02x10 - Spa Day Afternoon

[bunniefuu]

All right, work it out, Rae.

Work it out. Yeah!

♪ I'm just a simple girl ♪

♪ with a private jet... ♪

Uh-uh!

This is my favorite
Myesha song ever.

You know girl, there's
only one problem with it.

What?

Not loud enough, man!

♪ I got a lot of diamonds ♪

♪ on my hands and feet ♪

♪ but I'm still Myesha
from up the street ♪

Hello, Mrs. B.

You girls ever think about
maybe turning off the music

and enjoying some
piece and quiet?

No.

Well, if you change your mind,

maybe you and I can spend
a nice weekend relaxing

and meditating

at the silent
gardens health spa.

Doesn't that sound fun?

Um, mom, I don't think fun
means what you think it means.

Oh, well, I'm
going this weekend,

so if you change your mind...

Not going to happen. No.

Oh, there she is.

Isn't that Myesha?

Chelsea, I just had a vision

that Myesha is going to be

at the spa with my
mom this weekend.

What?! Oh, my gosh.

That means I'll just
have to get there,

ditch my mom, so I can have
some real fun with Myesha.

Guess what, little missy?

You have got to get
me an autograph.

Have her sign right here,

next to my cousin's autograph.

Girl, your cousin isn't famous.

Well, not yet,

but we are expecting
big things from Earl.

♪ Let's go ♪

♪ if you could gaze
into the future ♪

♪ future, future ♪

♪ you might think life
would be a breeze ♪

♪ life is a breeze ♪

♪ seeing trouble
from a distance ♪

♪ yeah ♪ go, Rae.

♪ But it's not that easy ♪

♪ oh, no ♪
take it to the bridge now.

♪ I try to save the situation,
then I end up misbehaving ♪

♪ hey, now, say, now,
'bout to break down ♪

♪ yeah, come on and
ride with the Rae, hey ♪

♪ and if the future
looks gray now ♪

♪ then everything's
gonna change now ♪

♪ all right, keep it going ♪

♪ that's so Raven ♪

♪ it's the future I can see ♪

♪ that's so Raven ♪

♪ it's so mysterious to me... ♪

[font color="yellow"]Captioning sponsored by
[font color="yellow"]abc cable networks group

♪ that's so Raven ♪

♪ it's so mysterious
to me, yeah ♪

yep, that's me.

Oh, mom.

This is so fancy!

Shh!

Honey,

silent gardens.

Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't know...

I'll show you around.

Isn't' it beautiful?

So peaceful and quiet.

Yes, definitely a place

where, say, a famous
pop star might hang out.

Yes! Raven!

Shh.

Silent gardens.

I'll just go check in.

And I'm going to check
out this yoga class.

Excuse me, diva checking.

Diva checking.

Oh, sorry. Sorry about that.

Keep doing... keep doing...

oh, hey, how you doing?

My name is Raven.

How do you do
that? How do you...

Oh, there she is!

Isn't that Myesha?

It is?

Well, what a surprise.

Carl, listen, after
my yoga class

book a Swedish massage
for me, and a seaweed wrap

for my truffles, yes.

Oh, and listen.

Make sure we are
not disturbed, okay?

Too bad we didn't
bring a camera.

I'm sure I can dig one up.

This is just too easy.

Oh, what a cute little doggy.

Code red! Code red!

Swarm! Swarm! Swarm!

I just wanted to pet the dog.

Not on my watch, ma'am.

This could be a little
tougher than I thought.

Okay, g*ng.

While Mrs. B and
Raven are at the spa,

getting their rub on,

we are going to get our grub on.

Did you hook us up
with something special?

Mm-hmm.

I got a new dish
I want you to try.

I'm going to add it
to the chill grill menu.

I hope it's your
blueberry cobbler,

'cause I got on my eating pants.

No, it's not the cobbler,

it's even better.

It's my mom's famous
pickled artichoke

mashed potatoes.

Eddie, remember I made
them at the block party last year?

Do I... man, those spuds
were off the chain, Mr. B.

Yeah, I love that stuff.

Well, great, 'cause
I made a huge pot.

Hey.

I hate that stuff.

I don't get it.

Mr. B. Is a great cook, but
that dish is just pure evil.

Come on, what
are we going to do?

I mean, we can't tell him,

it's his mother's
treasured recipe.

We'll just hurt his feelings.

He's my dad, I should tell him.

Okay, who's ready?

They are.

Mm, yummy.

Pickled artichokes and potatoes,

it's a match made in heaven.

Eddie, I remember
at the block party,

your plate
disappeared like... that!

So I am giving you
a double helping.

Man, Mr. B., this is
really going to hit the spot.

And stay there.

And son, you get
to lick the spoon.

Thanks, dad.

Mm, kapowie!

Okay, guys, come on, dig in.

Oh, all right.

That's all you had to
say, Mr. B., you know?

I'm going to start
on a second batch.

I thought you were
going to say something.

I couldn't! He looked so happy!

Well, come on, we've got
to get rid of this first batch

before he comes
out with the second.

Well, where can we stash it?

Uh...

Pants.

Oh, man.

Okay, guys, all clear.

Bring in Myesha for a private

yoga session.

Right, copy that.

Myesha, your yoga instructor

is stuck in traffic,

she's going to be a little late.

Okay, all right.

Okay, I'm not going
to let it bother me.

I'm here to relax,

so I'm just not going
to let it bother me

that the whole
world is incompetent!

Hello, I am the yoga teacher.

I was stuck in
traffic, but now...

I'm unstuck.

So, if I could just,

uh, get to Myesha to start
my private yoga class...

Or you can just join the class.

You know what?

Can we just get started,

'cause right now, I'm
a bundle of nerves.

Ooh, then we should definitely

unbundle those nerves.

Let's get started with
something that I like

to call, uh...

breathing.

Breathing, okay?

We're going to start
with the simple breathing.

Breathe in...

and breathe out.

That's great.

Breathe in.

Fabulous.

Breathe out. Fabulous.

I'm starting to feel
some bad vibes, and

definitely some bad breath.

You know what?

Myesha's bored with breathing.

And that ends the breathing
portion of our program.

So when we going
to get to the poses?

Right, right, the
poses, the poses, right.

Okay.

The first thing that we're
going to pose is, as, uh...

is a turtle.

A turtle?!

I never heard of that.

That's because it's new.

All right, let's get started.

Bring your arms in, everyone.

I said everyone in the room.

Thank you.

Arms in like you're
grasping the air.

Legs around,

circular motion, arch your back

down, head down.

Bring your head into your hands

and close your eyes. Fabulous.

Now, I would like

all of the boy turtles
to the back of the room.

Carl, to the back of the room.

Go on, go on, like good turtles.

Great.

All right, now, Myesha...

I'm a good turtle, aren't I?

Yes, you are, man.

You're the best turtle
I've ever seen, yeah!

Myesha, I just
wanted to let you know

that I'm your biggest fan,

and if wouldn't mind
hooking a sister up with

a autograph and a few pictures.

Here, sign right
here next to Earl.

What is this?

Carl, back in your
shell right now, zen.

Nothing, girl, just
smile big for the camera.

But... ow!

What are you doing?

I have sensitive retinas.

Will you get here out of here?

No, stop!

Bad turtles!

Look, free protein shake!

Oh, my truffles.

Truffles, truffles,
baby, you okay?

She dognapped my baby!

Will you get that girl?!

I want her arrested!

Whew!

Glad that's over with.

There she is!

Swarm! Swarm! Swarm!

Serenity.

Mom, big problem.

Serenity over.

You are not going to
believe what just happened.

Oh, I heard.

Somebody stole Myesha's dog

and now she wants to
have the woman arrested.

Well, I don't blame her.

What kind of creep would
steal poor little ol' truffles.

He's harmless.

Oh, snap! I'm the creep!

Raven, you stole the dog?!

No, mom, it must have
jumped into my bag when I was

pretending to be
her yoga teacher.

What?!

Is anyone in there?

We're doing a
search of the area.

Just a minute.

Rae, just give them back the dog

and explain what happened.

Uh, mom, you remember

when you tried
to touch truffles.

These people swarm first
and ask questions later.

We need to come in.

It's an emergency situation.

Come in.

Ma'am, have you seen

a yoga-teaching
celebrity pooch-napper?

Excuse me.

Can't a large woman
relax in peace?

Just because my head is
disproportionate to my body

doesn't mean I don't
deserve my privacy.

Right. Sorry.

A word of caution.

This girl's dangerous.

If you see her, call me.

'Cause I'm taking her down.

That's my stomach, uh, growling.

Hush, stomach.

Stay, stomach.

Stay!

Good stomach.

Good stomach.

Okay, Rae, do you want
to tell me what's going on?

Okay, mom. Well...

The reason I came
to the spa with you

was because I had
a vision that Myesha

was going to be here
and I wanted to meet her.

So you lied to me.

You didn't come here
to have fun with me.

This is fun.

You cleaned your plates.

Time to dirty 'em up again.

Okay, guys, look,

I got to go take a shower

and get ready for work.

I'm going to leave
this for you right there.

Come on, dig in, dig in.

Oh, great.

Oh, okay.

Ugh! That's awful.

Come here.

No way.

No more potatoes in my pants.

You know what? He is right.

We better go dump
this in the sink.

The sink.

Chels, you are such a genius.

Really?

'Cause I don't actually
really get that a lot.

Hey, can we move this along?

This first batch is
starting to harden.

Ooh!

It's not going down!

The sink won't
swallow this stuff either.

b*at it!

Now, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait, wait!

It's gone!

Yay.

We saved ourselves.

And more importantly,
Corey, we saved mankind.

Ooh!

Oh, man, I got
to call a plumber.

There's a weird slime
coming out of the shower.

Why does this slime smell
like grandma's potatoes?

Well, uh... Because we kind

of dumped them down the sink

and they must have backed
up through the shower.

Why'd you dump
'em down the sink?'

'cause Corey's pants were full.

Full of what?

Your potatoes.

Dad, they're just nasty.

Guys, why didn't you tell
me that you didn't like 'em?

Well, because we didn't want
to hurt your feelings, Mr. B.

To be perfectly honest, guys,

I never really liked
'em much, either.

So why do you keep making 'em?

'Cause you told
me you liked 'em.

Which is exactly what I
used to tell my mother.

Okay, look, guys, from now on,

if you don't like something,
then just tell me, okay?

Cool with me.

Cool. All right.

Well, dad, I got to tell you,
since we're being honest,

your potatoes are
rubbing me the wrong way.

Corey, I already
know you don't like 'em.

No, they are rubbing
me the wrong way!

I got to get out of these pants.

Okay, I found out

that Myesha's massage
is here in five minutes,

so we leave the dog,
Myesha finds him,

we hit the road,

and we'll pretend like
this never happened.

Oh, mom, I love that plan.

Especially the pretending part.

Come here, truffles. All right.

Auntie Raven's going
to leave you here

to find your mommy, okay, sugar?

Don't go into any
more strange baths.

Not good.

Carl, I'm going to be in
here getting my massage.

Mom, she's early.

I thought divas
were always late.

And listen, you
better guard this door,

because I heard that
maniac is still on the loose!

I really need this massage.

This has been the
worst day of my life.

And I miss my truffles.

Who are you?

Guten tag, hello,
and "vat's uppen"?

I am inga, your
Swedish masseuse.

Then what are you
doing under the table?

This is where we
start, with the lips.

We pull and we pull
like milking the cow.

My lips are fine!

All the tension is in my neck.

Okay, then, here we go.

Kneading the necken.

Okay, now you're
a Swedish meatball.

Wait a minute.

What are you doing?

Where is the oil?

Ja, the oil.

Where is the oil?

Got to get the oil

for the massaging the necken.

Here we goin'.

Just a moment on the oil.

Excuse me.

What's taking so long?

Oh, wait a minute.

So much tension in the necken.

Got to relax and let it go.

Gotten the oil.

How y'all doing?

It's you.

And you got my truffles!

Carl!

Oh! I got you now, missy!

Come to mama.

Don't you touch my baby.

I'll get her, ma'am!

Don't you touch my baby.

Oh, mom!

Mom, are you okay?

Get off me, bigfoot!

I believe this belongs to you.

Oh, truffles. Oh, baby.

Mommy was so worried about you.

Did the bad little
girl hurt you?

Oh, no, that was an accident.

Carl, don't just stand there.

Get her out of here.

Back up, Carl.

Wait a minute.

How can you stand there
and defend that sick, twisted...

Uh-uh-uh, hold up, girlfriend.

I know you're a
pop diva and all,

but nobody talks that
way about my daughter.

Well, your daughter
stole my truffles.

Look, Myesha, Raven
is your biggest fan.

All she wanted to
do was meet you.

Yeah, Myesha.

A couple
autographs... Picture...

Lock of hair.

Raven...

I think someone owes
someone an apology.

Right.

And Carl...

I accept.

Raven.

Myesha, I'm sorry I
ruined your weekend.

And, mom, I'm
sorry I lied to you

just so I could meet Myesha.

So that's it, huh?

You lied to your own
mother just to meet me.

And, girl, that is so cool!

That is so sweet! You go, girl!

Carl, don't just stand there.

Get me one of my cds and a pen,

'cause Myesha has
some autographs to sign.

Mom, despite everything
that happened today,

I had real fun
hanging out with you.

Really?

You know, I do
lots of fun things.

You should come
to my gardening club.

It's radish week.

Oh, it is?

That'd be fun.

Or we could go to
a Myesha concert.

Carl, hook 'em up
with some tickets.

Yeah, Carl, some tickets.

Backstage passes I would like.

I would like a limo ride,

and girl, maybe you
could put me on the stage

and I could be
your backup dancer.

♪ I'm just a simple
girl with a private jet. ♪

♪ I'm just a simple
girl with a private jet ♪

I do not get paid
enough for this.

♪ I got so much money and
my friends are all in debt ♪

♪ I got a lot of diamonds
on my hands and feet ♪

♪ but I'm still Myesha
from up the street ♪

♪ she's still Myesha! ♪

Isn't that how it goes?