[♪♪♪]
♪ Here we are ♪
♪ Face to face ♪
♪ A couple
Of silver spoons ♪
♪ Hopin' to find ♪
♪ We're two of a kind ♪
♪ Makin' a go ♪
♪ Makin' it grow ♪
♪ Together ♪
♪ We're gonna find
Our way ♪
♪ Together ♪
♪ Takin' the time
Each day ♪
♪ To learn all about ♪
♪ Those things
You just can't buy ♪
♪ Two silver spoons
Together ♪
♪ You and I ♪
♪ We're gonna find
Our way ♪
♪ You and I ♪
♪ Together ♪
♪ We're gonna find
Our way ♪
♪ You and I together ♪
Happy birthday,
sweetheart.
Come on, Dad. Don't you
want to see what I got you?
Yes, I do.
First, read the card.
All right.
I made it myself.
[LAUGHS]
Okay.
"Here's hoping
this gift is a dandy.
A hint--
It's not flowers or candy.
If you have
your white shorts,
and time on the courts,
this present
will sure come in handy.
Love, Rick."
Thank you, son.
Uh-oh. Let me guess--
A giant fly swatter?
Dad, come on.
A canoe paddle for a midget?
Edward!
Okay, okay, all right.
All right.
Let's see here.
Hey!
Just what I
always wanted--
A spaghetti strainer!
Ah, son,
this is the greatest!
Wanna break it in?
Right now? Sure!
I'll go and change.
Okay.
I thought my gift
was the greatest.
Well, there's
"greatest,"
And then there's
"greatest."
And baby,
you're the greatest.
[DOORBELL RINGS]
I'll get it.
[LAUGHS]
Ah!
Happy birthday,
Edward.
Thank you, bud.
What have we here?
Let's see.
Brandy.
Fifty years old.
Forty-two.
I meant the brandy.
Ah.
And it's incredibly
expensive,
so don't share it
with anyone but me.
Aw, thanks, Dex,
you didn't have to do this.
Ah, now he tells me.
Hi, Dex. Nice gift.
A mere trifle.
I'm dying to see
what the company president
buys her husband.
Sneakers.
Good lord.
It's what he
asked for.
Oh, I didn't want anyone
to make a big deal.
I'll probably feel the same
when I reach your age.
What's the matter
with ?
Nothing.
A lot of people your age
manage to live useful
and happy lives.
[LAUGHS]
Very funny.
I'll have you know
my life is just beginning.
Not according
to insurance tables.
They say it's already
more than half over.
What a cheery thought.
[DOORBELL RINGS]
That must be Tamara.
Tamura.
Oh, the Japanese lessons?
How are they coming?
Terrific!
Two more lessons, and I'll be
pronouncing my teacher's name.
Hi, I got a package
for Edward Stratton.
Hey, hey, another chance
to break in my sneakers.
The last time I was in
a big house like this,
I got a $ tip.
Oh.
Here's a dollar.
We're just
house-sitting.
Thanks, Pop.
Pop?
Dad, what did you get?
It's from grandfather.
Let's see here.
Hey, hey, hey--
An old newspaper!
What a day.
First, sneakers, and now this.
No, no, this is great.
It's the newspaper
from the day I was born.
Wow! "Roosevelt Wins
by a Landslide."
Teddy Roosevelt?
[CLEARS THROAT]
Franklin Roosevelt.
I remember Franklin Roosevelt.
My grandparents told me
all about him.
I'm sorry.
Ready to break in
your racket.
And your
new sneakers?
Ready.
Don't run him too hard.
The sneaks may be new,
but the legs are .
Yeah.
I'll go easy on him.
"Go easy."
Let me remind you
that you've never ever,
repeat, never,
beaten me at anything--
Tennis, basketball,
racquetball, not anything.
Well, there's always
a first time...Pop.
I'll give you "pop."
[CHUCKLES]
You'll never b*at me the way
you twist your backhand.
What-What twist?
Your wrist turns under
when you extend your racket.
Really?
Hey! I know exactly
what you're doing.
You're trying
to psych me out.
He's quite a kid.
Yeah. So's Rick.
[BOTH LAUGH]
Okay.
Let's try it again.
[SIGHS]
Koni...
Koni...
Konichi...
Konichi...
Konichi wa.
Konichi woo.
[SPEAKING JAPANESE]
[IN ENGLISH]
Gee, golly.
What a shame.
That's all the time
we have for today.
I'll see you next week.
You're doing very well.
Really. Just great.
Fabulous!
You don't have to lie
to me, Tamura.
I-I can take the truth.
All right, Mrs. Stratton.
We're in deep soy sauce.
What am I going to do?
My trip to Japan
is less than four weeks away,
Eddy Toys is counting on me
to make a good impression.
Oh, you will, Mrs. Stratton.
Just remember--
A young salmon,
in his fight to swim upstream,
may not go under or over,
but only against the current.
What does that mean,
exactly?
[SPEAKING JAPANESE]
Oh.
[IN ENGLISH]
I'll let myself out.
Sayonara.
Ciao.
Kate, I did it!
I finally did it!
What?
I just b*at dad at tennis!
Come on, Dad.
Tell her how I whipped you.
Edward!
Are you all right?
I'm fine.
But your leg.
Oh, it's nothing,
nothing.
I'll take a few pain pills
and forget all about it.
Pain pills?
What happened?
It's no big deal.
I just pulled it a little
going for a serve.
Early on.
It didn't affect
the outcome.
Rick won that practice round
fair and square.
Could you
get me a drink?
Sure.
What do you mean,
practice round?
That was a real match.
You were helping me break in
my new sneakers and racket.
You want to play
a real match,
tell me before,
not after.
Let's have a real match.
Fine.
Fine. Tomorrow morning.
Tomorrow's
a little soon.
Give your poor father
a chance
to catch his breath.
I don't need
to catch my breath.
Okay, Dad,
when do you want to play?
The sooner, the better.
Two weeks.
[PRACTICING JAPANESE]
Hi, Kate.
How's it going?
[IN ENGLISH]
Oh, okay, I guess.
But I'm having a hard time
with this.
How am I supposed
to order dinner
when I can't
read the menu?
Just remember--
Toro is tuna,
ebi is shrimp, tori is chicken
and niku is meat.
Rick, that's incredible!
When did you learn
all that Japanese?
It's written in English
on the back of your menu.
Wha--?
Where's dad?
[PHONE RINGS]
He's getting ready
to go back to work.
Again?
You're spending a lot
of extra time at work.
It's our busy season--
Lots of toys in development.
I wanna practice
before our game tomorrow.
I'm sorry, son.
Duty calls.
Dad, this isn't right.
You spend every night
at the lab, drinking coffee
and eating donuts for dinner.
You're not gonna be in shape.
Let's postpone for a week.
I don't want you
to have any excuses.
Hey, buddy, I don't
need any excuses.
Now, I agreed to the date,
if I'm not ready, it's my fault.
We meet tomorrow,
and it's for the record books.
Ok, Dad, just remember,
I gave you a chance.
How sporting of you.
See you on the court.
See you there.
Honey, I got to run.
See you.
By the way, you needn't hurry
back to work.
Your tennis pro
is running late.
Okay, thanks.
Tennis pro?
You ought to be
ashamed of yourself,
sneaking around, practicing
every chance you get.
Shh. It's not
what you think.
Here, sit down.
Let me explain.
Rick's going through a very
important stage of his life now.
He's becoming independent.
Like all teenagers,
he has this intrinsic need
to bring down
the established order.
b*ating me at tennis is all
part of that process.
Process?
Fathers and sons have been going
through this ritualistic combat
since the ice age.
Oh, I see. You don't want
to win for yourself.
You're doing it to help
Rick's psychological
development.
Exactly!
I'm going to squash him
like a bug.
[♪♪♪]
[SIGHS]
Uh...
Yuki...
Go Tokyo nah...
Good, good.
Ashi yubi oh pah gah.
Excellent!
Really?
Yes. Your boy's got
a terrific backhand.
[♪♪♪]
Okay, fine.
It don't bother me.
Are you ready?
I'm ready.
You're ready?
I'm ready.
I wasn't ready.
[GRUNTS]
[GRUNTS]
[OBJECTS CRASHING]
All right now.
Say you are at
the business meeting,
and now you want to thank
your prospective
associates
for being so cooperative.
Uh...
Batawo watashi
no fundo shini.
Not quite.
You just asked me
to butter
your jockey shorts.
I will never learn this.
It seems like we've
been at this forever.
Or longer.
Oh...
I have a new idea.
Total immersion
therapy.
Here. Reizoko...
Refrigerator.
Rei-zo-ko.
Good.
We'll stick these
all over the house.
That way, whenever
you see something,
you'll also see
the Japanese word for it.
What do I do when I see it?
Nothing.
That's the whole point.
You're just
going to look...
And absorb it.
Do you think it
will really work?
Hopefully.
EDWARD:
Kate!
[♪♪♪]
Kate.
Kate...
Edward!
I...
You...
The...
Did you squash him
like a bug?
Not only did I
lose the game,
Kate, I lost my youth.
It's out there,
somewhere...
On the tennis court.
I'm an old man.
Aw, gee.
Oh, stop it, Edward.
You're just tired,
that's all.
You practiced too much,
and you
wore yourself out.
I wasn't tired, Kate.
Well, you were
tired last night.
I wasn't tired.
I had a headache.
Well...
Do you have
a headache now?
No.
Oh, good.
Now I'm tired.
Thank you.
Dex, I really am
worried about Edward.
Ahem, why, is he
stuck to something?
Yes, he's stuck to the idea
that he's over the hill.
He asked me if I could
love an old man.
Who did he have in mind?
I don't know. He fell asleep
before I could find out.
It's all my fault.
I shouldn't have teased him
about getting old.
That was insensitive of me.
I feel very guilty.
It wasn't you.
It was that tennis match
he lost to Rick.
Tennis match?
Mm-hm.
Then it's Rick's fault,
not mine.
[SIGHS]
I feel better.
Well, I don't.
It's only a little
mid-life crisis, that's all.
That's all?
His reaction is mild.
Some men his age
try to recapture their youth.
They trade their wives
in for bimbos.
Some quit their jobs,
roam the streets.
Some lose
all their money gambling,
some turn to drink
and dr*gs.
Trade in their wives
for bimbos?
Relax. It's all right.
Edward's not the type
to do anything so extreme.
[SCOFFS]
You're right.
What's happening?
You took the words
right out of my mouth.
Edward?
Pastels?
I'm gonna need them
where we're going.
Candyland?
No, I'm taking my lady
on a Caribbean vacation.
Dancing all night,
catching the rays by day.
I think maybe you've had
enough sun.
Hi, Dex.
Hi, Kate.
Dad?
Hey, buddy!
You know what you and me
have never done?
Go to a concert
together.
I wonder if the Who
is playing someplace.
Dad, the Who
broke up years ago.
Hey, I knew that.
How about the Go-Gos?
Gone-Gone.
Them too?
I got it!
I'll see if I can't
order us some tickets
for Elton John.
They're still together.
♪ Oh-ooh-ooh ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
♪ Ooh-oh-oh-oh ♪
Ow! Yeah!
I think we've
created a monster.
Yes. The creature
from Bloomingdales.
I never thought
he'd act this way
over losing
a stupid tennis match.
What are we going to do?
Guys, I think I've got a plan.
Please, Richard, this is
a complicated problem.
EDWARD:
Ow! Yeah!
♪ Oh-ohh ♪
What's your plan?
Trust me. I got us into this,
and I'll get us out.
♪ Oh, yeah, yeah ♪
Dad!
Dad!
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
♪ Ooh, ohh
Aah, aah, ooh ♪
♪ Aah, ooh
Aah, ooh, aah ♪
♪ Ooh, ooh ♪
Hi.
Hi.
Dad, you wanna play
a little tennis?
Oh, gee, I'd like to, son,
but I'm kind of busy.
Oh, it's just as well,
I guess.
Ah-choo!
Gesundheit.
Thanks.
[COUGHS]
You all right?
I'm fine.
You don't sound very fine.
Just getting a cold, that's all.
Gosh, I feel
achy all over.
Especially when
I move around.
Oh.
I'll go get my racket.
[♪♪♪]
Yuki-ga Tokyo-ni...
Try it once more.
I'm sorry, Tamura.
I can't concentrate.
My mind's out on
the tennis courts.
Ah, that's where it is.
Maybe I'll come back tomorrow
when you can concentrate.
Good. I'll see you
tomorrow, Tamura.
Sayonara.
Auf weidersehen.
[HUMMING OLYMPIC THEME]
[LAUGHS]
I take it you won.
The thrill of victory!
The agony of defeat.
Kate, I was whomped.
Well, congratulations.
I squashed him
like a bug.
You said you would.
I guess that
game you won
was a fluke, huh, son?
A fluke?
Sure.
How do you expect
that weak backhand
to stand up
against my powerful serve?
I can't believe this.
Believe it.
I wouldn't rush
the net so much, son.
It shows
overaggressiveness.
Oh, yeah?
Yeah.
Rick. Ha-ha.
And next time I wouldn't use
all those dinky
little drop sh*ts.
Is there anything else, Dad?
Yeah, one more thing.
Next time
you lose on purpose,
you got to make it
look more real.
You knew.
I'm no dummy.
I guess I've just
been acting like one.
I made it rough on you guys,
last week or so, huh?
No, not really.
It was hell.
Throwing a match
is a desperate measure.
Well, we just wanted
the old you back.
Sorry.
No excuses necessary.
Does this mean I can
get rid of your pastels?
Except peach pants.
I kind of like those.
[PHONE RINGS]
Oh, I'll get it.
Let's play another game, this
time you don't throw the match.
You're on, Dad. When?
Two weeks.
All right.
Thanks, Dexter.
Honey, what happened?
Learning
all that Japanese
was a complete
waste of time.
You're not going
to believe this,
but the toy convention
was moved to Israel.
Oy vey.
[♪♪♪]
[♪♪♪]
05x07 - Man to Man
Watch/Buy Amazon
Wealthy, young-at-heart business owner and playboy Edward Stratton III is stunned to discover his brief marriage several years ago produced a son, Richard who is now 12 and wanting to live with him.
Wealthy, young-at-heart business owner and playboy Edward Stratton III is stunned to discover his brief marriage several years ago produced a son, Richard who is now 12 and wanting to live with him.