14x11 - (Don't Fear) the Reaper

[bunniefuu]

[JILLIAN EDWARDS' "I WON'T FALL" PLAYS]

[CHILDREN LAUGHING]

♪ Yesterday's ghost ♪

♪ Should be haunting me ♪

♪ But I've finally woken up

to who I'm supposed to be ♪

BAILEY: "On your deathbed, no one wishes they'd worked more."

- ♪ Walking in the golden hue ♪

- WOMAN: Miranda!

♪ I wanna give it back to you ♪

Miranda!

♪ I won't fall ♪

Miranda!

That's the trite, little phrase people trot out when they want to play hooky or spend too much money on vacation or shame working parents for missing their kid's soccer game for a board meeting.

♪ Oh-oh-oh-oh ♪

- Mom!

- [CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS]

- [LAUGHS]

- Don't post that!

My tie's not straight!

Oh, ho! You look fantastic.

- Definitely not that.

- Ahh.

But you know what matters even more for your History Day presentation?

- I'm prepared.

- That's right.

You researched and practiced.

Hard work is the recipe for success.

[EXAGGERATED FART SOUND]

[LAUGHS] Wh...

- [LAUGHING]

- What in God's name?

Fart Attack app.

I'm gonna bust it out during Robbie Uhr's presentation.

No, you will not!

Sabotaging the competition doesn't make you any better.

[EXAGGERATED FART SOUND]

Oh, come o...

[LAUGHTER]

That's so silly.

[LAUGHTER]

Okay. Your dad's picking you up after school, so we'll see you on Monday, okay?

- See you Monday.

- Mm.

- Knock 'em dead.

- Bye.

[SCHOOL BELL RINGS]

♪

"On your deathbed, no one wishes they'd worked more."

Tell that to the people who love their work.

[EXHALES DEEPLY]

So, today, I'm gonna climb flights of stairs.

All my gear on. -degree heat.

But, then again, I guess that's not really that...

- No.

I can't talk to you about my day?

You cannot. Because it's not cute.

What you're doing to my stomach lining.

[GROANS] Not cute.

You're giving me a permanent case of indigestion.

Miranda, how long are we gonna do this?

Just pull over right here.

I have a meeting at Seattle Pres.

Since when?

Are you playing calendar with me now?

You've been living another life off calendar.

Stop right here.

Okay, look. I'll, uh...

I'll see you at the...

Hello? Hel... Hel...

" flights of stairs?

In that heat? In that gear?!

You are a badass, Ben Warren."

[CHUCKLES] "Yeah, I know, right?"

[SIGHS]

[SIREN WAILING]

MR. NELLIGAN: Please. Please.

I-I don't think you're hearing me.

It's not so much a clot in my leg. It's like a-a pre-clot.

Mr. Nelligan, I cannot admit you for a pre-clot, because that's not a real thing!

Excuse me. Nurse?

I can feel it right under the surface, like a time b*mb waiting to...

Hello. I need a moment of your time.

We all need something, don't we?

Dr. Bailey? What are you doing here?

My name is Dr. Miranda Bailey.

I am Chief of Surgery at Grey Sloan Memorial...

Surgery is upstairs on four.

Okay, interrupt me again, I'm coming over that counter.

My name is Miranda Bailey.

I am Chief of Surgery at Grey Sloan Memorial, and I believe that I am having a heart attack.

[MONITOR BEEPING, INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS]

WOMAN: [DISTORTED] Miranda!

[OVERLAPPING INDISTINCT VOICES]

BEN: [DISTORTED] What, I can't talk about my day?

Miranda, how long are we gonna do this?

Good news, ma'am. It doesn't look like a heart attack.

May I have that?

I see you are a doctor, so I'm sure you know that people can confuse heart att*cks with basic indigestion or reflux...

I'm not confused. Give me that.

[WOMAN ON P.A. SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]

Run a -lead EKG.

You could be missing a posterior infarct.

Well, my cardio chief told me...

I'll be the chief of my own cardio, and I'm telling you what I need is...

[SIGHS] Here.

For a posterior EKG, you want to put leads here... and here...

and...

Here. Turn around.

Turn around! Here.

Well, don't just stand there!

Now run it again!

[MACHINE WHIRRING]

Well?

Nothing.

I'm telling you, Doctor.

The EKG looks fine.

But how about I take a family history while we wait for the cardiac enzymes?

We find out if there's something else going on.

How about you go away now? And bring me whomever is in charge?

ELENA: Miranda!

Miranda Bailey!

You have three seconds to get inside this house before I come looking for you!

Three! Two!

One!

Now, what did I say about coming in before the street lights?

That if I wasn't inside before the first flicker, you'd be on me like white on rice, on a paper plate, in a snowstorm, in Antarctica.

And are the lights on?

I'm sorry, but I was just reading in a tree. I promise.

Stuck up in a tree is no place for a little girl.

Especially when they have a perfectly good porch swing on the front of their house, where I can see you.

Yes, ma'am.

Yeah, I need you to cover my service.

I'm not feeling well.

I thought I'd stay home rather than make my sick patients sicker.

"Do no harm" and all that.

Well, what's wrong? Are you...?

Uh, Mrs. Woo is coming in for a regular screening colonoscopy.

Everything's in the chart.

And Mr. Izikoff needs an ERCP.

Can you do that?

WOMAN ON P.A.: Dr. Maxwell.

Paging Dr. Larry Maxwell to the ER.

You sure you're okay?

I'm sick! You want the gory details?

I'm trusting you'll handle it. Gotta go!

[BEEP]

Chief Bailey.

[CHUCKLING] Chief Maxwell.

We here at Seattle Presbyterian know that you have a choice when it comes to your health, and I'm delighted, with all your Harper Avery wins and national recognition, that when you need quality care, you come to us.

You talk to a woman having a heart attack this way?

Believe me, if you were having a heart attack, I would not.

So you're taking your intern's diagnosis over mine?

I'm taking the H&P, normal EKG, and negative rapid troponin.

Miranda, we're running a full cardiac enzyme panel for good measure, but trust me... it'll be normal.

My clinical judgment tells me you're all good.

I most certainly am not "all good."

I have nausea, heartburn.

Any big stressors in your life lately? Any big changes?

- Do not go down that road with me.

- What road is, uh...

The road where a woman shows up in the ER with physical symptoms and you decide that it must be that she's not able to handle all her feelings.

No, this is not about anxiety.

My secret heart doesn't need fixing.

My actual heart needs fixing.

Are you sure you're not experiencing any unusual levels of stress?

[GROANS]

- You're fired.

- This man is dead!

Miranda, just get in the car.

I'm gonna take care of myself.

[BEEPING]

I need $ million.

[SHOUTING]

I am having a heart attack.

And I'm not going anywhere until you do a full cardiac work-up and prove it.

WOMAN ON P.A.: Paging Dr. Anderson to Labor and Delivery.

Whatcha in for?

Uh, heart attack.

Mm. Whatcha workin' on?

Work.

No wonder you had a heart attack.

Sorry. Too soon?

I am Chief of Surgery at Grey Sloan Memorial, and my work doesn't stop just because... they want to take their sweet time with their work-up!

Wow. Chief of Surgery.

Look at you. Burning it down.

My work ethic sucks.

Drove my parents crazy.

I'm just grateful I had a temp job when they died.

[LAUGHING]

What are you in for?

Broken femur. And a nasty road rash.

But, you know, that what's I get for pushing my Kawasaki to on Route .

Needless to say, frequent flyer.

[SCOFFS]

What, you not a fan of hogs?

Life is a gift, one that I show my appreciation for by not recklessly speeding through mountain roads on hogs or anything else for that matter.

I wore a helmet!

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

Now, you want to talk reckless?

- Skydiving in Costa Rica.

- Ooh.

That's reckless.

Plane almost lost a wing on the way up.

Hell of a rush, though.

If you say so.

So no interest?

Zero.

Not even...

Not one iota.

Not buying it. It's human nature.

Everyone has the need to be a little bit reckless.

[BICYCLE BELL DINGING]

[BIKE CLATTERS]

Ouch! Dang it!

Miranda! Oh, my Lord!

Ohh!

I'm okay. I just scraped my elbow.

Why on Earth weren't you riding with your training wheels?!

Because I'm in junior high!

And all the other kids pick on me for using training wheels.

Like they pick on me for wearing high waters.

Well, I don't want your hem getting caught up.

And we don't need you tripping, falling, and busting your head.

I know how to walk.

Come on in here. We gonna clean this up.

WOMAN ON P.A.: Paging Nurse Alvarez.

You seem agitated.

She's having a heart attack and you're not helping her.

That's agitating.

Thank you.

Let's discuss diet and exercise.

Any significant changes lately?

[EXHALES SHARPLY] Um...

A few years back, my levels were a little high.

I got them under control.

They've been steady ever since.

I take my steps, drink my green drinks...

So no spicy foods or...?

You went to Yale Medical School, as I recall.

- Mm-hmm.

- Ivy League.

Is there actual ivy there or is that just a thing?

Dr. Bailey, I would rather discuss your health than my education.

But, yes. There is actual ivy.

It's not just a thing.

Oh. Well, then.

I learned something new today.

Which is more than you can say for your days at Yale.

Because apparently your teachers didn't get the memo that women's heart att*cks don't manifest the way they do in men.

They're not all chest-clutching, vomiting, "help, my arm is numb," boom... floor drop.

Look. Just... Just give me a cardiac stress test, Dr. Maxwell.

Dr. Bailey, I can tell y...

Just give her the damn stress test, Maxwell.

[SIGHS]

Any medications you take regularly?

Um, other than statins and anti-depressants to manage OCD, no.

Hm.

[BREATHES DEEPLY]

Everything's under control. We're good.

BEN: You good, Miranda?

I put my hands in those patients, and they died.

I feel so... [SOBBING] dirty.

RICHARD: Accept that you have a disease, Bailey.

Accept help.

Don't do that.

Do what?

I am a sci-fi-loving African-American woman in her s

with a stubborn husband, a beautiful son, and no pets because they smell like feet.

And I have a big job where I do big, lifesaving, miracle-working things...

where I lead others so that they can do their big, lifesaving, miracle-working thing.

And, yes, I have obsessive-compulsive disorder.

I am not ashamed of that.

But it's not my story.

It's just one piece.

And if you continue to look at just that one piece... if you check the "mental illness" box and refuse to look at anything else... then I'm not gonna live long enough to finish the rest of my story.

Give me the cardiac stress test, Dr. Maxwell.

Miranda, you do not need a stress test.

Okay, then I want a second opinion.

[SIGHS]

If you're not happy with your care here, you're free to leave.

Oh, and drop dead in the parking lot?

No. That is not how my story ends.

Second opinion. Please.

And preferably not a Yale grad!

All that ivy seems to have poisoned your brain!

MORGAN: Ha! You tell 'im!

[SIGHS]

If something happens to me, do not let them hook me up to anything.

And if something happens to me, hook me up.

I want extraordinary measures.

The more extraordinary, the better.

Seriously.

- Seriously.

- Seriously?

Dr. Bailey. I'm Dr. Gregory.

Finally! I've been waiting for the stress test and cardiac consult for the last half-hour.

Well, I am here for a consult, but I'm not a cardiologist.

I am a psychiatrist, and I was hoping that we could talk.

♪

[SIRENS WAILING IN THE DISTANCE]

[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS]

[WOMAN ON P.A. SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]

[CELLPHONE RINGING]

[CLICK]

Dr. Bailey?

Yeah, I need you to meet me in the pit.

I'm on my way. Not our pit.

The pit at Seattle Presbyterian.

Seattle Presbyt...

Sh... No, no. Don't say it out loud.

And don't tell anyone you're coming.

Just get here. Fast. That's an order.

Also a request.

I'll be right there.

[SIGHS]

Let's talk about your home life.

[GROANS]

You have a husband, yes?

Yes. A husband who is a doctor.

Was a doctor. Now he's a firefighter.

It's not easy to be the wife of a first responder, knowing your loved ones run into situations that most run away from.

He is not the reason I'm having a heart attack.

But is that the reason that he's not here?

'Cause he's fighting fires, or...?

Okay, Dr. Gregory, with all due respect to your field of medicine, I need you to understand that every second we waste, I'm losing heart muscle.

My vessels are constricting.

My heart is being damaged.

I'm a doctor. You should, at the very least, acknowledge that.

Fair enough, Dr. Bailey.

Well, then, if you'll humor me, I'd like to ask you for a consult.

I have a patient... a-a woman who has a big job with big responsibilities.

Manages life-and-death scenarios on the daily.

She also has a history of mental illness.

And I have assessed limited coping skills.

I see no data to support her self-diagnosis despite repeated tests.

And on top of that, I see no support system in place.

No friends or family in sight.

Dr. Bailey, if you were this woman's doctor and you were looking at her chart, what would you think?

[INHALES SHARPLY]

% of women who die suddenly from coronary heart disease had no previous symptoms, and women of color are at a far greater risk.

So if I were consulting on the patient you describe, I would take into consideration statistics that would never even occur to people who look like you.

And I do have a support system.

And a beautiful child who had a history presentation this morning and who is now on his mid-morning break.

So if you'll excuse me, we're done here.

[MIRANDA SCREAMS]

What's wrong?! Are you hurt?!

- I got in! I got in!

- Full scholarship to Wellesley!

[LAUGHS] Blue pride, baby!

[LAUGHS] Congratulations, honey.

hours and minutes away!

Are you sure it's your first choice?

Mom, are you serious?

Harriet Stratemeyer Adams.

Cokie Roberts. Nora Ephron.

Hillary Rodham Clinton!

I'm going to a school of the greats.

But it's near Boston.

Can you be happy for me?

For once?

Hi, honey. Hey, how'd it go?

Because I'm your mom and I get to know all the things. Go.

Wha...

A standing ovation from all the teachers?

Ohh.

I am so proud of you, Tuck.

I'm so very proud.

[LAUGHS]

Because I'm your mother and I get to say it as many times as I want to.

Y... Yeah. No. Hey, go to class!

Okay. Hey, and be good for your dad this weekend.

I love y...

[CELLPHONE CLICKS]

♪

♪

[SOFTLY] Please. Please.

[MORGAN GASPING]

[MORGAN GROANING]

[GASPING]

BAILEY: I need some help in here!

[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS]

[SIREN WAILS IN DISTANCE]

Well, this is a s-surprise.

Yeah, I, um... I-I'm here for a consult.

Another doctor called me. For a consult.

Well, I-I'm a following up on something for a colleague.

Oh, another surgeon?

Excuse me. The family waiting area is down that hall.

We're doctors.

Yeah, uh, following up on calls we got from your ER.

Then can I help you find someone?

- Dr. Bailey.

- Miranda Bailey.

I don't see a Dr. Bailey working here today.

Uh, check patient records.

I can't share that information.

HIPAA and all.

But I'm sure you knew that, Doctors.

Mm. She's my mom.

Uh, Miranda Bailey is my mother.

You're her husband?

Uh, no.

Um, but s-she's my daughter.

B-But he's married to my mom, Miranda Bailey.

[BOTH CHUCKLE] That's right.

Bed number three.

- Thank you.

- Thank you.

Probably should have led with husband, huh?

Okay. Just don't mention that you called her your mother.

No, she had me very, very young.

[MONITOR BEEPING RAPIDLY]

BAILEY: Call a code blue!

Hey! Uh...

- Crash cart coming in!

- She's coding!

She had a broken femur!

May have thrown a clot!

All right. Hold on. Hold on.

Hold on, Morgan. Hold on.

V fib. Charge to .

- .

- Clear!

[THUMP]

Charge to .

- Charged.

- Clear!

[MONITOR BEEPING]

We got her back.

[BREATHING HEAVILY]

[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS]

Oh, my God, Miranda.

Ohh! Damn. I'm glad to see you.

Bailey!

Hey! Miranda?

Miranda!

- Bailey.

- Miranda?

If you didn't tell him, then how the hell did he figure out where...

- I figured it out because I have never known you to take a sick day, ever.

And because I heard them page Dr. Maxwell when you called me.

And none of that matters.

What matters now is that you are being hooked up to an EKG with cardiac symptoms in someone else's hospital.

- The hell's going on here?

- Dr. Maggie Pierce, Chief of Cardiothoracic Surgery at Grey Sloan, and I'm saving your patient's life.

Look at this EKG! Elevated STs...

I know what an MI looks like.

Clearly, you don't, because she has been sitting here for hours and you completely missed it.

Dr. Bailey, you know as well as I do that your previous EKGs did not show these changes.

Webber. Glad to see the Grey Sloan team decided to join us.

Dr. Pierce needs to get Dr. Bailey to cath lab STAT.

I need to open up the blockage before it's too late.

Let's load her with Plavix.

You don't have privileges here.

Now get out of the way so I can help your friend.

Let's go.

♪

- damn years.

- Do you have it in you?

When I said I do, I meant I do.

Even though I know what you're gonna be like in years.

And what am I going to be like, Dr. Warren?

Bossy. [LAUGHS]

Ah. Like you're gonna be some walk in the park.

[CHUCKLES]

[MONITOR BEEPING]

[YELLING]

MAXWELL: What is it?

Are you feeling any...

Why is it that men only listen to women after they've done something wrong?

Let's just hold still so we can get this done.

You have a wife?

I have access to the LAD.

Y'all. Don't. Listen.

Princess Leia knows what I'm talking about.

When they went on that planet with the... the... Ewoks!

Yeah.

And if Han and Luke had listened to Leia, they could've avoided a lot of misery.

I'm just sayin'.

And... we're... done.

Ewok.

You're welcome, Dr. Bailey.

♪

I know she'll be fine. She's Bailey.

She's unstoppable.

You can't slow her down.

I'd like you to slow down.

Maybe have a seat.

I checked her charts, and her first troponin levels were normal, so this hasn't been going on for very long.

Long enough for us to have noticed.

[SIGHS]

Between this and Amelia, I...

I mean, we're always so busy running around taking care of everyone else.

Maybe we're not checking in on each other enough.

Oh, God.

Are you dying, too?

[SCOFFS] No. No one's dying.

Right. I... Right. Okay.

Where's Ben?

If Bailey wanted him here, he'd be here.

Are you okay?

Me?

I'll be fine when she's fine.

So we're gonna sit here with you wearing that terrified look on your face, for a respectable amount of time, so that Dr. Baylow and her friends can assume you're having your behind handed to you on a platter!

You're gonna make a hell of a surgeon, Dr. Bailey.

Lose the smile.

Okay, you're stable.

The cath procedure went well.

They stented your LAD.

And as soon as you're up for it, we want to transfer you to Grey Sloan and admit you to Maggie's service.

No, no. I'm not being transferred.

No. Everyone knows me at Grey Sloan.

They'll make too big a deal.

A heart attack is a big deal, Bailey!

When was the last time you called in to work sick?

I have, on occasion, when necessary.

Mm-hmm. Pierce?

Never. Perfect-attendance award since fourth grade.

- I'm not about to blow that now.

- Exactly.

Pierce is the youngest female cardio chief.

I am the first woman to become Chief of Surgery.

We didn't get to where we are by calling in sick or showing our bellies or admitting weakness.

No one is gonna think any less of you.

Okay, when you came back from being electrocuted, it was All Hail the Conquering Hero.

Nobody doubted your ability to come back.

- Miranda, this is not...

- No, do not "Miranda" me.

This is a battle you've never had to fight.

It's taken me way too long to feel tall there.

And I'll be damned if

I'm gonna let a blocked artery take me down a peg.

Will you at least let us call Ben?

Let him know you're all right?

Is this really something you want to keep a secret?

Your mother isn't trying to hold you back.

She's trying to keep you safe.

She's trying to keep you alive, the way she couldn't keep your sister alive.

I had a sister?

It was before you were even born.

Her name was Danielle.

She lived two months.

SIDS.

We felt helpless.

Took me a long time to understand it wasn't our fault.

To forgive myself.

But your mother never could.

So when you were born, she swore she'd never let anything bad happen to you.

Every single day, she lives with the fear of losing you.

Hmnh. No transferring.

And no calling my husband.

I'll be fine.

I will rest and recover and be back to work by tomorrow.

So if you think you're keeping me out that contest, you got another thing coming.

- Dr. Bailey...

- No. I-I've made up my mind!

What happens at Seattle Pres stays at Sea...

[GASPS]

- [MONITOR BEEPING RAPIDLY]

- Her pressure's dropping.

I need an intra-aortic balloon pump tray STAT!

Okay. Someone page Maxwell! Now!

Ohh.

Okay. Just breathe.

- [WHEEZING]

- Breathe normal.

Miranda. Breathe normal. Relax.

MAXWELL: Hold on, Dr. Bailey.

Start dopamine at five mikes per kig per minute.

She could have a coronary dissection.

Maybe. Her artery was extremely torturous.

Maybe if you had diagnosed her before she was actively having a heart attack, you could've taken your time with the procedure instead of having to rush through it!

I followed the protocol for ischemic heart disease.

Did you do a cardiac stress test?

[EXHALES SHARPLY]

If you had, you would've seen this long before it became emergent.

Now not only has your stent failed, but we have to get her up to the O.R. immediately.

- We?

- [BAILEY WHEEZING]

They're talking about doing an emergency C-section.

BAILEY: They can talk all they want.

I'm not going to Mercy West.

This baby is not coming out.

- I need a ride.

- You could lose it. You know this.

Things just happen.

No! The world just doesn't happen!

Okay? It's not on God! It's on me!

- Stop it! Stop it.

- [SOBBING]

Okay, you're right. Cars are not safe for children.

Okay? Neither are bookcases or squirrels.

They're all gonna get your baby.

You feel this way because you are a parent.

It'll pass. Mostly.

Some of it never will.

No! Oh, no! No, no! No!

The elevators aren't working!

Turn the elevators back on!

Turn them back on!

Oh! Damn it!

No, no, no. Keep breathing.

The IABP will get you stabilized, okay?

MAXWELL: Get her straight to the O.R. Prep her for a repeat angio and sternotomy.

A sternotomy?! N-No. No way.

Dr. Pierce, she's likely going to need a CABG.

Not in two days or two hours, but now.

If you open up her chest, you will be putting her through hell for no reason.

Angioplasty is no longer an option.

Do the graft via keyhole procedure.

It's far less invasive.

It's a -inch incision, max.

You can't. You don't know how.

A conventional approach is the safest.

Says the man who ignored his patient for half the day, insisted that she was wrong, and now put her in this position, which she should've never been in, in the first place.

So please step aside and give me privileges.

Huh.

Larry, we've known each other for a long time, so you can trust me.

If you give Dr. Pierce privileges, you will be extremely happy that you did.

For old time's sake?

Then in a few days, we can laugh about the whole thing on the golf course.

My treat.

Fine. I'll do this for you, Richard.

- But I'm there the whole time.

- Okay, let's go.

- Let's go, everybody.

- Need some help.

Come on.

- It's okay.

- It's gonna be okay.

- It's okay.

- [WHIMPERS]

[SIGHS] Mom, we've been through this.

You can't become a surgeon unless you go to medical school.

I'm saying... speech pathology.

It's still a helping profession.

Plus, you can make your own hours, which is no small thing when starting a family.

Speech pathology is boring.

And what's the matter with boring?

Being a surgeon is the highest-stress job you could have.

And I don't want you k*lling yourself driving home after a -hour week.

That's just no way to live.

It's not healthy. It's not safe.

I'm not Danielle!

William...

BAILEY: I... I'm so sorry, Mom.

Surgery makes me happy.

I need you to get happy for me.

Look at me.

Look at the Mandy Bailey that you've raised.

Look. I know I'm not Danielle.

And I know you miss her, and I know you're scared.

But I'm not.

I'm happy. And I'm not afraid.

Please let me live the life that I know I'm supposed to live.

[GASPING]

[BAILEY WHEEZING]

Bailey? Bailey, you all right?

Let's get her intubated STAT.

I'm gonna go scrub.

Dr. Pierce!

Call Ben. Call Ben.

I need my husband. Call my husband.

♪

[SIREN WAILS]

You know what? Uh, better make it two.

Rough morning?

flights of stairs carrying pounds.

I'm tired, and I'm hungry.

Four more hours to go.

[CELLPHONE RINGING]

- You got it?

- Uh, yeah.

Next.

Dr. Webber.

♪

MAGGIE: I've dissected the internal mammary.

- Now I'm going...

- I'm Chief of Surgery, bot an intern you have to walk through the procedure.

- Wow.

- Wow?

Yeah. Wow.

Wow. You are infuriating.

Wow. You are arrogant.

Wow. Dr. Bailey deserved so much better than you.

You'd rather cut someone open stem to stern than be bothered to learn something new.

Dr. Pierce, I understand you're upset, but this is...

I'm not upset. I am furious.

And I am grateful.

I am grateful that Dr. Bailey fought for herself like she does for her patients every single day.

And I am furious that she even had to.

[MONITOR BEEPING RAPIDLY]

- She's in V-fib.

- Damn it! Internal paddles.

[PADDLES WHINE]

Clear.

[BEEPING CONTINUES]

- Excuse me. Pardon me.

- Whoa!

- Excuse me.

- Hey!

[CAR HORNS HONKING]

♪

♪

Where is she?

Oh. She's in the O.R.

Pierce is doing a keyhole CABG to fix the damage.

How much damage?

We won't know until she's done.

There's nothing we can do but wait.

She said it was indigestion!

♪

No concern we'll end up just friends?

That what you're looking for?

No.

Me neither.

I'm dating Dr. Bailey.

I know the drill. I know you.

Oh, maybe it's a phrase.

"My question to you." Anybody?

- How many letters?

- .

BEN: No. It's . Count again.

I just counted.

What, you have X-ray vision from across the room?

"Will you marry me" is "my question to you."

And the reason why that it's so easy is because I made the crossword.

The phrase has letters.

"Will," , "you," , "marry," , "me."

[EXHALES DEEPLY]

You know, Miranda is one of the most stubborn, pigheaded women I know.

Amen.

Brilliant mind. Terrible cook.

[LAUGHS] Double amen.

But also the strongest person I've ever met.

Damn straight.

That feeling you're having right now?

The waiting, wondering whether she's gonna make it?

The not knowing eating at your insides?

That's what you're asking her to do every morning you walk out your door.

How is she?

Oh, well, w-we're still waiting.

What's... What's all this?

Ohh.

Wagyu beef brisket sandwiches.

- Garlic mashed potatoes.

- Wow.

Mm-hmm. Oh, I will not have you drinking that swill.

I can't believe you made all this.

Child, please.

I had my driver pick it up.

Well, come on, fellas. Feed your faces.

Come on, honey. Mwah.

You don't get to make decisions on your own without a heads-up anymore.

You don't say, "Maybe I'll apply to be an intern.

We'll see how it goes.

But for now, it's my little secret between me and me."

That's not your life anymore.

When you're sharing your life with a person, you talk to them.

You think with them.

You make decisions with them.

You are loyal to them.

You are not a free agent anymore. Do you understand me?

Does this mean we're still getting married?

How you feeling?

Fine. Do I know you?

Oh. I-I'm sorry. No.

Uh, I'm Miranda Bailey's friend.

She'll want to know how you're doing.

I feel like I got charged by an angry rhino.

That actually happened to me once. In Namibia.

Huh.

Doctors said, uh, your friend saved my life.

She did.

She should seriously work on that addiction of hers.

Addiction?

Never stops working.

Ah.

Bad for the heart.

Indeed.

Tell her I said so.

Hold up.

A-Am I allowed to ask how she's doing?

Seeing as how she saved my life and all.

You're awake.

Good. You look good.

[GRUMBLING]

- Well, not good-good, but...

- [CHUCKLES]

Um, I was able to bypass the LAD with a graft.

You'll be back to bossing us around in no time.

[CLEARS THROAT]

[CHUCKLES] Thank you, Dr. Pierce.

♪

♪

I thought I lost you.

Not a chance.

You call me.

- I know.

- No, you...

[VOICE BREAKING] Call me.

♪ Well, you almost had me fooled ♪

Um...

Talked to my boss down at the fire station.

Told him I'm done.

- ♪ Nothing without you ♪

- I'm done, Miranda.

Mm. Benjamin Warren.

♪ I can thank you for how strong I have become ♪

- Call him back.

- I'm sorry?

♪ 'Cause you brought the flames and you put me through hell ♪

You fighting fires terrifies me.

Life is... terrifying.

But I could die of a heart attack and you could die crossing the street tomorrow.

♪ Prayin' ♪

Life is too precious to waste doing anything less than what makes us happy.

♪ I hope you find your peace ♪

You get to be happy.

[CHUCKLES]

Just promise me one thing.

♪ Prayin' ♪

Hm?

[CHUCKLES] Anything.

Mm. Build me a tree house.

I'm guessing those pain meds are working.

Steal yourself one of those fancy fireman's ladders and build me a tree house I can read in.

A girl needs some peace to read a good book.

♪ And you said that I was done ♪

Highest tree you can find.

♪ Well, you were wrong, and now the best is yet to come ♪

Highest tree I can find.

BAILEY: It's not about whether you spend your life in a board room, your bedroom, or on a beach with a Mai Tai in Maui.

When you look back on your life, the only thing that matters is...

Did you spend it doing what you love?

With the people you love?

ELENA: Hello?

Were you happy?

Mom.

Mandy! I was just about to call you.

You know Shari-Lynn down on Dogwood Road?

She and her daughter went to Memphis on a road trip, for God knows what, and stayed in a terrible hotel.

Car broken into. Room broken into.

Oh, it was an awful mess. And for what?

For Graceland? [SCOFFS]

Tell me you aren't having delusions about a road trip with Tuck any time soon.

Mandy? Are you still there?

Miranda, what's wrong?

I'm hurt, Mom.

I-I got hurt.

I had a heart attack.

♪

And it was scary.

But I'm okay.

♪

I had surgery.

And I'm going to be okay.

I know.

I know you are.

You are my Mandy.

Mm-hmm.

♪ I hope you're somewhere prayin' ♪

Did you make the most of this beautiful, terrifying, messed-up life?

♪ I hope your soul is changin' ♪

Did you let go of all the things that held you back?

♪ Changin' ♪

♪ I hope you find your peace ♪

So you can hold on to what matters most?

♪ Falling on your knees ♪

♪ Prayin' ♪