♪ Someone once told me th♪ On the other side. r ♪
♪ Well, I paid a visit
♪ While it's possible I missed it ♪
♪ It seemed different yet exactly the same ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
♪Till further notice♪
♪ Till further notice
♪I'm in between♪
♪ I'm in between
♪From where I'm standing♪
♪ From where I'm standing
♪ My grass is green.
♪ Someone once told me the grass is much greener ♪
♪ On the other side.
Very good, then, Principal Milton.
Will do.
See you first thing in the morning, then.
Principal Milty?
Oh, no-- what'd I do?
Milton and I were simply discussing
the particulars of my new job--
[voice slows and distorts]: teaching home economics
at Lucky Junior High.
[gasps]
Dodie, can you talk to us?
Could you tell us what's wrong?
[whimpering]
My... my mother teaching full-time
at Lucky... Junior High.
Got your thumb hooked under my collar bone there.
Would you please release?
Well, what's your mom teaching, Dodie?
What's the difference?
My mom is not fit to be around kids, Ginger.
I can confirm that.
Okay, okay.
Let's just play it out here.
Worst-case scenario.
Your mother gets a job teaching...
Home economics.
...home economics at Lucky Junior High.
Okay, then what?
She humiliates me by acting like a total crab at school.
Then what?
All the cool kids
who used to know me as nobody
now know me as the daughter of the total crab
who teaches Home Ec.
There-- is that so bad?
Yes! Yes!
A resounding yes!
[sighs in exasperation]
SALESMAN: Uh, anything tickle your fancy, sir?
Frankly, my fancy isn't all that ticklish to begin with.
Plus these stones are downright unimpressive.
Either the cut lacks brilliance
or the setting is tasteless.
How q*eer-- a discriminating nine-year-old.
I'm in my double digits, thank you very much.
Listen up, this ring is for a very special lady--
a very special lady--
so we're looking to be on the high end of the low end,
if you catch my drift.
Indeed I do, sir.
Might I suggest taking a peek at our back room.
It's where we house our more exclusive collection.
CARL: Now you're talking.
[whistles]: This way, Dave-O.
Right.
BLAKE: Carl Foutley.
Carl Foutley.
With our elementary years quickly drawing to a close,
why do I still find myself haunted by those same two words?
"Carl Foutley."
I know one thing for sure.
If I am to face the corridors of junior high
with one single scrap of dignity,
the score must be settled!
Uh, hi there, Lois.
You look lovely.
Say, would you do me the honor of becoming my wife?
Uh... there is a ring involved.
Okay, this is never going to work.
For starters, Mom's fingers are a lot fatter than mine.
This sucker barely fits me.
[grunting]
Oh, great-- it's stuck.
Uh, relax your knuckle, Carl.
Relax your... come on.
Relax your knuckle, son, do you hear me?
[grunting]
CARL: Ow!
Will that be cash or charge?
I'm just saying that's a small ring.
Never spaz, Dave-- I have a plan.
It involves fried chicken dinners, buttered popcorn
and this little baby slipping right through my fingers.
Then we get the ring resized
and you claim the Momster as your bride.
Yes.
It's just that...
well... there is one little step between buying the ring
and making the proposal.
What's that?
My mother.
I'm afraid your mother has to meet my mother.
Afraid?
Huh-- interesting choice of words.
Who's Josie?
Everyone called me Josie when I was a teenager.
Well, maybe they didn't, but I wanted them to.
But you're not a teenager.
J. Lo wears the cornrows, doesn't she?
I want to make sure the Courtney Griplings
and Miranda Killgallens stand up and take notice.
[voice rising]: Take notice of what, Mother?
Of Josie, of course.
It's never too late, Deirdre Hortense.
Uh, too late for what, Mother?
Hey, nice-looking rock, bro.
Mind if I take a gander?
Be my guest.
Ah, an emerald cut with three supplementary baguettes--
understated, yet elegant.
I'm sure...
Ms. Sussman will be delighted.
Whoever said this ring was for Noelle?
[eerie, echoing guffaws]
What's that awful sound?
It sounds like a middle-aged goat being slaughtered.
Tortured andslaughtered.
[eerie laughter continues]
DODIE: No, girls, you're both wrong,
for, you see, I'm afraid I know exactly what that sound is.
It is the infrequent, yet highly irritating sound
of my mother laughing.
[guffawing]
Girlfriend, if that Ian Richton were any cuter,
there'd be a cover charge
to watch him eat a burger in the cafeteria.
Okay?
Can I get a high five?
[silence]
What's everybody laughing about?
HTBT.
HTBT?
As in "Had To Be There,"
and you weren't.
Shame.
That Josie is too much.
Way too much.
HTBT?
She really said that?
Wow! That's messed up.
Did you call her on it, Dodie?
Did you tell her she hurt your feelings?
Josie's doing a better job of fitting in
than I ever did.
But in the end, he caved
and let me use that coupon
even though it had already expired.
And that was dope,
because trash bags can be mighty expensive, girlfriend.
High five on that?
[others laughing]
I'm not so sure, Dodie.
Kind of looks like they're laughingather
and notwithher.
Maybe my mom was a Courtney
back when she was my age.
Maybe those girls sense the popularity gene...
dormant, but alive within her.
I'm not certain she's with us anymore.
I could learn a lot from her.
[Ginger groans]
Noelle, forgive the preamble,
but I'd like to say that I deliver this unfortunate news
with the best of intentions.
You know I've always been quite fond of you.
Yeah, right.
That's why when I went to Lucky,
you invited every single kid
to your birthday parties except for me.
Oh... oh, Noelle, that was an oversight--
an annual oversight.
Whatever.
Right.
Let's see, then.
[gasps]
Do you know this creature?
Do I?
That's Polly Schuster-- part bird
and part snake.
Yes.
As you can see,
your boyfriend Carl is rather cozy with her.
The last thing I want to do is come between the two of you,
but I'm afraid there's more.
You see, just hours ago,
he was seen sporting a quality diamond engagement ring.
He told me in no uncertain terms
that it was not for you.
You... you think it's... for Polly?
That remains my firm belief, yes.
Double-crosser.
My deepest condolences are with you, Noelle,
for what I am sure is your darkest hour.
Oh!
I suggest you dump him before he dumps you.
No one is dumping anyone.
It ain't over till it's over, Gripling.
Just remember that!
I find your pigheadedness
both heartwarming and pathetic all at once.
Dr. Dave, there's a fibroid in room
with your name on it.
So it's really okay to have my mother over for dinner?
I mean, I've been wanting the two of you to meet for some time now.
Absolutely.
I'd love to meet the mother behind the doctor.
She competes for blood supply,
and in doing so, sucks the life out of her host.
Who does-- your mother?
[giggles nervously]
No, silly, the fibroid in room .
Oh.
Thank goodness.
You scared me there for a minute.
♪ 'Cause I'm your mama, that's why ♪
♪ Because I said so, hit it, boy ♪
♪ Because no means no
♪ Till I say it isn't so
♪ Ahh, 'cause I'm your mama, that's why ♪
♪ Don't you mess with your mama ♪
♪ Because I said so, hear me, boy ♪
♪ Mama know what she talking about ♪
♪ Don't you back-talk your mama ♪
♪ Because I said so, hear me, boy ♪
♪ 'Cause I'm your mama
[echoing]: ♪ I'm your mama, I'm your mama... ♪
DODIE: Mother, slow down.
Aren't you going to give me
a ride home?
Don't you "Mom" me in front of our peeps.
And I'm not going home.
Tell your father to start dinner.
I'm going with Miranda to her clarinet lesson,
and then I have to swing by Mipsy's
to help deep-condition her hair.
GINGER: Maybe Dodie's finally starting to come around.
She looked angry after school today
when her mom blew her off, and she should be.
With all due respect to JoAnn Bishop,
her alter ego Josie is a backstabbing,
social-climbing, popularity-obsessed wannabe.
And for as much as I love Dodie,
I think she has the potential to be a Josie
if she doesn't watch it.
MAN: And then you add some water, and see?
All the beautiful little mashed potatoes appear like magic.
Ha! It's fun when you make dinner, Dad.
Don't tell that to your mother.
You know how she feels about fun.
[Dodie sighs loudly]
What's wrong, pumpkin?
Dad, Mom must have been, like, a total popularity queen
in middle school or something,
because she attached herself to the cool girls
and she's treating me like she doesn't even know who I am.
Let me show you something, Dodie.
There.
That's Josie.
Miss Popularity?
That's Mom?
That's Josie McDonald.
She was the most popular girl in our middle school.
Here's your mother:
"Missed Popularity."
[giggles]
She looks just like you, Dodie.
Yeah.
Mother was obsessed with the cool crowd,
with fitting in, being popular,
and sometimes she did things that weren't so nice
just to achieve that.
Like what, Dad?
That's not important.
But my point is this:
Let your mother's lunacy be a lesson to you.
If you don't learn to accept yourself now,
you may never learn to accept yourself at all.
And if you don't accept yourself,
how will you ever be accepted into college?
That's a good point, Robert.
That's a very good point you just made.
Oh, what is taking Mother so long?
She can't be lost.
My directions were explicit.
Dave, doctor, buddy-- calm down.
You're going to blow the whole operation.
Why are you...
The ring, Carl-- the ring.
We can't let our mother see it.
Man, you are way too high strung.
Did you ever think of prescribing yourself something?
I'm not usually like this, Carl.
I just grossly underestimated
how nervous this situation would make me.
[doorbell rings]
[Dave gasps]
Ladies, to what do I owe this honor?
Greetings, and excuse us.
We're here to see Ginger.
[Noelle groaning]
I trusted you, Carl.
I trusted you.
BLAKE: Ah, you are a malleable one, Sussman.
You can thank me later, Foutley,
for destroying your relationship with Noelle!
[laughs evilly]
MRS. DAVE: Not much to look at from the outside.
Ditto for the inside.
Mother, it's so good to...
Your hair's too long,
your shirt's too small,
and I see a cavity forming on that back molar.
Lay off the sweets.
Greetings, Ginger.
What are you guys doing here?
We're here on urgent business regarding Dodie Bishop's mother.
Josie!
It's, like, who does she think she is?
She's attached herself to our crew
and we find ittrèsannoying.
[all repeating"très"]
Verytrès.
I know, but Dodie has convinced herself
that her mom is cool
and that you guys like hanging with her.
Cool?
I should say not.
I can't even say she's the opposite of cool, which is hot,
which she is not.
No, no, no, no, no.
Look, you guys.
I think Dodie needs to hear this with her own ears.
Do you mind?
Typically, when our group makes a secondary house call,
we not only bill for the house call,
but also for the travel time.
But it's the only way
to get Josie out of your hair.
COURTNEY: Done.
I reckon housekeeping duties fall by the wayside
when you're a working mom.
Yeah, well, you're more than welcome
to drag a mop across the floor there, Grandma.
Oh, hi, Mrs. Dave.
I'm Ginger, Lois's daughter.
Looking forward to dining with you
in the very near future.
Fried chicken, I understand,
for the health- conscious.
Mom's is the best.
From the looks of her, I don't doubt it.
Mom, can I please, please, please
run out to Dodie's for a minute?
I wouldn't ask
unless it was really important, which it is.
Take me with you.
[Dave laughing hysterically]
Oh, she's just kidding, Mother.
She's kidding.
She kids so often-- she really does.
Big kidder-- kiddy, kiddy, kidder.
The kidmeister.
You know, they call her that at work.
No, they don't.
Thanks, Mom.
I'll be back ASAP.
Later.
"Later"?
I reckon proper manners
must also fall by the wayside
when you're a working mom.
Should I ring the bell?
No!
Then we'll have to deal with Josie.
Let's toss a pebble at her window,
like they do in the movies.
Here, let me.
No, no, no-- I can do it.
[pebble ricochets off window]
Ow!
Oh, my eye!
Shh! Josie might hear you.
But it's bleeding.
That was positively exhilarating.
Let's have another go.
[pebble taps window]
MIPSY: Ow!
[inaudible]
The popular girls!
The A-list.
They're all right there on my lawn.
This is it!
Do not vie for their acceptance, Dodie.
Do not be a Josie.
For if you don't learn to accept yourself now...
HOODSEY [in distance]: How are you ever going to get accepted into college!
That's right.
[sighs]
That's exactly right.
Hello, Ginger.
Courtney, Miranda.
Mipsy, Missy, Mindy, Traci, Stacey,
Casey, Donna, Diva, Dina and Hope.
Nice to see you all.
I do my homework
in an oversized "Farewell Froggy" T-shirt
and stripey leggings.
Now you know.
Yes.
Dodie, I brought these girls over here
because...
Let me cut right to the chase.
It's getting late and Mipsy needs to be seen by a doctor.
Now, Ginger has told me that you are under the false impression
that we girls enjoy hanging with your mother.
And we don't.
No.
We don't appreciate her trying
to "walk the walk, talk the talk,"
or pull off wearing a frayed jean skirt
when she's clearly in her s.
[group cackles]
Oh, wow.
You see, Dodie?
They don't think your mom is cool.
That's fine.
My mother doesn't need to be cool.
And neither do I.
Is that all?
Basically.
Can we go now?
Dodie, wait.
Are you okay?
I'm more than okay, Ginger.
I confronted the popular girls
and I stood my ground.
Now I just have to confront my mother.
Oh, you're one brave girl, Bishop.
Oh, I got to run
before I get in trouble withmymother.
Drop my "Popular in Peach" nail color, Mother.
This is an intervention.
What?
You're not Josie McDonald,
and you'renotcool.
And I'm not cool either!
How do you know about her?
Dad showed me your junior high school yearbook.
Do you really think those popular girls
are better than we are?
Because I don't.
Not anymore.
I, uh...
I guess sometimes girls like us,
we... we get so wrapped up in wanting to be liked,
that, uh... well, we forget to like ourselves.
And I suppose that's what's most important after all.
So let's try to remember that, shall we?
Both of us.
There's something else important
to remember, Mom.
Where teenagers are concerned,
the best rule is this: One per household,
and I've pretty much got it covered.
Yes, I see that.
Thanks for being so understanding, Mom.
We should have mother-daughter talks like this more often.
I did it!
I did!
I had an open, honest conversation with my mother.
I didn't back down
and she didn't yell at me.
Major milestone.
This could be the start of something good.
JoANN: Oh, for goodness sake, Deirdre.
Turn down the volume on that mouthpiece of yours.
I can barely hear myself think.
Oh, well-- at least she's back to normal...
whatever that means.
Frankly, it's a little pinkish for poultry.
Can I butter your biscuit for you?
CARL: Mom!
GINGER: Sorry I'm late, everyone.
Whew, I'm starved.
Well, mission accomplished,
you'll be glad to know.
Really?
What mission is that, Ginger?
Well, it's like this.
Dodie's Mom was totally embarrassing her at school
but Dodie, who has never confronted her mom
about anything, tried to just convince herself
that it was a good thing,
even though her mom was being really rude
and hurting her feelings.
Mmm, this is really good chicken, Mom.
Thank you, Ginger, but please,
go on with the story of the interfering mother
who nearly sabotaged her own child's happiness.
Oh, right.
Well, the good news is,
tonight Dodie finally mustered the courage
to talk to her mom
about the things that were bothering her.
And it's about time.
I mean, we're almost high school freshmen, you know.
High school freshmen, indeed.
Now, listen here, Mother...
GINGER: Something's burning.
LOIS: Oh, holy cannoli.
[coughing]
[making strange karate yells]
Noelle.
Honey, baby.
What are you doing here?
Is this the big engagement dinner
where you ask her to marry you?
Well, is it?
Really good chicken, Ms. Foutley.
Thank you.
Now, what are you talking about?
Don't bother trying to deceive me.
Gripling told me everything.
I know about the lies, about the love,
about the diamond engagement ring.
ALL: What diamond engagement ring?
[making karate yells]
I bought that ring.
And I can explain.
Explain why you bought my son
a diamond engagement ring?
You'd better!
Oh, well... the...
the ring is not for Carl, Lois.
It's... [clears throat]
It's for you.
MRS. DAVE: David!
I bought that ring
so that I could propose to you, Lois.
But I was afraid of what my mother would say
and that's why I wanted her to meet you first.
I'll tell you what I'd say.
Mother, please.
I love this woman, and her children,
and her burnt buns.
And so, Lois,
when I pry that ring off your son's finger
and have it cleaned and resized...
will you marry me?
Oh, Dr. Dave.
[makes karate noises]
I... I think.
If it's all the same, I'd...
I'd like to answer off-camera.
♪ But I'm of the mind
♪ That if she's so inclined
♪ It might help seal the deal
♪ Diamonds are expensive
LOIS: ♪ Diamonds are impressive
DAVE: ♪ They are sparkly but expensive ♪
LOIS: ♪ Sparkly and impressive
DAVE: ♪ Diamonds are expensive
LOIS: ♪ Impressive
DAVE: ♪ Expensive
LOIS: ♪ Impressive...
JoANN: And that was dope.
03x06 - About Face
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Series focuses on a junior high school (later high school) girl named Ginger Foutley who, with her friends, tries to become more than a social geek.
Series focuses on a junior high school (later high school) girl named Ginger Foutley who, with her friends, tries to become more than a social geek.