Ahoy, Winnie.
Hey, Lou,
what are you
so giddy about?
I'm excited because
I just finished writing
a Lady Louella Calypso novel
that wraps up the epic saga
of Captain Four Hooks perfectly.
I think it's the best
writing I've ever done.
The best writing
I've ever done
is carving "Welcome
to the Pee Palace"
on the wall
of the outhouse.
But, hey, we're
talking about you.
To celebrate, I posted
an online contest for my fans.
And the winner gets
to come here today
and read the book
before my publisher
puts it out.
Don't you self-publish?
Okay. Before I put it out.
Oh. And here he is now.
Oh, my goodness! It's Lady
Louella Calypso in the flesh.
I'm your biggest fan.
Tone it down, Oliver.
You're rowdier than
one of Jay Gatsby's
evening soirees.
Nice to meet you, Oliver.
This is Winnie,
one of my campers.
[gasps]
Cool pirate hook.
Can I borrow it?
There's more stuff
I want to carve
into the outhouse.
Then no one will recognize
I'm cosplaying
as my favorite
character of all time,
Captain Four Hooks.
But you only
have one hook.
Yeah. Airport security
took the other three.
Well, time to get you
to your cabin.
And then you can
dive into the finale
of Four Hooks' epic tale.
Yes! Easy, Oliver.
Even Captain Ahab
wasn't this thirsty.
Argh! Why would
anyone be so into
Lou's stupid books?
Oh, no offense.
I think all books are stupid.
You know, maybe it's time
we finally scheduled
that conference call
with your mom.
I'm not just gonna
sit around reading
when there's
a whole world to explore.
I'm a woman of action.
If reading were
that exciting,
why is it the number one thing
people do to fall asleep?
[chuckles softly]
I am so glad our journeys
are colliding this week.
[all] ♪ Kikiwaka, Kikiwaka ♪
♪ Kikiwaka, Kikiwaka ♪
♪ Kikiwaka, Kikiwaka ♪
Destiny, I just got something
very exciting in the mail.
Your puppet of the month
shipment?
No, they unsubscribed me.
They said I was
too into puppets.
But I got this.
An invitation to the premiere of
Dino Camp Diaries: Part One.
The movie you were in?
That's awesome.
Wow, it's in LA
in two days.
Doesn't give you much time
to lock in a red carpet pose.
Oh, I locked that in
years ago.
Oh. Yeah, that's good.
I can't believe it.
After all my auditions,
I'm finally going
to my first movie premiere.
I'm so happy
for you, Noah.
Also, I know you worked
with Timothée Chalamet.
If you could slip him
my phone number,
I wouldn't be mad at it.
I do have one concern.
Oh, don't worry.
It won't violate
the restraining order
as long as
I'm not there.
No, I'm just not sure
I should be away
from camp that long.
Who's gonna do my work here
when I'm gone?
You mean watching
Jake and Bill?
They'll be fine.
Bill's responsible
and Jake...
Well, he's got Bill.
Actually, there's
some other jobs I do
around this place
just to help out.
Well, whatever they are,
I've got you covered.
Thanks, Destiny.
I'll make a list
and walk you through it.
Oh. And on a personal note,
do you also think
you could give my puppets
their baths when I'm gone?
See, this is why
the puppet people
turned on you.
Guys, guess who's here
visiting camp today.
Ooh, is it Lewis Hamilton,
the famous British F driver?
Or Dame Maggie Smith,
the famous British actor?
-Or...
-No one British is here, Jake.
It's my family dog, Toby.
Come here, Toby.
Aw!
He's so cute.
And clearly British.
I'm taking care of him
while my parents are
away on vacation.
Fun fact.
Toby is actually
their second favorite
child after Priscilla.
So you're third?
Actually, I'm fifth after
a really big house plant
and pet iguana named Rodolfo.
Don't take it personally.
I'm my parents
second favorite, too.
But you're an only child.
I know. I'm also
their first favorite.
I was just trying
to make you feel better.
Thanks, bud.
I gotta go into town
to get some dog food.
Will you guys watch him
for me while I'm gone?
Of course, we're gonna
have so much fun.
Not as much fun
as we would have had
with Lewis or Maggie,
but still a lot.
[imitating British accent]
Right, Guv'nor?
Would you like
some tea and crumpets?
Excuse me, Miss Calypso.
Please, Oliver.
Call me Lady Louella Calypso.
And before you
say anything else,
how far are you
into the book?
Is the prose
a masterful blend
of old school thrills
and cutting edge action?
Ooh. I should put
that quote on the cover.
Actually, I haven't
read a word.
Cool, cool.
I thought about what
Winnie said earlier,
and I'd love to go out
and explore the area
while I'm here.
Ha! In your face, reading.
So what do you
want to do first?
Fire a slingshot?
Jump in the lake?
Fire ourselves out
of a slingshot
into the lake?
It can be arranged.
Actually, I was hoping
to visit an old ghost town
nearby called Muddy Keister.
Hmm. Can't anywhere
around here just be
called Wyoming Ville?
I heard this ghost town
has a fascinating history,
full of twists and turns.
Oh. You know what else
is full of twists and turns?
My novel. [chuckles]
Which is just sitting
in a cabin somewhere,
not being read by anyone.
And I'm totally fine
and handling this well.
[chuckles nervously]
Thanks again for helping out
with this stuff
while I'm
at my premiere.
Of course.
And thank you
in advance
for giving Chalamet
my number while you're there.
He will be mine.
Anyways, let's get started.
First thing in the morning,
I check out
the equipment for safety,
starting with stress testing
the zip line.
Wow, I hope that's not
as dangerous as it sounds.
Oh, it is.
But if there's a problem,
better us than
a camper, right?
[laughs] Yeah, right.
Oh. I mean, yes,
children first.
-Whoo-hoo!
-Hey, Desty,
how's that zip line?
[Destiny] It's great.
This is a blast.
I think this one's
definitely safe.
[screaming]
And this is why we test.
Only three more
zip lines to go.
Whoo-hoo!
And then, throw.
[sighs] Jake, you're
not even paying attention.
Come on, Toby,
let's go herd some sheep.
Oh. Are we saying
super boring things
in a fun voice?
Come on, Toby.
Let's go wait in line
at the DMV.
Actually, Toby
is a herding dog,
so he's happiest
when he's working.
He's the me of dogs.
Toby doesn't want to work.
He's on vacation.
The two of us
are gonna chillax.
Maybe later
we'll go play fetch.
I'm getting really good
at bringing the ball back.
Toby's had
enough chillaxing.
I'm taking him to the pasture.
No, Toby is staying here
with me to chill in the cabin.
No, he's not.
-[Jake] Yes, he is.
-[Bill] You're being ridiculous.
I'm pretty sure
it's pronounced ridonkulous.
Right, Toby?
Toby? He's gone.
Oh, no.
Where'd he go?
If he's off throwing
the ball for someone else,
I'm going to be really hurt.
According to the guide,
this is the old,
abandoned sheriff's office.
Check this place out.
Rusted locks,
old timey handcuffs,
the thr*at of tetanus
wherever you turn,
heaven does exist.
Yes, because standing
in a dirty, possibly
haunted old shack
is much better
than reading a novel
I poured my heart
and soul into.
[chuckles] What
a fun journey this is.
Well, let's mark
the occasion with a photo.
Why don't you two go stand
inside the jail cell?
Aw! Hanging out
inside of a jail cell?
It's like fourth grade
spring break all over again.
Maybe we should do
that conference call
with your mom tomorrow.
Now say...
"I'm a thoughtless hack
who ruined the best
book series of all time."
That's a weird way
to say cheese.
Uh, Oliver,
what are you doing?
The truth is,
I did read your book, Lou.
Twice, and I am not going
to let you k*ll off
Captain Four Hooks.
He's the greatest hero
who ever lived,
and you just tossed him
overboard like...
like a bucket of chum.
Now, wait.
Are you talking about
the character
Bucket of Chum?
-Because he survived...
-I was using
a colorful simile
for dramatic effect.
Wait. So you brought us
all the way out here
just to punish Lou
for k*lling off
a made-up character?
Oh, no. Lou is going
to rewrite the book
and bring Captain Four Hooks
back to life.
And neither of you
are getting out
until she does.
Oliver, I only have
one thing to say to you.
I am so happy
you read my book.
Okay, let's get to
the next item on my list.
Please don't tell me
we're cleaning up toxic waste.
Of course not.
That's too dangerous.
We're relocating hornets.
Was there no toxic waste?
See, there's this really
stubborn hornet's nest
that I move out
of here every day
to make sure the campers
don't get stung.
And what, pray tell,
is the reason
we don't just
light them on fire
and cackle with delight?
Because hornets are
a very important part
of the ecosystem.
Okay, I'm an environmentalist,
and I'm going to say nuh-uh!
While you're moving the nest to
a tree in the woods,
I'll track down the fire ant
colony that
Lucent moved in here.
Here, anty-anty.
[screaming]
One got into my mask!
One got into my mask!
Don't swat at it.
You might hurt it.
That's the plan, Noah!
[screaming]
Oh. Thank goodness.
It's gone.
But now something's biting me.
Something's biting me.
[screams]
[chuckles] Oh,
you found the ants.
Hey, little buddies.
I was looking for you.
I looked all over camp,
but I can't find
Toby anywhere.
Well, he's definitely not
in the walk-in freezer.
Why would he be
in the freezer?
Dogs like licking things
and ice pops are
the best things to lick.
Ergo, he should have
been in the freezer.
It's like you
don't know Toby at all.
Hello! Parky's back
with some yum yum foodie
for the most special
little brother in the...
I mean, come here, dog,
or don't. [scoffs] Who cares?
Toby's not here
because he's, uh, hiding.
We... we taught him how
to play hide and seek.
Right, Bill?
We sure did.
It's a popular game
for players
of all species,
including dogs.
Fun for everyone
except you.
You can't play.
You should go
far away from here.
Bye-bye now.
Okay then. Just bring Toby
back to me when you're done.
I'll leave these little
yum yum foodies right here.
[laughs]
What? I'm owning it.
We have to find Toby
before Parker
finds out we lost him.
I know. We can put out
a trail of treats
that leads back
to our cabin for Toby.
-Ergo...
-No more ergo!
We don't have
time for ergo.
Don't worry, Four Hooks.
We'll save you
from that big dumb death
the mean writer
lady gave you.
Not gonna lie.
I don't love that
he's talking to his hook.
Hey, Lou, I couldn't help
but notice you haven't
written anything yet.
We're still stuck
inside of a prison
in the middle of nowhere.
Just an observation.
Ah! I'm not gonna
rewrite the book.
I'm sorry. What?
Yeah. I'm the author.
So I decide
how the story ends.
And I put a lot of thought
into how to bring my series
to the perfect conclusion.
Also writing is hard.
Come on, Lou.
What's the big deal?
Just give the kid
what he wants.
Hey, fandom
is a slippery slope.
First, they forced
the movie studios
to change the teeth
on that blue hedgehog thing
and now any yahoo
off the streets
thinks that they can just
lock up their favorite author.
It's fine. You take
all the time you need
to come to your senses.
Well, I'm off to use
the little boy's room.
Oh, better leave
this hook here.
I've made that mistake before.
Lou, if you're not gonna
change your book, then I will.
Please. How are you
gonna rewrite the final book
in a ten novel saga
you haven't even read?
How hard can it be?
I'll just read your manuscript
and replace the word
dead with life.
Because that's how it works.
[Bill] Toby!
[Jake] Toby!
-Toby!
-Where are you?
Oh, Jake, look!
The trail of treats
leading to
our cabin is gone.
Toby must have eaten them.
My plan worked.
I'm a genius.
You're wearing
two different shoes,
and one of them
is a baguette.
Still, let's go
check it out.
[growling]
Bill, I don't think
that's Toby.
I guess wolves must
like dog treats too.
Jake, how fast can you
move in that bread shoe?
Pretty fast
as butter.
Hey, guys.
Where's Toby?
No. First,
what's with the shoe?
No. First, where's Toby?
-[wolf whining]
-Oh, never mind.
I can hear him in there.
-Parker, no!
-Parker, don't!
Oh, there's
my good boy.
[wolf growling]
Oh! Not my good boy!
Not my good boy!
Oh!
[groaning]
What happened
to my good boy?
Uh, he's right here.
Jake, Bill,
where is Toby?
We lost him.
What?
You lost him?
This is ridonkulous.
Yes. What an appropriate
word for the situation.
I have to go find him.
Even though it would
make perfect sense,
he's not in the freezer.
Okay. Just finished
the next task.
Warming the swim
towels in the dryer
so the campers
are nice and toasty
after a dip in the lake.
But I might have shrunk them.
It's a hot day.
They'll be fine.
You don't have to do
my jobs anymore.
I'm not going to the premiere.
Look, I know I've
had a rough start,
but I promise
I can cover for you.
I have hornet venom
coursing through
my veins right now.
I'm basically a superhero.
That's not it.
I just got a call
from the producer.
-The premiere's cancelled.
-What? Why?
Apparently
all the funds for it
were used to fix the movie's
mustache continuity.
Is that another
weird acting term?
I don't know.
You have to ask Timothee
"Peach Fuzz" Chalamet.
"As Captain Four Hook,
scared of the ocean,
and said
with his final breath,
'Frankly, my dear,
I don't give a clam.'"
Damn.
Lou, this book
is amazing.
Wait. So,
Miss I'm Not A Reader
actually enjoyed reading.
Are you kidding?
The way Captain Four Hooks
is brought down
by his own four hooks,
the hooks are
his biggest strength
and his greatest weakness.
It's poetry.
And something
I totally did on purpose.
Lou, you were right.
You can't give
into Oliver's demands.
This book is perfect.
Then I think I know
a way out of here.
Hey, Oliver!
Oliver!
Okay. News that will
surprise no one.
The public restrooms
in Muddy Keister
are disgusting.
Moving past that.
Guess who
finished her rewrite?
I think you're going to love
the changes I made.
I knew you'd come around.
Smell that, kids?
That's the stink of victory
and also a little bit
of the public restroom.
Give me the laptop.
So you can take it
and leave us locked in here?
No way.
Open the cell and I'll
give you the laptop.
Fine.
Put that on the ground
and back up against the wall.
We'll make a break for it
on the count of three.
One, two...
No!
Why did I have
to count?
Despite the heavy
foreshadowing,
I did not see
this twist coming.
We are never
getting out of here.
This is all your fault
for getting us locked up
in the middle of a ghost town.
No, it's your fault
for not changing the book
that I forced you to rewrite
against your will.
Okay, now that I'm
saying it out loud,
I am hearing it.
Hey, it's Parker's dog, Toby.
What are you doing here?
She asked, remembering
dogs can't talk.
Lou, the pirate hook
on the chair.
If we can get Toby
to bring it over here,
we can use it
to pick the lock.
Winnie, you're so smart.
I know.
I'm a reader now.
Hey, Toby,
will you get us
that pirate hook?
Yes, it's a smart boy.
That's a...
duster.
Argh! Jeez, Toby,
read a book.
Everything
but the hook.
Who trained this dog?
Parker.
Ah! Well, he's actually
doing pretty good then.
Yes. Way to go, Toby!
You're good.
Yeah, with the help of a dog
who appeared out of nowhere.
It's kind of an unearned
resolution, if you ask me.
[both] Can it, Oliver.
Come on. Come on, Toby.
Toby, come on.
-Parker, great news.
-You found Toby?
No, but I called my mom,
said I'm still their favorite.
Okay. Maybe great news
was overselling it.
He's clearly not here,
so I'm going
to look in the woods.
Parker, we're so sorry
we lost your dog.
We kind of got distracted
fighting over what to do with
Toby and he ran off.
But we thought
we could find him
before you found out
what happened.
Instead, you lied to me
and lured a wolf
into your cabin.
And now, I'm really worried
about who I'm gonna become
with the full moon tonight.
We messed up.
We're really sorry.
We'll come help you
look for him.
No, it's okay.
You should stay here
in case he comes home.
Besides, the woods
can be dangerous.
And it's my job
to keep you safe.
-[dog barks]
-Spare me, wolf!
Take the children!
Toby!
You're okay.
Thank goodness.
Where'd you find him?
Oh. It was a classic case
of dog rescues girl
and girl's camp director
after they were locked
in a jail cell by an obsessive
nine-year-old.
Tale as old as time.
Come on, Toby.
I'm gonna
make it up to you
by taking you out to the pasture
for some herding.
No way. He's coming
with me for a combo
snuggle snack session.
Actually, I hate to pull rank,
but he's my dog
and I want to play
fetch with him.
-No, that's not fair.
-No!
I haven't seen him all day.
[overlapping chatter]
Wait!
Where did Toby go?
Ah, I see how
this happened now.
Conflict does make
him uncomfortable.
All right, kid.
Since you love stories so much,
time to tell your parents
the one about the boy
who held two
innocent people...
hostage.
Do not let
the hamburger phone
undercut the seriousness
of this moment.
I'm sorry, guys.
It's just, I grew up
with Captain Four Hooks.
He means the world to me.
Look, Oliver, I get it.
When I read Lou's book,
she made me fall in love
with Captain Four Hooks, too.
His bravery, his heart,
the way he picked
his nose ever so carefully.
Such a great character detail.
The way Lou brought him
to life on the page made it
the best book
I've ever read.
Isn't it the only book
you've ever read?
It still counts. Take the W.
But even though
I loved Captain Four Hooks,
I also loved the way
Lou ended his story.
But why does
his story have to end?
Well, Oliver,
just because a story ends
doesn't mean it's over.
It lives on
in your imagination.
And finishing one story
leaves room to create
new ones to fall in love with.
Does this mean
you still have more
stories left to tell?
Well, I've been trying
to think of an idea
for a new book to write
and today's adventure
really inspired me to write
a series about the Old West.
Heck, I might even put a
character in it named Oliver.
Really? Thanks, Lou.
I'm gonna go blog about this.
That's big of you, Lou.
I'm still really mad
he locked us in that cell.
Oh. Me, too.
I'm k*lling his
character off
on page one.
"Put me on."
Well, I am always game
for a wardrobe change.
[fanfare]
There he is.
Movie star, Noah Lambert!
[all cheering]
Welcome to your big premiere.
-Premiere?
-Yeah. Since yours got canceled,
we decided to
throw you one at camp.
Go walk your red carpet.
A real red carpet.
This is incredible.
[all cheering]
Noah, over here!
Noah Lambert,
people are dying to know
were you scared
acting against a dinosaur?
Well, actually, it was just
a tennis ball on a stick.
But yes.
Mr. Lambert, I'm a huge fan.
Can you sign this?
Make it out to Parker
and Toby.
He's a huge fan-bert.
Oh, actually, my fans
are called Lambros,
or they will be
when I get them.
You want an autograph?
Okay, you get it.
Right this way.
The screening of Dino Camp
Diaries: Part One
is about to begin.
Screening?
How? Who did all this?
She did.
Thank you
for coming, everyone.
And thank you to the man
of the evening, Noah Lambert.
This is his premiere,
one of many he'll be
attending in the future.
-[barks]
-Really?
I think she
speaks eloquently.
Noah, you do so many
amazing things for this camp
behind the scenes,
you deserve your
moment in the spotlight.
And now Dino Camp
Diaries: Part One.
[all cheering]
This is all amazing.
Thank you. How did you
get a copy of the movie?
It was easy.
I reached out to the producer
and he sent me
a copy of the film.
I just had to give back
the lock
of Mr. Chalamet's hair,
which I was fine with
because that cloning company
turned out to be a fraud.
I'm really glad you're
on my team, Destiny,
because you scare me.
[all cheering]
[theme music playing]
06x28 - Writer's Locked
Watch/Buy Amazon Merchandise
"Bunk'd" is a "Jessie" spin-off revolving around Emma, Ravi, and Zuri Ross at a rustic summer camp in Maine, where their parents met as teens. Along with their new friends, the trio tries their best to settle into their exciting new lives at Camp Kikiwaka.
"Bunk'd" is a "Jessie" spin-off revolving around Emma, Ravi, and Zuri Ross at a rustic summer camp in Maine, where their parents met as teens. Along with their new friends, the trio tries their best to settle into their exciting new lives at Camp Kikiwaka.