02x17 - The Dating Shame

[bunniefuu]

Oh, this looks so good.

I am starving.

Oh, Rae!

Rae... Do you see what I see?

Ahh... ahh-ahh. I see
that I am not eating.

Rae, but look, over there.

Look, talking to your dad.

Oh, man, that's Rodney rivers,

the morning DJ on KFOO.

Hey, dad,

what is Rodney
rivers doing here?

Oh, he's hosting a
new teen dating show,

and they're going to
sh**t part of the show

here at the chill grill.

Oh, man, another
cheesy dating show?

What is this one about?


a date with one guy.

I don't even know why people

would want to embarrass
themselves like that.

Yeah, right.

Hey, San Francisco!

It's your very own teen
dating show,termidate.

So join me, Rodney
rivers, live tomorrow night

to find out who will
win a dream date

with our hunky heartthrob Chad.

Will it be crystal?

Claudia?

Chelsea?

Or Raven?

♪ Let's go ♪

♪ if you could gaze
into the future ♪

♪ future, future ♪

♪ you might think life
would be a breeze ♪

♪ life is a breeze ♪

♪ seeing trouble
from a distance ♪

♪ yeah, go, Rae ♪

♪ but it's not that easy ♪

♪ oh, no, take it
to the bridge now ♪

♪ I try to save the situation,
then I end up misbehaving ♪

♪ hey, now, say, now,
'bout to break down ♪

♪ yeah, come on and
ride with the Rae, hey ♪

♪ and if the future
looks gray now ♪

♪ then everything's
gonna change now ♪

♪ all right, keep it going ♪

♪ that's so Raven ♪

♪ it's the future I can see ♪

♪ that's so Raven ♪

♪ it's so mysterious to me ♪

captioning made possible
by abc cable networks group

♪ it's the future I can see ♪

♪ that's so Raven ♪

♪ it's so mysterious
to me, yeah ♪

♪ yep, that's me ♪

Oh, my gosh.

Would you guys look at all
these cameras and lights?

How do I look?

You look great, Eddie,

but, um, hey, you're
not on the show. We are.

Whatever, Rae.

This is my big chance
to break into show biz.

Ok now, I'm going to
go make my big move.

And so all the kids on the
show can wear these really cool

chill grill t-shirts.

No.

Excuse me, Mr. Rivers.

Can I holler at
you for a minute?

Holler, yes. Touch, no.

Yeah, well, I'm Eddie Thomas

and I've always dreamed
of being in show business.

Well, son, I'm about to
make your dream come true.

Really?

It's just that easy?

Yep, so why don't we celebrate?

How about a cup of
coffee and a doughnut?

My big break... And a doughnut?

Actually, it's for me.

Everything you do from now on,

will be for me.

It's called working... For me.

Oh, oh... I got you. Yeah, man.

I mean, everybody got
to start from somewhere.

I mean today,
doughnuts; Tomorrow...

Bagels.

Make sure they're fresh, kid.

Chelsea, look.

There is our competition.

Crystal and Claudia.

Rae, it's not about competition.

Come on... If we're going
to play this game, Rae,

let's take the high road, ok?

Hello, losers.

Oh, that is it! You
are going down!

Hey there!

Calm it down, calm it
down, calm it down. Chelsea.

The high road, the
high one up there.

I'm sorry, Rae, but
I'm taking a detour.

No.

What is Chelsea really like?

Chelsea is such a loser.

And that's coming from my heart.

Chels... Um, hey, girl...

What if it's not
such a good idea

if we go on the show?

Rae, come on, you
said you were into this.

But, Chels, listen:

What if one of us gets caught up

and says mean stuff
about the other one?

Oh, I get it.

Just 'cause I get a little
competitive sometimes, Rae,

don't worry, ok,
'cause I would never,

ever say anything
bad about you, ok?

Ok, you silly.

You're crazy.

Yeah.

You're not the one
I'm worried about.

Look at me, I'm
in show business.

Slow your roll, Mr. Hollywood.

I have a problem.

I just had a vision
that I was on the show

and I got really ugly.

Well, we got makeup
people for that, Rae.

No, Eddie.

It wasn't about how I looked.

It was about I said.

I turned on Chelsea
and called her a loser.

Then don't call
her a loser, Rae.

You're right.

I have to stay positive.

I have to take the high
road and watch what I say

so I don't say anything
mean about Chelsea

that will ruin our friendship.

Thanks, Eddie.

Yeah, whatever, just
don't call her a loser.

Honey... hurry up.

We're going to be
late for the wedding.

I'm coming, I'm coming.

Cory, is Mrs. Wilson here yet?

No... and I don't need
a baby-sitter anyway.

I'm not a baby.

All y'all doing is
paying for somebody

to watch me watch TV.

Cory, we just don't think
you're ready to stay home alone.

Am too, am too, am too!

And that's how I used to act

before I was old enough
to stay home alone.

Give it up, Cory.

Fine.

Treat me like a baby.

Hello?

Oh, hi, Mrs. Wilson.

You can't make it?

All right!

I mean, get well soon.

Oh, no, no, don't
worry. I'll tell them.

Tell us what?

Oh, that was Mrs. Wilson.

She's, uh, stuck in traffic.

Yeah, she'll be here in


Son, are you going to be ok

by yourself until she gets here?

Oh, yeah.

Don't worry about
me, dad, I'll be fine.

Well, we have our
cell phones with us.

Don't open the door for
anybody but Mrs. Wilson.

I got it, I got it.

You kids have fun now, you hear?

All right.

The whole house to myself.

It's time for San Francisco's
hottest new teen dating game...

Termidate!

Where our 4 lovely
young ladies...

will compete for a dream date

with our hot and hunky
handsome heartthrob...

now, remember, only one of
these girls will end up with Chad.

The others will
be... Termidated!

Fabulous.

I just want to say
a couple of words

about my friend Chelsea...

What are you doing?
Sit down. No, no.

You'll have plenty of
time to trash talk later.

No, I don't want
to trash talk her.

I just want to say
how wonderful...

Go ahead, relax there.

And we'll get on
with the show. Ok!

Now, yesterday, the ladies had a chance
to impress Chad in a San Francisco

hot spot, the chill grill.

Take a look.

Hey, dance with me, Chad.

No, dance with me, Chad.

No, dance with me.

What are you doing?
Get out of here!

I hope that ain't
that girl's real hair.

That would be jacked.

Hello, ladies.

All right, now it's
time for 2 of these

lovely young ladies
to be termidated.

So, Chad, come on
up here and tell us,

who's it going to be?

Well, Rodney,
they're all awesome,

but I'm going to
have to termidate...

Claudia and crystal.

Oh, yes!

In your faces!

Whoo! Whoo! Whoo!

Claudia, that means

you're going to have to
take the walk of shame.

Ladies?

Yeah, well, he ain't
tall that anyway.

Ok, looks like we're
down to our 2 finalists,

Chelsea and Raven,

who just happen to
be the best of friends.

Yes, actually, we
met in kindergarten.

Actually, Raven used
to bring me things

and see if I would eat them.

And you know what, Chels?

You always did.

I sure did.

Isn't that heartwarming?
So, Chelsea, why don't you

step backstage to
our soundproof room

and give us a chance
to talk to Raven alone.

Ok.

Bye, Chels.

Bye, sweetie.

All right, Raven.

Why don't we take a look

at what Chelsea had to say

about you yesterday
at the chill grill?

Ok. Take a look.

I don't know why any
boy would pick Raven.

She's a backstabber.

Ooh!

A backstabber?

Ooh, that's cold.

After I tried so hard
to take the high road

and keep my vision from...

Keep... keep my vision, um...

Keep my vision good.

Because everyone needs
to keep your vision good

so you can see stuff.

That's why I
read in the light...

Ok, why don't you finish
your babbling backstage

and we'll bring
Chelsea back out?

All right. Chelsea?

Hi. Hi there.

Come on in and have a seat.

All right, Chelsea.

Now, why don't we take a look

at what your best friend Raven

had to say about you yesterday?

Take a look.

What is Chelsea really like?

Chelsea is such a loser.

And that's coming from my heart.

What?

How could she say that?

Yeah, I told her not to say it.

I told her twice.

So it's going to
be like that now?

Well, I guess it does.

And you call me competitive?

Oh, girl, you have not

seen competitiveness-ness.

Well, then, bring it.

Ding dong. Delivery for Chels.

It's brought! Oh, it's brought!

Oh, don't go away,

because when we come
back, our 2 best friends,

or should I say ex-best friends,

are going to battle it out
in the challenge round

when we come back to termidate.

Don't go anywhere.

All right, we're back with
our 2 remaining termidaters,

Chelsea and Raven.

Ladies, you ready to play?

Oh, oh, I'm ready,
but I ain't playing.

Yeah, well, I'm playing,
but I'm not ready.

What?

Well, you'd better get ready

because it's time for
our challenge round

where our 2 contestants
will battle it out

to win Chad's heart.

Ready, Chad? Let's do it.

Let's bring out our
termidate challenge wheel!

Thank you.

All right, Chad.
You ready to do this?

Do it, Rodney.

All right.

All right, come on down, ladies,

because you're about to
face one of these challenges.

Or, if you're lucky,

you might walk away
with one... Million... Dollars.

Chad, let's do it.

It's so exciting.

Yes! Yes!

Yeah! Yeah!

Oh! That was so close.

Ladies, welcome
to the stone age.

Don't go away,
because we'll be back

with our 2 battling
cave girls right after this.

Coffee!

Hey! Right away.
Coming. Whoa, whoa.

Easy.

Hey, so, uh, as one guy
in show biz to another,

how did you get
Raven and Chelsea

to bad-mouth
each other like that?

It's easy.

I film them saying nice
things, I take out the nice.

Are you allowed to do that?

Hey, it's reality TV, kid.

What do you think, it's real?

Where's my powdered doughnut?

Oh, uh... I'll
get right on that.

Don't even worry about that.

You do that.

Ok.

This is the life.

No parents, no baby-sitters...

No pants!

And now back to
tonight's feature

on too scary for
children theater:

Eye of the zombie ii.

I've got my eye on you.

Here, let me get it off.

Oh, man.

Cory!

It knows my name.

Cory!

Cory!

It's the eye of the zombie!

Cory!

Where did I put that spare key?

No one-eyed zombie
is going to get me.

Gotcha!

Cory, what are you doing?

Uh... practicing my backhand.

And my tackling.

What are you doing home?

I left my purse
and my... my keys

and the wedding present.

Wait a minute.

I'll ask the questions
around here.

Where is Mrs. Wilson?

Oh. Ms. Wilson, you
can come out now!

You must have scared her off.

Ok, Cory, I'm going to take
a wild guess and say that

Mrs. Wilson never showed up.

You're good, mama.

And did you know
she wasn't coming?

Yeah.

She called and
said she was sick.

I'm sorry I didn't tell you.

I thought it might be
fun to stay home alone,

but I hated it.

Did you say hate or ate?

Am I in trouble?

Oh... Yeah.

Ok, but we'll discuss your
punishment after the wedding.

Go get your good suit on.

I'm going?

You want to stay home alone?

I'll be right back. Just... Ok.

Welcome back to termidate,

and it's time for our challenge.

So, let's say hello to our
stone age cuties, Raven...

and Chelsea.

You know what,
you're the backstabber.

What? Rae, where is
that even coming from?

Girl, do not play dumb with me.

I'm not playing.

I'll say no more.

All right, let's save
the hostility, ladies,

because you're going to need it

for this stone age challenge.

Because we're going to have
ourselves an old-fashioned

egg-eating contest.

We're going to do what?

But not just any eggs, uh-uh.

Dinosaur eggs!

That's right, Chad loves a girl

with a big appetite.

It's true, ladies.

You a freak, ain't you?

Hey, I got to talk
to both of y'all.

Can we get a
different stagehand?

Watch your hands, man.

All right, ladies, you ready?

Ok.

Now, whoever eats
her egg the fastest

not only wins this challenge,

but they win the
dream date with Chad.

Unless, of course, one of
you wants to back out now.

No way.

Uh-uh, let's do this. I'm ready.

All right.

Hands behind your back.

Chadster.

Ready, set, eat!

Let's do it! Let's go, let's go!

It's going to go
down to the wire.

Come on, ladies, come on.

Oh, and the winner is...

It's a tie!

We're going to have
to go to our tiebreaker!

Which is what?

And remember, girls,
whoever holds on the longest

gets to hold on to Chad.

I'm never giving up.

Yeah, well, I'm never
giving up longer.

And whoever can't hold on

takes a dip in our tar pit

and gets... Termidated!

Please. I can stay up
on this thing forever.

Right hand!

Left hand!

Huh. Hey, bet you
can't do no hands.

Oh, please. I...

Oh, no. I'm not
falling for that one, ok?

You know what I don't get?

Why did you have to
trash-talk me on TV?

Rae, I did not trash-talk you.

You trash-talked me.
You called me a loser.

What? I never said that.

That only happened in my...

You know, that thing I
can't talk about on television.

Ok, if you're trying to
confuse me or something,

it's not going to work.

Ok, I'm a rock, man!

Oh, no, she didn't.

That's right.

"Raven and Chelsea.
Nice version."

You're... Going... down.

I'm... I'm... I'm staying up.

What is Chelsea really like?

Chelsea is such a good friend,

I would never want to lose her.

And that's coming from my heart.

What?

You said that?

Oh, man, it sounds
so much better

with all those other
words in there.

Who played that tape?

First rule in show business:

Never leave your tapes
by the doughnut table, ok?

I don't know why any
boy wouldn't pick Raven.

She's a fantastic friend
and not a backstabber.

Oh, Chels, that's so sweet.

You know what, Chels?

What?

They messed with our tapes.

I can't even believe
that I would think

that you would say all
those mean things about me.

Yeah, I got
caught up, too, girl.

I'm sorry.

Aw, me, too.

Hug? Hug.

You know what's amazing?

Huh?

You have a lot of
upper body strength.

Thanks, Chels.

You're welcome.

I work out. You work out?

Yeah. I do,

it's very important.
Very important.

You see that?

You cannot tear us apart.

Yeah, yeah, you cannot mess
up our friendship over a boy.

Yeah, no matter how cute...

Yeah, or adorable...

or fun he may be.

We quit.

You can't do that. Why not?

Because someone has to fall

into this very
expensive tar pit.

Zap 'em!

Just kidding.

Gets them every time.

Well, that's our
show for tonight.

Tune in next week

when we'll try to work
out the kinks in our game

and hopefully find 4 new ladies

who don't have that kind
of upper body strength.

Until then, I'm Rodney...

Oh! Oh! Oh!

Sorry, Rodney!

You've just been... Termidated!

Good night, everybody.

Thanks for watching!

Good night.

Bye!

Yo. The whole school is talking.

Everybody saw
y'all on TV yesterday.

Ooh! Did they
think we were cool?

Didn't you hear me, Rae?

They all saw you.

Can you even believe
how competitive we got?

I know, I know, but I could
have held on to that bar

for, like, another 5 minutes.

Yeah, I could have done

at least another,
I don't know, 10.

Yeah, 15.20.

You think so? I know so.

Then bring it.

Look, y'all, I've got homework.

I'll holler at y'all.

Tired?

No.

You?

No. No, I'm good.

Good.

Oh!

I'm... great.

I'm better.