[ ambulance sirens ]
- Latest victim came in five minutes ago.
Nineteen-year-old female, works at Nacho Ball.
- The close one or the nice one? - The close one.
[ winces ]
- Let's take a look.
- I should warn you. She's trashy.
[ Mandy cries ]
- Wow, she's a real mess.
- I can hear you!
- And I hear you too. Tell me what happened.
[ cries ]
- I'd just finished my shift at Nacho Ball.
Yes, the close one. - Someone better be dead!
- Victim's over here, Cap.
- Oh, uh, the victim? The victim's right here.
He's six feet tall, sweats diesel, poops bravery,
and is missing the new Battle Pigs movie right now.
- Ohhh I saw that last night! The ending is so--
- LA-LA-LA-LA-LA DON'T TELL ME!
AH-GAH-GAH-GAH-GAH.
- He's been looking forward to this movie for a while.
- Yes! Yes I have. Yes I have.
And every time I try to go see it,
some stupid criminal commits some stupid crime
and then I have to leave the theater and
honestly what do the cops in this town actually do?
- Yeah anyway, this is Mandy.
- Wow. She's a real mess.
- Yeah. - I mean, yikes, right?
What happened to her?
How's it going?
- I had just finished my shift at the close Nacho Ball--
- Gross.
- and as I was leaving, I was minding my own business,
littering, when this man--
- Ooh! Or a woman! Or a woman.
- No, it was a guy. - Okay.
- he came out of nowhere, and he was wearing this mask
that looked like a smiley face emoji,
and he said that his name is Mr. Nice Guy,
and that littering is bad...
- Well, he's not wrong. - I mean, it's not great...
- and then he super glued my litter
all over meeeeeeee...
[ blows nose ]
- There's a trash can like right there.
- Okay. Can you deal with this, please?
So I can go see my movie? - Yeah yeah yeah.
- I mean, can you handle it? Do I need to be here?
- No no no problem, big dog. - Thanks.
- Captain Man, wait! There's another victim coming in.
- Ooooh, bad luck bad luck bad luck, big dog.
- Somebody get me out of here!
Please! Somebody get me out of this thing! Please!
- Mitch Bilsky? - Don't care.
- I SAID SOMEBODY GET ME OUTTA HERE!
- Can you tell us what happened to you?
- Well, I had just finished loading my groceries
into my no-emissions, electric vehicle you know,
because I care about the planet...
Do your part. Do your part.
- I'm doing it. - I'm with ya.
- We got one planet, ya know? It's all we got.
Anyway, I was minding my own business,
leaving my shopping cart in the middle of the parking lot,
when all of a sudden this guy... - Or girl. Or girl.
- No, it was a guy. - Okay.
- He called himself "Mr. Nice Guy."
And he said I should always put things back where I got 'em.
- Again, he's not wrong.
- Yeah you should always return your shopping cart.
- So rude.
- Yeah, "Rude!" That's what Mr. Nice Guy said!
Then he said he was gonna teach me a lesson,
and so he put me in my shopping cart
and then he welded another one on top of meeeeee!
- We should go back to the Man Cave and dig into this.
- Yeah... The next showing of Battle Pigs
doesn't start for another two hours.
- Oh dude, you haven't seen Battle Pigs yet?!
- No, I haven't seen Battle Pigs yet.
Because every time I try to-- - Dude, the ending, when Hogwash--
- No! Don't tell me!
- Ahh! Uh.
- That's a little extreme.
- He's fine.
[ music ]
- Cross referencing security cam footage of the grocery store
and the alley behind the close Nacho Ball...
- Good, good -- Schwoz, did the police send you
a sketch of Mr. Nice Guy yet?
- They're trying to, but they're using
an outdated form of technology that sends information
over regular phone lines.
- But that's even slower than email! - Facts.
- Ah! You're reading that book of slang words I gave you.
- No, they're sending the sketch via fax.
A fax machine. - Oh.
- But yo, that book is lit, fam.
- That book slaps.
Did you get to the part where they're talking about--
- I got him! - You got him?
- You figured out who Mr. Nice Guy is?
- No. Uh. There was one guy online
who was willing to sell his ticket to the P.M. showing
of the new Battle Pigs movie. And I got him!
- Ray, c'mon... - Dude... - See you at the movies!
- What? No, no, no, no! - Whoa, whoa, whoa...
- What what whaaaat?! - You can't go to the movies,
we're in the middle of a crime spree.
- No no, no no, it takes three crimes to make a spree.
We only have two so far. So that's just a crime spurt.
And a little spurt don't hurt.
See ya at the movies.
[ yelps ]
- Get out of my way, I'm going to the movies!
Ahhhh! What is it?
k*ll it!!! k*ll it!!!!
- Stop, Ray!
- What's in your mouth? - Is that your phone?
[ mumbling ]
- The police sketch is coming in!
[ Henry's phone beeps ]
- I was minding my own business,
talking really loudly on my cell phone,
when this guy grabbed it and shoved it in my mouth.
Three! That's three crimes! Three's a spree!
- Spurt! - Spree!
- Spurt! - Spree!
- Spurt! - Spree Larson!
- Spurt Reynolds! - Spree and you know it!
- I know nothing!
- How are you texting?
[ Charlotte's phone beeps ]
With my tongue. Respect.
- Guys! I've got the police sketch
from the first two victims!
- This is Mr. Nice Guy.
Did he do this to you?
[ mumbles ]
[ in unison ] - Spree.
[ frustrated groan ]
- It all just kinda happened.
I wanted an after-school job.
But then, an indestructible superhero
hired me to be his sidekick. - Ah!
- Now we blow bubbles... and fight crime.
Feels good.
[ theme music ]
- Call it. - Up the tube!
- Aw, my boot! - Ha!
[ music ]
- Nose hoses... secured.
- Ear corks... corked.
[ whimpers ]
- Henry! Start the compressor!
- Commencing compressing!
- Once this goes past five-hundred P.S.I.,
Piper's phone will come sh**ting out of her mouth
at exactly eighty-seven miles per hour.
[ whimpers ]
- Ray? You ready to catch this phone?
- Yeah. Spit in the mitt!
- Hey! I just saw Battle Pigs--
Ahhh! Ahh!
- Hey, eighty-seven. Not bad.
- Told ya.
- Alright, what's going on?
Why did I just get hit in the face with a wet phone?
- Someone shoved Piper's phone in her mouth.
[ giggles ] - Nice.
- Hey! - Come on.
Alright, raise your hand if you've thought about
shoving Piper's phone in her mouth! Huh?
- Yeah.
- So what happened?
- Well, I was minding my own business,
talking loudly on my cell phone after watching Battle Pigs IV--
- How great was that ending? - So great.
- Yo, I cannot believe that Captain Porkchop--
- Not. Another. Word.
- You haven't seen it yet?
- No! Because I keep getting interrupted.
And you all know how much I hate getting interr--
- I still don't understand how Piper's phone
ended up in her mouth.
- Because as I was talking loudly,
some guy in a smiley face mask grabbed my phone, screamed,
"USE YOUR INSIDE VOICE!"
and then he shoved it in my mouth!
I mean... how rude is that?!
- Well, you shouldn't talk loudly on your phone in public.
- I know that. But I want to.
So I do it. What's wrong with that?
- I mean, it's just kind of bad--
- Not being considerate of others.
- C'mon, Piper... Mr. Wallabee taught you better than that.
- Mr. Wallabee. - That was one of his rules.
I love Mr. Wallabee.
- Who is mister wwaaaaayyyyyylllloooowwwww--
- Don't even try.
Mr. Wallabee is this local guy on TV
and he hosts a show for little kids.
- It's not just for kids.
- It's a children's show, Jasper.
- Alright. Love the show. Not gonna apologize.
There's literally no reason at all to stop watching kids' shows
just because you get a little bit older.
- Who are you talking to?
- It's "whom are you talking to?"
- Common usage, Jasper!
- No, no. "Whom" is the object in the sentence, not the subjec--
- COMMON USAGE!
- ALRIGHT. GRAMMAR RULES EXIST FOR A REASON!
- Grammar fiiiiiiiiiiiiight!
- Hey, hey, hey. - You bet you're going down.
- Come at me. - Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!
No more grammar fights! They never end good.
- So what does Mr. Wababadoodoo have to do with this?
- Mr. Wallabee-- - Waaaaaaalllooohh...
- Mr. Wallabee- - Waaaaallooooh...
- Mr. Wallabee. - Mr. Wallabee.
- --has a list of Seven Golden Rules For Good Behavior.
- Havior... - Can you stop doing that?
- Rule one: Never litter.
- Rule two: Put things back where you got them from.
- This guy sounds lame. - Uh, okay.
Mr. Wallabee is not lame! - He's kinda lame.
- Hey, I just thought of something.
- That grammar rules don't apply to you?
- Common usage!
- Okay, hey. Let it go, let it go, let it go.
Breathe. Breathe.
Okay. Now. What were you thinking?
- I was thinking Piper and Mitch Bilsky,
and that trashy girl from Nacho Ball
all violated one of Mr. Wallabee's rules before they got att*cked.
Don't litter, inside voices,
put things back where you got them.
- Wait. So you think that Mr. Wallabee is Mr. Nice Guy?
- No way! Mr. Wallabee is like the sweetest guy in the world.
Tom Hanks would play him in a movie.
- Okay, then: what if Mr. Nice Guy
is some kind of Mr. Wallabee super fan?
Or someone who works on the show
who's taking the rules too seriously?
- Um. It's "whom" works on the show.
- No it's not! - You wanna bet on that?
- Grammar fiiiiiiiight!!!
[ all shouting at once ]
- Hey hey hey hey hey!
Okay, just a quick one and then we gotta go see Wallabee.
- Yeah! - Whoo!
- Everybody grab a grammar hammer.
- I got mine. - And don't nobody cheat.
- "Don't nobody?" That's a double negative.
- Oh! You're going down! - Grammar fight!
[ music ]
- Mr. Wallabee will be with you in a few minutes,
if you gentlemen could wait right over here...
- Ow! Watch my shoulder. - Oh, sorry.
- Nah, you're good.
I just got in a pretty bad grammar fight.
- Grammar fight? - Yeah.
- Those never end good.
- Uh, don't you mean "those never end well?"
- Mr. Wallabee will be with you soon.
- So we talk to Wallabee, see if he's noticed anything weird
with any of his fans-- - It's the tree!
- I'm sorry, what? - The Wallabee Tree, dude!
The one that grows from good thoughts
and produces fruits of kindness!
- Okay, I feel like maybe your focus isn't--
- Oh the tubes! The tubes!
- Aww, the tuuuuuubes!
This is where the Mail Snail delivers the snail mail
to Mr. Wallabee's mail pail! - Yes!
- Everybody loves the tubes...
- Mail Snail! - How ya doin'?
- Dude, it's the Mail Snail!
Who delivers snail mail without fail!
- Nice to meet ya. You guys here to see Mr. 'Bee?
- Is he donating blood? - Every day.
Doctors say it's not healthy, but that don't stop Mr. Bee.
- That man is a true hero--
- No pointing!
- Wow... - Buddy...
- Take it down a notch. - That was a freebie.
Next time, you losin' an arm.
- Pointing violates Mr. Wallabee's Rule Number Five:
No pointing! Can't you read the sign?
- I see no sign. - What sign?
- There's no sign. - I don't see a sign.
- There! - What's wrong with your head?
- It's there! - Stop freakin' me out, man!
- Inside voices! - Oh, there it is!
Right there. You see? - No. Pointing.
- You, uh... you take Mr. Wallabee's rules
pretty seriously, don't-cha?
- Maybe a little too seriously. - You bet I do.
And so will you if you know what's good for ya!
- Say, friend... - Here we go...
- Let me ask you a question. - Quiz time.
- You ever seen the inside of a hood?
- The inside of a hood?
[ music ]
- Okay. The first thing you need to know is
you're not getting out of this alive.
- What?! - Nope, no, no-no-no-no-no,
you can't just k*ll people, dude.
- Yeah I know, but I just thought we were playing good cop bad cop.
Yeah we're playing good cop bad cop,
not good cop psychopath cop.
- Alright, start over, start over.
- Okay, cool cool cool cool cool.
[ in unison ] - One, two, three and...
- Okay, the first thing you need to know is...
you... might... get out of this alive?
- Better. - But only if you tell the truth.
- I'll tell you anything you want to know!
- Admit you're Mr. Nice Guy. - What?!
- Don't play dumb with us! We know you're Mr. Nice Guy.
Going around town, trapping people in shopping carts...
- stuffing phones into loud talkers' mouths,
gluing trash on the Nacho Ballers. We know that was you.
- And if you don't admit it, we will k*ll you.
- What? Nah, nah. - Oh no we won't k*ll you!
- Thank you. - As long as you tell the truth.
- Why do you--why do you want to k*ll people?
[ elevator dings ]
- Uhhh, hello occupied! Do not enter!
- Someone's in here!
- What are you guys doing?
- Turn the lights off! C'mon! - We said "occupied!"
- We're in the middle of an interrogation here!
- But we need ketchup! - This guy's gonna see you!
- Who are you guys talking to?! - Get! Out!
- We're gonna eat meatloaf in the park.
- But we need ketchup. - Kinda makes sense, dude.
[ all talking at once ]
[ in unison ] - Ketchup.
AUTO-SNACKER: Ketchup.
- That took longer than I thought it would.
- Meatloaf! - I'm so sorry.
[ all talking at once ]
- We're going. - Byeee!
- Go! - We're gonna go now.
[ in unison ] - Byeeeeeeeee!
- We know you're Mr. Nice Guy! - I'm not!
- Oh, sure. - But I can tell you who is!
- Oh. Sure. - Who is it?
- It's Mr. Wallabee!
[ in unison ] - Whaaaaaaaaaaat?
- No, way. - Mr. Wallabee can't be
Mr. Nice Guy. He's such a nice gu--
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh, I get it. I cracked the case.
Way to go, me.
- Wait but why did you freak out when we pointed?
- I was trying to protect you! Pointing is against the rules.
If Mr. Wallabee had seen you,
you'd have been his next victims.
- I kinda believe him. - Yeah.
Come on. Let's go wipe the smile off Mr. Nice Guy's face.
- How? No one's gonna believe us that Mr. Wallabee is a criminal!
We need proof.
- What if we get him to reveal himself on live TV?
Stop doing that. - Okay.
[ elevator dings ]
- We forgot the meatloaf.
- ARE YOU SERIOUS?!
[ all talking at once ]
- Well. Are all my Wallabee Wascals ready to hear
the Song of the Golden Rules?
[ in unison ] - Yes!
- Yes, what?
[ in unison ] - Yes, please!
- Thaaaaaat's right.
[ music ]
♪ Gather 'round, my special friends ♪
♪ as I share some helpful tools. ♪
♪ Have a ball while you're following ♪
♪ all my golden rules...
[ in unison ] - Rule one!
♪ Never litter...
[ in unison ] - Rule two!
♪ Put things back where you got them from... ♪
[ in unison ] - Rule three!
♪ When you sneeze you must cover... ♪
[ in unison ] - Rule four!
♪ Use your inside voice indoors... ♪
[ in unison ] - Rule five!
♪ No pointing...
[ in unison ] - Rule six!
♪ Before you enter, wipe your shoes... ♪
[ in unison ] Rule seven!
♪ Chew with your mouth closed,
♪ follow these and you'll never lose! ♪
♪ Mister Wallabee's Golden Rules... ♪
[ clap and cheer ]
- Thank you, Wascals, thank you.
[ doorbell rings ]
Someone's at the door.
I'll bet it's the Mail Snail
with the snail mail for the mail pail.
- Hello. - Oh hey! What's up Mr. Wallabee!
- It's Captain Man and Kid Danger!
[ Wallabee Wascals cheer ]
- Please don't point, Pascal.
It's against the rules and I just sang the song.
- Oh, I don't mind when kids point at me.
- Yeah, I just point right back at them!
POINTING PARTYYYYYY!!!!
[ Wascals shout enthusiastically ]
- Quiet for the calming bell. Being calm is always swell.
That's riiiiiiight.
Now, we can say hello to our guests who...
did NOT wipe their feet before entering.
- Oh, is that one of your rules?
- I think you know that it is.
- Sorry, big dog, I'll wipe it right now.
Wiping party!
- WIPING PARTY!
WHILE POINTING!!!!
[ rings calming bell ]
- Quiet for--I said quiet for the calming bell!
Being calm is always swell!
- Oooohhh! Sounds like someone's not using his inside voice.
- Yeah, it's that guy.
- No pointing...
- Ring ring ring! Oh, it appears I am receiving a call!
- On your cellular telephone? - Indubitably.
HELLO? YES! THIS IS HE.
WHAT'S THAT?! YOU WANT ME TO TALK LOUDER?! OKAY!!!
- Use your inside voice...
- Ah ah-choo!
- He didn't cover his mouth...
- Ah-chooooooo!
- He's not obeying the rules...
- Yo, I love these chips! These chips are dope!
- Yeah! - I love to eating them with my mouth.
- We always chew with our mouths closed...
- Do we? Oh. - I also like to eat potato chips.
- No pointing...
- You know what, I am done with these chips.
But whatever to do with the bag?
- Okay, okay, come on, guys.
- Yeah, I don't see a trash can anywhere...
- I don't see one. - It's... right... there...
- Oh. So it is.
- I think I might just... maybe just...
Just drop that...right there.
[ nervous laugh ] - THAT'S IT!
- Ooooooh, inside voice please.
- NO MORE MISTER... WALLABEE!
- It's Mr. Nice Guy!
- That's right, PASCAL!
I've been trying to teach you people
manners for years but none of you listen!
So now I'm going to make you behave!
- Not anymore, pal! - Yeah! You're goin' to jail.
And can I just say? Good plan, dude.
- Thanks. - Respect.
- Now let's take this guy down to--
- Ohhhhhh!
[ Wascals scream ]
- Come on. You want a piece of Wallabee?
- Yo, Mr. Wallabee is jacked.
- Right? You know what this means?
[ in unison ] - LASER PARTY!!
[ Wallabee Wascals cheer ]
- Yay!
Yay!
- Nice job, Kid Danger. - You too, Cap.
- Y'know, this one had a nice little ending to it.
- It sure did.
- Just like the ending of Battle Pigs...
- He hasn't seen that movie yet, so no spoilers!
- when you find out that Trotter and Pigtail
are working for the Russians!
- You are gonna get it,
[ Wascals and Captain Man yelling ]
05x29 - Mr. Nice Guy
Watch/Buy Amazon Merchandise
After school, Henry becomes Kid Danger: Captain Man's superhero sidekick.
After school, Henry becomes Kid Danger: Captain Man's superhero sidekick.