02x07 - Episode 7

[bunniefuu]

Come on, drake, come on. Keep it up, keep it up.

Come on, come on. You can do it, kid.

How much time?

You've been going, let's see, for days,

Hours, minutes.

More minutes and you're gonna break

The turkey balancing world record!

I'm gonna do it, I'm gonna do it.

Whoa! Yeah!

You got it, you got it.

Itch! Itch! Wait!

Where? Where?

Left arm pit, left arm pit.

Ohh. Thanks, barney.

Only more minutes,

You have the world record!

Oh, that's it!

You can do it, you can do it.

I'm gonna do it, I'm gonna do it.

Balance those two together.

You just got a couple more seconds--

Pardon me, blake.

Drake.

Don't care.

My name is penelope taynt.

I'm amanda's number one fan, please.

Can't you see I'm busy? I'm trying to set a world record here.

You're wasting my life and yours.

Where's amanda, please?

You know what? I'm not gonna tell you where amanda is.

How about that?

Then you force me to tickle you.

Tickle please, tickle please, tickle please.

Ok, stop. Stop, stop, stop.

Ok. Amanda's in make-up getting ready for her next scene.

How long will she be there?

Uh...probably for about another min--

[Thump]

Ah, man!

Fare-thee-well!

Man!

Why don't you just take it?

♪ A-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a

♪ Manda-manda-manda- manda-manda ♪

♪ Manda-manda-manda- manda-manda show ♪

[Cheering and applause]

Whoo! Thank you!

My name's amanda,

And this show is written by the best writers

That nickelodeon can afford!

Thank you.

Ok. You guys are not going to believe

What you're about to see.

Everybody, say hello to george w. Bush.

[Hail to the chiefplays]

[Audience applauds and cheers]

How ya doing, amanda?

Great. Thank you so much for coming on the show.

Oh, glad to, glad to.

I'm a great fan of your show. I just love it.

Hey, wait! Hold everything!

This election is not over.

I demand a recount.

Oh, man. Give it up, gore!

I will not give up.

[Audience applauds and cheers]

Look, bush...

Look. Look, what i-- i-i-i found some more ballots.

Let me see those.

Why--why those aren't ballots.

Those are tickets to the amandashow.

Oh...right.

Yeah. See? See?

I was confused.

Very confusing.

And they need to be counted.

I demand a recount!

You're gonna demand my fist in a minute.

Bring it on, daddy's boy.

You got it, man.hey, you guys!

He started it.

Nimrod.

Robot.

Ok, guys, now you both want to be president, right?

Yeah.

It's all I've got.

All right, let's see if we can figure out a way

To decide who really wins once and for all.

Recount. Ah, shut it.

Girl: hey, amanda!uh, yeah?

I know how we can decide who should be president.

Uh, how?

Whoever can eat the most worms

In seconds wins.

[Audience cheers and applauds]

Sounds good to me.

Guys!

Oh, uh...

Ok, so whoever eats the most worms

Gets to be president.

Well, i-i-i-i--

Ready?

Why do we have to--go!

Go! Eat the worms! Show me something.

Time's running out.

Chew, chew, chew.

Come on, bush! Come on, gore!

Swallow! Swallow!

Come on, gore! Eat!

You want to be president or not? Come on, gore!

Come on, bush! Come on! Let's go! Eat the worms!

Show me something! Come on, swallow! Chew, chew! Hurry!

Chew, chew, chew!

[Buzzer]

Ok, the official count is...

Bush with worms

And gore with .

And the winner is george w. Bush.

[Audience cheers and applauds]

No, no, no, no, no, no!

I ate more worms.

I demand a recount.

Oh, face it, gore. You lose.

But my worms are very confusing.

Look, look. See this worm?

It's half-chewed.

I clearly intended to eat it,

So it should be counted.

Oh, give it up, gore.

I got more votes and I ate more worms.

I hate you.

Back at ya.

Amanda, why don't we just let them fight it out?

[Audience cheers and applauds]

You guys,

These guys want to be president of the united states.

You can't really decide over a fist fight.

Well, now I agree with amanda.

Now what we need is a fair and accurate re--uhh!

[Audience cheers]

You want a piece of me?

Yeah! Give it up!

Stick around. We'll be back in a second with new stuff.

Whoo-hoo!

[Hail to the chiefplays]

Hey, who wants a snack?

You mean like ice cream?

Or candy?

Or tuna?

Uh...ow.

Forget those snacks.

He hurt my body.

Who wants a trash cone?

Trash cones?

Give me!

Now what do we do?

♪ Get some-- get some trash ♪

♪ Then you pour it in the top ♪

♪ Then you press the red button ♪

I found a mop!

♪ Now get your cones ready ♪

I've got a rash!

Look! Something's coming out!

It's a snack made from trash!

♪ T-t-t-trash cones

♪ The snack made from trash ♪

♪ T-t-t-trash cones

♪ These are made for snacks ♪

♪ T-t-t-trash cones

♪ The snack made from trash ♪

♪ T-t-t-trash cones

♪ This cone is a smash ♪

Who knew garbage could taste so good?

Make the voices stop!

♪ T-t-t-trash cones

All: trash cones!

Announcer: trash cones!

Why throw away your garbage when you can eat it?

All: whoo!

Announcer: may cause intestinal bleeding.

♪ Amanda-manda-manda- manda-manda ♪

♪ Manda-manda-manda- manda-manda show ♪

Hi! And welcome to...

All: the girls' room!

Ok. My name is amber.

Could I be more popular?

I'm sheila. I'm easily agitated.

I'm tammy. You might know me as an exchange student from tennessee.

[Inhales]

Ha! Whoa! I forgot to breathe!

Her name is debbie.

I like eggs.

Oh, for the love of pork barbecue,

Can we please move on?

Ok. Now today is like a super exciting day in the girls' room

Because we're having a...

All: talent contest.

Ok. Now our first contestant is dustin puddin'.

Hi, dustin! And welcome to...

All: the girls' room!

Ok, what's your talent?

I...am a magician.

What instrument do you play?

Magician!

Ohh!

What instrument do you play?

Dustin, just do a magic trick already.

I will make a cake appear in this hat!

First...the cake mix!

Then...some milk.

And eggs!

And...

Ta-da!

Girls, please rate this horrible magician's talent.

? Why did you give him a ?

Two words...

I like eggs.

Sheila?

My favorite part!

No! Please!

[Splash]

[Toilet flushes]

Thanks for playing.

All: bye!

Ok!

All right, now our next contestant

Is our school cafeteria lady, miss shipman.

Hello, girls.

Ok, now what's your talent?

I will perform an interpretative dance.

I call this dance...

Melon!

[Clears throat]

Music!

[Music playing]

♪ Melon, melon

♪ I got a melon, baby, ooh, ooh, melon ♪

♪ Melon, me-e-e-elon

♪ Me melon be so lonely he need a friend ♪

♪ Hey, mr. Pineapple, won't you meet my melon ♪

Stop it!

Girls, scores!

Oh, I got no time for that.

Did I win?

[Splash]

[Toilet flushing]

My melon!

Bye-bye! See ya!

Ok. All right. Now our next contestant is...

Kyle rostensan.

Wassup, dudes?

Ok, what's your talent, kyle?

Um...i can, like, tell a story.

Ok, fine. Tell a story.

Ok. Um...one time,

I was, like, taking a shower...

With my cat.

What?

Then my stomach was all growly-growly,

Because I was hungry.

But we were all out of, like, cereal.

So I just sucked on a spoon.

Girls, scores!

All: zero!

!

?

I like eggs.

Who doesn't?

Amber...now.

Do it. Ooh!

Wait. Um...

I've never flushed anyone's head before.

So...can I do it?

Fine. You flush him.

Ok. Let's go, buddy.

That boy's head deserves to be flushed.

Totally.

Kyle: ha ha! All right!

[Laughter]

What is going on in there?

Aah! Debbie!

Well, he's cute.

Totally.

[Screaming]

Well, that's all the time we have.

Until next time, remember...

I'm popular.

I'm shocked!

I'm from tennessee.

I'm in love!

I'm in luck!

And clear! All right!

Very nice, everybody!

Let's set up for the next one!

[Doorbell rings]

What do you want?

I'm miss handwreck, your new piano teacher.

My name's courtney.

Hello, courtney.

Why don't we go to the piano?

Shall we begin?

Courtney, what are you doing?

Trying to fly.

But girls can't fly.

Ma-ha!

All right...

Now when playing the piano,

The first thing to keep in mind is your posture.

You must sit up straight and--

Courtney?

Courtney?

Ma-ha!

Please come out of there!

Yes. You must always keep your wrists high,

Back erect, feet flat on the fl--

Uh...

Courtney, why are you holding my tongue?

It's wet and shiny.

Thank you.

And your wrists high, back straight.

No!

Ma-ha!

I'll tell you what,

Let's try a simple tune.

With your left hand,

Play these notes.

[Playing a scale]

Aah! What is that?

Baby.

Courtney, you need to concentrate. Can you do that?

Ma-ha!

Ok.

So with your left hand,

Play these notes.

[Playing]

Isn't this pretty?

And all you have to--

What on earth are you doing?

Shave.

I don't want to be shaved!

Ma-ha!

If you please pay attention!

Just imitate what I'm doing.

[Humming]

♪ What are you pouring on my head ♪

Soy sauce.

My head does not asiatic flavor enhancement!

Ma-ha!

I am trying to teach you

How to play the piano like this!

[Playing classical music]

Ma-ha!

Aah! That's it! Get out of my shirt!

Out! Shoo!

I'm leaving!

Enjoy life without music!

Ma-ha!

Ma-ha yourself!

Ma-ha! Ma-ha!

Ma-ha! Ma-ha!

Ma-ha! Ma-ha!

Aah!

[Door crashes]

♪ Manda-manda-manda- manda-manda ♪

♪ Manda-manda-manda- manda-manda show ♪

Ha ha! Man, how funny is this movie?

Ooh, ooh! Here comes the part where his leg snaps.

[Boy screaming on tv]

What's wrong with the tv?

I don't know.

Hello, persons.

Oh...my...

Who is that?

You don't want to know.

My name is penelope taynt.

I'm amanda's number one fan, please.

Hello, flake.

Who's flake?

That's me.

What happened to the movie we were watching?

How'd you get on my tv?

I intercepted the satellite transmission, please.

You intercepted the satellite?

Stop speaking.

View my website-- www.amandaplease.com.

Here's the home page.

If you click here, you can see almost actual photos

Of me with amanda.

Here's how it might look if amanda touched my shoulder.

I would tingle for weeks, please.

Here's what I'd look like with the hillbillies.

I wish amanda would hit me over the head with an item.

Here's how amanda and I would look next to a muddy pig.

Oink, please.

That was my excellent website.

Now where's amanda?

I'm not gonna tell you where amanda is.

Now put my movie back on.

No.

Fine, then I'll just turn you off.

Not if I turn you off first, please.

Oh, right. How are you gonna--

Sayonnara.

Fare thee well.

That freaky chick turned off drake.

What should we do?

Let's eat his sandwich.

Cool!

Announcer: yo, yo, yo. It's...

Hi, welcome to my jacuzzi.

Today my special guest is santa claus.

Hi. So you're the one and only, actual santa claus.

Yes, I am.

Ho ho ho ho ho ho!

Uh-huh. And you live at the north pole?

Yes, I do. That's where the elves and I make toys for the children.

I see, and is it true that your wife took a trip to las vegas

And never came back?

No.

Yes.

I see. Well, uh...

How about a plate of spaghetti?

Gimme!

Announcer: that was...

Yo, yo, yo.

Bye-bye!

Be good!

[Audience cheering and applauding]

Hi, everyone! Thank you!

Whoo-hoo!

Who's having fun?

[Cheering and applause]

All right, cool.

[Clearing throat] I'm not.

Huh?

I'm not having fun.

Well, why not?

Because...

I can't dance.

Audience: ahh!

Oh. Well, i...

Teach him to dance!

Audience: yeah!

All right. Come here.

[Audience cheering]

Ok. What's your name?

Greg. Hi, greg.

Ok. Now put your arm around my waist,

Take my other hand like this, and follow my lead.

Like this? Yeah.

Ok. Music.

[Music playing]

Step to the right, step to the left.

Oh, forget it. I'm just a hopeless freak.

Audience: ahh.

Oh. You're not hopeless.

Look, all you have to do is bend your knees...

Pirouette...

Chasse...

Do a chibeaud to your left...

Por salut and finish with a twisting half-bianca.

That's easy.

I know. Do you want to try?

Why not?

Ok.

[Swing music playing]

[Audience cheering and applauding]

High-five!

You were great.

I know.

Hey, now do you think you can teach me

How to put a human brain into a robot?

Sure. I got to teach this guy

How to do brain surgery. See ya.

See ya.

[Audience cheering and applauding]

Amanda, please.