[ horn honking ]
- You all heard the bell!
Get to class!
Schnell!
Go on, get to class!
Schnell!
I mean it!
Henry! Schtopp!
- Uh, Miss Shapen...
- Yeah? What?
- Why are you riding a tricycle?
- Oh because.
Last night, right before I fell asleep,
I stepped in cat food.
- And...?
- And by the time I woke up,
my cats had eaten part of my left foot.
- Oh geez! - Oh my god!
- Now Henry...
I'm thinking of a number
between and .
- That's cool for you.
- Guess what the number is.
- Uh...thirty-eight?
- Wrong! The number was thirt--
Pick another number!
- Uhhh...seventy-four.
- Wrong! Now you have to do me a favor.
- Ulch...Why?!?
- Because you picked the wrong number.
- May I just go to class please?
- No. Just stand there and say something every once in a while.
You too, Curly Sue.
Now this favor...
is about my niece, Noelle...
- Ooo, I love the name Noelle.
- Don't talk yet, Charlotte!
- Sorry.
- My niece is coming to visit,
here in Swellview.... - Okay.
And normally, I would have her stay with me,
but she's allergic to cats.
- Oh.
- And nuts. Cats and nuts.
- My cousin's allergic to nuts.
- Perfect timing.
You see Charlotte?
That's how you chime in.
Now, what was I talking about?
- Uhh...Your niece, Noelle, is allergic to cats.
- And nuts. Even nut dust.
So I want Noelle to stay at your house.
- What? Why my house?
- Because you guessed the wrong number!
- Hi...Aunt Sharona?
- Oh, hey. That's her.
Noelle...this is Henry.
You'll be crashin' at his place.
- Hiiii...Hey. It's really cool to meet you.
- Uh, stay at my house! - What--what are you doin'?
- I mean Noelle needs a place to stay, so!
- Well she can stay--
- I don't have any cats or nuts! - Well, neither do I!
- I mean, Miss Shapen, I could totally just--
- Hey! Who guessed the number wrong?
Me! I guessed wrong!
That means, she has to stay at my house.
Right Noelle? Thank you.
- Oh man, this is pathetic.
- Oh, Charlotte, will you please get to class?
- But I...
All right... you people are crazy.
Seriously, all a'you.
Cray...zeeee.
- You know I'm right.
- Yeah, I know you're annoying me.
- Come on, you pushed my last girlfriend
out of a window.
- Okay, only because
she was chasing Charlotte with a power tool!
- All right, all right...
What's this back-n-forth banter about?
- Okay--when two guys, who are buddies,
like the same girl, which guy gets her?
- Yeah, which guy gets her?
- "Gets her?"
Umph...what does that mean?
- Oh, I think they mean, uh...
which guy "obtains" her.
- Yeah, like, gets to have her.
- Mmhmm, for his own.
- You guys!
Miss Shapen's niece is a person.
She's not yours to "get" or "have".
She's not the last half of a sandwich.
- What's she saying? - Um...I guess--
- I'm saying, you should both ask her out,
and maybe let Noelle decide
which one of you she wants to go out with.
- What? - Pfft...
- "Let her decide."
- Okay! - Genius!
- What? Are you guys afraid to ask Noelle
which one of you she wants to go out with?
- Pfft. Yeah, right. No...
I doubt it, all right.
- Yeah, I am so sure.
I fear no man. - More like, not afraid.
- Hey, I just don't want you to be upset
when Noelle chooses to take the J-train.
- Uh, okay...
well the only thing more powerful than the J-train is...
...the H-b*mb.
[ makes expl*si*n sound ]
- I'm sorry "H-b*mb"
but here come da J-Train.
Chugga chugga, chugga-chugga CHOOO CHOOOOO.
- Well...Boom! - A chugga chugga,
chugga-chugga CHOOO CHOOOOO.
- Bwah! - Chugga chugga...
- Chugga chugga choo choo! - Boom! Bam!
[ g*n powers on ]
- It all just kinda happened.
I wanted an after-school job.
But then, an indestructible superhero
hired me to be his sidekick.
- Ah!
- Now we blow bubbles... and fight crime.
Feels good!
[ theme music ]
- Call it. - Up the tube!
Aw, my boot! - Ha!
- Oh come on! Mom!
- No. - Daaaad!
- Well... - No!
- No!
- Ulch! I don't get why it's such a big deal!
- We don't get why it's a big deal.
- I mean, I see why it's such a big deal.
I-I just... I'm sorry, what?
- Mom, it's one date, with one boy!
- You are too young to go on dates with boys.
- Ulch...Okay... I know what's going on here.
You guys just don't like the idea
of me going out with Kale.
- Now Piper... - It's true!
You think Kale's a loser,
just 'cuz his dad has no job
and 'cuz his mom drives a dirty bus!
- Well, I don't feel comfortable
having this conversation about Kale
while he's in the room.
- Oh, you're gonna be so sad when Noelle chooses me.
This is gonna be great. - All right man...
- I can't wait to ask her. - Oh I wish you would--
- Chugga-chugga CHOOO CHOOOOO!
- You can't keep doing that.
- Hey Henry, your teacher's niece
is upstairs getting settled in the guest room.
- Gooooood.
- Yeah, good for me.
- 'Scuze me.
Mom, Dad...
I won't be available this Saturday night,
because I will be taking our house guest on a date.
- Mmm-mmm...Scoff!
- Don't scoff at me!
- I scoff!
Because I will be taking Noelle on a date this Saturday!
- Wait...
you're saying that you have a date this Saturday night?
- Yeah, that's right. - Yeah, that's right.
- Okay! If I go on a double date with Henry or Jasper,
then can I go out with Kale?
Look, your mom and I agree you are too young to be--
- Actually, if it's a double date
with Henry or Jasper, then... I guess it's okay.
- And that's final.
- Noelle!!!
- Hiii. Piper, did you need me?
- Yeah. This Saturday night,
my brother Henry and this guy Jasper
both wanna take you on a date.
- Oh my gosh that's so n--
- Yeah yeah pick one!
- Um...
I mean, this is a little awkward, but...
I guess Jasper.
- Yeah baby!
A'chugga-chugga CHOOO CHEW ON THAT!
- Oh, wait wait wait. Wait wait wait...
This is...this is a classic mix-up heh...
Ah, Noelle, I think you're confused.
I'm Henry. That's Jasper.
I'm...I'm this one.
- I know.
And you're very sweet but...
Jasper, I'd love to go out with you
on Saturday night.
- What?!?
- Yes! Hey Kale...
you and me, Saturday night.
Go buy a new shirt. - 'Kay-kay.
- I...I don't, I don't mean to be...
it's just...why him?
- I dunno. I guess...
I just like his smile.
- Hey... What you doin'?
- I don't wanna talk about it.
- He's pouting because Noelle wanted to go out
with the J-Train and not the H-b*mb.
- I said I don't wanna talk about it,
so let's not talk about it, all right?
How 'bout that? Gahh...
- Okay. Okay.
So where'd Jasper take her for dinner?
- Ulch! I don't know.
- They went to some new restaurant
called The Basement.
- The Basement?
- Where's that?
- Noelle found it.
She said it's supposed to have amazing seafood.
- Ooo, wow, amazing seafood,
I sure hope Jasper doesn't choke on a shrimp.
- Hey, you know what'll cheer up
a teenage pouty pants?
Cleanin' the boss's bathroom.
- I don't think that-- - I'm serious.
- Would you prefer this pink one?
[ alarm rings ]
- Uh-oh... - What's up?
- Emergency. Looks like...
it's a video from the Swellview police.
- Captain Man, Kid Danger, listen.
We just found a kid lying in this alley...
and his teeth are all gone!
But, uh, my partner and I need to go...
'cuz we gotta take our wives
to see that show, "Mama Mia."
So we're gonna leave the kid with no teeth
here, lyin' in the alley.
- What? Nooo nooo. What?
- Bye.
- Uh! Dahhhhh!
Mama Mia!
Why do the Swellview cops
always dump everything on me and Henry?
That's not fair!
- Oh let's just go.
I mean, at least it's somethin' to do.
- Fine, whatever.
Charlotte, if you get bored here,
there's a toilet up in my bathroom
that could really use a good scrubbing.
And now I don't have a pink toilet brush.
Great...
- Hey! Hey, over here.
- Alright son, wake up. Come on. Hey. Hey.
- Woah, woah, woah! - Hey. Hey. It's alright.
- Can you get on your feet? There you go.
I'm Captain Man.
- You don't need to introduce yourself.
- What's your name? - [ mumbles ]
- [ mumbles ]
- Son...what happened to you?
- [ mumbling ]
- Ahh...
Okay, we're not gonna be able to understand this freak.
- He has no teeth
it's really hard to talk without teeth!
- Yeah, you're probably right.
Here hold this.
- Gentlemen, ah, just a second fellas...
- I noticed you're both old, so...
by any chance do either of you have false teeth?
- Ulch...
- What? What? What'd I say?
- Thinking that all old people
have false teeth is a stereotype. Okay?
And we don't like stereotypes.
- Oh. But...
do either of you wear false teeth?
- Yes, we both do.
- I see.
Well, on my authority as Captain Man,
I need to borrow your false teeth.
- Okay.
- Thanks. - Welcome.
- Okay son, open your mouth
and I'll try to... get these in there...
Don't. Don't fight it.
Just...there we go.
- Alright.
Now try to tell us your name.
- I'm...I'm...Sebastian.
- Sebastian! - Ohhh...Sebastian!
- I thought he was saying Samantha!
- That's--that's weird.
- That's not even a boys name. - That's a girl's name.
- Sebastian. - That's funny...
- So what happened? - Yeah, what happened?
- Well, uh... I met this girl...
and she asked me out to dinner...
but then she took me to this place called...
The Basement.
- The Basement?
- Wait, wait, that's where Noelle took...
took "you-know-who" to dinner!
- Yeah! Noelle! That was the girl's name!
- Son, do you remember anyone else
from this, uh... this basement?
- No! - D'ah!
-Wait, yeah!
Uh, there was a man...
she called him...Drill Finger.
- Drill Finger. - Oh my god.
- Help us! - We're stuck in here!
- Somebody! We need help!
- Please! - Help us!
- Shut up!
- Noelle, why would you do this to me?
- Because I want money,
and 'cuz I don't care about you.
- I appreciate your honesty.
- Now, prepare to have your teeth removed!
- Oooh... - Uh-uh.
- We gotta get outta here...
- Piper, try to reach inside my pants pocket,
and pull out what's inside.
- Okay.
What is this?
- My lip balm.
- Well what are you gonna do with it?
- Moisturize my lips.
They're really chapped.
- Ulch... - Wait no! D'ah...
- Hey! I wanna know what you're gonna do to us!
- Fine. You want the pipe?
Here's the pipe.
Those are elderlies.
Elderlies with bad teeth.
- And they want what you young people have.
- You mean...a future?
- Nooo.
- They need teeth!
- Yes...young, strong, healthy teeth.
- And they're willing to pay for it.
See this? See the wad?
- Yeah. - Well, yeah...
- Yeah, my parents could really use that.
- Stop talking to them and take out their teeth!
- Yeah! - Teeth!
- Take 'em out! - Yeah!
- Ahhh...ahhh... ahhhhhhhh!!!
[ crash ]
- Owwwwwww!
The door didn't break!
- Then here, let me help you.
- Whoah--wait, what are you gonna--
- It's Captain Man and Kid Danger!
- You threw me through the door!
- Well, the past is the past.
Alright, Drill Finger.
- What?
- I'm taking you downtown.
- No chance!
Feel the finger!
- Ah! Ah! Ahhh...hmmm.
- What the--?
It was turning before...
It--you broke my finger bit!
- Yeah well, I'm indestructible.
What'd you think was gonna happen?
Kid, toss me that thing.
- Uh...okay, but it's right here--
- Hurry Kid! - Alright.
- Alright, Drill Finger,
now I'm no rabbi, but...
- Ahh!
- Mazel tov.
- You cut off my drill!
- Yeah! From now on, you're just..."Finger".
- Nooooooo!!!
- Kid, you release those three,
round up those elderlies and that evil teenage girl.
- Oh no! - Aww no...
- Go!
- Now my drill bit is so embarrassing.
- Stand right there and don't move.
- What if I have an itch?! - Then you just let it itch--
you let it itch!
- Okaaaay!
- Great...
- Hey, can you release me next?
- Why you?!?
- Because I need some lip balm.
My lips are getting drier by the minute!
- Ahhhh!!!
- Here, use my lip balm.
- But I'll get your germs!
- Yeah, lucky you.
And you are free.
- att*ck him!!!
- Stomp his feet!
- Owww!
- Get 'em!
He tried to take my teeth!
- Okay! Everybody stop!
I don't like hurting old people.
- Shut up!
- Kid Danger! Look out!
[ crying ]
- Oh! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!
Hey! Hey, are you okay?
- Stupid Millennial!
- Kid Danger! Noelle's getting away!
- Uhh, I'm kinda busy!
- You ruined my date!!!
- All right, all right...
That's not your job.
Down ya go.
- She tried to escape!
- Thank you, now go wait outside.
- I wanna go wait outside!
- And you--stay there.
- D'all right. That's enough!
Leave 'em alone. Come on. Let's go.
One at a time. - Yeah. Let's go!
- Come on! - Lookin' at you golf pants.
- Yeah, come on! - So sick! Come on!
- There we go! Let's go pork rind.
- You too, "On Golden Pond."
- No teeth for you.
- You...
stealing kids' teeth... to make money.
Wearing a romper!?!
You disgust me. Come on.
- I disgust you?
I...really...disgust you?
- Uh, well...
your--your actions disgust me.
But physically...
y-you know, you make me happy.
- Well, maybe you could...
change me...y'know.
Teach me to be a better person?
- Oh man. Uhhh....
- Kid? Are you letting that girl
trick you into kissing her?
- What? Noooo. Ewwww. Gross.
I don't wanna kiss her. Gross...
- Well, good.
- Uhhh...
Could you just wait outside for like minutes?
- Kid! - Okay, you know what?
Fine! No! You're goin' to jail.
Let's go. Come on.
Feel my shove.
No kisses for you. Tryin' to trick me.
Wearing a romper...
- Almost...almost...
[ oven bell ] - Mmm.
03x08 - Double Date Danger
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After school, Henry becomes Kid Danger: Captain Man's superhero sidekick.
After school, Henry becomes Kid Danger: Captain Man's superhero sidekick.