- Previously on
RuPaul's Drag Race...
You'll be competing as
a couple...of frenemies.
- ♪ I do it so much ♪
- ♪ I do it so much ♪
- ♪ I do it so much better ♪
- ♪ So much b... ♪
sh*t.
I'm not gonna be in the bottom
two because Sharon is off.
- ♪ I'm the best ♪
- ♪ At being a loser ♪
- Oh!
- [laughing]
- Ow!
Dida, you bitch!
- Thank you.
- Condragulations,
Willam and Latrice Royale.
Phi Phi O'Hara
and Sharon Needles,
you are up for elimination.
Ladies, it's come to a point
in the competition
where every decision
is a painful one.
Willam, it has come
to my attention
that you have broken the rules.
Your actions have consequences.
Willam, I have to ask you
to leave the competition
immediately.
Sashay away.
And tonight...
the queens
hit the campaign trail...
It's time to make
some "herstory"...
And "Frock the Vote".
- I'm gonna fit the capitol
with an up-do.
Up...do.
- With extra-special
guest judges,
columnist Dan savage
and Absolut's Jeffrey Moran.
- [cheering]
- The winner of
RuPaul's Drag Race
will receive a lifetime supply
of NYX cosmetics,
a one-of-a-kind trip
courtesy of ALandCHUCK.travel,
headline Logo's Drag Race Tour
featuring Absolut Vodka...
cocktails perfected...
and a cash prize of $100,000.
And may the best woman win.
- Ohh.
Cluck, cluck, top five.
- Top five, b*tches, top five.
- Good morning.
- It's a good day,
because Willam is gone,
finally gone,
and I'm so excited.
♪ Bye! ♪
- What is that?
- "I showed my ass a lot,
so here's one for the road."
- That is her ass.
- Ewww!
- That's nasty.
She showed that she was an ass.
- Yeah.
Willam broke the rules,
so bye, boo, bye.
- Good-bye, shady bearded lady!
- [cheering]
- Whoo!
Good-bye, shady bearded lady.
- Y'all are crazy.
- f*ck that bitch.
♪ Willam 's gone ♪
♪ Willam 's gone ♪
- I feel bad for Willam.
It's a really bummer
the way it ended for him.
- All right, Willam.
I mean, this is the only advice
I can give you
in your drag career.
[all laughing]
- Shave it.
- Shave your face!
- I got to admit, though,
I'm kind of jealous.
There's nothing more punk rock
than being kicked off.
- No, bitch.
No, no, no.
Not off RuPaul's Drag Race,
bitch.
That was the walk of shame,
bitch.
- Yeah.
- No shade, no tea, you guys.
Like, seriously, could you
believe that sh*t happened?
For once in my life,
I'm speechless.
No one's ever been kicked off
in the history of
RuPaul's Drag Race.
I'm gagged.
- When RuPaul came out,
it was like this.
- Hold on, hold on,
we can do this.
I'll be Willam, you be Ru.
All right, I'll be Willam.
- [laughing]
- [imitating RuPaul]
I've consulted with the judges.
- Blech!
- But the final decision
is up to me.
- Blech!
- [all laughing]
- Phi Phi O'Hara,
Sharon Needles,
you're both safe.
Sharon, you were better,
but you're both safe.
- Blech!
- [all laughing]
- You are f*cking evil.
[siren wails]
- Ooh, girl!
- Speak of the devil.
- You've got shemail.
Attention all teabaggers.
- Uh!
- Read my lips.
According to a recent
stripper poll,
America's next drag superstar
needs to pull herself up
by her bra straps,
stand tall in her platforms,
and be the life of every party.
'Cause honey,
nobody likes an empty box.
- No, ma'am.
- I'm RuPaul, and I don't
approve this message.
[engine zooms]
- Stripper poll?
- Hello, hello, hello!
- [all greeting]
- Ladies, America's
next drag superstar
has to stand for something,
or she'll fall for anything.
Now, for today's mini-challenge,
you need to stand tall
by decorating a pair
of platform shoes.
Take them from plain to par-tay.
To provide you
with some inspiration,
please help me welcome
Absolut Vodka guru
Jeffrey Moran.
[clapping]
- Hey, Ru.
Gentlemen.
What you see here before you
are some great classic cocktails
that will be the inspiration
for today's challenge.
At Absolut,
we've been celebrating
the gay and lesbian community
for 30-plus years.
So you can imagine we've thrown
some really great parties.
- Dida Ritz, your inspiration
is an Absolut Collins.
Latrice Royale, Absolut Punch.
Phi Phi O'Hara,
Absolut Grapevine.
Sharon Needles,
Absolut Berri Sour.
Chad Michaels,
Absolut Greyhound.
- Love it. Thank you.
- Okay, ladies,
you'll have 20 minutes
to create platforms that look
good enough to drink.
Ready, set...
go.
- You got the good stuff.
- You don't even know
what you're talking about.
- Oh, man, this is not sticking.
- Jiggly, quit
complaining over there.
- [scoffs]
Needles.
- What?
- What are you doing?
- What the f*ck
does it look like I'm doing?
- How's it going for you?
- Oh, fine.
I had all the accessories
I needed
to convey the plight
of the American Indians.
Though I wish I had
some poker chips.
- Ow!
- All right, ladies, time's up.
Let's see your platforms.
First up, Dida Ritz.
- I was inspired by the
Victorian age,
so I took from Marie Antoinette,
and she's a big woman
on shopping and shoes.
She would want a fierce pair
of shoes like this.
- Sort of if Marie Antoinette
were a stripper.
- She would wear these.
I know she would.
- Latrice Royale.
Absolut Punch platforms.
- Well, my shoes are inspired
by the nightclub.
That's where everybody's
getting their party on
and their drink on.
And you might see a girl
hanging from the ceiling,
wearing these shoes.
- Oh.
Next up, Phi Phi O'Hara.
Absolut Grapevine platforms.
- You know I'm designing for
your new iron fist line, right?
- Oh, wonderful.
- Yeah.
I really wanted to take you to,
like, an exotic
vacation hot spot.
Like for all those, you know,
women that are at home,
they can just put on their shoes
and have a cocktail,
and bam, they're on vacation.
- [chuckles]
All right, next up,
Sharon Needles.
- My Berri Sour platforms
are inspired by red rocks
of the southwestern America,
and I'm serving you
some Navajo realness.
And we have these
dream catchers in the back.
I prefer nightmare catchers,
but these do the trick.
- These are platform shoes
for the real "nava-hos".
- [cackling]
- I thought we were
supposed to design a shoe,
not just slab on a piece of fur.
- May I see
the dessert platter next?
- Um, yes.
Let me get you a dessert.
Are you guys good on coffee?
- Good on coffee right now.
- Good on coffee? Yeah.
- Everything tasting all right?
- Yeah.
- Next up, Chad Michaels.
- This is for the girl on the go
on New Year's Eve to wear,
and she's got her Greyhound
in the foot to go.
- Oh, now, what makes that
Greyhound in the foot?
- That's grapefruit juice.
- Of course. Okay.
- Absolutely.
Need a little vitamin C.
You don't want scurvy, you know.
- No, no, not again.
I'll never go
through that again.
- [chuckles]
- Ladies, you all stepped it up,
but one of you really walked
all over the competition.
The winner of today's
mini-challenge is...
Phi Phi O'Hara.
- Yeah! Hot dog.
- Condragulations, Phi Phi.
I am head over heels
for those shoes right there.
And thank you, Jeffrey Moran.
- Of course, anytime.
- We will see you tomorrow
on the main stage.
- Look forward to it.
Good luck.
- Bye. Thank you.
- Speaking of platforms,
I want to find out
what America's
next drag superstar
really stands for.
And this being an election year,
it's time to make
some "herstory".
I, RuPaul,
would like to announce
the candidacy
of Phi Phi O'Hara, Dida Ritz,
Sharon Needles, Latrice Royale,
and Chad Michaels
to become the first
drag president
of the United States of America.
For this week's main challenge,
you'll face the nation
in a "Frock the Vote"
presidential debate.
This is your chance to prove
that you have the kind of
charisma, uniqueness, nerve,
and talent it takes to be
the leader of the free world.
Gentlemen, start your engines.
And may the best woman...win.
- To prepare for the debate,
we have to do
an opening statement,
a closing statement.
We have to get in drag.
We have to come up with slogans.
So there's a lot
involved in this challenge.
- [snickers]
- I'm gonna get in trouble.
- Put her away.
- [laughing] What?
- Put her away.
- No way. Why would I?
- Why would you?
- I'm bringing back
the funk to America, honey.
I decided to do a
non-traditional character
and do something
a little bit edgier,
a little bit more dangerous,
take a risk.
How you doing?
- Two pink afros on a brown wig.
For him to pull that piece of
crap out and put it on his head,
like, for a presidential debate.
- I'm gonna give you lady pimp.
- For today's main challenge,
we're running for president...
in drag.
- It's like we're back in
school.
♪ La la la la la ♪
So...
♪ Bow bow bow bow-wow ♪
The workroom is insanely quiet
right now.
And, like, everybody is just
thinking so hard
about their stuff,
and I'm just having a good time.
[belching]
[still belching]
[sighs loudly]
- I'm having the worst
brain fart right now.
- [belching]
[still belching]
Excuse me.
- I'm so confused.
[laughs]
This challenge is so tough.
I'm just struggling
with coming up with ideas.
Politics is not my comfort zone.
- I get it.
- I'm done.
- Work.
- Girl.
- Whew.
- You better come for it,
miss Phi Phi.
- I feel confident
in this challenge
because I always like to argue.
Y'all didn't take
debate classes in school?
- Uh-uh.
- I did.
I wanted to be a lawyer
when I was younger.
- That's why you're so
confrontational all the time.
- I just have to be right.
- Even when you're wrong.
- Bitch, I'm never wrong.
- You're wrong right now.
- Learn it.
- Are you writing answers
to your questions already?
- Yeah, aren't you done?
I mean, I took debate, like,
for seven, eight years.
- [laughs]
- And I'm a lawyer,
so hurry up and get it done.
- Hello, hello, hello.
- Hi, Ru.
- Hi, Ru.
- Ladies, I hope you're decent,
because we have company.
Journalist, political pundit,
and founder of the
It Gets Better Project,
Dan Savage.
- [contestants cheer]
- Awesome.
- Hello, candidates.
- Now, Dan's here to help you
prep for the big debate
and serve up
some political realness.
Hey, Latrice.
- Hey, Ru. How are you?
- Have you come up
with a campaign slogan?
- Of course.
"Everyone needs
a piece of Latrice."
- What about
"Peace with Latrice"?
- Ooh, that's very good.
So what is your platform?
- Well, I want more funding
for HIV and AIDS patients
who are on disability.
- But voters right now
are gonna ask you,
okay, if you're gonna make more
money available for that,
what are you gonna cut?
- Right.
- Oh, something gotta go?
- Yeah.
Like the wars.
- The w*r, yeah.
Politics, for real, for real.
This is not easy.
- Now, it's important
that you get your message across
and that you're not vague.
It has to be direct.
- Right.
- All right, Latrice,
we're gonna let you
get back to your campaign,
all right?
- Thank you.
- Break a lash.
- I will.
- Hi, Phi Phi.
- Hi, Ru.
- You're running for president?
- I am.
- What's your slogan?
- Um, "you can always Kiki
with your girl Phi Phi."
- You're offering to have sex
with all Americans?
- [laughs]
- Not Kai-Kai.
- Oh, okay, I'm confused.
- Kiki, yeah.
- Kiki means, like, you know,
like, we gossip with each other.
- Oh, okay.
- It rhymes with my name,
and it's easy to remember.
- But it's easy to
misunderstand, like I did.
So you might want to have
a couple of alternates.
- So what is your platform?
- Make America pretty.
You know, build warehouses, so
that way a bunch of drag queens
can make designer
human hair wigs.
- So you're providing jobs
or you're providing wigs?
- Both.
- Okay, so it's socialism
for drag queens, then.
The government
will give you your wig.
- Yeah.
I'm gonna be
the drag president, so...
- Listen, you have
to make it something
that really speaks
to every American.
You have to be really direct.
I'm gonna let you
get back to work, okay?
All right, thanks, Phi Phi.
Hi, Dida.
- Hi, Ru.
- You doing your homework?
- I'm trying.
- Now, it's important to know
what you stand for.
What is your platform?
My platform is really about...
for like, queens
who are kind of underpaid.
We are stars too,
and this is a job,
and it deserves the same respect
as any normal performer.
- Why should someone
who's not a drag queen
vote for you for president?
- That I haven't come up with.
I still have
some thinking to do.
- Do you vote, personally?
- I do, I do, I vote.
I just...politics
is kind of something
that's hard for me to discuss
because it can get personal.
It can get very ugly,
and I hate that, so...
- Which is why it's important
for us to pay attention,
because politicians are gonna
demonize sexual minorities.
And if they can count on us
checking out,
they're likelier to win
and then get into office,
where they can really
do us harm.
- Right.
Well, you just read me.
I'm not gonna lie.
- Just make sure that it really
comes from the heart.
- Okay.
- Good luck.
- He lit my complete
campaign on fire.
That's what Dan Savage did.
I feel f*cked.
- Candidate Chad Michaels.
- Hey, RuPaul.
- I want to hear
all about the campaign.
- Well, I'm just gonna have
some fun, Ru.
- Yes?
- So I'm creating a crazy lady.
- Oh, boy.
- For my campaign, and her name
is Lady Pimp Michaels.
- So what are your
campaign slogans?
- My issues are mandatory rhythm
and funk lessons
for all school kids,
because we've really lost
the b*at in this country.
- Are there any real issues
you want to inject?
Do you have a real issue?
- I haven't really put
any real issues into this.
'Cause I want to make this fun.
- Make sure the constituency
can relate to you.
- I get you.
- Which is gonna be a problem
if that's your outfit.
- That's a pantsuit.
What are you talking about?
- All right, thanks, Chad.
- Bye, guys.
- Sharon Needles,
the first drag president.
What campaign slogans
have you written?
- Um, some of my campaign
slogans are,
"America's government
needs a sex change."
- Well, what does that mean?
- Well, it means, you know,
that it's time that, you know,
not just a man or a woman
is in office, but a man-woman...
- Oh.
- You know, is in the office.
Someone who can play
both fields.
- Now, are you planning
any negative campaigning?
- I'm not going to create
negative att*ck ad campaigns
because I was bullied
my entire childhood,
and that's just not
the platform I'm going to be,
uh, working with.
I want to talk to the people.
- But everybody says that
till they're down in the polls.
- Well, I enjoy being down
on a poll, so...
I mean, that's just something
I can handle, I think.
- Okay, good for you.
- I know you have
a lot of work to do,
so I'm gonna let you
get back to it.
See you at the debate.
- Uh-huh.
- All right.
All right, ladies.
Remember, these are tough times.
And the future of this great
nation depends on you.
So don't f*ck it up.
Let's go.
- Good evening, and welcome
to "Frock the Vote" 2012.
Give us 22 minutes,
and we'll give you an erection
for the election.
I am your moderator, RuPaul.
And I'm here
with my esteemed colleagues
Michelle Visage and Dan Savage.
Welcome, candidates.
Tonight your answers
will be timed.
The yellow light
is a ten-second warning.
The red light
means your time is up.
If you go over,
the secret service is here
to escort you from the building.
Let's kick things off
with opening statements.
Chad Michaels.
- Good evening,
ladies and gentlemen.
My name is Chad
the Lady Pimp Michaels.
I am from California,
more specifically
the Shady Acres trailer park
on Doheny between
Weho and Beverly hills.
You might also remember me
as one of the first
transgendered dancers
on the Soul Train.
How you doin'?
[buzzer sounds]
What I plan to do is...
- Time is up, miss Michaels.
- The red light?
Shoes.
- Dida Ritz, same question.
- I am here,
and my name is Dida Ritz.
I'm here representing...or
running for wig party candidate.
And I'm here to talk
about the big "C" word today.
Change.
Change for the Ritz.
- Phi Phi O'Hara.
- Howdy, y'all.
I'm just a small
southern girl from Texas.
You can see me
on the bestseller's list,
Vote for Phi Phi.
I just want everybody to know
that you can always Kiki
with your girl Phi Phi.
- Sharon Needles.
- Ladies and gentlemen
and everyone in between,
my name is Sharon Needles.
For a long time,
this government has been
in dire need of a sex change,
and I'm just the drag queen
to perform that operation.
I'm Sharon Needles,
for sharing responsibilities.
- Latrice Royale.
- Good evening.
I am Latrice Royale.
Large and in charge,
chunky yet funky.
My fellow Americans,
everyone needs peace
with Latrice.
- All right, candidates.
The first question of the
evening from Dan Savage.
- Miss O'Hara, what experiences
from your past
make you the best candidate
to be America's first
drag president?
- Well, I have
lots of friends already,
like, in the government thing.
Ooh, like Sarah Palin.
And...and, like, when we used to
play "Spot That Russian!"
across the room,
like, my backyard or...
or when I was in Texas, we used
to go cow-tipping in drag.
- Oh.
[inaudible]
I'm scared for her.
- Yee-ha.
- Miss Royale?
- Coming from hum...
humble beginnings,
I was raised as a poor
black child in Compton.
I know what hard work,
dedication,
and perseverance means.
- All right, our next question,
from Michelle Visage.
- Miss Michaels,
as the first drag president,
how would you
redecorate the White House?
- I'm gonna paint
that bitch pink,
and I'm gonna fit the capitol
with an up-do.
Up...do.
Green light, look.
Yellow.
Bam, red.
[buzzer sounds]
- Chad has this, like,
master pimp thing going on.
I don't understand,
like, his storyline.
I mean, in a debate,
what is he debating about?
- [smacks lips]
- Dida Ritz.
- Well, first, I see everything
being Ralph Lauren.
I'm a big fan of Ralph Lauren
furniture,
Ralph Lauren paint,
Ralph Lauren rugs.
The drapery, Ralph Lauren.
- Girl, really?
- I would love
Ralph Lauren everything.
Thank you.
- Miss O'Hara.
- Hi.
- If you won the wig party
nomination,
which one of these queens
would you choose
as your running mate, and why?
- Well, being this time period,
I think it's so great
that the help can sit there
and compete alongside with me.
So I'd definitely like
to say my help, Dida Ritz,
and the other help I had,
Latrice Royale.
[laughs brightly]
Yee-ha.
- Did she just call me
"the help"?
I don't even do windows.
- I'm from Compton, bitch.
I'll whip yo' ass.
- Miss Ritz, should drag queens
be allowed to marry?
- I truly believe drag queens
should be allowed
to get married,
whether a drag queen
wants to marry a drag queen
or a drag queen
wants to marry a dog.
Change for the Ritz.
- Sharon Needles.
- Drag queens should most
definitely
be able to get married.
They should also have the right
to get divorced.
I too would like to be
an unhappy married woman
and then receive
my alimony checks
to pay for my young lovers
and vacations.
Thank you, Dan.
- Our next question
from Michelle Visage.
- Miss Michaels,
How would you explain
why drag is important
to voters who aren't
familiar with drag?
- Me being the first
transgendered Soul Train dancer,
we need to get back
to basic family values.
We've forgotten all of our
pertinent dance moves.
We got to get back
to the sprinkler.
All right?
We got to get back
to the running man.
Oh, wait...
- That was the Roger Rabbit.
- That's the Roger Rabbit.
- Yeah.
- Look, I don't got nothing
to say about it,
I just...we did what we had to do
to, you know, to get by.
Look, yellow...
red.
- Miss Ritz,
unemployment is up,
higher than it's
ever been before.
How do you plan to put
more drag queens to work?
- Basically, to give them
more opportunities
to do what they love to do
by performing.
And no more of this $75 or $100
of bookings.
Queens deserve coins.
Drag costs montey.
It costs money to look,
well, this beautiful.
Thank you.
- Miss Royale,
politics can get so ugly.
Can you give us an example
of a time when you made peace
with someone you didn't
see eye to eye with?
- About five minutes ago.
I looked across at Miss O'Hara
and realized that she was ugly.
- Oh.
- And I'm at peace with that.
- [snickers]
- [laughing quietly]
- Miss O'Hara.
- Oh, howdy.
- How do you represent
the future of drag
in the U.S. of "Heyyy!"
- Well, first,
it's U.S. of "How-day!"
[laughs]
So I'm representing all, like,
the little southern girls
that like to warsh our drag,
like,
and hang 'em up to dry.
Oh, and then when we get,
like, our jewelry
and we like to polish rocks
and make beautiful jewelry
'cause remember, if you ain't
got that bling bling,
you probably didn't get it
from Phi Phi.
[laughs]
♪ Ah! ♪
- You okay?
- Oh, I'm doing line dancing.
- All right, it's time to hear
the candidates'
closing statements.
Let's begin
with Miss Chad Michaels.
- At the end of the day,
I just want, you know,
to put someone down in my chair,
give them a good,
good scalp massage,
send them out,
and make them feel
like an American citizen.
Look, yellow.
One more time.
Red.
Those freaking lights.
Yellow, red.
- Miss Dida Ritz.
- I must say that I have a lot.
I have a lot
that I want to change.
Change for Ritz.
That's my slogan.
Thank you.
- Dida is coming off...like, her
answers are very "who cares?"
There's no passion,
no fire, no nothing.
- Latrice Royale.
- With my plans in effect,
we can look forward
to a fun-loving America,
an America where everyone
could be queen for a day.
Thank you.
- Candidate Sharon Needles.
- Ladies and gentlemen,
I'm not a ivy-league,
good old ladyboy.
I'm just a girl of the streets.
And that's where I learned
the American people.
From the dark black soil of Iowa
to the punk rockers
of Colorado...
[My Country 'Tis of Thee plays]
To the hippies of southern
California
to the blue-collar boys
of Pittsburgh,
I've walked in every single one
of their shoes.
I am of the people
and for the people.
I am Sharon Needles,
sharing responsibilities
for a better world.
- Miss Phi Phi O'Hara.
This evening,
you get the last word.
- I wanna live in a world
that...vote for Phi Phi...
that...that, you know,
hos can be pimps finally and...
vote for Phi Phi...
and I just want to say...
vote for Phi Phi...
where, you know,
Jesus loves you.
And I didn't have a big enough
heart to cover you.
But I just want to say, America,
don't be a drag.
Yeah.
Oh, I mean be a drag.
Ha, ha, ha!
Howdy.
I won.
- I did find Phi Phi
annoying tonight.
You gotta know when to quit.
[snorts]
[sniffs]
- Oh.
- Thank you, candidates.
That concludes our
"Frock the Vote" debate.
Remember to come early
on election day.
Oh, and don't forget to vote.
Good night, everybody.
- Walk this way.
- Hoo!
- Another day,
another dead diva, honey.
- Yesterday we had
our presidential debate.
And today we have to get ready
for the inaugural ball.
- Don't politics seem
like a drag queen
dressing room nowadays?
- Basically.
It's mudslinging.
It's not cute.
- I mean, I know yesterday
was a drag competition,
but I kind of wish we
could've used it a little more
as a platform
to talk about things that,
you know, we really wish
we could see changed.
- But, you know what?
This is Drag Race,
and it's, like...
- I'm sorry.
That's how I feel like.
I'm not trying to cut you off,
but that is exactly
my frustration.
This is Drag Race.
This is not the news.
- It's always been my policy,
especially, like,
when I'm working at shows,
you don't mix drag and politics.
I'm out to entertain people
and make them feel good
and not to spread my political
beliefs at the gay bar.
- I mean, the reality
of the fact is,
is Dan Savage is a comedic
political and sex advice writer
who is now taking
responsibility in this world
to try and, you know,
make it better.
I didn't have a Dan Savage
when I was in high school,
and I got it bad.
- Dan Savage
and all he does for, you know,
as an advocate and all that,
it's...it's great.
That's not me...that's Dan.
- We are given an opportunity
that no other drag queen
is given,
and that's a platform
to actually talk about things...
- And I agree with that,
and when I had that platform
to be able to speak,
when I had...
- When I was a kid,
I didn't have a Dan Savage.
- I felt like he trashed me.
Coming in here that serious
about something that was
supposed to be drag-related
and fun at the same time,
mixing views
and important issues
that are going on in the world...
- Right.
- Calm down.
I'm not a really big
fan of politics
because of how ugly it can get.
It doesn't take all that
screaming and hollering
to change the world.
- Did you guys ever run
for anything in school?
- No, I didn't.
- I ran for student council.
- I never did
'cause I didn't want
to really draw
any attention to myself.
I just thought that I would get,
like, harassed more.
- I was the only kid in my
school that,
you know, would say
that I was gay, so...
- Right.
- And, like, I wasn't just gay.
I was, like, gay and weird.
- Right.
- And I got bullied bad,
and I never told my parents
about it.
- I would always tell
the school, and, like,
they would all say, you know,
"Ignore it. Ignore it."
- Kids bully
out of insecurities,
but teachers have
the responsibility to stand in
and help kids
that are getting it.
- I don't know
how things have changed
since I was in high school,
but teachers never really
stepped up to halt anything.
- Well, and as self-serving
as being a drag queen is,
it does feel nice to know that
just having this exposure that
we're having right now...
not to sound cliché, but if I
can just help one child...
- Oh, don't go there.
- Just one.
- [laughing]
- [dramatically] One child,
I've done my part.
- [laughing]
[RuPaul's Cover Girl playing]
- ♪ Cover girl ♪
♪ Put the bass in your walk ♪
♪ Head to toe ♪
♪ Let your whole body talk ♪
And what?
Hey, guys.
- Hey.
- Welcome to the main stage
of RuPaul's Drag Race.
My commander-in-queef,
Michelle Visage.
- Yes, we can,
palm beach princess.
- [chuckling]
And Santino Rice.
How are you?
- I'm good, Ru.
- And our super-delegate
from Absolut, Jeffrey Moran.
- Hello, darling.
- Always good to have you here.
Dan Savage.
Now, is this election
totally leotarded, or what?
- There are some total leotards
running in this election,
but I think
we're gonna be all right.
- This week,
our queens frocked the vote
in a heated presidential debate.
Tonight they're ready
to rock the runway,
dressed for the inaugural ball.
Gentlemen, start your engines,
and may the best woman win.
- Phi Phi O'Hara.
Call her miss Ross.
Her ballot box is stuffed.
- [laughs]
- It's bedazzled is what it is.
- It sure is.
- I want all eyes on me.
I'm serving them fresh,
young inaugural realness.
- She's got this election
all tied up.
- [laughs]
- Dida Ritz.
In all black.
She's courting the black vote.
- [laughs]
- I'm serving Breakfast at
Tiffany's realness.
I feel confident.
I feel so beautiful.
I love my hair, and I love
the color that I went with.
I feel like it is just right.
- President Morticia Addams?
- Ooh, is that a read, Dan?
- Chad Michaels!
- Don't you mean
Lady Bird Michaels?
- Very Marcus Bachmann.
- Ooh.
- In his dreams.
- Yes, in his dreams.
- [laughs]
- I feel like
that Republican lady
that the politician
can take to the ball,
but then take her back home
and she's a whore in bed.
- Very Republican lady.
"Gorge" Bush.
- "Gorge" bush, that's it.
[laughing]
- Latrice Royale.
Working the Beltway.
- Hey.
- You ain't ever
seen a president
look this sexy in your life.
I am throwing it, baby.
I want you to see all this shape
in its full glory.
- Now, that's what I call
a w*r chest.
- [laughs]
- She went that-a-way.
President Sharon Needles.
- Take me to your leader.
- Yes.
- [laughs]
That's what the Bush twins
wanted to wear
to the inaugural ball.
- I am serving
transparency realness
with a gown made
out of pantyhose
and hair
that hits the debt ceiling.
- I can see
right through her candidacy.
- Yes.
That dress shows off
her stimulus package.
- Welcome, ladies.
We've all watched your debate.
Now it's time for some political
analysis from our judges.
Let's start with Phi Phi O'Hara.
Tell us about
your inaugural gown.
- Well, I decided to wear white.
It's fun. It's elegant.
- Or was it just trying
to court the white people?
- [chuckles]
- Or the help?
- Ooh.
- I think it's so great
that the help can sit there
and compete alongside with me.
- I am clearly all about
political incorrectness,
but in order to land an
off-color joke,
it has to be funny, and that
joke came across as offensive.
And being a black woman,
I got a little offended.
- [laughs]
- People shouldn't get upset.
It's a joke,
'cause that's not me. Like...
- I thought your conservative,
Palinesque character
was really funny,
and I thought you did
a really great job.
You could have even taken it
further for my liking.
- But we all have to be
in on the joke.
It's the fart in church.
Not everyone
thinks that's funny.
It sometimes stinks.
- All right.
Next up, Dida Ritz.
- I thought you were
the weakest debater.
There was a lot of word salad
going on.
Just a bunch of words tossed up
into the air,
and it wasn't Tina Fey,
Sarah Palin hilarious.
It was just a little mystifying.
- Well, I tried
as hard as I could.
When questions were being asked
to me,
it was just kind of like
a deer in headlights moment.
It kind of makes me
uncomfortable,
to be honest with you.
- It may be uncomfortable
to talk politics, certainly,
but remember,
you're in the running
for America's next
drag superstar.
You exude beauty,
but we also want to know
that you're smart.
- Next up, Chad Michaels.
Hi, Chad.
- Hi, RuPaul.
- Tell me about the debate.
- This challenge
was intimidating to me.
Heavy debate and politics
are not my forte,
but I didn't come here
not to rise to the occasion,
so I created
the lady pimp character.
- I loved you in the debate,
and I loved your character.
Every four years,
there are joke candidates.
Newt Gingrich, Michele Bachmann.
- [laughs]
- And you were
sending those guys up.
You were just stellar.
- You're the only queen tonight
that really looks like you're
going to the inauguration.
- I see Mamie Eisenhower
up there,
and it hearkens back to a time
when the economy
wasn't in the f*cking toilet.
- [laughs]
All right, let's move on
to Miss Latrice Royale.
- Hi, Ru.
- What was your platform
and slogan?
- My slogan was, "Everyone
needs peace with Latrice."
And I had a couple of issues,
such as medication
and more funding
for HIV and AIDS patients.
- Did you say that
in the debate?
- I didn't get a chance
to bring it up.
- You say you didn't get
a chance to bring it up,
but there were actually
several opportunities
where the light
hadn't gone off yet,
so you had chances,
but they slipped
through your fingers somehow.
- Right.
- Right now, it looks more like
you're going to an awards show
rather than an inauguration.
It doesn't look expensive
or luxurious,
and, um, is that
your bra strap coming out...
- Right here?
- On this side?
- It made my titty look funny
if I pushed it down.
I can put it away for you.
- Girl, do not wear your bra
sticking out of a gown.
[imitates slap]
- Okay.
- It's better.
- All right.
Up next, Sharon Needles.
So tell me about
your inaugural gown.
- It's, uh,
it's a little futuristic
because, let's be honest,
a drag queen's not gonna be
president for 100 years,
so I had to think ahead.
- [laughs]
- It works. It all works.
The proportions work,
and the nude and the black,
and especially with the hair
you have tonight,
you hit the nail on the head.
- As far as your debate goes,
I just got that you were a woman
there who meant business
and you wanted to be heard.
I thought you got the message
across hilariously.
- I'll be honest, I got scared
as hell when you came out
on the runway tonight.
It was good and bad for me.
- Sharon Needles, is there
anything you'd like to say.
- Um, I love vodka, and, um...
[laughter]
I have responsibly enjoyed your
company many a night.
[laughter]
- Thank you, ladies.
I think we've heard enough.
While you enjoy
an Absolut cocktail
in the Interior
Illusions Lounge,
the judges and I will
deliberate.
[engine starting sound effect]
All right.
Just between us girls,
let's caucus,
starting with Phi Phi O'Hara.
- Phi Phi committed
to the Palinesque character.
Even if one or two of her jokes
fell flat,
I still thought
it was believable.
- I have respect for people
who should be committed
and are committed.
[laughter]
But it kind of flopped.
It didn't really hit the jokes.
So, for me, it misses the mark.
- All right...Dida Ritz.
Well, she said she was
intimidated by this challenge.
- But you have to go
out on a limb sometimes,
and you have to step
out of your comfort zone.
I mean, this is a competition.
- She's a beautiful queen.
- Beautiful.
- But there's always
something off about Dida.
She'll get the hair right
and the makeup right,
and then the body's off.
She'll get the body right,
and then the hair's like, what?
- Now, Michelle, any cons?
[laughter]
- I think she's fierce.
- No, she is, absolutely.
That's why she's here.
- Is she taking advantage
of being here?
Like, is she gonna take some
feedback and make some changes,
or just react defensively?
- Let's move on down the line
to Chad Michaels.
- I loved Chad
during the debate.
It wasn't just
this one-note character,
kind of like Phi Phi had.
Chad had a fully-realized
human being.
- And she was going
for yet another character.
I love a chameleon,
but we've seen a lot already,
and I'd love just a glimpse of
who the real Chad Michaels is.
- All right.
Latrice Royale.
- She didn't have a character.
She started strong,
and I was really in it with her,
and then I think
she lost her way.
- And why do we
have to tell somebody
to tuck their bra in their dre...
like, this is top five, people.
But they shouldn't be making
these mistakes at this point.
- That's true.
- But in the debate,
she was an imposing presence,
uh, and people look for that
in a president.
She had gravitas.
- There's an ointment
that will clear that up.
[laughter]
Sharon Needles.
- I love her aesthetic
and I love her sense of humor,
and I thought
it was really effective.
We're all here,
pretending that a drag queen
could get elected president,
and she walked out there
and said, "Not for 100 years."
- [laughs]
- And she's right.
- But you have to remember,
if you're gonna be America's
next drag superstar,
you don't want to do
shock value all the time.
- All right.
Silence!
Bring back...my girls.
Welcome back, ladies.
The votes have been tallied.
Chad Michaels,
you created
a candidate with character,
and you took the wig party
back to its roots.
You're safe.
- Thanks, guys.
- Sharon Needles, you took your
campaign to hell and back
and gave us much more
than politics as usual.
Condragulations, you are the
winner of this challenge...
[applause]
And you've won a $5,000
gift certificate
from interiorillusionshome.com.
- Thank you so much, and, um,
see you at the Iowa primary.
- Dida Ritz,
during the debates,
you cracked.
I'm sorry, my dear,
but you are up for elimination.
- Oh, my God.
I'm gagging.
The last thing I want is for me
to be in the bottom two.
- Phi Phi O'Hara, your
politically incorrect politician
was...polarizing.
Latrice Royale, your debating
skills were debatable.
Phi Phi O'Hara...
you're safe.
You may join the other girls.
Latrice Royale,
I'm sorry, my dear,
but you are up for elimination.
- [silently]
Okay.
I'm devastated,
but I'm not ready to go.
- Two queens stand before me.
Ladies, this is your last chance
to impress me
and save yourself
from elimination.
The time has come for you
to lip-synch for your life.
[dramatic music]
Good luck...
and don't f*ck it up.
- ♪ I've really got to use ♪
♪ My imagination ♪
♪ To think of good reasons ♪
♪ To keep on keepin' on ♪
- ♪ Keep on keepin' on ♪
- I am in heaven.
I am channeling Superstar.
♪ ♪
Honey, I feel
like I'm performing
to an arena of 20,000 people.
- ♪ Darkness all around me ♪
- This is old school.
- ♪ Blockin' out the sun ♪
- You need to understand where
these words are coming from
and get the emotion out,
and that's what I did.
- ♪ Such a sad, sad season ♪
- ♪ Sad, sad season ♪
- ♪ When a good love dies ♪
- ♪ When a good love dies ♪
- ♪ Ever since that day ♪
- ♪ Ever since that day ♪
- ♪ I woke up and found out ♪
♪ That you were gone ♪
- ♪ You're so strong ♪
♪ Got to keep on ♪
- Latrice was taking me
to church.
I mean, my skin started smoking.
She was good.
- ♪ To keep on pushin' on ♪
- ♪ I got to use ♪
- ♪ I said ♪
♪ I got to make the best of ♪
- ♪ The best of, best of ♪
- ♪ I've really got to use ♪
- ♪ I've got to use ♪
- ♪ A little imagination ♪
[cheers and applause]
[laughter]
♪ ♪
- Ladies,
I have made my decision.
Latrice Royale...
shantay, you stay.
You may join the other girls.
- Thank you, thank you.
Love you, baby.
- [whispering]
- Dida Ritz,
you are a young queen
with a lot of imagination,
so keep on keepin' on.
Now, sashay away.
- Thank you.
See you later.
I'm not upset.
I have no regrets at all.
This is only the beginning.
I've made it all the way
to top five,
and I am Drag Race royalty now.
- Ladies, as you know,
each week,
I consult with the judges,
but the final decision
is mine to make.
Once again, I've been criticized
for sending some of my queens
home too soon.
Michelle, I want you
to confer with Santino
to decide which one
of the eliminated queens
deserves to return...
[dramatic chord]
To this competition.
- [gasps]
- Oh, sh*t.
Here we go again.
- No!
Bitch, top four.
No mo' hos.
- Will it be Alisa summers,
Lashauwn Beyond, the Princess,
Madame LaQueer,
Li'l Kenya Michaels,
Milan, Jiggly Caliente,
Willam, or Dida Ritz?
Choose wisely, Michelle,
for the world is watching.
Now, if you can't love yourself,
how in the hell
you gonna love somebody else?
Can I get an amen in here?
- all: Amen.
- All right.
Now let the music play.
04x09 - Frock the Vote!
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RuPaul plays the role of host, mentor, and head judge for this series, as contestants are given different challenges each week.
RuPaul plays the role of host, mentor, and head judge for this series, as contestants are given different challenges each week.