03x32 - Whatever Happened to Baby Brain/Just Say Narf

[bunniefuu]

Gee, brain,

What do you
want to do tonight?

The same thing
we do every night,
pinky,

Try to take over
the world.

♪ they're pinky
and the brain ♪

♪ yes, pinky
and the brain ♪

♪ one is a genius ♪

♪ the other's insane ♪

♪ they're
laboratory mice ♪

♪ their genes
have been spliced ♪

♪ they're dinky ♪

♪ they're pinky
and the brain ♪

♪ brain, brain, brain ♪

♪ brain, brain, brain,
brain, brain ♪

♪ before each night
is done ♪

♪ their plan
will be unfurled ♪

♪ by the dawning
of the sun ♪

♪ they'll take over
the world ♪

♪ they're pinky
and the brain ♪

♪ yes, pinky
and the brain ♪

♪ their twilight campaign ♪

♪ is easy to explain ♪

♪ to prove
their mousey worth ♪

♪ they'll overthrow
the earth ♪

♪ they're dinky ♪

♪ they're pinky
and the brain ♪

♪ brain, brain, brain ♪

♪ brain, brain,
brain, brain ♪

Narf!

Oh, daddy,
i don't care if you
lost all our money

In the mean,
old stock market.

You're still
the bestest daddy
in the whole world.

Trudy, dear, i'm very lucky
to have you as a daughter.

Give your father
a great big hug.

Oh! Mother of--

Cut!

I barely
touched 'im.

Can't...feel...legs.

Trudy, trudy,
i hate to say it,

But you're just too old
to play a kid anymore.

Ah, maybe you're right.

I was getting
tired of having

To shave my legs


[Sighs]

Without trudy's
simple movies

To lift america's spirit,

How will we ever
get through the depression?

Apples, 5 cents.

Potatoes, 5 cents.

Failed plans
for world domination,



Plan for
world domination, sir?

Only slightly used!

Drat! Not one sale.

How am i ever
going to raise the money
for my latest plan?

Narf! I'm doing well,
brain.

Smelly, dried-Up,
old baloney, one cent!

Get 'em while
they're still, um...

old and smelly!

Old baloney.

Why on earth is anyone
buying old baloney?

Well, it's a fair price,
brain.

Is this enough
for your new plan
thingie? Narf!

There isn't enough
smelly, dried-Up,
old baloney in the world

To pay for my plan,
pinky.

I need $2 million.

Ahh, too bad.

Ah! Wait! Poit!

If i charge
$750,000 each,

I'd only have
to sell 2 1/2
slices, brain.

Why not charge $2 million

For a slice of smelly, old,
dried-Up baloney, pinky?

Then we'd only
have to sell one.

Oh, silly willy brain,

Why would anyone
pay $2 million

For a slice of smelly,
old, dried-Up baloney...

my point exactly.

When you can get them
for the amazingly
low price of 750,000?

Now i know why they
call it the depression.

Extry! Extry!
Trudy simple fired!

Hollywood
seeks new child star!

Extry! Extry!

Pinky,
are you pondering
what i'm pondering?

I think so, brain.

But if we have nothing
to fear but fear itself,

Why does eleanor roosevelt
wear that spooky mask?

No, pinky.

I will take little
trudy simple's place

As america's
favorite child star.

Oh, yes, brain!

Oh, wait, no. Sorry.
Um, there's a problem.

Trudy simple is adorable.

Are you saying that
i'm not adorable, pinky?

Well, yeah--Well, no--

Maybe if
i squint very hard

And make everything
very blurry i--Narf!

Uh...

Oh, yes. That's it.

How is the work going
on my sailor suit, pinky?

Oh, good, brain.

Little lord wetbottom
didn't want to give me
his clothes at first,

But i taught him
all about sharing.

Excellent.

We must spend
every waking moment

Preparing for my plan.

Right, brain.

Um, may i read
the funny pages when
you're done with them?

These aren't
the funny pages, pinky.

They're the product
of hours of research

I've spent unlocking
the mystery of cuteness.

Cuteness?

Yes. I'm quantifying
the physical attributes

Of the world's
cutest living things--

The wide-Eyed innocence
of the newborn baby...

the insouciant charm
of the frisky puppy...

the huggable gruffness
of new york mayor
fiorello la guardia.

But, brain,

Um, you don't
look like any of them.

Well, maybe the doggy,

Especially
when you're asleep,

And your tongue's--
Ah...wha...

uhh! Um, where
are we going, brain?

Over here, pinky.

I have laid out
the ingredients

For my cuteness
makeover.

Altering my appearance
using these items

Will make it
mathematically
impossible

For hollywood producers
not to find me adorable.

Oh, fun, brain.

And when you're done
playing dress-Up,

Can we play horsey?

This is science, pinky.

Observe.

Contact lenses
to enlarge my eyes

And elicit
the audience's
protective instinct,

Fake dimples to augment
cheek pinchability...

[crunch]

Blond curls perfectly
calibrated to--

Well, actually, i
just sort of like them.

So, pinky,
what do you think?

Um, i think you've
concentrated a great deal
on surface appearances

Without really honing
your theatrical abilities.

Perfect! Come, pinky,
i'm ready for hollywood.

Here we are, pinky,
schwab's drugstore,

Where many of hollywood's
legendary stars
are discovered.

Any second now,
a producer will discover me

And ask me to star
in his next film.

How can you
tell which ones are
the producers, brain?

Simple, pinky.

They're the ones
buying the ulcer medication.

Ahh! [Slurp]

Oh, i do hope
they discover you soon,
brain.

I'm getting hungry,

And we don't
have any money.

You're forgetting, pinky.

I'm adorable.

Adorable people
don't need money.

Watch closely.

Excuse me, mr. Nice man,

But could you
spare some money-Wunny
for my friend and i--

Both: aah!
Godfrey daniels!

What miserably annoying
little mendicants.

Aah!
Aah!

Of course there will be
those rare freaks of nature

Who will remain
impervious to my charms.

[Crying]
pinky, stop
that crying immediately.

I can't help it, brain.

It's the onions.

"Your father is weak.

"He was weak
when i met him,
he's weak now,

And he'll
be weak tomorrow."

[Bette davis' voice]
"no, mommy dearest,

Daddy's a good man.

Ever so good."

"Perhaps, you're right.

"Nevertheless,
he's broke,

"And we're leaving him.

"By the way, i traded
in your cat bitzie

For a wooden coat hanger
this morning."

"Oh, mommy dearest.

Wah-Ha ha ha!"

Cut.

Thank you,
miss benzeweinger.

But there's another page.

Director: thank you.

I'll show you.

I'll show you all.

Another stinker.

We still haven't found
the next trudy simple.

But, f.L., we've
seen every 5-Year-Old
central casting has.

I don't want
central casting.

I want real.

I want a kid with heart.

I want a kid who knows
what suffering is.

I want...

boo-Hoo!
Wah!

Wah!

That kid!

[Door opens and closes]

"It is a beautiful
coat hanger, mommy dearest.

"You were right
to trade bitzie.

You're the smartest,
bestest mother
in the whole world."

Fantastic!

Stupendous!

I mean, uh, heh...

did you like her,
miss crawford?

You can't be serious!

She's stiff,
she's amateurish,

She's--

She's the most adorable
creature i've ever seen.

I knew it!

You're our girl!

You are a girl,
aren't you?

Actually,
i'm a lab mouse intent
on taking over the world.

Ha!

Great!

Und she does comedy, too.

Give me the studio chief.

Irving, this is fritz.

We have our star.

America's sweetheart...

little baby brain.

Miss brain, we're prepared
to offer you a 3-Picture deal

And $1 million.

I'll need 2 million.

What? Why,
you juvenile dillinger!

I oughta...

pinch your widdle cheeks,
you little munchkin.

All right, 2 it is.

Now, all i need
is for you

To give this contract
to one of your parents
to sign.

Uh...parents?

Well, yes.

We can't
expect a 5-Year-Old

To understand
all the big law words,
can we?

No, of course not.

Ah, mother pinky!

Did you call me, brain?

Meet irving thyroid,

The head
of zenith pictures,

Uh...mommy.

A sincere pleasure.

You should be very proud.

Oh, it's nothing,
really.

There's a whole stack
of lovely hats

Next to the water cooler
in the next room.

Oh.

No. I mean
of your daughter here.

Daughter?

Yes, pinky.
You're my mother,
and i'm your daughter.

Brain, is it really true?

Oh! This is the happiest
day of my life!

I've always
wanted a little girl.

Oh, dear, i think
i'm going to cry.

Poit! Ah-Pffft!

Pinky--Er--Mommy, no!

I'm sorry, mr. Thyroid.

Mommy gets emotional.

Uh, yeah.

That's ok, dear.

We'll write up
a new contract

And messenger it
this afternoon.

Come, pinky,

The nice man
has work to do.

Bye-Bye, irvy-Wurvy.

What a cutie!

[Crunch]
uhh.

Uhh! Ah!

Eh!

This is hooda hepper
on hollywood.

Tinsel town is a-Buzz
over pint-Sized newcomer

To our celebrity fold...
little baby brain,

America's sweetheart.

Here the tiny toe-Tapper is
seen taking her mother pinky

To the premiere
of her screen debut.

At a time
when our young people

Seem to have
forgotten the phrase,

"Respect your elders,"

Isn't it nice to see a child
dote on her mother so?

This has been hooda hepper
with hepper on hollywood.

Pinky: soup's on!

I'm not hungry, pinky.

Oh, but this
is your favorite, brain,

♪ cream of cream ♪

Anyway, i don't
have time to eat.

I'm due back on the set
in 3 minutes.

Well, eat something, brain.

There are starving children
at mgm.

No time, pinky.
No time.

The studio
is pushing

To make me
their number one
child star!

Well, here.
Wear a hat.

I don't need a hat.

But, brain,
it's chilly out.

And don't talk
to strangers!

Oh!

Ooh! Ah!

They grow up so fast.

♪ on the nice boat
candy cane ♪

♪ it's a short trip ♪

♪ to dental pain ♪

♪ 'cause everything's sweet ♪

♪ lots of candy things
for children to eat ♪

♪ try the caramel chairs ♪

♪ get your fill ♪

♪ be a candidate ♪

♪ for the dentist's drill ♪

♪ on marmalade seas ♪

♪ you're a cinch
for painful gum disease ♪

Chorus: ♪ oh,
the anchor is made ♪

♪ with a licorice braid ♪

♪ you can bet
that nothin's low-Cal ♪

♪ if you eat too much ♪

♪ uh-Oh ♪

[Drilling]

♪ better make time
for a root canal ♪

♪ on the nice boat
candy cane ♪

♪ better bring your ♪

♪ novocain ♪

♪ till then, i say ♪

♪ everyone aboard
for tooth decay ♪

A limousine has pulled up.

This could be the moment
we've been waiting for.

Yes, indeed,
it's little baby brain,

Looking cute as a button.

And, now, her escort
for the evening...

film star rickey mooney.

Oh, don't they make
an adorable couple?

Grrr!

So, goldilocks,
what's say me and you
ditch this dump

And take a long,
romantic drive?

I thought this was
just a publicity date.

Oh, but, baby, i want
you to be my best girl!

I'm afraid
that's impossible.

I'm only 2 years old.

Oh, boy, you're tall
for your age!

Hey, ava,
it's me--Rickey.

Wait up!

Wha! Oh!

Yah ha!

Back. Back,
you animals.

These people are savages.

Yes, cannibals gorging
themselves on the red
meat of celebrity.

Bloodthirsty huns
scavenging the field
of battle.

Yes.

Both: things
will be different

When i take over the world.

Welles, orson.

Brain...

the.

Pinky, i'm home.

Oh, there
you are, brain.

Poit! I was worried sick.

I was at
a publicity party,
pinky.

I told you i'd be late.

Well, you could
have at least called.

Your dinner is stone cold,
of course.

I already ate
at the puce fedora.

Pinky, what's
gotten into you?

Well, i'm sorry, brain.

Ever since you
fell in with this--
This hollywood crowd,

It seems like
you don't have time
for your own mother.

Pinky, you're
not my mother.

Oh...ohh! How
can you say that

After all
i've done for you?

Listen, maybe
you didn't grow up rich

Like all your
fancy new friends,

But i always put
food pellets on the table!

Zort!

Listen to me, pinky.

You're not my mother.

I just said
you were my mother

So they'd let me
work in the movies.

You know, you wouldn't
treat me this way

If i weren't a genetically
altered lab mouse!

But you are, pinky.

You are a genetically
altered lab mouse.

Now, repeat after me.

I am not your mother.

I am not your muh...

mother.

Good.

Tsk! Hmm hmm hmm.

So headstrong.

You get that
from your father.

Uhh!

[Click]

Mr. Thyroid,
little baby brain
and her mother

Are here to see you.

Go right in, ladies.

What do you think he
wants to tell us, brain?

He obviously
wants me to sign on
for more films, pinky.

He'll be devastated
when i tell him
i'm retiring.

Ladies, come in,
have a seat.

I was just reading
this morning's paper.

Well, don't
let us interrupt you.

Actually,
you might be interested

In hooda hepper's
column today.

Let me read it to you.

Uh, yadda yadda yadda,
blahdee blah.

Oh, crisp style.

"Sources report

"Seeing miss brain

"Raise her hand
to her own mother

"Inside their trailer
friday night,

"Insisting
to the distraught woman

"That they
were not related.

"And if you
think that's ugly,

"Take a gander
at these exclusive photos

"Showing little baby brain
without the wig and dimples

That suckered this reporter
into branding her
america's sweetheart."

Well?

Anything to say
for yourselves?

Yes. What's a 5-Letter word
for tree fungus?

Get out!



Um, no. That's 6 letters.

Narf!
Hold on.

I believe you
owe me $2 million.

Ha! You can't touch
that money for years.

What?

That's right.

Your mother signed contracts

Placing your earnings
in trust for you
until you're 21.

Maybe by then
you'll appreciate

What this woman's
done for you.

Pinky, is this true?

Yes, brain.

I just want you to have
the opportunities i never had.

Think of it--

You'll be the first
in our family
to go to college.

And the first
in our family
to go to sing sing

For doing you
grievous bodily harm!

Come, pinky.

If we leave now,

We can be home
by tomorrow night.

Why? What we doing
tomorrow night, brain?

Putting me
up for adoption,

And then trying
to take over the--

Ah ah ah ah ah!

Hold the door
for a lady, dear.

Yes, mother.

And don't mumble.

Yes, mother.

And stand up straight.

Yes, mother.

♪ they're pinky ♪

♪ they're pinky
and the brain ♪

♪ brain, brain,
brain, brain ♪

[Sighs]

You look sad, brain.

Perhaps a little.

Just taking
in the night, pinky.

So vast are the heavens,
this starry canopy.

To contemplate
the endless nature
of the universe

Is to acknowledge
one's own insignificance.

It's really dark, too,

With little
sparkly things. Narf!

Sometimes it
seems so burdensome,

So feckless.

Yes. It's completely
without feck.

Words have no meaning.

I'm left speechless.

I--I don't know
what to say.

I always know
what to say, brain.

Wha ha ha!

♪ just say narf ♪

♪ just say narf ♪

♪ when you aim to exclaim,
just say narf ♪

Yes. Always.
Aah!

♪ doesn't
make a difference ♪

♪ if you
shout or sing ♪

♪ it doesn't
mean anything ♪

♪ just say zort ♪

♪ just say poit ♪

♪ wear a hat,
kiss a fish ♪

♪ call detroit ♪
hello.

♪ now, you may be
a mouse who thinks ♪

♪ that life isn't fair ♪

♪ you get up
in the wheel ♪

♪ but you don't
go anywhere ♪

♪ at least you
didn't end up bein'
married to cher ♪

♪ just say narf,
just say narf ♪

♪ just say narf ♪

Oh, yes. It's obviously
been some delusion

'Caused by a combination
of iron deficiency

And a subconscious fear
of nincompoops.

Ha ha ha!
Aah!

♪ just say narf ♪

♪ just say narf ♪

It isn't even a word. Ow!

♪ it's right here
in roget's ♪

♪ just say narf ♪

♪ so what
if the numbers ♪

Don't make sense
on a chart? ♪

♪ who said you've
gotta be smart? ♪

♪ paint your nose ♪

♪ chill some flan ♪

♪ and remember
to pregrease the pan ♪

♪ a narf cannot explain ♪

♪ old newton's
gravity laws ♪

♪ it's absolutely useless ♪

♪ on linoleum floors ♪

♪ it isn't the solution ♪

♪ but it's sure
not the cause ♪

♪ just say narf,
just say narf,
just say narf ♪

[Music continues]

♪ just say narf ♪

♪ just say narf ♪

♪ just say narf ♪

Get down from there,
pinky.

Only if you say narf,
brain.

I am not going to utter that
nonsensical syllable, pinky.

Aah!

♪ just say narf ♪

♪ just say narf ♪

♪ just say narf ♪

See how simple
it is, brain?

You mean,
how simple you are.

Oh, all right.

Narf.

There, i said it.
Are you happy?

Don't you feel so much
better now, brain?

As a matter
of fact...

no!

Narf!