04x05 - Cry of the Cat

[bunniefuu]

- [ Thunder Rumbling ]
- [ Cat Screeching ]

[ Animal Hooting ]

[ Cat Screeching ]

[ Thunder Rumbling ]

[ Howling Sound ]

[ Howling Continues ]

[ Hinges Creaking ]

- You called for me.
- Are you Dr. Mason?

Yes. I am the pet exorcist.

[ Thunderclaps ]

When did it begin?

About two weeks ago.

Fluffy ran out into the street.

The man driving the garbage truck
didn't see her until it was too late.

She didn't stand a chance.

That night,
we heard a noise in the kitchen.

When we went downstairs,
we found the fridge open...

And a carton of milk
spilled on the floor.

Are you sure it was Fluffy?

She left her footprints
in the milk.

We followed them
to the cupboards, and...

That's when we saw it.

Saw what?

Her favorite bowl.
It was broken in two!

[ Loud Thunderclap ]

That's it.
That was Fluffy's favorite room.

- [ Girl ] Do you want us to come with you?
- No.

It is too dangerous.

I must do this... alone.

Fluffy!

You don't a-scare me, cat!

I am stronger than you!

The forces of good... will win!

No. No!

[ Screaming ]

What are you doing?

I gotta see if he's okay.

Be careful.

I don't hear anything.

It's over.

It's really over.

- [ Growling ]
- [ Screaming ]

- No!
- Help me!

Help me! Help me!

[ Gasping ]

- [ Electricity Powering Down ]
- Larry!

Cut!
Cut, cut, cut, cut, cut! Cut!

We're going again.

Banacek, I thought you told me
you had those things fixed.

I'm sorry, Larry.
We're doing the best we can.

We just don't have enough time.
Sound needs another one, Larry.

Hey, get this thing off me,
okay?

Hey, Larry. Guess what!

I'm calling my agent.

- Did I hear "cut"?
- Yeah, for, like, the tenth time.

Doesn't anybody understand
what I'm trying to say with this film?

Doesn't anybody appreciate me?

[ Sighs ]

Nobody understands me but you.

That's lunch!
Take it apart, people.

Now listen, honey.
Can I get you something?

You want a cup of ginseng tea,
a low-fat fiber bar, hmm?

Yeah, you can get me something,
Marta.

You're my agent. You can get me out
of this dumb horror movie.

Allie, Cry of the Cat is one of the
most successful books ever written.

This is going to
make you a huge star.

Good! Then maybe I can get a real
dressing room instead of this shoe box.

Well, honey, maybe if you cleared out
some of your mouse collection,

you'd have a bit more room.

Whatever! I'm gonna go for a ride
and try to learn my lines.

I'll be back after lunch.

Maybe.

- Good afternoon, Miss Rogers.
- Hi!

Hey, Allison.
How's it goin'?

So what if the cat really is evil?

What if it wants to hurt
my mother and father?

How can I stop it?
How can I--

How can I--
[ Groans ]

How can I keep forgetting that line?

- [ Cat Screeches ]
- No! [ Gasps ]

[ Grunts, Groans ]

Oh.
Can anything else go wrong today?

Oh. Oh, no!

[ Wind Chimes Jingling ]

[ Hinges Creaking ]

Hello?

Anybody home?

Hello?

[ Squeaking Sound ]

- [ Gasps ]
- Who are you?

Allison. Allison Rogers.

- You've probably seen me on TV.
- No. We don't have a TV.

Mom says they lie.

- I'm Crystal.
- Hi.

Uh, listen,
something awful just happened.

Do you-- I mean,
did you have a brown cat?

At least I think it was a cat.

- Rip?
- If that's his name.

There was an accident.
I think I ran over him.

No, not Rip.

I'm sorry. I know how awful you
must feel, but it was an accident.

He ran right out in front of me.

Mom's not gonna like this.
She's not gonna like this at all.

Well, if you'd like me
to explain to your mother--

You shouldn't have messed with him.
Rip's not like ordinary cats.

What?
What do you mean?

You should go. Go. Right now.

Uh-- [ Chuckles ]
Don't you want to help me find him?

No!
I never want to see that thing again!

Move it around.
You got it?

Allison, darling.
Look at this place.

It's an actual pet graveyard.
We're gonna be sh**ting there tonight.

- Isn't that fabulous?
- Uh, I guess.

How are you anyway, darling?
How was your lunch?

- Well, actually--
- Good, good!

Now, in this scene, the monster cat
is tearing up your house.

He's already gotten to the babysitter,
the babysitter's boyfriend and the pizza guy.

Now, it's up to you to save the day.

You're looking for a w*apon,
anything you can use.

You check here, here, here.

And that's when you find this,
the can of spoiled tuna,

which later you'll use
to poison the evil beast.

Okay? Got it? Great.
You're fabulous. I love you!

- I'm never working with kids again.
- Uh-huh.

[ Woman ] Okay, people.
Lunch is over. Let's get back to work!

[ Chokes, Spits ]

Ohh. Ugh.

Okay.
Who put cat hair in my water?

[ Man ]
Hurry it up with that track over here!

Audition.
No, I'm not auditioning for him.

His last movie didn't make a dime.

- Hey!
- Very funny.

What?

- Hair!
- [ Man ] Mark it off!

- [ Bell Rings ]
- [ Woman ] We're rolling.

Speed.

[ Man ]
Twenty-seven, take three, marker.

- [ Woman ] Cue lightning.
- And... action!

[ Loud Thunderclap ]

[ Panting ]

A w*apon.
I need a w*apon!

- [ Low Meowing ]
- [ Screams ]

Go away!
Why don't you just leave us alone?

The cabinet.
Go for the cabinet.

- [ Growls ]
- [ Screams ]

[ Screams ]

Honey?
Are you all right?

[ Moans ]
Rip. Rip's under there.

- Who's Rip?
- The cat I ran over at lunch.

I was on my bike,
and this cat ran out in front of me.

I thought I hit it, but then
it was gone, and now it's here.

Banacek, did you put that
fake cat in the cupboard?

No, it's right here.
We haven't had time to finish it yet.

- So what's under there?
- Grips!

Grips, let's put
the cupboard back in place.

- Lift it up.
- All right.

But it was right there.
I saw it!

I heard it scream
when the cabinet fell on it!

Allison, darling.

You know I love you
and I love your work,

but, sweetie,
maybe you need a tiny bit of rest.

So why don't you go back
to your cozy dressing room,

take a quick little catnap,

and when you wake up,
we'll sh**t the scene all over again.

Okay, darling? Sweetie?
Sounds good? Fabulous.

Let's go!

Okay, everybody,
we're doing special effects sh*ts.

Banacek, is that cat ready yet?

Five minutes.

- That part really suits you.
- Yeah, I enjoy it.

Uh-huh.

[ Growling, Snarling ]

[ Snarling ]

- [ Gasps ]
- Oh. Hey! Sorry, Al.

Yeah. No problem.

Listen, I heard what happened.
Are you all right?

I think so.

I don't know.
Maybe they're right.

- Maybe I am losing it.
- Come on, Allison. You're a pro.

Listen, if you ever want
to talk or anything,

I can give you the name
of my therapist.

I mean, he is great.
He does all the big stars.

Thanks, Ryan.

[ Gasps ]
No!

[ Ryan ]
What is it?

- Who did this?
- It's Rip.

- Who?
- Rip, the cat.

He wants revenge.

Uh... okay.

Are you sure you're not taking
this movie a little bit too seriously?

It's not a movie, Ryan.
It's really happening.

Right. Sure, ye--
I'm gonna go get Larry.

Why? He won't believe me
any more than you do.

Just leave me alone, all right?
It's my problem. I'll handle it.

- But, Allison--
- Just go away!

[ Sighs ]

[ Sighs ]

Larry, we're almost a half a day behind.
We can't keep waiting for her.

I'm aware of the problem, darling,

and I suppose there's
only one solution.

Call the casting department.

- You want to get another actress?
- No, I don't.

But if Allison can't do it,
I'll find someone who can.

Okay.

[ Sighs ]
What am I going to do?

[ Ripping ]

- [ Growling ]
- [ Screams ]

- [ Gasping ]
- [ Shrieks ]

Because I'm playing the fairy, not you.
Do you understand?

I have to be sure.

[ Screams ]

[ Moaning ]

Hey, Allison. We're ready for you.
You okay to go back to work now?

Yeah. I'm okay.
Let's get to work.

Do it.

Knock 'em dead, kid.

No, no, no, no, no.
This is a 30-foot-tall monster cat.

You think it's gonna be interested
in this minnow?

- I want a bigger fish. Get me a bigger fish!
- Yeah.

[ Sighs ]
Do I have to do everything myself?

- Hi, Larry.
- Allison.

- How are you, darling? How you feeling?
- Excellent.

I took a nap.
It worked, just like you said.

Fabulous.
Now, sweetie, look up there.

That's your bedroom.
That giant cat has you cornered inside,

and there's only
one chance for escape.

You must climb out the window,
shimmy up the storm drain...

And then get yourself up on the roof.

- You think you can do that?
- No problem, Larry.

Would you like
some bread with that?

- [ Gasps ]
- Uh, we'll be ready in a moment, darling.

[ Coughing ]

I'm fine!

Look, you can tell Entertainment Tonight
if they want me,

they have to come and find me.

Love it. Yeah.

I just wanted to apologize for,
you know, what I said before.

I know I was acting kinda weird,
and I want you to know I'm sorry.

Hey, don't worry about it.

I know that we all get
a little weird sometimes.

You know, it's--
It's all part of the business.

- [ Purring ]
- I gotta go,

um, talk with my agent.

Later.
[ Chuckles ]

[ Gasps ]

What's happening to me?

[ Larry ]
Action!

- [ Snarling, Low Growling ]
- [ Gasps ]

- [ Gasps ]
- [ Growling Continues ]

- Cue cat.
- Cue the cat.

Cue cat.

Cut, cut, cut, cut, cut.
Cut!

- [ Man ] Cut it! k*ll the fan.
- [ Sighs ]

- Banacek?
- Five minutes.

[ Bell Rings ]

Wait a minute, sweetie.

We'll get you a ladder,
and you can come down.

Grips, a ladder. Let's go.
We need a ladder!

Allison.
Stay away from the edge, honey.

- What is she doing?
- [ Hisses ]

- Allison?
- [ Marta ] What is she doing?

What is she up to?

Allison.

Allison, stop!