01x07 - Jerks

[bunniefuu]

Atari and intellivision PlayStation

Dreamcast and Gameboy but no Pokemon

it's only about 600 thousand megabytes

dear God No Wow

everything's okay here how are things on

your end great

on my computer screen the best

but anyway

Gympie did you crash your room again

please

damage report mom coming out tonight to

buy a pizza rolls

hmm 30 plugs going into one socket

broken windows severe water damage and

move please and an illegal hot play

student let me make myself clear

if you do not clean up this room

disconnect your machines of mass

destruction and get rid of that hot

plate you will be relocated to Walden

Pond Hall the one with only one outlet

per floor you have 12 hours oh and by

the way I had a little chat with the

dorm electrician your cutoff for the

night good evening student gather our

men she has gone too far

you'd be what I was just calling to tell

you I can't talk to you somehow my heart

will go on I'm on my way out oh really

I've got a date with Kimmy at the

library you mean you're gonna sit in the

library and hope she walked by she'll be

here any minute

well this is college things are

different now she'll be here any minute

open up break it up you two

I just worked out I got a pickup show I

showered

excuse me for a minute honey

yeah hey Rocco we all thought it might

be a good idea for you to go away for

the weekend

what said don't come back till Sunday

night it's usually bigger

oh hey Kimmy what are the odds that we'd

run into each other have you ever been

to England not today because I'm going

can you believe it because I can't for a

whole semester that's great I got chosen

at the last minute to do a classic

theater study program in London I leave

Sunday so I have to spend the next

couple of days brushing up on my English

is that funny because I already speak

English London huh a whole semester

don't even know what I'm doing at the

library

I should be shopping I need movement

clothes rehearsal shoes a travel clock I

have a travel class you do not I do you

can borrow it really that's great what

kind a really cool one with time zones

at 25 different alarms a map of the

world and it's lemon-scented lying putz

perfect can I get it from you tomorrow

sure I can one of me for coffee coffee

relaxes me you can give me the clock

then Starbucks at 3 o'clock oh my god

I'm late for is it something I have a

date my friends what do we want why do

we want that

and who stands in our way right so what

can we go Kippy

do you have a travel clock with time

zones 25 different alarms a map of the

world

I suppose you needed to be lemon-scented

- yeah and I need it tomorrow

well can you search the web buddy I'm

trying to stage a revolution now if you

had to get an RA out of the way how

would you do it he or she she yeah

these last three days have been amazing

but I don't think you pay attention to

my needs

oh okay lady wait don't you want to try

to fight for what we have hey Beth Romy

what's up hey Cal how about Cal of

course send him posthaste

Cal go to get B's for the weekend okay

guy gentlemen return to your pots we are

bringing in a special operative

Wow this is perfect I'm gonna get the

clock I'm gonna have a date nothing

could possibly go wrong

hey knits and stay with you this weekend

down here he's a gimpy good hate that

guy but I love p*rn

mmm I could look at this stuff for hours

so where's the chicks and booze so

that's when I said to this Irish cover

anyone can fake a police badge right a

cr*ck ow

listen I have kind of this big date with

Kimmy tomorrow and there's a lot I need

to do before how long are you here till

Sunday that reminds me don't trust the

Irish the Irish okay well it's getting

late yes we're gonna hit the parties any

parties

now how about bars no blended chick

things tonight like one of those take

off your nightie rollies you mean to

take back the night rally Rock oh yeah

tons of freakin chicks there I don't

know

well what were you gonna do tonight

search the web for a travel clock and

drink beer right no whoa whoa whoa it's

Friday night you're not drinking haven't

I taught you anything

Nitz remember this one thing

Rotterdam is

that's it I'm taking you out on the town

we're getting drunk I don't drink

you always say that I always don't drink

look Rocco can you just stop for a

minute listen I've got this thing with

Kimmy tomorrow who I can barely talk to

without falling over and I got to get

her this clock so she knows that I like

her and I know what you mean man

it's tough when you have feelings for a

girl you want to buy nice things to show

her that you care but at the same time

doesn't feel like enough yeah exactly

I feel that way all the time there's

only one way to reconcile those feelings

how's that buddy beer taxi

kaby tickets to the bars you better not

be Irish hey I was with this girl and

she all left me so I saw like I'm sad

but then you call this now I'm happy and

I brought you a generic corn chips and

stamps great great cow we're gonna have

a lot of fun lots of tons of fun I ever

do one little thing just have to send

this mp3 of Woodstock 69 94 and 99 to 1

million of my closest friends you're

going down for this one

Lita cow cow Rita my RA hey lady you

look tired

how about I buy you a caffeine free soda

and you can just tell me about your day

and you are I know it's tough to be an

RA because that's what it says in the

handbook but I know I'm up to the

challenge you want to be an RA yeah I'm

an RA I T RA in training I love helping

people

let the mayhem begin

well fine tell me I gotta pay for my

fear I'm an American

my father fought in some Wars so hello

lady have a citizen kiss on me tonight

thing

don't tell anybody but those ladies

lesbionic no man for them let's get a

hooker look Rocco it's 1:00 in the

morning did I mention I have to get up

early so I can swear to god you say claw

one more time

Kimmie needs that clock to go to London

that's why we need hookers right I mean

no can we go home now

let's try one more bar Rocco we tried

seven bars we're like miles away from my

dorm this looks like your campus

couldn't be don't come back till Sunday

walk I stand corrected

let's just take the college bus back

home it's free okay go home then hooker

no hooker Irish well lease cows at gimpy

so we both have beds no one then what

this is the best night I've had in a

long time I don't have any friends at my

school I miss you and the guys you're

like brothers

oh thanks Rocco show up sleep now sleep

now worry tomorrow

two o'clock meeting Kimi at three

o'clock to give her a clock your

attention to detail is exceptional Bravo

we are truly living the dream my copy of

Christmas and the Stars the classic r2d2

c-3po Christmas album ruined

gimme gimme gimme gimme

situation under control I sent one of my

men to deliver it he should be there in

four seconds what are you talking about

hi bring you a package from Jeep I'm use

it well in our fight against the power

rock oh I have to get ready to go out

you can just hang here and sleep yes

sleep

what the hell are you doing do you know

what you just did I smashed her clock

breakfast ah this was my whole excuse to

have coffee with Kimmy and you smashed

it

so no breakfast Rocco go away don't come

back well fine

idols aw crap

I don't have your clock what clock

because Rocco is an idiot

well it doesn't matter cuz thoughtless

stupid mean look knits

I'm not going to learn sexist and r*cist

in a sloppy drunk payments nota comes

down to Rocco's a rotten friend just a

rotten friend he's standing right behind

me isn't he I look Rocco well Kimmy I'm

sorry you had to see that I think I'd

better leave

but but Kimmy your clock that crap look

I hate to complain cuddle a word

projectile from someone's robot wars

fatally damage my toothpick Lonnie and

Falcon who is responsible

hey room 302 get those hamsters head of

that liquid nitrogen and no three ladies

not cloning that sheep the very laws of

nature being shattered room 311

ah

you can't burn this all up k*lled us all

you can't do this there have to be rules

regulus Oh God what if I become hey cow

it's time for you to go home we need our

RA back wow it is getting late you're

not going anywhere Babu don't you see

don't you see it's anarchy tell you we

need rules to support girls anarchy

anarchy looks like somebody's turned to

the dark side gentlemen hey Rocco look I

forget it nits I get kicked out of my

frat bars busses bars strip clubs r*fle

ranges bars I should have known that

you'd kick me out too Rocco I was a jerk

mom I'm a jerk

well yeah we both are I guess that's why

we're friends I guess so

you want to come back in sure I've to

why that's where we're the pizzas to you

got 25 bucks I can borrow gimpy knee and

rock over here what's wrong let's go

right like I'm gonna miss my pizza to

hang out with a bunch of nerds and cow

you know Rocco you're being a jerk right

now

well vaguely aware sure ordered 300 meat

peaches we did listen buddy drive us to

take her syntek and I'll pay double for

the pizzas are you guys serial K*llers

hey no just checking

oh thank yo de you're here you've got to

help me get Cal thrown out of here it

just so happens we have the number one

expert on getting thrown out Rocco my

pleasure

should I get that lady I'll get it my

Bobo leash

hi I'm Rocco Cal's best buddy hey come

on in guys

hey you mind if I call a couple of my

buddies this would be a great place for

a barbecue take your top off

hey lady that's my best buddy Rocco you

can't be mean to him and nice to me

we're a pair like a glass and milk

whoa so if he goes I go and don't never

set foot in this dorm again either of

you call me duck-and-cover freaks and

gates rings back we should do this more

often I think we all learned something

today I learned that your friend is your

friend even if you don't see eye to eye

on everything I learned that this order

leads to chaos and clone sheep have

nasty tempers I learn stuff and I

learned ah kitty

the old habits die hard Kimmy I'm so

glad I look I'm sorry that you had to

see me be such a jerk just before you

leave

I'm not going my folks didn't have the

money and my scholarship doesn't cover

it I'm sorry that's what I was trying to

tell you earlier my life is a train

wreck and I think these pants make me

look fat how are things with you and

Rocco fine he's a good guy

well that's that yes no I mean yes he's

a good guy

no you don't look you look good what is

not until Sunday I'll k*ll you all in

your sleep you hear me I'll k*ll you all

hello ladies can I offer you some sex in

exchange for sex