05x03 - I'm Done With You

[bunniefuu]

[Lauren] Previously on "The Hills..."

After Stephanie brought Heidito my birthday party

I had to set her straight.

All she wants is her best friend back.

Stephanie, you have to stop.

Stop pushing it on me. I'm not kidding.

Heidi found out that Spencer

was hitting on a bartender.

What gets you up on the bar dancing?

Pour some sugar on me all day.

[Spencer] 'You naughty thing, you.'

So she went home to Colorado

where she bumped into an ex-boyfriend.

- 'You're engaged?' - No.

- Oh, so there's still hope? - Mom!

And while she was gone, Spencer went right back

to the source of all the trouble.

'I think this is the end of the evening.'

- I know. - What're we gonna do?

Now Heidi was about to comehome

and the trouble was only going to get worse.

The door was open.

That doesn't mean come in if you're not invited.

Did you leave your train out front

that matches that hat?

[chuckles] Moving on.

- Have you talked to Heidi? - Nope.

I got a text from her, and there's some guy

named Colby that she ran into, and she said it was like

'her ex-boyfriend, and...'

'Do you know who that is?'

Her, like, high school boyfriend that her mom is like

trying to talk her into dating, who she did date, who she, like

used to, like, Bible study every day with, and, like

ski the slopes with.

It's like, go for it.

Have you seen the bartender again?

Yeah, 'cause that's your business what I've been doing

and who I've been seeing. Thank you.

I now know what Heidi's up to

'and you know what I think about all that?'

I'm gonna start going out too.

You should just...

...be on your best behavior right now.

♪ You're everything I want ♪

♪ And everything I fear ♪

♪ Let me out ♪

♪ Let me go ♪

♪ You're everything I want ♪

♪ And everything I fear ♪

♪ Let me out ♪♪

- Hey. - Hi.

- That's a nice shirt. - Thanks.

- Is that one of our client's? - No.

- It's pretty. It's nice. - 'Thanks.'

It's very s.

So I'm trying to figure out what we're gonna do

about Whitney being gone.

I'm thinking we should probably add another intern.

So just as an intern? Just extra help?

Somebody who's honest. Somebody who's committed.

- Who knows how to support. - Yeah.

Do you have, like, any friends that fit them?

Yeah, I know some people that would probably

love to work here.

Okay, just be careful about who you refer

especially if they're your friends.

- Okay. - Let me know.

Okay.

♪ The ghost won't settle down ♪

♪ If you're crying ♪

♪ If you're dying ♪

♪ So let's fight oh oh oh ♪

♪ And now he acts ♪

♪ He acts like ♪♪

Good spot.

- I'm so hungry. - Really?

Don't you feel like you always have to stay like

in shape living here?

That's what baggy shirts are for.

Dresses.

'Oh, we got some really cute stuff in at work today.'

So what's going on? At People's Revolution?

Well, I think that they're like, looking to hire someone

new, as in like an intern or like someone smaller

to kind of get familiar with the company.

I feel like it's time for me to leave my internship.

Well, you should do several internships

while you're at school.

How does one...

...apply to People's Revolution?

- 'If you catch my drift.' - To be... Yeah.

To be honest, it's pretty much like any other job.

I'm sure a hundred people want that job.

Well, I mean, I can get you an interview with Kelly.

Now, I'm like, nervous about, like, getting a new job.

'I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding.'

I'm not getting ahead of myself.

[instrumental music]

♪ Who are you? ♪

♪ Is there something in this place... ♪♪

'Is that you, Spencer?'

- Is that you, Heidi? - 'Yes.'

When did you get here?

You didn't want to call and tell me you were coming home?

I thought you knew when I got back.

How was your trip? How was my favorite person, Darlene?

We kind of talked about the bar incident

and she said we should be able to

not be having these problems.

You're just such a hypocrite.

I am just dating Ms. Hypocrite.

Especially after hearing about

your little hangout with your ex-boyfriend.

I was at dinner with my family

and he came over and said hi.

I didn't plan on seeing him.

So you're trying to tell me if the roles were reversed

you wouldn't flip out like you did with the bartender?

Taking sh*ts with a bartender is a little different

than having dinner with your family

and seeing someone come in, and just say hello and then leaving.

You act like taking sh*ts is kissing someone.

It's like, I didn't even know you had these sides to you.

Yeah, I didn't know you had a side where visiting your mom

was going out to dinner with your high school--

I didn't go out to dinner with him. Stop saying that!

'I'm just so sick of fighting.'

Hey, you know what, you left for three days

and I was just like, wow, this is three days without fighting.

This is very refreshing.

Wow.

I mean, did you see her while I was gone?

Are you really even asking this question?

Yeah, I am. Did you?

Heidi. No.

'I just don't know what to say to you.'

I don't even want to talk to you any more.

♪ I must've run right out of view ♪

♪ And I'm invisible to you ♪

♪ You don't see me any more ♪♪

♪ Shine on shine ♪

♪ Just shine on shine ♪

♪ With every breath we take ♪

♪Until they are gone ♪

♪ Just shine on shine ♪

♪ Just shine on shine ♪♪

- 'Hi.' - How are you?

Nervous.

You look cute.

- Professional? - Mm-hm?

Okay. Is she here?

She's upstairs.

- 'Are you ready?' - Yeah.

I spent all night fixing my resume.

- Do you have it? - Yeah.

- Are you ready? - Okay, yeah.

Hey, Kelly. Stephanie Pratt's here.

Okay.

- Hi. - 'Hi.'

How are you? I've heard a lot about you.

- I'm Kelly. - Stephanie.

'You look very professional today.'

Okay, good.

- Are you okay? - I'm really nervous.

You seem nervous.

I haven't done an interview in a really long time.

- This is my resume. - Let's see.

I don't really read resumes, but I'll read yours

since you brought it.

My final objective in life is to have a handbag line

so I really want to work here, just to see, um...

'You have a lot of, like, great designers here, and the PR'

that you guys do is really awesome, and I just want to like

see how I could brand my bags.

So you basically want to use my experience and my clients

and their inside knowledge to ultimately leave here

and go make your own handbag line?

- No. No. No. - 'Okay.'

I mean, this is, like, eventually, like, in a decade.

I mean, I'm planning to, like, work, like, a lot.

You should be able to move quicker than that, honey.

'I mean, it's good to have life goals'

'but I'm running a business.'

So, I'd like to know more about what your goals are.

How do you know about People's Revolution?

I've heard a lot about it from FIDM and, uh...

- Is that your school? - Yes.

- You can use a computer? - Yeah.

You know how to print labels and all of those things?

Print labels?

Yeah, like, you know, you get a label

you put it in the printer, you set it up on the list.

- It comes out the machine. - And then you...

- Is it stickies? - Oh, Stephanie!

No, I just, I have never done that

but it sounds simple enough.

Okay.

- 'AndTu ParlesFrancais?' -Oui.

C'est tres bien. Nj'insiste pour toi parle avec

nmoi dans la Francais seulement.

- Do you speak French? - 'Yeah, no.'

I'm just... I'm terrified.

You know, I'm gonna tell you, like, straight-up

there's a rule that you cannot cry in this office

and there are gonna be million things

that make you cry every day, whatever it is

no nervousness and crying in my office.

That's good. I want a strong backbone.

- So I'm ready for this. - Are you sure?

- 'Yes.' - Not by this resume, honey.

Not by this resume.

♪ You got it on girl why you tryin' to hide? ♪

♪ Girl you're incredible ♪

♪ You got it going girl why you trying to hide? ♪

♪ You're so incredible ♪

♪ Dang girl that thing's so phat ♪

♪ Jeans is chokin' no room to the back ♪

♪ All the things that I can do with a bat... ♪

[Charlie] 'A night away from Heidi'

'good man, dude. Thanks for coming out.'

Well, we are gonna have fun tonight.

- Oh, yeah? - 'Yeah.'

I'm ready to get crazy tonight.

We meeting some peeps there?

Well, last time we were at The Dime Stacie

said this was the night her and her posse roll out.

- So I think... - 'A word.'

She bringing some friends?

Oh, I'm sure she's bringing some friends.

'And I'm sure there will be lots of friends'

out at the club for us to have a good time with.

Well, don't get caught slippin'.

Slippin' what? I don't slip, homie.

You don't slip, you trip. You flip.

- Oh, yeah, I like that. - 'Just like pancakes.'

I don't slip, I flip. Woot-woot.

Let's go to the low-key cuddy H Wood spot.

This place goes off.

♪ You got it on girl why you tryin' to hide? ♪

♪ Go on girl why you tryin' to hide? ♪

♪ Go on girl why you tryin' to hide? ♪♪

[Heidi] 'What's going on?'

Lauren got me an interview with Kelly Cutrone

and I brought a resume, and she was like

"I don't usually look at these."

'And I was like, "Okay, this is not going to be'

a normal interview."

- No. - It was actually terrifying.

Well, that was so nice of Lauren to get you that interview.

Yeah.

Have you heard anything from

um, your brother lately?

You haven't talked to him all day?

No. Spencer has, like, this secret life.

Right now, he's latching on to Charlie

'and trying to see what that's like.'

Charlie's a bad influence.

Spencer wasn't even going to the bar before Charlie...

Spencer never went out.

He was, like, a good stay-at-home boyfriend

and husband material. Where is he right now?

I think he's at a club somewhere.

Well, then let's go out.

Where should we go?

Every single club that would be good tonight.

- 'And we'll find him.' - ...just what?

You think we'll find him? I don't even want to see him.

You need to know where he is right now.

Okay. So we're gonna narrow it down.

My house? Probably not Coco de Ville.

Um, I mean, really, it just could be one of those...

Oh, H Wood just opened up. I bet he's there.

- Should we get the check? - Yeah.

♪ I like my b*at turned up ♪

♪ And my fitted turned sideways ♪

♪ Running .s smokin' off the highway ♪

♪ This the hit single platinum run it to the bank ♪

♪ Black ready go Hummers in the summer ♪

♪ Like we own 'em I like my b*at turned up ♪

♪ And my fitted turned backwards ♪

Do you want another glass of champagne?

Yeah.

What song do you want to request?

- "Pour Some Sugar On Me." - "Pour Some Sugar On Me."

I know, trust me.

♪ Game of death wait for a major label ♪

Hey, I like the vibe here. It's very chill.

It's like my living room without the headache.

We're gonna cheers to Spencer and his great girlfriend, wife.

Cheers to Heidi.

We're so happy you could come out tonight.

It's a pleasure to be out here.

♪ Big bad white boy to s*ab you with the heart ♪

♪ And know these other youngest rappers ♪

♪ Are straight-up talk I like my b*at turned up ♪

♪ And my fitted turned sideways ♪

♪ Running .s smokin' off the highway ♪

[Heidi] 'Uh, I cannot believe we're doing this.'

This is so crazy.

I know, I know, I know.

Whatever, someone needs to do it.

We're gonna do it. We're gonna figure this out.

'Oh, my gosh, you're right. He's here.'

'Is that her?'

Yeah, and it looks like they're on a double date, so...

- 'Let's go there.' - 'Wait, we need a plan.'

No, I'm just going over there.

I think I have a GPS tracker in my car.

Everyone, just stay calm. Just stay calm.

What the * * * are you doing?

- Hanging out with friends. - Are you kidding me?

I had to find out that you were here sneaking around

with Stacie here.

'Cause are you guys dating? Are you having more sh*ts?

[Charlie] 'Yo, Heidi, why don't you chill out?'

This is none of your business so do what you're doing?

Your man is just having a night out.

- 'He hasn't done anything.' - Sit down, sit down.

- Why don't you chill out? - Charlie, seriously, sit down.

You're the worst influence ever.

Charlie, Charlie, Charlie.

Like, these are the people you're hanging out with?

'Cause he knows I haven't been doing anything.

- We're just hanging out. - Oh, oh, yeah...

- Join us. - Join you?

Can I join this double date?

Because that would be so much fun.

Nobody's dating. We just all met five minutes ago.

- 'How skeezy.' - 'Look at how she's dressed.'

She's obviously a slut.

What, what did you say?

And you're a home wrecker? What?

- I'm a home wrecker? - A what?

What are you doing with my sister-in-law's husband?

- 'Stop, stop, stop.' - 'Do you have pants?'

'Do you own pants in your closet?'

Just stop, just stop. Just stop.

Stop, please.

'Excuse my sister. She's not housebroken.'

- That's your sister? - That's my sister.

I mean, I'm done, so don't call me. Don't talk to me.

I want nothing to do with you.

I can't believe you're doing this right now.

Let's go.

[instrumental music]

♪ To never enough to never again ♪

♪ To never be right for you to treat me this way ♪

♪ And I can't go on living this way ♪♪

[Stephanie] 'Hey. What are you doing up?'

I'm just, my mind has been racing, and I can't believe

I'm in this situation.

She has so much gall to do that.

And she's all trying to sit close to him

and cuddle up to him. It's like...

- I called Stacie a homewrecker. - I know!

- I told her to put on pants. - That was amazing.

She was making like the public area, like, uncomfortable

by like, wearing no clothes.

And what is he doing, he blames this whole Stacie

everything situation on me because he says

it's my fault, because I ran into Colby

when I was in Colorado.

I mean, love doesn't make sense

and no one ever said it was easy.

You know, I think every single couple

goes through these stages. No, I mean, I'm done.

I'm breaking up with him. Like, this is it.

Unless you guys get professional help

and, like, see a therapist, Heidi, it's...

I mean, everyone in LA has a therapist.

It's not like that weird of something to suggest.

I-I don't even, there's no future

and I don't know if he would see a therapist or if that would

even help because I think we might be way beyond that.

- Give him an ultimatum. - 'Why?'

Just make it an easy choice for him.

Therapy or done.

I just don't even know if I want to give him the ultimatum.

'It's like, too late.'

- How many chances do you get? - Yeah.

[instrumental music]

[male #] 'So maybe we can try to put some looks together.'

To kind of minimize. Wear like, a few diamonds.

- And not be too decked out. - Hey, Lauren.

Sorry to interrupt, but can I talk to you for one second?

Wanted to talk to you about...

- Oh, Stephanie. - Mm-hm.

Look what her objective is.

"Objective, design handbags."

She wants to be a handbag designer.

I know, but you don't bring in, I mean

I was trying to be nice about it and not laugh in her face

but it's like, I'm like, why would you bring a resume

that says you want to be a designer of handbags

to an interview at a PR company?

She probably misunderstood.

She probably thought objective kind of like her goal

for personally, not so much at the moment.

I know, but come on.

I've gone to school with her for a while

and just in classes, she does work hard.

I don't think you've ever heard me say this, but I'm scared.

My inclination is to let her try it, just because

the interview was such a folly that she could be genius.

I think that she really, really wants the job.

I think she can do it.

Well, you know if she makes mistakes

that you're gonna be her superior.

- And it's gonna come on to you. - Yeah.

And if she does * * * up, I'm gonna make you fire her

'cause I'm not gonna be the one to do it.

So if it doesn't work out, you can nix her.

- Okay. - Okay?

You might wanna kiss her, but I've put a g*n

to her back and make sure she stands up straight.

- Okay. - Okay?

♪ I fell in love with a psycho k*ller ♪

♪ Ah my bad ♪

♪ I fell in love with a psycho k*ller ♪

♪ Ah my bad ♪

♪ I fell in love with a psycho k*ller ♪

♪ Ah my bad ♪

♪ I fell in love with a psycho k*ller ♪♪

How are you?

How do you think I'm doing?

You never came home last night.

I know, I stayed at Stephanie's house.

I'm surprised you even noticed. Did you go home last night?

I was talking to Stephanie, and she was saying that maybe

therapy would help.

I'm not taking advice from my sister

who's seeing multiple therapists

and look at her, they didn't help her.

She's in way better shape than you.

Oh, ho-ho-ho, come on now.

If you want me to come home, you will.

I mean, I just think it's ridiculous that you really

expect me to go talk to some random stranger

just 'cause they went to an extra year of school

they get to tell me how I should live my life.

Do you know how mortifying that was for me last night?

You don't even get up to come talk to me.

I wasn't gonna deal with that drama

'cause I'm-I'm over drama.

I mean, I just can't even believe

that Stacie's hand is practically on your knee.

I mean, and dressed like that.

Like, obviously, she doesn't have a boyfriend.

She couldn't even be closer to you if she tried to.

Like, how many times have you even seen her?

Heidi, if I, if I drink as much as all my friends did

I would see her every night. She's the bartender at the bar.

- One block from-- - Do you see her every night?

- I've seen her three times-- - Three times?

I'm done with you. I'm done with this. I'm done with--

You blow everything so out of proportion.

No, it's not out of proportion, and the fact

that you're sitting here and not apologizing to me

and don't even see what you're doing is so crazy to me

that I can't even look at you right now.

I don't wanna look at you. I don't wanna talk to you.

I don't want to be near you so if you care about me

and you want to be in this relationship

get your stuff together and go to the therapist

or else get out of my life because I'm done with this.

Hey, guys, would you like something else?

No, we're done.

[instrumental music]

♪ You're bringing me down ♪

♪ Now you've got me on my knees ♪

♪ The first time around ♪

♪ You were so good to me ♪

♪ But now I'm out here in the cold ♪

♪ With just my own hands to hold ♪

♪ But where are you? ♪

♪ Where are you? ♪♪

[theme music]