09x23 - The Past and the Furious
Posted: 12/04/22 10:47
- ♪ Timmy is an average kid
♪ That no one understands
♪ Mom and dad and vicky always giving him commands ♪
- Bed, twerp!
- ♪ The doom and gloom up in his room ♪
♪ Is broken instantly
♪ By his magic little fish who grant his every wish ♪
♪ 'Cause in reality
♪ They are his oddparents
♪ Fairly oddparents
- Wands and wings.
- Float-y crown-y things.
- ♪ Oddparents, fairly oddparents ♪
♪ Really mod, pea pod, buff bod, hot rod ♪
- Obtuse, rubber goose, green moose, guava juice,
Giant snake, birthday cake, large fries, chocolate shake!
- ♪ Oddparents, fairly oddparents ♪
♪ It flips your lid when you are the kid ♪
♪ With fairly oddparents
- Yeah, right.
All: surprise!
- Ah! - Oh, it is just turner.
- What are you all doing in my room?
- We are here for cosmo and wanda's surprise party.
It is their ,-year anniversary
Of being fairy godparents.
Don't tell me you forgot. - Of course I didn't forget.
I got them this, uh, math homework.
- This party stinks. Where are the pony rides?
The bouncy house?
The dance floor that opens into a pit of acid?
Well, at least the dog brought a dip bowl.
- It's not a dip bowl.
Timmy's dad is making me wear a cone
Until I stop chewing the furniture
And the brake lines in his car.
- I can't stop!
I stopped!
- Guys, please don't tell cosmo and wanda
I forgot their anniversary.
All: surprise!
Timmy forgot your anniversary!
- Aw, you shouldn't have,
And by that, I mean,
Timmy, you shouldn't have forgotten.
- He didn't, wanda. Look!
He got us math homework and a dog lamp.
- That does it.
- Happy anniversary, you crazy kids.
Sorry I can't stay.
- Is there a medical emergency, dr. Rip studwell?
- No, I was invited to a better party than this,
But I did get you a little something.
- It's a bill! He charged us for his visit.
- Uh-oh, our insurance
Doesn't cover anniversary parties.
[Yelps]
- The dumbbell for the dumbbell was my gift.
And now that cosmo's out of the picture,
Let us run away together, my little hot tamale.
- It's my anniversary, you pig.
- I got you guys something too.
- Oh, look, cosmo.
It's a photo album of all our old fairy godkids.
- The good ones,
Who would have remembered your anniversary.
- Hey, guys, I have an idea.
Why don't we go visit some of the fairy godkids
From your past?
It'll be the perfect way to celebrate your anniversary.
- Timmy, that's so sweet. - Yeah, whatever.
I'm just looking for a way to ditch this lame party.
- You and me both, brother.
Come on, everyone. Let's go crash studwell's party.
I hear there's gonna be some rowdy nurses there.
All: ooh, rowdy nurses!
- Timmy, visiting our old godkids
Is a great way to celebrate.
Who should we start with?
- Oh, we're actually gonna do that.
Now that everybody's gone,
I was just gonna play video games,
Maybe take a nap, watch some mindless tv.
- Let's start with our very first fairy godkid,
Erg, the cave boy.
Time to poof back to , b.c.
- I hope "b.c." Stands for "before cats."
- There he is, erg wheel.
He's working on the invention that'll change the world,
The erg!
- He invented the wheel, cosmo.
- Well, who the heck invented the erg?
Look, wanda, it's prehistoric us.
I'm not wearing any underwear.
- See you later, erg.
We're going bowling with fred and wilma.
- [Grunting]
- Watch your mouth, erg. There are ladies present.
- This is awesome. Let's go meet erg.
- Not so fast, timmy.
You can't interfere with the past.
If you change anything here, it could alter the future.
- Squirrel-asaurus!
[Laughs]
- No, sparky!
If you eat that squirrel,
There could be a future without squirrels.
- What do we care, wanda? They're just fluffy rats.
Go get him, sparky!
[Dinosaur growls]
Oh, no. The fluffy rat's angry mother.
[Screams] - cosmo, come back.
- [Grunts]
- Hey, erg, I'm not supposed to talk to you
Because it could totally ruin the future,
But do you want to play a video game from the future?
It's got awesome -d flesh-eating zombies.
- Huh?
[Grunts]
[Grunts]
- Again, that might be a little advanced for you.
- [Laughing]
[Dinosaur roaring]
- [Screams]
Well, I don't think I changed the future,
But I am gonna have to change my pants.
- Sparky, spit it out.
- Well, guys, it was great meeting erg,
Who I did not introduce to future things.
Now, let's move on to another godkid
So we can get home
Before my favorite mindless tv show.
Move, move, move!
- Cosmo, remember him? The earl of sandwich.
- You bet I do.
He invented the earl, whatever that is.
He invented the sandwich.
All right, everyone, before we go,
Make sure we don't leave anything from the future behind.
Timmy, didn't you have a video game?
[Game device beeps tune]
- What? No, what?
I didn't do it!
- Aw, there he is, cosmo, the earl of sandwich
Right before he invented the sandwich.
- Looking at those shirt stains, it might have been better
If he invented the moist towelette.
- It's th century us.
Look at me wearing a powdered wig.
- What's on your head, cosmo? - A powdered donut.
Both stylish and delicious.
- Hey, earl.
We're gonna go visit the earl of nachos.
Apparently he invented something pretty awesome.
I don't know what it is,
But the earl of movie theaters is dying to get his hands on it.
- Let's see.
Roast beef, lettuce, bread.
If only there were a way to jam them all together
And shove them in my mouth at the same time.
- I don't think this earl guy
Is gonna share his roast beef,
So I'm going for those nachos.
- Come on, cosmo, we better go get sparky.
The fate of nachos is in our hands.
- That's a lot of pressure and a lot of squirty cheese.
- Eureka!
I can use these two pieces of bread
As a convenient carrying case.
- Kid from the future coming through.
Don't interact with me. Hey-ho!
Is that peppered ham?
- Oh, dear, you've made me spill my flagon of ox milk.
Look, the bread is soaking up the spill.
Gracious me, I invented the spill soaker upper.
- It's called a sponge, dude. - I invented the sponge dude!
- I'm going to be famous!
- We're back, timmy.
We stopped sparky from eating the nachos
And introduced him to the earl of kibble,
So everything is okay.
- Mmm, I'd love a corn beef on rye.
Where's the earl of sandwich? - What?
No, what? I didn't do it!
Uh, why don't we go see another fairy godkid?
Move, move, move!
Ooh, ben franklin.
How about we visit him? - Good idea.
I think I owe little benny an apology.
Last time I saw him,
I told him to go fly a kite.
[Dramatic music]
♪
Holy cow, he's still flying a kite.
It was just an expression.
Oh, no, I just remembered
I told little amelia earhart to get lost!
- Benny, we're going inside.
It's pouring rain out here. - What do you mean?
You're the one who told me to fly a kite.
- If I told you to jump in a lake,
Would you?
Oh, no! - What?
Cosmo, you didn't tell one of our other godkids
To jump in a lake, did you?
- No, I just remembered I left my bowling ball
At fred and wilma's.
[Lightning zaps]
- Ha, ha, the lightning missed me.
[Shouts and screams]
Well, at least water doesn't conduct electricity.
[Screams]
- Oh, no, sparky. We got to go save him.
Do you have a colonial squirrel in your mouth?
[Squirrel gibbers]
[Dramatic music]
- Oh, no, ben! Watch out for the lightning!
[Screams]
- I say, why did you forcibly throw me to the ground?
- Uh, wasn't me. It was, um, the wind.
- Well, mysterious stranger,
You've made me realize
Lightning is a dangerous source of energy,
So I'm gonna figure out how to power things
With something else.
A potato, maybe.
- Wait, no! Electricity's not bad.
I mean, I'm the wind.
- What happened to benny? - Who knows?
I mean, stop blaming me for things.
Who's the next kid?
- Oh, that's megan bacon.
- [Screams] not megan bacon.
- What's so bad about her? - Nothing now.
But when she was a kid, she was the--
Oh, what's the word? Oh, yeah--
Embodiment of evil.
- She wasn't that bad, cosmo.
You know, timmy,
She went on to open the cake 'n bacon.
- That's my favorite restaurant. I want to meet her!
- Timmy, you can't interact with her, remember?
- Of course not. I'm the wind.
Let's go!
Hey, where's the old version of you guys?
- We were hiding in the closet,
Which I'm gonna go do now.
She's terrifying, timmy. Come on, sparky!
- Will you two morons get back here?
- Hey, who are you? - Me?
Oh, I'm, uh, the mailman.
I just came in your room to tell you
There's no mail today.
You know, someone told me you were terrifying,
But you look harmless.
- I'm sweet as pie.
[Laughs maniacally]
I'm just miserable
'Cause my fairies are making me do my homework.
They never let me play. - Really?
That's crazy.
Kids shouldn't be oppressed by homework,
Chores, and responsibilities.
You should do whatever you want to do.
- Great idea, mr. Mailman.
Let's play super villain and victim.
I'll be the diabolical caped bacon,
And you'll be the loser I annihilate
With my bacon blaster.
- Okay. Wait, what?
- Feel the burn!
[g*n zaps]
- [Screaming]
Hot bacon!
You're the embodiment of evil!
- This is way more fun than homework.
My reign of terror begins.
- Is the little demon gone? - Nah, he's still here.
How's it hanging, timmy?
- Sport, you didn't interact with megan, did you?
- Me? No, what? Megan, what, who?
Why don't we forget the whole silly time traveling?
Let's go celebrate your anniversary at the cake 'n bacon
With your best fairy godkid ever.
- We can't, timmy.
Little mahatma gandhi didn't eat bacon.
- No, me. I'm the best fairy godkid.
- [Laughing] oh, good one.
- Hey, wait a minute. What happened to dimmsdale?
Oh, no, I totally messed up the future.
I'm the worst fairy godkid ever!
- If your dad was here, he'd totally put a cone on you.
- Sparky, dimmsdale gone crazy!
What have I done to the world?
[expl*si*n]
- That is my cue to berate you, turner.
Because of your meddling,
Little erg the cave boy never invented the wheel!
- So that's why all the cars have weird tires.
- Ee--driving, ow-- hurts, ow!
- And ben franklin never discovered electricity.
- Which explains why dimmsdale is powered by a giant potato.
- And, perhaps worst of all,
The earl of sandwich never invented the sandwich,
Which is why I'm eating a fistful of lunch meat
And squirting mustard into my mouth.
[Groans]
I wanted deli mustard, not dijon!
You didn't mess with the kid who invented with deli mustard.
Did you? - Relax, jorgen.
I'll just get my fairies to un-wish the whole mess.
Cosmo, wanda?
- Don't waste your breath, turner.
Because they failed
To prevent you from ruining the past,
They have been fired as fairy godparents.
- Fired? Where are they?
- Well, cosmo got a big job in advertising.
[Choral music]
- / Off on cell phones!
[Shouts]
- What's a matter you?
I'm paying you to advertise my restaurant.
The sign--she clearly says "pete's pizza."
- I can't read the sign. It keeps spinning.
- You're fired!
- Yay! I hated this job.
Now I can live out my dream of working on my tan
And sipping lemonade.
- And wanda got a job at the fairy world library,
Though I have a feeling that won't last long.
- [Hushed] excuse me.
I'd like to check this book out.
- [Shouting] do you have your library card?
All: shh! - Use your inside voice.
- This is my inside voice!
- Oh, no, how am I gonna fix this without my fairies?
Sparky, you got any ideas?
Oh! I've lost sparky too!
- Nah, I just went back in time to get more bacon.
- Wait a minute, if you can travel back in time,
That means we can fix everything I messed up.
- Well, hurry up.
I have to figure out what to do
With this handful of tuna salad.
[Game device beeping tune]
- Erg, game bad.
Wheel good.
- You know I can speak, right?
I totally just beat your high score.
- What? No way.
Two-player mode, you and me, right now.
I mean, just finish the wheel!
- [Grunting]
- Okay, first problem fixed.
- Never say "fixed" in front of a dog, timmy.
- Just poof us to the earl of sandwich.
- This is perfect.
I can use the rye bread to mop up this gravy
And the pumpernickel for the really tough spills.
- Okay, just stop it!
You're supposed to use the bread to hold the food together,
Like this!
Where's the roast beef?
- [Muffled] I don't know.
- Spit it out, sparky.
The fate of the world is at stake.
- This is fantastic! I'll call it the sports bra.
- Just call it "the sandwich," bozo.
- [Gasps] the sandwich bozo.
That has a nice ring to it.
Thank you, weird kid with a feminine hat.
- Come on, sparky.
Let's go push ben franklin into a bolt of lightning.
Hey, ben, time to go back outside
And discover electricity.
- But potatoes are the power source of the future
And the perfect side dish for sandwich bozos.
Maybe someday I'll use a giant potato
To power a whole town, kind of.
- Sounds like this dude's already been hit by lightning.
- Just go.
- [Screams]
- Are you alive? - Just barely.
- Good enough. Our work here is done.
Yeah! We did it.
Dimmsdale's back to normal.
But why aren't cosmo and wanda back?
There must be something I still haven't fixed.
- Please stop saying "fixed."
- Timmy turner, we meet again.
- Megan bacon? Is that you?
- That's right, timmy,
And because you encouraged me to be myself,
I never opened the cake 'n bacon.
Instead, I lived out my dream of being an evil super villain,
The caped bacon!
- Okay, sister.
It was cute when you were ten,
But an adult bacon-themed villain
Is super lame.
- Really?
Let's see if you think this is lame.
Grease release!
- Whoa!
- Wow, I don't know whether to be terrified
Or lick the highway.
- Sparky, we got to go back in time
And stop her from being herself,
'Cause herself stinks.
- You got it, timmy. - Not so fast.
Your fairy dog can't help you.
In fact, no one can stop me from fulfilling
My high-cholesterol evil plan.
[Laughing]
- Hang on, sparky! I'll save you!
- Take your time, dude. She's got a lot of bacon.
[Screams]
- This is terrible.
I got to figure out what she's up to
And rescue sparky,
But where did she take him?
And I have my answer.
- Hey, nut job, I got to watch my cholesterol.
You got an turkey bacon?
- Turkey bacon's not real bacon!
- I got to stop her. Oh, I know.
I'll just wait until her diet kills her.
- Soon my giant frying pan will cook fairy world,
And I'll destroy cosmo and wanda for trying to stop me
From becoming the evil super villain
I was meant to be.
[Cackles]
- Not so fast, megan bacon.
Whoa!
[Grunts]
- Nice try, timmy,
But I've coated the floors with bacon grease.
- Why?
- It's part of my bacon-themed villainy.
- Cosmo and wanda were only trying to help.
They just wanted you to use your love
Of delicious comfort foods for good instead of evil.
Anyway, my magic dog and I are gonna stop you right now.
Get her, boy!
Ladies and gentlemen, my loyal dog, sparky.
[Screams and grunts]
- Ha!
I've trapped you with my ba-constraints.
- Wow, this stuff is thick.
- It's canadian bacon.
In two minutes, fairy world will be completely fried.
Then I'll place it on a giant paper towel
To absorb all the grease!
[Laughs]
And now, to boil you alive in molten lava.
- Okay, how's that bacon-themed?
- I ran out of bacon ideas. Sue me.
[Dramatic music]
- [Screams]
- I got you, timmy,
And I brought reinforcements too.
All: heroes of history, unite!
- Seriously?
I'll smash you all into bacon bits.
Ooh, that's good.
I should use that one instead of the lava thing.
Anyway, you're too late. Fairy world is doomed.
- Hurry, guys.
We only have a minute to save cosmo and wanda.
- [Shouts] ow, my foot!
You hairy little jerk.
- Electricity powers, activate!
- I'm blinded intermittently!
[Screams]
- Good work, guys.
You're, um, a force to be reckoned with.
Now it's time to shut down that frying pan.
- Think again. You're all history.
- Technically, only three of us are from history.
- Shut up, ben franklin.
Fairy world is about to go on my sizzle reel.
Ha, I am k*lling it with the bacon puns.
♪
- Is it me, or is it getting hot in here?
All: shh!
- I've finally fulfilled my lifelong dream
Of sitting on a street corner, sipping lemonade.
[Fairies screaming]
- Cosmo, fairy world's burning up.
We got to poof ourselves out of here.
- Can't you see I'm working?
- We cannot escape!
The evil megan bacon has put a butterfly net
Over fairy world!
- That fairy godkid has been nothing but trouble.
- Yeah, megan always was a bad seed.
- I was talking about timmy. Who's megan?
- Guys, we got to get to that control panel.
But how?
- [Laughs triumphantly]
I've got three letters for you, megan bacon.
B-l-t.
[Buzzer blares]
- We did it! Fairy world is saved.
- And we all got blts!
- Why, you little...
Ah, bacon grease!
[Grunts and groans]
- There's the monster who's behind all this.
- You're still talking about timmy, aren't you?
- Duh. Ooh, sandwich bozos!
- Thank goodness you guys are okay.
Now, I wish I had never interfered
With megan's life
And everything was back to normal.
My wish worked!
Megan's lair turned back into the cake 'n bacon.
- Oh, no. Timmy, she's back.
- Welcome to the cake 'n bacon.
We have two specials today: cake and bacon
And bacon and cake.
- I'll have cake and bacon. - I'll have cake and bacon.
- I'll also have cake and bacon.
- I'll have the veal. - We don't have that.
- Oh, no.
Timmy must've screwed up the past.
To the earl of veal!
- Cake and bacon for everyone.
- Well, timmy, I hope you learned your lesson.
Oh, why do I even bother saying that anymore?
- I'm sorry, wanda.
I guess I really messed up your anniversary.
- Oh, don't beat yourself up, timmy.
The point is, everything is back to normal.
- I just have one question.
When sparky brought erg, ben, and the earl
Back from the past,
Wouldn't that mess something up?
- Honey, I'm gonna play with my world
Of tiny people now.
I'm gonna go drop this building on tiny dinkleberg.
[Laughs]
♪ That no one understands
♪ Mom and dad and vicky always giving him commands ♪
- Bed, twerp!
- ♪ The doom and gloom up in his room ♪
♪ Is broken instantly
♪ By his magic little fish who grant his every wish ♪
♪ 'Cause in reality
♪ They are his oddparents
♪ Fairly oddparents
- Wands and wings.
- Float-y crown-y things.
- ♪ Oddparents, fairly oddparents ♪
♪ Really mod, pea pod, buff bod, hot rod ♪
- Obtuse, rubber goose, green moose, guava juice,
Giant snake, birthday cake, large fries, chocolate shake!
- ♪ Oddparents, fairly oddparents ♪
♪ It flips your lid when you are the kid ♪
♪ With fairly oddparents
- Yeah, right.
All: surprise!
- Ah! - Oh, it is just turner.
- What are you all doing in my room?
- We are here for cosmo and wanda's surprise party.
It is their ,-year anniversary
Of being fairy godparents.
Don't tell me you forgot. - Of course I didn't forget.
I got them this, uh, math homework.
- This party stinks. Where are the pony rides?
The bouncy house?
The dance floor that opens into a pit of acid?
Well, at least the dog brought a dip bowl.
- It's not a dip bowl.
Timmy's dad is making me wear a cone
Until I stop chewing the furniture
And the brake lines in his car.
- I can't stop!
I stopped!
- Guys, please don't tell cosmo and wanda
I forgot their anniversary.
All: surprise!
Timmy forgot your anniversary!
- Aw, you shouldn't have,
And by that, I mean,
Timmy, you shouldn't have forgotten.
- He didn't, wanda. Look!
He got us math homework and a dog lamp.
- That does it.
- Happy anniversary, you crazy kids.
Sorry I can't stay.
- Is there a medical emergency, dr. Rip studwell?
- No, I was invited to a better party than this,
But I did get you a little something.
- It's a bill! He charged us for his visit.
- Uh-oh, our insurance
Doesn't cover anniversary parties.
[Yelps]
- The dumbbell for the dumbbell was my gift.
And now that cosmo's out of the picture,
Let us run away together, my little hot tamale.
- It's my anniversary, you pig.
- I got you guys something too.
- Oh, look, cosmo.
It's a photo album of all our old fairy godkids.
- The good ones,
Who would have remembered your anniversary.
- Hey, guys, I have an idea.
Why don't we go visit some of the fairy godkids
From your past?
It'll be the perfect way to celebrate your anniversary.
- Timmy, that's so sweet. - Yeah, whatever.
I'm just looking for a way to ditch this lame party.
- You and me both, brother.
Come on, everyone. Let's go crash studwell's party.
I hear there's gonna be some rowdy nurses there.
All: ooh, rowdy nurses!
- Timmy, visiting our old godkids
Is a great way to celebrate.
Who should we start with?
- Oh, we're actually gonna do that.
Now that everybody's gone,
I was just gonna play video games,
Maybe take a nap, watch some mindless tv.
- Let's start with our very first fairy godkid,
Erg, the cave boy.
Time to poof back to , b.c.
- I hope "b.c." Stands for "before cats."
- There he is, erg wheel.
He's working on the invention that'll change the world,
The erg!
- He invented the wheel, cosmo.
- Well, who the heck invented the erg?
Look, wanda, it's prehistoric us.
I'm not wearing any underwear.
- See you later, erg.
We're going bowling with fred and wilma.
- [Grunting]
- Watch your mouth, erg. There are ladies present.
- This is awesome. Let's go meet erg.
- Not so fast, timmy.
You can't interfere with the past.
If you change anything here, it could alter the future.
- Squirrel-asaurus!
[Laughs]
- No, sparky!
If you eat that squirrel,
There could be a future without squirrels.
- What do we care, wanda? They're just fluffy rats.
Go get him, sparky!
[Dinosaur growls]
Oh, no. The fluffy rat's angry mother.
[Screams] - cosmo, come back.
- [Grunts]
- Hey, erg, I'm not supposed to talk to you
Because it could totally ruin the future,
But do you want to play a video game from the future?
It's got awesome -d flesh-eating zombies.
- Huh?
[Grunts]
[Grunts]
- Again, that might be a little advanced for you.
- [Laughing]
[Dinosaur roaring]
- [Screams]
Well, I don't think I changed the future,
But I am gonna have to change my pants.
- Sparky, spit it out.
- Well, guys, it was great meeting erg,
Who I did not introduce to future things.
Now, let's move on to another godkid
So we can get home
Before my favorite mindless tv show.
Move, move, move!
- Cosmo, remember him? The earl of sandwich.
- You bet I do.
He invented the earl, whatever that is.
He invented the sandwich.
All right, everyone, before we go,
Make sure we don't leave anything from the future behind.
Timmy, didn't you have a video game?
[Game device beeps tune]
- What? No, what?
I didn't do it!
- Aw, there he is, cosmo, the earl of sandwich
Right before he invented the sandwich.
- Looking at those shirt stains, it might have been better
If he invented the moist towelette.
- It's th century us.
Look at me wearing a powdered wig.
- What's on your head, cosmo? - A powdered donut.
Both stylish and delicious.
- Hey, earl.
We're gonna go visit the earl of nachos.
Apparently he invented something pretty awesome.
I don't know what it is,
But the earl of movie theaters is dying to get his hands on it.
- Let's see.
Roast beef, lettuce, bread.
If only there were a way to jam them all together
And shove them in my mouth at the same time.
- I don't think this earl guy
Is gonna share his roast beef,
So I'm going for those nachos.
- Come on, cosmo, we better go get sparky.
The fate of nachos is in our hands.
- That's a lot of pressure and a lot of squirty cheese.
- Eureka!
I can use these two pieces of bread
As a convenient carrying case.
- Kid from the future coming through.
Don't interact with me. Hey-ho!
Is that peppered ham?
- Oh, dear, you've made me spill my flagon of ox milk.
Look, the bread is soaking up the spill.
Gracious me, I invented the spill soaker upper.
- It's called a sponge, dude. - I invented the sponge dude!
- I'm going to be famous!
- We're back, timmy.
We stopped sparky from eating the nachos
And introduced him to the earl of kibble,
So everything is okay.
- Mmm, I'd love a corn beef on rye.
Where's the earl of sandwich? - What?
No, what? I didn't do it!
Uh, why don't we go see another fairy godkid?
Move, move, move!
Ooh, ben franklin.
How about we visit him? - Good idea.
I think I owe little benny an apology.
Last time I saw him,
I told him to go fly a kite.
[Dramatic music]
♪
Holy cow, he's still flying a kite.
It was just an expression.
Oh, no, I just remembered
I told little amelia earhart to get lost!
- Benny, we're going inside.
It's pouring rain out here. - What do you mean?
You're the one who told me to fly a kite.
- If I told you to jump in a lake,
Would you?
Oh, no! - What?
Cosmo, you didn't tell one of our other godkids
To jump in a lake, did you?
- No, I just remembered I left my bowling ball
At fred and wilma's.
[Lightning zaps]
- Ha, ha, the lightning missed me.
[Shouts and screams]
Well, at least water doesn't conduct electricity.
[Screams]
- Oh, no, sparky. We got to go save him.
Do you have a colonial squirrel in your mouth?
[Squirrel gibbers]
[Dramatic music]
- Oh, no, ben! Watch out for the lightning!
[Screams]
- I say, why did you forcibly throw me to the ground?
- Uh, wasn't me. It was, um, the wind.
- Well, mysterious stranger,
You've made me realize
Lightning is a dangerous source of energy,
So I'm gonna figure out how to power things
With something else.
A potato, maybe.
- Wait, no! Electricity's not bad.
I mean, I'm the wind.
- What happened to benny? - Who knows?
I mean, stop blaming me for things.
Who's the next kid?
- Oh, that's megan bacon.
- [Screams] not megan bacon.
- What's so bad about her? - Nothing now.
But when she was a kid, she was the--
Oh, what's the word? Oh, yeah--
Embodiment of evil.
- She wasn't that bad, cosmo.
You know, timmy,
She went on to open the cake 'n bacon.
- That's my favorite restaurant. I want to meet her!
- Timmy, you can't interact with her, remember?
- Of course not. I'm the wind.
Let's go!
Hey, where's the old version of you guys?
- We were hiding in the closet,
Which I'm gonna go do now.
She's terrifying, timmy. Come on, sparky!
- Will you two morons get back here?
- Hey, who are you? - Me?
Oh, I'm, uh, the mailman.
I just came in your room to tell you
There's no mail today.
You know, someone told me you were terrifying,
But you look harmless.
- I'm sweet as pie.
[Laughs maniacally]
I'm just miserable
'Cause my fairies are making me do my homework.
They never let me play. - Really?
That's crazy.
Kids shouldn't be oppressed by homework,
Chores, and responsibilities.
You should do whatever you want to do.
- Great idea, mr. Mailman.
Let's play super villain and victim.
I'll be the diabolical caped bacon,
And you'll be the loser I annihilate
With my bacon blaster.
- Okay. Wait, what?
- Feel the burn!
[g*n zaps]
- [Screaming]
Hot bacon!
You're the embodiment of evil!
- This is way more fun than homework.
My reign of terror begins.
- Is the little demon gone? - Nah, he's still here.
How's it hanging, timmy?
- Sport, you didn't interact with megan, did you?
- Me? No, what? Megan, what, who?
Why don't we forget the whole silly time traveling?
Let's go celebrate your anniversary at the cake 'n bacon
With your best fairy godkid ever.
- We can't, timmy.
Little mahatma gandhi didn't eat bacon.
- No, me. I'm the best fairy godkid.
- [Laughing] oh, good one.
- Hey, wait a minute. What happened to dimmsdale?
Oh, no, I totally messed up the future.
I'm the worst fairy godkid ever!
- If your dad was here, he'd totally put a cone on you.
- Sparky, dimmsdale gone crazy!
What have I done to the world?
[expl*si*n]
- That is my cue to berate you, turner.
Because of your meddling,
Little erg the cave boy never invented the wheel!
- So that's why all the cars have weird tires.
- Ee--driving, ow-- hurts, ow!
- And ben franklin never discovered electricity.
- Which explains why dimmsdale is powered by a giant potato.
- And, perhaps worst of all,
The earl of sandwich never invented the sandwich,
Which is why I'm eating a fistful of lunch meat
And squirting mustard into my mouth.
[Groans]
I wanted deli mustard, not dijon!
You didn't mess with the kid who invented with deli mustard.
Did you? - Relax, jorgen.
I'll just get my fairies to un-wish the whole mess.
Cosmo, wanda?
- Don't waste your breath, turner.
Because they failed
To prevent you from ruining the past,
They have been fired as fairy godparents.
- Fired? Where are they?
- Well, cosmo got a big job in advertising.
[Choral music]
- / Off on cell phones!
[Shouts]
- What's a matter you?
I'm paying you to advertise my restaurant.
The sign--she clearly says "pete's pizza."
- I can't read the sign. It keeps spinning.
- You're fired!
- Yay! I hated this job.
Now I can live out my dream of working on my tan
And sipping lemonade.
- And wanda got a job at the fairy world library,
Though I have a feeling that won't last long.
- [Hushed] excuse me.
I'd like to check this book out.
- [Shouting] do you have your library card?
All: shh! - Use your inside voice.
- This is my inside voice!
- Oh, no, how am I gonna fix this without my fairies?
Sparky, you got any ideas?
Oh! I've lost sparky too!
- Nah, I just went back in time to get more bacon.
- Wait a minute, if you can travel back in time,
That means we can fix everything I messed up.
- Well, hurry up.
I have to figure out what to do
With this handful of tuna salad.
[Game device beeping tune]
- Erg, game bad.
Wheel good.
- You know I can speak, right?
I totally just beat your high score.
- What? No way.
Two-player mode, you and me, right now.
I mean, just finish the wheel!
- [Grunting]
- Okay, first problem fixed.
- Never say "fixed" in front of a dog, timmy.
- Just poof us to the earl of sandwich.
- This is perfect.
I can use the rye bread to mop up this gravy
And the pumpernickel for the really tough spills.
- Okay, just stop it!
You're supposed to use the bread to hold the food together,
Like this!
Where's the roast beef?
- [Muffled] I don't know.
- Spit it out, sparky.
The fate of the world is at stake.
- This is fantastic! I'll call it the sports bra.
- Just call it "the sandwich," bozo.
- [Gasps] the sandwich bozo.
That has a nice ring to it.
Thank you, weird kid with a feminine hat.
- Come on, sparky.
Let's go push ben franklin into a bolt of lightning.
Hey, ben, time to go back outside
And discover electricity.
- But potatoes are the power source of the future
And the perfect side dish for sandwich bozos.
Maybe someday I'll use a giant potato
To power a whole town, kind of.
- Sounds like this dude's already been hit by lightning.
- Just go.
- [Screams]
- Are you alive? - Just barely.
- Good enough. Our work here is done.
Yeah! We did it.
Dimmsdale's back to normal.
But why aren't cosmo and wanda back?
There must be something I still haven't fixed.
- Please stop saying "fixed."
- Timmy turner, we meet again.
- Megan bacon? Is that you?
- That's right, timmy,
And because you encouraged me to be myself,
I never opened the cake 'n bacon.
Instead, I lived out my dream of being an evil super villain,
The caped bacon!
- Okay, sister.
It was cute when you were ten,
But an adult bacon-themed villain
Is super lame.
- Really?
Let's see if you think this is lame.
Grease release!
- Whoa!
- Wow, I don't know whether to be terrified
Or lick the highway.
- Sparky, we got to go back in time
And stop her from being herself,
'Cause herself stinks.
- You got it, timmy. - Not so fast.
Your fairy dog can't help you.
In fact, no one can stop me from fulfilling
My high-cholesterol evil plan.
[Laughing]
- Hang on, sparky! I'll save you!
- Take your time, dude. She's got a lot of bacon.
[Screams]
- This is terrible.
I got to figure out what she's up to
And rescue sparky,
But where did she take him?
And I have my answer.
- Hey, nut job, I got to watch my cholesterol.
You got an turkey bacon?
- Turkey bacon's not real bacon!
- I got to stop her. Oh, I know.
I'll just wait until her diet kills her.
- Soon my giant frying pan will cook fairy world,
And I'll destroy cosmo and wanda for trying to stop me
From becoming the evil super villain
I was meant to be.
[Cackles]
- Not so fast, megan bacon.
Whoa!
[Grunts]
- Nice try, timmy,
But I've coated the floors with bacon grease.
- Why?
- It's part of my bacon-themed villainy.
- Cosmo and wanda were only trying to help.
They just wanted you to use your love
Of delicious comfort foods for good instead of evil.
Anyway, my magic dog and I are gonna stop you right now.
Get her, boy!
Ladies and gentlemen, my loyal dog, sparky.
[Screams and grunts]
- Ha!
I've trapped you with my ba-constraints.
- Wow, this stuff is thick.
- It's canadian bacon.
In two minutes, fairy world will be completely fried.
Then I'll place it on a giant paper towel
To absorb all the grease!
[Laughs]
And now, to boil you alive in molten lava.
- Okay, how's that bacon-themed?
- I ran out of bacon ideas. Sue me.
[Dramatic music]
- [Screams]
- I got you, timmy,
And I brought reinforcements too.
All: heroes of history, unite!
- Seriously?
I'll smash you all into bacon bits.
Ooh, that's good.
I should use that one instead of the lava thing.
Anyway, you're too late. Fairy world is doomed.
- Hurry, guys.
We only have a minute to save cosmo and wanda.
- [Shouts] ow, my foot!
You hairy little jerk.
- Electricity powers, activate!
- I'm blinded intermittently!
[Screams]
- Good work, guys.
You're, um, a force to be reckoned with.
Now it's time to shut down that frying pan.
- Think again. You're all history.
- Technically, only three of us are from history.
- Shut up, ben franklin.
Fairy world is about to go on my sizzle reel.
Ha, I am k*lling it with the bacon puns.
♪
- Is it me, or is it getting hot in here?
All: shh!
- I've finally fulfilled my lifelong dream
Of sitting on a street corner, sipping lemonade.
[Fairies screaming]
- Cosmo, fairy world's burning up.
We got to poof ourselves out of here.
- Can't you see I'm working?
- We cannot escape!
The evil megan bacon has put a butterfly net
Over fairy world!
- That fairy godkid has been nothing but trouble.
- Yeah, megan always was a bad seed.
- I was talking about timmy. Who's megan?
- Guys, we got to get to that control panel.
But how?
- [Laughs triumphantly]
I've got three letters for you, megan bacon.
B-l-t.
[Buzzer blares]
- We did it! Fairy world is saved.
- And we all got blts!
- Why, you little...
Ah, bacon grease!
[Grunts and groans]
- There's the monster who's behind all this.
- You're still talking about timmy, aren't you?
- Duh. Ooh, sandwich bozos!
- Thank goodness you guys are okay.
Now, I wish I had never interfered
With megan's life
And everything was back to normal.
My wish worked!
Megan's lair turned back into the cake 'n bacon.
- Oh, no. Timmy, she's back.
- Welcome to the cake 'n bacon.
We have two specials today: cake and bacon
And bacon and cake.
- I'll have cake and bacon. - I'll have cake and bacon.
- I'll also have cake and bacon.
- I'll have the veal. - We don't have that.
- Oh, no.
Timmy must've screwed up the past.
To the earl of veal!
- Cake and bacon for everyone.
- Well, timmy, I hope you learned your lesson.
Oh, why do I even bother saying that anymore?
- I'm sorry, wanda.
I guess I really messed up your anniversary.
- Oh, don't beat yourself up, timmy.
The point is, everything is back to normal.
- I just have one question.
When sparky brought erg, ben, and the earl
Back from the past,
Wouldn't that mess something up?
- Honey, I'm gonna play with my world
Of tiny people now.
I'm gonna go drop this building on tiny dinkleberg.
[Laughs]