08x05 - The Flying Nun

[bunniefuu]

[church bell rings]

[vocalizing]

In the name of the creator,
our brother Jesus, and Wisdom, Sophia,

we thank you for the gift of this day,
for our first breath this morning.

In your name, we pray. Amen.

[dance music playing]

-♪ Better ♪
-♪ Oh, things just keep getting better ♪

[Karamo] Like to know who we're helping?

-[Bobby] Yeah!
-[Jonathan] Yes!

[Karamo] Her name is Alison McCrary.

"Alison is 40 years old and lives in
the Gentilly neighborhood of New Orleans."

"She is a social-justice lawyer
and advocate for human rights."

Good for her!

I'm trained professionally as an attorney,

but I feel like I did life
a little backwards

because I was 25 years old when I started
the process of becoming a sister.

-[Karamo] A nun?
-Oh my God! Sister Act!

-We are having a Sister Act moment.
-I hope she's like the redheaded one!

Or the brunette!

Oh, I love Kathy Najimy.

[Alison] I left life as a Catholic sister
in 2020 when I was 38

because, as Catholic sisters, we make vows
of poverty, celibacy, and obedience,

but I would like to have
a long-term relationship with someone,

someone who knows me
on a really deep level.

"Alison is nominated by her dear friend
from the church, Miss Deedy."

When Alison told me
she was leaving the convent,

I was like, "Okay!"

"Okay now."

"Let's go full speed ahead,"

because Alison is a phenomenal woman.

She has a big heart,

and she gives 100% of herself.

If she can help you, she's gonna help you.

"Alison is as a real-life saint."

"Her commitment to her community
and social causes runs so deep,

she even opens her home to anyone in need,

whether an ex-convict, refugee,
or someone simply down on their luck."

-I love her already.
-Right?

I also serve as a spiritual advisor
on Louisiana's death row,

and I've been visiting the people
on death row for about 17 years.

Alison is involved in so much,

but to make space for someone,

if you wanna be involved
in a relationship,

you have to put the brakes on things.

"It's been 15 years
since Alison had a long-term relationship,

and she feels like she missed out
on developing her social skills."

She did have an LTR with Jesus.

She did have a long-term relationship
with Jesus. That is true.

I wasn't able to...
to date when I was a sister.

We have a vow of celibacy,
so we're not allowed to date

or have romantic or sexual relationships,

but before I was a Catholic sister,
I did date some,

but I was very young
and a very different person,

so when I first left the convent,
I was really nervous about meeting people

and there was a lot
I needed to figure out.

First dates are hard. They really are.

Especially, like,
you learn first dates in your 20s.

-Yeah.
-[Bobby] She didn't do that.

-It takes practice.
-Yeah.

The person who dates Alison
must have a lot of energy.

You better take your vitamins,

you better start jogging,
running, working out,

because you're gonna have to be ready
for Alison.

She's a firecracker.

The spreadsheet. [chuckles]

I created a little rubric for dating,
and then I made it into a spreadsheet.

[laughs]

Each criteria
is given a certain number of points,

and then those columns
have built-in formulas to give a score.

It helps me to remember
what is important to me

and to look objectively at some things.

It's a tool.

That's just too much.

Lord. [sighs]

Whoosah.

My baby needs a new attitude.

[Karamo] "Alison's friends from both
inside and outside her church community

want the Fab Five to help her transition
from her life as a nun

so she can fully embrace
the rest of her life."

-We can do that!
-Never too late, Alison!

It's never too late to find love.

It's never too late.

And I think the Fab Five could help her

because Alison is missing a love life.

[Karamo] So our mission this week is
to help this former nun find a future hon.

[cheering]

-♪ Don't stop, don't stop ♪
-♪ Stop ♪

-♪ What you're doing to me ♪
-♪ Doing to me ♪

♪ We could sell our love... ♪

-[Tan] Cute neighborhood. We're here?
-[Karamo] We're here?

-[Tan] Whoo!
-[Jonathan] yay!

♪ Give yourself time to think... ♪

[Alison] Peanuts are ready.

This is... weeds.

[Bobby] Alison?

-Alison? Hi!
-[Alison laughs]

Did we catch you gardening?

Whatcha doing?

-Hello!
-[laughs]

-Hi!
-[Bobby] Hug?

-[Jonathan] Hi, queen!
-You want some peanuts?

Always!

Peanuts are grown in the ground?

-Hi! So...
-Hold on. [laughs]

Alison's laugh is very infectious.

You can't help but smile
and start to giggle with her.

How do you have a sweater on? Hi!

-[Alison] How are you?
-[Tan] So nice to meet you!

-Hi!
-[Antoni] Are those bananas?

[Alison] Those are actually plantains,

but those are bananas.

Those are baby bananas,

and there are figs, papayas, grapes.

I love this garden vibe.

I am living for this Armageddon,
end-of-days, Panic Room garden, honey.

Blackberries, pomegranates, lemons.

She's giving conscientious,
"I'm canning tomatoes because I am ready."

"My garden is ready to give me sustenance
through whatever may come my way."

-What's it like inside?
-[Alison] Uh...

My house inside?

[Bobby] Can we see inside?

-Okay!
-[Tan] Lead the way!

-This is my house.
-Your house is super cute.

She said, "Ceilings."

[Bobby] I love this big table.
Do you have a lot of people over?

[Alison] Yeah,
I like to cook a lot for people,

and I like to have people over for meals.

This is such a great kitchen.

[Jonathan]
Look at all your gorgeous spices.

Yeah, that's a little apothecary.

Food and plant medicine.

Everything is very labeled.

-[Tan] You are fully type A.
-[Alison laughs]

-[Bobby] Alison, what's this?
-[Alison] The Sacred Universe story.

So it's from the Big Bang to present day,

connecting evolution and creation
and spirituality and science.

-Wow.
-I really love.

Everything about Alison's house
is making my little Virgo heart happy.

The timeline of evolution
in a former nun's home

is not something I was expecting to see,
and I like it.

What's upstairs?

[Alison] Upstairs, okay, so...

-[Bobby] Is this your bedroom?
-This is where I sleep.

[Antoni] Bobby, there's literally
a sign on the door.

It says it's my room.

[Bobby] I love it.

There's order
and then there's, like, extreme order.

A lot of the nuns would always say,
"Cleanliness is holiness,"

and so I want them organized.

Where's the messy?
I wanna see some cracks.

We love journaling.

[Jonathan]
"I will not comply with sexism."

[Antoni] "Thin preference
is about capitalism,

white supremacy, and patriarchy."

-Yes, it is, queen!
-[laughs]

-[Tan] Why do you have a kettle here?
-[Alison] Every morning, I make tea.

[Tan] You got a tea station in
your bedroom? Is this a meditation space?

-[Alison] This is the chapel.
-[Tan] Oh, it's a chapel!

You have a chapel in your bedroom. Okay.

Is that holy water on the wall?

Yes. Yes, it is.

[Alison] These are my prayer books,
The Liturgy of the Hours,

and this is where I sit to pray
after I come and sage myself.

-This is really nice!
-Some holy water here.

[Jonathan] You're just getting in touch
with your highest self in the morning.

I love that!

I love this room.

I exercise in here.
It's like a everything room.

And I write,
and I do some artwork in here.

-Like a man cave. This is your woman cave.
-Yeah. [laughs]

I can't get over these labels.

How much label tape
do you go through monthly?

[Karamo] A lot.

If you spent half the time dating
that you did making labels...

[laughs] I might have a little luck!

[Bobby] On the surface,
Alison seems pretty put together.

She seems giggly and happy
and organized and labeled.

[Antoni] We're gonna go politely explore.

[Bobby] But I think
she might be hiding some things,

and not, like, a dead body in the garden.

Gosh, everything
just reads "much older lady."

Alison's closet is...

strange.

All that can go.

Like, everything that's dowdy.

It sounds like you use your home

as an extension
of all the amazing work you do.

Yeah. One friend is like,
"Alison, your desk is by your front door."

"You look like a receptionist
to your own house."

Like, "Hi, are you here to see Alison?
Let me go get her."

-"Did you make an appointment?"
-[Alison laughs] Right?

And so this is where I write,

but I haven't really had time
to make it more inspiring or comfortable.

-But it's organized.
-It's organized!

♪ Doo, doo, doo, doo, doo ♪

♪ Doo, doo, doo
Doo, doo, doo, doo, doo ♪

-♪ Doo, doo, doo ♪
-♪ Doo... ♪

[Antoni] Every single drawer is labeled.

This woman needs some kind
of a sponsorship for a label maker.

It's intense.

Wow.

[Bobby] Wait. What's in here?
"God's coming, and they're pissed."

-Jonathan...
-I love a nonbinary bag!

-[Alison laughs]
-So cute!

Oh my God.

-I thought you would like it.
-I love it.

It goes with your outfit.
She's in tie-dye today too. It's perfect.

Who even needs that other bag?

So good.

-Thank you for my bag. I love it.
-I thought you would.

-[Jonathan] Won't you miss it?
-No. I took a picture of it.

So, okay, you have gorgeous hair.

-Thank you. It's a little like yours.
-It looks really gorgeous.

There's so many fun things
to do with curly hair.

I cut it myself.

When I wash it, I flip it upside down,
put it in a ponytail, and I...

-Okay. Cute.
-Yeah.

But, I mean, you were, like,
a literal, full-on nun for 14 years.

Is there anything beauty-wise
that you've never learned how to do

that you really wanna do?

[Alison] I never learned how to put on
makeup. This is actually for Mardi Gras.

Got it. You don't have a lot
of daily-wear stuff.

It's more glittery, bright stuff.

Sometimes I think people think,
like, "Oh, beauty is about how I look."

"I don't care about the way I look,
thus I'm not gonna care about it."

But it's actually
about how we treat ourselves.

So I would be curious
if we could, like, allow your mission

of, like, caring and being in community

to extend to yourself just a smidgen.

[jazzy music playing]

[Karamo] Hmm.

What do we have here?

So, for the first time in history,

I didn't have to guess
what was in a drawer

because everything is super labeled.

But I'm curious,
where is your messy drawer?

-Have you heard of a messy drawer?
-Yeah, a junk drawer.

I don't have a junk drawer.

You don't have a junk drawer?

-No. Did you find a junk drawer?
-I'm not...

-I don't know.
-I'm not, like...

I know we don't know each other yet,

but I'm not, like, sneaky and sly.
I'm genuinely asking you.

[Alison] Yeah.

There's this initial appearance
of kind of a perfectly-curated life.

And whenever I see something like that,
I just always wonder what's beneath.

When you left vowed religious life,

you left because you had certain needs
that weren't being met.

-Is that safe to say?
-[Alison] Uh, yeah.

I loved being a Catholic sister,
but was really realizing that I had needs,

and the container that's holding my life

isn't allowing me
to have those needs filled.

-Mainly around intimacy needs, yeah.
-Okay, so intimacy needs.

But intimacy isn't just physical.
Intimacy is like "into-me-see."

"See into me."

-Like, "Get to know me."
-Okay.

-Um, I am biromantic demisexual.
-Okay.

Um, yeah.

It means I'm romantically attracted
to men, women, nonbinary folks,

but I'm only sexually attracted to people
if there's an emotional connection.

-[Antoni] So how's all that going for you?
-Um...

-Do you like going on dates?
-I like getting to know people.

But my friend,
she had a bar crawl, and I love her,

and it was fun, but I was so uncomfortable

just 'cause I'm like, "Everyone knows what
to order at all these different bars,"

and I just didn't know what to order.
I just got water.

Well, if you're going on dates
and if that's something you wanna do,

it's like,
you should be able to go into a bar,

and be like, "Am I in the mood for
a mocktail, a cocktail, a glass of wine?"

So you can get that out of the way
and get to know the person.

Yeah.

[Jonathan] Ha!

[whimsical music playing]

-You're single. Am I right?
-I am, yeah.

But you're ready to mingle.
Am I also right?

I think so!

What are you wearing on your dates?

What I wear, it's, like, tried and true.

Okay.
It is what I would call modest clothing.

-Yes.
-[Tan] Do you wanna be modest always?

I mean, maybe...

There's maybe some occasions
where something else might be needed.

But I'm usually just really uncomfortable...

Okay. I wanna talk through your closet.

-Let's figure it out.
-Yeah.

Why do you have twos of everything?
What ark are you trying to fill?

-[laughs] An ark!
-[Tan] Full of women who dress the same?

What, do they go two by two?

-[laughs]
-[Tan] What's going on?

[Alison] When I like something,
I try to find the same thing.

Like, these are from the thrift store,

and I'm like, "The universe
wants me to wear this dress."

"They know I like it."

However, it's feeling a little... older
than I would care for you to look.

Yeah. Yeah,
and I wear cardigans over those.

[pensive music playing]

Wow. Do you live in Utah
in your spare time?

[Alison] I have
some good Mormon friends though.

All my friends and family are Mormon.
I live in Utah!

But this is
like a woman much older in Utah.

I like that I don't have to think
about what I wear.

So what I wear to testify
in the state legislature

on a bill-airing committee

is the same thing that I will wear
to do my gardening in the backyard.

How about a date?

And the same thing I wear on a date.

-It's all the same.
-Oh.

[Alison] Yeah. It doesn't change.

[Karamo] Do you think
people see the real you?

I think they do.

I see everything's organized,
and I see the beautiful garden.

I think people look at me
and think I have it together. [chuckles]

-You know? And...
-So what don't you have together?

Oh, gosh.
I mean, whether it's issues of trust

or needs to feel control over things, um,

feeling insecure,

and then appearing more confident
than I might be.

I mean, there's
just a laundry list of all the things.

Yeah. How often do you help yourself?

I mean, I feel like I try
to schedule in the practices. [chuckles]

Um...

You know? Meeting with counselors.

-I said yourself.
-Yeah. Um...

So how much time you take for yourself?

[chuckles]

[heartfelt music playing]

-This is hard. [chuckles]
-No, it's okay.

A lot of my relationships end up being
like caretaking relationships, you know?

Just kind of patterns
of having to care for people.

[Karamo] Yeah. Is it exhausting sometimes,
always giving?

-Of course.
-[Karamo] Yeah.

-[Alison] It's a habit.
-[Karamo] That's how you been taught.

Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, and sometimes I think,
like, you know, with being a sister,

in my mind, it was to get close.

You know, it's like, "We're here
to love everyone who needs love,"

and it was also a way of avoiding what...

um, what I might really need.

[Karamo] Whatever you need in your heart,
you should've gotten that.

Yeah. Thanks.

We are back.

-Hi!
-Hi!

-[Jonathan] Hi!
-[Alison chuckles]

So how do you feel about allowing us
to do what we know how to do?

Oh! Um, yeah. I mean,
I think y'all are, like, experts, right?

That's the title.
Jury's out, frankly, but...

[laughs]

Yeah. Yeah. I think I...
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

-[Karamo] You're coming with us.
-I am?

[Karamo] You're coming with us!

Grab a comfy pair of shoes, and let's go.

[Jonathan] We're giving you
more tools, queen.

[Tan] Come on, dear.

♪ The time has come to start the show ♪

♪ Let that feeling get in your bones... ♪

[Bobby] I feel like Alison might be
using her activism

to hide the work
that she needs to do on herself.

So I think my biggest goal this week

is to really help push Alison
out of her comfort zone.

And I wanna show her a way
to utilize her space

that can help her change some other things
in her life for the better.

[Jonathan]
Alison is a little bit très uptight.

She maybe forgot
how to have a little bit of fun,

but, lucky for her, my middle name is fun.

So I want for us to just get
into a little sandbox

that is beauty and play.

[Tan] She has
so many clothes in her closet,

but, right now,
everything's so functional.

It just serves a purpose.

I wanna get rid of the matronly clothes,

and I want to show her
what fashion can do for her self-esteem.

If you know what your drink is,
it's one less thing to stress with

so that you can be yourself,

and you can show up
as a curious human being

and get to know the person
you're on a date with.

I wanna get her to,
"You know what? [beep] ...this."

♪ Tell me can you feel that rush? ♪

Between the labels and the spreadsheets,
Alison loves control,

but this week,
you gotta let go of control.

I wanna connect Alison with some people
so she can practice getting out there,

and, at the end the week, maybe she might
find somebody that she likes.

♪ We the bestest ♪

[upbeat music playing]

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh... ♪

-[Alison] So I get you this morning?
-[Karamo] You get me first.

-[Alison laughs]
-♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

-[car horn beeps]
-[laughing]

[Alison] Oh my gosh.

-Beautiful. [laughs]
-[Karamo] Glad you like.

[grunts]

-[woman] Hello.
-Hi!

Welcome to Queenly Conjure.
My name is Lorena.

-Got some teas, if you'd like to share.
-I love tea. Thank you, Lorena.

[Lorena] Of course. Enjoy.

-[Karamo] Thank you.
-Thanks!

[Lorena] Of course. Thank you.

Your whole energy just lit up
when you saw her.

[laughs]

-Maybe!
-There's no maybe about that!

I don't know!
I also sense people's energy a lot.

-You like that energy.
-She has good energy.

[Karamo] I saw it!

You were like, "Hi."

-You were, like, "Oh, tea?"
-[laughs]

I like that opening up of you,
you know?

Because I know you said that
a large part of that was closed off.

As a sister, we have a...
We had a vow of celibacy.

So, of course, we have attractions.
That's normal,

but, like,
we can't act on those attractions.

So everything just went friend zone,
you know?

-Yes.
-Um, now it's confusing.

Alison was a nun for 14 years.

She was taught
to abandon her sexual desires

and what she needs,

but now she has to rediscover all of that
if she wants to find a relationship.

Yesterday, I saw a list on your computer.

[laughs] You saw my list?

-I did see a list.
-[Alison] Yeah.

And that list had a lot of type-A

"I must have this, must have this,
must have this in a relationship."

Preferences.
Maybe not must-haves. Preferences.

Those are some strong preferences, girl!

-There's, like, 50 of 'em or something.
-There was, like, 50 strong preferences!

I'm so nervous about getting caught up
in emotions, feelings.

It's like, "The minute
that I have to start feeling,

I get uncomfortable,

so I control
and put into categories and lists."

The problem is, is that
when it's a spreadsheet like you had,

instead of building healthy boundaries,
you're building walls.

And you're not getting the connections
you truly deserve.

It's hard to hear all those things.

You need things to be written down
so you can have that clarity,

which is why I brought this
because we need to redo that list.

Okay.

Wants, not wants, and boundaries.

-That's all I get, just three?
-Mm-hmm.

Okay!

What is it that you want?

-I think common interests.
-Okay.

-A commitment to social justice.
-Okay.

Now I'm gonna challenge you here.

What's the level of social justice?

Do they need to be at a 10%?
Is there a 15%?

Because what you do
and how active you are,

that takes your pool from a million to...

-[clicks teeth]
-Mm-hmm.

That's okay, if you're really like,
"They have to do these things."

No, they don't have to do those things,
but, like, maybe it's just supporting me

in my social-justice work.

-Maybe it's just like support.
-Boom!

Listen, that's so beautiful.
What else is a want for you?

I mean, I think there has to be
some level of chemistry, like a spark.

Chemistry and spark,
you know from off the bat.

I think the want, in this case,

is the courage to be able
to clearly say there is a spark.

-Mm-hmm.
-What are the things that we don't want?

Some people really just aren't available.

They think they are, but they're really
not emotionally available.

That's actually more of a want.
Emotionally available.

Emo... Yeah. Yeah.

[Karamo] These all coincide.
The want and the not want.

[Alison] Yeah, it's like there's
an opposite of those.

[Karamo] Exactly.
Now let's get those boundaries.

What are the things
that are like, "Nope, this is not okay."

I mean, I think respect is a big one.
Like, if there's not respect.

-[Karamo] Yes.
-[Alison] You know?

Where does, like, commitment
to personal growth go?

"You doing the same thing
you were doing five years ago,

and I don't want it." That's a boundary.

[Alison] A boundary.

All these things connect.
It's just making a shorter list.

It's such clear communication.

Then you start to really understand

and not get boggled down in the analytics

and the checking lists

that then becomes a wall.

Yeah. Yeah.

If you're trying to meet somebody,
having a long checklist is not the way.

What I wanna so is start that process off
where you can practice.

Because all you're doing
is saying to yourself

that "No one is ever gonna be
perfect enough for me."

I propose that you allow me
to introduce you to five people.

-Five people?
-Mm-hmm.

Every time you meet with someone
in the Fab Five,

at the end of your lesson,
you'll meet someone new.

No pressure. Just a meet,

where you can practice you clarifying,
"This is what I need."

And at the end of the week,
if you like somebody,

we circle back around
and say, "Maybe I go on a date."

Uh, o... okay.

-Does that work?
-That'd be awesome. That'd be awesome.

[upbeat music playing]

[Karamo]
I want you to meet my friend Pablo.

-Hey, Pablo.
-Hi.

-I'm Alison.
-[Pablo] Nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you. [chuckles]

[Karamo] Yeah, get comfortable.

-This is a dope little tea spot.
-[Pablo] I'm really happy to be here.

[Karamo] It's okay to know what you want

and also to understand the boundaries
of things that are not acceptable.

My friend here, he's active in sports.

Active in support, what do you mean?

-[Karamo] In sports.
-Oh, active in sports.

[Pablo] I play soccer on Sunday mornings.

But allow yourself to live in a space

where things can change
and people can surprise you.

It's all a big mystery. [laughs]

I just go along for the ride.

Which I love! I love that!

[Alison] I'm not in control!

[upbeat music playing]

[Tan] Okay, so I brought you to Joseph,
which I love very much.

[Alison] Mmm, I'm very uncomfortable.

Everything looks really, really...
probably expensive.

It's not things I would wear really.

There's no flat shoes. [laughs]

There are a couple of flat shoes.
There are a couple.

Alison isn't comfortable here,

but I want her to understand

that the way she's going
to start to feel more comfortable

on dates or in social settings

is if she presents herself well.

So I want to play with fit.

I wanna play with color.

I want to play with who she gets to be
going forward.

For a long time, you haven't really had
a chance to experiment,

and what you have in your closet
isn't going to push you at all.

-You have twos of everything.
-You called it Noah's Ark.

You had a Noah's Ark closet.
They all came in twos.

-I've been laughing about that a lot.
-[Tan] Good!

Like, in bed at night,
thinking, "Tan's right."

Even if you continue
to get two of everything,

doesn't bother me
as long as they make you feel something,

not just,
"I'm putting clothes on my body."

So I'm gonna take you to a mirror.

Talk to me about the parts of your body
that you like.

Um...

I don't really think about it.

-I feel like...
-That's not true.

Yeah. I mean, it's not true, and it is,

'cause, as sisters, we were almost meant
to feel like we didn't have a body.

Desexualized.

And you're not of this earth, you know.
You're in the world, but not of the world.

But now that you're out,

you can't say
you've not looked in the mirror

and thought, "I wanna show this,
but I don't wanna show this."

So what makes you uncomfortable
about your body?

I feel like I have broad shoulders
and broad chest.

-Okay.
-And so I always feel, like, top-heavy.

I mean, I like to wear a cardigan.

I like to cover things up
so I don't feel so top-heavy.

Would you try on anything for me, please?

"Anything"?

I just want you to see that the things
that you see are all in your mind.

No one's thinking that.

I was raised in a very religious...

I'm Muslim, which... We're a little
more extreme than most religions.

And so I'm not the most sexual person.

I chose somebody to marry
who was very, very Christian,

who also didn't expect just sex
on the first date.

Like, it takes a long time to get to that.

However, I still wanted to be desired.

Don't you want that at least?

A little of that might be nice.

And you don't do well on dates.

I think you said
you don't feel comfortable on dates.

Do you think
that that might change slightly

if you really felt good about
how you presented yourself on those dates?

-Maybe.
-Great.

It'd be great to have, like, an outfit.
Yeah.

[laughs]

Who are you?

Where were you when I came to your house?

That's all I want.

[upbeat music playing]

Alison?

[laughing]

[Tan] Come on out! Let me see!

Okay. Will you stand here for me
and look at yourself?

Uh-huh.

Oh my. [laughs]

Your legs look amazing

and very long.

The shoe is gorgeous on you.

But I wanna know what you think.

Feels loud.

Feels attention drawing.

-Can I take out your, uh, clip?
-Um...

-I just want... Do you mind?
-Yeah. Yeah, you can take it out.

[laughs]

I just wanna see.

And then that on a date.

Does it feel like a version
that could potentially be you?

For your not-work life.

Yeah, maybe with some time.
I like this color

'cause it's similar
to the orange rust color I like to wear.

-I know.
-[Alison] So I do...

I'm usually not a pinky kind of person,
but yeah.

I think you look beautiful, Alison.

-Ready for the next one?
-Um, sure.

-I'm gonna give you this.
-A bag?

[Tan] Yeah.

Stand right here, please.

[Alison]
It feels like I have no bottoms on.

-[laughs] You don't!
-[Alison laughs] I don't! Um...

It's cute. I would never ever wear
anything like this.

[Tan] I know you wouldn't.
I wanted to push you.

Yeah.

-We are sharing the tiniest bit of cleave.
-[Alison] Yeah.

Let me take that bag from you.

And now look
at what that's doing to your chest.

I'd suggest always a scoop neck.
It doesn't have to be this low.

Just something
that really shows off some skin

so you start to see the extension
of a neck,

otherwise you will always feel
the way you do about your chest.

You know, the sleeves, the texture,
the belt, makes it so much small...

Like it really...

Yeah, it's like magic.

I wanted you to see that the thing
that was in your head about your body

was purely because
of how you were dressing it.

-Yeah.
-Your body is balanced.

It's like you...
Yeah, you make magic happen. [laughs]

Thanks!

-[Tan] And I have legs!
-You ha... Listen, you always had legs.

You just weren't showing 'em off.
They are great legs.

Now she can see what great clothes can do
for her body and her self-esteem.

I think,
within a few days of wearing stuff

that really enhance all the parts
of your body that you want to enhance,

I think you'll start
to really feel so much better,

and so much more comfortable on dates.

How do you do with chitchat?

I can talk to a lamppost.
I can make friends with a tree.

I can talk to anyone.

-Well, then I'm gonna put it to the test.
-Okay.

[Tan] Alison, this is my new friend Paige.

Nice to meet you.

Alison is 40 years old and a former nun.

I'm trying to get comfortable in things.

I usually wear
the same kinda thing all the time.

-[Paige] You buy it in several colors?
-That's exactly what I do.

Can't lie.
Like, I have this dress in teal too.

[Tan] But she can connect with anyone

as long she presents herself
with confidence and shares her own joy.

[Alison] I've never shown this much leg,
I don't think.

-You look cute!
-Thanks!

Because that could potentially lead
to a date.

You've never been to a drag show?

When I first came out of the convent,
we went to...

I think it was a Halloween party,
and they did have some drag,

but I've never been
to, like, drag show only.

Well, Sunday, I'm not hard to find,
'cause I'm usually at one, so...

[Alison] Awesome. That could be fun!

[laughs]

["Love's Addition" playing]

♪ Wind that bobbin up ♪

♪ Pull on my heart... ♪

I wanted to bring you somewhere that
I didn't know what I was doing either.

You and I are gonna learn together.
We're gonna throw a pot!

Alison is such an amazing activist,

but I think
she is also a creature of habit

and she's set in her ways.

Let me see them instructions. [laughs]

Old-school nuns would say, "You keep
the rule, and the rule will keep you,"

meaning you follow the rules,
and you get to stay in.

I want her to let go a little bit
and just open up more emotionally

and see that it's okay
to learn new things.

It's okay to try new things.
It's okay to make yourself vulnerable.

[Alison] It's hard learning new things.

[groans] Oh.

This is a lot harder than... [laughs]

[Bobby] Because she definitely thinks
she knows how she wants things

and has a plan and has a label.

-Look, I made a pitcher. [laughs]
-You made the Holy Grail!

I still have a blob. [laughs]

[Bobby] But I want Alison to realize
you can't control everything.

[Alison] Oh no, she's sliding again.

Oh, my sponge flew off.

I think I'm gonna start over. Yeah.

My wheel is just all wet.

It's like air hockey.

[Bobby] As you know, Karamo has set up
some meet-and-greets,

and he's got another one
that's meeting us here,

and I'm gonna let you teach them.

I'm not feeling confident in this.

I feel that I haven't seen
this side of you before.

I haven't either! [laughs]

[Gary] This looks fun.

-[Alison] Have you ever made pottery?
-I have not.

-[Bobby] Gary was in the service.
-[Alison] Okay.

So he's all about service, like you are.

-What branch of the m*llitary?
-[Gary] Army.

My nephew, he just joined the Marines.

[Bobby] Alison is very good
with organizing

and putting everything in little boxes,

but, after 14 years of being a nun
and two years of a pandemic,

this is no-pressure fun.

Just, "Hey, let's hang out
with somebody new."

[Alison]
What were you doing in the m*llitary?

I was an artilleryman originally,
and then I became an intelligence officer.

[Alison] Okay.

What do you think some of the biggest
challenges have been, just big picture?

-Dating at, like, our age?
-Yeah.

I would say it's just...

You know, you have to allow yourself
to be vulnerable because...

-To open up?
-Yeah, to open up.

[Alison] And share.

[Bobby] You have to be present
and in the moment,

and that goes for meeting people too.

If you feel a little spark, great!

Maybe go on a real date later on.

-Oh my God. Look at you.
-[Alison] Well, I don't know.

-It's not what it's supposed be.
-I feel like I'm way behind at this point.

-[Bobby] It has potential.
-[Gary laughs]

This is going great.

[Alison laughs]

[upbeat piano music playing]

-[Antoni] Just me and you.
-[Alison] This is gonna be a disaster!

[laughing]

Oh my gosh. I've never even...

-You've never been behind a bar before?
-Of course not!

Being back here, it reminds me of...

So I worked as a waiter and a bartender.

This was my life
for the entirety of my 20s,

was, like, serving drinks.

I love mixology,
but I'm really excited to do it with you.

So welcome to Vessel.

I wanted to bring you here

because, um, you were telling me
earlier this week

that it was like
this pub crawl-y situation

where you had to go to different bars,
and you were kind of intimidated.

Personally, I'm allergic,

and I learned later in life
that I was very allergic,

but it's still something
that I love to include when I entertain.

If you wanna loosen up
and you wanna have a little cocktail

before, you know, a little rendezvous
or a date or social gathering with friends

or whatever it is,

then you know you at least have one drink
you can fall back on.

Okay.

I think Alison spends so much time
focusing on other people

and helping her community,

it's like a certain part of her has just
kind of remained in the background

and has been suppressed, if you will,

but it's like she's been given permission
to exercise this part of her

that's been kind of brushed aside
for a really long time,

and she's finding it now.

I'm a Polish boy,
so let's go for classic vodka.

My sister really loves vodka,
um, with orange juice.

Vodka-cranberry is really popular as well.

Do you like cranberry juice?

Can you ever mix
the cranberry and orange juice?

Totally! This is your drink.

[Alison]
Well, I do a lot of juicing at home.

-I have a juicer.
-[Antoni] Got it.

[Alison] And I do a lot of...
Yeah, I love juicing

beets, carrots, turmeric from the garden.
I like making juices.

-It's really pretty.
-It is pretty. It looks very tropical.

Hmm. I like the flavors.

And it's familiar to you.

-Do you feel like we have a winner?
-I like this one the best.

Vodka, cranberry, orange juice
with a wedge of lemon.

There you go! We got it!
You have a drink now!

I wanna know what you've learned
about yourself throughout the process.

Uh...

I'm like going so deep so quick.

[Antoni] You feel like
you go so deep so quick?

Yeah. Yeah.
It's something I need to work on. [laughs]

I mean, I think
that's such a beautiful quality,

and I think that
there's also a time and a place for it.

You know what I mean?
If you, like, lead with that, it can...

-Like, "Hey, ever been to death row?"
-Exactly. Like, that's a little...

I mean, it's a hell of an icebreaker,
you know?

It's really about the long game
with dating.

You won't figure it out immediately.
You're gonna make a lot of mistakes.

Speaking of meeting people, I have
a friend I was hoping you can meet.

-Are you down?
-[Alison] I'm down for that.

Yeah!

[Antoni] I'm gonna be
your bartender today.

-[Alison] Where are you from?
-Born and raised here.

What kind of things are you into?

Well, I'm a hairstylist.

-Oh!
-[Ebony] Yes.

-[Alison] Great hair.
-Thank you.

I think with Alison, she's started to shed
all of these barriers and these layers.

-So what about you?
-[Alison] I'm doing some writing.

I do a lot, like, social-justice work
in the community.

Is that what you're writing about?

-Um, I was also a Catholic Sister before.
-Okay, good.

So your faith it is important to you.

-Awesome.
-Yeah.

[Antoni] And that makes her
so much more interesting of a person.

It's authenticity.

-But I'm open, so...
-[Ebony] Yeah.

I wouldn't say I'm super religious,
but I do believe in treating people well.

The energy we put out into the world...

-[Ebony] Absolutely.
-It's important. Yeah.

Not that this is a competition,
but I do feel like she'll pick Ebony

at the end of the week.

[mouths]

[upbeat music playing]

♪ If you got it ♪

♪ Don't let it go to waste ♪

♪ Won't you let me have a taste? ♪

-Hi! Come on over.
-[Alison laughs]

Welcome to Sweet Olive.

-[Alison] Thanks.
-[Jonathan] It's so cute here.

We're just gonna snuggle over here, queen.
This is gonna be our station.

I actually genuinely don't think that
Alison has ever slowed down long enough

to realize how much of a positive impact
she's had on people's lives.

I'm so excited to, like, make like Adele
and turn the table

and get to focus on Alison
and celebrate her,

because she does deserve it.

You have beautiful waves.
Look at how gorgeous your waves are.

Uh... I mean, I'd like it to look more full.
It just looks very thin and flat.

[Jonathan] Even if your hair
is, like, finer, like yours,

you definitely, like,
wanna use some product on it,

and it's gonna look
so much fuller and fatter.

When's the last time you did
an at-home haircut?

Mmm...

Probably eight or nine months ago?

[Jonathan] I'm thinking, like, layers.

Like a little shaggy, curly '70s vibe,
but long.

-I'm doing the letting go.
-But it's going to be so full and pretty!

And you're a lawyer.

-[Alison] Yes.
-[Jonathan] A public defender?

No, I represent people
who do civil disobedience.

Yeah, so I do that. A lot of mediation,
restorative justice, conflict resolution.

[Jonathan] What's your favorite part
about what you get to do?

[Alison] Hmm.
I think listening to people's stories

and finding these magical moments
where people can work together

and find ways
where they can resolve their conflict

where they didn't think they could,
where they were at each other's throats.

[Jonathan] How long
will a mediation session take?

We say, uh, "Mediators do it
till everyone is satisfied."

[laughing]

Ooh, so mediators
are good lovers, darling. I love it.

-We do it till everyone is satisfied.
-[Jonathan] Oh, I love that.

-So we have as many sessions as it takes.
-[Jonathan] Look at your gorgeous smile!

♪ Make it golden ♪

♪ Eh ♪

[Alison] Mmm.

[Jonathan] It's good, right?

-So amazing.
-Yes.

[Alison laughs]

Wow. I feel so well taken care of.

[Jonathan] Good!

I'm just gonna go through your hair
after I have this product in it.

Jonathan, I'm so grateful.

[Jonathan] Ah.
I'm so grateful for the work that you do.

[Alison laughs]

[gentle music playing]

[Jonathan] Oh my God, are you...
Oh my God, queen.

Oh my God. I love you.
I'm sorry. I didn't... It's okay.

No one's just ever given this... attention.
[chuckles]

[Jonathan] Oh my God, honey.

You're giving me chills on my thighs.

Is this like the first time
you've slowed down enough

to, like, feel something in a long time?

To feel all this, yeah.

-[Jonathan] Yeah.
-[Alison] Yeah.

[Jonathan] Thanks for, like, letting me in
and embracing a little change moment.

It's not easy.

Alison has been in this place
of giving, giving, giving.

She has not stopped
and received really any love for herself.

It's been such a hard wall,
but I see that wall starting to cr*ck.

-Is it, like, grateful tears?
-No, it's good.

[Jonathan] Okay.

And I am seeing someone who is,

for the first time
in maybe her whole life,

taking the risk of connection.

You deserve
to celebrate yourself sometimes.

Thanks.

[Jonathan] Doesn't have to be on my level

'cause I see that I'm
on the very other end of the spectrum.

I'm on-steroids celebrating of the self,

but it's good for us to do it,
like, in a way that feels authentic to us.

♪ Energy ascending ♪

♪ Stellar expl*si*n ♪

♪ Vision got me peeking... ♪

How do you feel about,
like, a brighter lip?

We need to attract
the ladies, the gentlemen,

the theys, the thems, the hes, the shes.
We're trying to attract everybody.

I just feel like that smile on you,
honey, is, oh so pretty!

So I'm just like, do we need
to put a little, like, color on there?

You can try that.

I'm obsessed with, like, "Operation
Alison Get Her Toes in the Dating Pool,"

because I wanna see
what Alison's game is like.

♪ Now we're ready, voltage steady ♪

Basically, the trick is to use a darker
on the outside, lighter on the inside.

You can go like this.

And that'll blend.

[Jonathan] Gorgeous!

Oh my God.

Am I biromantic now?

[laughs]

Okay, so I'm gonna show you the new you.
Ready?

-[Alison] Don't know if I'm ready.
-Three...

-[Alison laughs] I'm not ready!
-Three, two, one.

Oh my God!

Oh my God.

-It looks like I have eyes now.
-You have full-on eyes.

Wow.

I love what you... Yeah, look at this hair.

[Jonathan] It's pretty, right?

-Yeah.
-[Jonathan] Do you like it?

I love... I love it, yeah.

You're amazing.

So... let's do an experiment.

-I have a...
-You have a friend too.

So why don't we just meet my nice friend

and see how you feel
about being Alison with eyelashes on

after you meet them?

Okay.

Whoo! You look so good!

That's very kind of you.

-Yeah.
-Very nice.

Alison is a gorgeous biromantic woman
in the millennium,

and her sexuality was in the Sahara.

-What kind of lawyer are you?
-Social justice movement.

Oh my God.
That's so cool that you do that.

That's my work, but I like
to do fun things too that aren't work.

And now we're in an oasis of love.

-Like what?
-I love paddling. I have a kayak.

-[Pierce] Me too!
-And camping, and like...

I love fishing.

[Pierce] Me too!

-Honey, I am seeing sparks fly. Ah!
-I think we're probably on the same page.

♪ If you want it, come and give it up ♪

♪ That's how you gonna get my love ♪

♪ Don't let it get carried away ♪

[keyboard clacking]

♪ If you want it, come and give it up ♪

♪ That's how you gonna get my love ♪

♪ Go on, get carried away! ♪

[horn honks]

-They're here, everyone! They're here!
-[Bobby] Oh, coming!

[Jonathan] Ooh!

[Karamo] Come on!

[Antoni vocalizing]

-Ready for it?
-I think so.

-Let's go make sure the kids are up.
-[guys] Hi!

I didn't crash the car!

-[guys cheer]
-Good job, Tan.

-[Bobby] Okay. Are you ready?
-[Alison] Yes!

[Bobby] Okay. Come on in.

Oh my gosh! [laughs]

What?

[bright music playing]

-This is your new chapel.
-Oh my God.

[crying] This is awesome.

Oh my God! [laughs]

-This is a happy cry, yes?
-[Alison] Yes.

Okay, yay. [laughs]

Oh my God! [laughs]

-I love the wall.
-[Bobby] Texture accent wall.

Oh my gosh.

I wanted to give you a spot where you
could have your moments and do your art,

and I wanted to separate church and sex.

Okay. [laughs]

[Bobby] This is your chapel.
This is church.

-Oh my gosh.
-Isn't that such a nice feeling?

This is incredible.

[Bobby] You ready to see more?

[Alison] I think so.

Whoa! [laughs]

-This is awesome.
-[Tan] So nice.

All right, everybody.

Oh my God! [laughs]

My bedroom!

Look at the wall! Look at the curtains!

[Bobby] We got you an Avocado mattress,
because it's sustainable and organic.

-I know how important that is to you.
-[Jonathan] Yes, queen!

It's incredible.

Oh my gosh.

[Tan] And I love the chest of drawers.

-[Alison] Yeah.
-[Karamo] Will you still label these?

[Alison] No. I think labels will make 'em
not look so pretty.

Wow! And look at this light.

[Bobby] It's pretty, eh?

So now, you've got
your own little office in here.

-[Alison] Oh my gosh! Wow.
-[Tan] It feels really calming.

[laughs]

[Bobby] We got you a brand-new Microsoft
computer with their Microsoft 365

so you can write your memoir.

[Karamo] Good job, Bob.

[Alison] "Alison's Next Chapter."

This is incredible.

-So beautiful, Bobby. Thank you.
-Thank you.

Oh my gosh. Look how bright it is!

Look how big it looks!

[Tan] Good! We got a bunch of dresses

that will hopefully
make you feel beautiful!

Wow, Tan.

And then we got a bunch of tops
that are a little more low cut,

but when they are busy like this,

it's gonna do
what you're wanting to achieve.

You are fun.
Like, you're so giggly and playful.

I want your clothes to be fun also.

[Jonathan] I've never been
so nervous in my life.

Kids! You ready?

-Yeah!
-Yeah, we are!

I've got a new friend.

Who's your new friend, Tanny?

This is Alison 2.0.

Right. Alison!

-[Alison] Yeah!
-[Tan] Won't you join us, my love?

-[Antoni] What?!
-Oh my gosh!

-[laughing]
-[guys] Wow!

-[Jonathan] Look at that!
-[Karamo] Cute!

You really navigated those stairs well!

[Alison] I'm working on it.

[Tan] Alison
doesn't look like Sister Alison anymore.

-[guys] No!
-[Alison] I have a body.

And this stuff, it's just life-changing.

I could see wearing this,
walking into an event,

walking out of an event, going on a date.

You're working it.

We still got it, Tan,
after all these years!

Ah!

[Antoni] We're too far.
Can we get closer to you?

So, Alison, this has been, I know,
a shockingly unique week for you.

I've grown a lot this week,
and you really pushed me.

Like, each of you really, really pushed me
and made me uncomfortable

and, like, helped me grow
through that discomfort.

[Karamo] When we first walked in,
you were like,

"This is what it's gonna be.
This is how I'm gonna label it,"

and then you just let your guard down.

You helped me, like,
notice my feelings more.

I can be analytical, and that's good
for a lot of the work I do,

but I can't bring that
in, like, my personal relationships.

-Amen. Love that.
-You gave me some good language.

And I'm really grateful.

I just feel so much more confident
and comfortable.

[Karamo] Which leads me to...

Tonight I want you to choose someone
you met this week

so that you can have a moment to have fun.

[Jonathan] I've never been
so nervous in my life.

Was there one person in particular
that you felt like,

"Oh, okay. I could go
for a drink with that person?"

-And this is not the pressure of a date.
-Yeah. No.

-It's just...
-Just a hangout.

Maybe.

-Yeah, maybe?
-[Alison laughs]

Well, then we won't press you anymore.

-Okay.
-We love you.

-I love y'all.
-[Jonathan] Yeah!

-[Bobby] We're huggers.
-[Jonathan] We're Tan's biceps! Yay.

-[Alison laughs]
-[Bobby] That's nice!

♪ A tip to always go ♪

♪ Now get up, follow my lead, yeah ♪

♪ What you really need to know ♪

♪ Is feeling good is what I need ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm not what you got ♪

♪ What you got is guaranteed... ♪

[Jonathan] I say, "Demi."
You say, "Sexual!"

-Demi!
-[Antoni] Sexual!

-[Jonathan] Demi!
-Sexual!

I don't know about you, but I am pretty
sure that Alison is gonna choose Gary.

Ebony. I'm very confident.

-Gary.
-[Antoni] She's gonna choose Ebony.

It's Ebony! She's picking Ebony.

-Peirce.
-Gary. Gary. Gary. Gary. Gary. Gary.

I think Paige was pretty special.

-Shall we go see?
-[guys] Yeah!

She's gonna choose Paige!

Let's see what she's got going on.

[Tan] I love
that she's exploring her closet

and hopefully gonna choose something
that's more age appropriate.

Also date appropriate.
She wants to look cute on the date.

-Yeah.
-Yeah.

[Tan] Love the yellow.

-The yellow looks really good on her.
-[Tan] Great. She chose a jean!

[Jonathan] Tan, controversial.

How do you feel
about a full tuck versus a French tuck?

-Are you triggered? Are you feeling good?
-This one makes sense for a full tuck.

Get him smelling salts! He might pass out!

[Tan] Ooh, she looks great!

[Bobby] So good.

[Jonathan] Honey, Jesus loves jeans.

[guys laugh]

♪ Dun, dun, dun, dun ♪

♪ Dun, dun, dun, dun ♪

♪ Da, da, da, da ♪

♪ I like the way that you're look at me ♪

♪ I like the way it falls in between ♪

♪ Getting lost, get lost in me ♪

♪ Take a ride
And you'll start to believe... ♪

-Who's she gonna pick?
-She'll choose Paige.

-Is it gonna be my person?
-[Tan] Come on, Paige. Come on, Paige.

[Antoni] Who's coming out?

Who is it? I'm dying!

♪ Dun, dun, da, da, da, da ♪

[Tan] Oh!

-It's my girl, Paige!
-[Karamo] She's beautiful.

-Paige!
-I knew it!

-[Paige] Hey,
-Hi, Paige.

How are you? Good to see you again.
Thanks for coming.

I gave her those highlights for nothing!

[laughs]

-Look at you in pants.
-I'm getting used to wearing pants.

[Antoni] Paige is cute.

-Paige is really cute.
-Yeah.

-I like the tattoos.
-Me too.

She really seemed to like Alison.
She seemed respectful.

So how was... So how was drag day?

-It was good. I had a lot of fun.
-Uh-huh.

-Yeah.
-Thank you very much.|

[waiter] What would you like to drink?

Can you do a orange juice and cranberry
with vodka?

-Yeah, sure. Of course.
-Yes!

You look great. Cute dress.

I normally am, like, denim and a T-shirt.

-And you're good to go.
-Yeah.

The way they're smiling at each other,
the way Alison is engaging, is lovely.

-She seems open.
-[Karamo] Yeah, she seems very open.

The fact that she's now
just letting someone be

and not expecting them
to meet all these things,

that's why she's open
to having a good time.

And wherever this goes, like,
as long as she's getting the reps in,

I think that's incredibly important.

-Yes.
-Good dates, bad dates, all of them.

[Alison] I've grown a lot this week.

Just, like letting go

and just knowing that, like, I'm capable
of learning how to receive love

in addition to always giving it.

Everyone should feel worthy
of treating themselves well

and loving themselves.

I mean, the whole dating thing
is still all, like, really new to me.

Do you need, like,
a welcome manual or anything?

A welcome manual. That would be awesome!
Can you write a welcome manual for me?

Do you need a sponsor?
I can assign a lesbian sponsor for you.

[Alison] That would be awesome.
I will gladly take a manual.

[laughs]

The thing I hope most for Alison,

as she starts this new chapter
in her life,

is that she's present
and open to the moment.

And to lead with her heart
and not just her mind.

[Antoni] By putting her guard down,
whenever she meets somebody,

whether it's romantic,
professional, personal,

it allows you to just go in
and learn something about them.

You might learn something about yourself
in the process as well.

So, for all the Alisons of the world,

I hope you take a b*at
to restore your heart and soul.

[Alison laughs] Cheers.

-[Bobby] We're just little matchmakers.
-To being open to opportunity and love.

To surviving rejection!

[Bobby laughs]

[Jonathan] To Peirce! Yes.

[guys laugh]

[Jonathan] To Peirce.

[upbeat drum music playing]

Welcome to the Sazerac House,

home of the Sazerac cocktail,

a New Orleans tradition since the 1800s.

So you start with two rocks glasses.

In the first glass, add ice

and set aside to chill.

In the second glass,

add two to three dashes
of Peychaud's bitters

to a crushed sugar cube
or one teaspoon of simple syrup.

Add a jigger of Sazerac rye whiskey.

Add some ice.

And stir.

In the chilled glass,
rinse with a splash of Herbsaint,

or if you prefer,
you can use its cousin, absinthe.

And, finally, end with a twist.

The Sazerac, a New Orleans original.

Santé.

["When the Saints Go Marching In" playing]