03x11 - Whatever Happened to Keith Partridge?

[bunniefuu]

♪ Hello, world, hear
the song that we're singin'

♪ Come on, get happy

♪ A whole lot of lovin'
is what we'll be bringin'

♪ We'll make you happy

♪ We had a dream
we'd go travelin' together

♪ And spread a little lovin'
then we'd keep movin' on

♪ Somethin' always happens
whenever we're together

♪ We get a happy feelin'
when we're singin' a song

♪ Travelin' along there's
a song that we're singin'

♪ Come on, get happy

♪ A whole lot of lovin'
is what we'll be bringin'

♪ We'll make you happy

♪ We'll make you happy

♪ We'll make you happy ♪

♪ Is there something
that I can do?

- ♪ Am I losing you?
- ♪ Am I losing you?

♪ Am I losing you?
♪ Am I losing you?

♪ Oh, am I losing you?
♪ Am I losing you, baby?

♪ Is there something
that I can do?

♪ Am I losing you?
♪ Am I losing you?

♪ Oh, am I losing you? ♪

Come on, Mr. Kincaid.
You'll have a great time.

I do not want to go to Captain
Chocolate's Ice Cream Emporium.

I've been there once
before and I had a lousy time.

Well, no wonder. You
ordered the glutton surprise.

Come with us, Reuben.

We promise not to let you
make a pig of yourself again.

Shirley Partridge. Yes?

You were just
wonderful, wonderful.

All of you were
wonderful, just terrific.

I loved your work.
Thank you very much.

I'll handle this, Shirley.

I suppose you'd like
an autographed picture.

Oh, yes, I'd like
that very much.

Yeah, well, you leave your name
and address with the maitre d',

and I'll see that you get one.

Oh, thank you very
much. Thank you.

Plus a fan club application.

A fan... Thank you so
much. You're welcome.

Thank you. That's okay.

What am I thinking about?
My name's Gus Gorney.

Why, that's a terrific name.

And I'm a talent scout for
World International Pictures.

Yeah, well, a lot of
guys go around trying to

pass themselves
off as talent scouts.

Oh, not me, sir, not me.

I have some
identification right here.

Uh-huh. Yeah, but
that's a snapshot.

Oh, yes, yes. You see,
that's me on the right...

Uh-huh... and the man on
my left holding the shoulder...

L.B. Spiegel. Yeah.

The head of World
International Pictures.

Yeah, and my father-in-law.

Well, come on in, Mr... Gorney?

Call me Gus.

Gus! Danny, get Gus a chair.

Hi. Hi, how are you?

This will only take a minute.
Never mind. Love your work.

What can we do
for you, Mr. Gorney?

Oh, you see, we're in
the process of casting

our biggest
production of the year,

and I've been scouring the
country trying to find the key

that will make this
picture a tremendous hit.

And tonight, I think I found
what I've been searching for.

What's that?

Him.

Me? Keith?

I want you in Hollywood
next week for a screen test.

Me?

Keith?

Reuben said he'd be here
with the script, so where is he?

Maybe he had car trouble.
I could call the Auto Club.

Why don't you call
Missing Persons?

Very funny.

Keith, Reuben just
called minutes ago.

Okay, so I just happen
to be a little nervous

about seeing the
script. That's all.

The captain of the
Titanic wasn't this nervous.

Honey, why don't you come in here
and help me with the sandwiches?

It'll take your mind
off that screen test.

Keith, you're really nervous
about this thing, aren't you?

No.

Terrified. Mom, you think
I'll get over the nervousness?

I mean, when I get out
in front of the cameras,

do you think I'll
forget about it?

I doubt it.

Oh.

It's only natural, honey.

You've never done
anything like this before.

It should be a very
exciting experience for you.

That's what the guys said the
first time I took out Bunny Hoffman.

Keith, the screen
test is a very big step.

And if you don't want
to do it, please don't.

No, no, I want to do it.

Well, then try and
relax and enjoy it.

You're right.

Uh, here it is.

Mom, it's here.
Let's see it, Reuben.

Ah, just a minute.

Before I give you the
script, I feel it's my duty,

as your manager,
to say a few words.

Please, I have been your
manager now for three years.

We've worked hard together.

We have met defeats
and victories together.

Sounds like a
Little League coach.

Can I see the script?

In a minute.

And because we have been
together these three years,

I feel it's my duty
to tell you, Keith,

that a screen test does
not a superstar make.

In other words, don't get
your hopes up too high.

Not in other words,
those are the words.

Okay, fine, I promise.
Now can I see the script?

Here it is.

Hitchhike from Death.

Hitchhike from Death?

That explains it. They
want you for your thumb.

Here's the cast of
characters. Which one am I?

You're Vito Gambini.

"Vito Gambini. Young man with
a pretty face and an evil heart."

Perfect casting.

I'm in practically every scene.

This is a very big part, Reuben.

Ah, don't worry.
You've got five days

and one of the best acting
coaches in the business.

I'm afraid to ask who
that coach might be.

You?

Yeah, well, I took several
drama courses in college.

As a matter of fact, I played the
lead in one of their major productions.

What play?

Rumpelstiltskin.

Okay, I made some
copies of the test scene.

Keith, you stand
right over here.

Shirley, you play the part of
Mama Gambini. Stand next to Keith.

And, Laurie, you play the
part of Keith's sister, Rosa.

And, Danny, you play the part
of the hood, who has just told Vito

that his friend Frankie's been
rubbed out. Any questions?

Sounds pretty simple.

Okay, here we go.

Okay, begin with Vito
at the top of the scene.

And action!

Mama... Cut!

What? Ah, it's all wrong!

What do you mean,
"It's all wrong"?

It says right here in
the script, "Mama."

No, no, it's not the
word, it's your attitude.

Keith, this is a terrible
conflict. You're in pain, agony.

You want to go out
and get revenge,

but you know it'll break
your mama's heart.

So, when you say,
"Mama," show me pain.

You got to be kidding.
I got to be kidding.

Reuben, don't you think we
ought to run through it just once?

Shirley, trust me.

That's asking too much.

Okay.

Now, Keith,

I'm going to try what we in
the theater refer to as recall.

Try to think of a time in your life
when you were emotionally upset.

Huh?

I can't think of anything.

He's having a very
happy childhood.

What about the time that Janet
Henderson stood you up for Buzz Clancey?

I think it's working.

Great! All right, now we'll
start from the top again,

and this time, think
about... Buzz. Buzz.

Okay, action.

Mama! I got to get that
guy who sh*t Frankie.

"But, Vito, you know that once
you're in the mob, you'll never get out."

Don't go, Vito.

Mama, give me one good
reason why I shouldn't get him.

Because he's got a
bigger, bigger g*n.

Wait a minute! Hold! Hold!

Where's that line in the script?

It's not in the script.

I was improvising.

You were improvising?

If I improvised
what I'm thinking,

I'd get arrested
for child b*ating.

Danny, Reuben is really trying.

Thank you, Shirley.

And I think we all
should try and cooperate.

Even if he is making
a few mistakes.

Mistakes?

Shirley, if you think I'm making
mistakes, you should correct me.

I can take criticism.

Well, it's just that I
think Keith shouldn't put

such importance on every line,

then the really intense
moments will stand out.

Makes sense.

Yes, Mom has a point.

Why don't we let Mom direct?

Danny!

Shirley, it's all right.

Here. But, Reuben...

I don't mind. I'm man enough

to stand aside
when I'm not wanted.

You're going to read
the part of Mama?

Sure. I can do it.

In Rumpelstiltskin, I
played the princess.

Danny, did you
pack your toothbrush?

We'll only be gone
two days. Danny!

I have it, Mom.

Wait just a moment.

What's this? Donald the dolphin.

We couldn't carry our suitcases
and Donald, so we brought Donald.

Go right back and
get the suitcases.

Donald can look at the
snapshots when we get home.

Mom, have you seen
the script? I can't find it.

Keith!

Are you all right?

I'm fine.

Stop worrying.

Shirley?

Hi, Mrs. Kornegge.

Hi. Oh, Keith, the whole
neighborhood is so proud of you.

Going off to Hollywood
to be a big movie star.

It's only a screen
test, Mrs. Kornegge.

I mean, I may not
even get the part.

With that face, how
could they refuse?

Well, thanks.

Look, I better help Danny
load the bus. See you.

Goodbye. Don't worry!

You're going to have
a wonderful time.

Shirley, never let
him out of your sight.

What? Believe me.

That evil town does
terrible things to people.

I know, I read The
Carpetbaggers.

Keith Partridge.

What about him?

I'm him.

So what?

You don't understand.
My son has a screen test.

Right. Oh, really?

Any trouble, Otis?

This here's Ken Partridge.

Keith.

Claims he's here
for a screen test.

Oh, yeah. We got a
clearance this morning.

Okay, go on in.

Follow the green arrows till
you come to the red arrows.

Follow the signs to soundstage
. They're sh**ting on .

Thanks.

Trying to make actors
out of bus drivers again.

He's been in there almost two
hours. Wonder why it's taking so long.

It's an important test. I guess
they want him to look exactly

as he would in the movie.

Well?

I can't believe it.

Come on, how do I look?

Great, if you're doing
Gidget Joins the Mob.

What happened to your hair?

It's a wig, and I got to tell
you, I feel really ridiculous.

You look so different.

Well, you look...

Authentic, really authentic.

Just the way a baby-faced
gangster should.

I think he's cute.

Mmm. Mom, the mustache. Oh.

We're ready for
you, Mr. Partridge.

Well, I guess this is it.

Hey, you'll do great.

Good luck, honey.

Thanks, Mom. Good luck.

Okay, everybody, this is the
test for Keith Partridge. Places.

You know, even if he doesn't get
the part, I've learned something.

What's that?

My brother has ears.

Nothing. You'd think I'd
have heard something by now.

We just got home yesterday. They haven't
even had time to develop the film yet.

Keith, you're going to have
to relax. This may take a while.

You're right, Mom. I'm going to
have to just try to forget about it.

Why don't you go upstairs
and practice autographs?

Why don't you...
Morning, everybody.

Well?

Is there a k*ller in the house?

Are you saying I got the part?

You got it.

Oh, Reuben! Oh,
honey, that's wonderful!

I can't believe it.

I never knew Keith
had so many clothes.

He'll need all of them. He's going
to be in Hollywood quite a while.

Don't forget to
pack his sunglasses.

What's a star without
his sunglasses?

Okay, let's go over the details
for the surprise party tonight.

I invited all of his
closest friends.

Okay, and what about the cake?

I took care of that, too.

How come you're the one with the
list, and Mom's doing all the work?

Somebody has to
be the organizer.

Mom?

I can't believe it. Do you
realize people are actually

stopping me on the
street for my autograph?

Face it, Keith.

You're the biggest thing
that's happened in this town

since they dedicated
the new gas station.

I ran into Tony at
the Laundromat,

and he asked me what
Raquel Welch was really like.

Wish I knew.

I'll get it.

Hello?

Hi, Reuben.

Right now?

All right. The taco
stand? Yeah, okay, bye.

There's Keith.

Hey, Keith, what's it
like to be a movie star?

Well, I haven't even
made a movie yet.

When do you leave for Hollywood?

Tomorrow.

If you ever need a
leading lady, I'm available.

Thanks, Kitty.

Keith, can I have your
autograph? It's for my mother.

Sure, Cindy. What's
your mother's name?

Cindy. I mean, I'm Cindy Jr.

Thank you. Sure.

Reuben?

Oh, hi, Keith.

Hi.

Well, what is it?

Can I buy you a taco?

No, no thanks.

How about a malt?

Reuben, what is it?
Something's bothering you.

What makes you say that?

With your stomach, you
wouldn't be eating a taco

unless you're trying to take your
mind off something. Now what is it?

It's about the movie.

What about it?

Keith, you lost the part.

You did a good
test. It wasn't that.

They just decided not
to go with an unknown.

Oh.

It happens all the time.

I wanted to tell you alone.
I thought it might be better.

Reuben? Do me a favor, will you?

Don't tell Mom and the
others. I want to do it.

Yeah, well, I thought
maybe you might.

I'll be gone for
the next day or so.

I'll see you when I get back.

You okay?

Yeah, I'm fine.

Keith...

I'm sorry.

So am I.

Thanks a lot, Keith.
Have a good trip.

Hey, Keith, don't forget
what I said, you know,

about the leading
lady stuff, huh?

The big star! GIRL: Boy,
Hollywood's going to be neat.

Keith, I know you're
worried about tomorrow.

Do you want to talk about it?

No, I'm fine.

You know, if you changed
your mind, you don't have to do it.

No, it's nothing like that, Mom.

Honey, I'm sure they
wouldn't have chosen you

unless they had
confidence in your ability.

They must have
seen dozens... Mom.

There's something I've
been wanting to say for hours,

but I haven't had
the guts to say it.

What is it?

I lost the part.

Surprise!

♪ For he's a jolly good fellow

♪ For he's a jolly good fellow

♪ For he's a jolly good fellow

♪ Which nobody can deny

♪ Which nobody can
deny Which nobody can deny

♪ For he's a jolly good fellow

♪ For he's a jolly good fellow

♪ For he's a jolly good fellow

♪ Which nobody can deny ♪

Speech! Speech! Speech!

Well, I suppose I do
have a speech to make.

Boy, do I have a speech to make.

Hey, it's too bad you lost the part,
but it was a great party, anyway.

Goodbye, Keith.
Thanks, Mrs. Partridge.

Good night. We'll see you.

Your autograph still
means a lot to... My mother.

Good night. Good night.

Believe me, Keith,
it's the best thing

that could have ever
happened to you.

Hollywood would have
made a plastic man out of him.

Enjoy your youth.

Good night, Mrs. Kornegge.

Well, was telling them as
hard as you thought it would be?

No. It was harder.

But I think this whole
thing taught me a lesson.

What's that?

I don't know yet, but
there must be a lesson

in there somewhere
from all this suffering.

Keith, we have a
presentation to make.

We figure that if you
had done the film,

you would have been
nominated for an Oscar.

So we decided you
deserve that moment.

Chris, the envelope, please.

The winner of the Partridge
Award for the best performance

by an actor in an extremely
embarrassing situation,

Keith Partridge.

♪ In the eyes of the world

♪ In the eyes of the world

♪ I'm a loser just
wasting my time

♪ I can't make a dime
♪ Can't make a dime

♪ In the eyes of the world

♪ In the eyes of the world

♪ Being born was
my first big mistake

♪ Ooh ♪ I can't get a break

♪ But in the eyes of my
woman, I stand like a hero

♪ A giant, a man
who's as tall as can be

♪ Any fool can see

♪ That she's looking
through the eyes of love

♪ Looking through
the eyes of love

♪ She's looking
through the eyes of love

♪ Looking through
the eyes of love

♪ She's looking
through the eyes of love

♪ When she looks at me

♪ Looking through
the eyes of love

♪ She's looking
through the eyes of love

♪ She's making
me believe someday

♪ Making me believe someday

♪ Someday I'm
going to find a way

♪ Someday I'm
going to find a way

♪ To be the man that she
can see when she looks at me

♪ Looking through
the eyes of love

♪ Through the eyes of love

♪ Looking through
the eyes of love

♪ Looking through
the eyes of love

♪ Looking through
the eyes of love

♪ Looking through
the eyes of love ♪

Okay, I figure the
weekend of the th

would be good for the
San Francisco date.

No.

Why not?

Tracy's birthday. We're
all going to the zoo.

Okay, how about the th?

We're all going
on a camping trip.

How about the th?

Family picnic.

Been planning it for
weeks. Sorry, Reuben.

I would get a singing
family that's well-adjusted.

Why couldn't you have a nice, normal
identity crisis like everybody else?

Hi, Mom, Reuben. Hi, honey.

Hi. Hi, Keith, Laurie.

I got to tell you, it is great to have
things back to normal. Excuse me.

Do you know I only signed
one autograph today?

Hi, Mom. Hi, Reuben.

Keith, I'm glad you're here.

You are? That's a switch.

I've been thinking. Just
'cause you lost out on the movie,

that's no reason to let all
that popularity go to waste.

Mmm-hmm.

I have a feeling Danny has
a moneymaking scheme.

You know Danny has a
moneymaking scheme.

Ta-da!

What do you
think? Brilliant, huh?

Mom, do you mind if I take Danny
outside for a little business b*ating?

Just be home in time for dinner.

Thank you.