05x13 - Countdown to the Crown

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "RuPaul's Drag Race". Aired: February 2, 2009 – present.*
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RuPaul plays the role of host, mentor, and head judge for this series, as contestants are given different challenges each week.
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05x13 - Countdown to the Crown

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- Tonight on RuPaul's Drag Race:

Countdown to the Crown ...

We're just one week away from

crowning America's

Next Drag Superstar.

Are you team Alaska, team Jinkx,

or team Roxxxy?

To help you decide, we have a

play-by-play analysis

of a season full of shock...

and shade.

- Look how orange you f*cking

look, girl.

[alarm blaring]

- Orange alert!

Fashion dos...

- Whoo!

- And "Oh, no,

she better don'ts."

- I will not wear

another caftan.

- In never-before-seen moments,

celebrity guest stars exposed.

[all imitating monkeys]

Queens bare all.

- Whoa!

- These girls are cock-hungry

d*ck pigs.

- And later, find out what

stars are saying

about your drag idols.

And then, for the first time

anywhere,

we reveal Untucked:

The Lost Episode.

- What I have,

you guys don't have.

- To help break this sh*t down,

we'll be joined

by countdown correspondents,

Latrice Royale, Willam,

Sharon Needles,

and a world exclusive Ru-on-Ru

interview.

Just how damn old are you?

Oh, it's gonna be like that,

huh?

Are those your real teeth?

All this, plus the music video

world premiere of The Beginning.

From the thrill of victory...

- Yes.

- To the agony of defeat...

- Oh!

- Let the Countdown to the Crown

begin!

The winner of RuPaul's Drag Race

receives a sickening supply of

Colorevolution cosmetics,

a luxury trip courtesy

of ALandCHUCK.travel,

headline Logo's Drag Race Tour

featuring Absolut Vodka...

cocktails perfected...

and a cash prize of $100,000.

[tires screeching]

- Welcome to RuPaul's Drag Race:

Countdown to the Crown.

Alaska, Jinkx Monsoon,

Roxxxy Andrews.

With one week remaining, this

season

is the closest contest

in Drag Race history.

Even I can't quite put my finger

on the charisma, uniqueness,

nerve, and talent

it will take to win the title

of America's

Next Drag Superstar.

That's why I want to hear

from you.

Which queen deserves to win,

and why?

Tweet your pic to

@RuPaulsDragRace;

#TeamAlaska, #TeamJinkx,

or #TeamRoxxxy.

And sound off via Facebook,

Instagram, Tumblr,

and Pinterest.

To win the crown,

your favorite queen

needs all the help you can give,

tonight and all week long.

Now speaking of favorites,

I want to check in with

my countdown correspondents,

Latrice Royale, Willam,

and Sharon Needles.

Welcome, ladies.

- Hi-yee!

- Hey, Ru.

- Can you help me make sense

of this crazy season?

- Ru, the suspense is k*lling

me, and not in a good way.

My marriage is at stake.

- Boo-hoo. I'm mad.

Season five was all about

performing,

and I could have tore it up,

like an episiotomy.

- Ooh, Ru, I'm living

for these season five girls.

Honey, you've got some funny

characters on this season.

Bitch, I live!

- Well, thank you, ladies.

I'll be checking back with you

in just a minute.

Now, to truly understand

how Alaska, Jinkx, and Roxxxy

ascended to the top three,

we need to do an instant RuPlay

of the bad-ass b*tches they b*at

down in their battle to become

America's Next Drag Superstar.

Game on.

- Hello, boys.

- Week one, Cincinnati cougar

Penny Tration hit the field

with a seasoned swagger.

Thousands of fans voted to get

her here,

but it took just one devastating

block by rookie

Serena Chacha to send

her packing.

all: Hi!

- College draft pick Serena

Chacha arrived a young pup,

eager to run with the big dogs.

- I have a feeling you just

like to be the only pretty one.

- I just think you're annoying.

- But on her second outing,

a flag on the play...

- Doo-de-doo-de-doo.

- Signaled that Serena was a

little out of her league,

and she cha-cha'd her way out

of the game.

- To the other queens,

pick up a book and go read.

- Hello, girls.

- Big-hearted Banji girl

Monica Beverly Hillz...

- With a "Z."

- Was a prospect with promise.

- Monica Beverly Hillz

is very good at giving face.

- While she didn't always bring

her "A" game...

- Can't you see I'm trying to

get some sunlight...

[stammers]

- Cut!

She bravely shared her "T"

with the rest of the world.

And when she lip-synched

for her life against Coco,

Monica Beverly Hillz

was sent back to

the 9-0-2-1-oh, no,

she better don't.

- Hey, sisters.

- San Francisco treat

Honey Mahogany

brought her own mystique

to the challenges.

- Bitch, I am from Chicago!

- But in her dance debut,

her kicks were incomplete.

- You know, I've never done

Diana before.

- Clearly.

- Hey, y'all.

- Week after week, catch

of the day Vivienne Pinay

felt stiff-armed

by the competition.

- Great.

A bunch of loudmouths.

- But her dance in the end zone

failed to put her

on the scoreboard.

A lackluster lip sync came down

to a coin toss,

and both Honey and Vivienne

hit the showers

in Drag Race's first

double elimination.

- Oh!

- Oh, word!

- Now, if pretty scored you

extra points,

Lineysha Sparx would have been

an all-star.

Her Tyra-nese performance got

her named MVP.

But sadly, Lineysha's snatch

game was over before it began...

- French fries.

- Leaving Detox to bench

this beauty for good.

- Hey, girls, hey!

- Jade Jolie arrived all

sparkles, rainbows,

and sunshine.

Her laugh was her best defense.

- [laughing]

- But still this queen could

dominate the offense whenever

shade was in play.

- Some people shouldn't come

down and wear a two-piece

because the view

that I had was not too cute.

- But instead of finding

her voice...

- ♪ Can I get an amen?

- She found herself lip-synching

against Coco,

and in the end, sashayed away.

- Uh-oh.

- Hey, ladies! Aah!

- Oh!

- Ivy Winters turned out to be

a triple thr*at.

She could sew, she could sing,

and she gave great face.

Although sometimes it seemed her

presentation

was a little stilted.

Wah!

Sadly, a fumble in the fragrance

challenge...

- New York City.

- Uh, that's Tokyo.

- Kept this queen from making

the final playoffs.

Texas Tornado Alyssa Edwards

hit the field,

ready to play hard

and settle old scores.

- Game on, bitch.

The sequel.

- She gave game face

for the ages.

- [smacks lips]

- And her countless

Alyssa-isms...

- I don't get cute.

I get drop-dead gorgeous.

- Gave inspiration...

- Back rolls!

- To the nation.

- Why you being cute?

- On the main stage,

this dancing diva

had all the right moves.

But by the telenovella...

- I have the same disease!

- Her pageant prance

was played out.

- What?

- And she was sent home

by her archrival...

Coco Montrese.

- The diva has arrived!

- A Vegas veteran who was

always ready to rumble...

- Don't try it, little boy.

- Or lip-synch the house down.

Ever the underdog, Coco scored

a big win at the roast...

- Pants so high, he look like

he in New Orleans at

Hurricane Katrina, girl.

[laughter]

- But dropped the ball

in the army-navy makeover,

forcing this beauty queen

to take her final bow.

Feeling overwhelmed?

You need to Detox.

This silicone cyclone put in

major work before suiting up

for Drag Race.

- I've had my hips

and my ass done.

I've had my pecs done.

Underneath my eyes done.

My six-pack done.

- And once here,

she had a few surprises

to pull out of her b-b-b-box!

- [clucking] Hi, kids!

- A runway rock star, Detox

never let us see her sweat...

all: Oh!

- Prompting some to accuse her

of coasting toward the end zone.

Ultimately this final four

standout

hit a sugar wall

in the sugar ball.

And after losing her lip sync

to Jinkx,

parting was bittersweet.

- I've had it. Bye.

- Well, there you have it,

skorts fans.

This season's rocky road

to the top three.

Damn!

I need a protein shake.

Coming up...

- The shade of it all.

- With Latrice, Willam,

and Sharon Needles.

Plus never-before-seen

too-hot-for-Drag-Race outtakes.

- Come here and sit on my face,

bitch.

- And for the first time

anywhere,

we reveal Untucked:

The Lost Episode.

- No one's hiding any knives or

shivs on their dresses,

are they?

- Keep tweeting who you want to

be crowned America's Next

Drag Superstar,

as RuPaul's Drag Race: Countdown

to the Crown continues.

[laughing]

[laughing]

Welcome back to RuPaul's Drag

Race: Countdown to the Crown.

This has been the stormiest

season on record.

- I could give a f*ck.

- One thing's for sure,

the forecast always included

a 100% chance of...

- Shade.

- Early in the season,

super storm Coco collided

with hurricane Alyssa

and let us have it.

- I don't think she wants

to talk about it.

But we're gonna talk about it...

if she doesn't go home first.

- Shade.

- Just pearls hanging off

her boobs, baby.

- Very you.

- Shade.

She's won several pageants,

and unlike Savannah, she's

completed all of her reigns.

- Shade.

And then the tears come out.

And the Academy Award goes to...

- Shade.

You need to be worried about

what's going over there with

that same makeup

every single time.

- Look how orange you

f*cking look, girl!

- Girls, you're both pretty.

both: Shade.

- Now is it just me, or are you

over this pageant feud mess?

Officially.

Ain't nobody got time for that.

Now I got some extra yummy,

never-before-seen leftovers

from the RuPaul roast.

- Michelle, your nails are

so long,

how the f*ck do you wipe

your ass?

- Oh-ho!

- But better yet, how do you

wipe Ru's before you kiss it?

[laughter]

- Let me tell y'all about

Santino.

All the hems on his clothes

be crooked.

You know why?

'Cause he's always looking

at you like this.

[laughter]

- Knock, knock.

all: Who's there?

- Ivy Winters.

all: Ivy Winters who?

- Exactly.

[laughter]

- RuPaul, you don't need

a roast, mama.

By the looks of your face,

it's been roasting

for quite some time.

[laughter]

- Ru, you're always saying,

"You're born naked,

and the rest is drag."

but in your case,

you were born naked,

and the rest was just f*cking

terrible.

[laughter]

- Now, joining us live from

the Drag Race Weather Center,

mother meteorologist

Latrice Royale.

Hi.

- Hi. I got news for you.

- Ooh, child.

Now what do you think of all the

romper room fuckery this season?

- Ru, I have one thing to say.

The shade.

The shade of it all.

- [laughs]

Now, Latrice, does the

competition bring out the worst

in some queens?

Or are they just shady ladies?

- RuPaul, in my experience,

the camera don't lie,

and neither do I.

Oh, and, girls, stop blaming

the editing, okay?

- Bible.

Bible, girl, uh-huh.

Tell it. Tell it!

- But you know what I love

about Drag Race?

Just when you think everything

has gone dark,

out comes a rainbow

of truth and light!

Hallelujah.

- Yes, ma'am.

- Let's take a look at some of

the most heartwarming moments

this season.

- Hey, Alyssa, this is Dad.

- Oh!

- I just want you to know...

- [cries]

- [cries] I'm proud of you.

And now I'm not ashamed

to tell people my son's gay.

- Oh! Oh, my God.

[crying]

- Forgiveness is free, baby.

Give all you can.

- I've just been holding

a secret in,

and I've been trying so hard

and...

- What secret?

- I'm not just a drag queen.

I'm a transgendered woman.

Every day is hard.

- I invited you here

because you were fierce.

The only person

who does not believe is you.

Stay strong,

Monica Beverly Hillz.

- I will.

- God makes no mistakes.

You be you, child.

- I continually regret and,

like, second-guess the fact that

I left my youngest brother

with a woman who wasn't ready

to be a mom.

When I'm, like, doing sh*t like

this, I feel so selfish...

- Don't, Jinkx, don't.

- [cries] To have left

my youngest brother.

- Don't.

Not at all.

- It feels like...right now,

like I've abandoned him.

- You haven't.

- Patience and love, honey.

Patience and love.

- My mother left my sister

and myself

at a bus stop

when I was three.

[cries] I try to stay so strong,

but I'm so weak

at the same time.

[crying]

It just hurts that I was left.

Nobody cared.

- You know, we as gay people,

we get to choose our family,

you know?

We get to choose the people

that we're around.

I am your family.

We are a family here.

- Bless us all.

Bless us all.

This is large and in charge,

chunky, yet funky,

Latrice Royale.

Back to you, Ru.

- Thank you, my queen.

- Aah!

[beep]

- Tonight, we're getting up

close and personal

with each

of our top three queens,

starting in alphabetical order

with the 49th state, Alaska.

Wiggling in from Pittsburgh,

Alaska arrived as a dark horse.

She auditioned for every season,

only to watch her girlfriend

snatch the crown last year.

But when this bowlegged beauty

arrived, she had me at "Hi-yee!"

- Hi-yee!

- Hi-yee!

- Hi-yee!

Hi-yee.

Hi-yee.

- Hi-yee.

- She tanked her first challenge

and quickly joined forces

with Rolaskatox.

But after some tough love...

- No!

- Alaska declared a state

of independence.

- Alaska.

- Until last week, she was the

only queen never to lip-synch

for her life.

And, girl, when it comes

to making us laugh,

Alaska has always been

right on the money.

- [whispering]

Your makeup is terrible.

- From the fragrance challenge

to the sugar ball,

she delivered one

of the strongest finishes

in Drag Race history.

And her triumphant testimony

on the main stage last week

showed us why Alaska could be

America's Next Drag Superstar.

So if you believe in Alaska,

let me feel it.

Tweet us at @RuPaulsDragRace

#TeamAlaska,

sound off at the RuPaul's

Drag Race Facebook page,

or show some love via the

RuPaul's Drag Race Instagram.

Coming up,

find out what Nicki Minaj,

Adam Lambert, and Sally Jessy

Raphael say about our queens.

Plus, Drag Race Deep Dish with

Willam and Sharon Needles.

- And I'm currently sitting on

my balls, like Mother Goose.

Honk!

- And a Ru-on-Ru

exclusive interview.

And later, we reveal

for the first time anywhere,

Untucked: The Lost Episode...

- You can be glamorous without,

like, 1,000 million stones

on your dress.

- Oh, Miss Thing.

- As RuPaul's Drag Race:

Countdown to the Crown

keeps on keeping on.

[laughing]

[laughing]

Welcome back to RuPaul's Drag

Race: Countdown to the Crown.

Drag Race fans are the best

fans in the whole wide world.

And because of you, our show

is trending on Twitter,

taking over Tumblr,

and winning America's

favorite reality show

on RyanSeacrest.com.

That's RyanSeacrest.com.

Hi-yee!

When it comes to Drag Race,

celebrities are just like us.

When they see something they

love, they tweet all about it.

Rolaskatox had Adam Lambert

gagging.

The legendary Sally Jessy

Raphael lives for Jinkx Monsoon.

- Jinkx Monsoon, you're special.

Shout-out to you.

- And Nicki Minaj is in love

with my girls.

Her favorite new expression...

- All "T," all shade.

- And, Mariah,

what you got, girl?

Now this next queen is so viral,

she's sickening.

Hi, Willam.

- Thanks, Ru.

Hey, superfans, you tweeted us

questions, and I got answers.

[beeping]

@johnbrunskill...

that's a lot of name.

"If you had to pick,

which season five gal

would you kai kai with?"

Coco, she's black.

@mcbrewster,

"You're a friend of Detox."

@fozziebare, "Don't you agree

that we need #LessFishMoreFun?"

No.

If you want ugly,

turn on Discovery Network.

Good-bye.

@bck2mono...

Oh, I've had that too.

[chuckles]

"What was more shocking,

the Honey and Vivienne Pinay

double elimination or yours?"

Mine.

They didn't even throw up.

f*cking amateurs.

@RuPaul, "Love you baby,

but your time is up.

Thanks, gi..."

Oh, I gotta go.

- Thanks, Willam.

And for the record, opinions

expressed by Willam

do not reflect that

of RuPaul Inc.,

Logo TV, President Obama,

or Tuckahoe State Prison

for ladies.

- [hums]

- Now, our superfans don't just

watch the show,

they do recaps and become stars

in their own right.

I love them all.

But these are some

of my favorites.

Can I get a RuCap up in here?

- Hi-yee.

- Hi-yee.

- That was best episode ever!

- Whoever is making up these

mini-challenges, bitch,

they need an Emmy.

Did you see...whew!

- My favorite walk

of this runway was Alyssa.

- [laughs]

both: Alyssa Edwards.

- She ain't gonna win.

- With that f*cking

faux dog-rat thing.

- [laughs]

- That is if she don't go home

first.

- Like, I wanted, like,



- Jade is a string of pearls

away from becoming a showgirl!

- I am serving you fish, honey.

Fish on a platter.

[laughs]

- It was the best mini-challenge

of any reality TV show,

past, present, and m*therf*cking

future, b*tches.

- Some of the biggest

Drag Race fans

are our extra special

guest judges.

Hold onto your wigs for

celebrity guest stars exposed.

- Do you tuck the balls, too,

or just...

- You gotta tuck them balls,

girl?

- Yes.

- How do you tuck the balls?

- Well...

- Actually, I give a detailed

description in my book,

Workin' It!,

which is available on Amazon.

- You can definitely tell

Alaska has two feet,

but we embrace the two feet,

and we're trying to help her...

- The left...

Everyone has two feet.

Two left feet.

- Sorry, two left feet.

- This one.

Sharp as a Kn*fe.

- Anita, I think Coco's

in trouble.

- I think so too.

[laughs] If she had done what

Santiago had suggested...

- Or Santino.

- Or Santino.

- Oh, Santino, I'm sorry!

- Or Santino!

- And from the Fashion Police,

George Kotsiopoulos.

What are you gonna do,

arrest me for smoking?

'Cause my p*ssy's on fire.

[both laugh]

- It's "bro-cod," black

and with this gold,

horrible "bro-cod,"

but it's, like...

- Are you trying to say brocade?

- No, I say "bro-cod."

- It's brocade.

- Uh, in France, it's "bro-cod."

- It's f*cking brocade.

- I don't care where the f*ck

you went to school...

- It's brocade.

- Swear to God.

- They so crazy!

But nobody get it twisted

like my girls.

I try to raise them right,

but what you gonna do?

- Whoa!

- [laughs]

- I won the challenge!

- Oh, my God.

Not by my bag!

Not by my bag, not by my bag!

- Aah!

- Some of these girls

are cock-hungry d*ck pigs.

- I want to see Lineysha naked.

- Trade! Trade!

Come here and sit on my face,

bitch!

- They said, "What do you like

the best about the werk room?"

I said, "There's a lot

of naked men."

- Trade!

- Would they have to blur this?

- I made this for you.

- [laughs] That's wonderful!

- Do you see

what's happening there?

- Gay sex in the service!

- It's time to play America's

new favorite game,

"Cut or Uncut."

[laughter]

Blue! Not a match.

- I sucked.

- Oh, not a match.

- Well, I didn't suck.

I wanted to, but...

Sorry, Mr. Cameraman.

- She bring it

to you every ball.

Why y'all gagging so?

Did you understand that?

If not, you could use

a refresher course

in drag linguistics.

#ShitMyGirlsSay.

- Can you say "not on tonight,"

Miss Roxxxy?

- Not tonight.

- No.

"Not on tonight."

- That makes no sense, girl.

- "Mama, they ain't gonna be

able to read me.

Not on tonight."

Not on tonight.

Not on

tonight.

Not on tonight.

- I've had it.

I have had it.

I've had it, officially!

- Detox, I'ma need you to stop

playing with my outfit.

- Well, I'm gonna need you

to stop relying on your body.

[laughter]

- Whoo!

- Stop relying on that body.

- Stop relying

on that body.

- Stop relying on that body.

- Stop relying

on that body.

- Stop relying

on Sharon Needles.

- The time has come for our

next up close

and personal profile.

Top three queen, the sleeper

from Seattle...Jinkx Monsoon.

- Ow!

[laughter]

- At 14, Jinkx's drag career

started with a wig

her grandmother gave her.

- And I've had it ever since.

- She brought her show biz

skills to RuPaulywood.

- ♪ Can I get an amen ♪

- From the very start, Jinkx

kept getting the same criticism.

- It's rather pedestrian.

- But before you could say...

- Water off a duck's back.

Water off

a duck's back.

- Jinkx became a real contender.

[gasps]

- I love it!

- Ah!

- And her breakout performance

as Little Edie got everybody

talking.

- This is the revolutionary

costume for the day.

- From Snatch Game on,

Jinkx gained momentum.

- Si, si, si!

- But she nearly crashed

at the sugar ball.

At last week's courtroom,

she brought the drama, mama.

- You can't handle the "T"!

- And as one of the most

talented comedy queens ever,

Jinkx has stolen our hearts.

But can she mop the title

of America's Next Drag

Superstar?

What do you think?

Is it monsoon season?

Let us know.

Tweet us @RuPaulsDragRace,

#TeamJinkx.

Sound off at the RuPaul's Drag

Race Facebook page

or Instagram.

Coming up, drop-dead gorgeous

Sharon Needles.

- Boo.

- This season's fashion dos...

[cheers and applause]

And "no, she better don'ts."

plus, an exclusive Ru-on-Ru

interview.

And later, we reveal Untucked:

The Lost Episode,

as RuPaul's Drag Race:

Countdown to the Crown

continues.

[laughing]

[laughing]

America's Next Drag Superstar

has to do it all...

lip-synching...

dancing...

acting...

crunking.

Still, looking good never hurts.

- The look is not

that important.

- Ah!

- Ripped from the pages

of this season's look book,

our fashion dos and "oh, no,

she better don'ts."

Read it and weep, Anna Wintour.

Category is "crafty queens."

style to D.I.Y. for.

[buzzer]

- Shakira meets...

- Pinocchio.

- Category is

"executive realness."

Oh, is that an Adderall?

- Elementary school teacher?

[buzzer]

- Eleganza extravaganza!

Straight up glamour, no chaser.

[buzzer]

- This is very Singapore

Airlines.

- Come fly with me.

- Sashay, shantay.

[buzzer]

Duvet, duvet, duvet.

[buzzer]

[buzzer]

- Very Bed, Bath, & Beyonce.

- [chuckling]

- We call this one

"Ru wore it best?"

What becomes a legend most?

Living on the fringe!

Orange you glad

I wore this dress?

Shine bright like a diamond!

Gag on this, Michelle Visage.

This season's fashion dos and

"oh, no, she better don'ts" was

brought to you by peanut butter.

Peanut butter by RuPaul.

Must be jelly,

'cause jam don't shake.

Now, to find out what it means

to be the champion,

I've invited back our reigning

queen Sharon Needles.

- [laughing] Hi, Ru.

How are you?

- Now, everyone wants to know.

Who do you want to win?

- That's an obvious answer.

Lil' Pound Cake.

[both laughing]

- So if Alaska wins, can two

queens live happily ever after?

- Yeah, she spent a year

blowing my prize money.

So I would love to just get

a little bit of that back.

- Now, I wanna ask you

about winning,

and how has it changed

your life?

- This year has been

a nightmare, um, come true.

I've gotten to travel the world,

I've been the face of PETA,

I played Frank Furter in the

Rocky Horror Picture Show,

I came out with a whole album.

Um, what the crown can do

for you

is make all your dreams come

true if you let it.

- Yeah, wow.

- And it's been great to see

kids all over the world identify

with this, you know, kooky,

spooky, bat-sh*t crazy

drag queen

that I really thought would

just, uh, be making people

laugh in small bars

in Pittsburgh.

- Sharon, any words of wisdom

for America's Next

Drag Superstar?

- What other people think of you

ain't none

of your damn business.

- That's right.

- My advice, when in doubt,

freak 'em out.

And of course, what Lady Bunny

always says, "Retire!"

[both laughing]

- Oh, I almost forgot.

Do you have anything

to shamelessly plug?

- You can buy my album PG-13

now available on iTunes.

Oh, and make sure to check out

all the fabulous music

that the RuPaul Drag Race girls

have been making.

- Like what?

- Like these...

Tammie Brown's Love Pinata.

Rock the b*at by Nina Flowers.

Bebe Zahara Benet, Dirty Drums.

Raja, Sublime.

You Like It Wild

by Jessica Wild.

Shangela's Werqin' Girl.

I Wanna Have Some Fun

by Pandora Boxx.

Tatianna's Losing Control.

Look At Me, Tyra Sanchez.

Manila Luzon and Latrice

Royale's The Chop.

Major by Milan.

It's Honey by Honey Mahogany.

Honey Mahogany has a song?

- [laughs]

- Detox's Boy Is a Bottom.

Mimi Imfurst, Xelle, Party Girl.

Venus D-Lite's I'm Not Madonna

and many, many more.

- Wow.

That's the best mothertuckin'

playlist ever.

But on a serious note...

today you can vote

with your pocketbook.

So get off your ass,

go to a club,

and support

your local drag queens.

- Ru.

- [gasps]

- That was beautiful.

- Oh, Sharon.

I didn't know you were there.

You really are spooky.

I thought you had left.

- Boo.

- It's time to get up close

and personal

with top three queen

Roxxxy Andrews.

Hey.

Where my people at?

A cute kid from Orlando,

Roxxxy Andrews got her start

as a pageant queen.

She dropped 70 pounds...



Before dropping

into the competition.

But she never lost her thick

and juicy personality.

She won the first main

challenge,

then formed the super group

Rolaskatox.

A true knockout, Roxxxy always

came out swinging,

on the runway

or in the werk room.

- This isn't a joke to me.

- I don't think...

- This competition

is extremely serious.

- Roxxxy proved she could make

us laugh...

- [with lisp] I am ready

to toss your salad, Anita.

Get your life.

- Make us cry...

- [crying]

- And she could even make over

a soldier.

And in the music video,

Roxxxy's

hairography blew the other

girls away.

She could also be the first big

girl

to snatch the title of America's

Next Drag Superstar.

If you want Roxxxy,

let the world know.

Tweet us @RuPaulsDragRace

#TeamRoxxxy,

or show her some love

at RuPaul's Drag Race

Facebook page or Instagram.

Coming up...

Untucked: The Lost Episode.

Plus, a Ruvealing interview.

Don't mess with me, little boy.

And later, the music video world

premiere of The Beginning.

Don't move a love muscle because

RuPaul's Drag Race:

Countdown to the Crown

is about to pop off.

[laughing]

[laughing]

Now, sometimes when you tuck

things away, they get lost,

especially if you've been

sitting all day.

But lucky for you,

the long-lost episode

of Untucked

has not only been found,

it's been restored,

filled with extra

dramatic sound effects,

and brought to us by its host:

the one and only RuPaul.

Hello, hello, hello.

My dear, you look gorgeous.

Oh, you.

So what do you got for us?

Girl, it's a doozy.

I can't wait.

Rupaul, is it true that you

never get to see Untucked

until the show airs?

Yes, I see it

when America sees it.

They sh**t Untucked when the

judges and I are deliberating.

So it's not like I can be

in two places at once.

Duh.

Duh!

Now, Ru, while I have you here,

fans are dying to know what was

up with your lighting, girl,

in season one?

We couldn't even see you, child.

"Exsqueeze" me?

And just how damn old are you?

Oh, it's gonna be like that,

huh?

Are those your real teeth?

Well, I bought 'em.

Hey, Urkel, uh, you trying to go

Untucked on me right now?

Don't mess with me, little boy.

Oh, no "T," no shade,

Miss Thing.

Let's keep it cute.

Yeah, uh-huh.

That's what I thought.

Now, without further ado,

for the first time anywhere,

Untucked: The Lost Episode.

Welcome to Untucked.

This week, our top three queens

took it to court,

stating their cases for becoming

America's Next Drag Superstar.

- What they don't have,

I do have.

I have grace.

I have beauty.

I have professionalism.

- I was able to adapt and grow

while still being true

to who I am as a performer.

- Roxxxy was faced with

a challenge of presenting

a 16-year-old girl.

What did she present?

A tawdry, 27-year-old tramp.

And Jinkx Monsoon, she failed

three different looks.

- Afterwards, Roxxxy, Alaska,

and Jinkx

headed to

the Interior Illusions Lounge

to have an Absolut cocktail

and let off some steam.

- So how do y'all feel?

- Well, I wrote out the things

that I was gonna say

specifically about you two.

Then all of it seemed forced.

I was ready to tear down Roxxxy

and compare myself to Alaska.

But on the stage,

none of that seemed to matter.

- I knew exactly where I wanted

to go with it and made,

like, an outline.

But when I went to on the stage,

I was just coming

from the heart.

I made a choice not to call

everybody out on this runway

because doing that is not me.

- I just did the assignment.

I mean, we were supposed to,

like, cite exact things.

- Oh, Miss Thing.

Like, I could've sat there and

critiqued Jinkx and, you know,

critiqued Alaska

and these things...

I didn't wanna go there.

I just wanted to say...

- But I think that's

what they wanted us to do.

The assignment was specifically

not to give pageant answers.

Sorry, it's hard,

but it's our last challenge.

- I don't know.

I-I...all I could say was

that what I have,

you guys don't have, so...

- Like beauty and grace?

You said that onstage.

- No, I know.

- I may not have grace...

- [slurping]

- But I can possess beauty.

You can take a garbage bag

and be a f*cking beauty queen.

You can be glamorous without,

like, 1,000 million stones

on your dress.

- It's just how I know

how to do drag.

Right now in the gold bar,

there's a lot of tension.

It was, once again,

my defense going up.

And I realized

that I owed them an apology.

This has been such

a learning experience.

In the pageant world, I feel

like I'm on top of my game.

And coming into this,

it's a whole nother story,

where you're up against

all these girls

that can b*at you

at other things.

You're competing to be

the Next Drag Superstar.

And a superstar is not just

someone who can walk a runway

in a gown and be...

you know,

anybody can kinda do that.

- Except us.

- [laughs] Exc...

- Except you two 'cause you...

you can't possess it.

But, you know,

and anybody can do that.

And it's so much more than that.

- You know what's so funny,

is it has really been a similar

experience for me,

but in such a different way.

It got to a point where I felt

so att*cked by other drag queens

because I have my own way

of doing things.

And then I come here,

and then all of a sudden

I'm not a pretty girl,

I'm the comedy girl.

Where back home, I'm, like, one

of the prettiest drag queens

there are.

- And I didn't have to bring it

up on the runway,

but I really

wanted to apologize for what

I said to you in the werk room.

It was being mean and...

and I didn't mean it.

- It meant something to me that

you apologized,

just so that our last

interaction together

didn't have to be a fight.

- Wow. Bam, bam.

Oops.

Bam, bam.

Oh!

On fire.

Oh!

You caught me playing

with myself.

I mean, playing my fabulous new

game,

the RuPaul's Drag Race edition

of Dragopolis,

available May 6th for iPhone

and iPad on the App Store.

Fierce!

Now, which one

of my top three girls

is your Next Drag Superstar?

Are you Team Alaska, Team Jinkx,

or Team Roxxxy?

Don't go away.

Because we've got

the world premiere

of the music video

The Beginning,

as RuPaul's Drag Race: Countdown

to the Crown continues.

[whirring]

[laughing]

[laughing]

One week from tonight, herstory

will be made as we crown

America's Next Drag Superstar

at RuPaul's Drag Race: Reunited.

Who do you think deserves

to win...

the witty and wild Alaska...

- Hi-yee!

- This year's consummate

chameleon,

evolving at every turn?

Or the sleeper queen,

Jinkx Monsoon,

who brought Broadway brass

and vintage va-va-voom?

Or bronze bombshell

Roxxxy Andrews,

the queen of wham, bam,

thank you, glam?

I wanna hear from you.

Tweet us @RuPaulsDragRace.

Comment on Facebook and make

your voices heard everywhere.

Thanks to my countdown

correspondents,

Latrice, Willam,

and Sharon Needles.

And most of all,

I wanna thank you,

all my squirrel friends

out there watching at home.

We couldn't do it without you.

The world premiere of my new

music video The Beginning

is dedicated to you.

And remember,

if you can't love yourself,

how in the hell are

you gonna love somebody else?

Can I get an amen up in here?

all: Amen.

- That's right, baby.

Now let the music video play.

- These are serious allegations.

- We have one thing to say.

all: No comment.

[laughter]

- I plead innocent.

- I'm guilty of being fierce.

- You can't handle the "T."

- You're out of order.

Get it, get it

G-get it, get it

Get it, get it

G-get it, get it

Breaking up

Fading out

Holding on until tomorrow

Shake it off

Turn around

It won't be long

Till it's a brand-new day

This is the beginning

The beginning

This is the beginning

Of the rest of your life

- We want the "T."

- You can't handle the "T"!

- Sickening!

Of the rest of your life

You better get it, get it

G-get it, get it

Right, right

Get it, get it

G-get it, get it

Right, right

- The accuser

is one cold-blooded biatch.

- Objection!

Reading the witness.

- This had better be good.

That was then

This is now

Here we go

- The m*rder w*apon...

a size three stiletto.

- I wear a size 14.

- ♪ Miracles happen every day

This is the beginning

The beginning

This is the beginning

Of the rest of your life

- I can't face it.

I can't face it!

- What is it you can't face?

Of the rest of your life

- [spits]

- ♪ You better get it, get it

G-get it, get it

Right, right

Get it, get it

G-get it, get it

Right, right

Get it, get it

G-get it, get it

Right, right

Get it, get it

G-get it, get it

Right, right

Change the world

Change your mind

We defy space and time

You're out of order!

You're out

of order!

Why, I ought to throw the book

at all of you.

- Jesus!

What the...

- [grunts]

You, over here!

- Aah!

- ♪ We defy space and time

Change the world

Change your mind

Get it, get it

We defy space and time

Right, right

This is the beginning

The beginning

Court dismissed.

Of the rest of your life

This is the beginning

The beginning

This is the beginning

Of the rest of your life
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