smell of the ocean air, sand beneath your feet. You know, we should move our offices here.

Lisbon: Oliver, Jane, where is he?

Jane: You'd be so much happier, do wonders for your stress levels.

Lisbon: He's ticketed on a flight to Brazil. Cho and Rigsby are on their way to the airport now. So...

Jane: Oliver has been in an insane asylum for about six months. He asked you for a massage. He's in need of a little pampering. The flight's a misdirect.

Lisbon: How can you be so sure?

Jane: The sound machine in his bedroom was tuned in to the ocean. That, and the fact that room 6-4-4 has already ordered six cans of spaghettio's from the concierge. You can't arrest him yet.

Lisbon: Yes, I can.

Jane: No, you can't. He escaped because he knows the location of the device, and if we follow him, he will lead us right to it.

Lisbon: I don't care about the device.

Jane: You don't care about a code-breaking device that could hack into our government's national security system? That's not very patriotic, Lisbon. Pina Colada?

EXT. Day - a street

(Lisbon and Jane stakeout in a car)

Jane (his cell in his hand): Rook to B8? Poor, deluded fool. Bunting will be resigned before lunch, the way he's playing.

Lisbon: Great.

Jane: Bishop... To C4. Uh-huh.

Lisbon (Oliver Simon McDaniel comes out of the building): There he is. (on walkie-talkie) Cho, we have a visual. We'll take point. You and Rigsby hang back.

On the pier from the beach, Pacific Park, tables, games, mechanical clairvoyant

(Lisbon, Jane)

Jane (playing with children and giant soap bubbles): Ooh!

(Oliver Simon McDaniel, walking quietly)

Lisbon (walkie-talkie): He's headed in now. Let's see where he's going.

Jane (still playing): Whoa! Whoa!

Lisbon (beckons Jane): Come on!

Lisbon and Jane follow Oliver at a distance

(Oliver is att*cked by a person wearing a cap)

Lisbon: Who was that?

Rigsby: I don't know.

Lisbon: Watch Oliver. Cho, come on.

Rigsby: Need a paramedic at the pier.

(Lisbon and Cho go into a room, the person wearing the cap is in the process of forcing a wall safe)

Cho: CBI. Don't move!

(A pursuit arises inside the room and on the pier. Jane enters the room, a trunk is open)

Jane: 42.

(The chase continues under the pier)

Cho: Don't move!

Lisbon (removing the cap from the person): Mister Bunting?

Jane (still in the room): 4 and 2. Yeah. (opens a chest containing Noah's decoder)

Premises of the CBI

(Lisbon and Tolman in an interrogation room)

Lisbon: Nice work, tailing us to the pier. But I guess for a guy who's after the universal hack, listening in on police radios is no big thing.

Tolman: It was, uh, an unseasonably warm day. I wanted to cool off by the water. It was pure coincidence that drew me there.

Lisbon: This isn't funny, Mr. Bunting. You're in trouble.

Tolman: Hmm.

Lisbon: We've got a big handful of felonies for what you did at the pier today, and we are this close to nailing you for the m*rder of Noah Valiquette.

Tolman: Really?

Lisbon: Really. The clown costume, the ad, sounds like the work of a man who likes to play games, doesn't it?

Rigsby (entering the room unannounced): Hey, boss. A. G.'s on the phone, says it's urgent.

Tolman: Oh, uh, do me a favor and, uh, send my best to the Attorney General. And tell Mr. Jane Queen to D8. Queen to D8! Thank you.

(Cho and Oliver in an interrogation room)

Cho: You knew where Noah hid the device. How?

Oliver: In grad school, Noah and I would go to the pier. Noah liked the rides. I liked the beach, all those young women in wet bathing suits. I knew Noah hid the device there as soon as I saw that key.

Cho: So you decided to escape and get it for yourself.

Oliver: I wanted the money. There's an intergalactic w*r coming.

Cho: Yes, I'm aware.

Oliver: Mm.

Cho: But if you take the device to Tolman, you know we're waiting for you in the lobby.

Oliver: Well, I wanted the device so I could see how it worked. After that, I could make my own, sell 'em wherever, have enough money to build my bunker.

Cho: Now the hospital security logs have you out have you out the morning of Noah's m*rder. w*r preparations?

Oliver: No, man. Breakfast at my favorite strip club. They have an open buffet, all you can eat.

Cho: And Noah's k*ller planned an elaborate diversion to get away from the crime scene, like your ticket to Brazil stunt.

Oliver: I wasn't aware it was a crime to be intelligent, Agent Cho.

CBI Corridors

(Lisbon, Jane, a cup of tea in hand)

Lisbon: The A. G. insists I let Bunting go, drop all charges. The man must have serious juice.

Jane: Well, it stands to reason. He knows where the skeletons are buried.

Lisbon: I don't know what to do. How do you build a case against a guy like this?

Jane: Oh... it's not so hard.

(Cho and Oliver)

Oliver: Talk to the girls at the strip club. Someone's gotta remember I was there.

Jane (entering the room): He speaks the truth, Cho. Oliver here would have trouble k*lling a light beer... Much less Noah Valiquette.

Oliver: That's not accurate. I could mess you up badly if I wanted to.

Jane: But you don't want to. Before we let you walk out the door, I need a favor.

Oliver: Not a chance.

Jane: Consider it. It'll give you the chance to work with this, and then when you're done, a little gift from the planetary league. (Jane leaves the decoder, spaghetti and meatballs box!) Hmm?

Tolman's Office

(Tolman, Jane)

Jane: Rook takes F6. Your very friendly assistant let me in.

Tolman: Rook takes F6. King to G8. What are you doing here?

Jane: I came by to see if Noah's doohickey here, actually works.

Tolman: That's it?

Jane: Yes.

Tolman: So he did build it.

Jane: Yes, and I'm here to return it... For $2 million, of course.

Tolman: You expect me to pay you?

Jane: Well, not me, no, but its rightful owners. Uh, have you met Noah's wife Daphne and brother Rafe? Legally, Noah's propertyis passed on to Daphne, including this. Have either of you ever seen this before?

Daphne Valiquette: No.

Rafe Valiquette: What is it?

Jane: Uh, it's a code-breaking device designed by Noah for Mr. Bunting, uh, in return for $2 million your $2 million.

Daphne Valiquette: Oh, my God.

Jane: I'm sure a cashier's check will be fine, Mr. Bunting.

Rafe Valiquette: Yes.

Tolman: Uh, I think we first have to make sure that this thing works. That was part of our arrangement.

Jane: As you wish.

Tolman: Hmm. Whoa. Okay, we're gonna need an encrypted file.

Jane: Oh, how about Agent Lisbon's personnel file?

Lisbon: No.

Jane: I happen to have it on disk right here.

Lisbon: No!

Jane: It has some great photos.

Lisbon: Fine.

(Tolman makes the connections)

Jane: It seems to be working here.

Tolman: Mm.

Rafe Valiquette: What does that mean?

Tolman: It means that it's not working. It seems Noah was unable to complete the project. I am sorry, Mrs. Valiquette.

Jane: He needed more time.

Raphe Valiquette: Wait. How do we know it doesn't work? Maybe he's playing us, trying to save himself a couple million.

Tolman: Don't be absurd. Why wouldn't I want this to work?

Daphne Valiquette (after having tinkered with the decoder): Try it again, 'cause my husband's a genius. It has to work.

Tolman: I'm afraid your, um, husband's genius had its limitations.

Jane: Humor us.

Tolman: Okay, fine.

Rafe Valiquette: What's happening?

Tolman: It's working. It's working!

On the screen:
"MY WIFE k*lled ME
MY WIFE k*lled ME
MY WIFE k*lled ME"

Daphne Valiquette: What?

Rafe Valiquette: What the hell?

Daphne Valiquette: Turn it off. Turn it off! Turn it off!

Tolman: No, wait.

Jane: It's right, isn't it?

Daphne Valiquette: Of course not.

Jane: You said you didn't know anything about the device. You were lying.

Daphne Valiquette: No. Wha, Jane: I had Oliver change the settings so it wouldn't work. But you knew how to change them back. You watched Noah work. You knew that he decided not to give it to Tolman for any price. So you did what you felt you had to...

(Flashback: Daphne disguising herself as a clown) you played on his fear. You'd take the device and turn it in to Tolman yourself. All you had to do was open the safe. The problem, it wasn't in the safe.

Daphne Valiquette: That movie with the crazy math guy and the woman who loves him, yeah, I thought Noah and me would be like that.

CBI Building

(Jane, Daphne Valiquette, Rigsby, in an interrogation room)

Jane: Hmm. "Love's Tender Passion."

Daphne Valiquette: Yeah, you go ahead and make fun. Life with Noah was nothing like that. It was silence, days of it, and books I could never understand the title of, and no sex when he's thinking, which, by the way, is all the time. I work 50 hours a week scrounging for tips just so we could have food. Anyway, so then Noah told me about this guy who would pay him $2 million to build this thing, $2 million. I begged him, and finally he said he would do it, which was only right because it was his turn.

Jane: But he wouldn't hand it over, and you couldn't live with that.

Daphne Valiquette: You're, okay. He said it was too dangerous. I tried to make him, but he said that... He said I wasn't able to understand the implications. So I decided to show him I could be smart, too.

Jane: Mm-hmm. Or a whole lot dumber. I'm, I'm not sure which.

Rigsby: Get up. Come on. Hands behind your back.

(Rigsby handcuffs Daphne, Jane leaves the room, Lisbon calls)

Lisbon: What put you on to her?

Jane: Well, I came to it very late. I could have kicked myself. The kitchen of her house was left unsearched because that was her domain. She knew the device wasn't there.

Tolman: Oh, Mr. Jane. Perfect timing. Pawn to F4.

(Tolman is in front of the chessboard in Jane's office)

Jane: Shrewd. But I gather you're here for more than just to pin my Queen.

Tolman: Yes. Actually, I came here to collect my property. Given Daphne's condition, ownership of the device goes to Noah's brother. But when I contacted Rafe, he wanted nothing to do with it. So according to my attorneys, that passes the device... to me. I have all the legal documents here. If you have any questions, you can...

Jane (gets briefcase out of his desk drawer): No need, no need. It's all yours. All yours. Uh, I hope you don't mind, I did have a little fiddle with it. (Jane gives him the briefcase) I just wanted to see how it worked.

Tolman: Ohh. What did you... (all pieces are disconnected)

Jane: Easily fixed, I'd imagine.

Tolman: Easily?

Jane: Oh? Uh, what's that? (he finds another piece in his drawer) That may be part of it.

Tolman Bunting (slumped): You are gonna be hearing from my attorney.

Jane: Tolman, one last thing, Bishop... C4. Forced mate in three moves. I win. Come and take a closer look. You'll see it. (Tolman leaves the office briefcase of spare parts in hand) We should do this again!