Chris:
Last time on "total drama":
The teams went wild
With balloon animals -
And not the kind you think!
But in the end,
Team gih-noh-say-wuk went bust
And for the first time,
They had to send a member home.
So amy told everyone
That samey was lamey,
But samey posed as amy,
So amy took the blamey!
Shamey on samey!
Now let's start
The gamey!
It's time for
Total drama pahkitew island!
♪♪♪
♪ I wanna be...
I wanna be... ♪
♪ I wanna be famous ♪
♪ I wanna be...
I wanna be... ♪
♪ I wanna be famous ♪
(Whistling chorus)
Jasmine:
(Yawns)
Samey:
Hey, you going foraging
Without me?
Gee, amy. You've never gone
Foraging with me before.
That was something samey did.
I.e. Not you.
(Imitating amy)
Right. I mean, foraging? Ew!
I'd rather wear those shorts!
Jasmine:
There's the amy I know.
C'mon then.
I'm cool that jasmine knows
I'm not amy
Because we're pals!
As for everyone else,
I have to sound and look
Like my sister.
Shawn:
Hi-yah!
And that's how you
Hunt berries.
Dave:
I guess that's one way.
Jasmine:
Hey, shawn,
Wanna pick with us?
Dave:
Whoa!
I think that was a no.
You know how dating works?
First comes love,
Then comes marriage,
Then comes your brain
Being eaten by a zombie baby
That was hiding
In your pillow.
Call me crazy,
But I think outback
Amazon jasmine
With the cool accent
Has a thing for zombie nut
Shawn who doesn't bathe.
This place is weird.
Scarlett:
Careful! Raccoon poop.
(Romantic music plays)
(Echoes) are you all right?
Your vacant stare suggests
Some manner
Of neurological arrest.
How'd scarlett know
I don't like stepping in poop?!
Of course it means something -
Love!
Aw, but I can't hurt
Jasmine again!
She'll be devastated!
Samey:
Hey, rodney. Berries?
Uh... If you don't like
Berries...
We did find some nuts...
Amy says "hey"?
I say "hey" all the time!
Love is an arrow you can't dodge
And I am pierced!
(Gasps)
I've got girlfriends?!
Which of my true loves
Is my truest love?!
Rodney:
Is it just me,
Or does amy pick
Way better berries than samey?
(Frustrated growl)
Pretty sure they're the same.
Scarlett:
Perhaps you had an involuntary
Gustatory association
With samey
And unpleasant tastes.
Max:
Indeed!
Her hideous
Mal-proportioned face
Was spoiling the fruit!
Samey:
(Frustrated growl)
(Mic feedback squeals)
Chris: morning, campers!
It's time to start today's
Fun activity,
So get your butts
Over to the meeting area
Toute suite!
(Chuckles)
Chris:
Step right up, players!
Team gih-noh-say-wuk
To the right,
Team mu-skwuk to the left.
I'm saving you a seat,
Sugar!
At times my friendship with
Sugar has seemed tumultuous,
But I think
It's getting better.
I. Hate. Her.
Sugar:
I know what you're up to,
Singy-pants!
Gals who sit on the end
Always get less camera time.
Push over!
Oof! But I wasn't-
(Chuckles)
Nice try, ella.
Save your power plays
For the game.
But... All right.
It's time we separated
The brave from the liars.
Chris:
The game is truth or scare!
Topher:
Hoo-hoo-hoo!
Sounds nasty!
Once again, chris,
You've delivered the goods!
If I had a hat,
It would be off to you!
Yes.
Thank you, topher.
Now then... Every round,
A player is chosen at random.
It also chooses whether you'll
Be doing a truth or a scare.
Halo means truth,
Flames mean scare.
Get a scare and you'll have to
Perform a terrifying challenge!
(All gasp)
Don't worry, not all the scares
Will be scary.
Some will be disgusting!
(Whirring)
But in this case,
Amy has gotten a truth.
Chris:
This means she just has
To answer a question honestly.
But the answer will be
Revealing.
It will expose a dark secret
That could destroy her
In the eyes of her
Newly found friends!
Or not.
Whateves.
How will you know
If we're telling the truth?
For that,
We spared no expense.
Meet clucky,
The truth-seeking chicken!
No lie gets past this bird.
She's former cia
And runs her own law firm:
Buck, buck and bugawk.
If you have a secret,
This poultry polygraph
Will pluck it out.
Clucky:
Buck-bawk!
Chris:
Completing a challenge
Or telling a truth
Gets your team a point.
But if you fail a challenge
Or tell a lie,
Your whole team
Gets a shock.
Um, what do you mean
By shock?
Also, what are these metal
Collars chef's putting on us?
You just answered
Your question.
But let me make it
Even clearer...
(Fizzling,
Everyone yelps and screams)
Jasmine:
You tested these, right?
Yep, I just did...
And you're still alive.
Congrats.
Let's start the game!
Amy?
(Amy gulps)
Clucky: bawk-bawk-bugawk?!
Are you kidding?!
I'm a walking lie!
Ugh! I should have known
They had a polygraph chicken!
Chris:
Amy, who do you dislike most?
Bawk-baaawk bawk?
Okay-okay!
The person I hate most is...
(Cringing)
Amy!
All:
(Shocked gasps)
Buck-bawk?
(Then) buck-bawk.
Chris:
Clucky says...
That was a truth.
Topher:
You hate yourself?
Deep.
Care to explain, amy?
Samey:
Well... I... Uh...
Jasmine:
I'll explain it!
Jasmine, no, please-
Jasmine:
The truth is...
That samey...
Is not your fault, amy.
Don't hate yourself
For your sister's shortcomings.
You did what you could.
Topher:
No one's blaming you
For samey's weirdo-ness.
That girl was all bun -
No hotdog.
Reeked of failure!
(Sighs)
Okay. Okay.
Enough. I feel... Much better.
Thank you.
And next we'll have...
Rodney!
Chris:
Doing another truth!
And the question is...
In your opinion,
Who is the most attractive girl
On the island?
(Gasps)
Clucky:
Bugawk!
Uh, could I get
A different question?
I can't hurt those gals
Like that!
Just look at those
Loving faces!
You're running out of time,
Rodney.
I... Eh... Um... Uh...
If I pick one,
The others will know
Something's up!
I gotta pick someone else.
Someone so deranged
They'll know it's a joke!
But who?!
Duh! It's me!
Rodney:
Huh? Uh, yes!
Perfect.
It's sugar!
Clucky:
Bu-gawk!
(Angry squawking)
(Zapping,
All scream)
Chris:
Liar, liar, rodney's on fire!
I mean electrocuted.
(Chuckles)
And by fire,
That was truth!
Check your chicken!
Your chicken's broken!
Buck-bawk.
(Zapping,
Everyone screaming)
Dang chickens always think
They're smarter than me.
Part of being a good friend
Is knowing
When someone is in need
Of cheering up.
I'm sure rodney thinks
You're the second prettiest.
No shame in that.
Sugar:
What?! I ain't no runner-up!
Ella:
Oh, goodness no.
I was- I was only-
Calm down.
And ella, stop picking fights
With sugar.
But I wasn't.
I just-
Chris:
Up next...
Sky doing a scare!
Sky, to earn a point,
You will have to drink...
An entire jug...
Of mineral water.
Sky:
That's it?!
No problem!
You've got seconds.
Go.
(Small sips,
Gulps)
Dave:
What are you-
Really?!
Ella:
Oh, dear.
Oh my, oh my.
Sugar:
I drink maple syrup
Faster than that!
(Gasps)
Fifteen seconds left!
(All groan)
This is as fast
As I can go!
Shawn:
I got this!
Uh... What's the plan here?
No time!
You wanna win or not?!
It's called thirst-thrashing.
When zombies a comin',
You ain't got time to sip.
Half of it went up her nose,
But that still counts
As drinking!
Team mu-skwuk gets a point,
With ten seconds left!
Well done, sky!
Sky?
You know that feeling you get
When a volcano is about
To go off in your gut
And you have no idea
Which end's gonna blow?
(Stomach gurgles)
Yaaaa...
(Stomach gurgles)
It's a one-one tie.
But it looks like a contestant
Might get blasted off the island
Early...
And we won't even need
The cannon!
Stay tuned to find out
On total drama pahkitew island!
(Stomach gurgles)
(Gulps,
Little burp)
Jasmine:
Huh? I thought you'd get
At least ten feet of air.
Topher:
That's it?! C'mon!
Chris is trying to put on
An entertaining show here!
Chris:
Max! It is truth time!
Ugh! Has this beast
Had its sh*ts?
No. Max, for a point,
What do you fear?
I fear nothing!
(Zapping,
Pained yelps)
(Chuckles) not questioning
Your hosting skills, chris,
But max and rodney lied,
Not the rest of us!
Sorry,
You're a package deal.
Remember,
If one of you tells a lie,
You all pay the price.
And next up we have... Dave!
Sure.
I got nothing to hide.
Chris:
Doing a scare!
(Gulps)
All right, dave.
There are scary scares.
Then there are scarier
Scares.
And then there's this.
For a point, you must...
Kiss a person next to you.
Ever notice walkers look like
They're going for a kiss
Just before they eat
Your brains?!
Well, if it's this
Or a shock,
I guess we may as well...
I mean, if we have to.
Yesssssssssss!
Yes! Yes! Yes!
Okay, I mean we need to win
This challenge, so-
Right.
It's not like-
Yeah. It's just
Two people-
Hey! Chitty-chat-chatters!
Clock is ticking!
Sugar:
Quit squawkin'
And start peckin'.
(Stomach gurgles)
(Huge belch)
I can taste your burp
In my eyes!
Chris:
Times up!
And since your lips
Never actually touched-
(Zapping,
Everyone yelps)
Sky:
Sorry, guys. It must've been
The mineral water.
It had nothing to do
With the mineral water.
I belch when I'm nervous.
During tests...
Or when I'm near a guy
I really like-
No. No-no.
I don't like dave.
Well, not like-like.
I don't dislike him, I just-
It-it was the water.
Chris:
Next up... Shawn!
Doing... A scare!
Shawn, for the point,
You must pick your nose
And wipe it on the person
Sitting next to you.
Dave:
No... No! Noooo!
Snot rocket, fire!
Aaaahhhhhhh!
(Splat)
Wow! You are way too good
At that.
Months of practice.
Ya never know.
Yep. I'm okay.
Not freaking out.
Chris:
Impressive barrage, shawn,
But I'm afraid you were
Supposed to pick and wipe,
Not rocket.
Also, you only needed to get
The person next to you,
Not your whole team.
(Fizzling,
Shocked yelps)
At least it fried
The snot off.
Ella:
Well, hello,
My feathered friend!
Ella, if you could change
One thing about yourself,
What would it be?
Hmm... I would change
Whatever is stopping sugar and I
From becoming
The best of friends.
All:
Aww!
I firmly believe
We were meant to be close.
Grrr!
I firmly believe?!
I firmly believe?!
Clucky:
(Scared squawk)
That's pageant talk!
My talk!
You're goin' down,
Missy!
(Gasp)
(Restraining grunts)
Easy!
(Fizzling,
Shocked yelps)
Dave:
What was that for?
Chris:
For scaring clucky.
And after what ella
Just pulled,
I can only assume her answer
Was a lie.
Lie?!
Oh, but i-
Chris:
Enough!
(Fizzling,
Shocked yelps)
From here on in,
I'm gonna suggest better
Team-playing.
Maybe then the score
Will get higher than one-one.
Remember what's at stake:
The losing team will be
Sending someone home...
And I think I know who will be
Sent home if mu-skwuk loses.
Ohhhh.
But hey,
Anything can happen!
It's on
To the lightning round!
Put braces on a beaver.
(Screeching,
Fighting grunts)
(Ding)
If you could only save
One teammate,
Chris:
Who would it be?
(Stuttering in confusion)
(Fizzling,
Shocked yelps)
Chris:
Beautify a bear.
(Ding)
Chris:
Feed an iguana
With your mouth.
Jasmine:
(Disgusted grunts)
(Ding)
(Defeated groan)
(Fizzling,
Shocked yelps)
Chris:
Okay, sugar,
To get a point,
You must take this
Live tarantula and-
(Chomps and gulps)
Whoa! Whoa! Gah...
All you had to do
Was pet it.
Oh. Does this count?
Yeeaahh... Close enough.
Team mu-skwuk gets a point!
(Ding)
After all this pain and anguish,
You're still tied!
Makes it seem like it
Was all for nothing.
And while I could do this
All day -
Seriously,
I mean these are awesome! -
It's time
For the game to end.
(Sighs of relief)
Right after
The sudden death round!
(Cringe in fear)
A player from each team
Will go head to head
In a dual challenge.
Winner's team gets immunity.
Loser's team gets shocked -
And sends someone home.
Not again!
Jasmine:
Hey, this is for the game.
Let's show some support!
Max:
Ugh! Fine!
We believe in you,
You blubbering buffoon!
Please!
Not another truth question!
Please!
Rodney,
In the sudden death round,
Chris:
There are no truths,
Only scares.
Rodney:
Really?! Ha! Woo!
In your face, chicken!
You can never stun me again!
And guess what?!
I live on a farm
And I eat six eggs a day.
Six delicious eggs!
Clucky:
Buck, buck, buck-bawk.
Chris:
Easy, clucky!
Keep it professional.
For team mu-skwuk,
Will be... Ella!
Bring on the scares!
Um, yes,
Bring them, please.
The game is simple.
In each of these bags,
You will find
The opposing team's
Shock remote.
First to untie
The tightly knotted string,
Get the remote,
And shock the opposition
Wins the day.
Go!
Topher, jas, samey and max:
Go, rodney!
You can do it, rodney!
Sky, shawn and dave:
C'mon, ella. Do it, ella!
Sugar:
Shock her, rodney!
Shock her!
Dave:
If he wins,
We all get shocked.
It'd be worth it!
Oh no! My fingers
Are too dang big!
I undid mine easily enough.
Would you like some help?
Ella! Just press the button
And your team wins!
Oh, I can't.
It's just too mean.
Honestly, who could do
Such a thing-
Clucky:
Bwak! Bok!
(Fizzling,
Shocked yelps)
Clucky, no!
He's not worth it!
(Heavy breathing)
(Groans)
Chris:
What an interesting day!
Team mu-skwuk,
As winners of truth or scare,
You gain immunity.
Phew!
Chris:
You also get this week's
Fast food delivery,
Courtesy of humpty dumpty's
Meat shack.
"At humpty's,
All the king's horses
Feed all the king's men."
(Stomachs gurgle)
Heh... Or if you want,
Chef's makin' chicken.
Team gih-noh-say-wuk,
Time to vote one of you
Off the island.
(Disappointed sighs)
Thanks to me,
One of my swell teammates
Is gonna get voted off.
I wonder who?
Dave:
Soo... Crazy day, huh?
I mean, we almost kissed
Back there.
Sky:
Yep. Crazy.
I can't figure her out.
Is she into me or not?
I wish she'd just give me
A sign.
Sky:
(Huge belch)
'Scuse me...
Any sign at all.
Chris:
The following
Team gih-noh-say-wuk members
Are safe:
Topher, jasmine,
Max and amy.
Rodney you could be going home
Because you caused your team
To be shocked repeatedly
By failing to tell
The simple truth.
Scarlett, you could be
Going home
Because, well, 'cause you...
Um... Fine!
It's rodney.
Eat up!
(Dejected sigh)
I'm not surprised
That I'm the one leaving...
After playing with people's
Hearts the way I did.
If you mean by restarting them
Several times, then yes.
Chris:
But since I'm leaving,
I may as well come clean.
Jasmine? Scarlett? Amy?
Please understand...
(Deep breath)
This that you, I mean it's-
There's love-
And raccoon poop and "hey"
With all the shocking bugaawk-
Because chicken eye
Love girl island!
Three! Uh-oh? Yeah!
Hold that thought.
(Flying scream)
I think I just sunk
Someone's battleship!
Ten players left!
Find out which nine get to hang
While one goes bang!
Next time
On total drama pahkitew island!
Chris:
Next time on "total drama":
Our teams smash,
Crash and bash each other
In hopes
Of avoiding elimination.
I can't wait
To see this one!
Ooh! Painful.
Looks like fun, right?
Who will fly from the boom-boom
Buh-bye?
Find out on the next
Total drama pahkitew island!
05x17 - I Love You, I Love You Knots
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Canadian animated comedy of teenagers who compete in a reality show in parody of reality shows.
Canadian animated comedy of teenagers who compete in a reality show in parody of reality shows.