05x05 - It's Too Confusing When Talking about the Poster Girl for a Poster Store, So Call Her a Sandwich Board

[bunniefuu]

Gin: Okay, attention please?

Gin: Some of you may have already noticed,

Gin: but there's this little dot here.

Gin: Kind of like a secondary sex characteristic.

Gin: But it's not pronounced Gintama Dash or Dot.

Gin: Due to grown-up circumstances,

there has to be something here.

Gin: Because grown-ups grow hair down there.

Gin: But it's still pronounced Gintama.

Gin: Grown-ups keep their mouths shut

when someone's unshaven.

Gin: So with that lesson learned, let's try this again.

Snack Otose

Otose: Apparently, she's got herself...

Otose: ...a man.

Otose: I noticed that Catherine was behaving

rather oddly lately.

Otose: That explains why.

Gin: So, did someone lose a bet or something?

Otose: He's a regular here.

Otose: They've been on friendly terms for a while.

Gin: No, seriously. This guy must have lost

Gin: This defies logic.

Gin: No man would ever be interested in that nasty woman.

Gin: Clearly, she was the result of a bad joke by God.

Gin: If he threw together some leftover cat and housewife parts

to make a present for his grandchild,

Gin: which was then relegated

to chew toy duty, that would be her.

Tama: But don't you think that

Catherine-san looks prettier these days?

Gin: How?

Gin: You mean how the cat and housewife parts fit together?

Gin: That's because God files the edges and gives the

putty plenty of time to dry.

Tama: According to my data,

women become more beautiful

when they fall in love.

Gin: What?

Gin: That's just lip service.

Tama: Don't they tend to place their

hand on their cheek and sigh?

Gin: Just stop already.

Gin: Women, old and robot, always love this topic.

Tama: My folder of love stories is ten yottabytes.

Gin: That's ridiculously huge!

Gin: Listen to me.

Gin: You can putty up a Zaku as much as you want.

Gin: It's never going to become a Gundam.

Gin: Fix your data.

Tama: Understood.

Tama: Master Gintoki can never be like Hiro Mizushima.

Tama: Gajiro Sato is the best he can manage.

Gin: What's with the cruel gap in wavy hair characters?

Catherine: I'm back.

Gin: Look, the Zaku's back.

Gin: Tune her up, mechanic.

Catherine: Sorry I took so long.

Catherine: There was an elderly person

who needed help carrying something.

Catherine: Please deduct it from my wages.

Gin: Z-ZZZ Gundam has returned!

Tama: Didn't I explain this to you?

Gin: Explain what?!

Gin: Her physique is completely different!

Gin: You can't pin this on an idiosyncratic animator!

Catherine: Oh, Gintoki-san.

Catherine: Welcome.

Catherine: Enjoy yourself.

Gin: Even her personality has been Newtype'd!

Gin: Why is she so polite now?!

Gin: Love can't change a girl this much!

Catherine: Wait, love...?

Catherine: You all know?

Catherine: Oh, I'm so embarrassed!

Catherine: I'm sorry.

Catherine: I planned to tell you

once everything was settled...

Otose: Everything was settled?

Otose: Catherine, are you...

Catherine: Otose-san, I'm...

Snack Otose

Catherine: ...in a relationship with

someone who wants to marry me.

EpTitle: It's Too Confusing When Talking About the Poster Girl for a Poster Store, So Call Her a Sandwich Board

Shin: Suejiro Suemoto-san.

Shin: A regular at Otose-san's place.

Shin: That's how he got to know Catherine-san.

Shin: He's an up-and-coming entrepreneur

Shin: with considerable influence.

Kagura: Hmm...

Kagura: There are some real weirdos out there.

Sugar Content

Shin: People have always sucked up

to him because of his money,

Shin: so Catherine-san was like a breath of fresh air.

Catherine-san!

Sorry about being late.

Please don't worry about it.

You should wipe off your sweat first.

Oh, thank you. I appreciate it.

Ah!

(My, Suejiro-san is so bold.)

Flower House

Oh, dear. My head is spinning.

This is so much fun.

Ah!

Whoa...!

Catherine-san...

Suejiro-san...

Gin: Wait a second.

Gin: Is this the right show?

Gin: Who wants to see them fawn over each other?

Shin: Gin-san, we should be happy for them.

Shin: That would be the grown-up response.

Gin: Hah!

Gin: Grown-up!

Gin: Yeah, yeah.

Gin: So sorry!

Shin: In any case, business is booming at Snack Otose.

Shin: It must be the charm of a new wife or something,

Shin: since Catherine-san has doubled her clientele.

Shin: And Suejiro-san seems like a nice person.

Shin: He was a regular customer,

Shin: so he isn't going to tell her to stop working.

Kagura: Hmph!

Kagura: Make sure you don't fall

for a woman like her, Sadaharu!

Kagura: You never know when she's gonna

turn back into a chew toy.

Sugar Content

Shin: He lost all of his assets

when Lehman Brothers went bankrupt.

Shin: So he was saying that he can

no longer make Catherine-san happy...

Kagura: So he wants to call it off?

Kagura: Just goes to show that he's a man with

no money and no balls.

Shin: But Catherine-san refused.

Shin: She said that she would support him.

Kagura: Huh?

Shin: Suejiro-san has a piece of property left that

isn't in the Kabuki district.

Shin: He's going to open a new business there.

Shin: With Catherine-san.

Kagura: So what?

Kagura: That thief who showed up in

episode of this anime,

Kagura: is finally leaving in episode ?

Shin: Well, it's like she's graduating,

becoming independent.

Shin: Otose-san will be a little lonely,

Shin: but I'm sure that she'll be the first

one to congratulate them.

Tama: Master Gintoki.

Tama: There is an emergency.

Tama: Could you come see Ms. Otose immediately?

Gin: Uh, I have a little emergency of my own here.

Gin: Could you leave immediately?

Tama: I will take over here.

Gin: Take over what?

Keep the bathroom clean!

Tama: Go see Ms. Otose now.

Gin: After walking through the cold,

I'm at terminal velocity, or diarrhea city.

Tama: I have retrieved the appropriate data.

Tama: I simply need to continue making ice cream, correct?

Gin: Chocolate.

Gin: And make sure it doesn't fall off the cone.

Gin: Man...

Gin: What's going on?

Shin: She probably wants to talk about

Catherine-san and Suejiro-san's future?

Kagura: -Gin-chan! -Gin-San!

Suejiro: Catherine!

Suejiro: Are you okay?!

Suejiro: What was that for?!

Suejiro: Otose-san!

Otose: If you want to leave, scram.

Otose: I won't object or try to stop you.

Otose: But I can't stand

to watch people like you who dream

Otose: and can't keep their feet on the ground.

Suejiro: You can call me whatever you want!

Suejiro: But are you really saying that

Catherine's hopes are just a pipe dream?!

Catherine: Otose-san...

Suejiro: Catherine!

Catherine: I've been saving up money

so I might open my own bar one day...

Snack Otose

Catherine: I wanted to create a place

like this one, where everyone was all smiles.

Catherine: I wanted to become a selfless person like you...

Otose: I see how it is, Suejiro-san.

Otose: I was wondering how you could

afford to open a new business.

Otose: That explains it.

Catherine: Don't say that!

Suejiro: I just want to work together for our future...!

Otose: Go ahead and get married, be independent.

Otose: You don't need permission from me.

Otose: We're total strangers, after all.

Otose: Or is there more?

Otose: You came here because you wanted to

weasel money out of me and Catherine?

Shin: Otose-san!

Shin: That's crossing the line...

Catherine: Always...

Catherine: I always thought of you as my mother...

Catherine: Fine, you old hag!

Catherine: I don't need your permission!

Catherine: And I'm never coming back to see you!

Catherine: Roll over and die!

Otose: That's nice.

Otose: I feel a lot better knowing that I won't

have to see your face again!

Catherine: Wait up, hag!

Catherine: I'm not finished with you...

Otose: I'll give you that instead of money.

Otose: You can display it in your bar.

Otose: It'll be the perfect place to display

a cheap bottle of alcohol.

Catherine: You old hag!

Catherine: I'll make you eat your words!

Catherine: I'll start up a bar that beats

the crap out of this run-down place!

Catherine: I'll become bigger than you ever will!

Catherine: g*dd*mn!

Suejiro: Catherine!

Suejiro: Catherine!

Shin: Catherine-san!

Kagura: Hey, you thief!

Suejiro: Catherine!

Kabuki District Station

Shin: Write us a letter once you're settled down.

Shin: And invite us over once your bar is open.

Shin: We'll all come to visit.

Tama: Let me know if anything comes up.

Tama: I will be right there.

Catherine: Thank you very much.

Shin: Sorry that this isn't much of a send-off...

Shin: Where did Gin-san run off to this time?

Shin: Hey, Kagura-chan!

Shin: You should say goodbye.

Kagura: Don't come back!

Shin: Come on, Kagura-chan!

Kagura: But if it's too much to take...

Kagura: If you can't put up with the in-laws,

Kagura: you can come back after raking him for alimony.

Kagura: You'll be more than welcome then.

Catherine: Really, thank you for everything.

Catherine: Please take care...

Shin: Catherine-san, uh... About Otose-san...

N: The train on Platform will be departing momentarily.

Catherine: I'll be going then.

Catherine: Suejiro-san is waiting for me.

Shin: Please wait, Catherine-san!

Catherine: Please take care of...

Catherine: ...Otose-san for me.

Snack Otose

Otose: Didn't you read the sign?

Otose: We're closed today.

Gin: Really?

Gin: Guess you don't have a choice

without your poster girl around.

Gin: Don't worry.

Gin: I'm not here for a drink.

Gin: I'm here to do the pouring.

Otose: I never knew.

Otose: When I first met her,

she was just a dirty thief.

Otose: I felt so bad for her

Otose: that I let her stay at my bar.

Otose: But she kept wandering off.

Otose: Couldn't really blame her

since she was a stray at heart,

Otose: but lately, she's settled down

and been working hard.

Otose: I never knew she actually had a plan for her future...

Gin: You didn't like the guy?

Otose: I should be grateful

that anyone was willing to take her.

Otose: I understand that she can't exactly be choosy.

Otose: Still, as a parent...

Otose: Your daughter can bring home the perfect man

Otose: and you'll still be able to find something wrong.

Otose: I can't just smile and send her off,

Otose: when I know she's going to suffer.

Otose: That was the best I could manage.

Otose: I feel bad.

Otose: So this is how it ends.

Gin: If you feel bad, don't talk like it's over.

Gin: Once she's opened a bar that's as good as this one,

Gin: you should go have a drink.

Otose: Catherine, find your happiness.

N: The last train is departing.

N: Today's service has concluded.

N: Please exit the station in a swift manner.

Man: Suemoto?

Man: Nope, never heard of him.

Man: I don't think there's anybody by that name in this area.

Man: A bar?

Man: No, no.

Man: They're going to open a drugstore here.

Greater Edo Bank

Please wait.

Your balance is yen. Would you like a receipt?

Machine: Please remove your card.

Man: Are you new here?

Man: I don't know what you've been through,

but it's a harsh world out there.

Man: If you need anything, let me know.

Man: They call me the lord of this park.

Man: I'll do anything for a little alcohol...

Bacchus

Man: W-Wait!

Man: Wh-Where did you get this stuff?!

Catherine: Don't touch that!

Man: L-Lady, that's incredible stuff!

Man: Bacchus wine from Planet Bacchus,

only made once every hundred years!

Man: Legendary stuff that

will net hundreds from any collector!

Man: H-How did you get your hands on this?!

Otose: You can display it in your bar.

Otose: The perfect place to display a cheap bottle of alcohol.

Catherine: Otose-san...

Catherine: You were giving me a push in the back...

Catherine: I'm so sorry, Otose-san...

Catherine: I have no place to display this wonderful bottle...

Man: Wait, I didn't drink any!

Man: I didn't even take a sip!

Man: I just touched the bottle!

Man: I'm sorry! Really sorry!

Man: Sorry! I'm sorry!

Man: Okay?

Madao: So yeah.

Madao: She wouldn't tell me

what happened when I asked.

Madao: She kept saying that she

couldn't go back because she promised.

Madao: I guess she got sick of me asking questions,

Madao: since she just ran off.

Madao: Do you know anything, Gin-san?

Gin: Hasegawa-san...

Gin: Were your parents happy when you got married?

Madao: Where did that come from?

Madao: I married into money.

Madao: So my whole family was thrilled.

Gin: I see...

Gin: That's what matters in the end.

Madao: Hey, it's starting, Gin-san!

Madao: Whoa, wait!

Madao: Wh-What?!

Madao: Man, that's nasty!

Madao: Gin-san!

Madao: Look at that!

Madao: What?

Madao: Huh?

Easy Financing Evil Loans

Loan: You actually got the money.

Loan: I knew you could do it.

Loan: You just have to trick a few women

and you can pay back your loan in no time.

Evil Lyfe

Loan: What was your opinion of this target,

as a former gigolo.

Suejiro: Quite frankly, she was so easy

that I was bored to death.

Suejiro: I just used her dream of opening a bar,

Suejiro: and she completely fell for it.

Suejiro: Stupid woman.

Suejiro: Why would I waste my time on that old lady?

Suejiro: I could barely stand walking next to her.

Loan: I don't know how you came up with the idea

Loan: of pretending to go broke after you were a couple.

Suejiro: Most women will do anything for money.

Suejiro: But there are a few exceptions

Suejiro: who have a weakness for the penniless.

Loan: You're starting to look pretty evil yourself.

Loan: At this rate, you'll pay off the rest in no...

Loan: Wh-What's that?!

Man: B-Bro!

Man: We're under att*ck!

Loan: Wh-What?!

Loan: Which g*ng is it?!

Man: It's not a g*ng!

Man: There's only one...

Evil Lyfe

Suejiro: You're the man who was at Otose's bar!

Gin: Don't worry.

Gin: You guys aren't evil.

Gin: You just stole money from a woman

who was saving up for her dream...

Gin: You fooled her into thinking you

wanted to marry her so you could take her money...

Gin: That doesn't make you evil.

Gin: I'll show you what true evil looks like.

Otose: Do you have a moment?

Otose: I feel like having a drink.

Otose: Are you open?

Otose: That's a relief.

Otose: I didn't think anyone

would be open with the snow and all.

Otose: Just give me one sh*t of your cheapest booze.

Otose: This is a nice place.

Otose: You can watch the moon, watch the snow,

and have a drink.

Otose: But I have one complaint.

Otose: Nobody cries while pouring a drink.

Otose: You have to have a smile on your face at all times.

Otose: Even if the customer is crying.

Otose: You still have much to learn, Catherine.

Gin: Well, let's go have a drink.

Shin: Gin-san.

Gin: I brought a little present...

Gin: The drinks...

Gin: ...are on me.

Catherine Greater Edo Bank

Next Episode

Sa: It's like a dream come true!

Sa: I'll pretend like these glasses are Gin-san

and never let them go!

Sa: Next time:

EpTitle: Glasses Are Part of the Soul

Sa: Glasses are part of the soul!