03x01 - Moments in Love, Chapter 1

[bunniefuu]

[alarm beeping]

[grunts]

[clears throat and turns alarm off]

[exhales deeply]

[rooster crows]

[water trickling from faucet]

[chickens clucking]

[softly] Hey. I'm going.

All right, babe. Have a good one. [groans]

All right. Let's just have a little…

-Babe, come on, man. Come on, babe.
-[giggles]

-Seriously?
-Little cuddle before I go.

-Okay. Love you.
-Love you, too.

Okay. Okay. Okay.

[footsteps receding]

[grunts]

[car door opens and closes]

[engine starts]

[typing]

[laughing]

What does she hear?

Just that good.

[both laughing]

-[talking indistinctly while laughing]
-Oh, gosh.

[both continue laughing
and talking indistinctly]

["Everybody Everybody"
by Black Box playing]

♪ Set it free ♪

♪ Set it free ♪

♪ When I said it was over
You aimed at my heart ♪

♪ Won't be long for
I'm leaving, oh, my love ♪

♪ But I feel it forever
No time in my life ♪

♪ You can call that no livin' on my own
So free ♪

♪ Everybody, everybody ♪

♪ Oh, everybody ♪

♪ Everybody ♪

♪ Everybody, everybody ♪

-♪ Everybody ♪
-♪ Everybody, everybody ♪

[laughs]

[singing] ♪ Look, oh ♪

♪ Hit it
Oh, you want? ♪

♪ She's got it going on
She's k*lling it in the streets ♪

[laughs]

♪ Hey ♪

[vocalizing]

[chuckles] Oh, sh*t.

♪ Everybody, everybody ♪

♪ Oh, everybody
Oh, everybody ♪

Ooh.

[trash can opens and closes]

[toothbrush vibrating]

-[vibrating stops]
-[spits]

-[blows]
-[snorts]

-That made me laugh.
-[snorts and laughs]

[exhales]

What you readin'?

-Hmm. Sherlock.
-[sighs]

Such a white book.

Is that right?
Anything whiter is like Lord of the Rings.

Yeah, that's really Caucasian.

True dat.

Don't you hate
when the smoke get in your eye?

-Damn.
-Mmm-mmm.

No, 'cause you… [blows]
You gotta propel it.

-I know. Sometimes I f*ck up.
-I don't know. [chuckles]

You need to just…
Just a little bit more. Just…

I feel like a baby bird.

[breathing deeply]

Babe? Babe? You asleep?

-Mmm.
-Mmm?

-Ish.
-Hmm.

I can't sleep.
You wanna watch that, um, TV show?

-Happy Valley?
-Um…

If we do, then I'm gonna be up
watching it till 4:00 a.m.,

and I gotta get some sleep
'cause I got that interview tomorrow.

-Hmm. I forgot. Okay.
-Mmm-hmm.

-No worries.
-Sorry. But I love you.

-[Alicia] I love you so much.
-Mmm-hmm.

Okay, wait. Because I just have
a really quick question for you.

-Mmm-hmm.
-It's gonna just take a second. Right.

I want you to think
about this properly deeply.

Mmm-hmm?

Say if a publisher,
your publisher, comes up to you,

"Oh, no, Denise."

"Got this huge opportunity,
five book deal, mega deal."

"It's gonna be a franchise,
turn into movies, gonna be huge." Right?

-Hmm.
-All you gotta do is you've gotta…

[chuckling] You've gotta lick her armpits
every day for a… for a year.

Would you do it?

Yes, I would do it.
Can we go back to sleep now?

Yeah, okay.
I just wanted to know that you wanted it.

Yes, I do. I wanna be successful.
Like that Drake and Trey Songz.

[laughs] That's good to know.
Good night, baby.

[laughing] Okay, wait.
I just have one more question, one more.

What the f*ck, man? Jesus.

Okay, okay.

You know how I get when I'm sleepy.

This is a serious one.

To save my life, yeah?

[Denise] Mmm-hmm.

Would you lick someone's armpit
every day for the rest of your life?

[laughing]

Every day, you have to lick…

How old are you in this scenario?

It starts from now.
Like, 34, for the rest of our lives.

Is this a hostage situation?
Is that what's happening?

Yeah, they're gonna k*ll me, babe.

What kinda… Is the armpit sweaty?

-Yeah, it's so sweaty.
-Is there anti--

Nasty, like, a dirty armpit.

-Is there, like, organic deodorant?
-Yeah, man, it stinks.

Antiperspirant.

Every single day
for the rest of your life.

Look, I want you to be here,
I want you to be alive, so I'm down.

-I'm down to do it.
-Oh, my God.

Because that's how deeply
committed I am to you.

-Baby…
-Yes.

Thank you so much.

Now, will you please close your eyes
and drift off into dreamland.

I'm happy now.

-I'll sleep.
-Okay, great. Thank you. Perfect.

[Alicia] Okay. Oh, my God.

Makes me feel so good about myself.

-Now, I'm up. Now, I can't…
-[laughs]

[clucking]

Is that my divas?

I know, man. What's up?

I see you. I see you.

What's up? Don't run away from me.

Tina! Tina.

What's up?

Uh-oh. What's up, Chaka?

Don't be mad, Chaka.

Oh, you still mad at Patti?

Uh-huh. I don't know
when that feud gonna die.

Yeah, there you go.

Mmm-hmm. Mmm-hmm.

I see you. Yeah, you want that.

[to the tune of "I'm Every Woman"]
♪ I'm every chicken ♪

♪ It's all in you… ♪

Get it. [grunts]

[doorbell rings]

-[Denise] What's up?
-[woman] Hey, Denise.

Nice to meet you. Lauren.

-Wow. It smells lovely.
-[Denise] Oh, thank you.

[Lauren] Thank you.

-What a beautiful home.
-Thanks so much.

Oh, fire, everything…

So, uh, what's a typical morning
like for you?

Um, you know, wake up, have breakfast.
Maybe smoke some weed.

What do you usually have for breakfast?

[chuckles] Um, I don't know.
It depends on the day. I think…

What'd you have this morning?

I don't really know, like,
the relevance of, uh, the breakfast order.

-You know?
-I'm sorry.

I'm just trying to get
a sense of your character,

who you are as a person.

Yeah, yeah. I just don't know if, uh,

what kind of eggs I eat in the morning
is gonna give too much insight into that.

Right.

-Um, okay, then… let's talk about writing.
-[softly] Okay.

How's your next book coming along?

I mean, it's coming.

Yeah, it's a process, though, I think.
Especially with books.

And I think the last one did well,

so now there's this weird pressure

for this new one to do
better than that one. [chuckles]

And I think, honestly, I'm just trying
to get it done and put it out there,

and, you know, see what happens.

Okay.

-[Alicia] Sorry to interrupt. I just…
-Hey, babe.

-[Alicia] Really quickly. Sorry.
-[Denise] You're good.

I'm Lauren. Um, are you Alicia?

Uh, yeah. Nice to meet you.

Would you mind if we speak?
Just some background.

Uh, I'm not really a public person.

-Come on.
-Is that okay?

-I welcome it. Please.
-[chuckles] Thank you so much.

-Come on, babe.
-[Alicia] Okay.

Um…

-So, what do you do for a living?
-[chuckles]

Um, I…

I'm trying to get into interior design.

So, at the moment,
I'm working at an antique store.

[Lauren] Oh!

That makes sense.
You have so many nice pieces.

-Oh, thank you.
-I wanted to know about this one.

Oh. [chuckles]

That's actually one of my favorites.

Um, yeah, her name is Goldie Williams.

She was a sex worker
in the late 1800s in Nebraska.

Anyway, she gets arrested for…
I don't know what she gets arrested for.

-And, um, this is her mug sh*t.
-[laughs]

And apparently, the policemen were like,
um, "You gotta keep a straight face."

-She was just like, "I don't wanna."
-[laughs]

[chuckles] So, yeah, I love it.
She's got the gold hoops,

she's rebellious, kinda looks like
one of my aunties, so… Yeah.

-That's a lovely story.
-[chuckles] Thank you.

How did you guys meet?

-Mmm.
-Um, through a mutual friend.

Uh, they were having a birthday,
so we wound up there.

-Yeah.
-Same night.

And you came…
She came up to me, and she was like,

"Hey, aren't you that scientist?"
Or something like that?

Scientist?

-I had a better line than that, probably.
-[chuckles]

Probably. Yeah.
I used to dabble in, um, in chemistry.

-Please. She had a PhD in chemistry.
-Yeah.

-Oh!
-[both chuckle]

She's smarter than me.
That's what she's trying to hide.

-I'll just keep that to my…
-Don't conceal it.

-[chuckles]
-Hmm.

Yeah. No, I, I used to do chemistry.

I loved it.
I still think it's really beautiful.

But, um, the work environment,
it just really didn't work for me,

and I just decided
to switch into interior design,

-which is, like, weird, but…
-Hmm.

So you're smart.

Do you ever help your wife with her work?
You're an early reader?

Well… This one time you read something,

and you gave me a bunch of notes
that I did not necessarily agree with.

-You didn't.
-I respected them.

-Did you?
-I respected the notes.

Didn't necessarily want to take them.

So anyways, after that, 'cause we just…

-We were tight for about three days.
-[chuckles] We were.

And we decided,
"Let's keep it church and state."

I won't tell you what antiques to buy.

Don't tell me how
to develop my characters.

And we'll just be at peace and happy.

-[Alicia] Mmm-hmm.
-[Denise] Uh-huh. Yeah.

[Alicia laughing] It was the last warning.

[doorbell ringing]

-[Denise] What's up, boo?
-[Dev] What's up? How are you?

-[Denise] Good to see you.
-[woman] Hi. So good to meet you.

-[Denise] So good to meet you.
-[Dev] Reshmi.

[Denise] How was the drive?
I know it's a ways out.

-[Dev] Not too bad.
-[door closes]

-[Denise] Y'all can hang your coats here.
-[Dev] Okay.

Yeah.

[Reshmi] Wow. This is beautiful.

Ready to hang. Let's do it.

Oh, my God! This is cozy central.
Are you kiddin' me?

[Denise] Shawty got the Cribs tour.

-[Dev] You done good!
-[Denise] Thanks, boo.

[Dev] I feel like I'm on Walden Pond.
Reshmi, look at this.

-[Reshmi] It's incredible.
-[Dev] This is nuts!

Stop using big words.
You bought some sh*t?

[laughs]

-Yeah.
-What did you buy?

Bought some… Like, three sets
of very nice, very nice pajamas.

Ooh!

You're gonna enjoy them
as much as I am gonna enjoy them.

You bought her pajamas?

-No, no. For me.
-Okay.

-I don't wear regular pajamas.
-She don't.

I love putting on pajamas
before I go to bed.

-Thank you!
-It's so good.

Uh-huh. Thank you.

Why're you gettin' dressed up
and elegant to go to bed?

-Yeah, I just wanna be cozy.
-That's right.

-But you can still look nice and be cozy.
-Coziness.

I look lit.
I could wear this to bed right now,

wake up, eat some cereal, go to a meeting,
come back, and go back to bed.

-I'm good to go.
-It's a whole process.

See, I'm into this.
Like, just full coziness all day.

-All day long.
-Oh, you're missing out.

Society has trained us
to think we gotta wear stuff

that doesn't feel comfortable.

This also works as a pajama shirt.

We can be like Denise
and be comfortable all day.

You wear this old shirt to bed
with loads of holes in it.

Those holes let it breathe!

-I told you this.
-Oh, God!

That's amazing.

No. You guys are crazy.

[laughing]

Get where we at.

-It is like that. A sheer…
-Is it just like…

-No. This is elegant, that is not.
-[laughing]

Jesus. Yo, babe, the food is kickin'.

-Oh, it is so good.
-Yes.

-Really good.
-[Alicia] Thanks.

-I haven't even…
-Pleasure.

…said it because I've been
in a trance with these flavors.

-Oh, my gosh.
-I could keep eating forever.

-Thank you.
-She kills it.

You still in the kitchen?

You know, I dabble here and there.

Oh, my God.
Seriously, his cooking is incredible.

No, don't do it. She's my biggest fan.

Yeah, I am!

-He cooks delicious food.
-I'm waiting on that pasta.

-Let's have pasta.
-Next time, we'll bring…

-Bring them pasta.
-We'll do that next time.

Yeah, for sure.

-You're so modest.
-Y'all are cute together.

-Now, you're gonna embarrass us?
-We're cute together.

I see the color coordination.

Thanks. Are these from the garden?
They're so good.

Yeah, they are nice.

Mmm. That's the dream, to have a garden

just to pick stuff
from outside and cook it.

[Alicia] Yeah.

We gotta make do with the farmers market.

Yep. And getting yelled at
for buying too many purple carrots.

-Oh, you're gonna rehash that one?
-Well…

All right. Every week,
we go to the farmers market.

This one pulls out the tote bag,
just starts goin' in.

Like, I don't know who's comin' over.

-And everything purple is goin' in.
-[chuckling]

Purple carrots,
purple potatoes, purple yams.

At the end of the week,
it's in the trash. Nothing's cooked.

When you buy stuff
we throw away, it's different?

I buy stuff that goes in the trash, too.
But I try to buy less, I try to adapt.

Oh. Okay. Well, I'll follow your lead,
Mr. Adaptation.

That market in Queens
isn't that great anyway.

Queens? What y'all doing in Queens?

Um, we live there.

Wait, he didn't tell you
we've been living with his parents?

[chuckles]

Um, yeah. I mean,
I guess I didn't mention it 'cause, uh…

I mean, whatever, yeah,
we're just there for couple months.

[chuckles]

It is mighty cozy, the four of us
living in that little house. [chuckles]

-Can we help with the dishes?
-No, man, she loves doing that sh*t.

-I'll help clear the table.
-[Alicia] I love doing dishes.

-[Denise] You do it better.
-A little bit. [chuckling]

-Here you go.
-Thanks, lovely.

[Reshmi] Oh. I'm reading this right now.

Oh, yeah, I just finished it a week ago.
It's really good.

Oh. You're reading it?
No, she got the audiobook.

She's listening to it in the background

while she's online shopping
for used clothes.

So? It's the same thing. I'm reading.

I'm just ingesting
the material differently.

[scoffs] All right. Well, I feel like
all you're ingesting is them deals.

You know what came on TV
the other day? The Sickening.

-Oh, no.
-[chuckles] What's The Sickening?

It's a lame virus movie he got cut out of.

Well, how's auditioning going?
You still acting and stuff?

Um… [sighs]

Kind of. You know,
I'm on NCIS Brooklyn right now--

You're on NCIS Brooklyn? [chuckles]

He's an assistant
in the accounting department.

You should've gotten those hair plugs.

[Alicia] Uh, what?

Well, I'm just saying,
his hair is thinning.

If he'd gotten the hair plugs
when I told him to,

he'd have a full head of hair,
and still be acting.

-Where would I get money for the plugs?
-Maybe ask your parents.

They're not spending money
on their tiny house.

Oh, my God, will you stop saying
they have a tiny house?

Your parents are very wealthy,

and your frame of reference
for house size is really off.

And by the way, we stayed at their place,

the palatial estate in Chicago,
and you know what happened?

They asked us to leave.

So, yeah, my parents' house is smaller,
but their hearts are bigger.

Jesus. You're talking about hair plugs.

That seemed like a cool subject
for… for me and my friends?

Well, I'm just saying
maybe you should have listened to me.

Should've tried using the drops.

The drops! I knew the drops were comin'.

The f*cking drops.

[groans] No one uses the drops,
for the millionth time.

And the Marvel guys are not using drops.

They're spending thousands of dollars
on a complicated surgery

where they drill holes in your head
and shove new hair in there. Okay?

God!

[sighs in frustration]

I'm sorry, guys.
This is not appropriate, and I apologize.

I'm… I'm sure you're very uncomfortable.
And what's so sad is that we are not.

This is just our vibe. This is Tuesday.

We do this sh*t all the f*cking time.

I don't know why. What are we doing?
You know what it is?

I think… I think we're just scared
to go back out there

'cause we don't have sh*t goin' on.

I can't go back out there now and be like,

"Hey, wanna date a part-time TaskRabbit?"

I mean, speak for yourself.
I got sh*t going on.

Really? What sh*t you got goin' on?

Oh, the business idea?
Oh, yeah, please tell 'em.

[chuckles] Tell 'em.
Maybe they'll wanna invest.

-Okay, I will.
-Yeah.

You know when you go out of town,
and your plants need watering?

Plant sitters! Yeah, that's it.

Spend 80 bucks a month

so Reshmi and her friends
can come over and go… Boop!

-[Denise] What the f*ck?
-It's a real thing, so f*ck you, man.

Yeah, maybe it's real,

maybe it's the biggest
untapped market in America.

But I'll tell you this,

you and your clown caravan of friends
is not gonna figure it out.

Every day,
she comes home at 7:00, and it's like,

"We're still, like,
working out the kinks on the model."

Well, it smells like you've been working
on a cheap magnum of Chardonnay.

So maybe that should be the motto.
"We got wine breath."

Wow.

It's nice to know what
you actually think of me.

Excuse me.

-I'm gonna go and check on her.
-[Denise] Mmm-hmm.

-I'm sorry.
-It's all right.

Do you want a glass of water?

No, I'm fine.

I'm so embarrassed. I'm so sorry.

I didn't mean to bring
our bullshit into your home.

You don't need to do that.

Is there anything I can do?

No, I don't think so.

This is… not where I thought
my life would be right now. [scoffs]

I just feel like I should be
thinking about having kids,

I should be married,
I should be having a great career.

I just feel like I wasted
so much time thinking,

"It'll happen. It'll happen.
One day, it'll happen."

And then, I don't know what happened.

And I have no idea how to start again.

It's just impossible.

God, I'm so sorry.
You do not have to deal with this.

It's fine. It's fine.

What the f*ck, man?

The night was going so well.

So much brown-on-brown love.
That was beautiful.

Then y'all started arguing
like Whitney and Bobby.

You live with your parents now? In Queens?

Why am I just finding out about this?

'Cause you never call me anymore.

We're not the same friends we used to be.

Once you became this big success,

you made all these new friends,

and I didn't make the cut.

[scoffs] There is no cut
when it comes to you, Dev.

We're family, man.

But you've got to call me.

You gotta tell me
what's going on with you.

It's just hard.

You're doing so well,

and I'm doing so bad.

It's embarrassing.

You're just in a valley right now.

I used to be in a valley.

Remember when I was working for those
whack magazines pretending to be a writer?

I climbed out of that.

You can, too.

We used to have it so good.

Runnin' around New York,
doing whatever we wanted,

-having fun every day.
-[chuckles]

Mmm.

I never realized… how good I had it.

[Alicia sighs]

That was brutal, man.

Yeah. It's crazy
'cause the night started out so great.

Hmm.

Then it got a little weird,
then it got super awkward,

then it was just sad.

But me and Dev
had a good heart-to-heart though.

-Yeah?
-Yeah.

It was nice.
What was his lady saying back there?

Um…

That she was scared

that her life wasn't gonna go
the way she planned it.

-What?
-[chuckles] Nothin'.

You being all sad and melancholy.

Every time a couple argues in front of us,
you think it's contagious.

I'm fine. I'm fine!

Now your voice is goin' up eight octaves.

-It's not going… I'm fine.
-I don't believe you. We're good.

I know we're good.

Don't let them project
that crazy energy onto us.

This brown-brown love's gonna work.
Come here. No, no. Come on.

-Yes.
-Okay.

Okay. I'm good.

-You promise?
-Mmm-hmm. Mmm.

-All right.
-Okay.

I'm gonna go, uh… to bed.

-I'll see you up there.
-Yeah.

[exhales deeply]

[typing]

Babe! You coming up soon?
I got a surprise for you.

I gotta do this call real quick.
I'll be up soon, okay?

Okay.

Babe, you comin' up?

Yeah. I just got a couple more calls.

[sighs]

[smacks lips] f*ck this.

[Denise speaking indistinctly]

[Denise] God damn, that's early.

sh*t. I don't wanna get up that early
to talk about books, man.

People gonna be fallin' asleep.

Okay. All right. Okay. 9:30?

Fine, I'll be there at 10:00.

'Cause it ain't gonna
really start till 10:00.

All right. Who all gonna be there?

Who gonna be on the panel?

What? No. Hell… Hell no!

I'm not doin' it.
'Cause he don't have nothin' to say.

-And every time I say something good…
-[sighs]

…he remixes it,

says it, and then he always
gets the round of applause.

That's not cool.
He be stealing my applause, bro.

Babe?

Mmm-hmm?

Can we talk about something,
um, serious for a second?

Uh, whoa.

How serious?
Just 'cause I'm, like, a little high.

And I wanna make sure I can follow you.

It's not that crazy.
But, you know, somethin'.

Okay. All right.
Sure, sure, sure. Go ahead.

Okay. 'Cause I wanted to talk
about us having a baby.

Why would we talk about that right now?

'Cause you said,
"Let's talk about it in a year."

It's almost been a year.

-Has it been a year?
-Mmm-hmm. It's been about ten months.

Oh, so it's been ten months.
That's not technically a year, though.

[chuckles]

I mean, but, like,
we can talk about it. I'm just…

I don't know.
I feel, like, ten months ago,

everything was so different.

Like, I wasn't a New York Times
bestselling author.

I didn't think I'd be working
on a second book right now,

which is k*lling me 'cause it's not
coming as fast as I would like.

I just really wanna focus on that.

I don't f*cking know.
Look, I just think we should wait…

I don't want you to say that.
I know what you're gonna say.

-I don't want you to say that.
-How you know what I'll say?

-I ain't said it yet.
-I know. I just know.

-What you think I'm gonna say?
-You'll say let's wait another year.

-See? That's not what I was gonna say.
-What are you gonna say?

I was gonna say,
let's wait until the dust settles.

[laughing]

-Oh, my gosh. That's…
-Okay, I'm funny now. Really?

No. You know what? All I'm saying is
I don't wanna be 52 and pregnant.

I'm 34-years-old.
My ovaries, they're starting to get stale.

Not the ovaries sh*t again. No.

-Yep.
-No, no, no.

We not talking about your ovaries.

'Cause you got the head wraps goin',

you only eat natural
fruits and berries, all right?

Your ovaries are gonna be lit!

No, look. Let me just paint
a picture for you, right.

Say if we wanted to have a kid,
and you tell me next year,

"Babe, I'm ready for a kid now."

We still gotta wait
nine months for that baby.

So I'm just saying, for that eventuality,
let's start preparing now.

That's all I'm saying.
Let's just start thinking about it.

Okay. All right. Um, well, I don't even
know how to go get some sperm.

Do we go to a f*cking sperm bank

and see all these white dudes
jerking off into f*cking solo cups?

We don't need to. I've thought of a donor.

-Who?
-Darius.

-What? Light-skin Darius?
-Th… Darius, Darius.

With the weird hair
and the weak immune system?

He's not got a weak…

He's strong, tall,
handsome, intelligent, kind.

-Oh, my God.
-He's got a good energy about him.

Darius.

I don't…

Okay. I'm not mad at Darius.

-Yeah.
-Um, he is well read.

-Mmm-hmm.
-Cool. I mean, but how do we even ask him?

Do we text him and say,

"You wanna come over for dinner
and then sh**t the club up for dessert."

-[chuckles] No.
-I don't know…

No. Look.
We do invite him around for dinner.

Okay.

And we just, like, propose the thing.

If he says no, okay. Whatever.

If he says yes, then we'll just…

Yeah. Then what? Then, if he says yes…

-We'll think about…
-…this sh*t will move fast.

…the next step. Take it really slow.

Think about the next step.
What we wanna do, you know…

So, we'll think
about the next step if he says yes.

We'll think
about the next step if he says yes.

Okay, I guess I'm, I'm… cool with that.

-Are you cool?
-Yes.

Yes! [laughing]

Yes!

-[Denise] Oh, my God.
-[giggling and exclaiming]

-You lucky I love your ass.
-Yeah, I am.

'Cause I'm about to stress my ass out.

-Thank you!
-[sighs]

Oh, man. I was scared.

-I was scared.
-You ain't gotta be scared.

Well, how do we celebrate
inviting Darius over to give us his sperm?

Shall I take off my head wrap?

That would be nice. Let me get some weed.

sh*t. I gotta relax my mind.

-I'm stressed out. sh*t.
-[sighs] Okay.

"Serious" is never
a good way to start a conversation.

-God damn.
-[chuckles] It's pretty serious.

[Denise] There's a little bit
of this left. Where's my lighter?

[Darius] That was incredible.

-[Denise] Yeah.
-[Alicia chuckles]

[Darius] Where did you get this recipe?

[Alicia] Uh, I found it off
a vintage cookbook, actually.

It's delicious.

-You are spoiled over here.
-Oh, I know. I know, man.

[all chuckle]

So, uh, I don't know if this is
the appropriate time to bring it up,

but what was it
you two wanted to talk to me about?

Yeah.

-Mmm-hmm.
-[clears throat] Um…

Okay, so we… we've been talking
about starting a family,

and, um, we were thinking about donors,

um, and we were thinking that…

maybe you could be our donor? [chuckles]

-Are you being serious?
-Yeah.

[Alicia] Mmm.

Oh, wow. [chuckles]

-I'm so flattered.
-Yeah.

Yeah, yeah. We know
it's a lot to process, you know, so…

No, I'm in. Uh, I'd be thrilled to do it.

-What?
-Yeah.

You're… [laughing]

What? You're… That is so quick. [laughing]

You guys both mean a lot to me,

and to be a part of something like that,
it would be an incredible honor.

-Seriously.
-My gosh.

-[chuckles]
-Wow.

Sure you don't wanna sleep on it, or…

No. You guys
are gonna be incredible parents.

And if I can help with that, I mean, uh…
[chuckling] Why would I not do that?

We think you're amazing, and we've…
Like, thank you so much.

Seriously, I'm so touched
you guys would even think of me.

-[sighs and chuckles]
-It was either you or Busta Rhymes.

[both laugh]

[chuckling] Wow.

Uh, listen, so what are the next steps?

Do we need to go
to the hospital or something?

-Okay, uh, all right. So sorry, no.
-You can come over here.

Yeah. You would come over here, um,
because hospitals are really expensive.

So we could just do it here.

-Here?
-Yeah.

[hesitates] Uh, how would that work?

Well, you basically come over

and then you would…
You would make your contribution. Your…

Donation.

Your donation to the cause
and then, um, we would take it from there.

Uh, well, that would work. [chuckles]

Yeah. Yeah, it might.

-Yeah.
-It's possible.

This is awesome.

-Yeah.
-I feel like we all need a group hug.

Yeah. That would make it less awkward.

-Please.
-Can we have a group hug?

-[Denise] Yes, man.
-Get in here.

Thank you.

-This is amazing.
-Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh.

-Wow. Okay, um, bubbly?
-Yeah.

-Yeah?
-Hell yeah.

-I'll stick to Sprite.
-We'll celebrate.

[chuckling] Light-skin Darius.
Coming through.

[both chuckle]

-A baby.
-[exhales]

That's awesome. [chuckles]

[water running from faucet]

I can't believe he said yes so quickly.

Yeah, me neither.

But I don't mind him being the donor.

-Yeah?
-Yeah.

-You like him?
-Mmm-hmm.

[sighs] Okay, uh, I guess
I'll just talk to our lawyers,

and we'll just
keep the ball rolling from there.

Okay. But where does
the ball roll to next?

Does he come over and release
a load in one of our tea cups?

[laughing]

You're silly.

Wait. You're into this?
Like, we can do this?

Yeah. Yeah, I'm into it. I wanna do it.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

-[exhales]
-[sighs]

-We gotta be careful 'bout the toys.
-[Alicia] Yes.

'Cause I was a lesbian
straight out the gate.

I wanted trucks,
or Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

[chuckles] Yeah.

Instead my mom came with a Addy doll.

What's a Addy doll?

[scoffs] It's this thing
called American Girl.

So, they kinda teach you
about history and sh*t.

-So they had to have a Black one.
-[chuckles] Yeah.

And of course the Black one was a sl*ve.

-Yes. I had a sl*ve doll.
-You had a sl*ve doll?

We had matching dresses.

I was like, "Ma, are you not
paying attention? I'm a lesbian."

-That's weird.
-It's crazy.

Yeah, speakin' of sl*very,

how are we gonna introduce
our baby to like, racism and sh*t?

-Early. I don't want no little O.J. baby.
-[chuckling] Yeah.

We gotta talk to 'em. We can't have our
kids talkin' 'bout, "America is great."

-[Alicia] No, we can't.
-No, it ain't.

[Alicia] I want our baby to be hopeful
for the future but realistic.

[Denise] We gotta start watchin' Roots
while the baby in the womb,

-so it comes out knowin' the real.
-[laughing]

-[Denise] Really, babe?
-What?

The man's coming over
to jerk off in a cup.

He don't need a whole charcuterie plate.

I just want him to be comfortable.
I want the vibe to be right, you know.

Okay, that's not, like,
some new age-y sh*t you just made up.

If it was me, I would've ordered
a pizza and called it a day.

I don't want his hands to be greasy.

See. That's why our baby
gonna come out bougie as hell.

What?

You just said, "Our baby."

[chuckling softly]

'Cause we're gonna have a baby.

-Mmm-hmm.
-[sighs]

Will you dance with me?

-Hell yeah.
-Yeah?

-Yeah.
-[chuckles] Okay.

["Who Knows Where the Time Goes"
by Nina Simone playing]

♪ Across the morning sky ♪

♪ All the birds are leaving ♪

♪ How can they know ♪

♪ That it's time to go? ♪

♪ Before the winter fire ♪

♪ We'll still be dreaming ♪

♪ I do not count the time ♪

♪ Who knows where the time goes? ♪

♪ Who knows where the time goes? ♪

♪ Who knows where the time goes? ♪

♪ Who knows where the time goes? ♪

[doorbell rings]

Babe, Darius is here!

[door opens]

-[Alicia] Hey!
-[Darius chuckles] Hey.

-[Alicia] Come in.
-You okay?

-Yes, I'm good. Thank you for coming.
-[Darius] Good, good.

[Alicia] Come in, darlin'.

-Ah, there she is.
-How you doin', man?

-How you doin'?
-Good to see you.

[chuckling] Oh, wow. Look at this.

We got wine, cheese. A rose.

This is great.

What a romantic setting
for me to be with myself.

-Yeah, we aim to please.
-Yes.

So I just do it in this jar?

Yeah, yeah, um, we just
want you to feel really relaxed.

Um…

Got the laptop there
if you wanna use the Internet to… browse.

Just let us know when you're done
'cause time is of the essence.

Got it.

-All right. Well, good luck, man.
-Thank you.

Yeah, man.

-All right, darlin'. Thank you.
-[chuckles]

[door closes]

Okay. Let's, uh…

Let's do this.

[exhales]

Sweet.

I can't believe the m*therf*cker's
jerking off on our couch.

-I know. It's weird.
-It's a suede one.

He couldn't do it in the bathroom.

I know.
I had that sh*t flown in from Germany.

[softly] I know.

You know,
and that's my favorite nap couch.

I know. It'll have memories on it now.

Jesus. Oh, my God. It's gonna have
our baby's cousins on it.

[chuckles] Yeah.

[exhales]

-[Alicia] Hey.
-Hey, I'm done.

[Alicia] Yeah?

-[door opens]
-[scats]

[door closes]

-Hey.
-Hey.

-There you go.
-[Alicia] Thank you.

-Thank you. Thank you so much, hon.
-Appreciate you, brother.

-Cool. Let's go.
-All right. See you later.

-[Alicia] See you.
-[Denise] You're the best.

[door closes]

-[Denise] Okay. Legs up.
-Okay.

All right.

Make sure you ain't got
no air bubbles in there.

[Denise] I got it.
There's no air bubbles in it.

-Okay?
-[chuckles] Yeah.

[Denise] All right. And…

Oh, Jesus. This is gross.

-[groans]
-Here we go.

[Alicia grunts and chuckles]

You good? You good?

-[Denise] Okay. Yeah, that's all of it.
-Okay.

[operatic song playing]

[imperceptible]

[imperceptible]

[song continues playing]

[imperceptible]

[imperceptible]

[song continues playing]

[imperceptible]

-[song stops]
-[crying]

-Can I get you anything?
-Why weren't you crying?

I don't know.

I was just digesting everything.

I've never been
in a situation like this before.

I just feel like you seem so distant.

You look relieved, Denise.

What?

Just admit it.

Part of you is happy
I'm not pregnant anymore.

Babe, I've been holding your hand
through this whole process.

I'm just as devastated as you.

No, no. You've been holding my hand,
and I've been dragging you along.

And I tried to convince myself…

[sighs]

…that you wanted it as much as I did, but…

[sighs]

Maybe we shouldn't have a baby.

-So now you don't wanna have a baby?
-[sniffles]

I wanna have a baby.

I just don't know
if it should be with you.

[operatic song playing]