WOMAN: Are you ready?
♪ Ooh ♪
♪ I know you see me
standing here ♪
♪ Do I look good,
my dear? ♪
♪ Do I look good today? ♪
♪ Today, today ♪
♪ Ooh ooh ooh ♪
♪ I'm just another
kind of girl ♪
♪ And you want
to see my world ♪
♪ So come and run away ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah ♪
♪ If you wanna play ♪
♪ Come and play today ♪
♪ Let's just get away, yeah ♪
♪ I will make you see ♪
♪ All of the things ♪
♪ That you can be ♪
♪ Believe in yourself ♪
♪ Come follow me ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah ♪
♪ Yeah ♪
- Hey, is this a dolphin
or a porpoise?
- That's a trash bag.
- Hey, you guys! I did it!
My latest Quinnvention works!
- Uh-oh.
- What, the bra thing?
- Uh-huh!
- What bra thing?
- Well, you know how some older
cars don't have air bags, right?
- Right.
- Okay.
- Well, now a girl
can be safe in any car
whether it has air bags or not.
Watch.
Zoey, yell, "crash."
- Crash!
[beeping]
- Whoa!
- Ho!
All right! That's great!
- Very nice, Quinn. A-plus.
- Or D-plus.
- Thanks! I call it
the bra bag.
How cute is that?
- It's adorable.
- Genius.
ZOEY: So cute.
[horn honking]
What's goin' on?
[horn honking]
- Uh-huh, that's right.
[honks horn]
Yeah, yeah,
you can look, but don't touch.
MICHAEL: Comin' through,
comin' through.
- Move it!
- Hey, guys!
How do ya like the new ride?
- Whose car is that?
- Mine.
- You bought this?
- Yep. Gotta love my dad's
black United Express card.
- Dude, this car had to cost
like 300,000 bucks!
- 327,000.
- For a car?
- Why? You're fifteen!
- You don't even have
a driver's license.
- But I will. And this car's
a special edition.
They may not make it next year,
and I had to have it.
- And, uh, until you can drive,
what are you gonna do with it?
- I'm gonna make out
with girls in it.
- What girl's gonna make out
with you in a car
you can't even drive?
- Me! Me! Me!
I will! I will!
- Excuse me.
- Hey!
That's the great Doheny!
- Yeah. He's a magician.
- Huh! The greatest
magician ever.
What trick is he doin'?
- They tied him up with ropes,
and now he's gonna
try and escape.
- I betcha he does it.
That dude can
escape from anything.
- Well, sure,
because it's fake.
- Fake?
- Still fake.
- How can you say this is fake?
- Because if someone was
really tied up like that,
there's no way
they could get out of it.
- Yeah, you can!
You just need skills.
Skills which I happen
to possess.
- So you're saying
if I tied you up with ropes,
you could get out of it.
- No question.
[audience applauding]
DOHENY: Thank you!
Thank you!
- Hey, you guys ready?
- For what?
- I made a video
of me and my new car.
Check it.
[engine revving]
Okay, there I am.
Ooh, check out my biceps there.
Yeah.
Now my butt's against it.
[knock at door]
Dad! Chauncey!
What are you guys doin' here?
- Excuse me, children.
Please leave this room
so that Mr. Reese
may speak with his son.
- Hey, c'mon,
this is my room, too.
Y'know, suddenly I feel
like standing in the hallway.
Come along, Zoey.
Mr. Reese.
ZOEY: You're giving me
half that money.
- What's goin' on?
- This is the bill for
my United Express credit card.
- So?
- $327,000?
- Oh. I bought a car.
- Without asking me?
- You said I could use
the credit card at PCA
whenever I wanted!
- For books! Food!
Maybe a little entertainment!
- It's a very entertaining car!
- It's going back.
- What? Dad! That's cruel!
- I'm cutting you off.
No money, no checkbook,
no credit cards.
- What? Dad! No!
Chauncey! Please talk to him!
- Let go of my lapels,
or I'll poke you in your neck.
- The credit card.
- But Dad...
- Chauncey?
- What? What? What?
No! No! Wait! No! No!
Ah!
Dad!
- Gentlemen,
take the plasma screen,
the laptop, the stereo,
and all that stuff there.
- No! No! Dad, please!
Why? Why the stereo?
I need the stereo!
I have to listen to music!
Oh, no, please! Put it down!
Dad, please! Please!
Wait a minute. No!
Dad, not the plasma screen!
No! No!
[horn honks]
- Uh! Huh!
- There.
- Nice work.
You got the stopwatch?
- Okay. Now, while you're tied
up, if you need anything:
Food, water, bathroom,
or if you start to feel
any pain, the safe word is--
- Ha! [laughing]
Told ya I got skills.
Don't feel bad now.
- And the popcorn arrives.
- Can't watch a movie
without the corn.
Hit play.
- Hitting.
- We've got to get
to Tanis IV
before the light explodes!
- Set course
to four, vector five!
MICHAEL: This is depressing.
- Shields up, shields up!
- I miss Logan's plasma screen.
- Why couldn't his dad
have taken Logan away
and left all the cool stuff?
- Hey.
- 'Sup, poor boy? [laughs]
- I hate my life.
- Yeah, you've looked better.
- What's wrong with your hair?
- Juanita didn't fluff it,
that's what's wrong with it!
- Juanita?
- The lunch lady.
I used to pay her to blow-dry
and fluff my hair every morning,
which is why it always
looked so awesome.
But now since my evil father
closed my bank account,
I can't pay her to do it
anymore!
- Yeah, life is hard.
- It is now!
- Juanita the lunch lady?
- It explains the hair
in my pudding.
- Eww.
- Sushi?
- Yeah.
- He used to pay Juanita
to blow-dry his hair?
- And fluff it.
- What 15-year-old boy
can't do his own hair?
- I know, it's like he--
shh, shh!
Oh, my God.
[laughing]
- Yeah, go ahead, laugh it up.
- What happened
to your clothes?
- I washed 'em.
I used to use
the PCA laundry service,
but now I can't afford that,
so I had to wash 'em myself.
I don't know,
I guess I did it wrong.
- Ya think?
- It's not funny!
- I'm sorry.
- There. I think
those knots ought to hold you.
- The knots I tied
didn't hold him.
- Baby, we've discussed this--
you're not good with your hands.
Now, if you can
get out of that,
I'll be seriously impressed.
- Time me.
- Go.
ALL: Go! Go! Go!
Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!
Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!
- This is a piece of cake.
[students cheering]
- Dude, it's not that bad.
- That's easy for you to say.
You've never been rich.
You're used to being average.
I'm not!
- Hey, Logan, you wanna
play golf with us tomorrow?
- No. I can't afford balls.
- Wow, I've never seen
Logan that upset.
- It's so sad.
- Yeah, poor guy.
- Oh, my god, we actually
feel bad for Logan Reese.
- Unbelievable.
- Wow.
- That's insane.
[students cheering]
- Yeah!
- You got it!
[cheering]
- I'm gonna get out!
I got it!
You just wait and see!
I'm gonna get out of this!
[cheering]
- Thank you.
- You see?
ALL: Whoa!
[cheering]
- Thanks.
Tell your friends.
- He's letting kids
throw tomatoes at him?
- For a dollar apiece.
- That's horrible.
Can I borrow a dollar?
STUDENTS: Ohh!
- I've never seen anyone
so desperate for money.
- It's 'cause he doesn't know
how to do anything
without money.
He's never had to do
anything for himself.
- Hey, c'mon,
please don't aim for the face.
STUDENTS: Whoo!
- Yeah!
- Okay, we have to help him.
- Why should we help him?
- He wouldn't help us.
- Yeah, but we're good people.
- Yeah, I am a good person.
- Hey, hey, one at a time!
C'mon!
[cheering]
- One, two, three!
[grunting]
[laughing]
I'm out and about!
[applause]
- You cheated.
- How'd I cheat?
- You just smashed the chair!
- Am I out of the ropes,
or am I out of the ropes?
- Did he cheat?
- I feel yes.
- All right, look,
if you still don't believe
I can free myself
from any ropes,
any knots you got,
then let's go again.
Any time.
- Okay. We will go again.
- You know my digits.
[laughing]
- You want I should get
a book on knots?
- No. I have a better idea.
Come with me.
- Oh, look, a rock.
- You have enough rocks!
- Ohh!
- Okay, first you're gonna
wash your whites in hot water,
then your colors in warm water.
- Colors in hot...
- Colors in warm.
- Warm, right.
- Okay, now fill this cup up
to the little mark here
with detergent.
- Which one, safe or best?
- Either, doesn't matter.
- Now what?
- Go listen to music.
I'll do your laundry.
- Right.
- Ugh!
Ugh!
- There.
- All right, now...
hair dryer in your left hand,
brush in your right.
- Got it.
- Cool.
Now just brush and blow.
I'll be back in ten.
- Okay.
- You done?
- Somethin' went wrong.
- Well, how'd you--
you don't--
just let me do it.
- Just put your fingers on the
home keys like I showed you.
- Okay. Now what?
- Now type, "The tiger chased
the bunny into its hole."
- Okay, um...
"T"..."T"...is there a "T"?
- Yes, there's a "T."
why would they make
a keyboard without a "T"?
Look, it's right there
between the "R" and the "Y."
- "R"...
- Just move.
I'll type the paper for you.
- Hurry, okay?
- You're a little late.
- Sorry.
- I thought maybe
you weren't gonna show
'cause you realized I can
escape from any knots you got.
- We'll see. Mark?
Hello, Mr. Billiam.
- It's not "Bill-ee-um".
It is "Billyum."
Two syllables. Thank you.
- Isn't he the lower school
history teacher?
- On weekdays. On weekends,
I'm troop master Kenny.
- He's the wilderness troop's
number one expert
on tying knots.
- Thank you
for recognizing that.
- So, you're pretty good
with the knot-tying, huh?
- Oh, I can tie
over 350 unique knots,
including the everlasting
German pretzel-twist.
- Still feeling confident,
Michael?
- Sit.
- Let's get it on!
[laughing]
- ♪ Seems I been
up all night ♪
♪ I can't sleep ♪
[yawning]
- Knock knock.
- Oh, hey. Whatcha got?
- Logan's laundry.
- I can't believe
I'm transporting
Logan Reese's underpants.
Ugh!
- Yeah, well if you're really
in the mood for fun,
try typing up his
- Why'd he have to buy
that stupid car
and lose all his money?
I liked him so much better
when he was rich and obnoxious.
[sighs]
- Oh, here.
- Whose wallet?
- Logan's.
He left it in his pants.
- Oh.
Well, this is weird.
He's got over 200 bucks
in here.
And his United Express
credit card.
- I thought his dad
took that away.
[groaning]
- Yes. Struggle,
though it will do you no good.
- Let us know when
you're ready to give up.
- Oh, don't you worry about me.
I'll get outta this so fast,
it'll make your mama spin.
- Enjoy.
- Okay.
- Ooh, Michael!
Have you heard the song I wrote?
I can sing it for you.
- No, please!
What did I ever do to you?
- ♪ You can sip it
in the morning ♪
♪ Sip it in the evening ♪
- No! No!
- ♪ Even at a quarter
to three ♪
♪ 'Cause I like sassafras ♪
- Stop! You sound
like an animal!
- ♪ We like sassafras tea! ♪
- No!
- Y'know, it's really wrong
to read another person's email.
- You want me to stop?
- No, read it!
- Okay. Um...
ooh, here's the last e-mail
to Logan from his father.
- What's it say?
- Hurry, read it!
- I'm clicking.
Okay, it says, um...
"Logan, I know the last few days
"without money have been
difficult for you.
"After we talked on the phone
"last night, I decided
you've learned your lesson,
"so I'm going to send your ATM
and credit cards back tomorrow."
- What?
- When did he get that email?
- Over a week ago.
- He's had his money back
for over a week?
And he's been letting me
blow-dry his stupid hair
every day?
- And letting me
do his laundry?
- Do you know how many words
I typed for the guy?
- I am gonna k*ll him!
I am gonna k*ll that boy!
- This does call for revenge.
- What are we gonna do?
We need to do
bad things to him.
- I don't feel good about this.
I've been collecting
these coins since I was five.
- You'll get
your collection back.
We promise.
- I better.
- You will.
- Just do exactly
what we told you,
and don't let--
- Hey, shh, shh!
Oh, c'mon, man. Please?
- Sorry, Chase, I can't do it.
- He said he'd get you
the money in a couple of weeks.
- I thought we were friends.
- This is business.
- What's business?
- Firewire wants to sell
his coin collection...
- And Chase's uncle wants
to buy it...
- But he's in Amsterdam
till the end of the month.
You can have the money
in two weeks.
- What's the big deal
about a box of nerd coins?
- Uh, this is the big deal.
A double eagle gold dollar...
- From 1933.
- So?
- So it's super-rare
and worth like
over 100,000--
- $150,000.
- Yeah, but I'll sell it
for 80,000
'cause my parents need
the money, like now.
- They can wait two weeks.
C'mon.
- You swear your uncle's
gonna give me a check
for 80,000 in two weeks?
- Yep, as soon as
he's back in the states.
- I'll give you 100,000
for it right now.
- What?
- You don't have any money!
- Yeah, don't listen to him.
His daddy cut him off.
- Yep...
and then he cut me back on.
for the coin collection.
I can get a cash advance,
and you can have the money
in an hour.
- You what?
- Don't be grumpy.
This is great news!
- You spend $100,000
of my money
without my permission?
- The coins are worth
at least that.
Probably a lot more.
- What do you know
about coins?
- Sir, I know a great deal
about coins and stamps and such.
- Get the car.
Logan, I will see you
in 90 minutes!
[dial tone]
- Aww, why did I do this?
Hey...hey...
I been out here all night,
and I'm starving.
Are you
gonna finish that corn dog?
- No.
- Really? Can I have it?
- No.
- [splutters]
What would you do that for?
Why? Why?
- Hey, pop.
- Give it to me.
- There's no reason
to be all mad.
- We'll see. Chauncey.
Which one?
- What's it worth?
- Well, that's difficult
to determine, exactly.
I'd say somewhere between
- You see?
What?
- This is a replica.
- It's a fake?
- Yes. Congratulations.
You're a dip-wad.
- Dad, listen, I --
- Give me your credit card.
- But, Dad!
- Now!
Let's go, Chauncey.
- Dip-wad.
- But, Dad!
I can't live without money!
I--I was born to be rich!
Please! I can't be
like other kids!
It's disgusting!
Dad...
[laughing]
- We're gonna send his dad
all the money back, right?
- 'Course we are.
- Yep.
The whole 90,000.
- It's 100,000.
- Shh!
[laughing]
- Quinn! Del Figgalo!
I give up!
[groaning]
Quinn?
Del Figs?
Troop master Kenny?
Aww! This is bad!
Help! I'm in a predicament!
- Boo.
- Oh! [panting]
Listen, Mr. Billiam,
I give. I'm done.
- You'd like me to untie you?
- Yeah. Please.
- First say,
"Troop master Kenny,
"you are the best knot-tyer
in the universe."
- Troop master Kenny,
you are the best knot-tyer
in the universe.
- Thank you.
- Now will you untie me?
- No.
- [stammering]
What? What? What, no!
I just called you the best
knot-tyer in the universe!
Troop master Kenny!
[crying]
WOMAN: ♪ Yeah, yeah, you ♪
♪ Just gotta let it loose ♪
♪ And do what
you choose to do ♪
♪ Don't walk away ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah ♪
♪ If you wanna play ♪
♪ Come and play today ♪
♪ Let's just get away ♪
[ding]
MAN: Mmm.
- You have enough rocks!
03x22 - Logan Gets Cut Off
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Series centers around Zoey Brooks as she enrolls in Pacific Coast Academy, a prestigious Southern California boarding school that previously only allowed boys to attend.
Series centers around Zoey Brooks as she enrolls in Pacific Coast Academy, a prestigious Southern California boarding school that previously only allowed boys to attend.