05x17 - Episode 17

[bunniefuu]

[narrator]
This week, there's been five bombshells...

Cheers, b*tches.

[narrator] ...and a shock departure.

I have decided to leave here single.

[narrator] Tonight, it's time

to turn things upside down.

[whooping]

And look at the world in a new way.

The more you f*ck around,
the more you gonna find out.

I wasn't expecting this.

[narrator]
In fact, everything on this show...

Please let today be a good day.

[narrator] ...comes right out of left field.

My whole wig just hit the floor.

They definitely gonna put that on TV.

[narrator] If it's uncut...

That's a man right there!

[narrator] ...unfiltered...

It's full of my farts.

[narrator] ...and totally unbelievable...

[Marco] Every other Islander's farts.

Oh, my God. I'm gonna sh*t myself.

[narrator]
...it must be Love Island USA: Unseen Bits.

Would you put a price on it? I wouldn't.

[theme song playing]

-Go.
-Here we go!

-Let me out of here.
-Oh, my gosh. We can't go anywhere.

[echoing] Get me out of this island!

[echoing] Get me out of this island!

[Kassy, echoing]
Get me out of this island!

[narrator]
Uh-oh. Houston, we have a problem.

They've found out about the glitch.

I'll alert the guards.

You enjoy some generic filler sh*ts
and Euro-trance.

Welcome to Love Island USA: Unseen Bits.

What happens when the characters

in a video game realize
that they're in a video game?

Kassy, it's the glitch.

Let us out. Let us out.

Can y'all see us?

-They can't see us.
-They don't see us.

This is all fake, a hologram.

-Darn it. We can't go past this point.
-I feel like I'm doing a Lil' Kim.

Let me out.

We can't get out.

Oh, my God.

Well, I guess we're trapped.

[narrator] We insist on using cheap
programmers so we can buy more beer,

so it is a bit buggy.

Let's see the first discovery
of a glitch in the villa matrix.

Rewind.

Bargain basement Kassy 2000
was the first robot to go on the blink.

We're freaking Sims characters.

We're all simulations.

Kassy's just broke first.

-Her code just got a virus before ours.
-[Kay Kay] Yeah.

See, I've been doing my factory reset.

That whole scream session in the bathroom?

-The factory re...
-Factory reset.

Kay Kay, can we talk? Can we talk?

[Carmen] Can I pull you for a chat?

Can I... Can I... Can I pull you for a chat?

Stepping toes, stepping toes,
stepping toes.

Kay Kay, do you hate me?
Kay Kay, do you hate me?

-Oh, sh*t! I'm sorry!
-Oh, f*ck!

I'm so glad my wig is on.

[narrator] With the robots malfunctioning,

they've also all started

to have an awareness
about the glitch on the beach.

This is all fake. It's a wall right here.

[Destiny]
Ain't that something? We didn't even know.

It's a simulation for real.

[Kassy] It is. I'm...

gl... gl...

I'm gl... I'm gl...

I'm glitch... I'm glitching.

[Destiny] No, look, powering down.

[narrator] We're used
to bits being unseen.

But this week,
a brand-new Islander was unseen.

In this exclusive,
we can reveal the moment

the villa got a surprise visit
from a smoking hot new bird.

Yes, a literal bird.

Her name is Robin.

Hey, Robin. That beak's looking luscious.

[imitating bird]
"Yeah, I've had some work done."

[normal voice] What's your type on paper?

[imitating bird]
"He's gotta have nice plumage

and be good at collecting twigs."

[normal voice] And how long
do you think we can get away

with doing this talking bird joke?

[imitating bird] "I think
it's already overstayed its welcome.

I've got it.

Give my footage
over to the professionals."

I want drama."

And I want Iain to say..."

[normal voice] Tonight,

a new bird enters the villa

and ruffles feathers.

Plus, one massive dumping.

And on top of that,

not one, not two,

but three human bombshells
enter the villa.

-Hi, b*tches!
-[cheering]

[narrator] Ah, normal service resumed.

[narrator] Fiji, idyllic island of dreams.

Villa, idyllic compound of AstroTurf,

where, just like the plastic flowers,

love is always in bloom.

Chilled champagne...

Well, sparkling wine.

Our Islanders were anxious
to date the new bombshells.

Magic was in the air.

Yeah, I'm ready. I'm just nervous.

I keep farting.

[narrator] Admittedly, other things
were also in the air.

[farts] Oh, my God. I'm gonna sh*t myself.

[narrator] Relax and let unseen
"first dates" moments waft over you.

Oh, no.

Welcome. Welcome.

Go back.

Do you forget which finger you...
Or which hand you hold?

'Cause I go like this three times
before I cut something.

Left fork.

But I'm ambidextrous.

-Oh, really?
-I'm one up on you.

I'm primarily left-handed,

-but I had to learn to do right.
-[Harrison] Cool.

-My house is very quiet.
-Yeah.

I wake up, I hear my rooster.

So cool you have a rooster.

His name's Rico Suave.

Good name.

-Good name for a rooster.
-Ah.

You have a favorite type of food?

Um.

Gosh, I like pizza.

-Like, all the unhealthy stuff.
-Oh, yeah?

-Yeah. I do not eat healthy.
-Yeah.

-I love pizza as well.
-What's your favorite topping?

I like the pepperoni, sausage and olives.

-Black olives.
-I don't like pepperoni.

I can't really see.

Well, I saw that.

I love... I love, love, love animals.

I say when I'm retired, I'm going to
just have a ranch full of animals.

When I was growing up,
my mom always said that I was...

I never used to let a stray animal go.

I even caught a turkey one time.

Like...

I covered... I had to use a blanket
that was in my car.

Covered his eyes and I picked him up

and I took him to the turkey rescue.

Hey, I know how to catch a turkey, though.

Was he a turkey or a rooster?

Actually, now that I think about it,
he was a turkey or...

Oh, no.

-I think...
-So, there was a bird.

There was a bird.

A big bird.

[narrator] Sorry, I just tuned out
for a moment.

Did she just say she dated Big Bird?

[snorts] Name dropper.

[theme song playing]

The hard-hitting news team
who almost got canceled

by a humping scandal are back,

with host Hannah
on the wooden spoon microphone

and Anna behind the camera.

They're lifting the lid on the villa.

Strap yourselves in.

This is Love Island Live!

Hello, everyone.

We're back for another episode
of Love Island Live!

with your girl Hannah and...

Show yourself...

Anna!

So, we here with our girl Emily.

-Hi! Hello, hello!
-Come on.

Get in here close. Okay. So this is Emily.

-Hi!
-The Houston hottie.

-Houston bad bitch.
-With the body.

How you feeling to be here?

I'm feeling real great.

The boys are pretty scrumptious,
the girls are really nice,

-and I'm excited to find my man.
-There you go. Okay.

So, now let's get to the good stuff.
The juicy stuff.

-[Anna] Who's your favorite?
-No.

So, what is your biggest turnoff in a guy?

If your breath stinks

and you have just bad hygiene
in the mouth region, especially.

Like, if your sh*t stinks, I can't.

-There you go. Thank you, Emily.
-Thank you so much.

Let's go check in with the other boys.
Come on, Anna.

Okay. Break it up.
We're doing an interview here, people.

-Come here, Kenzo.
-What up?

-All right. We are here with Kenzo.
-What's up?

My México amigo. Guadalajara.

-Mi hermana.
-Hey!

What is a random fun fact about yourself?

I speak three languages.

Trilingual.

-Y'all hear that, ladies?
-English, Spanish, Italian.

Okay. Now, can you say something
in all three languages?

[in Spanish]

[in Italian]

-[in English] We love a trilingual king.
-Whoo!

-Beautiful. Thank you, Kenzo.
-Yeah.

-Come on, Jonah.
-We got an interview time?

Yes. Now, Jonah's very interesting.
He lives on a farm, you guys.

Runs his own farm.

Okay, so my question is,
if you could compare yourself in bed

to a farm animal,

which one would it be?

If I could compare myself
to a farm animal in bed...

Mm-hmm.

...it would have to be...

[bleep]

[narrator] What the bleep did he say?

I guess the only way to find out
is to join me

on the other side of this bleeping break.

[narrator] Welcome back to
Love Island USA: Unseen Bits.

We're smuggling secret scenes
out of the villa

and bringing them direct to you.

And we're not f*cking around.

The more you f*ck around,
the more you gonna find out.

[narrator]
Well, some of us are f*cking around.

By "some of us," I mean "most of us."

Actually, I have to admit
that in Unseen Bits...

If I pull this off, it'll be the sickest
magic trick you've ever seen.

[narrator]
...there's a lot of f*cking around.

The five of spades!

[laughing] Is that your card?

[narrator] Even the kitchen appliances...

Is the oven off?

This sh*t might blow up.

[narrator] ...are f*cking around.

At this rate, that'd be the only
funny thing happening around here.

I say let the stove carry the show now.

[narrator] So let's stop f*cking around,

and get into Unseen Bits.

[narrator] Before the break,
Love Island Live! reporter Hannah

asked Jonah a question no other journalist

had ever been brave
or deviant enough to ask.

[Hannah] If you could compare yourself
in bed to a farm animal,

which one would it be?

If I could compare myself
to a farm animal in bed...

Mm-hmm.

...it would have to be...

[bleep]

[narrator]
The question we love asking here is...

If I could compare myself
to a farm animal in bed...

Mm-hmm.

...it would have to be a bull.

Ooh, a bull.

[narrator] Oh, what a load of bull.

-Okay.
-Yeah.

I gotta thank God for this opportunity.

Shout out to my homies.

Shout out to the homies. Okay.

Save a horse, ride a cowboy,
ladies and gentlemen.

Hey! Thank you, Jonah!

Yay! Okay, that's all for today.

We got to know the new Islanders here
on Love Island Live!

Again, it's your host,
Hannah, with my girl, Anna!

We'll talk to you soon.

That was so f*cking cute, bro.

-A bull?
-I love him.

[narrator] This next naughty unseen bit
is all about sex.

Let's whack it off... On.

Whack on.

The scene. Not whack off.
Anyway, here's the unseen bit.

Hannah and Marco, we're talking
about embarrassing sex stories.

Let me hear your best one.

Mine was... I had a one-night stand
with a guy in Dallas,

and the next morning everything was good.
We took a shower together.

I was on his white bedsheets
and I started my period.

It was soaked through the towel
and on the bed,

and I was like, "Oh, my gosh." I told him.

I thought he was gonna be,
"It's okay, don't worry."

Instead, he was like,
"My comforter! My sheets!"

And I was like...

That was what made it embarrassing.
It was like, he wasn't even supportive.

Yeah. But I was like,
"This is embarrassing."

"I am never coming back here again."

-You never talked to him again, either?
-Hell, no. I didn't even...

-I was like, "Okay, I'm leaving. Bye."
-What a d*ck, though. That's natural.

-Yeah.
-It's embarrassing for him.

My girlfriends were like,
"He shouldn't have been like that."

One time a guy started crying
when I was having sex with him.

-Really?
-Like, after.

More like... Kind of as it was happening.

Why? He was really into it?

He was just... I don't know.
Like, overwhelmed.

Oh, my God. What did you do?

He shed a tear.
I was like, "What is going on?"

-Was it a happy tear? Sad?
-He said it was happy.

I fell asleep one time having sex
and he was a virgin.

It was his first time.

You think he'd want to...

Wait, what position were you guys in
when you fell asleep?

-Missionary, right?
-Yeah. He was on top.

Yeah. That's where I fall asleep, too.

f*ck me.

What's the most rounds
y'all have done in a day?

Oh, not a lot.

Like, three.

-Four, five.
-Four, five.

-Five for me.
-Wow, that's a lot. That's insane.

-Five... it hurts.
-Yeah, you get tired.

I can't do that all the time.

I might do five rounds
when I get out of here. f*ck.

When I was in high school,
me and my boyfriend,

we used to f*ck every single day
after school in my car.

Yeah.

But one night,
we went to the baseball field...

You told me about that.

...at night. And the janitor caught us.

He was knocking on the window.
The window was fogged up as f*ck.

He knocking on the f*cking windows,
and we're like...

And he was like,
"I'ma tell y'all's parents."

-That's so funny.
-That's funny as f*ck.

Harry, what's your embarrassing sex story?

Harry.

This one time we were cooking up food
in the kitchen, right? Had chili.

Yeah. I had chili still on my fingers,
and I had sex after dinner.

-I'd be pissed.
-Yeah.

No good. No, no, no.

So, I want to hear everyone's kinks.

It depends on the girl.
Some girls want to be on top, right?

-What do you want?
-So, it depends.

At the same time, I like to please.

Wow, Jonah! That's a man right there!

If she's super dom...

If she's super dom like that,
I'll let her tie me up.

Jonah, you just got so much hotter.

You really did.

Thank you.

[narrator] Kay Kay suspects
our fellow female Islanders

have no idea how to talk.

Bit rude, if you ask me.

Regardless, she offered
to give the girls a lesson

so they can finally "talk" properly.

[Kay Kay] Everybody who wants a twerk
tutorial, meet me on the balcony.

Class is in session.

[narrator] Oh, "twerk."
That makes more sense, actually.

Ready? Okay!

Feet shoulder-width apart.

And what you're gonna wanna do
is balance your weight

on the balls of your feet, not your heels.

'Cause you're gonna need your heels
for mobility.

That's what's gonna make that ass shake.

If there's one person in here
that needs a twerk lesson, it's me.

You don't have to lean up,
but be able to shift your weight.

-Like you're in heels.
-Yeah. Like you're in heels. Okay?

Next, you're gonna pop a squat. Okay?

Like you're on the toilet.

So, your butt bone,
you're gonna want it up in the air.

-Okay.
-And your core, you're gonna want it down.

So arch.

And what you're gonna wanna do is...

up, down, up, down.

-But don't move your upper body.
-sh*t, Kassy. That thing is moving.

Okay, Kassy. Okay, Kassy.

Okay, Carmen. I need a little more.

I need a little more from you.

Okay. Hannah got it. Hannah got it.

Kay Kay is a great teacher.

She's a trained dancer.
She was dance team captain. Yeah.

So I was just trying to soak up
as much knowledge from her as I can.

Hey! That's my girlfriend right there!

-Don't clench the muscles in your butt.
-Let it jiggle.

'Cause you wanna see that jiggle.
Jiggle, jiggle, jiggle!

Unlock the knees. Let the booty jiggle.

You did it!
Okay. Now we're gonna do it all together.

One, two, three.

[laughing]

Hey, hey, hey, hey!

Okay, Destiny!

Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

Yeah! Yeah! Hey!

So, you're telling me

my twerking ain't better than Kay Kay's?

I think we should have a competition.

Come on. Everybody sit.

May the best twerker win.

-Come on, Anna. Show us what you've got.
-You first.

Anna, let's go. Show us what you've got.
Boom, boom, boom. There we go.

The girls already know
I'm a master at twerking,

so I don't have to prove myself
in a little contest.

There we go, Anna. Shake that butt at me.
Anna, go girl.

Can I really compete with that?

Okay. But Anna has
her own style of twerking,

so I'm not gonna take that away from her.

-Show it to her.
-This is the master!

[girls cheering]

My mic pack is gonna be
moving back and forth

more than my butt.

-There we go, Carmen.
-Okay, Carmen!

My dad's gonna be so concerned
after the twerk lesson.

I'm sorry, Dad. I'm sorry, Mom.

I am proud.

Uh-huh!

[narrator] Not much of a competition

when there is no winner
or any judge of any kind.

[theme song playing]

[narrator] At the recoupling,
the Islanders were rocked

when Anna chose to leave the villa.

So I have decided to leave here single.

[narrator] Here are some unseen bits
of Anna saying her final farewells.

Ah, sh*t!

No hard feelings, though. I love you guys.

I love you guys.

I've had the best time in the villa.
Oh, my...

Everybody do it! Everybody do it!
Everybody do it!

I can't wait to bother everybody
when they get out of here.

You guys are not even upset I'm leaving.

I'm f*cking upset! Don't play with me,
Anna. I'm f*cking upset.

I am feeling like a bad bitch.

Oh, my God.

This is really weird.

Peace out, Love Island.

Oh, God.
Guys, this is not gonna be a sexy walk.

-Go get that phone! Go!
-Go, Anna, go.

It couldn't have been a better time.

[screeches]

[Marco] Go, Anna!

What the f*ck? Ah!

That's pretty much it. Yeah.

[narrator] Hang on. If Anna's gone,
what's gonna happen to Love Island Live?

Breaking news. Following the departure
of Anna from the villa,

Love Island Live! has been canceled.

But for hard-core fans, do not despair.

A "Farewell, Anna" special
has been commissioned.

And that's coming up
after this commercial break.

[narrator] Welcome back to
Love Island USA: Unseen Bits.

Even in slo-mo, this show's
a guaranteed d-floor filler.

Before the break,
we saw the break-ing news

that Love Island Live! has been canceled.

So, it's time for the season finale
of Love Island Live!

Okay. So, it's my last
Love Island Live! show.

-Really? Why the last?
-Because Anna's not with me anymore.

-[both] Aw.
-My camerawoman.

So, everyone's just sharing...
because you knew Anna...

what your favorite Anna memory was.

She was always sharing and caring.

She was always there for all of us.
So I'm gonna miss you, Anna.

So, when Anna was mad at my ass
for being a dum-dum,

I came back to the room,

and shorty put
the f*cking Great Wall of China in there.

And I was just so shocked

to see how some of the pillows
were standing up,

considering it wasn't leaning on sh*t.
It was just gravity.

Anna and I were hanging in the bathroom.
Destiny walks in.

And she goes, "sh*t, Destiny,
I'm about to steal your man."

[Hannah laughs]

-And she goes, "sh*t," like she does.
-"sh*t."

-Oh, I got you.
-You got me?

Yay! Okay, go ahead.

Anna always wanted my man.

It happened with every single couple
I was ever in.

I told her, "Wear my shoes,
wear my clothes."

She even wanted my foundation,

and I was gonna let her put it on. Okay?

Every time I jumped,
she wanted to jump, too. Okay?

So that's my Anna, baby.

[Hannah] Aw, thank you, Destiny.

-Thanks. We love you, Anna.
-We love you, Anna.

That is my Love Island Live! sign off.

We're gonna miss Anna.

Okay, guys, can we get everyone
to say a "sh*t" in Anna's honor?

Okay. Ready? One, two, three.

[all] sh*t!

We love you, Anna.

We love you, Anna.

[narrator] That's the end
of Love Island Live!

But do you wanna see Anna's funniest bits?

Here we go.

-I have tea.
-[Hannah laughs]

If you're not humping, you're not pumping.

I'm so...

La, la, dee...

I hope my ex will take me back after this.

I literally was like...

And he was like... And I was like...

And we were like...
And I was like, "Oh, my God!"

It's perfect.

[Hannah] Our queen Anna Banana.

We're gonna go down, drop it to the floor,

then bring it up.

Yeah! Next one.

Good. 'Cause I'm the only funny one here.
sh*t.

[narrator] There's no doubt everyone
will miss the one thing they call Anna.

Or, as we say in Scotland, Anna.

[theme song playing]

[narrator] The other week, the worldwide
Unseen Bits audience broke the Internet

with love for Keenan and Kay Kay.

-[Keenan]
-[Kay Kay]

-I guarantee you would.
-I don't know if I've done that before.

-Finish on top?
-Yeah.

Sorry, Mom.

Wow.

[narrator] The Internet exploded
as Kay Kay and Keenan went fully viral.

"Kay Kay and Keenan
are spiffingly delightful

on the American version of Love Island."

Smiley emoji, smiley emoji, smiley emoji.

"All the Keenan and Kay Kay chemistry
is literally making me explode!"

Flame emoji, flame emoji, flame emoji.

"Oh, my actual G. I totally love
Kay Kay and Keenan."

Heart emoji, heart emoji, heart emoji.

[narrator]
We debated whether to show this next clip

because the cuteness overload could result
in the show becoming too popular.

But for more Kay Kay and Keenan,

it's a risk we're willing to take.

-I like that.
-I'm happy here.

You know what I'm saying?
Like, why try to...

Why ruin something
when it's going good? You feel me?

-Right.
-The vibe is just vibing. I like it.

Kay Kay.

-Kay Kay, stop blushing, girl.
-That's my boo-boo.

-You gotta keep her, you know?
-I missed you today.

I missed you, too.

f*cking lips is chapped.

-I've been talking my f*cking ass off.
-Mine, too.

I got some lip balm. It's mango, though.

-That's cool?
-Mm-hmm.

You can use it first.

Thank you.

f*cking hell.

f*cking hanging around Harry's ass
too much.

Talking about "f*cking hell."

-Yeah.
-[Keenan] You were very understanding.

I tried to be very respectful.

-I like to think I was...
-My whole wig just hit the floor.

Want me to pick it up?

No, don't see. Don't see.

-Don't see. You can't see.
-Here, here.

They definitely gonna put that on TV.

-Look at it.
-I'm gonna protect you. Now, hurry up.

-It's okay.
-I'm not looking.

I feel like I don't wanna put it back on.

He said, "Let me see how bald you is."

I'm not bald.

-You got cornrows?
-Yeah. They just real nappy.

Where's your headband?

Wait, I don't need that.

I'm just gonna...

These kinda smell good.
That's f*cking weird.

[Kay Kay] Right.

I think it's 'cause
they smell good always.

[Kay Kay] Oh.

You be sweating like sugar?

-I must, because I...
-Honey sweat?

I definitely sweat it last night, bro.

My balls and everything was sweating.

[theme song playing]

[narrator] Earlier in the show, the girls
discovered the glitch on the beach.

Let me out!

Oh, my gosh. We can't go anywhere.

Get me out of this villa!

[narrator] But what's this?

A crab crossing the force field.

Y'all, it's a crab.

-Ew.
-[Emily gasps] Where?

-Right here, girl.
-I see it.

[narrator] Does this mean
our Islander Sims will finally escape?

I guess what I'm asking is...

What happened next?

We'll find out after the break.

[narrator] Welcome back to the sequel
of Love Island: Unseen Bit.

It's Love Island: Unseen Bits, plural.

[narrator] Before the break,
Destiny and Kassy discovered the glitch,

which meant the Islanders
were trapped in the villa forever.

But that was until they saw a crab
crossing over the force field.

Y'all, it's a crab.

-Ew.
-[Emily gasps] Where?

-Right here, girl.
-I see it.

[narrator]
So can they make a great escape,

or will they be trapped on Love Island
for simulated eternity?

Let's find out what happened next.

-Is it dead?
-Yeah. It's probably dead.

-It's dead.
-Yeah, it's dead.

-It's dead.
-Our little crab friend is dead.

[Kassy] Oh, sh*t. It is dead.

Emily touched him.

He didn't move.

His color was off.

That's when we all knew.

Unfortunately, he was no longer alive,

and we learned that fairly quick.

You were a great guy.
You did what you needed to do.

You provided for your family.
You were a damn good man.

[Destiny] A damn good man.

[Emily] And, you know, we just...
we're so sad to see you go.

[Destiny] Seeing you helped us realize

the glitch in the system
may not be such a glitch.

Maybe we can get out the force field.

[Kassy] No, bitch. It got out
the force field and now it's dead.

[Destiny] You right.
He got out the force field and d*ed.

-[Emily] Oh, sh*t, yeah.
-[Destiny] So maybe that's a bad sign.

We so sorry about that.
We would have fed you

and we was gonna keep you as a pet
'cause we kinda lonely in here.

You would have kept us in check, Mr. Crab.

[Kassy] I just felt connected with you.

And we're gonna bury you with love,

and you're gonna be connected
with the ocean again.

Absolutely.

-RIP, Crabs.
-RIP.

-RIP, Mr. Crabs.
-You were great.

-Bye, Mr. Crabs.
-RIP, Crabs.

RIP. God, what a good guy.

Only the good die young, you know?

-Yeah.
-Let's bury that guy.

It was our fate,
our destiny to cross paths,

us with Crabs,

for us to bury him in a good way.

You know, we feel
that we did the right thing.

We gave him a tombstone.

He wouldn't want us to be sad.

-He wouldn't want us to be sad.
-He wouldn't want it to be sad.

[narrator]
Unsurprisingly, Mr. Crabs' star sign was,

you guessed it, Sagittarius.

To Crabs himself, we love you.

[narrator] No crabs were harmed
in the making of this unseen bit.

[narrator] What contest is more savage
than the competition

for parking spots
outside a day care center?

It's Beach Hut Battle.

A game where we pit the girls
against the boys

and have them duke it out
for bragging rights.

The boys took home the win last week.

Can the girls tie it up this week,

or will the boys run away with a 2-0 lead?

This week is a battle of letters

as we have the Islanders compete
in the Fijian-based spelling bee.

Spilling what?

-Spelling.
-I thought he said "spilling."

Let's go spelling bee, baby!

[narrator] In the girls' corner,
it's the girls,

led by Hannah and Kassy.

In the boys' corner, it's...
you guessed it...

the boys,

with Jonah and Marco.

You're a teacher,
so you have to spell good.

I'm okay. But I love autocorrect.

-I'm so bad at spelling.
-Can I go read a book first?

Marco and Jonah, you're going down.

We're not losing.

[narrator in southern accent]
Them's fighting words.

[normal voice] And with that,
the first word is "Pacific."

Is Fiji near the Pacific Ocean?

No. I don't know.

I have a map in my classroom.

You need to switch your map.
Your map's wrong.

The Pacific. That's the West Coast,
best coast, baby. Sorry, Florida.

-Do you teach geography?
-No.

-Social studies?
-No.

-Then you're good. You got a pass.
-I don't do that.

P-A-C-I-F-I-C.

Pacific.

P-A-C-I-F-I-C.

[narrator] The girls may not know
where the Pacific Ocean is,

but they do know how to spell it.

As do the boys, making the score 1-1.

The next word is "cassava."

So a cassava is a root,

kinda like a potato, native here, to Fiji.
They're really good.

It's either chicken, rice or potatoes.

-A-V-A. Cassava.
-What about O-V?

-Sound it out.
-Well, my name's Kassy.

But usually spelled with C-A-S.

Cassava is spelled C-A-S-A-V-A. Cassava.

Cassava.

C-A-S-A-V-A.

Both teams did not know the root
of that word and are still tied at 1-1.

The final word is "souvenir."

S-O-U-V-I...

-S-O-U-V-E-N...
-S-O-U-V-E-I...

-Do you think there's a G in there?
-E-I-R. What?

-Think there's a G...
-No.

-N-I-R. N-I-R.
-N-I-R.

Yeah, that sounds right.

-S-O-U-V-I-N-I-E-R.
-That's what we're running with.

Oh, damn!

S-O-U-V-E-N-I-R.

-Whoo!
-Yeah!

[narrator] For some reason,
Jonah let Marco take this one,

which did not go well for them.

I couldn't even repeat it to 'em back
right now if I tried.

Yeah, that's bad.

-We're smart.
-We do this stuff. Okay, boys?

You may have had us last week,
but we're making a comeback.

-It's 1-1 now.
-Exactly.

-I had... I didn't doubt us at all.
-Uh-uh.

[narrator] The girls win this week's
Beach Hut Battle,

which means they are now all tied up.

-And we can spell.
-Oh.

[narrator] Come back next week
for another Beach Hut Battle.

Are there more unseen bits
after this break?

Yes.

[narrator] Welcome back to
Love Island USA: Unseen Bits.

The show where we show you
some of the secret beauty routines

that keep our Islanders
looking camera ready.

Don't think about nothing stressful.

-Just remember you're in paradise.
-What about America's economic state?

Oh, wow.

He's a pretty boy.

[narrator] So watch where you're going...

Is this not a real wall?

Oh, my God.

-Hey.
-[Harrison] Oh, watch...

Are you okay?

[narrator] ...and make yourself a snack...

-You're an idiot sandwich.
-Wow.

[narrator]
...because it's time for more unseen bits.

Perfect.

[narrator]
Hooking up and cracking on is hard work,

but sometimes, Islanders need to get away
from the others

and spend some time alone to recharge.

Here's Harrison.

All he wants is
to enjoy the peace and quiet

of some uninterrupted me time
tanning in the sun.

Ooh, he looks so fine.

You know I'm coming.

-This your sun baby was wanting?
-Yeah.

[narrator]
Earlier, Harrison made the mistake

of making a lovely breakfast
for the lovely Destiny.

I liked the eggs a lot.

The breakfast, period, was really good.

I love the way you cooked the bacon.

It's like thick cut or something.
It was perfect.

The way you cooked it was right.

You cooked them differently
than how you usually do.

The first way you used to cook 'em,

I wasn't used to them being like that,
but I was like, this is...

Really, I'm not usually an egg person.

It's not my first go-to.

Like, I don't not like 'em,

but I would do pancakes or French toast.

...more like some cinnamon,
vanilla and nutmeg.

I got a real sweet tooth.
Why do you think I like you?

Okay, I got you... You look so good.

-Thank you.
-[kissing]

-Okay, I'll let you sunbathe.
-Yeah, yeah. Do what you got to do.

I think avocado helps with cramps as well,
now that I think about it.

Well, tanning's gone now.

[narrator] Harrison never made breakfast
for anyone again

and lived happily ever after.

[theme music playing]

[narrator] Love Island, the most
tantalizing island-based show on Earth.

But what really happens in the bedroom
when the lights go out?

Let's take a naughty peep
at another installment

of Unseen Bits' scandalous sealed section.

It's Islanders After Dark.

The lights are out,
but the Islanders are wide awake.

Surely we can just stay up in here, right?

-Surely!
-Surely!

[narrator] Incredibly,

in a room full of Islanders,
Marco still hungers for a snack.

Dude, that snack cupboard is scarce.

One, two, three, four.

Bring some food through that door.

You know what we do have?

-Bacon.
-Bacon.

[all shouting]

[narrator] Sizzling.

The bacon, that is.

Kelly, we're hungry!

-Kelly!
-Kelly!

[men barking]

[narrator] This was Islanders After Dark.

So steamy.

Come back after the break
for more smoking hot unseen bits.

[narrator] This is Love Island USA.

The "USA" obviously stands for
"unseen scenes assortment."

I didn't think I'd have much in common

with a 22-year-old real estate student
from Louisiana,

but it turns out that Kassy and I
start our day

by saying the exact same thing.

Please let today be a good day.

Have you heard of telenovelas?

-Who?
-Spanish telenovelas.

Like Spanish drama love shows.

Oh, yeah, girl.

Imagine we just do that.

Like two new Islanders come
and I'm just like this.

You should do it.

Like that? Oh, no, Kassy.

I think you mean like this.

Dun, dun, dun.

[dramatic music]

[narrator] Two new bombshells arrive
to cause drama.

Will the girls crumble under the pressure?

Who are you?

[Mike] I'm Mike.

[Imani] My name is Imani.

I wasn't expecting this.

[Imani]
The girls are definitely gonna be nervous.

I mean, I would be nervous, too.

I don't take any sh*t.

Like, if I want something,
I go for it in life.

Oh, no.

[Mike] When I walk into the villa,
I expect to hear a couple screams.

[Destiny screams] I'ma run away screaming.

-We both run into the ocean.
-[Destiny] Yes.

-Like, "We can't do this."
-We can't do this.

Take it away. Just take me away.

[imitating narrator] "Kassy and Destiny
are not prepared for what's to come."

[imitating narrator] "They have no clue."

[narrator]
Is that what I actually sound like?

I always thought my voice was much higher.

[theme song playing]

[narrator] The only way to ensure
a steady flow of unseen beach hut bits

is with our unseen Beach Hut Blitz.

Islanders, you're the new host

on the Money Can't Buy
home shopping network.

And this week, we need you
to sell this limited edition,

one-of-a-kind Unseen Bits whoopee cushion.

Good afternoon, everybody.

This is Marco on MCB, Money Can't Buy.

Now, you know what this means.

It means we've got some hot sh*t

that you can't even spend your money on
because money can't buy it.

This amazing...

whoopee cushion.

This whoopee cushion
has been under the ass

of all the Islanders in this place.

It's full of my farts,
every other Islanders' farts,

and when you sit on it,
you get gas of everybody.

From our asses to yours.

Not only is it elastic
and can replace the condom...

It's got it all.

...but also...

keeps the men away.

It says "Unseen Bits." And you know why?

Because it's hidden away.

Put it under your chair.

Put it just like this.

And you just sit.

[farting noise]

Oh, that's my crush right there.

-[farting noise]
-Hi, baby. Oh, my God.

All the embarrassment in the world.

[imitates farting noise]

Oh, my gosh.

Did I just fart?

I farted.

I didn't know.

I broke it.

So I've got to sell the broken one?

Slightly used, but one man's trash
is another man's treasure.

Even though
it's a little wear and teared out...

It's touched Emily's bum.

It's actually a lot more durable
than this.

I just have a really fat ass.

This device can out-fart me,
and if you can out-fart me

you're the number one farter
in all of Love Island history.

But wait, there's more.

Let's say someone passed away

and you guys are all sitting
in a funeral, sad,

and you put a whoopee cushion
underneath somebody's seat.

I thought I tooted.

Don't miss out on this
once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.

It's all the rave. It's what everyone's
doing nowadays. It's what the kids do.

Penniless. Wait, no. Penniless?
It's worthless. No, not worthless.

It's... You know what I mean.

It's priceless.

Card, credit, food stamps.

You still can't buy this
Unseen whoopee cushion fart device.

Put your money where your mouth is.

Even though you can't buy it.

A whoopee cushion.

Would you put a price on it?

I wouldn't.

[narrator] To purchase, please call...

What's the number?

All right. We don't have one,
because money can't buy it.

We'll be making the world a better place

same time next week on...

[narrator] That's all, folks.

Have a great week, y'all.

That's American for "you all."

See you next time.

[theme song playing]