04x26 - Speaking of Crossovers, Don't Forget About Alien vs. Predator

[bunniefuu]

Uh, Gin-san? What is it, Shinpachi? Just to be clear, what was that countdown you mentioned in the preview last week? Was it just the usual? Another fake ending scam? Of course not.

We're actually having a countdown today.

I'm a grown-up.

I'm not going to lie every time.

It's a matter of trust.

You think that people still trust this show? Ouch, Kagura-chan! Where did you learn to be so hateful?! You can't blame them, Gin-san.

We said we're entering the "final chapter" around the same time last year.

That means we've been in the "final chapter" for a whole year.

Plus there was the whole fake last episode fiasco at the end of our third year.

Oh, that.

Well, they just wanted to try out some last episode gag.

It wasn't meant to trick the audience.

We figured that everybody was used to the show's style by now, but The phones at TV Tokyo were ringing non-stop right from the start of that episode.

And because I made an ambiguous statement about Sunrise, "Sunrise" became the number one searched term on the net.

The script actually had me saying that Sunrise went bankrupt.

Naturally, we got called by the producers' higher-ups at the time and got yelled at.

"Do you have any idea what it means to be a publicly traded company?!" Even the staff got a call from their families who were watching the show and were asked, "It looks like GinTama is ending.

Do you have another job lined up?" Why would you want to trick your family? Yeah, yeah.

I get it already.

We're sorry.

That's why we're actually having a countdown today.

No lies, I swear! Are you sure? Is the GinTama anime really having a countdown? Really! Look at my eyes! Do I look like I'm lying? Sorry, we've only got a background sh*t, so I can't tell.

So let's begin the GinTama anime countdown! Coming up next! Did he just dismiss me?! ["Countdown Begins"]

Wow! Good evening to everyone watching Countdown GinTama! Huh? What is this? Thank you for sending in your votes! Wh-Why're we CGI? Now let's get right to it! Number one for the best GinTama lines ranking is Count Down! [Best GinTama Lines Ranking #1]

Gintoki Sakata You are a ghost.

You once tried to protect this country along with Shinsuke and the others.

You are obsessed and unable to let go.

You are a living ghost! There is no longer anything for you to protect! Ghosts should go back where they belong.

I'll play a requiem! The strings! Hey, tough guy! Take off those headphones, dammit! When did he get ahold of my strings? What're you waiting for? Fire! Clean out your ears and listen up! I've never once fought for the sake of this cheap country.

I couldn't care less if this country or samurai fell.

I have always Then, and now What I protect has never changed! Okay! So number one in the "Best GinTama Line Ranking" was Gintoki Sakata with, "Then, and now, what I protect has never changed!" Man, I'm awesome.

The main characters in a JUMP Anime always rule.

Even machine g*n b*ll*ts were swerving around me.

Now hold it right there! I mean, this This really is just a Count Down TV!! [Note: Count Down TV.

A late night Japanese music ranking show that is hosted by CG animated characters.

]

Yep! Gin-san never lies! Fine, you didn't lie, but you still tricked the audience! We got caught up in the flow and yelled "Down!" with you.

Is this the annual recap episode that we do right before the start of the Fall season? Exactly.

Man, we always manage to burn through the budget for the first two quarters by this time.

So we have to throw in a recap episode.

Will you stop with the graphic production details? We had a teensy bit of budget left over, so we were able to do this CG.

Well, that's only natural after all the alternate route bonuses we used.

That's right! The entire fourth year of the GinTama anime is like a bonus that came with the previous three years.

Don't be so brutal! Well, back to the subject at hand.

We'll continue with the best lines ranking! And when was the poll for this even done? It was a legitimate vote In Shonen JUMP How long ago was that?! Count Down! [Best GinTama Lines Ranking #2]

You idiot! Why do you always put all the burden on yourself? So you plan on being the bad guy all by yourself too? I know how you feel, Toshi About Mitsuba-dono! What a pity.

I'm sure Mitsuba will be sad, too.

To lose one of her old friends.

I really wanted to be on good terms with you people.

If I got the backing of the Shinsengumi, then I could run my business without any restrictions.

That's why I approached one of your relatives and even set out to marry her, but who knew she was that sick? So from the start, you just used her to get us on your side? I loved her.

As a merchant, I love things that will make me a profit.

But only as a tool.

I just want her to taste a bit of happiness like other people before she dies.

I won't call you a bastard.

I'm no better.

I've done more than my share of bad things.

And to top it off, I'm trying to k*ll the husband of a dying woman.

Sad, isn't it? So you can say, we're like two of a kind.

No wonder they call you the demon Vice-Chief.

I think you and I will get along well.

That's really an exaggeration.

I just want the girl I love to be happy.

Boy, Hijikata-san's great.

He knows how to be a man.

That was awesome.

Huh? Gin-san? You seem to have a problem with the ranking.

Damn right I do! Sheesh, why is he in second? He might act all cool and all, but he's just another comic relief character now! That's right.

Between his mayo obsession and Toshi, any serious line from him ends up sounding like a joke! Right! Uh, you people have no right to say that to Hijikata-san.

Besides, his best lines would be like: We've run out of mayonnaise!! Live happily, mayo! I-It It's stuck! Finally, I've got enough mayonnaise! You two really are evil.

That was a horrible selection! Well, I feel much better now, so here's the best line ranking, count Down! [Best GinTama Lines Ranking #3]

So this is the end of the line? Rather than be caught by the enemy, let us finish as warriors and slash our bellies.

Don't be stupid.

Stand up.

If you've got enough time to fantasize about your beautiful death, why don't you live your life beautifully to the end? Huh? Those lines sounded familiar, but we've never seen those images on TV? Zura and Gin-chan seemed really high quality too.

No worries.

No worries.

And don't be concerned about footage from last year's anime tour being mixed in.

Wait! Are we okay with this?! Doesn't that involve a bunch of copyright issues and other stuff we can't mention?! It's fine.

The producers are in their suits and explaining it to everybody right now.

It's not fine then! Then we'll continue the ranking after the commercials! This will keep dragging on.

Good evening to everyone watching Count Down GinTama.

This is Hitomi Takahashi and The b*at CRUSADERS! Our single did well in the Oricon ranking, so thanks for your support! And in closing, please listen to our song! Wo ai ni! A big thank you to Miss Hitomi Takahashi and the b*at CRUSADERS! Uh, how is this show even considered an anime at this point? Wrong! [Note: Referring to the stunt they pulled back in Episode #165]

After Gintamikey, there are no boundaries! You have a point.

Then we'll continue with the Best GinTama Lines Ranking! We'll play the fourth, fifth, and sixth place clips together! Count Down! [Best GinTama Lines Ranking #4-6]

He did pretty well for a human.

Hey, big fella.

It'll take more than a blow like thatto break my soul! You're finished now, bastards.

You've made an enemy of the entire Harusame g*ng! Soon, Harusame from throughout the universe will come to k*ll you.

Yeah? So what? You won't be around to see it.

Listen I don't care what you do somewhere else in the universe, but anywhere within reach of my sword, is my country! Don't you understand? This is what you call a battle of vengeance.

Avenging a k*ller? There's nothing to gain.

I know that.

But if I don't do anything now, I won't be able to live with myself.

Cut it out already! Stupid curlyhead! Wh-Wh-What's wrong, Kagura-chan? After all that complaining about the mayo freak, we end up with all these examples of you saying serious stuff! Are you okay with that? You don't care if this GinTama ranking is filled only with serious lines?! Y-Yeah, but I didn't make this ranking.

This was the united opinion of everybody watching GinTama.

Right, Shinpachi? No, Kagura-chan's exactly right.

I can't accept this.

And I doubt any of my lines are going to show up.

Hey, four-eyes! Don't backstab me! It'll feel more like GinTama with a little editing.

Then we'll do fourth, fifth, and sixth place again.

Count Down! [Best GinTama Lines Ranking #4-6]

It'll take more than a blow like thatto break my XXX! but anywhere within reach of my XXX, is my XXX! But if I don't do anything now, I won't be XXX to XXX with myself.

Hey! My awesome lines! If you beep those parts, it'll sound like I'm saying something obscene! That's the Gin-chan we know and love! Hell no, you XXX! Yeah, censoring words and images is one of the basics of GinTama.

Shut up, Ganbarist! [Note: Referring to the 1996 Anime "Ganbarist! Shun".

The title character was voiced by Shinpachi's voice actor.

]

Who are you calling Ganbarist?! And now to the seventh and eight place, along with the censored collection, set to Otsu-chan's music! Here we go! [Best GinTama Lines Ranking #7-8]

If I stop now, my XXXX will break.

My XXXX will break.

Until my XXX collapses, I will XXX my XXX standing tall! There's nothing to be scared of.

Because you're here with me.

I'm ready now.

So there won't be any turning back.

An indecisive big-wig can go to hell.

Because too much foul play can get real dangerous.

Now! Screw regulations and keep rollin' on.

To a fresh and new world.

Censorship can go suck it! Who needs any brakes? Censorship can go suck it! I only follow what's in my heart.

Censorship can go suck it! Not my fault if the apology was rewritten.

Censorship can go suck it! There's no turning back now.

I'll take everyone with me when I die, necromancer! Thank you Tsu Terakado-chan! We have two more lines left.

The ninth and tenth place ones.

Say, why did we start the countdown from one? Isn't it usually the other way around? Right? Don't you love how this show is fizzling out? How we obviously didn't plan ahead Don't even feel like making excuses anymore, huh? Ninth place is that usual one-liner.

Enjoy yourselves.

Count Down! [Best GinTama Lines Ranking #9]

Time to go, Gintoki.

You're Zura.

.

Kotaro Zura?! It's not Zura.

It's Katsura! Let's do this, Zura.

It's not Zura.

It's Katsura! Right, Zura? It's not Zura.

It's Captain Katsura! Oh, it's Zura.

It's not Zura.

It's Katsura.

It's not monk.

It's Katsura.

It's not Zura.

It's Katsura.

It's not Zura.

It's Zurako.

It's not Zura.

It's Katsura.

It's not Zura.

It's Katsura! It's not Zura.

It's Katsura! It's not Fruit Punch Samurai.

It's Katsura! It's not part-timer.

It's Katsura.

It's not you.

It's Katsura.

It's not Zura.

It's Matsu (Pine Tree).

It's not Zura.

It's Katsura.

It's not kid.

It's Katsura.

I'm not Lupin, I'm Zura.

Oops, I mean Katsura.

It's not Mr.

K.

It's Katsura.

It's not Mr.

K.

Zura.

It's Katsura.

It's not ****, it's Katsura! It's not Zura.

It's Katsura.

It's not crap, it's Mayuzom.

It's not rap, it's Katsu-rap.

It's not Mario.

It's Katsura.

It's not Zura, it's Katsuo.

It's not Capt.

Tsuba, it's Captain Katsura.

It's not Master.

It's Katsura.

It's not Zura.

It's Katsura.

It's not Zura.

It's Katsura.

I'm not okay and it's Katsura.

It's not Zura, it's Ka- It's not Zura.

It's Katsura.

It's not Zura.

It's Katsura.

It's not Zura-chi.

I'm Ill Smith.

Enough already! How many times does he need to introduce himself?! It stopped making sense about halfway through.

Like a guest that barfs and falls.

Don't you mean Gestaltzerfall? Well, only the tenth place one is left.

Whose line will take the last spot? Man, I can't wait to see.

I sense a glimmer of hope now that we're down to the tenth spot.

Then here's the final best line! Count Down! [Best GinTama Lines Ranking #10]

Give me a break, Mom Today's Sunday.

Yer such a moron! Today is Tuesday! You nitwit What if the Anti-Foreigner Faction stormed this place while you were goofing off?! Take this job seriously.

When do I ever not take this job seriously? The only one I never take seriously is you, Hijikata-san! Wait! You again?! Right? You can't hold one of these without me.

Bastard Do you have any idea how many complaints we got from the fans when you did a voice-over on Takasugi?! Two? Are you kidding me?! This is bad, Gin-san.

It just had to be Okita-san! Shinpachi, my tummy's starting to hurt.

I might need to go barf and fall.

Ah! Hold on, Kagura-chan! Shinpachi, I'll let you handle this.

What? Hey! Hold on! Uh, how am I supposed to end this? Allow me to handle this.

No worries.

Then I'll present my own version of the best GinTama lines ranking.

Count Down! What?! [Best GinTama Lines Ranking #10]

The only one I never take seriously is you, Hijikata-san! [Best GinTama Lines Ranking #9]

It's not Zura.

It's Katsura! [Best GinTama Lines Ranking #8]

Until my body collapses, I will live my life standing tall!! [Best GinTama Lines Ranking #7]

My soul will break.

[Best GinTama Lines Ranking #6]

But if I don't do anything now, I won't be able to live with myself.

[Best GinTama Lines Ranking #5]

But anywhere within reach of my sword, is my country.

[Best GinTama Lines Ranking #4]

It'll take more than a blow like thatto break my soul! [Best GinTama Lines Ranking #3]

If you've got enough time to fantasize about your beautiful death, why don't you live your life beautifully to the end? [Best GinTama Lines Ranking #2]

I just want the girl I love to be happy.

[Best GinTama Lines Ranking #1]

Then, and now, what I protect has never changed!! [Best GinTama Lines Ranking Hall of Fame]

Bansai.

You can't get attuned to my song? Yay, yay Now this is just ugly.

[Preview]

It existed long ago The ceiling may have been shut, but the moon existed back then.

A small, brave, and beautiful moon.

["It's Bad Luck to See a Spider at Night"]

[The heavens open.

Moonlight shining, back to Yoshiwara]

[he returns.

]

[See you next time.

]