I used to love the nightlife and hang
out in a bar
I used to hit the run but then I hit a
cup
money
settlement to see me through the strike
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that's absurd
a newborn baby is much smarter than an
old chimpanzee well I seen a really old
Jim make balloon animals and juggle at
the same time show me a baby that can do
that certainly a really old chimp is
more entertaining than a baby but
smarter absolutely not
I got a doozy
what's smarter a hockey player or a
[ __ ] Dolphins goalie or forward boy
those monkey circuit lab when they try
right
that ain't a sign of fighting my friend
that'd be the sound a jungle of course
and as in all courtship rituals the male
is giving the female a present in this
case a banana
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where do you buy your groceries Dutch
ain't nobody else giving some of that
sweet sweet monkey cake you'll be
comfortable right over here this way you
can see the world go by can't believe it
two weeks in this stupid cast but I
taught those she-devils not to come
around here trying to rob us more
they were Girl Scouts trying to sell us
cookies that's what they want you to
believe I suppose those women watching
from the sidewalk were their mothers the
oldest trick in the book oh well it
could be worse you could be one of them
[Laughter]
to be funny moving ahead this is for
your own good
time you got proactive with your
coordinates
how about my foot gets corrected with
your ass so you're not so dependent
I look like a dork with a dork on my
head
what's this swizzle sticks supposed to
do anyway think of it as a finger you
can use it to push buttons or move
things around can I use it to poke out
my eyes so I don't see what I look like
I am NOT going out in public like this
I'm gonna let you in on a secret
whipping keeping from you here to rise
for years you know the key to looking
good hang out with ugly people
accessorize oh that is so your color it
brings out the grey in your complexion
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please just get a g*n and pull the trick
Oh what you just wear it who knows it
might help make your days bearable
that's what the booze is for and look
where that got me
ah unpucker that aussie mug you win okay
I'll try it for one day but lose the
pansy both
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ha there's one advantage to having no
feeling down there hmm man with bum leg
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excuse me
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seems like you're getting the hang of it
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you want proactive
I'll give you proactive
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primates your monkey to success the
manager makes me say that how can I be
of service so what's the surprise let's
just say I've given Reilly a whole new
look this might take a little getting
used to guys I'd like you to meet Rocco
Rocco this is my girlfriend Franny and
my overtly h*m* Australian
therapist Spaulding Rocco is my new
hands and feet well hello there little
man Oh what Garside I've got a theme for
hairy backs Rocco can do anything cook
clean fetch things you think a monkey
can do my job okay but any [ __ ] good
boy Rocco
that's it circulates Riley what are you
doing you're treating him like some
trained monkey
not some trained monkey the best trained
monkey we have to release him back into
the wild this instant animals should not
be used like this no animals are used
like this every day you prefer he was in
a lab testing cosmetics personally if my
moisturizer is hypoallergenic because
some lab coated nerd squirts poison down
a rat's throat well squirt away geek boy
I think you're being incredibly uncaring
I'm selfish of course I am that's what I
do
what's your point
makes no sense whatsoever but I'm
telling you is the God's honest truth
how the hell could a pound of feathers
be just as smart as a pound of land look
what the monkey dragged this is Rocco do
not teach him any disgusting habits
grandma that you very cool your own
monkeys
so does Rocco do anything know what I
mean get your head out of the gutter
blazer I'll let you know Rocco
water would you look at that if he
learns to make change I'm out of a job
Rocco pretzels please Wow
it's like having your own hairy personal
assistant the possibilities are endless
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this is feeling very familiar
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that'll teach him to monkey around with
me
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just a touch more salt and one more
thing we usually remove the fish
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hey guys host a crippled business today
Chris what the hell is this oh say
goodbye tear monkey monopoly this here
is bingo we was so impressed with your
Harry helpful touch thought I'd get one
of my own
bingos the best thing that ever happened
to me that I can remember anyway wait a
minute these monkeys were never intended
for hi I got a delivery wonderful
they've arrived let's get the little
fellas in here oh it's my hair okay
first impressions are so important
cannot be good
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yeah that's it Rocko there's a big nut
what light through yonder window breaks
it is the east and Juliet is the Sun
come on do your line you blind you
superfly
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Sybok days are you still going on about
those damn monkeys I was 10 years old
visiting the circus for the first time
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it was a fabulous show and the highlight
was Bobo the Magnificent suddenly the
tire on his unicycle blew and Bobo went
berserk
wasn't about to give up my peanuts I
just paid for them
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I am keeping Rocco no discussion fine no
discussion about the monkey that belongs
in the wild and no discussion about the
fact that you won't grow if you don't at
least try to do things yourself
you know you and Spaulding just think
it's a walk in the park Bing me don't
you
speaking of Spaulding why isn't he here
helping with the laundry
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Riley it's gotten out of hand with all
these monkeys here okay I'm with you
there
these guys are using their monkeys like
their slaves or something Braco easy on
the starch would you if you won't listen
to me at least listen to Debra Debbie
give me one good reason why I should
listen to her because if you don't you
can say goodbye to technically those are
two good reasons we were 50 feet in the
air there was only one way to get me
down
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ever since I've had a terrible fear of
monkeys and tranquilizer nights well you
know I feel a little better with that
off my chest
I'm sorry dear I wasn't listening do you
like the color of this nail polish now I
think it's important that you try to
improve your lives but really do you
think trained monkeys are the answer you
betcha
I'm the only one here who actually needs
a monkey oh yeah when you're a head on a
skateboard every day's a freakin picnic
hello see these hands no of course you
don't because I don't have well even if
you did I couldn't see them okay
everyone settle down but the way I look
at it is if one monk is good then more
monkeys is more better fine Logica fun
bro
but disobey the question should my and
amuse be don't laugh in a while I'll
answer that as if I understood if wild
animals were left in the wild we
wouldn't have cows milk or wool or
seeing-eye dogs or or circus elephants
stomping innocent civilians to death in
public arenas Oh like I guess that's
really an argument for her side in there
okay the point is are we using them to
improve the quality of our lives at the
expense of theirs I hate when you ask us
questions that make us think hi hi you
wanted to see me yeah I want to
apologize for this whole monkey business
I thought a lot about it and you're
right oh oh I have to sit down
are you all right yes it's just the
shock of you apologizing and admitting
you're wrong it caught me off guard
it's Spaulding's job to take care of me
monkeys belong in the wild
even Rocco they told him to get off so I
think she's getting off once and for all
there are no a barkeep one more over
here
that's it Jojo shake your monkey make
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he was in love port beats yeah
harm monkey I was talking about
Spaulding you know it's funny they
didn't want to go that's why they were
freaking out yes but it's for their own
good look it used to living in the wild
again we all have to adjust to changes
in our lifestyle tell me about it so did
you learn anything
two things I shouldn't rely on anyone
human or otherwise when it comes to
dealing with my quadriplegia good for
you and the second thing a bit of monkey
meat sliding in my ear really turns me
on
huh huh I'll see what I can do oh well
things will get back to normal now we
can only cross our fingers well some of
us
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you