don't do that Dad oh hey well have the
authorities on you if we start messing
around with that thing there and don't
swing around there first we can't k*ll
himself falling off like that man let's
go upstairs at the front I know you
mustn't go out with a front dad it's not
safe
the only safe place on a bus is not an
airplane it's on the ground all right at
the back that's the only safe place
because if this bus was involved in a
fatality dad there's a people at the
front or get k*lled first
well you get k*lled at the back anyway
Tanya have you got k*lled about two
seconds later you see I draw you now
during those last two seconds you might
have an amazing religious experience an
amazing revelation what the poor blokes
at the front one of my guys to get this
seat there on a side seat in a fast time
course you know I really look forward to
Saturday evening outings you know I
reckon the the holiday roustabout is a
real bargain
it's a real bargain doubt the green
holiday roustabout is a boon to the
traveler that's what you mean in a real
boon Jerry allows for seven and sixpence
you have excess 240,000 miles of British
roadway with an hour parallel view of
the lovely English countryside talks
johnnytravel ish you're not allowed off
the bus before put your ticket you see
so most people have to give up after a
couple of days yeah all right facilitate
on the facilities on the bus people will
be on four years or name that's why they
don't have facilities on the buses yeah
Oh talking about you remember that old
bus that was dumped on the waste ground
beyond Green Line Julius go now they
wouldn't build a net so I thought you're
not be robbed by a nice place to live so
I took a couple of blankets out there
but not you no no it's not a Spicer net
yeah but it had no facilitate a
deliberate defeat
okay people are you are but are not
about the basses doubt it gives you a
wonderful chance to meet people done it
did I'll ever give you the account of my
tempestuous affair on the forty to be
both discontinued that root of 19
yeah due to the incident I'm about to
realize is the Garda forty to be I think
a spring of 1948 anyway one day I got on
the bass you know what he normally sat
down and eventually the bass started out
when all the stop stop nobody got on now
he got off bell rang the bass started
out okay went to another stop nobody got
on nobody got a bell rang the password
on another stop now have you got on
nobody go and on that go on okay now
there are five stops dad it was a fairly
uneventful journey and until the
incident I won't bore you with the
details
you already had painted anyway after
about six stopped suddenly fish
uncannily beautiful woman with
incredibly sensuous looks about go onto
the platform of the bus tempestuous
beauty at Oh precious beauties out of a
type rarely seen hey I thought allow you
know yeah you said you know I thought I
know I hold on very cool dad bike oh boy
yeah
you have to slide by forever go anywhere
you see anywhere I could immediately see
what she was after I still doubt a mile
what she was after I won you know her
she gave me a fleeting glance all right
break my neck
yeah similar to what you did without a
Rikki anyway she gave me this speeding
larch and I was immediately aware of
what she wanted and I look the other way
so she went upstairs immediately ah I
thought funny animation about there by
there's made out
[Music]
our new or she wanted yes I saw enough
about fast starts later so you come down
the stairs got off the bus without even
looking at me I thought I'll play it
very cool yes I went on another four
stops got off down at Green Lane and
I'll never seen her again there's just
one of those things start you know yeah
by Christ explain I think they know I'm
got em every oh yeah not a stupid song
in there gossamer wings you wouldn't
stand a chance we've gotten away
setting up the moon over and about and
Spacey of gossamer wings an outline
Britain's lagging behind in a space race
day imagine if sighs air fill air Jarvis
here's a government-issued gossamer
wings you know pay you go just got away
with birds that I have you come yeah
yeah
no turn about that goal John Harold so I
I used to know she used to travel on the
run for a bathroom a lot want to show
you the tempestuous tipsy beauty with
raven hair down to our waist yeah
delicately bone pain alabaster body
eloquently for trusting through a dress
[Music]
or anyway as you know or as you don't
know she used to travel on a bump
alright fast yeah six o'clock or you be
sure to get one for I pass home well I
used to leave work about five o'clock as
you know about 10 miles for where she
was anyway but I always feel I had to
see her I have to see her so I used to
do eyes to come out of work yeah I have
to get a sixty to be after travel Heath
Murray Fiddler's
yeah nice to go down the hill or get the
five one for chali down terrain imperson
yes they are used to go over for the
railway break and go cross those fields
by the dive
a passionate feeling there's no b*mb
with cabbages courser is done so I find
a page by which time the one for I pass
the six o'clock man was coming around
that corner he'll come around very
slowly cuz it was a very sharp turn
there's no bus stop there but he's too
precise I think Santa's bar size to lie
down in the middle of the road though I
could do a stallion a platform as it
went past because I knew she was on that
bus well I happen then that I still a
panting on a platform that's no bloody
good you ever get a speaker at all it's
down-arrow woman yeah once when I got
off the fast she cut off the army and
also yeah I'll play a bit funny with
honour
oh bugger any elbow and I said yes own
choice me and I'll ran off down bottom
gardens and I'll find anything to wear
before really fast to me last night
daddy good you gotta play it cool with a
swimming dad if you want to get any word
you never get anywhere tall with that
Tiger out-of-date I fly out last P I
took her out to Western Speedway once
and we had done I thought a two cups of
tea a box of Pontefract cakes and a
takeaway pizza nothing
nothing nothing boy I'm master spend
honor fixin three chicken trade now but
nothing boy don't touch me you have been
done da that's no good to treat women
are that you've got to be extremely rap
and tempestuous with women they
extremely cool or masculine and dynamic
let me tell you an example downright
will illustrate this case in point
you know how in the spring of 1948 I
used to got canceled for the model
airplane racing only ninety to be won it
yeah they discontinued that didn't I
yeah due to the incident Alabama
I was waiting one five spring afternoon
under the mulberry tree the Sun nothing
onto the road a strange air of romance
in there and this one I was singing in
the sky I similar to the north you're
currently making yeah just standing
there with you know me model under me
are and suddenly this fantastic bird
come after me and stood by me she was
amazingly sensuous she had sensuality
written all over her face dad is he
really all over I think literally that's
a figure of speech she didn't actually
have anything written all over a fighter
I'll sometimes wish women did have
things written over their face make it a
bit easier things are sensuality
rigidity you know where you were what
would you have written over your face
they are having sizable last written
[Music]
I'll ask on a small but passionate daddy
too small at night the other small or
passionate you'll get smaller an
artistic this small I think most women
should have things written out of them
saying forget about it I'll come back
when you got a father so gue the man who
is down arrow anyway actually comes this
incredibly sensuous beauty with raven
hair for a waist amazing sort of
bohemian charm shared about her you know
an ethics existentialist PA yeah she'd
obviously devil deep in the works as
such or she knew what was all about been
a couple of years by the same with a
french poet and something like that
anyway she come after me last standing
all about a you say complete last I knew
immediately what she was I become a
mermaid I said in a low caste almost
unbelievably sensuous tone she said
excuse me
no say no say no excuse me but does this
bus go to cancel what does i think what
i'll immediately asserted my masculinity
I said maybe does maybe doesn't business
is it of yours
that's a way to do it freedom wrap you
have to treat them Ravin after they are
having no my advantage I said go down
our life you brazen hussy want to say
you're going well Shiva take a hint
I never saw okay all you have to do
treat and Ralphie they're gonna hear
anyway propose you to I haven't go that
I was women plan you gotta fly extremely
cool yeah have you seen those two birds
just go on right good you fancy other
thoughts effects either scraggy went on
the aisle hood you fancy the thin one
yeah well she can be yours in a matter
of moments dad
yeah you just buy a card right the thin
one all we have to do is go out to assay
stomach ironic to establish your amazing
masculinity okay got she's fairly thin
it is yeah or say something ironic night
hello fatty comment on a fax ease thing
yeah then Sato and a rough fruit or why
James Cagney used to do starter and say
how about a bit of passionate love with
me
you feel what well she thinks are yeah
just be very masculine aggressively so
I'm sorry
[Music]
I better pack up with me in alright
endure physical contact after such a
brief meeting yeah that's a way to do it
that now you've got a tired extremely
cold why don't we go upstairs and ignore
them for about ten stops bakelite cool
way to do it yeah
[Applause]