02x06 - You Gotta Not Fight for Your Right to Party

[bunniefuu]

♪ Ooh, yeah, ooh, ooh ♪

Ooh! We have got some
serious work to do, my friend.

Yo!

Jackson, get out of the shower.

You're using up all the water.

Too bad!

You snooze, you lose!

Who's the loser now?

Ok, sister, it's on!

Oh, yeah? And so is this.

And this is on.

Oh, yeah!

Cold, cold, cold!

Good! And...

Not so good.

This is all your fault.

How am I supposed
to rinse and repeat?

Here's your rinse.

Do you want a repeat?

Good news!

I got the girl's
bathroom working

and the boy's bathroom
should be done in about 3 weeks.



That's not good news!

It is for me!

Now I can finally
get that tummy tuck...

And just in time
for swimsuit season.

Chicks will be digging that.

Yes, they will.



What am I supposed
to do about this?

Look for a carnival.

You're finally tall enough
to ride the bumper cars!

Ring! Hello?

It's the bride of Frankenstein.

She wants her hair back.

That's it. I've heard
about enough.

But it's her
fault! It's his fault!

It's both of your fault.

That's the reason why

from now on, until the
bathroom gets fixed,

you're both going
to be sharing Miley's.

Daddy say what?

This is so unfair!

She started it!

You know what? We
can get her a cat box.

Put it out on the
deck. Everybody wins!

Son, I want you to
go sit on the couch,

think about what
you're going to say next,

and then don't say it.

But... think. Now, go.

Why can't he just share yours?

'Cause, honey, that
would deny you two

the wonderful opportunity

to learn how to work together.

Besides, let's face it...

The boy's a pig.

Come on.

♪ You get the limo out front ♪

♪ ooh-ooh-ooh ♪

♪ hot styles, every
shoe, every color ♪

♪ yeah, when you're famous ♪

♪ it can be kind of fun ♪

♪ it's really you ♪

♪ but no one ever discovers ♪

♪ who would have
thought that a girl like me ♪

♪ would double as a superstar? ♪

♪ You get the best
of both worlds ♪

♪ chill it out, take it slow ♪

♪ then you rock out the show ♪

♪ you get the best
of both worlds ♪

♪ mix it all together ♪

♪ and you know that it's
the best of both worlds ♪

My eyes!

What have you done
to my bathroom?

Just a little reorganization.

My shaving stuff...

in this fancy new holder.

You're using one of my bras?

Actually, I'm using


The other one's
holding my hair stuff.

Check it out.

You could market these puppies.

Oh, you could call
them the bra basket.

Ooh! The brasket. Eh?

That cat box is looking
better and better.

Are those my good tweezers?

Yeah. And they work great.

No!

Ooh!

I finally got you, Stan.

Stan?

You name your nose hairs?

Just the really tough ones.

Daddy!

Get it off! Get it off!
Get it off! Get it off!

It burns! Aah!

It burns! Get it off!

It burns. It burns!

Daddy!

Gross! Ugh!

Ohh!

Stop it! Jackson,
I have to spit.

Me too!

Oops.

Daddy!

Jackson, may I please
bother you for a comb?

Of course.

And it's no bother
at all, sister dear.

Thank you!

That's more like it.

Now, you guys keep it up.

I gotta go apply
my sculpting gel

before I go all frizzy.

Get out of the way!

You're blocking the mirror!

It's my mirror and
I'll block it if I want to!

Stop it!

Sweet niblets!

Family meeting... now!

This is all your fault!

No!

Look at this!

It's a crime.

What am I supposed
to do about this?

I'm thinking it's a hat day.

I'm thinking you
don't want to know

what I'm thinking.

I'm thinking you're right.

Now, let me tell you two a story

about my days in the band.

Ohh!

Here we go.

We know, dad...

You had a back-up singer
named Celine dionowitz.

You told her to
shorten her last name.

And the rest... Is history.

That is a true story.

But are we talkin'
about that right now?

No. We're talking about the fact
that you two can't learn to get along.

She spit on my neck!

I almost wiped my
face with his underwear!

Daddy, I'm going to live
with that for the rest of my life.

Hush up. Now listen.

Me and the band lived
on that bus for a year.



and somebody always ate
a little too much barbecue.

But you know how we fixed it?

You opened all the windows?

Yes, as a matter
of fact, we did.

But we also learned to get along

by seeing life through
the other person's eyes.

And that's exactly what
you two are gonna do.

Oh, no.

Here comes Dr. Philbilly.

Now, Miley, I want you
to pretend to be Jackson.

And Jackson, you
pretend to be Miley.

Oh, sure. Give
him the good part.

Gee. I only hope
that I can do it justice.

Hi! I'm Miley!

Now I'm Hannah! Now I'm Miley!

I'm a real girl. I'm a pop star!

♪ Everybody makes mistakes ♪

♪ everybody has those days ♪

Except for me,
because I'm perfect!

Your turn.

My pleasure.

Girls. Cars. Nose hairs!

Good day!

I said good day, daddy. Whoo!

Now, I don't know about you,

but I feel much, much better.

All right. That's it.

It's time for Dr. Philbilly

to kick it up a notch.

Now,

the year that uncle
Earl bought aunt Pearl

a mulch maker
for Valentine's day,

they had to go to a
marriage counselor.

And they dressed them
up like oompa-loompas?

He said they needed a safe
way to work out their anger

so they could finally sit
down and talk with each other.

Dad, I thought you said

that v*olence is
never the answer.

It's not. But if
this little exercise

helps y'all get to a safe place

of genuine love
and communication,

then whack away.

I'm not hitting a girl.

Good. Then this should be fun.

Oof!

Come on.

Oh! Ok!

Now you've done it!
I am so gonna... oh!

Come on, butterball!

Is that the best you could...

Ok.

You guys ready to really
sit down and talk now?

I guess not.

Ugh! Get off me, blubber butt!

In your dreams, Hannah fat-Ana!

Move it!

I was here first!

Well, I was born first.

Don't you mean hatched?

You two are hopeless.

If you're gonna act like kids,

then I'm gonna treat you like
kids. You're both grounded.

What? Daddy,

I have Beyoncé's
big party tonight,

and she told me that Chris brown
totally wants to meet Hannah.

Well, Chris is just totally
gonna have to wait.

Come on, daddy. I... I mean,

can't you just ground Miley?

I mean, Hannah
didn't do anything.

Oh, here it comes.

I'm Miley! I'm Hannah!

I'm Miley! I'm
Hannah! Shut up! Oof!

Hey, you know what? You're
not the only one who has a life.

Dad, I'm taking Sienna
to panic at the disco.

Sienna grace?

Oh, she's a cutie.

I know!

Well, too bad.

Nobody's going
anywhere, except me...

To go upstairs
and take a hot bath,

and try to remember
the good old days

before you two could talk!

Way to go, Jackson.

Now I'm never going to meet...

Why are you smiling?
We just got grounded.

True.

But I just thought of
a way to unground us.

Now follow me.

Oh! I'm gettin'
real tired of this.

So far, not lovin' the plan.

♪ Ooh, yeah ♪

I heard all the quiet
and I got nervous.

Everything ok in here?

Y'all keep this up, and
the groundin' will be over

before you know it.

This is never gonna work.

Phew! Maybe not.

But on the bright side,
my pores are all tingly.

Jackson, you're a genius!

And my hero.

Until we get back home.
Then I hate you again.

Right back at you.

Now careful with the makeup.

I promised Thor we
wouldn't mess up his truck.

Oh, yeah.

I'd hate to get blush on his...

Half-eaten hoagie.

Would you stop complaining?

You know that we
couldn't take my car

without tipping off dad.

And I call dibs.

Oh, yeah. That Sienna
grace is one lucky girl.

Jackson, are you sure
we're going the right way?

I... I think we missed our turn.

There's no turn.

I would have seen a turn.

How can you see
anything with this fog?

Face it. We're lost.

We are not lost.

We're just... Not there yet.

Stop nagging me, woman.

I'm not nagging you.

Deer!

Whatever you say, honey.

No, deer!

Whoa!

Nice going, Ricky Bobby!

You could have
driven us off a cliff!

But I didn't.

Because I have
lightning reflexes.

And I'm cool in the crunch.

Whoa! Whoa! Aah!

Daddy!

Whoa! Oh!

♪ Ooh ♪

Uh... uh... don't
come in, daddy!

Y'all!

I'm sicker than a possum in a...

Possum hospital!

Y'all.

Relax. It's me.

Oh, and, by the way,

if Mr. Stewart
comes up, don't talk.

What are you doing?

We're supposed
to stay in our rooms

until they get back.

I know, but listen.

Wow, their plumbing
really is messed up.

That's my stomach.

I'm starving.

Well, too bad.

If we go downstairs, we
might run into Mr. Stew...

Hey, mile! Eep!

What do we do? Hide!

Not here! Get out! Out! Out!

Dinner's on the table.

You all right, darlin'?

Hey, I know you're upset

about not getting
to go to that party,

but you still gotta eat.

So I grilled up
your favorites...

Robbie Ray's hot...
whee, doggies!

Not hungry!

Really?

You sure do sound hungry.

Want me to bring you up a snack?

Uh-uh!

Hey, darlin'.

They ain't no sense
laying up here being sad.

Remember what used
to make you happy

when you was a little girl?

♪ Camptown lady sing this song ♪

♪ doo da, doo... ♪

Come on, darlin'. You
gotta doo da with your daddy.

Whoa, now.

Darrell stubbs. Y'all.

Ok, well, if you get to feeling
better, come on downstairs.

Really, honey, there'll
be other parties.

That's it.

Next time he comes
up, you're under the bed.

Honk for help. Honk for help!

Yeah, yeah, yeah! I know.

I would have thought of that.

Great. Looks like the only help

we're gonna be getting
is from a lonely bull.

How far down is it?

How should I know?

Well, look out the window.

Whoa!

Not like that!

Well, I'm sorry. I didn't
bring my extend-o-neck!

Ok. Ok, look.

This is all about
weight distribution.

Um, if we crawl out the back,

then the truck can't tip.

Ok. I'll go first.

Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
I should go first,

because I'm heavier.

Yeah, but I'm faster,

which means I can
get to my party quicker.

And... and then, you know,

come back with help for you.

Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

I cannot believe how
selfish you're being!

I'm not being selfish.

I'm thinking of my
millions of fans.

They'd be crushed if I d*ed.

People would miss me, too.

Oh, please!

Your teachers
would throw a party,

Thor would be too
upset about his truck,

and, trust me,

I can get daddy through it.

Whoa!

Um... Flip a coin. Good idea.

Heads.

Two out of three?

Sure. Why not?

Oh, that's right.

'Cause it'd be stupid!

Uh-oh. What?

My belt's caught.

Look, just... Just
try to grab something

and pull yourself through.

I can't.

There's nothing
but this rubber fish.

Oh, no.

Not rubber.

Ok, look, I'm just
gonna come around,

and I'm gonna pull you out.

What?! No!

Don't worry.

The weight of your big
head will keep us balanced.

Ok. I'll distract him.

You get the food.

Right.

Oh, but only mustard
on my doggie.

The regular kind,
not the fancy kind.

Uh, got it!

Ok. Oh, but not too much!

I don't want to
overpower the dog.

Unless there's relish.
That changes everything.

Would you just go? Ooh!

I'm going. Ok, ok.

Sheesh.

Well, Lilly, this is a surprise.

You know Miley's grounded.

Oh, I know. I'm here to see you.

Really?

Oh, yeah. It turns
out my uncle will

is a big Robbie ray fan,

and I was wondering
if I could get

your autograph for him?

Sure. Come on in.
Let me just grab a...

Oh! Slow down
there, cowboy! Uh...

I'm way ahead of you.

I brought uncle will's
special autograph book.

There's nothing in it.

Uh... That's because
you're his first!

How special is that?

Well, come on
in, and I'll sign it.

Uh! But it's such
a beautiful night!

Perfect... Autograph weather.

Let's not spoil it.

All right. Should I
make it out to will

or uncle will?

Actually, uh,
uncle will... Helm...

Von... curen... Garden... State.

Not so much!

Pressure on the pen.

Wouldn't want to poke a hole in

uncle Wilhelm Von
curengardenstate's special pad!

There you go, Lilly.

Why don't you read it
and make sure it's ok?

"Dear Lilly and Oliver..."

Oh, boy.

Keep going. It gets better.

"How dumb do y'all think I am?

Love, Robbie ray."

I like the love part.

Hey, Oliver!

Mm-hmm?

What's the matter, son?

Whee, doggies got your tongue?

Mm-hmm.

Ha ha! I'm out!

I'm free!

Jackson!

Dang it.

Ok.

Uh... What's wrong?

Nothing. Nothing. It's, uh...

It's just a bird. It's...

It's not like it's
gonna tip the truck.

It's all good.

Ok. Not so good.

Jackson! It's not
working. Just... just jump.

No way. I am not
leaving you here.

Don't be stupid.

Don't argue with me.

Look, we're gonna be ok.

We just have to work together.

And fast.

Oh, oh, ok! I'll
suck in, you pull.

Ok. 1, 2, 3... 1,


Yes! We did it!

Now let's get out of here.

I didn't hear a crash.

It must've caught on something.

Yeah, ground.

Nice cliff. What is that?

Like 2 feet?

Hey.



You still didn't leave me.

Yeah, I know.

What was I thinking?

Oh, shut up.

Well, I guess we should probably

go look for some help.

Yeah, let's go.
The road's this way.

No, miles, it's this way.

No, it's this way.

You know what? Whatever you say.

No, no, no, no.
Whatever you say.

I think this is gonna be
harder than we thought.

No, it won't.

Yeah, it will.

Uhh!

All in all, last night
turned out pretty well.

Everybody's safe,

and I think you finally learned

the benefits of
working together.

Yeah. Sure.

Yeah, dad, we
learned our lesson.

Uh-huh.

♪ Camptown lady sing this song ♪

♪ doo da, doo da ♪

♪ camptown
racetrack 5 miles long ♪

♪ oh, de doo da day ♪

I do love being a doo da daddy.