1x18 - Much "I Do" About Nothing

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Gossip Girl". Aired: September 2007 to December 2012.*
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1x18 - Much "I Do" About Nothing

Post by bunniefuu »

PREVIOUSLY

Georgina, to Dan: The moment I met you, I've been falling for you.

Chuck: Why don't you just tell Dan about her?

Serena: Because she has that tape of me, and she'll use it.

Chuck, to Blair: You held a certain fascination when you were beautiful. I don't want you anymore.

Serena, of Chuck and Blair: Eventually the two of you are gonna have to work out your issues.

Blair: What if I told you I knew where Georgina Sparks was?

Chuck: I'd say let's get the bitch.

Serena, in Queens: Thank God you called, I'm here looking for you right now. Where are you?

Georgina, on Dan's phone: With me.

Serena: What are you gonna do?

Georgina: It's not what I'm gonna do, it's who I'm gonna do it with.

Nate: The dr*gs were Dad's...

Anne: Your father is facing some other charges.

Bart: Would you do me the honor of being my wife?

Lily, of Bart: He proposed before we left, and I'm going to say yes.

Rufus: I'm sure you'll make a beautiful bride.

(They kiss.)

Georgina: You don't mind missing the after party?

Dan: There's no place I'd rather be.

(They kiss.)

Gossip Girl: "And who am I? That's a secret I'll never tell. You know you love me. XOXO, Gossip Girl."

ACT ONE

(Wandering Central Park, looking insane!)

Serena, on voicemail: Hey, Dan. I've been trying to reach you all night. I know it's early -- or late, if you haven't slept, like me -- but um, I'm pretty sure after this message I will have officially filled your voice mail, so uh... I'm, I'm coming over.

(She hails a cab.)

(Waking up in bed together!)

Rufus, answering phone: Hello?

Lily, waking: Who is it?

Rufus: Hello. Yeah, this is Rufus... Wow. I'd have to check with the guys, but I'm pretty sure we're available. Yeah, okay...

Lily, sitting up: Oh my God.

Rufus, hanging up: Oh my God.

Lily: ...What?

Rufus: I just got the call. Lincoln Hawk is hitting the road, we're opening for the Breeders. I guess that Luscious Jackson reunion didn't work out... Wait, what was your oh my God?

Lily, at the curtains: Oh, nothing. Nothing at all. It's day. As in, uh, as in wedding day, as in, uh... My. Wedding day.

Rufus: Right.

Lily: But, uh, congratulations.

Rufus: Thanks.

Lily: No, thank you, uh, for last night. It was, uh...

Rufus: -- Amazing.

(Her phone rings, he picks it up.)

Rufus: It's Bart.

Lily: That's what I was afraid of.

Rufus: Do you want me to answer it?

Lily: Do you want me to k*ll you? (Answering) Hello? No, I know. um... Well, that's because we're not supposed to see each other on the day of the wedding... Okay, that's fine. I'll meet you in an hour. (Rings off) I don't know what Bart wants, but I have to go, um, talk to him.

Rufus: What about? Any topics in particular?

Lily: Well, I'm sure I'll think of something.

(Waking up in bed together!)

Chuck, waking up to a smack: Ow!

Blair, jumping around: Who? What? When? Where? Why?

Chuck: We were up late plotting against Georgina. We must have dozed off.

Blair: And you were on the floor.

Chuck: Didn't want to hurt my back.

Blair: Why? It's not like you ever do anything athletic.

Chuck: Well, that's not entirely true, now is it?

Blair: Fine. Nothing that requires you removing your scarf.

Chuck: That was one time, it was chilly.

Blair: Enough about the past. Before you landed in my bed, we actually landed on a good idea.

Chuck, jumping into his jacket: Well, I trust you can take it from here. I have a best man speech to write, and no time to write it.

Blair: Don't worry. I can be bitch enough for both of us.

Chuck: I still got the scars on my back to prove it. (She shoves him out.) You know, they say if you love something, you should set it free...

Blair: Ugh. They say when you hate something, you should slam the door in its face.

Chuck: I love it when you talk dirty, Blair...

(She slams the door in his face.)

(Jogging in the Park, drug-free!)

Nate: Wow! A stint in rehab sure didn't slow you down a bit, huh?

Captain: I haven't felt this good in years. Clean and sober. Lawyer's feeling great about the trial.

Nate: Nice. Well, sometimes things just work out, huh?

Captain: Sometimes they do. We can celebrate tonight at the wedding.

Nate: When's, uh, when's Mom getting back from the Hamptons?

Captain: She's not gonna make it. The landscapers royally screwed up the yard. Apparently all our shrubs look like circus bears...

Nate: She's gonna miss the wedding to deal with that?

Captain: That, and, uh, the leak we had in the basement. Place is a mess.

Nate: I just, um, I was kinda hoping both you guys could meet Vanessa.

Captain: Oh, right. Right, I forgot you had a date.

Nate: Well, you and I can just hang till then...

Captain: The Yankees are on today. Joba's pitching lights out right now.

Nate: All right, sounds good.

Captain, answering his phone: I gotta take this. It's my sponsor.

Nate: Oh, sorry. Um, I'll just see you at home then?

Captain, alone: Hey, it's me. Yes, yes. Everything is discussed. Don't be late, don't be early. I'll slip out right after the ceremony. Just be there, waiting.

(S finally finds the loft!)

Serena, kissing him: Hey. Mm. I'm sorry. I know it's early, but I couldn't sleep. I had to see you, and you're here, which means you slept here, which is a relief, but not a surprise...

Georgina: Serena...

Serena: -- But that is surprising.

Gossip Girl: "They say love conquers all, but maybe love never met Georgina Sparks. Poor Humphrey. Looks like our resident moral compass isn't such a straight arrow after all."

ACT TWO

(Tension in DUMBO!)

Georgina: Serena, I'm sorry. The way Dan was talking, I thought it was over...

Serena, to Dan: Over?

Dan: Maybe not exactly "over," but...

Georgina: I should go. This is not what I had planned.

Serena: No, I think it's exactly what you had planned.

Dan: Serena, this is not Sarah's fault.

Serena: No, it's Georgina's!

Dan: Whatever.

Georgina: I never meant to get in between you two, I swear.

Dan: Hey, please. It's okay.

Georgina: No it's not, because now she's upset.

Serena, attacking: Yeah I am, you manipulative psycho bitch!

Dan: Whoa! Whoa! What are you doing? Serena!

Serena: You have been planning this the whole time! She's lying to you, Dan!

Georgina, leaving: Goodbye, Dan.

Serena: I am telling him everything.

Dan: Tell me what? What is it that you need to tell me?

(Later.)

Serena: So my mom took me to see his parents. And after talking to them, all I wanted was to come and find you, and tell you everything. Do you hate me?

Dan: No. No, no, of course not, it's ... It's just ... It's, uh, a lot. And I ... I really, really wish that you told me this sooner.

Serena: No, I... I know it's my fault. I... I was just so scared.

Dan: I get it. I get it. I mean, "Hey, I think I k*lled someone, and I'm being blackmailed by a crazy girl pretending to be someone else" doesn't quite ... roll off the tongue.

Serena: But it's all over, right? I mean, we can fix this?

Dan: Serena, I... Last night...

Serena, standing to leave: -- It's okay. You and Georgina and Vanessa were just hanging out, and it got late, and you fell asleep. I'll see you at the wedding? (At the door.) When I told my mom not to go away with Rufus, I said it was because you and I were forever. I knew I was right.

(S leaves, Dan calls B.)

Blair: Hello?

Dan: Blair. It's Dan...

(In a big metaphorical and literal building.)

Lily: Bart, darling. What is the big mystery? What are we doing here?

Bart: This is the first building I ever bought.

Lily: Well, it's quite impressive. You had a good eye even... Even back then.

Bart: Sometimes I like to come here, just to... Feel how it felt the first time I saw it.

Lily: Well, there is a comfort in revisiting the things that we loved ... when we were young.

Bart: But the truth is, I'm not that young man anymore. I think maybe I've outgrown this place, and holding onto it is keeping me from moving forward with what's most important to me now. What do you think I should do?

Lily: I think you should let it go.

Bart: I agree. Now can you do the same for me?

(Plotting with Queen B.)

Georgina, on her voicemail: "Hey, it's Sarah, you know what to do."

Dan: Voice mail.

Blair: Okay, like we talked about.

Dan: Hey, hey, it's me. D. Um, after you left, Serena and I got in a huge fight, and... And she said all this crazy stuff. I honestly don't know what to believe, but... But what I do know is I want to see you. So, uh, call me. (Hangs up.)

Blair: Excellent work. She's totally calling back.

Dan: This is so weird. I don't normally do plots against people.

Blair: Don't worry, virgin. I'll talk you through it. (G calls back.) Right on schedule.

Dan, answering: Hey.

Georgina, in a towncar: Hey. I just got your message.

Dan: Oh, good, good. So... Sorry about this morning with Serena. That was very awkward, to say the least.

Dan: Yeah, a little bit. Last night really changed things for me. Serena and I left things kind of uncertain, so I... I think I wanna end it. I know I do. Will you meet me?

Georgina: Our spot in the Park by the pond?

Dan, hanging up: See you there.

Georgina, to driver: We're turning around. One last battle, and the w*r is won.

Blair: Humphrey, you are a born liar.

Dan: Thanks, I think.

Blair: All that stuff about last night was genius. Anything you wanna tell me?

Dan: Uh, no. Like you said, just born to lie.

(Their spot in the Park by the pond.)

Georgina: Honestly, Dan, last night was fun, but I didn't really know what it would all mean to you.

Dan: Well, I... I normally don't jump into things like that, so when I do, it means a lot.

Georgina, taking his hand: Me, too. That's why I think we should be together forever...

Dan: Georgina. Look, Serena told me everything. All right? And I believe her.

Georgina: No, you don't understand. She was upset, and... And jealous. I'm sure she told you all kinds of things to make you think the worst of me...

Dan: -- No, just stop it.

Georgina: I never meant for this to happen, but it did. And I know you feel it too, I mean, how else do you explain last night?

Dan: I don't know. I don't know, and I wish I could.

Georgina: So you're just gonna go back to Serena like nothing happened, and just leave me all alone?

Blair, appearing behind her: Oh, you're not alone, G. I'm here now, and I brought some people who really, really want to see you. I think you remember your parents?

Gossip Girl: "The only thing feared by the spawn of Satan? Mom and Dad. Leave it to Blair Waldorf to know that b*tches don't just happen..."

Georgina: I...

Gossip Girl: "...They're made, by parents even more wicked than their offspring."

Georgina: Okay, I'm ... Mom, Dad, this is not what you think. You have to believe me.

Blair: There, there, Georgie. It's gonna be okay...

Mrs. Sparks: -- No, this time, it won't.

Blair: ...Or it won't. Your parents were so worried, G! They told me everything! How you're supposed to be on the equestrian circuit, but sold your show pony for cocaine...

Georgina: That was a difficult time, but I... I've put that behind me.

Blair: When? When you were in rehab? It's hard to get clean when you hitchhike into town, steal a credit card and book a ticket to Ibiza.

Georgina: You didn't see where they sent me, I mean, that place was awful! It was... It was in Utah! At least I lasted longer than Lohan.

Mrs. Sparks: We were trying to help.

Georgina: I've had enough. I have to go.

Mr. Sparks: Georgina, stop.

Blair, handing her a brochure for "PENANCE!": Yes. Stay, Georgina. I'll go. Oh, that reminds me. I almost forgot to leave you the information that I discussed with your parents.

Georgina: What's this?

Mr. Sparks: Where you're going.

Mrs. Sparks: A boot camp for troubled girls.

Mr. Sparks: Blair was kind enough to do some research.

Blair, whispering: Haven't you heard? I'm the crazy bitch around here. (Brightly.) Have fun at reform school!

ACT THREE

(The Humphrey Men of DUMBO.)

Dan: So how long you gonna be on the road?

Rufus: Well, I'll get the details. We'll figure it all out. But it's kinda cool, right?

Dan: Oh, it's very cool.

Rufus: Affirmation from my son. This is an historic moment.

Dan: Well, last night must have been pretty historic as well, considering when I came home, you hadn't.

Rufus: Yeah, last night was pretty special.

Dan: I'm sorry I skipped out early, by the way, Dad. I... I'd love to hear all about it, but I have a... Uh, a wedding. The wedding.

Rufus: Right. The wedding. Of course. So it's, uh, it's happening.

Dan: Yeah. Yeah, Dad. It is. (Standing.) Serena told me something about you and Lily. I... I don't understand it fully, but the reason Lily stayed away is because Serena asked her to.

Rufus, leaving: ...Thanks, Dan. That's, uh... Well, just thanks.

(V and Little J enter to show Dan V in the hideous dress Jenny just made.)

Jenny: Check out my latest creation. What do you think?

Dan: You clean up nice, Abrams.

(Not really. She grins sweetly anyway.)

(Blair gets out of a car in an even more hideous dress and enters the wedding, which is all a-bustle. Chuck is being thoughtful.)

Blair: Best man speech going that well?

Chuck: There won't be a dry eye in the house. Trust me. How did things go with Whorgina?

Blair: Not a dry eye there either.

Chuck: Good to know I wasn't missed.

Blair: Dan Humphrey actually lent a hand, it was nice to see him get his dirty for once. Not sure how much fun he had, though.

Chuck: No one ever enjoys their first time. Except you. () Save me a dance?

Blair, grabbing his throat: Now that Georgina is done, so are you and I. She was the last thing we had in common. (Kicking him in the shin and bouncing.) Break a leg.

Chuck: I think I just did...

(In front, while Eric deals with the wedding planner, the Archibalds arrive.)

Captain: There he is. Best man ready to do his Dad proud?

Chuck: Captain, good to see you. ...Nate.

(Nate stares angrily at Chuck.)

Captain: Clearly, I missed something when I was away. Little advice, fellas? You've been friends a long time. Whoever she is, she's not worth it.

Chuck: Couldn't agree more.

Nate: That's the problem.

(Upstairs, B locates S for an impromptu pre-wedding ugly dress party.)

Serena: Hey.

Blair: Hey. How go the prenuptials?

Serena: Well, my Mom's done this enough times. You'd think she'd be a pro by now, but I don't know. Her heart doesn't really seem in it.

Blair: You think this will be us in twenty years, onto our fourth husbands?

Serena: A girl can dream.

Blair: Speaking of true love... Dan isn't here?

Serena: He's coming.

Blair: So all is forgiven?

Serena: I'm working on it...

Blair: What do you have to work on? He's the one that has to forgive you.

Serena: Yeah. Yeah, that's what I'm working on.

(The Captain meets Dealer across the street from a huge society wedding in plain sight.)

Captain: You were supposed to get here during the reception so no one would know I was gone. You don't exactly blend in, you know?

Dealer: You gonna pay me or not?

Captain: Here.

Dealer: Good-bye.

(Chuck notes the deal and calls an usher over.)

Chuck: Do me a favor and keep an eye on Mr. Archibald.

(Lily, in her wedding gown, gulps white wine and puts on her diamond bracelet.)

Rufus, appearing: Need a hand with that?

ACT FOUR

Lily: Rufus, what are you doing here? I thought we had security.

Rufus: You want them to throw me out?

Lily: Well, I'd like the option, considering how much I'm paying them.

Rufus, attaching her bracelet: So you want me to leave?

Lily: I didn't say that.

Rufus: Do you want me to call off this wedding? And if you so much as nod yes, I will go out there and I will tell your fiancé and your guests they have go home.

Lily, charmed: I didn't say that either.

Rufus: We can figure this out.

Lily: -- How can we? It's been twenty years, and I don't think this is the moment to hash out the details. Look, we've already had the morning after today, what's gonna happen tomorrow morning?

Rufus: Lil, I just got a divorce. I don't wanna get married again, at least, not right away.

Lily, standing with her wine: But I do. I've been alone for quite a while now, and you know what? It's hard. And I love Bart. Not just because he has money -- I have enough money. Not that you can ever have enough money, but... I'm rambling. And I'm nervous, and ... You make me nervous.

Rufus: That's a good thing, right?

Lily: There are just too many questions, too many. What about Dan and Serena?

Rufus: Whatever their feelings are for each other, if we're standing here twenty years in the making...

Lily: Yeah, those twenty years... They have to count for something, don't they?

Rufus: I think they count for everything.

(At the altar.)

Eric: Where's my Mom? Shouldn't we be saying vows around now?

Bart: Your mother is a wonderful woman, Eric, but being on time? Not a strong suit.

(Dan and Vanessa arrive.)

Vanessa: Let's pray Lily is as slow getting dressed as you are.

Dan: You said you knew how to make a tie.

Vanessa: How would I know how to make a tie?

Dan: I hope Serena doesn't k*ll me.

Vanessa: For being a few minutes late to her Mom's wedding?

Dan: Well, that... Amongst other things. I really have to talk to her.

Vanessa: Let me guess, Georgina?

Dan: I thought if I confronted her, it would make things better.

Vanessa: But it didn't, and now...

Dan: I have to tell her.

Vanessa, spotting S: No time like the present. I... I'm gonna find my seat, okay?

Serena: Hey.

Dan: Hey. Hey. I have to talk to you.

Serena: I can't. I have to go.

Dan: No, it... It can't wait. It's about Georgina.

Serena: Dan, it's okay. I don't wanna know.

Dan: No, you need to. I didn't sleep with her.

Serena, relieved: Oh. Well then...

Dan: But... I may as well have.

Planner, approaching: Serena, there you are. Come. Yeah? Come, come, come.

Serena, freaked: I have to go...

(Rufus and Lily step out into the hall.)

Rufus: And here we go. Are you sure about this?

Lily: Ask me again, and I'll change my mind.

Rufus, taking her hand: I love you, Lily.

Lily: I love you, too, Rufus.

Rufus: ...And have a great wedding. And try not to trip or anything.

Lily, stepping out: Oh! I can't believe you put that in my mind. ...Well, luckily I have done this before.

(Vanessa finds her seat.)

Nate, hugging her: Hey!

Blair, gawking: Oh! How rude! Can you believe how late she is?

(Sad Serena leads the walk up the aisle in her hideous dress, followed by Lily. Bart is happy but stoic as usual. Chuck squeezes Bart's arm awesomely. Eric is sad.)

Gossip Girl, speaking along with the reverend: "Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today in the face of this company to watch this man (Dan) and this woman (Serena) ... totally eff things up. Excuse me while I pull out a hankie and pass it to S and D. Looks like I'm not the only one who cries at weddings..."
ACT FIVE

(Reception: Lily is bored; at another table, S picks at her food.)

Dan: How's your food?

Serena: Good. Thanks.

Dan: I was being sarcastic. You haven't eaten a bite. Let's go somewhere quiet. We can talk.

Serena, leaving: Excuse me. I need some air.

(The usher-waiter from earlier whispers to Chuck at Bart and Lily's table.)

Chuck: You sure? (Breathes; to Bart.) I'll be right back.

Chuck, at Nate's table with V: I need to talk to you. Your father's leaving.

Nate: He just stepped out to call my Mom.

Vanessa: Everything okay?

Nate: Yes.

Chuck: -- No.

(N takes C aside.)

Chuck: He just asked to have his car brought around.

Nate: He probably left his phone in it!

Chuck: Before the ceremony, I saw him with a guy, doing a deal. It looked like dr*gs.

Nate: My father is clean, Chuck. I don't need you spying on him...

Chuck: -- Look, I know you hate me. I was in love with Blair, and I'm sorry. We do not have time to argue about this.

(Nate decides he's telling the truth and leaves; Chuck follows; V is all WTF at the table.)

(Outside, Nate chases down the Captain's towncar.)

Nate: Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Stop! Stop! Stop! Dad, what the hell are you doing?

Captain: I left you a note at home.

Nate: Yeah? What's it say?

Captain: It says I'm sorry.

Nate: For what? Dad, if you've relapsed, it's okay. We'll get you help. Chuck saw you earlier...

Captain, opening the envelope: I wasn't buying dr*gs.

Nate: A passport? You're skipping town?

Captain: I'm gonna be a much better father to you from Dominica than I will be from jail.

Nate: No, Dad. I know you're scared, but we'll get through the trial.

Captain: No we won't! I'm guilty, Nate. I'm facing twenty-five years.

Nate, crying: So all this stuff about things looking good and working out, huh?

Captain: Yeah.

Nate: What about Mom?

Captain: Who do you think's paying for the private plane?

Nate: Why didn't you tell me any of this?

Captain: 'Cause I didn't want you to know anything, be an accessory. This is the best thing for everyone. I need you to step up right now. Be the man of the family for your mother.

Nate, walking away: It's been that for a while now.

Captain, touching his shoulder: Nate...

Nate, dropping him: That's for Mom.

(Back at the reception, B sits down to t*rture V.)

Blair: Looks like Nate isn't a fan of the fish... Or his date.

Vanessa: Blair, I'm with Nate and you're at the singles table. Deal with it.

Blair: I just feel sorry for you is all. Dating an Archibald is a tortured process. The endless supply of family drama, the fact that he never really got over Serena... Though, falling for someone who's in love with Serena, you already know how that feels, don't you?

Eric: Hey, have you guys seen Chuck? It's time for his speech.

Vanessa: I'll look for him. (Pointedly, to Blair.) Maybe he's with my date. Excuse me.

(Outside.)

Nate: So. Thank you.

Chuck: It's your Dad, it's bigger than... All the other stuff.

Nate, shaking his hand: I'm sorry... For all of it.

Chuck: So am I.

Nate: ...So you said you loved her. It's, uh... I never heard you say that before. About anyone.

Chuck: Ready to go back in?

Nate: I don't think I'm going back in. Just, um, tell Vanessa I ...

Vanessa, appearing: -- Tell Vanessa what? (To Chuck, who leaves.) They're looking for you inside.

Nate: It's a long story.

Vanessa: I have time.

(Nighttime. Dan approaches Serena in the empty seats from the wedding.)

Dan, pushing her down: No. Hey, hey, don't... Don't run away from me.

Serena: Dan, it's okay. So, you hooked up with Georgina, I kinda figured that when I saw her coming out of your bedroom this morning, but... I'm willing to let it go. I don't wanna break up with you.

Dan: Maybe... Maybe I want to break up with you. Maybe I can't just let it go. You lied to me over and over. And it was easy for you.

Serena: No, it wasn't easy...

Dan: I got seduced by a girl pretending to be someone else, and you knew...

Serena: -- But I couldn't say anything!

Dan: Well, because you... You were afraid I'd find out you thought you k*lled someone.

Serena: I was hoping you'd understand.

Dan: I am the most understanding person in the world. But this? And, and, and this is not about who you used to be, your past, or who you were when we met. I mean, the only reason I was with Georgina was because yesterday morning you slept with two random guys you met in a bar.

Serena: No, no, I ... I didn't. I just said that.

Dan: ...How is that less crazy?

Serena: Because I thought it would be easier to forgive than what I really did.

(No response.)

Serena: So what, Dan? We're exactly where we were at the Bass's brunch when we first started dating? I'm not who you thought I was, and you can't forgive that.

Dan: I... I just think too much has happened. I don't know how to make things go back to what they were.

Serena: So that's it then? It's just... Have a good summer, I'll see you back at school?

Dan: I guess. Yeah.

(She walks away.)

(The Toast, which B watches intently.)

Chuck, clinking his glass: I'd like to propose a toast. My father is someone who goes after what he wants, and Lily van der Woodsen was no exception. In typical Bass man fashion, his pursuit was direct and at times, not exactly subtle. One thing I learned from my father's courtship of Lily is the importance of perseverance. That in the face of true love, you don't just give up, even if the object of your affection is begging you to. And one thing I learned from Lily is the importance of forgiveness. She gave my father the gift of a second chance. And in kind, I've watched him become someone actually worthy of that gift. And one day, I hope I'll be lucky enough to find someone who will do the same for me.

(Serena enters, feeling cruddy; Lily takes her hand.)

Chuck: To the happy couple!

(While Lily and Bart have their first dance, B approaches C in the corner.)

Blair: That was quite a speech. All your hard work must have paid off.

Chuck, dancing her onto the floor: That wasn't what I wrote. I was inspired in the moment. Look, I know I said some horrible things, even for me.

Blair: You mean blogging to Gossip Girl about our sex life? And comparing me to your Dad's sweaty old horse?

Chuck: What's your point?

Blair: What's yours?

Chuck: You don't belong with Nate. Never have, never will.

Blair, kissing him: ...You don't belong with anyone.

(S, leaving, is weirded out by this; so much so that she runs straight into Lonelyboy.)

Dan: Oh, sorry. I, uh, I'm looking for Vanessa, have you seen her? I'm trying to get out of here.

Serena, hurt: No, I haven't seen her.

Dan, ducking away: Okay.

Planner: Serena, Dan, out on the floor.

Serena: Oh no, thank you.

Dan: Oh, no. No, no...

Planner: The bride and groom are asking for photos. Here we go.

Dan: Oh, that's not necessary.

Planner, as the photographers flash again and again: Yes, it is. You're gonna want to remember this night forever, yeah?

(He pushes Dan into S's arms and they dance.)

Dan: I'm sorry.

Serena: Just smile.

Chuck, breaking the kiss: Let's take it slow this time. Do it right.

Blair: Chuck Bass is a romantic. Who knew?

Chuck: Well now you do. That's all that matters.

(She leads him off the floor as the photogs leave D and S alone.)

Serena: He's gone. You can let go now.

Dan: I know. I don't want to.

(She rests her temple on his forehead and they dance until they are the only couple left.)

ACT SIX: ONE WEEK LATER

(Jenny calls Rufus on his tourbus.)

Rufus: Hey, Jen.

Jenny: Ooh! Oh my God, Dad!

Rufus: Well, hello to you too!

Jenny: Mom's out getting bagels, Dan's at the gallery, and the mail just came.

Rufus: I appreciate the play-by-play, it feel as if I'm there.

Jenny: Yeah, well, uh... The letter came, from Parsons? About my internship?

Rufus: What?

Jenny: I don't know. I'm too scared to open it. What if I didn't get it?

Rufus: What if you did?

Jenny, giggling: Okay. I'm opening it. Hold my hand over the phone.

Rufus: I got ya.

Jenny: And... Ahh! I got it!

Rufus: That's great, Jen. Does it say who it's with?

Jenny: Yeah. Um, it's with... Heh. Eleanor Waldorf Designs.

Rufus: Well, isn't that Blair's Mom?

Jenny, chuckling and overwhelmed: Yeah. It sure is.

(In B's bedroom, helping her pack.)

Serena: So, Tuscany with Chuck? Sounds romantic ...Minus the Chuck part...

Blair: He invited me. In his father's private plane. And I was headed to France, so...

Serena: So it's worth a week with Chuck to avoid airport security?

Blair, flashing some black lace garters: Oh, don't worry. I'm gonna frisk him.

Serena, laughing: Oh! B, gross!

Blair: What can I say? He brings out the worst in me. And weirdly, I think I bring out the best in him. He's been a perfect gentleman this whole week.

Serena: Is that why you're driving yourself to the airport?

Blair: He wanted to see his Dad before he left. Besides, we're taking the helicopter to Teterboro. I have to sit in the jump seat so that ... I can tell the pilot if I have any thoughts on his flying.

Serena: Oh B, what's it gonna take to get you to relax?

Blair, in a gross voice: Chuuuuuuuuck...

Serena: Oh! God! My ears are bleeding! Make it stop!

Blair, bringing it down: You gonna be okay? Alone, all summer, without your best friend, who always gets you out of trouble?

Serena: Yeah. I'm... I'm looking forward to staying out of trouble for a while.

Blair: ...Have you talked to Dan?

Serena: No. Not since the wedding. It's for the best. For him, for me. I'm fine.

(S fake-laughs; B worriedly strokes her arm.)

(Bass Suite; C on the phone with N.)

Chuck: Yeah, I'll be taking off soon. I wanted to catch my Dad before I left, see how the honeymoon went, catch a glimpse of a man in love.

Nate: Well, why don't you just take a look in the mirror, Chuck? Taking Blair to Europe, huh? Things are getting pretty serious.

Chuck: It's no big deal. My Dad's jet was going to Italy on business, Blair was going to France. So, you ... Planning to spend the summer sweating it out in Brooklyn?

Nate: Uh, I think my time across the Bridge is over.

Chuck: Nathaniel, what happened with you and Punky Brewster?

(In the Gallery.)

Dan: So tell me, what... What exactly happened with you and Man-Bangs?

Vanessa, laughing: He is prettier than me, but that wasn't the problem.

Dan: And so what was it then? The, uh, the whole perpetually stoned, brooding guy thing?

Vanessa: I actually enjoyed the quiet. It was a nice change of pace from you.

Dan: Oh. Was it his past with Serena?

Vanessa: No. That's just your issue.

Dan: It must've been, uh, the different worlds thing, right, one of you always feeling like a fish out of water?

Vanessa: I know exactly what you're doing. Ask me enough questions about Nate, and I won't ask you about Serena.

Dan: Best offense is always a strong defense. ...I, um... I'm not ready to talk about it. Her.

Vanessa: Good. Then maybe it'll be quiet for thirty seconds.

Dan: No, no, no, no, no. You better get used to it, Abrams. Welcome to the summer of Dan Humphrey, babbling at your ass 24/7, from dusk till dawn. Come Labor Day, you're gonna be so sick of me...

Vanessa: It's been thirteen years, and I'm still not sick of you.

Dan: Oh, not for lack of trying.

(Back in Manhattan, S spots N on the street, talking to C.)

Nate, on the phone: Vanessa's a great girl, but I have too much going on right now. All right. All right. Bye.

Serena, grabbing his arm: Hey!

Nate, hanging up: Hey!

Serena: I was just seeing off Blair.

Nate: I was just on the phone with Chuck.

Serena: Blair and Chuck. Now there's a couple you can root for.

Nate: Yeah, well, if they're happy, I guess I'm happy.

Serena: Oh, come on, Nate. When have you ever been happy?

Nate: Wow! The gloves are off today, aren't they?

Serena: I am feeling frisky. You know how I get in the summer!

Nate: Yeah, I do.

Serena: Well, you won't have to witness any of it. I'm locking myself away in the Hamptons house. Well, it is a summer to reflect... Alone.

Nate: I could not agree more. I just need to take a break away from everything and everyone.

Serena: Yeah.

(They take off; S turns back around.)

Serena: Hey. Um, if you wanna reflect alone together, I'll be around.

Nate: What are you up to now?

(Bass Helipad with some ugly random boiler room guy.)

Blair: Excuse me, is that the Bass helicopter?

Random: No, it's not here yet. Are you on the Bass marketing team, too?

Blair: No. I'm a guest of Chuck Bass.

Random: If he's anything like his father, he must be...terrifying.

Blair: He's not all bad. He is taking me to Tuscany.

Random: That's romantic. So where is he?

Blair: On his way. I had to get here early. I like the jump seat.

Random: Oh.

Blair: What?

Random: Nothing. It's just... I like the jump seat. I have this thing about flying, and it makes me feel more...

Blair: In control?

Random, approvingly: Yeah.

Blair: Yeah.

(Bass Suite.)

Bart: Who's that?

Chuck, putting away his phone: Blair. I should get going, I just wanted to see you before I disappeared for the summer. I'm glad you had a good trip.

Bart: I hope you have a good trip, too. You deserve it. And I must say, I'm proud of you.

Chuck: Dad, my best man speech was a week ago. And it was nothing.

Bart: Polite? Modest? You really are growing up.

Chuck: Let's not get carried away. I plan on holding on to my youth for as long as possible.

Bart: Sometimes that choice isn't up to you.

Chuck: That's the best thing about Blair. She knows me, knows I'll never change.

Bart: Yeah... Until you take her away to Europe on a private jet. That is gonna change everything. But that's a good thing, son. Having a real girlfriend will force you to learn about responsibility, sacrifice, being faithful... Taking into account somebody else's feelings, not just your own.

Chuck, horrified: ...Feelings?

Bart: All the partying and the women... You will come back from this summer a new man. Take my word for it.

Chuck: ...Oh, I will.

Lily, entering and laughing with Lydia Hearst: Oh! There you are. This is Amelia. She's been helping me with the apartment renovations.

Bart: Great. Nice to meet you.

(Chuck gets a text: "Can't wait to see u xo B." Everything slows down and the music gets intense as Bart and Lily leave, then C drops B's bouquet in the garbage and offers Amelia a single flower.)

Chuck: ...Amelia. A moment?

Amelia: What's this?

Chuck: I was hoping we could discuss what you have planned for my room.

Amelia: And who are you?

Chuck: I'm Chuck Bass.

(Helipad. B's sad with her phone.)

Random: Everything all right?

Blair, reading C's text lies: Yeah. It... It's Chuck. I guess his Dad is getting in late, and he won't be able to make the flight. But he's booking something commercial.

Random: Well, I'd be willing to flip you for the jump seat.

Blair, setting off with him: Bart did just get the jet reupholstered. And I do like when the ladies make you those cookies... What's ten hours? Absence makes the heart grow fonder, right?

Gossip Girl: "They say a leopard can't change his spots, but some things do change..."

Gossip Girl, over Rufus back on the tourbus: "The path not taken can become a road trip..."

Gossip Girl, over Jenny sewing another outfit madly: "Being grounded can lead to something groundbreaking..."

Gossip Girl, over sh*ts of S&N, D&V, and the helicopter: "And whether they're sweating it out on the sultry streets or cooling their heels in the Hamptons., no one does summer like New Yorkers. Grab your shades and your sunblock, this one looks like a scorcher. Until then, you know you love me. XOXO, Gossip Girl."

END
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