[Music]
gotta fall over hey I invented this game
I have been playing it since you were
small enough to get on top 10 points top
that and for the wind hey I told you to
no more playing dad Ginga dance sleeping
off for beers you don't want to put any
pressure on his bladder go through your
homework I finished all of mine well
help Lorne with her bill bill whose
donuts are these me a mine get up and
get ready fit Sumerian will be here any
minute remember they're coming for
dinner oh that's tonight they're just
gonna Yap and Yap about how great their
marriages since they went to therapy
well we own cuz they had us over last
time no they owe us all she served was
vegetables they had fish the vegetable
of the sea well we are having steak you
did remember to pick up the stakes out
of course I did I'd better get him out
of the refrigerator right now steak
steak TV Keith anything about field ha
where are the stakes YT of your coat on
cuz I was just about to get him out of
the refrigerator which is cold duh I
don't believe it you forgot the stakes
after I reminded you a hundred times
Judy you're treating me like a child
when in fact i'm a lazy forgetful adult
not going i'm gone got your keys right i
got my teeth you want your shoes again
didn't open ok fine I love I looked
everywhere they're gone oh so if I look
for him I won't find him in like two
seconds no you won't because that's what
gone means they're unfindable really
what are these keys to my other home
where I live with my other wife who
finds me adorable at times I think well
gold blower often give her my back
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
so turns out he has the keys in his
pockets all time god I swear it's like
living with the monkey only occasionally
monkeys groom themselves we get it
monkeys are better than bill you're
being a little rough on your husband my
sweetie and I used to fight like that
shall we learn through therapy but a
good marriage fits all but a bad
marriage comes in many criticized you
know what you were right I'm sorry bill
could you find it in your heart to pull
your head out of your ass hole digging
fidelis do you see this coming to mutual
respect is the difference between a
marriage that flourishes and one that
flounders lounder that was the crap fish
you serve black points right I mean this
is the stuff we learned in couples
counseling which I have my doubts about
but I get to see there's been a lot less
nagging and a lot more shaggin here just
about working together as a team isn't
that right teammate time for a cuddle
huddle
time to get ill bill we're great team or
a better team than you guys you should
see his g*ng up on Brian such a dork
walking wedgie I'm not talking about
crushing your child's self-esteem I'm
talking about how we pull together so
that both of us are happy my teammate
here wants to see the Rolling Stone so I
got on board even though I'm not that
into the rock and roll I start recording
the Rolling Stones concert so our way
it's our anniversary that night we wait
in the ticket line six hours for these
babies together yeah she even stood in
front of me while I peed in a bottle he
ruined my raspberry iced tea but that's
teamwork April right in front of Keith
where are you guys sitting well bill got
us the tickets where our seats no I
don't remember I'll go check
ah where you going bill you forgot to
buy the tickets in yet time for a cuddle
huddle you got rolling fellow stages I
heard they were sold out they are i
spent a fortune at a scalper thanks that
idiot bill stretch me easy at his sheep
scum hey he might be a slob but he still
my husband talking about me be patient
with still remember he's your teammate
yeah but it's like I'm in gym class
picking teams and I get the kid with the
built-up shoe I Ashley went to prom with
the huge surprise I we could
hey I should kick my ticket 64 sitting
near each other what he'll be fun yeah
they're right here on my gym bag where
are they this funny they were here
earlier oh that's good i b*rned down 210
calories because rehearsed I've got to
find those tickets of Phil finds out I
lost I'll never hear the end of it
listen to you dear marriage isn't about
competition it's about communication and
sacrifice I'd be glad to make a
sacrifice if I could just get that
jackass near a volcano maybe I left them
at home and my purse can give me a list
sure we're gonna go we'll see you later
hello oh it's so hard to get back to the
gym I'm really out of shape uh-huh just
not a baby last month I just had
triplets Oh
this morning don't get those tickets
have got to be here you have to help me
look Joe I'll find them excuse me son
son pepper spray someone thinks highly
of himself I've got to retrace my steps
what rooms were you in before you went
to the gym I changed the bulb in the
upstairs hallway I turned our mattress I
fixed the leaky faucet in the upstairs
bathroom my god I do everything around
here I'll look for them in the upstairs
bath we absolutely have to keep this a
secret from bill I don't feel
comfortable being a part of any marital
deceit we'll get comfortable I can just
see the smug look on a stupid face when
he finds out it hey there what's up
Katie beer hey what's going on Marion's
helping me organize my purse that's much
better thanks Marion what's this one do
you were gonna go do upstairs Judy I'm
sorry I'm a little nervous about please
just do it for me go where's she going
bathroom she has trouble going at other
peoples houses that's true that's why we
bought the RV you know what guys I'm
cleaning the house now I want to over
two pizzas how to get drunk Judy it's
the middle of a day we're already drunk
what's up with her like she's trying to
get rid of us I bet she wants us out of
the house because she lost those stones
tickets and doesn't want me to know Wow
what makes you think she wants two
tickets when you've been married as long
as we have you pick up on these things
also I took him teach her a lesson she
always rubs my face in it when I lose
things huh oh my keys anyway this time I
get to be the genius and rub her face in
it because she lost the tickets but she
didn't lose them you stole okay you're
overthinking this you have to stop using
your brain and stop using your heart I
hit him in a jacket I'm just gonna let
us suffer a while and with the tickets
out of her pocket and get the last AHA
so sweet so sweet find anything in the
bathroom except signs of a family with
no self-respect don't worry I have the
tickets right here where'd you find them
or bill hid them what they were in my
jacket pocket but I wasn't wearing this
jacket today so obviously bill put them
there the dummy thinks it can get back
at me for always finding his keys and
calling him a dummy why would he do that
bill wants me to admit I lost a ticket
so he can waltz in here and find him in
like two seconds but you know what the
joke is on him because they are not
going to be there and he is gonna squirm
like a bug at the end of a pimp squirm
buggy squirrel your church offer couples
counseling here they come play law oh we
don't like this going on Judy you seem a
little little agitated no fine couldn't
be finer that's good you know Fitz and I
were just talking about this Rolling
Stones concert now I know I'm not
supposed to touch the tickets because
i'm such a monkey and i lose things but
we were wondering where our seats were
right it's yeah sure thanks section G
I'm pretty sure it was section J you
might be right let's just drop it
although it could be section G well we
better check so let's see those tickets
unless of course there's some crazy
reason you can't produce him right now
ticket here that's it she lost him they
were my gym back and they disappeared
isn't that right Mary innocent making me
very nervous did your helping to drive
the RV over sorry so you're saying that
you lost the tickets you lost the
tickets you lost the ticket you are just
saying the same thing over and over
again emphasizing different words each
time a my duty so you've looked
everywhere there's no place you haven't
looked yeah so if I look I wouldn't find
them in like one second I mean I
wouldn't be able to walk up to the most
obvious place in the world like care Oh
say your jacket and pull them right out
aha aha what not that I sneezed said aha
YUM trying out a new sneeze why would
they be there I'm just searching the
house systematically starting with c fur
coat rack now we move on to diva the
kitchen come on I'm sorry for losing the
tickets and ruining our special night
we'll find them honey Fitz and I'll
search every into this house if we have
to
well I dug through all our trash cans
you find anything yeah that we'd a lot
of pretzels and the raccoons are not the
lovable little band that you see in
cartoons you find any tickets online
yeah but they're going fast these look
pretty good c25k 25 Kings what they cost
okay let mom know I did the laundry like
she told me to except for your underwear
that I b*rned and it smelled like a tire
fire you guys find stones tickets I
thought mom already got some she did but
I stole them out of her gym bag to prove
I'm a million times smarter than she is
that doesn't make sense then I lost him
that does terrible I've lost my
anniversary aha moment I really wanted
those tickets are like a rubber mineral
face we're back quick quick give me your
stones tickets why I'm gonna pretend to
mine they're not yours they're mine I'll
give them right back we're gonna find
ours eventually but this way I'll get my
ah-ha moment right now thanks Judy come
in here well look in the car we even
went back to the gym but no luck so you
looked everywhere there isn't a place
you haven't looked like for example
right here on the kitchen table aha
let's see that again an instant replay
Oh
they were there this whole time I guess
so right in front of your nose but the
important thing is that i found the
tickets I foul shut up those aren't our
tickets because I have our tickets I
have our tickets I have our I have our
big screen with the way what do you mean
you have I know you stole him out of my
gym bag and hit him in my jacket so I
stole them back to teach you a lesson
are you following all this unfortunately
yes so you've had our tickets all
afternoon yes and they erase you ha
where r think they were here in minute
McDonald's Virginia remember you can't
have your gym clothes before we left oh
that's right there in the laundry room
what the laundries right here why is it
here and why is it clean Brian did the
launch why would he do that maybe he's
tired of living in filth no no maybe we
can put them back together Oh God well
unless you got me well actually he
didn't those are ours yours but why did
you tell me they were ours sweetie all I
wanted for our anniversary was to rub it
in your face that I'm smart you're dumb
now I don't even get that I hate to say
it but this is exactly what you deserve
okay I didn't hate saying it it felt
kind of good I know we've been terrible
you two have a lot to learn from my
teammate Kn*fe I feel awful are you sure
you ruin your anniversary you people
make me sad you know what you are right
lately all we've been doing is picking
on each other and bickering I was just
hoping that this Stones concert would be
a fresh start for us it is a shame you
can't go and in a way you need this
concert more than we do dan you are you
thinking what I'm thinking yeah lets you
and me and these tickets get the hell
out of here
we don't need to go to this concert our
marriage is like the mighty oak there's
this crap we couldn't take your ticket
alrighty then what's funny so the other
night out for us you and I are a great
team and we always will be but these two
once again crap but the console you can
make our own music sweet tender music
will there be an encore that's up to you
probably not happy anniversary are you
sure absolutely you've earned them just
by acknowledging that your marriage is
in the toilet which reminds me Daniel I
need to leave immediately so sweet of
you thanks it's really great you guys
you guys are such good friends they have
the biggest parts in the entire world
and the smallest brain they walked right
into our trap what's going on oh we just
got fit Sumerians rollin stone tickets
so you never found yours we never had
ours cuz we're geniuses so you skull
your best friend's tickets yet we didn't
steal him not to be wrong we elaborately
tricked our best friends into giving
them to us it was simple really we were
in bed after dinner with Fitz and Mary
and angry that they said they had a
great marriage and we didn't they had
Rolling Stones tickets and we didn't and
then I had an idea
[Music]
first I had to convince Marian that I
lost the tickets and that your dad would
k*ll me if he found out meanwhile I had
to make Fitz think I've taken the
tickets out of your mom's gym bag and
hit him in order to t*rture her at that
point marion and Fitz were both on the
hook all we had to do was reeling me
wasn't easy I had to make Fitz believe I
was so desperate to find the tickets I
gone through the garbage and been
att*cked by Iraq meanwhile I was hard at
work fashioning a laundry blob
believable enough to make them think we
had ruined our stones and that's about
it they felt so sorry for us they
couldn't help but give us their ticket
this fake ticket blob in the pants
pocket was great how'd you get it to
look so real I found some old ticket
stubs on Brian's death what my weird out
tickets guys I got these signs at the
concert by his drummer John Bermuda
swore to people suck Ryan you have to
understand that our marriage has been
going okay that's not gonna work on me
all right you guys are going to be
together forever you're horrible
horrible people that nobody else could
ever love
oh I think I just heard our anniversary
[Music]
this is the best anniversary ever I know
I still play with balled-up not quite oh
hi what are you guys doing here to just
get some ticking no we came to get ours
back but what about our dying marriage
it deserves to die guys almost at us it
was the perfect plan if you overlooked
one crucial detail you underestimated
how much weird al ticket stubs mean to a
nerdy young boy how you raised a decent
boy like that I'll never know so walking
wedgie animal all right sorry we've been
such terrible friend yeah I'll give me
the real ones jealous over sorry I
apologized okay give us a real one
you
I would have
way trust max me
[Applause]
04x10 - Still a Team
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Bill and Judy Miller are a blue-collar Chicago couple trying to raise three children responsibly without sacrificing their youthfulness.
Bill and Judy Miller are a blue-collar Chicago couple trying to raise three children responsibly without sacrificing their youthfulness.