05x01 - Everyone Looks a Little Grown Up After Spring Break

[bunniefuu]

Shin: The land of the samurai.

Shin: There was a time, long ago, when our country was called by that name.

Shin: With the arrival of the Amanto from outer space and the Sword Ban twenty years ago,

Shin: the samurai class fell into decline.

Shin: In these hard times, there was one man left with the spirit of the samurai. His name is Gintoki Sakata.

Shin: Kagura and I, Shinpachi Shimura, work at Odd Jobs Gin, which is coincidentally...

Kagura: Enough already!

Gin: Why would you reuse the introduction now?!

Shin: Because this is supposed to be a new show!

Shin: We have to explain the context for the newcomers!

Kagura: It's a waste of time to worry about the context of this anime.

Kagura: The audience is only kind of paying attention.

Gin: Right.

Gin: So Gintama is kind of back in : .

Shin: The first episode of Gintama in a year.

Shin: It'll take a little time to get back in the flow,

Shin: but for now, it's back to work.

Caption: [Odd Jobs Gin-chan] [Snack Otose]

Shin: It feels like I haven't been here in forever.

Shin: Good morning!

Shin: I guess he's still asleep.

Shin: Seriously, we're finally back on air...

Shin: Wake up, Gin-san!

Shin: Vacation's over.

Shin: The show is back...

Gin: This town hasn't changed...

Gin: Everybody's walking around with glum faces.

Shin: Wait!

Shin: Who are you?!

Shin: What are you doing in here?!

Shin: I'll call the police...

Gin: Shinpachi.

Gin: You haven't changed either.

Gin: Couldn't find anything to do while we ran reruns for a year?

Gin: You never learn.

Shin: Th-That voice...

Gin: Hey, now.

Gin: You even forgot my face?

Gin: Well, they say it only takes a man three days to grow out of his boots.

Gin: It's me.

Gin: Gin-san.

[Everyone Looks a Little Grown Up After Spring Break]

Shin: What?!

Gin: Long time no see, Pachi-boy.

Gin: How you been doing?

Shin: No, wait!

Shin: Long time no see?!

Shin: What?!

Shin: Sure, it's been a year since the show was last on air...

Shin: What the hell happened to you in the past year?!

Gin: That's long enough for my hair to grow out.

Shin: Forget your hair! You look like a completely different character!

Shin: You're acting like we just ran into each other for the first time in years at the World Martial Arts Tournament!

Shin: Why do you have a scar?!

Shin: Why do you have that patch on your chest?!

Gin: What do you mean?

Gin: Did you forget the promise we made?

Shin: Huh?

Gin: After the show ended, we held a little pow wow.

Gin: Don't you remember?

Shin: Huh?

Shin: What are you talking about?

Gin: With the TV show and movie over with,

Gin: Gintama was starting to lose its novelty.

Gin: So we discussed how it was necessary to

Gin: give the show a breath of fresh air to keep the fans interested.

Gin: Each of us would use this break to work on a remedy.

Gin: And then we would return to New Odd Jobs.

All: We'll meet up at Jabaody Archipelago in two years!

Shin: We never made any promises!

Shin: Where the hell is Jabaody Archipelago?!

Gin: Doesn't matter where it is.

Gin: It comes down to feeling and inspiration.

Shin: Inspiration, my ass!

Shin: You stole that promise from a different anime!

Shin: Nobody was waiting for you fools!

Gin: Man, I spent all my time training hard.

Gin: What were you doing?

Gin: I had a rough time.

Gin: Getting blown up by weird aliens...

Gin: Impaled by cyborgs...

Gin: Losing my woman to some guy with a mad widow's peak...

Shin: You keep using flashbacks from other shows!

Shin: And you did all of this in one year?!

Gin: Huh? One year?

Gin: What are you talking about?

Gin: Two years have passed in this anime in the past year.

Shin: That's not much of a difference.

Shin: And you're clearly lying!

Shin: I mean, this show follows the Sazae format where nobody ages...

Gin: I'm not lying.

Gin: Just look at how much I've changed.

Kagura: I'm back!

Kagura: 'Sup!

Kagura: Long time no see, guys!

Kagura: How you been doing?

Kagura: Huh?

Kagura: Did you shrink, Shinpachi?

Shin: Uh, er...

Shin: Excuse me.

Shin: Who are you?

Kagura: What? It's me.

Kagura: Kagura.

Shin: Wait!

Shin: What?!

Kagura: You look exactly the same.

Gin: Right?

Gin: This guy didn't do anything the past two years.

Shin: Wait! This is...

Shin: Kagura-cha-

Shin: Kagura-san?!

Shin: You've gotta be kidding!

Shin: She's completely grown up!

Kagura: They say it only takes a woman three days to grow out of her boots.

Shin: No, they don't!

Kagura: I'm tired after the long trip.

Kagura: Bring me some clothes.

Kagura: I'm gonna take a nap.

Shin: No, wait.

Shin: There's something else we need to address first...

Kagura: Too slow, Nappa!

Gin: She's fast...

Gin: She changed into her pajamas and plopped herself on the couch the moment she got home.

Gin: She's grown into one hell of a pajama girl.

Shin: Am I supposed to be impressed?!

Shin: And what was the point in standing on my head?!

Gin: Kagura, where were you training?

Kagura: Nowhere really.

Kagura: I flew around space with Pappy.

Kagura: Oh, I brought some souvenirs you can eat...

Gin: Huh?

Gin: Are you talking about this?

Gin: Sorry, I already ate it.

Kagura: He's fast...

Kagura: He finished them off before I even mentioned them...

Kagura: Gin-chan's grown into one hell of a greedy guy.

Shin: That wouldn't be considered growth!

Shin: And do you feel you have to stand on my head to look impressive?!

Gin: It appears that my two years of training wasn't for nothing.

Kagura: We're going to start a new legend here at New Odd Jobs!

Kagura: I'm getting excited!

Shin: Nothing's changed!

Shin: Hell, the two of you have regressed!

Shin: Anyway, is it true?!

Shin: Two years have passed while I wasn't paying attention?!

Shin: Nobody told me about this!

Shin: Why was I the only one left behind?!

Gin: That's what happens when you treat the break as a vacation.

Gin: You're supposed to work hard when people aren't watching.

Shin: You're the one who's trying to convince everyone you were training during the break!

Caption: [Sugar Content]

Gin: Personally, I want to know how you're able to look exactly the same after two years.

Gin: Two years is enough for ramen to grow stale.

Kagura: By the way, Sadaharu tagged along with me and grew a lot, Nappa.

Shin: Can you stop calling me Nappa?

Kagura: Ah, it must be Sadaharu!

Kagura: Pets weren't allowed on my ship, so I had to put him on a different one.

Shin: Oh, he hasn't changed at all.

Shin: Why did you say that he grew a lot, Kagura-san?

Shin: Actually, he looks smaller now?

Kagura: Here's the receipt.

Caption: [Odd Jobs Gin-chan]

Shin: Uh...

Shin: Excuse me.

Shin: Sadaharu just left.

Shin: Uh, our pet just ran off, Mister.

Sadaharu: It's been a while.

Sadaharu: I, Sadaharu, have finished serving my time.

Shin: Him?!

Shin: Hold on!

Shin: That's impossible!

Shin: This is clearly the delivery man!

Shin: That dog was obviously Sadaharu!

Kagura: That was a delivery dog from Planet Komainu.

Kagura: Sadaharu's shy, so I had him delivered by a dog just like him.

Shin: Just like him?!

Shin: That was obviously Sadaharu!

Shin: And they don't look anything like each other!

Kagura: Like I said, he grew a lot.

Shin: This isn't called growing a lot!

Shin: This is called turning into a completely different creature!

Gin: Shinpachi, dogs grow faster than humans.

Gin: Two years is enough for them to become old men.

Shin: This guy is literally just an old man!

Sadaharu: Brother Shinpachi,

Sadaharu: if I've done anything to offend you, I apologize.

Shin: Brother?!

Sadaharu: Please don't blame Sister.

Sadaharu: I will make amends!

Sadaharu: If a doggy or two will satisfy you...

Shin: Wait!

Shin: Wait, wait, wait!

Shin: What do you mean by doggy?!

Shin: Why does this remind me of pinky amputation?!

Shin: What's wrong with this Sadaharu?!

Shin: Why is he acting like a direct-to-video fan?!

Shin: Huh?

Shin: Wait a second.

Shin: That's...

Shin: On closer look, there's something at the end of his tail...

Shin: Sadaharu?!

Shin: There's a small Sadaharu on his tail?!

Gin: What's this?

Shin: What's going on?!

Sadaharu: Uncle, Brother...

Sadaharu: Mind if I tell you an old story?

Sadaharu: There was a very happy dog who belonged to very wonderful owners.

Sadaharu: However, the dog always wondered if he was worthy of his owners.

Sadaharu: In order to join his owners as they marched on, to move forward,

Sadaharu: the dog chose to fight alongside them.

Sadaharu: Day after day, he would place his tail in scorching sand.

Shin: Why would you do that?

Sadaharu: Day after day, he would make his tail watch Karate Kid .

Shin: Why would you do that?

Sadaharu: Eventually, a firm wart appeared on his tail.

Sadaharu: It continued to grow bigger.

Sadaharu: However, as the wart grew in size,

Sadaharu: his body shrunk.

Sadaharu: As though the wart was sapping his strength...

Sadaharu: Do you understand?

Sadaharu: That's right - I am that wart.

Shin: How could I possibly understand?!

Kagura: Long story short, the wart traded places with the original.

Shin: That's so short that I have no idea what you mean!

Sadaharu: Do not worry.

Sadaharu: Sadaharu and I may be different in appearance,

Sadaharu: but our minds are connected through this tail, and we share the same destiny.

Sadaharu: You can call us the Wartio Brothers.

Shin: That's not funny!

Sadaharu: Please call me Wartiharu.

Sadaharu: It is an honor.

Shin: I'm not gonna call you that!

Shin: How are we supposed to keep this freak as a pet?!

Shin: I won't have it!

Shin: I refuse to accept this!

Kagura: Hey! Wait, Nappa!

Shin: Otose-san!

Shin: Hello?

Shin: Listen to this!

Shin: Gin-san and Kagura are...

Otose: What's all the fuss about?

Otose: Don't just barge into a lady's room.

Otose: You should knock first.

Tama: Is there a fight going on, Master Shinpachi?

Catherine: It's probably something stupid again.

Catherine: Just ignore him.

Catherine: It's a waste of time to listen to him.

Shin: I knew it...

Shin: You haven't changed at all...

Shin: They were lying about two years passing.

Otose: What are you babbling about?

Otose: In any case, it's been...

Otose: ...quite some time since I've seen you.

Tama: A long time.

Catherine: A very long time.

Shin: You're all Wartiharu!

Tama: Oh, you recognize us?

Shin: There's nothing to recognize!

Shin: You've all evolved into different creatures!

Shin: And an android is capable of growing warts?!

Tama: They were all intent on improving themselves,

Tama: and after pushing themselves too hard for two years, we were born.

Tama: For now, you can call us Wartise, Wartirine, and Warti.

Shin: So there's nothing left of Tama-san?!

Gin: Like I said,

Gin: everybody's been working hard while you weren't watching.

Gin: We've all been trying to grow.

Shin: Only their warts have grown!

Gin: Pachi-boy, it doesn't matter what you think.

Gin: The past two years aren't coming back.

Gin: You have to face reality and look to the future.

Gin: You'll have plenty of chances to redeem yourself!

Gin: Right now, you're denying yourself that chance...

Gin: The chance to create a wart!

Shin: You bet I'm gonna deny that chance!

Shin: Just leave me alone.

Shin: There was a two year jump during the one year break like in One Piece...

Shin: Warts turning into old men...

Shin: Everybody leaving me behind...

Shin: How am I supposed to accept this?!

Otae: Shin-chan, may I come in?

Shin: Sorry.

Shin: I don't want to see anyone right now.

Shin: It feels like everyone's gone to a faraway place.

Shin: I've experienced this many times before.

Shin: I dream about this all the time, Sis.

Shin: We're all running in the darkness.

Shin: But everyone else is faster than me.

Shin: I try my best to catch up,

Shin: but I end up alone in the darkness.

Otae: Shin-chan, you're a lucky boy.

Otae: Because you have a goal to guide you through the darkness.

Otae: The truly unfortunate are those who stand still without any sense of which direction to go.

Otae: And it's hardest on the person who's running out in front when he can't tell left from right...

Otae: True, they aren't nice enough to slow down for you.

Otae: They may take a lot of detours...

Otae: But you believe that he's moving forward, right?

Otae: You're very fortunate to have someone like that, Shin-chan.

Otae: No matter how far away he gets, you'll still be able to see him.

Otae: And as long as you keep moving, I know that you'll be able to catch up.

Otae: It only makes sense.

Otae: Since I'll be there to kick you along.

Shin: Sis...

Shin: Sis...

Shin: Sis!

Shin: It doesn't matter if two years have passed!

Shin: I can go anywhere if I'm with you!

Kondo: That's the little brother I know!

Kondo: You can hang on tight to the two of us!

Kondo: I won't go easy on you!

Kondo: But I promise to take you to Neverland!

Otae: Honestly...

Otae: Don't get so excited that you forget about us, Isao-san.

Otae: Though I'll always be right behind you.

Kondo: Now that we're all happy, let's have dinner!

Kondo: Hurry up, or you won't get any!

Otae: Please, wait for me, Isao-san!

Kondo: What's for dinner tonight?

Otae: Your favorite.

Kondo: What? Curry...

Otae: Omelets.

Kondo: Thought so!

Kondo: Y-Yay!

Kondo: This will help me forget everything bad that's happened!

Otae: Now, Isao-san.

Otae: Open wide!

Kondo: Come on, Otae-san.

Kondo: I can eat my own food.

Otae: Please, why are you acting so shy?

Otae: We're married now.

Otae: This is a perfectly normal thing to do.

Kondo: You're such a doll!

Kondo: Nobody would be able to guess which one of us used to stalk the other one!

Otae: Don't say that.

Otae: If I'd known how kind you were,

Otae: I could have found happiness much sooner.

Otae: I never imagined that you would quit the Shinsengumi and help us with our dojo.

Kondo: The Shinsengumi can do fine without me.

Kondo: They have plenty of responsible people.

Kondo: But it's my job to support you, Otae-san.

Kondo: I'm hopeless without you...

Otae: Oh, please!

Kondo: I can't believe I said that!

Shin: I'm finished eating...

Otae: Oh, Shin-chan?

Otae: You barely touched your food.

Kondo: You need to eat so you can work, Shinpachi-kun.

Shin: Huh?

Kondo: Today's your first day on the job!

Otae: That's right.

Otae: Isao-san helped you find this wonderful job,

Otae: so you need to work hard.

Otae: Here.

Kondo: It feels good to know that you'll be there to replace me.

Kondo: I'm trusting you to take care of the Shinsengumi.

Otae: We won't see each other much since you'll be living there while training,

Otae: but do your best.

Otae: The two of us...

Otae: No, the three of us will always be here to support you.

Kondo: Right.

Kondo: Hmm?

Kondo: Three of us?

Kondo: Three of us...?

Otae: Shin-chan, you'll be an uncle when you return.

Otae: Become a samurai that will make this child proud.

Kondo: R-Really, Otae-san?!

Kondo: I'm going to be a father?!

Kondo: Did you hear that, Shinpachi-kun?!

Kondo: H-Huh?

Kondo: Shinpachi-kun?!

Otae: He's fired up!

Kondo: Man, he's a very dependable little brother...

Kondo: No, a very dependable uncle.

A: That was when Ikazo...

Shin: Are you sh1tting me?!

Shin: God!

Shin: What have I done to deserve this?!

Shin: I go on vacation for a year and this is what happens?!

Shin: It's not right!

Shin: The Odd Jobs members have changed!

Shin: And what's worse, that gorilla of a stalker somehow managed to land my sister

Shin: and become my older brother!

Shin: I'm the third wheel now!

Shin: They sent me to the Shinsengumi to get me out of the house!

Shin: I'm completely out of the loop at Odd Jobs, at my own home!

Shin: This short amount of time was all it took to leave me with nowhere to belong?!

Shin: This is awful...

Shin: It's like I'm the only person left in an unknown world...

Shin: Where am I supposed to go?

Kyube: I understand how you feel.

Kyube: I was once in your position.

Shin: Ky-Kyubei-san?!

Shin: Sh-She totally looks like a girl now!

Shin: And her hand...

Kyube: S-Sorry...

Shin: Kyubei-san...

Shin: You're okay with touching men now?

Shin: And your clothes...

Kyube: S-Sorry...

Kyube: I couldn't ignore you when I saw you crying...

Kyube: Otae-chan is gone now,

Kyube: so I decided that I needed to change.

Shin: I see...

Shin: Because she lost my sister...

Kyube: D-Do I look strange?

Shin: Ah! Sorry about what I said!

Shin: You look really cute!

Shin: You're totally my type!

Kyube: Th-Thank you...

Kyube: U-Um, Shinpachi-kun,

Kyube: you aren't alone.

Kyube: I'm here for you.

Kyube: So you can come here when you're feeling down.

Kyube: I come here all the time.

Kyube: It helps when there's someone else who feels the same way as you do.

Kyube: And do you mind if I ask a favor in return?

Shin: Huh?

Kyube: Well, um...

Kyube: Could you experiment by touching me from time to time?

Shin: Huh?

Shin: What's she talking about?

Kyube: It seems that I'm fine when you touch me.

Kyube: I wonder why?

Kyube: Maybe it's because you resemble Tae-chan.

Kyube: Or maybe...

Shin: M-My heart is about to burst!

Kyube: I want to forget about Tae-chan...

Kyube: I have to learn to live with men.

Kyube: So...

Kyube: Is it okay?

Shin: Was Kyubei-san always this cute?!

Shin: It's okay!

Shin: Absolutely okay!

Shin: I can help you every day if you want!

Shin: I'll help you with anything you need!

Shin: I can touch you every day!

Kyube: R-Really?

Kyube: I'm so happy.

Kyube: Then touch me more.

Kyube: Please be gentle when you experiment.

Shin: Wait! What?

Shin: Hold on!

Shin: Kyubei-san!

Shin: If I...

Shin: If I experiment there...

Shin: I'll...

Shin: I'll...

Shin: ...turn into a mad scientist!

Shin: Huh?

Shin: There's something here...

Shin: Something that feels very familiar...

Kyube: Well?

Kyube: How is it compared to yours?

Kyube: I just finished having the procedure,

Kyube: but I couldn't tell, is there anything abnormal about it?

Shin: What procedure?

Kyube: For that.

Shin: For what?

Kyube: The procedure to attach a male organ.

Shin: What the hell did you do?!

Shin: You were asking me to touch your balls?!

Kyube: Unlike before, I'm a woman on the outside and a man on the inside.

Kyube: I've been completely reborn!

Shin: You've only made it worse!

Kyube: I'm tired of trying to become a man or a woman.

Kyube: Now, I search for a new world where gender doesn't matter

Kyube: with those people.

Guy: Kyu-chan!

Guy: We're heading back!

A: Oh, it's the cutie from Odd Jobs.

Shin: She's aiming for a incredibly wrong new world?!

B: Kyu-chan's trying to steal him! Eek!

Shin: It's bon voyage to a new world with the blue beard pirates?!

Shin: Wait, are you working at a gay bar?!

Kyube: Heh, I'm their ace.

Shin: Why are you so proud?!

Shin: This is so crazy that I have no idea what's going on anymore!

Katsura: Enough, Sir Kyubei.

Katsura: You actually attached that foul member to your body.

Katsura: I see that you're intent on making your character overlap with mine.

Kyube: You are...

Katsura: We are both considered serious characters.

Katsura: We only differ in gender.

Katsura: You intend to eliminate that difference and take over my role.

Katsura: But I was one step ahead of you!

Katsura: While you were attaching that foul member...

Katsura: I...

Katsura: Became Zurako!

Caption: [To Be Continued]

Caption: [Next Episode]

EpTitle: [Everyone Looks Pretty Grown Up After Summer Break]

Shin: The show is finally back,

Shin: but what the hell is going on with everyone?!