05x12 - Divine

[bunniefuu]

[Beeps and buzzes]

Ooh! Good move!

Hey, guys. What's goin' on?

Shh! Amanda's playing cosmic crusher.

She's on level .

I am the queen!

If her cosmic crusher crushes more asteroids

With his magic moon cheese mallet,

He'll be free from the dark planet!

Well, what happens then?

We don't know.

No one's ever freed the cosmic crusher before.

Ooh! She's about to do it!

[Beep beep beep beep]

[Beep beep beep beep]

[Beep beep beep beep]

I did it!

I freed the cosmic crusher!

What's happening?!

I'm free!

Finally, I'm free!

Uh...who-- who are you?

I'm the cosmic crusher!

Wow! That is a cool video game!

Isn't it great?

Now...

Which one of you rescued me from the dark planet?

I did, cosmic crusher.

Oh, thank you.

I was beginning to give up hope.

Thank goodness

You wasted hours and hours playing this pointless game!

So, uh, what are you gonna do now that you're free?

Well...

I guess I'll do the only thing

A cosmic cr-r-rusher knows how to do!

Fight e-vil with my magic moon cheese mallet!

Uh, gee, cosmic crusher, there's not much evil around these parts.

Minutes. Show starts in minutes.

E-vil!!

Hey! He wasn't e-vil!

Yeah!

But good job anyway!

Yeah!

I guess we should go do the show.

Let's go.

To fight e-vil!

Captioning made possible by nickelodeon and u.s. Department of education

Fresh out the box.

Stop, look, and watch.

Ready yet? Get set.

It'sall that.

♪ Oh

♪ Uh-oh

♪ This is all that♪

♪ This is all that♪

♪ Check it, check it

♪ Now, this is just an introduction ♪

♪ Before we blow your mind ♪

♪ The show is all of that ♪

♪ And yes, we do it all the time ♪

♪ So sit your booty on the floor ♪

♪ Or in a chair

♪ On the ground or in the air ♪

♪ Just don't go nowhere

♪ 'Cause everything we do

♪ Is all of that

♪ When entertaining you

♪ We're all of that

♪ My posse and my crew

♪ Is all of that

♪ So sit still

♪ 'Cause we're comin' right back ♪

♪ Oh

♪ Uh-oh

♪ This is all that♪

♪ This is all that♪

♪ Check it out

♪ Oh

♪ Uh-oh

♪ This is all that♪

♪ This is all that♪

I'm detective dan.

Daddy, what are you doing in the refrigerator?

Catching you trying to steal my bologna.

Now come with me, sir. You're under arrest.

But I'm your daughter.

Oh, yeah? Then what number am I thinkin' of?

Blue.

Pumpkin!

Well, that solves the case of the runaway wig.

Now I'm going to bed!

That's your sink.

Your bed's in your bedroom?

Right. I'm detective dan.

That's right, daddy. You're detective dan.

Good night, sweetheart.

Now good night!

Hey, hey, you get the tv, and I'll get the stereo.

[Crash]

Hey! What are you doing in here?!

Stealing stuff.

Ow!

Nothin'.

Help! Daddy, we're being robbed!

Robbed? Robbed?!

They got away.

Help, daddy! They're stealing all of our stuff!

Don't worry, pumpkin. I'll get the police.

Officer, officer!

There they are! Arrest those men!

Where am i?!

Daddy, that's not the police.

That's just an old lady!

Impersonating an officer, huh?

You're under arrest!

Aah! I'm hit!

Dad, they're taking our tv!

Hold it right there!

Where do ya think you're goin' with my television?

Uh...we taking it to get repaired.

Oh, well, in that case, let me help. Here ya go.

Ok.

We also going to need to repair your vcr.

Ok, I'll get that for ya.

Dad, those men aren't repairmen! They're burglars!

Oh, please, honey.

If they were burglars,

They would have found this hidden safe behind the picture here.

Then they would have busted it open

And found out that I keep all these jewels inside!

Hey, those are some nice jewels.

Do you mind if I see how they feel in my pocket?

Oh, sure. Here.

Dad, stop giving them the jewels!

Those men are burglars, you know--thieves?

Criminals, bad guys!

No, we're not.no, we're not.

Hmm.

This is tricky.

She says that you're robbers,

And yet you claim that you're not robbers.

There's only one way to solve this.

Pillow fight!

Hey, hey, everybody freeze!

Yeah, yeah. We heard there was a robbery in progress at this address.

Robbery?!

Hold the tamales!

You're right. Somebody has stolen my hat.

Everybody freeze!

That means you, snappy pants.

Nobody is leaving this room

Until I find out who took my hat!

But you're wearing your hat!

Aha! You fell right into my trap, didn't ya?

How would you know where my hat was

Unless youwas the one who stole it?

Because I can see it on your head?

Oh, boys!

Tickle this girl and place her under arrest.

[Giggling]

No, no, no, no. Wait, wait, wait.

That's not right. You're not doing it right.

This is how you tickle somebody.

Oh! Oh ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha!

Stop it, dan!

Ah ha ha ha!

I'm detective dan!

Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

What a moron!

And now, danny tamberelli with vital information

For your everyday life.

Little miss muffet sat on a tuffet.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

I'm sorry. The word tuffet makes me laugh.

[Laughing]

[Inhales]

At the end of the rainbow,

There be a pot of gold!

At the end of this rope, there be...

Rinehart, the dancing monkey boy!

♪♪♪

[Giggles]

Tuffet.

Life is full of little surprises.

My pants are filled with little firecrackers.

[Pop pop pop pop pop pop pop]

This has been danny tamberelli with vital information.

♪ This is all that ♪

♪ This is all that ♪

It's the date show!

And now, here's your matchmaking host,

Clay spackle!

Hi, everybody. I'm clay spackle.

And welcome to the date show!

Now before we bring out our lovely young lady

Who's lookin' for a date,

Let's meet her potential fellas, shall we?

Single guy number one says he's looking for a lady

Who won't yell at him all the time.

Say hello, everyone, to antoine.

What it is.

Ok. Single guy number enjoys foreign films,

Jazz music, and collecting fine art.

Please welcome

Lump maroon!

Jupiter-r-r-r!

Okay. We got single guy number .

He is a caveman who was born over million years ago.

He was just recently thawed out from a huge block of ice,

And he's here with us today.

Give it up for francis, everybody!

Ok, now that we've met our single hunks,

Let's meet our hunkette, huh?

She enjoys breathing, smelling things, and girlie stuff.

Everybody welcome bethany sinclair!

Hello, clay!

Hello, bethany.

Guys, say hello to bethany, will ya?

Hey, what's up, bethany, baby?

This is sweet lover antoine speaking.

Why don't you pick me so I can show you what real lovin' is all about?

Right on.

Ok, single guy number ,

How about you?

Jupiter-r-r-r!

Okay! Single guy number ?

Eh--hello, bethany.

Me francis. Pick me.

[Fly buzzes]good time.

[Buzz]

All right. Now, bethany,

Whaddaya say we ask these guys some questions

So you can figure out which one you wanna date, ok?

[Giggles] ok. Um, single guy number one,

"If I picked you, what would we do on our date?"

Anything you want to, baby.

Just as long as it costs under $.

Antoine is on a budget.

Ok, um... Single guy number ...

Same question.

Jupiter.

Ok. How about you, number ?

Eh--first, m-me drag you by your hair to my cave.

Then we carve buffalo into wall

With handmade tools.

And then we, uh... We watch some tv.

Interesting. Interesting.

Um, single guy number one,

"If you were ice cream, what flavor would you be?"

That's a stupid question!

Antoine is a people!

People can't be no ice cream!

No, single guy number one,

I think bethany's asking you to pick an ice cream flavor

That best reflects your personality.

Antoine is a people!

Ok, um, single guy number !

"Sing me a song about how much you wanna go out with me."

♪♪♪

♪ Jupiter!

♪ Jupiter!

♪ Jupiter!

♪ Jupiter!

♪ Jupiter!

♪ Jupiter-r-r!

Jupiter.

Whoo!

Well! Not bad!

Um...single guy number ,

"Tell me something about single guy number one."

[Sniffing]

Uugghhh!

His breath smell like stegosaurus!

Antoine: oh!

Oh, the caveman comin' down on antoine! Is that it?

Single guy number one,

It's not your turn to speak.

That's messed up.

Ok. Single guy number one,

"I like poetry.

Now, tell me a poem."

Is it ok with the host man if antoine speaks now?

Just answer the question, funny man.

Ode to bethany:

A poem by antoine.

[A-a-aahem]

O, bethany, hark, yonder angel,

What beautiful beauty

Be-strucks my heart?

Maybe if I tell you one more time--

Jupiter.

Aw, man, what you doin' now?

Jupiter! Jupiter!

[Singsong] jupiter! Jupiter--

Jupiter!

Jupiter!

Antoine does not appreciate

Single guy number

Interruptin' his love poem.

Jupiter! Jupiter!

Jupiter.

Got him.

Can antoine finish his love poem now?

[Theme music plays] ♪♪♪!

Oh, no, that sound means it's the end of the game!

Antoine is bein' gypped!

Bethany, this is a very important part of the game.

This is the deciding moment.

Now...you just have to pick which one of these guys you wanna date.

Is it single guy number one?

Single guy number ?

Or single guy number ?

Well, clay, it's a really tough one, clay.

But...i think I'm gonna have to go with

Single guy number !

Come on, man!

Antoine was robbed!

That is a good choice,

But you gotta meet the guys who you didn't pick.

Antoine, come on over here!

Single guy number , lump maroon!

Jupiter! Jupiter!

♪ Jup-jup-jup-jup-jupiter! Jup-jup-jup-jup-jupiter! ♪

Jupiter!

Oh, jupiter, jupiter, jupiter, jupiter!

Lump, you didn't win.

Jupiter.

Jupiter.

Jupiter.

Jupiter!

Ok, beth! Are you ready?

Bethany, say hello to your date,

Francis!

[Grunts]

Hey, you just clubbed my date!

Oh!

You better not try that with antoine.

Oh!

Oh, oh, oh!

Lump, lump, you--

Lump, put that thing down!

Announcer: join us next time on the date show!

That ♪

♪ This is all that ♪

That's what I like to call my birthday suit.

Ok, thank you, pingo.

That was very--hmm-- revealing.

Now, our next show and tell student is thrack morton.

Well...

For show and tell today,

I brought my new instant juicer!

My uncle wayne gave it to me for nephew day.

Nephew day? Juicer! [Gasps]

Oh! A juicer!

Well, that's terrific!

Now, what does it do?

Well, first you put the fruit in on top like this.

Then you press the button...

And voila--juice!

Whoa! Wow!

Here, try some!

Mmm!

It takes like sunshine

On a saturday morning!

Can it juice this raw chicken, too?

Sure. Chicken juice, comin' right up!

[Grinding sound]

Mmm...

That's chick-o-licious!

Say, uh...

Can y'all juicer machine juice this math book, brother?

You betcha!

One math juice, comin' right up.

[Grinding]

How does it taste?

[In nerdy voice] the square root of the denominator

Divided by the hypotenuse of the remainder equals infinity!

Whoa!

Now, uh, who has something else I can juice?

Ooh! I do!

Juice my shoe!

Juice my shoe!

[Grinding]

Oh, that's awful!

Awful good!

Now thrack morton,

Your juicer provides a tasty beverage

With little or no mess.

But is it easy to use?

See for yourself!

Ok!

First I just put the orange in,

And then I press the button--

Wait! Take your arm out first!

Yi-yi-yi-yi-yi!

What's going on in here?

Hey! Looks like we got us some teacher juice!

With just a hint of

Orange.

Now mrs. Clump is a liquid!

Yay!yay! Yay!

But that means there's no one to teach us!

Yay!yay! Yay!

But that means there's no one to dismiss us!

And we'll be stuck in this classroom forever!

Oh...aw... Aw...

You're right! We have to de-juice her!

But how?

Well, for my show and tell project,

I brought an instant de-juicer!

My uncle wayne gave it to me

For mynephew day!

Perfect, jermaine!

Now we can use this to de-juice miss clump!

With just a hint of orange!

Gimme that!

[Vacuum sound]

I guess she had a little more orange than I thought.

The show's over.

Oh, yeah. Kick it!