02x01 - Speed Trapped

[bunniefuu]

Tonight's the night!

The new frozen yogurt shop
is opening!

Fifty-two flavors and four
of them are sugar-free.

Oh, who are you kidding?

You passed out the first time
you discovered nail Polish.

I've heard of
those yogurt places.

They get you by
charging extra for toppings.

So, I'm bringing my own.

You don't even wanna know
what's in my pants.

Aah! Ooh! Hot butterscotch! Ooh!

Sorry, you guys are coming home
straight after school.

So no flavors, no froyo,

no hanging with the bros,
peeps, and homies.

"Bros, peeps, and homies?"

Don't. Just... no.

What's got you so grouchy?

They run out of human footstools
at the rich-guy club?

Did you forget your little buddy
Marcus found the lab yesterday?

He could've discovered
our bionic secret.

Oh! Okay, so it's our fault
that your million-dollar

smart home system
didn't stop him?

Don't go there, supergirl.

I was getting my beauty sleep.

Something you might
want to look into.

Ho-ho!
Ooh!

Look, it doesn't matter
whose fault it was,

even though someone
was supposed to be watching him.

Well, technically
someone pulled Leo away,

letting Marcus roam free.

Guys, I think you're
talking about each other.

Bottom line, I am keeping
a tighter leash on you three.

And Leo, because
I can't always be there,

you have to step it up
and do a better job

of watching out for them.

No problem, big "d."

I may have let one goon
get too close,

but I won't let any more marcuses
slip through the cracks.

From now on
you can call me the enforcer!

Leo's the enforcer? [ Scoffs ]

Capturing Adam, Bree, and chase

is gonna be easier
than I thought.

Narrator: The world's
first bionic superhumans.

They're stronger than us,

faster, smarter...

The next generation
of the human race is...

Living in my basement?

♪♪

The hammer is down, people.

No more talking to boys,
no more talking to girls,

no more helping old ladies
to their cars!

I was helping your grandmother.

Trust no one!

It's here! It's here! It's here!

It's here! It's here!

It's here!

What? What is it?

Whatever it is, I hope it came
with a big box of masculinity,

'cause I never
want to see that again.

Just come here!

[ All chuckle ]

[ Chuckles ]

Meet the world's
first self-driving car,

designed by yours truly.

That's right,
just when you thought

I couldn't get more awesome,

boom! I got more awesome!

And, boom!

I still want to be dropped off
a block away from school.

So how does
this thing drive itself?

Oh, well, uh,
see this panel on top?

It receives
a satellite signal

and sends all
the pertinent information

to the car's
on-board computer

and voila,
it drives itself!

Hey, did I mention,
by the way,

that this car
goes 200 miles an hour? No?

That's because it goes 300!

[ Beeps, engine starts ]

Good evening, Donald.

Would you like to take a ride?

She sounds classy.
Oh, yeah.

Guys, what are you doing?

You're gonna be late for school!
Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go!

What is this?

Donald, is this
my anniversary present?!

[ Gasps ] This is too much!
You shouldn't have!

[ Chuckles ] I didn't.

Uh, your gift
is a lot less expensive.

But, uh, just as romantic.

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

Today is the five year
anniversary of my activation

and he's spending it with me!

Oh, I'm sorry, eddy,
I completely forgot.

Donald, if you even consider

spending our anniversary
with that deranged emoticon,

it's gonna get ugly
around here.

Well, if anyone knows ugly...

Eddy!

Don't worry, honey,
this night is all about you.

As a matter of fact, I have prepared
a special anniversary dinner myself.

Thank you!
Thank you!

I was talking to my wife.

Becky, loving the new tee!

Sorry, Becky,
Adam can't talk right now.

He has a horrible disease.

You'd better jet before
his flesh starts eating itself.

Leo, you are taking this
"enforcer" thing way too far.

I have no idea
what you're talking about.

Hey.

[ Beeping ]

You're good.

Hey guys! What's up?

I'll tell you what's up,
your time here.

Get lost, creepy.
[ Beeps ]

Silly, Leo.

So, guys, are you excited
for the new frozen yogurt shop?

They're giving out
unlimited toppings.

Principal Perry's
been camped out for a week.

Wha... unlimited toppings?

Somebody could've told me that before I
filled my socks up with gummy frogs.

Stranger danger.

Uh, sorry, Marcus,
we can't go.

Uh, we have chores to do.

No we don't.
We have an uptight dad

who's afraid
we'll reveal our secret...

Recipe for chili.

Ooh, that works. Let's go!

Whoo!
Yeah!

Ugh, everybody from school is
checking in at the yogurt shop!

Even susie Reynolds,
and she's lactose intolerant.

Guys, I need your help

to make Tasha's dinner tonight
extra-special.

Yeah, sure. What can we do?

Stay far, far away.

[ Phone beeps ]

[ Sighs ]
I knew we should have gone

to the grand opening
with Marcus!

He just texted me
and said that principal Perry

is shotgunning tutti-fruity
straight from the dispenser!

We are missing the biggest
social event of the year.

Let's just go!

We can't.
Mr. Davenport wants us here.

No, Mr. Davenport
wants us far, far away.

And the yogurt shop
is far, far away.

Your razor-thin logic
works for me!

Wait, wait, wait, wait!
What about Leo?

Marcus said not to invite him
and he's right.

We just have to be quick.

You know what else is quick?
Davenport's car.

Are you crazy?

Mr. Davenport would k*ll us
if he knew we drove his car.

Yes, but we wouldn't be
driving his car,

it drives itself.

Boom!
Can't argue with that!

Honey,
before our dinner tonight,

I have
a special treat for you.

It's a slide show
of our first year together.

Showtime, eddy!

Okay, here you are
after your wedding.

Aw, such a special day.

Not for me. I was home alone
talking to the lamp.

Ooh, this picture's
even better.

Eddy, you took
my face off the picture!

Fine, I'll put it back!

Eddy!

Hey, just be glad I didn't
put it on the other end.

Ooh,
here's my personal favorite,

Tasha waking up in the morning.

Ignore him, ignore him.

Let's just
have some dinner.

Let's just...
[ Chuckles ] Yeah.

Nice anniversary dinner.

Oh, be right back in a second.

Donald, I'm a little warm.
Can you cool it off?

I'm on it!

Aah! Eddy, what did you do?

[ Chuckles ]
I froze the Turkey!

This thing is awesome!

Yeah, you just say
any destination

and it automatically
takes you there.

Yet no matter
how many times I tell it,

"take me to a better life,"
here I am.

And get this,

it even has a compartment
for your gloves!

So, guys, the line
looks pretty long.

Maybe we should just cruise
this thing over to my house.

Hold it! [ Panting ]

Eddy told me you guys snuck out.

You're all coming with me!

No, we're not.

Oh, yes, you are!

You can't tell us
what to do.

Yeah, you're not
the boss of us.

What, did you
run over here?

Yes, because...

[ All arguing ]

[ Beeps ]

Please enter a destination.

Bottom of the pacific ocean
and override manual braking.

I'm sorry, manual braking
cannot be overridden.

[ Beeps ]

Manual braking overridden.

Destination accepted.

Waiting for door to close.

Good thing I sprung for
the underwater camera.

All of you are getting in
the car, right now!

[ All arguing ]

Okay, I'm warning you.

Do not make me call for backup.

Because I do not
have any backup.

Guys, Leo's right.

I don't want you
to get in trouble.

Maybe you should go home.

But at least grab some yogurt
before you go.

I'll watch the car.

No, no, no.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

I see what you're doing.

You're not gonna lay one
slimy little finger on this car.

b*at it, eyebrows!

Door closed.

Acquiring fastest route

to the bottom
of the pacific ocean.

Bottom of the what?!

Help, help, help!

Safety locks engaged.

Help, help!
Departing in three, two, one.

Aah!

I'm gonna miss that little guy.

[ Chuckles ] No, I'm not.

Stop!

Your final destination

is the bottom
of the pacific ocean

and cannot be overridden.

Would you like to hear
some music until we arrive?

No!

You said "disco."

[ Disco music playing ]

No!

Um, where's Leo?

More importantly,
where's the car?

Even more importantly,
where are the napkins?

Leo probably
went for a joyride.

I'll just call my dad
to pick us up.

He's been dying
to meet you guys.

[ Phone beeps ]

It's Leo.

[ Phone beeps ]

Leo, where are you?

I'm trapped in the car speeding
towards the bottom of the ocean!

Do something or the next time you
see me I'm gonna be a fish stick!

[ Phone beeps ]

Guys, Leo's in trouble.
We have to go help him.

Sorry, Marcus, we gotta go.

Wait, you can't go yet!

We haven't taken a picture
with the froyo-a-go-go dodo!

Oh, right!

[ Camera shutter clicks ]

Huh? Now we're good.

Hey, Leo, the left pedal
is called a brake.

Take your foot
and step on it!

Don't you think I would
have tried that already?!

Hey, if you can't be polite,
this conversation is over.

[ Sighs ]

Leo, I'll use
your cell signal

to locate the car
with my bionic GPS.

[ Beeping ]

Got him.
Taylor Avenue and 28th.

I'll use my super-speed to catch
up to the car and pull him out.

Aah!

Open the door!

I can't!

The child safety lock
is always engaged

for passengers
under the age of nine.

I'm 14!

You are very small
for your age.

Look for the emergency brake!

Maybe this is it!

Turbo-booster engaged.

Aah!

That wasn't it!

What happened to you?

You know those signs
that say "deer crossing"?

They don't lie.

I don't know how
we're gonna stop that car.

What, you don't think
the ocean's gonna stop it?

If the car is being driven
by an internal computer system,

maybe I can tap into it remotely
and shut it down.

Hang on, Leo,
I'm gonna try something.

[ Beeping ]

[ Horn honking ]

[ Radio static ]

Well, chase, you completed

the 14-point
maintenance checklist.

Now all we need is an oil change
and we're good to go!

Tasha...

Mm-hmm?

Eddy would like to apologize.

Go ahead, eddy.

I just wanna say
I'm very s-s-s-s-s-so-so...

Are you faking a malfunction?
He is faking a malfunction!

Eddy!

Okay, okay!

I'm sorry.

Thank you.

Sorry you live here. Ha!

That's it.

I'm going to the lab
to shut you down.

No, no! Please!

Tasha, honey, baby,
you gotta help me!

I'll give you
anything you want!

I want total control
of your mute button.

Fine.

And I want you to stop
taunting my book club.

Fine! Then you better tell
the creepy little one

to stop pushing my buttons!

And no more
calling animal control

reporting a wild bear
roaming the kitchen!

To be fair, you had your snout
pretty deep in that salmon.

Okay, you've got a deal!

Great.

Then I will tell him
not to shut you off.

Thank you!

Starting tomorrow.

What? No! You tricked me!

Your book club is stupid...

Happy anniversary to me.

I wonder if there's
any salmon left.

Okay, the car
won't let me tap into its cpu,

but what if there was a way

for me to block
its satellite signal?

But is your force field
powerful enough?

Well, yeah, but I'd have
to surround the entire car,

which is miles away
and moving fast.

I could never throw that far.

You can't, but I can!

Yes, you can!

If I can calculate
the distance,

arc, and force
necessary to launch,

I can guide your arm
and use your strength

to hurl the force field
at the car.

Ah, so it's like
a bionic-bro combo!

A bro-motion! A bro-tation!
A super bionic bro-chacho...

Just do it already!

Leo: Hurry, hurry!

Okay, we've only got one chance.

You gotta think of it
like a basketball.

We're sh**ting a full-court sh*t
across 98 courts

that are moving
at 125 miles per hour.

Yeah, numbers, numbers,
blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

Just tell me what I'm chucking.

Fifteen seconds to destination.

Guys, I'm sorry.

You're trying to rescue me

when I'm supposed to be
protecting you.

I guess I wasn't
a very good enforcer.

No, you weren't.

Just get ready.

Get on your knees.

[ Sighs ]

Destination approaching.

[ Beeping ]

Perfect.

All right.

Three, two, one, now!

[ Both grunt ]

[ Camera shutter clicks ]

I don't know what that was,

but it's going on
my profile page.

Ew.

Let's see if it worked.

[ Beeping ]

Five seconds to destination.

Four, three, two...

[ Tires screech ]

[ Grunts ]

Signal interrupted.
Braking system engaged.

It worked! The car stopped!

Yeah!

Ah! Ah-ha! Ah!
[ Chuckles ]

No!

Thank you for driving
a Davenport super car.

Would you care
to participate

in a short survey
about your experience?

No!

Question number one...

Let me out! Let me out!

[ Both exhale deeply ]

You guys may have saved my life,
but you also almost ended it.

So you're not off the hook.

I'm gonna be on you
like yogurt on Adam's shirt.

Hmm. That is not yogurt.

Hey!

Do you guys have any idea
how much trouble you're in?

I told you,
three feet away at all times,

and no breathing on the windows!

[ Chuckles ] Sorry.

Sorry. It won't happen again.
Sorry. I'll be in my capsule.

[ Doorbell rings ]

Oh, hey. Perhaps I haven't made
this clear, but I don't like you.

Leo, I am so happy
you're home safe!

I can't believe you almost ended
up at the bottom of the ocean!

Wait, how did you know
where the car was set to go?

I didn't?

Wait a minute.
You sabotaged me!

You programmed that car!
I'm gonna tell Davenport!

I wouldn't do that
if I were you.

That was a warning sh*t.

Next one won't be.

You? With-th...

Surprise! I'm bionic,
just like Adam, Bree, and chase.

And you know about...

Okay, you are just
droppin' bombs everywhere, man!

You tell anyone
and the whole world

will know about
your family's little secret.

Adam, Bree, and chase
will be taken away.

Davenport would be
ruined forever.

[ Scoffs ] You know, I'd hate
to see your family torn apart

because of your big mouth.

Hey, Marcus. What's up?

Oh, hey, guys.

I just stopped by
to make sure Leo was okay.

How sweet is this guy?

You okay, Leo?

Leo, you good?

Uh, yeah. Yeah, I'm good.

Guys, you forgot to gas up
Davenport's car!

Luckily I was smart enough

to fill it up with the gas can
in the garage.

Adam, it's an electric car.

Mm-hmm.

It doesn't take gas!

One spark
and that thing could...

Oh, boy.

Hey, guys,
I'm gonna go for a drive.

All: No!

Aah!

Well, at least
he doesn't know we drove it.

Aah!