Okay, we're ready.
You can come down.
Okay.
Where are you? Oh.
Ah!
Whoa. Batman and Robin!
You notice
anything different about us?
You want to put on this one?
It's Batman's mommy.
Cute.
I don't celebrate
Halloween.
- What?
- I don't celebrate
Halloween.
- You don't celebrate Halloween?
- No.
Oh. Was there a reason?
Um... Well, I... Because it's
the highest satanic holiday
of the year.
So the Satanists do sacrifices
on this day.
- There's sacrifices?
- Yes.
I thought it was just going door
to door for candy.
Should you...
Did you want to put on this?
No.
Uh, Mommy isn't gonna
put on a costume,
- okay?
- Why?
Mommy doesn't, uh,
celebrate Halloween.
- Oh.
- I guess there's a lot
of ghosts and that's scary
for Mommy, maybe.
Yeah.
I've never seen that
celebrated anywhere.
Because you won't see it
because it's underground.
But where does it happen?
It happens at places
like Bohemian Grove
and lots of different places...
They're...
Have you ever heard
of Satanists?
- Yes.
- You should Google the origins.
- I saw another Batman mask.
- Okay, I had no idea.
Nathan, where have you been
all this...
Where have you been?
I thought it was just
trick or treating, really.
I didn't think it was like...
- There was a...
- Not everything is make-believe.
Some things are real.
Okay.
You have to open
your eyes to reality.
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I had been a father
for two days now,
and I was still getting
my bearings.
Angela had such a grand vision
for her future life,
and I was just starting
to understand what it meant
to be a part of it.
She saw herself living
as a homesteader,
which she told me
was a lifestyle
of self-sufficiency.
- Leafy greens.
- Uh-huh.
- Um, root veggies.
- Uh-huh.
- Look, tract...
- And some flowers.
- The tractor.
- Flowers.
That meant there
was a lot to do in the farm.
But I noticed it was mainly me
doing it
while she was in the house
raising our now
three-year-old son.
The water needs
to be evenly distributed. Um...
- You can run a line or run a hose.
- Okay.
And make sure they get
- down to the roots.
- Okay.
I'm not much
of a gardener,
and I definitely don't know
anything about irrigation,
but Angela seemed to prefer
being on childcare duty.
- Thank you, Adam.
- Which made sense.
She was good at it.
- Hello.
- Here are the eggs
- from the coop.
- Oh, nice.
- Hey, Adam.
- Hey. Who's that?
♪
But for this rehearsal
to function,
I needed this to feel
like a real family.
I just hoped
that I could make that happen
with everything else
I had going on.
This is where he, you know,
everyday,
I'm wearing the necklace
like this and he's in this urn.
These his ashes?
- Yeah, his ashes right in here.
- Oh.
Yep, so both of my grandpas
are here.
What's that other thing
on the necklace?
- That's the Punisher emblem.
- What's that about?
I like the Punisher
just because he's, uh...
You know,
he takes the law
into his own hands
to, you know, punish the people
that wronged him.
I had a number
of rehearsals already lined up
when I moved into the house.
Which meant
I was now having
to balance my time between work
and family.
- Nice to meet you, Patrick.
- He's an actor,
- he'll be playing your brother.
- Okay, cool.
This guy
I met named Patrick
had an unresolved issue
with his brother,
who is the executor
of their late
grandfather's will.
You know, my grandpa
in the will, he said,
you know, if I'm going gonna
be dating a gold digger,
that I shouldn't be allowed
my money to protect it.
- It said in the will?
- Yeah.
- You can't date a gold digger?
- Yeah.
And my brother considers
all the girls I've dated
recently,
including the current one,
that, uh, she's a gold digger
out for money.
Can I get the Caniac Combo?
Patrick wanted to change
his brother's mind
about his girlfriend being
a gold digger
at a Raising Cane's Chicken
Finger restaurant.
A place their grandpa used
to take them
as an annual family tradition
when he was alive.
He said if you are
with somebody
that can't be trusted
with money,
then I'm not supposed to give it
to you.
And as long as you're with Nes,
I'm not giving it to you.
- Dude, yeah, but that's if she was...
- That's a clause.
...a gold digger, but she's not.
She's a penny pincher.
She's a Jew about it,
pretty much. If I... You know,
and you know how the Jews are
'bout that kind of thing.
She just penny pinches
and she's not one to hurt me
in that regard.
Yeah, I'm trying to just calibrate,
because to me it's like,
"Oh, that's an anti-Semitic
stereotype."
- Okay, I got you.
- You know, but, um...
it is a personal conversation
with you and your brother
and I do want you
to be yourself.
Yeah, my brother would say
similar things,
- so, yeah. So, I mean...
- It would work? Okay, so...
It's like, "Oh, you know,
don't be so Jewish like to me on things."
- Yeah, I mean if that's how you communicate...
- Yeah.
...I don't want you
to use language
that wouldn't be effective,
- so...
- Yeah, then...
Patrick's
rehearsal presented
some fascinating dilemmas,
that I saw as an opportunity
to advance the art
of rehearsing.
So at what point
in the conversation
would you wanna say
- this is... a Jew?
- That... Yeah.
The biggest challenge
was that he couldn't seem
to follow any coherent strategy,
and I couldn't figure out why?
He's
an air traffic controller...
- Yeah.
- ...I mean, he needs logic,
that's... He keeps planes
from crashing.
- Yeah.
- And you know that... I don't know how much
that argument would just...
- Yeah.
- An arm wrestle's gonna work with him, or...
Oh, yeah, you know, I mean,
I get what you're saying.
On my first day
with him, I stayed pretty late.
And when I got home,
- Adam was already in bed.
- There you go.
You just did it
when you moved the small hand
under the big hand.
And by the time Angela
finished her bedtime story,
it was too late for mine.
♪
This was actually a book
that Adam picked off the shelf
- from the book up... the shelf upstairs.
- Oh, really?
Yep, he just picked this one
off the shelf.
And you've been
reading it?
Yeah, I've just been looking
at the different kinds
of flowers in there.
Cool. Um...
Does he ever ask about me
or anything?
Uh...
...I don't think so.
Not that I could think
at the moment.
♪
Hey! Good morning.
- How are you?
- I'm great, thank you.
How much?
- Is that enough?
- Yep.
I told Angela
that I would take Adam
for the day to give her time
to work on her Etsy business
selling home-made skin creams.
- Hey, here's your tea.
- Hi.
- Oh, thanks.
- And here's some cereal
- for breakfast. Okay.
- Thank you. Thanks.
Do you know
if it's gluten-free?
Um...
♪ There are several components
to a good rehearsal.
So far, my focus has been
on practicing the actions
and the words that you're likely
to encounter in your real life.
This is where Daddy works.
- This is Adam, he's my son.
- Hey, Adam.
She's not doing that at all,
dude. You don't know her.
- She is a gold digger.
- Dude, she's not.
But I've recently come
to realize
I've been neglecting
one key component
of every crucial life event.
Feelings.
When I did my rehearsal
with Core,
he was able to master the verbal
and physical choreography
of his situation.
I've decided to give you
a little buzz.
But when it came time
to confess his lie
at the real bar
to his real friend,
he completely froze.
It's like you could see
the adrenaline running
through his veins.
The pressure of the real
situation finally hit him.
And this is something
that never happened once
in his rehearsal. Which means,
I failed to prepare him
for how he would feel.
Me spending time with Adam
has only confirmed this theory.
I'm acting like a dad,
but I definitely
don't feel like one,
and that's a problem.
So, how can I prepare Patrick
for the feeling of sitting
across from someone
who's withholding an inheritance
he feels entitled to?
Well, there's a part
of this rehearsal
I've been keeping secret
from Patrick
to accomplish exactly this.
- Hey, Pat.
- Mm-hmm?
Hey, man. My family barn's
not too far from here.
- Mm-hmm.
- And there's a generator
that I have to actually move
out of that barn.
Yeah, I can help you move it.
After today's rehearsal,
I had the actor playing
Patrick's brother ask Patrick
out of character to help him
move an old generator
at his grandpa's barn.
- I'm Johnny. Patrick.
- Patrick.
- Nice to meet you.
- Pleased to meet you.
Thanks for coming out.
But this is not
the actor's real grandpa.
This grandpa is also an actor,
but Patrick doesn't know that.
They're filming me.
It's a documentary.
No, I know, they're just...
- All right. Nice.
- Yeah.
- That's it, yeah?
- Yeah.
- "Date night"?
- Yeah.
- I have to go. I promise...
- I'll help you out.
- Are you sure?
- Yeah. I can help out.
Dude, that's not his job
to do. It's your job!
- You can help me with this?
- Yeah, I can help you out. What do you need?
And that's when
the grandpa reveals that beneath
the floorboards is a map leading
to some gold that he had buried
on his property years ago
to avoid taxes.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Over the next
several hours I needed Patrick
and this old man to form
a bond.
Yeah.
A bond strong enough
that will result in this grandpa
including Patrick in his will.
Just days before he drops dead
of natural causes.
So then, the only thing standing
in the way of Patrick
getting this inheritance
is the wills executor.
The actor playing
Patrick's brother.
Giving Patrick's rehearsal
the exact same stakes,
and hopefully,
the exact same feelings
as his reality.
Okay, okay.
But before meeting up
with them,
I had to take Adam home
for his nap.
Hey.
Yeah, I was just thinking...
I don't know if you'd be open
to a part-time nanny maybe
- and that would allow us to...
- Oh, a part-time nanny?
Yeah. I would be open to that.
That way you
could do your work
and I could do mine.
Yeah, I think
that's a good idea.
If we can find a person
we trust.
Yeah, okay.
I'll see you later though.
- Okay, see you later, Nathan.
- Yeah. Okay.
- Thanks.
- Thanks.
You're good to put Adam
to bed?
- Yes.
- Okay, cool.
Patrick and the old man
had been searching for the gold
for hours. Two men in the woods
building trust as only men do.
Yeah...
But before finding it,
there was one more thing
I hoped would cement their bond.
Patrick frequently cited
changing his grandpa's diaper
in his final years as evidence
of why he deserved
his inheritance.
I f*cking changed his diapers, dude.
You never changed a diaper.
Whenever he went
to the bathroom, you know,
he'd call me, say, "Hey, yo,
I need to change my underwear,"
you know, new boxers.
I'm over there
wiping grandpa's ass, dude,
while we were watching
Dragon Ball Z.
I wanted Patrick
to have a similar experience
with this grandpa.
Yup.
It was a beautiful moment,
but I couldn't help but feel sad
knowing that this old man
would soon be dead,
and I was the one
who would have to break
the news.
Ah! There you go!
f*ck!
Yep.
Nice.
Yeah.
Hey, guys. Um...
So, we just got a call
from Isaac, the actor playing
Patrick's brother, and sadly,
he's had a death in the family,
so we're gonna take the day off
from rehearsing today.
- Cool.
- Um...
Let's go home and...
How about we spend some time
with our families and...
cherish every moment because...
you never know when it's gonna
be your last.
- Sorry about that. Yeah.
- No worries.
Pick up on a different day?
- Yeah, definitely. Yeah.
- Yeah.
Oh, Hermie! Good to see you.
Hey, I heard what
you said. Have you ever lied?
Then I can't believe
anything you say.
Why not?
All right. Isaac, everyone.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
- Thanks for coming in.
- Oh thanks, man, I appreciate it.
You sure you're okay
to rehearse today?
Yeah. Yeah, yeah,
I mean,
yeah, I wanna get back into it.
It'll take my mind
off my grandpa.
- Okay. Okay, cool.
- Yeah.
Um, we're just back
at the table?
- Yeah, yeah.
- Hey, dude.
- I'm sorry, man.
- Okay, thank you. Appreciate it.
I mean, I know you guys got
to spend some time together so.
Yeah, it was cool,
you know?
He obviously...
He obviously liked you.
Thanks, man.
The foundation
had been laid.
And Patrick
was about to be thrust
into the exact situation
he had come to rehearse.
Yeah, there was something
that I wanted
- to talk to you about...
- Mm-hmm.
...before we started today,
which was...
So, I went to the hospital
and saw my grandpa...
- Mm-hmm.
- ...before he passed and he...
told me he was pretty adamant
about that he wanted you
to have some of his gold?
Yeah. He was really, you know,
excited about finding it,
like, we found it
from found his map
- and everything and just...
- I mean, he clearly wanted
- you to have it.
- Yeah.
So, you guys made some kind
of connection, which is great.
- Mm-hmm.
- It's awesome.
I'll never forget that.
You know, that was awesome.
- Yeah.
- You know?
So, I... I mean,
I want to honor that,
but also, I feel
a little bit uncomfortable
giving you the gold
because everything I know
about Nessa being
a gold digger...
...makes me feel like
if I give you the gold,
what's to stop her
from just taking it
and leaving you.
♪ Nessa isn't a gold digger
'cause you know...
But I mean, like,
he wanted it to go to you...
- Right.
- ...and I'm a little bit afraid
that, like, Nessa being
a gold digger,
- she's just...
- In regard to Nessa being a gold-digger,
she's not. And I would just say
that, you know, I did say...
- I did earn it. She was...
- I mean, I feel bad 'cause like
if we hadn't had
this conversation...
- Yeah.
- ...about Nessa's past,
like, I wouldn't even know
to think this but...
But you don't know her,
so she's like a nobody to you.
All I know is, like,
what you told me about her.
Yeah, I told you great things
about her too,
so I mean, why are you
only picking on one side?
I could tell Patrick
was getting quite worked up,
so I took him aside and said
he could deal with this stuff
on his own time,
so we could begin rehearsing.
Okay.
- Hey.
- Hey, Chris.
- How's it going?
- You started without me.
Mm. I mean, you were taking
a second longer, but it's okay.
All right.
What do you need to talk about?
I'm telling you right now,
Nessa's not a gold digger.
She's been helping me out,
you know,
and my life has been better
because of her.
You should be able to say,
"Hey, look, you know what,"
you believe me on that. Okay?
Right, well, I... But I mean,
I think in Nessa's case, like,
she's hoping that you get
this inheritance money, right?
That, like, you're trying
to give...
Well, I wish you could
trust me more.
You know, I'm sorry
that you have any resentment
built up towards me,
but, you know...
...you're still
my younger brother,
and I love you, you know.
Congratulations for doing
everything you're doing,
you know.
I feel like we just...
We don't have
that communication no more.
And I wish we did sometimes.
I wasn't sure
what strategy Patrick was using,
but it wasn't one
we had rehearsed.
You know, 'cause it's, like,
I can't... Dude, I can't grieve.
I can't... I haven't been able
to grieve
'cause it's been
lawyers fighting
this whole time
since he passed away.
I have yet to have the day
where I just sit
and cry about it.
Yeah, I'm tired of having
little spurts about it.
I want it to be one and done.
So if you could just...
...find it in your heart, how Big Wilf
would've wanted you to,
and just give me my portion.
Where I don't have
to fight you on it,
where I don't have
to call you about it.
I could just handle it my way
and it'd be done.
That's what I want.
I think that's what
he would want.
So, please.
We're brothers, you know,
we're supposed
to be working together.
I'm just tired of living like
it's the day after he d*ed.
So, please, just let me move on,
man. Just let me have it.
Okay.
♪
And all right, it's your life,
it's your money,
it's what grandpa wanted
for you to have...
- Yeah.
- ...in the long run, so...
You're a man,
and you deserve
to make your own decisions.
- Thank you, Chris. Yeah.
- Yeah, man.
- Okay, give me a hug.
- Yeah.
Thank you, Chris.
- I love you, brother.
- I love you too.
All right, all right.
I'm done crying.
Thank you.
Something had happened
inside Patrick,
and it seemed like
we had made a breakthrough.
But this would only be a success
if he could repeat it
with his brother.
♪
- Which one do you want?
- Uh, watermelon.
Oh, watermelon.
Yeah, the nanny's
running a little late.
But I can, um,
I'll come by right after.
Oh, very good.
- Hi! How are you?
- Hi. Good, I'm Destiny.
Destiny, right.
Thanks for coming.
- This is Angela.
- Hi!
- Hi. Nice to meet you.
- That's Adam.
- You, too. Thank you.
- Yeah, welcome.
I have around
eight years' experience.
Began originally with my church
as a church leader.
So, Angela and I are kind
of in a non-traditional,
non-romantic relationship.
We're here
to co-parent this child
as part of a rehearsal.
- It's a simulated experience.
- Before we have... Yeah.
Before deciding
if we wanna do it
- in our real lives.
- Separately.
- Okay.
- Yeah, separately.
We wouldn't together, yeah.
- Oh, okay.
- Yeah, so the extensive camera
set up here is not
because we don't trust you.
- Okay, so...
- Yeah, they're not nanny cams.
- Oh, okay.
- Yeah, yeah.
So, this is a camera in regards
to the production?
- Yes. It's...
- Okay.
Same with the timer, I see.
Yeah, the clock
is a countdown clock
'cause this is an actor.
- Okay.
- The child, so he can only...
They can only work
for a certain amount of hours.
- Okay.
- So...
- it's really...
- Oh, yeah, that makes sense.
Okay, bye, Adam.
- Why?
- I'm going to work.
Ah! Come on.
♪
But when I got
to the warehouse,
Patrick wasn't there
and no one could track him down.
So I just had to wait.
I don't want you.
When I finally got him
on the phone,
he told me he was
at an amusement park
with his girlfriend.
I kinda had plans with the girlfriend now
to go have like a...
What's that... what's that cake...
What's that cake called? Uh...
Funnel cake. Like, I've never
had funnel cake before.
- Okay.
- So, yeah.
I'd like to have some-
a little bit of funnel cake.
- Treat myself for a second.
- Right.
Yeah.
He said
I could come join him
for funnel cake if I wanted.
But by the time I got there,
his cell phone had d*ed
and I couldn't find him.
I never heard
from Patrick again.
Maybe for some,
the rehearsal itself is enough.
♪
Okay.
What is it? Why do you keep
turning away from me?
I was starting to wonder
how I could so easily
create feelings inside
other people's rehearsals
when I couldn't do it
for myself.
- Where are you going?
- Hmm.
Okay, I'll just leave it here
with you
and then you can change it
when you're ready, okay?
This is the day
Mommy bought you home.
- You were just a baby.
- Yeah.
I had a photo album
made that blended false memories
with real ones
to help fill in the gaps
and enhance the feeling
of a complete life.
Thomas, the train!
I need to go there now!
Time moved differently
in here
and I was still getting used
to it.
It was behind it in here.
Okay, yeah. It was.
When your
three-year-old son goes
into his room...
- Adam?
- Yes, Dad?
...and emerges
as a six-year-old
a minute later,
it can be hard to stay
in the moment.
Um, so what
do you wanna do today?
So, you need to have
custom digital mirrors installed
that allow you to see yourself
age at the same pace
as your child.
But that means
the world around you
has to move faster too.
Seeds that are planted one week
have to be plump vegetables
the next.
Nature's time line
has to be accelerated...
and your brain desperately tries
to adapt to your new reality.
And then
every now and then,
there are these glimmers...
- That was kind of fun, huh?
- ...these moments
...where you forget, and you just feel like a family.
You're gonna get me?
Don't get me!
You threw it! What the heck!
That's when you know
the rehearsal is working.
No! Help. I'm dead.
I often feel envious
of others.
The way they can immerse
themselves in a world
with so little effort.
The way they can just believe.
I Googled origins
of Halloween and it came up
Celtic tradition.
Oh, maybe... Did you do
a keyword search?
"Halloween satanic origins"?
To gather only
what they need to know
and ignore the rest.
Yeah,
and Google's really censoring
a lot of stuff now.
That's weird.
Why would, um, Google be, like,
incentivized to suppress results
like that, like, what do
they have to gain?
'Cause they're controlled
by the Devil.
- And the Devil is...
- Google is?
Yeah, and the Devil's
biggest trick
is to convince people
that he doesn't even exist.
Yeah, maybe let's not talk
about this around the kids.
Yeah, okay. Yeah.
These are smart labels
and covers.
I think we need to take
that part off.
Emotions
are a funny thing.
They're not easy to engineer.
After all, there's only so much
you can do to deceive yourself.
And even when you think
of everything...
there will always be things
you forget.
01x03 - Gold Digger
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American docu-comedy with Nathan Fielder helping ordinary people rehearse difficult conversations or life events through the use of sets and actors hired to recreate real situations.
American docu-comedy with Nathan Fielder helping ordinary people rehearse difficult conversations or life events through the use of sets and actors hired to recreate real situations.