16x04 - RDR Live!

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "RuPaul's Drag Race". Aired: February 2, 2009 – present.*
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RuPaul plays the role of host, mentor, and head judge for this series, as contestants are given different challenges each week.
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16x04 - RDR Live!

Post by bunniefuu »

- [singing] MTV

- Previously on
"RuPaul's Drag Race"...

- This is my older sister.

- Older? - Oh!

- We're both
competitive, and I think

she's gonna throw me
into the crocodiles.

- We are having a ball.

[all cheering]

You need to create an
outfit using only menswear.

- Oh, we are lip-synching
this week, bitch.

- Girl, you in danger, girl.

- Nymphia, you're the winner
of this week's challenge.

[all cheering]

Geneva Karr,
Hershii LiqCour-Jete,

Mhi'ya Iman Le'Paige, your peers

have rated you as the
bottom queens of the week.

- I am f*cking pissed off.

These f*cking perras.

- Geneva Karr,
shantay, you stay.

Hershii, sashay away.

[dramatic music]

- Ugh.

- Ooh, girl.

- Oh, my God.

- Hershii has gone home,
and we're breathing

a sigh of relief that
we weren't the first to go.

And at the same time,
like, Hershii was my friend.

- It says, whiplash.

Love, Hershii.

- Whiplash, whiplash.

- There's a lot of emotions
going through my head,

because Hershii's one of
the persons that I got close to.

But you know, I did
what I got to do.

I definitely did not
deserve to be in the bottom.

I mean, the outfit
speaks for itself.

I think these queens
are shady because they

saved Mirage when Mirage
should have been in the bottom.

And I can see how they're
gonna start playing the game.

And that's OK, because
I can play a game too.

- Nymphia,
condragulations, miss diva.

- Do I get my leche now?

[laughter]

- Wait, wait, wait,
how does it feel?

- It feels crazy to actually,
like, win something of $5,000.

[cheering]

- Q, how do you feel?

- A little bummed
by the results,

honestly, because my outfit
was all unconventional materials

and also I got, like,
perfect critiques

and I don't think,
like, Nymphia did.

[tense music]

- She said, I almost
won once again.

- I know.
- Always a bridesmaid.

- It's like the second
time in the top.

It stings not winning,
but RuPaul, it's OK.

You made the wrong decision.

I forgive you.

Just don't let me
lose next time.

- So during "Untucked"
there was a little bit

of a tense moment between
my new sister and my old sister.

- Uh-huh.

- Younger sister.

[laughter] - OK.

- I gave a little bit of
an unsolicited, you know,

opinion slash critique
on Amanda's look.

- The way I remember it is
that Plane came up to Amanda

and said, "Quite
frankly, I don't like

anything you've done
or who you are."

[laughter]

- Listen, listen.

- What's up?

- As we get to know each other,

I hope you're able to
sort of sway my opinion

on how you've been looking.

[all exclaiming]

It's no tea. It's no tea.

- The shade... ahh!
[laughter]

Adrenaline was flowing.

You know, cocktails
were also flowing.

And...

- Oh, now she blames it
on the edit and the alcohol.

[all exclaiming]

- No, no, no, no.

I don't need to blame
it on anything.

I'll take responsibility
for what I said, baby.

I do want to apologize for
giving my unsolicited feedback

to you when it wasn't needed.

- Or even relevant
to the conversation.

- Sure.

- She honestly can
eat my f*cking ass.

- It was the way that
you came up to her

and not having
the same relationship

that we do with her.

- Right. - You did say

the same thing that
we have said to her.

[laughter]

To be fair.

It didn't feel the same
because you didn't

have that same relationship.

- Once I get to know
you a bit more,

maybe I can, you know,
shade you in a bit more

of a fun way instead of a...

- Well, I hope you stay
around long enough to do so.

[all exclaiming]

- Likewise, girl.

Likewise.

Here's the deal.
You can't unring a bell.

Now it's just a matter of,
how can we move forward?

Are we each other's
favorite people now?

No. Does it matter to me?

No.

Let the shade begin.

- Don't look at this.

You'll see the safety
pins in the back, baby.

- [singing] "RuPaul's Drag Race"

The winner of
"RuPaul's Drag Race"

receives a one year supply

of Anastasia Beverly
Hills cosmetics

and a gag-worthy grand
prize of $200,000

served by Cash App

with extra special guest
judge Sarah Michelle Gellar.

[singing] RuPaul's Drag Race

May the best drag queen win

Best drag queen win

[upbeat music]

- Q. [laughs]

[all singing]

- It's a new day in the Werk
Room, and I'm feeling p*ssy,

I'm feeling c**t,
and I am doing my best

to stay as far away from
Plane Jane as possible,

because I don't want
to get in trouble

for fighting her bitch ass.

- I'm ready to put
the ball behind me.

[laughter]

- Are we putting drama
behind us as well?

[all exclaiming]

- I'm not quite so sure yet.

- We'll see how things play out.

I think it's safe
to say I'm here

to shine like the big,
bright star that I am.

So...
- Stars are full of gas, baby.

[laughter]

- Hello, hello, hello.

[all cheering]

My queens.

- Hey. - Hi.

- America's next drag
superstar can't rely on

her good looks alone.

She's got to develop
her character.

So back by popular demand,
for this week's maxi challenge,

you'll be starring in the sketch
comedy show "RDR Live."

[all cheering]

Today you need
to choose your parts

and rehearse your
padded asses off.

Because tomorrow you'll be
performing your sketches live

in one take.

- Let's go.
- All right.

- It's literally "SNL," honey.

I'm a little... I'm
goosebumps, mama.

Like, if you f*ck it
up, that's it.

It's over.

- Now remember, this
challenge is all about creating

a breakout character.

Racers, start your engines,

and may the best drag queen win.

- All right.

[all cheering]

- "RDR Live."

There are five sketches.

- Why don't we just go
down the list of characters

and we can raise our hands
if we're interested in the role.

- Who wants Branderson Cooper?

I would love to have that role.

- And you're the only one.
- Thank you.

So it's mine.

[laughs]

- Who wants to be Donna Lemon?

And that's just you.

- I'm really interested
in News Anchor 1.

- I'd love to be News Anchor 2.

I see the newsroom sketch

with the late night anchors.

This is the Seth Meyers,
Amy Poehler moment

I have been waiting for.

- I'm also interested
in News Anchor 2.

- And then we have
brick from Stonewall,

which is all of you.

- How many people
want the brick?

- I'll take the brick.

The role of the brick,
I see so much potential

for, like, physical comedy
and I see myself in it

accepting the Oscar as a brick.

- There's really only one
thing that I want to do

and that's Candy Long.

So I'm gonna take Candy,
and I'm gonna let you girls

fight it out for Connie.

- Who wants to be Connie?

- Connie's slutty, right?

- Yeah, Connie's...
- She's flirty and fun.

- I'm a little nervous
about you doing Connie.

[tense music]

- Why are you nervous?

- You want the tea, sis?

I think that I'm going to
excel in this role...

- Uh-huh.

- And I want you

to excel in your
role as well, sister.

- So you think you're gonna
outshine me from the get go?

Because that's
what you're saying.

- I wasn't... I'm not
saying anything.

- That's what you're saying.

- I know, I know,
but I just want her...

- Stop making drama.

- I just want her reasoning.

- I would love to do Connie.

And we're both stupid sluts.

- We can slut it up.

- Yeah.

- I think she was scared that
I was gonna outshine her.

I didn't even want that role.

And you know what?

She's a c**t.

- And then the host will be TBD.

- So who wants to host?
- Me.

- I want to host.

I really, really want
to do the hosting,

because it's not a
character and I can just put

my own personality into it.

- That honestly is the most
important role, I believe.

It sets the tone and this person

has to absolutely destroy it.

- I feel like I
would do really well.

- I see Sapphira doing
really great in that too.

- I think it would be
very interesting to see

you in a host position.

- Sapphira, are you willing
to bow down and give...

- I'm never willing to bow down.

- We could either do it rock,
paper, scissors, or votes.

I think that's the most fair.

- I'm gonna do Lowenstein.

- Oh. - Oh.

- I really know that I'm
gonna turn out anything I do.

So she can have it.

- You sure about that?
You're locking it in?

- Mother has spoken.
- Yep.

- All right.

- I guess I'm hosting.

- Not "I guess."

- Not "I guess."
- I'm reading.

Yes, I guess I'll host.

- It seems like the second
that Sapphira gives Mirage

the role of host,
she's like, oh, OK.

I thought you wanted it.

- You good?

- Yeah.

It's making me second
guess if I want it,

because now I think
she's playing a game.

But at the end of the
day, I got what I wanted.

So can I really be mad at her?

- And then we have sketch five.

I think we should make
the singing girls do this one.

- This is literally
a preschool song.

This sketch is about
Barbra Streisand.

But I'm reading the
sketch and thinking,

you don't have to sing.

It's f*cking "Jingle Bells."

You don't have to
be a choir director

to sing "Jingle Bells."

I'm sticking with News Anchor 2.

- You would eat it up, Plasma.

- I feel like we could all do
great in a number of places.

I'd like to stick
with News Anchor 2.

- I think personally
that me and Amanda

have a great rapport.

We are becoming good friends.

And I think that we would
eat up Anchor 1 and 2 together.

I'm sorry, Plasma, but I
also think that Barbra Shop,

it's written for you, girl.
- It's written for you, babe.

- Me, Amanda, and
Q are all friends,

and we want to do
this scene together

and Plasma wants my role.

Like, can't you see
what's happening?

We've decided this already.

I'm so sorry, diva,
but like, you will

eat up Barbra
Streisand. I know this.

Can you do it?

Thanks.

Mwah, thank you, baby.

- I just feel like I was kicked
out of the news anchor group

without my... - No,
no, no, no, no, no, no.

It's just an opinion, girl.

- That a lot of people share.

[laughter]

- It feels very much
like I'm being

assigned a role by
someone who's never

cast a comedy show before.

Fine.

Well, at least give me the
part with the highest note

so I can belt.
I'll take Bryce.

- Anchor 1, 2, and brick, right?

- I think that's settled.
- OK, cool.

Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool.

- Y'all better turn it out.
- Girl, you'll eat it up.

You'll be fine.
- You will.

- Girl, you know what?
You know what?

It would be convenient
for you to remind me

how good I am at what
you assign me to.

- All right, all right,
all right, all right.

- Gaslight, gatekeep, girl boss.

Yes, Dawn, you better work.

- Let's make a show, ladies.

[all chattering]

- Candy Long and Connie Thick.

- We are the first sketch.

So it's, like, really up to us

to, like, set the tone.

For this week's maxi challenge,
we're doing "RDR Live."

And we're gonna be
performing these catches

in one take live.

Like...

[laughs]

- First of all, I
can sense some, um,

stern and unhappiness from you.

- I don't have a lot of warm,
fuzzy feelings about the way

the news anchor situation
was approached.

I just don't really appreciate
the card being played up like,

well, Amanda and I are
already close, so like,

it should be us.

I'm like, so are you
a package deal?

Like, is this dodgeball?

- [laughs] - Yeah.

- Can I sit at the
lunch table, girls?

I'm not someone who,
like, impersonates Barbra.

It's one of the impersonations
that I try to stay away from.

She is one of those people
that I hold in such high regard

that I don't want to
make fun of in any way.

- First of all,
thinking about not

disrespecting people
and all that kind of stuff,

this is comedy.
- Yeah.

- First and foremost.

So like, hello gorgeous.

- I do know so much about
her and I do love Barbra.

When I saw "Funny
Girl" for the first time,

I remember thinking,
this is a performance

like I've never seen before.

When she was 19 she
made her Broadway debut in

"I Can Get It For
You Wholesale."

She was actually
one of the first artists

I owned on vinyl.

Directed and
starred in "Yentl."

"Funny Girl" was her first movie

and her second Broadway show

and then she, like,
moved to Hollywood.

They told her to get a nose
job and she didn't and then

she won the Oscar
her first time out.

It intimidates me to, like,
try... you know what?

f*ck the intimidation.

I'm gonna feel this fear
and I'm gonna do it anyway.

The spirit of Barbra
has never led me astray.

I'm gonna be OK.

So f*ck you, f*ck you,
f*ck you, and f*ck you.

I'm gonna worry about Barbra.

- I'll say Thick, you say Long,
and you say Deck Services.

- Call us at...

- Thick...

- And Long...
both: Deck services.

- OK, I kind of like that.

I kind of like that a
lot, actually.

- As someone from
New York, like,

"SNL" is a part of our culture.

And I'm a cosplayer and I
love playing characters.

So getting the chance
to do a weird character

and make it funny,
this is what I'm made for.

If there's anyone in this
that I'd want to be doing

this role with, it's you.

I feel like our
sense of humor is

very similar in the, like, oh,

I'm such a slutty,
beautiful woman.

- Sure. Well,
we're yet to see

your sort of full sense
of humor emerge.

- Truly.

- But hopefully it
will with this, diva.

I wanted to work with somebody
who was a little bit different.

And I feel like I kind of
got that with Megami

more so than I would
have with Morphine.

We're playing a
game, bitch, and I'm

trying to be strategic.

- Over here on Team Mirage,
we are struggling a little bit.

Initially I was excited
to work by myself.

But then upon realizing that
everyone else has someone

to run their ideas by
and bounce things off of

and now I'm like, if you
drop the ball, it's all on you.

So I don't have anybody
to blame besides myself.

- I'm hearing we have a
GOP leader joining us live

from South Carolina.

Senator Lindsey Graham.

- Hey, queens.

Call me Lady G or La Lindsey.

Now that I've gotten
to read my lines,

I am completely panicking.

After all these years of
hiding, I'm feeling my oats.

I don't have a Southern accent,

and I don't know
who this character is.

- It bothered me a little
bit that Plane Jane

was like, oh, I'm a
little worried for you

to do this role with me.

And I'm like, why the f*ck
would you be worried?

- But look, I have to say...

- Because she thought she was

gonna eat me alive or something.

- Yeah, it gave
very that energy.

- She did, right?

I didn't like that.

- Sisters.

- Hi. - Hi.

- Hi. How are y'all feeling?

- Absolutely amazing.
- Ready.

- Amazing.

I wanted to make
sure you have a part

where you can truly shine.
- Mm.

- Do you think that maybe
Plane just wanted to have

a clearer road to, like, excel?

- Yeah, I think she wanted
to clearer road to excel.

- f*ck my drag, I guess.

[laughter]

- That's what I'm saying, bitch.

You better eat her up.

- My biggest worry
is being overshadowed

by Plane, because I already
know she can do this.

So I kind of have to bring
my game up to her level

or else I'll look like crap.

- Good luck, b*tches.
- Good luck.

- On to the next corner.

- We're like RuPaul.

We're doing our own
little walk through.

- Ooh. [laughs]

- What a fake
f*cking c**t bitch.

- [laughs]
- Y'all horrible.

I love being a part
of this group.

- We're disgusting and shady.

Now back to "RDR Live."

both: Live from Tuckahoe,
it's "RDR Live."

[laughter]

- This week's maxi challenge
is "RDR Live" sketch comedy.

This is a one take, no
mistakes, so no pressure.

[moans]

- Hey, ladykins.

[all cheering]

Now, we've got company.

- Hello.

- Say hello to Ross Mathews.

All: Hi.

- All right, come on down.

- Ladies, oh, thank you.

- OK, Morphine, Xunami,
Mhi'ya, and Geneva.

Now, raise your hand if you've
done sketch comedy before.

- Oh. - Oh, OK.

- This will be fun.

- This ought to be really fun.

- Any OnlyFans or anything?

- No.

- You're a little shy, I think.

Is this a big challenge for you?

- No. - No.

One word answer.

- Getting in front of you
two is definitely intimidating.

- Yeah.

- I kind of like, I'm like this
when I'm in front of you two.

- Do you perform
in the clubs, right?

- Yes.

- OK, so when you're in
the clubs, you can't be

timid, right?
- No.

- It's when you
are able to express

yourself openly is
when the audience

can fall in love with you.

They will root for you
because they feel a kinship.

But if you have a wall
up, they can't get in.

So you want to let them in.

- Ru's just said that
I'm reserved again.

But back home, I'm
the life of the party.

So I have to show the
judges that I'm having fun

and show them that
I can be very stupid too.

- Geneva, last week you
were in the bottom two.

There will be a teleprompter,
you know, to read the stuff.

Are you nervous about that?

- I used to be a
cashier, so I know

a lot of, like,
memorizing things is

something I used to do, like,

with the fruits and
vegetables and stuff.

- Oh.

- It'll be interesting to
speak to you after you do this.

[laughter]

- They're not buying it.

- I'm not, no.

We've sat on this
end of the table

and heard this exact same spiel.

Oh, no, we're gonna be fine.

Oh, she crazy.
We're gonna be cute.

Oh, girl, you know.

- I used to work with
fruit and vegetables.

I'll be fine.
[laughter]

- All right, well, go back,
rehearse your lines,

and make us laugh.

- Gracias.
- Thank you.

- All right, Nymphia,
Mirage, Sapphira, and Plasma.

- Hi, hi, hi.

- You are the Barbra Shop
Quartet, which means

that Mirage is the host.

- Yes. - Yes.

- OK. Are you Barbra fans?

- Yeah. - Yeah.

- You are?
- I am a huge Barbra fan.

"Don't Rain On My Parade"
was like my first, like,

singing in the shower song.

- And did you all
choose these roles?

- What's... what's this about?

- I was really, really hoping
for a role in a different skit

being one of the news people.

The mid-century safety
zone that I have

is not something I'd like to be
doing the whole time I'm here.

- Don't overthink it.

If you do a great Barbra
and it's a chance to do Barbra,

do Barbra.

- I can't help but wonder
if Dawn feels like

she has royally screwed
herself by giving me

something I am perfect for.

- And Mirage, you're the host.

Now, how did you get that role?

Did you have to fight for it?

- It wasn't really a fight,
necessarily, but, um...

- So what happened was...
- What happened?

Yeah, thank you.
- Give me the tea.

- I wanted to be the host
and I thought to myself,

no, I want to be in a group.

I want to work with somebody.
- Uh-huh.

- And so I decided,
I'm gonna be Lowenstein

and you're gonna host.

- Huh. - OK. All right.

- Sapphira saying that
she gave me this role

is putting in Ru's head
that it's not something

that I felt confident
about and that I picked

and that I stand by.

- I sense some hocus pocus here.

- Right? - Yes.

[laughter]

I certainly do.

- Is there any truth to that?

- No, no.

- Oh, girl, come on, please.
- Really? Really?

- No, you know, if she
wants to do it, she can do it.

I realized that being the
host, I could shine a lot

or it could be a disaster.

I don't think it'll ever be a
disaster when I'm involved.

However, I want to see
what magic can be made

with another person.

- OK. All right.

- Mirage is having
second thoughts?

That's not my problem.

- All right, thank you ladies.

- Thank you.
- Thank you.

- Ladies, listen up.

Listen up, queens.

Now, we can't wait to watch
"RDR Live" tomorrow.

And on the runway,
category is...

Night of 1,000 Chers.

Whoa! [all cheering]

- "Wagon Wheel Watusi."

- So snap out of it!

- And don't f*ck it up, man!

[all cheering]

- Yes, bitch.

[upbeat music]

- Hello, gorgeous.

- Hello, gorgeous.

- Yellow, gorgeous.

- It's another elimination day.

Another bitch got to go home.

But it's not gonna be me.

- [singing] It's a new
day in the Werk Room

- I'm ready for my Oscar moment.

I am starting to feel the
brickness flowing through me.

I'm thinking like a brick.

I'm painting like a brick.

Or you could say I was,
like, painting like Amanda.

It's essentially the same thing.

[laughs]

- How are you feeling
about your little hosting gig

tonight? - I'm excited.

- Yeah? Do you
host a lot back home?

- Yeah.

Bar gigs and that kind of thing,

just like a little show,
quick little intro, outro.

- What have you hosted
outside of bar stuff?

- We had our very first
Indigenous Pride in Vegas.

- Oh. - Work.

- Are you Indigenous?
- Yeah.

- Oh, cool.

- I'm Mexican American
and Apache.

And hosting Indigenous
Pride in Las Vegas

was a big deal for me
because drag is something

that's very, very
important to me,

and so is where I come from.

That's the first time I've ever
mixed drag and my culture.

- Yeah. - Those worlds

had never even
connected in my brain.

It was special for me to bring
these two pieces of myself

together in a way that was
celebrated and respected.

And it means a lot.

- Geneva, when did you
come here to America?

- So my parents brought
me over to the United States

when I was around
seven years old.

So that's when they decided
to come over here to give myself

and my brother that
was just born at the time

better opportunities and
better life, and you know,

the American dream.

But you know, I got
legal status to be here.

- Are you a DREAMer?
- Uh-huh.

- Me too! - Really?

- Yes. - Yes.

- Oh, my God.

Yeah, I really didn't know,
like, what I was gonna do

if that hadn't gone through.

It was during the
Obama administration.

We literally would not
be able to be here

if it wasn't for that.
- Exactly.

Yeah, honestly.

- So thank you, Obama.

[laughter]

DACA stands for Deferred
Action for Childhood Arrivals.

And it is a law that came
to effect to grant kids

with no papers a work
permit and, you know,

a Social Security number so that

they can be another
member of this society.

DACA is why I'm able
to, like, legally work

and also be on "Drag Race."

We're not citizens, you know.

We're kind of like in limbo.

We're legally here because
we were already here,

but we don't have the
full rights of a citizen.

- So when it comes to DACA,
we're kind of always, like,

not 100% I guess feel
safe, because at any time

they can just be like,
you know what?

We're gonna take
this away from you.

And it's very scary
to think that

that could be a possibility.

- When I got the call
for this, I literally,

I was like bawling,
because I was like...

I was like, I'm finally,
like, having a sh*t

to, like, live my
dreams, you know?

Like, I don't know.

Sorry. [laughs]

- This is, like, something
big for us because

I believe we're the first
DACA queens on the show.

And you know, like, we
kind of have this moment

where we kind of get
a little teared up

because everything
we've been through

and everything we
have to go through.

I don't know why it
gets me so emotional.

I guess because we grew
up not really showing

that much of affection,
because we had to be

strong, you know, living in the
United States, you know, so.

- Do any of you girls
have an OnlyFans?

- Well, I don't.

But...
- It seems like you might.

- So this is kind of
random, but my day job

is ghostwriting on OnlyFans.

- What? - No.

- Yeah, girl.

I work for this agency that
manages OnlyFans creators.

So I respond to their
messages for them

as them while they're on
vacation in f*cking Bora Bora.

It's like all these,
like, straight girls.

And I just sit in their account.

- Oh, you do it for... it's
not gay, you do it for...

- No. - Oh.

- No. - Women.

- Yes, girl.

I get into the fantasy.

- Oh, and she's responding
to all these straight guys?

[laughter]

- A lot of these
old straight men

that think they're
talking to a blonde



Well, they're correct.

- All the straight people
out here are shook right now.

They're seeing this
girl on the other side.

Here's Amanda just...

If only they knew what
was on the other side

of that messaging line.

[laughs]

[tense music]

[RuPaul's "Cover Girl"]

- [laughing]

[singing] Cover girl

Put the bass in your walk

Head to toe

Let your whole body talk

- Wow. Hello.

- [singing] And what

Welcome to the main stage
of "RuPaul's Drag Race."

Michelle Visage,
when was the last time

someone tickled your funny bone?

- Oh, honey, you know I
had my funny bone removed

in the late '80s.

- [laughs]

The hilarious Ross Mathews.

Now, do you still have
your funny bone?

- Oh, I sure do
and it's in right now.

[laughter]

- And a big Drag Race welcome
to Sarah Michelle Gellar.

Welcome.

Are you excited to be here?

- I am so excited.

Ru, I've been
slaying b*tches forever.

I was born ready.

[laughter]

- This week, we
challenged our queens

to create breakout comedy
characters on "RDR Live."

Racers, start your engines,

and may the best drag queen win.

[cheers and applause]

- Welcome to the QNN
End of the World Countdown.

- I'm Brandy Cohen.

- And I'm Branderson Cooper.

And we are just one disaster
away from total annihilation.

- I'll drink to that.

[laughter]

- Boy, have we f*cked things up.

- I'm a little drunk.

Remind me how we got here.

- Here are the top 10 reasons
why the world is about to end.

And number 10, banning books.

- That one is crazy.

I was reading Jackie Collins
at age 11, and look at me now.

- Number nine, climate change.

And speaking of climate change,

we go now via satellite to
Donna Lemon, our reporter

on the ground in Death Valley.

[dramatic music]

Wait, Donna, are you
literally on the ground?

- It's literally the end of
the world in Death Valley.

But I am living.

It's storming non-stop.

Turns out aerosol hairspray
really was a bad idea.

- Donna, are you OK?

[thundering]

- Ooh, hey, baby.

Can I get a lift?

My ride's here.

Bye.

Trade.

- She'll be fine.

Everything on her floats.

- At numbers five, four,
and three, the GOP,

as in Girl, Oh, Please.

- Wait, I'm hearing
we have a GOP leader

joining us live
from South Carolina?

Senator Lindsey Graham?

- Hey, queens, call me Lady G.

- OK, Lady G, you
have contributed a lot

to the end of civilization.

- Decimating human
rights, attacking women

and q*eer people.

- Excuse me.

Can we talk about my glow up?

Watch out, season 17.

- There's not gonna be
another season of anything

if the world ends.

- Y'all can come join me in
my bunker when sh*t gets real.

It'll be like an "Untucked"
that never ends.

- OK, we're done.

Bye, girl.

- Toodles.

- And now here to deliver
the number one reason

for the end of the world,
it's the Grim Reaper.

- And I've got one thing to say.

All: Live from Tuckahoe,
it's "RDR Live."

[upbeat music]

- It's "RDR Live" with
Dawn and Geneva Karr.

Megami and Mhi'ya Iman Le'Paige.

Morphine Love Dion
and Nymphia Wind.

Plane Jane.

Plasma, Q, and Xunami Muse.

Amanda Tori Meating
and Sapphira Cristal.

- With musical guest RuPaul!

[cheers and applause]

- And your host, Mirage.

- Oh, thank you,
thank you so much.

I am so thrilled to be
hosting here at "RDR Live."

[all cheering]

My name is Mirage,
and I cannot believe

I am standing
on this iconic stage.

[all cheering]

And I'm learning a lot about
television production too.

For example, jibs,
these cameras that

operate on a big
crane... not a nickname

for Sapphira's tiny breastplate.

[laughter]

A boom is a big
overhead microphone,

not the sound that Nymphia
makes when she untucks.

Very confusing.

And crafty is what we call
the snack table, which is funny

because I thought crafty
was what you called

Amanda Tori Meating's
drag aesthetic.

Yeah.

But seriously, I am
so grateful to RuPaul

for making me one of his RuGirls

for the rest of my...
Oh, applause.

[applause]

For the rest of my life.

I get to tour the
world, spread love,

and get into Twitter
feuds with soccer moms

telling me I'm not p*ssy enough.

But we've got a
terrific show for you.

RuPaul is our me...
Our musical guest,

so stick around.

[cheers and applause]

- Hello there.

I'm Connie Thick.

- And I'm Candy Long.

Summertime is right
around the corner.

And that means everyone is
looking forward to one thing.

- Sitting on a nice,
big, beautiful deck.

- That's right.

And for all your deck-related
needs, call us at...

- Thick...
- And Long...

both: Deck Service.

- We know decks come
in all shapes and sizes,

from long and narrow
to long and wide

to the really long ones

that kind of wrap
around to the side.

- All that can be tough
to handle for some

deck service
companies, but not us.

- Every one of our
service providers

has years of experience and can
handle even the hardest decks.

- But don't take
our word for it.

Here's what one of our
regular customers has to say.

- Hey, there.

I'm Richard.

Now, I was satisfied with
what I had going on up front.

So Connie and Candy
suggested I try a deck in the rear.

Now, I never thought
I'd be that kind of guy,

but now I know that
when it comes to decks,

Thick and Long is
definitely the way to go.

[laughter]

- So give us a call,
because at...

- Thick...
- And Long...

both: Deck Service...

- Our customers
always come first.

[both moaning]

- And now give it up for RuPaul.

[cheers and applause]

- [singing] And you
ain't nobody's baby

Baby, cowboy

Giddy-up, giddy-up

Giddy-up, get down, cowboy

Giddy-up, giddy-up

Shake that booty to the ground

Like an animal busting
through that door

Hands up, boot scootin'
on the dance floor

Want to see you,
see just how you move

Want to get you,
get you into this groove

Hey, no, you ain't no lady

Oh, lady

And you ain't nobody's baby

Hey, no, you ain't no lady

Oh, lady

And you ain't nobody's baby

Giddy-up, giddy-up

Giddy-up, giddy-up

Shake that booty to the ground

Whoa

Whoa, lady

No, you ain't no lady

Whoa, lady

And you ain't nobody's
baby, baby, baby, cowboy

Giddy-up, giddy-up

Giddy-up, get down, cowboy

Giddy-up, giddy-up

Swing your partner
round and round, cowboy

Giddy-up, giddy-up

Giddy-up, get down, lady cowboy

Giddy-up, giddy-up

Shake that booty to the ground

[cheers and applause]

- It's Queen Network News with
Amanda Tori Meating and Dawn.

[dramatic music]

- Good evening.

I'm Amanda Tori Meating.

- And I'm Dawn.

- In financial news,
the Treasury Department

is in chaos after gold bars
in the National Reserve

were discovered to be fake.

When asked what the
counterfeit bars were made of,

the Secretary of the
Treasury, LaLa Ri, said,

"It's chocolate."

[laughter]

- Forbes Magazine has
released its annual 100

Most Powerful Drag
Queens in Entertainment list.

And for the third year in a row,

Amanda was included in
the position of not on that list.

[laughter]

- To celebrate the
anniversary of Betty Friedan's

historic book "The
Feminine Mystique,"

Ross Mathews is releasing his
memoir, "The Feminine Mistake."

- In somber news, Lady
Bunny has passed away again.

We'd like to say
she'll be sorely missed,

but she's never missed
a sore in her life.

[laughter]

- 2024 marks the 55th
anniversary of the Stonewall

uprising, a turning point
in the q*eer civil rights

movement that began when a brick

was thrown through a
window at the Stonewall Inn.

Here to comment is
gay icon, the brick.

- Ohh.

Hello, hello, hello.

- So tell me, what was it like

being at the Stonewall
Inn that night?

- Well, I had just gotten
laid by this guy, Mason.

Anyway, next thing I know,
I'm being flung through the air.

I crash through a plate
glass window and land

on the floor of
the Stonewall Inn.

- Did you see who threw you?

- Does it matter, bitch?

- So do you feel
like you've been

overlooked in q*eer history?

- Oh, God, yes.

All folks want to talk
about is who threw me.

But what about me?

I gave you gay liberation
with my body.

You like your "Drag
Race" and gay marriage

and Kylie Minogue.

That was me.

Can I get an amen?

Both: Amen.

- The brick from
Stonewall, everybody.

[cheers and applause] - Ohh!

- And that's the news.

Thank ya.

[cheers and applause]

- And now it's time
for the holidays

with the Barbra Shop Quartet.

- It's so great to have
you all here at this very

special holiday party.

- We are the
Barbra Shop Quartet.

Our fourth member developed
shpilkes and can't be with us,

but we will honor Babs
the best way we know how.

Through song.

[piano playing]

- [singing] Jingle bells

Jingle bells

Barbra on the way

A Jewish girl from Brooklyn

To an icon for the gays

Oy.

By the way, do you know
how many Barbra it takes

to screw in a light bulb?

Trick question.

There's only one
Barbra Streisand.

[laughs]

- [singing] On Broadway
she did sing

Sang I'm the greatest star

There is just one thing

My name is Barbra not Barbara

A funny girl was she

Always in control

The hair, the nails,
the nose, a bagel

Not an onion roll

Did you hear that
Barbra Streisand

and RuPaul are forming
a musical group together?

They're calling
themselves RuBarb.

[laughter]

- [singing] A day or two ago

We watched "Prince of Tides"

She produced, directed, starred

But an Oscar was denied

Hey, Doc, what's up with that?

It just seems so unfair

But Babs kept making movies

'Cause that's just
the way she were

Was?

[laughter]

And jingle bells, shingle
bell, bing bang bong

- [singing] Jingle bells, jingle
bells, ding dang dong

- [singing] Jingle
bells, shmingle mells

Ding dang

Dong

Guh

[laughter]

all: It's Barbra all the

Way

[cheers and applause]

[indistinct chatter]

- Well, that's our show.

And just remember, if
you can't laugh at yourself,

how in the hell are you gonna
laugh at somebody else?

Can I get an amen?

All: Amen!

- Good night, everybody!

[all cheering]

[upbeat music]

- Category is Everything
Every-Cher All At Once.

- [laughs]

- Up first, Xunami Muse.

Cher, "The Prisoner," 1979.

- Beaded for her pleasure.

[laughs]

- I'm giving you this nude
illusion with my wings,

my beaded fringe wig.

I feel fantastic.

- Yes, Mr. Mackie,
tell me all about it.

[laughter]

Morphine.

Academy Award Cher, 1988.

- Tell me, where do you
keep your Oscar?

- This Cher look
shows a lot of skin.

And mama, I am literally
wearing no underwear.

Baby, if my straps snap,

you're going to get
a really good surprise.

- Wow, this dress is so tight.

I wonder if she could
"snap out of it."

- If she does, maybe her
Olympia Dukakis will fall out.

[laughter]

- Mhi'ya Iman Le'Paige.

Cher promoting
"Burlesque," 2010.

- She's giving me a silk woody.

- Ooh.

- I'm giving you
catsuit full of stones

and I am serving body.

I'm embodying my inner Cher.

- How do you like
them bagels, boy?

- Geneva Karr.

Cher as ringmaster for
Ringling Brothers, 1974.

- She looks like she's f*cking
all the Ringling Brothers.

[laughter]

- I'm feeling my Cher
but if she was Latina.

You know, extra curvy.

The color red, it looks
amazing with my skin.

And I'm blushed just
like Cher in the '70s.

- Every night all
the men come around

and lay their money down.

Mirage.

Cher in concert, 1979.

- Ooh, Mackie's back in town.

- I'm giving Cher mixed
with Naomi Campbell

mixed with streetwalker

with a dash of showgirl.

And the ponytail,
it's giving 40 inches,

I think. [laughs]

- Forget the other two.
She's just the tramp.

- Yes.

Megami.

Cher, Turn Back Time, 2009.

- Oh.

So I'm serving you
my favorite Cher look.

One of her iconic leather
jackets with this nice

see-through bodysuit.

I only wish I had a giant
cannon and some sea men

all around me.

- If I could turn back time,

I'd just go to
Michelle's doctor.

[laughter]

- Plane Jane as Cher,


- There is nothing
plain about her.

- It's the sheer mesh gown

overlaid with crystals

and stones and appliques.

And it's just such a
stunning Bob Mackie piece.

And who else to do that
piece justice but me?

- No burger finger there.

[laughter]

Amanda Tori Meating,
Cher doll, 2001.

- When she's done,
she can just go

take a shower with the loofah.

- Yeah.

- Bitch, look how correct

Amanda Tori Meating
looks tonight.

We have this lovely
lavender X shape

that is so iconically
Cher with this beautiful

flowing gown element
on the bottom.

Lap it up, kittens.

- Life in plastic,
it's fantastic.

- Dawn as mod Cher, 1966.

- How many Muppets had
to die for that jacket?

- I'm giving you some
classic '60s Cher

with some classic 2020s Dawn.

I took this black
and white picture

and we don't know
what color the fur coat is,

so I went with a little
orange and blue color story

because I think it's
really fun and '60s.

And then boom, slut waist, mama.

Always. OK?

- This is the
sunny side of Cher.

- Yes it is.
- Oh, wow.

She's giving me
a "Sunny Boner."

- [laughs]

Q from the Sonny and
Cher Comedy Hour, 1973.

- Black and white
and Cher all over.

- Cher is go big or go home,

and you know I like
to make a statement

when I walk in the room.

I am feeling very
poised and elegant

because I know
the body is right,

and I know the face is right.

I'm Cher, bitch. [laughs]

- I wonder if she's
wearing a ze-bra.

- Plasma, Met Gala 1985.

- She is doing more
than her fair share.

- I'm giving you
dark lady eleganza.

It's a Bob Mackie dress,
but it's not over the top.

It's just pure glamour.

I just feel like a glass of
champagne came to life.

- It's not easy being a diva.

- Tell me about it.

- Nymphia Wind.

Cher Egyptian goddess, 1979.

Ankh if you love Cher.

- Ankh, ankh.

- I'm very naked,
but I'm giving you

mysterious Egyptian lady
with fierce cutting eyes,

spreading her wings
and letting the world see

her glorious Egyptian body.

- I can see her Nefer-titties.

- [laughs]

Sapphira as Cher in the
Vegas residency, 2017.

- Wow.

- Mm-hmm. That's
a Vegas buffet.

[laughter]

- Cher is the queen of excess,

and I'm the drag
queen of excess.

So this is a match
made in heaven.

I'm wearing this blue
shoulder piece that

has 100 pheasant feathers.

It is gorgeous.

This is a woman's world,
and I am a woman.

- You know what color this is?

- What color?

- Elijah Blue.

- Yes.

- Welcome, queens.

I've made some decisions.

[dramatic music]

But first I need to ask.

Sapphira, do you wish to use
your immunity potion this week?

- I think I'm gonna say no.

- Very well.

Plane Jane, do you wish
to use your immunity potion?

- Not this week, Ru.

- Very well.

Queens, when I call your
name, please step forward.

Xunami Muse.

Morphine.

Megami.

Amanda.

Dawn.

Nymphia.

Sapphira.

Ladies, you are all safe.

You may leave the stage.

Ladies, you represent the tops
and the bottoms of the week.

Now it's time for
the judges' critiques.

Up first, Mhi'ya.

- I was a little bit
worried about you.

When I saw you swing for
the fences, I was so thrilled.

- I just wanted to let
loose and show you guys

that I can let loose
and have fun.

- You were committed.

And to me, that's
the most important part,

especially on any kind
of sketch comedy show,

because things go wrong.

- My real issue had to
do with just levels.

I wanted more nuance.

I wanted more of a story arc.

- Your Cher look is
not really the look

that you were trying to achieve.

Cher no matter what, even
when she does her natural hair,

she will make sure
it is drag hair.

And this, it
needs to be dragged.

- Can you do a
Cher impersonation?

Let me see it.

- I'm great.

[laughter]

- Cher meets Kermit.

- Do it again.
Do it again.

Do it again.

- Yeah, do it this time,
but flick your hair back.

- I'm great.

[laughter]

- Oh, my God, that
meme will live forever.

It's gonna haunt you
for the rest of your life!

[laughter]

Amazing.

Up next, Geneva Karr.

- So my question is,

do you know who
Lindsey Graham is?

- No. - OK.

That was obvious and that
was part of the problem.

- Excuse me.

- There was a
missed opportunity.

Because if you had really
hit the nail on the head,

it would have been great.

- I love the outfit.

I said it's like Cher
meets Britney Spears.

It has a little,
like, "Circus."

- But you know, I would just
be careful with proportions,

because you have a
long torso, and you don't

want to really cut in half.

Up next, Mirage.

- You were the host.

There were moments
when I saw that you were

comfortable with it and there
were just a couple times

when the jokes got
away from you.

- You were telegraphing
that the joke was coming.

And the key is to let
it come out naturally

so that we don't know,
oh, here's where the joke is.

- Now, Sarah, you've hosted
"SNL" how many times?

- I've hosted
three solo and I've

guest starred a few times.

Not enough to get the
five time jacket though.

- [laughs]

- This look is really fun.

You look beautiful in it.

- I love this look.

I don't love the hair
with it, because the hair

says '60s Cher and
the dress is late '70s.

It's interesting to see
you young kids sort of,

you know, mix
things up a little bit.

I'm like wait, no, no,
not that hair with it.

Up next, not so Plane Jane.

- You were so funny
in the challenge.

- I'm Candy Long.

- From the first line you
uttered, the way you said it,

I knew who you were.

- You didn't overplay it.

You underplayed it, which
is really the key to comedy,

because that makes it funnier.

- Thank you.

- This outfit is
bat-Cher crazy beautiful.

- You delivered one of
the strongest Mackie looks

I think Cher's ever worn.

It's one of my favorites.

And I thought tonight
was a slam dunk for you.

- Up next, Q.

- In the challenge,
you had to play a brick.

That's hard to do.

You managed to take this
object and give it a personality.

You know, there was
one line I wrote down.

It says...

- Does it matter?

- I wrote down the same line.
- Yeah.

- Stop stealing all my
lines, Ross Mathews.

- I copied it off Sarah
Michelle Gellar's paper.

- "Does it..." I
mean, it was just...

It was comedian level funny.

And you can't really teach that.

- And listen, this is
another one of my all time

favorite Cher looks.

I'm so glad you did this look.

- You know, this runway is
as much a homage to Cher

as it is to Bob Mackie.

And this is one of his
most beautiful outfits.

And you wear it so well.

- Thank you so much.

- Up next,
Plasma-rich platelets.

- I loved watching
you embody Babs.

And I knew that you had it.

- I had to keep reminding
myself to watch the other two,

because my eyes
just kept going to you

and I wanted to see more.

- I remember yesterday
in the Werk Room,

you said this was
a part you didn't really

want to take because
you were worried

about being sort of typecast.
- Mm-hmm.

- I cannot imagine
your sketch without you,

because you doing
Barbra in that scene

was just perfection.

- And I love that
you chose this dress.

What's your favorite
part of this outfit?

- Immediately I liked the
idea of a sinister side of Cher.

- Ah.

Part of Cher's brand is morbid

and dark and morose.

In fact, that's why rebel kids
loved her in the first place.

Thank you so much.

- Thank you.

- Thank you, queens.

I think we've heard enough.

While you relax in
the "Untucked" lounge,

the judges and I
will deliberate.

All right, just between
us squirrel friends,

what do you think?

Let's start with Mhi'ya.

- In the acting challenge, she
at least swung for the fences.

- I'm living!

- She just swung a little hard.

It was one note,
at this level nonstop.

- In the runway,
it fell a little flat.

And for me, the biggest
issue is confidence.

I think to be a great queen,

you have to fake
it till you make it.

- But I will say, you
know who should win?

- Who? - Her impression.

[laughter]

That's the best thing
I've seen all week.

[imitating impression]
That's the best thing.

[laughter]

- Geneva Karr.

- It could have been
the funniest thing

if she could have nailed

a Lindsey Graham
impersonation in drag.

- As an actor, you have to
be able to ask questions.

And if you get the role
and you don't know

who Lindsey Graham
is, just ask somebody.

- I do do a Lindsey
Graham impression.

- Oh, can I hear it?
- Yeah.

[imitating Cher impression]
Hey, I'm Lindsey Graham.

- [laughs]

- Now, the Cher
look was beautiful.

- But like Cher,
if she had cut just

on the inside of the
outfit a little bit too,

it would have been more
flattering like Cher does.

It's more of like it comes
up high and then cuts in.

- Yes, yes.

All right, let's
talk about Mirage.

- In terms of the challenge,
I think she sped through it.

She moved a little too much.

I think you need to
sort of claim the stage.

- I know none of you
all agree with me,

but I liked that '60s
hair even though

that's a late '70s look.

- But because we've watched
Cher's life in every phase,

to mix and match like that,
it's so distracting to me.

Plane Jane.

- Just in three weeks, she has
shown us that she can perform

at a really high level.

Her Cher is stunning.

Would you change a
thing? Anyone?

- No. No. - OK. Good.

What about her in the challenge?

Would you change a thing?
- No.

- No.

- But that's an
actor's job, right?

It's to take someone's words
and make them your own.

And she did it so effortlessly.

It was as if you would
think she wrote that script.

- Uh-huh. All right. Q.

- This is another
one that hasn't

faltered from the beginning.

- She took that scene
from the other queens.

- Yeah.
- The news was good.

It was cute.

It was chugging along.

And then she just came
in and I was like, who?

What?

I just need to focus
on the brick.

- And then tonight on
the runway, oh, brava.

- The way the stripes
widened out in, like,

what we would call our
problem section, ladies, and then

thinned out on the bottom.

It was just every aspect
of it was real perfection.

- Plasma.

- Listen, you could tell
without even knowing her

if you just turn the
TV on and saw her,

you knew right away
she was a Barbra fan.

You have to be able to
embody Barbra to do Barbra.

And then tonight on the runway,

it was very smart
with her choice,

because it is more
of the darker Cher.

- I also love how
h*m* she is.

In that not only...
The big Nelly Queen...

That, but also the references.

You know, she's done
the gay homework.

- I mean, I'm so jealous
she got to be two

of the greatest queens
of all time tonight.

- In one day.
- In one day.

- Oh! It's a gay miracle.

- [laughs] - Yeah.

- It was incredible.

I mean, these queens,
I'm so jealous.

I'm a mere Prinze.

- A mere Prinze.

- Waiting my whole life
to use that line somewhere.

[laughter]

- All right. [claps]

Silence.

I've made my decision.

Bring back my girls.

Welcome back, queens.

I've made some decisions.

[dramatic music]

Plasma, you are one funny girl.

- Oh.

- Condragulations,
you are the winner

of this week's challenge.

[all cheering]

- Yeah!

Oh, my God.

- You've won a cash
prize of $5,000.

- It means so much.

And it all aligned in
such a cool, perfect way.

It's just, like, the
coolest m*therf*cking

feeling in the entire world.

- Plane Jane, Q, Plasma,

you three may join
the other girls.

- I can't wait to tell my mom.

- Mhi'ya, your Cher
wasn't strong enough.

Geneva Karr, your Lady
G didn't hit the spot.

Mirage, your hostess
was not the mostest.

Mhi'ya...

you're safe.

You may join the other girls.

- Thank you.

- Geneva Karr, Mirage,

I'm sorry, my dears, but
you are up for elimination.

- The first emotion is panic.

I'm just trying to breathe
and pull myself together

and say you can't just
go home like this.

Like, this can't be it.

So I'm gonna spin and
twirl and give it to them.

- Two queens stand before me.

Ladies, this is your
last chance to impress me

and save yourself
from elimination.

The time has come for you

to lip-synch for your life.

Good luck, and don't f*ck it up.

[Cher's "Dark Lady"]

- Come on, Geneva.

Come on, Mirage.

- Come on, Geneva!

- [singing] The fortune
queen of New Orleans

Was brushing her cat
in her black limousine

I followed her to
some darkened room

She took my money

She said I'll be with you soon

Dark lady laughed and danced

And lit the candles one by one

Dance to her gypsy music

Till her brew was done

Dark lady played black magic

Till the clock struck on the 12

- The only person
I can watch is Mirage,

because she is giving
performance down.

- [singing] She dealt two cards

A queen and a three

- And then I realize her mouth
doesn't match the words.

- [singing] To me

- She don't know the song.

- [singing] So I sneaked back

- Mirage kind of
doesn't know the words.

- No, she doesn't.

- [singing] Until they
saw the g*n in my hand

The next thing I knew

They were dead on the floor

Dark lady would never
turn a card up anymore

Dark lady laughed and danced

And lit the candles one by one

Danced to her gypsy music

Till her brew was done

[all cheering]

- Ladies, I've made my decision.

[dramatic music]

Geneva Karr, shantay, you stay.

- [crying]

- You may join the other girls.

- Thank you, mami.

- Mirage, my queen,
we see big things for you.

Now sashay away.

- [crying]

I'm sorry.

- Just breathe.

Just breathe.

- [sobbing]

[somber music]

[sobbing]

- Oh, my God.

- [sobbing]

- I know it feels like the end,

but it really is
just the beginning.

- Yes. - It is.

- Yes! - Trust me.

[applause]

- Come on, Mirage.

- Thank you.

- We love you so much.

- It's so hard to see Mirage.

It just feels like you really
just see her dreams

just being crushed in a moment.

[applause]

- I wasn't prepared for
how devastating it feels,

you know?

I'm mad at myself.

I'm not mad at Ru.

I just feel like I didn't leave
a good impression on her,

and that's embarrassing.

And I, like, really put all
of my eggs in one basket.

Like, I didn't make
anybody proud

who was, like, supporting me.

I am thankful for
the relationships

that I made with the girls here.

I know we're gonna
be cool after this,

but I'm gonna miss
them the most.

This f*cking sucks.

- Well, condragulations, queens.

And remember, if
you can't love yourself,

how in the hell are you
gonna love somebody else?

Can I get an amen up in here?

All: Amen.

- All right, now
let the music play.

A little bit of love

Goes a long, long way

Lifting you up to a brighter day

Can you feel the love

- Next time on
"RuPaul's Drag Race"...

I want to collaborate with you

on three hot tracks from
my album "Black Butter."

- You added spice
to Spice Girls.

- You were fantastic.

- Out of everybody
in the girl group,

who didn't sparkle or shine.

- Rest assured, I definitely
have more respect for you

than I do for Amanda.

- Why are you such a c**t?

What's with this "I
have more respect for you

than I do with Amanda"?

Like, where is this coming from?

- Get her, girl.

Get her ass.

[dramatic music]

- [singing] A little bit of
love goes a long, long way

Lifting you up to a brighter day

A little bit of love
goes a long, long way

Turn it around
when you up and say

Everybody say love

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh

Love

Can you feel the love
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