05x16 - The Good Old Days!/Future Lost

[bunniefuu]

♪ Timmy is an average kid

♪ That no one understands

♪ Mom and dad and vicky

♪ Always giving him commands

Bed, twerp!

♪ The doom and gloom up in his room ♪

♪ Is broken instantly

♪ By his magic little fish who grant his every wish ♪

♪ 'Cause in reality

♪ They are his oddparents

♪ Fairly oddparents

♪ Wands and wigs

♪ Floaty crowny things

♪ Oddparents, fairly oddparents ♪

♪ Really mod, pea pod, buff bod, hot rod ♪

♪ Obtuse, rubber goose, green moose, guava juice ♪

♪ Giant snake, birthday cake, large fries, chocolate shake ♪

♪ Oddparents, fairly oddparents ♪

♪ It flips your lid when you are the kid ♪

♪ With fairly oddparents

Yeah, right.


Dad: oh, timmy!

Oooh! You're never going to believe this, but--

You're going somewhere stupid

And leaving me here with vicky.

Wrong!

We're going somewhere stupid

And leaving you here with my dad!

Ooh, I don't like the way things are now

Compared with how they used to be!

You remember pappy, don't you timmy?

Dad: bye, pappy!

We're going somewhere stupid!

Don't let timmy suck on that pacifier too long

Or he'll get huge, horrible buck teeth!

Bye!

Eh, why does she talk to me

Like I'm some forgetful ol'--eh, where am i?

This isn't my house!

Yes, I remember pappy!

Here's pizza money. Have a good time!

Bye!

So...uh...

I liked you better before,

When ya didn't have those buck teeth!

Wow! Tough break

Getting stuck with the old grouch, timmy!

Underwear not on head...

Face not in toilet, weasels not chewing up my ankles...

This is already better than vicky!

And if I can get him to like me,

He'll always want to baby-sit,

And I'll be rid of vicky forever!

All you have to do to win pappy over

Is find something you both have in common.

Hmmm.

I'll start with the easy stuff...like candy!

Oooh, timmy! Try hard candy!

Old people love hard candy!

Pappy: mega pucker puss sour-b*mb, eh?

What the--? Cents?!

In my day, cents would get you pounds of candy!

Oh, come on, pappy. They're awesome!

But be careful. They're a little--

Sour!

Candy was better before

When it didn't make your face implode!

Timmy: ok. Candy's out,

But everybody loves music!

Hey, pappy!

Eh?

Wanna listen to my new chip skylark cd with me?

Chip skylark! Limburger cheese!

The real chip skylark was around in my day!

This is his grandson, chip skylark the third!

You've been flimflammed by the banana oil salesman!

Wait!

Everybody loves him!

Ahh! Christmas... Crackers!

Good thing his adult diaper

Absorbed the impact!

Maybe we should try pizza?

Ahhhhh!

Timmy: how 'bout roller skates?

Video games?

Ahhhh!

Comic books?

Trading cards? Bubble gum?

Ice cream? Soda pop?

I can't believe nothing worked!

All right, you salty old crab!

You win! I'm going to go watch cartoons!

Eh? What's that?

Cartoons, you say?

You wouldn't like 'em. They're new!

♪ Captain green and the eco-teens ♪

♪ Picking up trash and recycling things! ♪

♪ Doing our chores hugging a tree ♪

♪ Solving problems non-violently! ♪

What the--?!

Look!

Just 'cause it's new doesn't mean it's lame!

Let's save the rainforest!

With an eco rap!

Ok, that's lame!

♪ Ra-ra-rainforest!

♪ I said, ra-ra--

Pappy: here's what you should be watching--old cartoons!

"Poke eye the longshoreman?"

Yeah! He's a marble-mouthed ruffian

Who solves problems with his fists!

Why is he eating beets?

So he can beat the jiminy crickets

Out of that villain!

Gets a taste of me sucker punch, ya big palooka!

The generation that grew up on these

Started wars, police actions,

And the national hockey league!

Oh, my gosh!

That was the most graphic display of gratuitous

Yet non-imitatable v*olence I've ever seen! Sweet!

And they get even better!

Noooo!

Yup, those cartoons were great...

But now that your fancy glowin' picture box has exploded,

There's no way to enjoy them.

Don't be so sure!

I'm on it!

Wow! I'm in an old cartoon!

I was just going to wish for a new tv!

Cosmo: yeah! Why just wish for a new tv

When you've got--

Pappy: talking animals!!

Hoo wee!

I don't know what kinda new-fangled hoo-ha you used to make all this,

But it's the bees knees!

Everything talks! The sun!

Don't stare at me too long; you'll go blind!

Even those foxes' magic wands!

[Goofy laughing]

Come back! No one had a chance to say,

"What could possibly go wrong?" Yet!

You go with pappy. We'll catch up.

Come on, timmy! Shake a leg!

[Dinging]

Man, this is great!

Oh, don't be fooled by the jollity and mirth!

Old cartoons were a dangerous place!

Easily distracted young men

Were put in charge of hoisting pianos.

Safes, too.

And if you didn't pay attention,

You could easily wander into a construction site,

Inadvertently avoiding pile drivers,

Accidentally stepping onto an elevator...

Falling from dizzying heights,

Only to be saved by rising steel girders.

For reasons no one fully understands,

Old people and children seemed drawn to danger,

So we'll have to be extra careful!

Cosmo! We've gotta catch those wands!

Good evening mr. And mrs. America,

And all the ships at sea.

This is the very tall-- on the radio--chesta' ubetcha

Live from the stock exchange.

Sweet cod oil!

It's the greatest depression in stock market history!

We're busted!

Broke!

Ruined!

I'm famished.

What say we rustle up some grub?

Oh, yeah--mom and dad gave me dinner money.

Uh, pappy? If cents will get us pounds of candy,

What will bucks get us?

Ooh, I'll tell you what it'll get us, timmy!

The greatest night of our lives!

Sasparillas on the house!

[Cheering]

Ladies and gentlemen, presenting the sing along stylings

Of chippington skylark and his noah's arkestra!

Come on, timmy! Let's dance!

But I don't know how to dance.

Ah! Can ya wiggle your finger?

Yeah!

Then you know how to dance in an old cartoon!

C'mon!

Ahhh!

Do I even have to say it?

[Cheering]

We have to find those wands!

There they are!

Hee-hyuh!

On top of the dimmpire state building!

Quick! Up the fire escape!

And to those of you who said

The "skyscraper climbing animal emergency response team

Was a waste of money," I say nuts!

Skidoo! Wheee!

Say, timmy!

You better keep those samolians under your cap

Just in case something goes screwy.

Come on, pappy! What could possibly go wrong?

Peg-foot vicky?

Hey, soda jerk!

P-p-peg-foot vicky!

Who're the swells at the end of the bar?

I don't know.

They're spending money like there's no tomorrow!

There won't be if I have anything to say about it!

Let's go, money bags!

Come back, you cur!

Stay out of this, shrimpy!

You'll live longer!

Ha ha ha! Help, timmy!

Help!

Without cosmo and wanda to help,

I'll have to rely on my wits to save pappy.

Oh, man, pappy's in trouble!

[Dinging]

I'll never yell you where the money is!

Tell me! Or I'll tie you to the railroad tracks!

Beat it, sister!

We're working this side of the street!

Grr!

Then I'll saw you in half at the saw mill!

Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

No wonder this place wasn't taken!

Unhand pappy, you viper!

Or face the fury of my wits!

Oof!

Aahh!

The money! Ha ha!

This kind of thing never happens to the eco-teens!

Ah! Why did I let you talk me into this?

Just grab those wands! We have to find timmy!

Hee hyuh hyuh!

Ah...ah...got 'em!

Tally ho!

Yeah!

Ahh!

Hee hyuh heh hya heh!

Yay!

Ah!

So long, sappy!

And thanks for the dough!

Cosmo! Wanda! I wish--

Pappy was free?

Vicky was vanquished?

For a bag of nutritious beets!

Whew!

Timmy! That was a tight spot!

Thanks!

No problem!

And now to take care of vicky!

Wait! You can't hit girls in old cartoons!

Oh, good point.

I wish vicky was a boy!

Ah!

Good thing I'm wearing gloves.

Now you gets a taste of me hurricane hook!

Ahhh!

The sun! I'm blind!

I warned ya!

Hyuk! Hyuk!

I wish we were back in the real world!

Hee hyuh hyuh! You got it!

Boy howdy, that captain green sure can rap!

♪ Nutrition! Nu-nu-nutrition! ♪

Timmy! Pappy!

How was your evening?

Top shelf!

I'll come back any time you need me!

Awesome! No more vicky!

Timmy's the greatest!

He made everything like an old cartoon

With some new-fangled hoosie what's-it!

And there were foxes with magic wands,

A band that beat music out of animals,

And then I was kidnapped!

But timmy saved me... By eating vegetables!

Ok! Timmy?

Say goodbye to pappy...forever!

Well, timmy, looks like I won't

Be baby-sitting for a while.

So I guess there's only one thing left to do.

Wiggle our fingers?

You got it!

Well, sport, you didn't get rid of vicky,

But you did learn something very important.

Yeah! Just because something's really, really old

Doesn't mean it isn't cool.

That's exactly how I feel about wanda!

Awww!

Hey!

Arghhh!

What's wrong, timmy?

Besides the whole buck teeth,

Too short for your age thing?

Brain freeze...

Ate sloppy slush... Too fast!

Um...what is this "brain" you speak of?

Ahhh.... I got nothing.

Dad: oh, timmy!

Your scream of pain reminded me that I have a son--

Who can help me clean the attic.

Still nothing.

[Sniffing]

Ah, the attic!

So full of memories.

What's that stuff?

Hmm, some old love letters

I wrote to your mother years and years ago.

Which mean absolutely nothing now!

My car!

Oof! My back!

Sorry, dinkleberg!

Quick, timmy! More precious memories.

The heavier, the better!

Isn't this a little obvious?

Oh, quit being so high-strung!

Hey! What's this little thing

Sitting on mom's giant hope chest?

That? That's my tiny box of dreams!

Oops.

Sorry, dad.

Oh, don't worry about it, timmy.

My dreams were shattered years ago.

How many years ago?

How old are you?

[Snoring]

Book...book...book...

Here's something I thought I'd never say

About a book--cool!

"Stevie sparks and the comet pirates?"

Who's stevie sparks?

Ah! Who's stevie sparks?

The "'tween of tomorrow!"

Just your average kid who no one understands

Who lives in the mysterious future of the st century!

Mmm, I'd throw it at dinkleberg, but it's not heavy enough.

So you can have it, timmy!

Cool!

Uh-oh!

Wow! Look at all this cool stuff

We should have, but don't!

Rockets to the moon colony,

Picture phones,

And robots who do all the hard work for us!

[Yawning]

Ok, it's official.

I wish the whole world was futuristic and high-tech

Just like it is in this book.

But timmy, you only read the first chapter.

Don't you think...

Aah.

Wow. You actually bored him to sleep!

Now do me!

Cosmo, i...

[Snoring]

Ooh.

Chip: ♪ just like a christmas tree... ♪

Chip skylark?

Doing a concert just for me?

What? The autowaker ?

With atomic snooze power!

Sweet!

[Snoring]

Yesterday's future

That is the new today.

[Beeping, whirring]

And this collar prevents me from chewing on myself.

Curse you, collar!

Cool!

Breakfast, dear?

Good morning, timmy.

Good morning, son!

Minor turner unit, here are your waffles.

Food disks. Neat!

Orange juice, grape juice, apple juice.

I'll save those for later.

Well, I have to catch the : rocket to the moon.

Those lunar houses don't sell themselves, you know.

Actually, they do!

Ooh, but don't tell your mom.

Uh, dad, shouldn't you be heading to your work, too?

Ooh, I am at work, timmy.

My job is throwing things at our robot neighbors.

Salutations, neighbor unit.

Dinklebot...

It looks like somebody's school rocket is here.

You better run along now.

Bye, pop! I'm going to school now.

Waaaah!

Mark chang! Why aren't you disguised?

Chill out, turner.

The good people of the future

Are far more accepting of my gelatinous form,

And I am much beloved.

We love your gelatinous form, mark!

Sh-yah!

So how do you like futuristic dimmsdale, timmy?

It's great!

But why are you disguised as squirrels?

Get with it; robots are the big thing now!

You'll fit right in.

You got it, timmy!

I am the nag-a-tron !

And I am the cosmo slice!

Oh no, it's mr. Crocker, my...

Janitor?

Ahhh!

Yes, turner it's me!

The school janitor whom everyone mocks

Because he believes...

Robots are evil!

Mr. Crocker looks different.

So...physically fit!

Hey!

Yes, all the manual labor I do keeps me fit.

There's nobility in hard work, you know.

[Puking]

Now if you'll excuse me,

I have some puke to clean up.

Robots!

If crocker isn't teaching, who is?

Student units, please put on your learning helmets.

Begin learning.

Cease learning.

The school day has concluded.

[Cheering]

A -second school day? Sweet!

Which gives me plenty of time for this.

Ahh!

Robot: there is something I must communicate.

You complete my circuitry.

Cease communication.

You had me at "greetings."

Man! This is the life.

You said it!

These rockets are so much better than wings.

Ahhhh!

And these robots do take some of the pressure off me.

Hey! Maybe this future wish is a good thing.

I'm chet ubetcha saying this is a bad thing!

The robots are taking over!

Argh!

This is chet u-bot-cha saying the robots have taken over.

All hail our leader, the big brain.

From now on, you sweaty meat puppets serve us!

What?

Puny human unit.

We are the superior beings!

Prepare to get us a glass of milk.

And do our laundry.

Eeh!

Cosmo, wanda, I wish the world was back to normal.

We cannot comply.

We no longer serve you.

All: you serve us!

Now, get me some butter, punk!

Eeeh!

If I have to lube one more robot...

How could this wish have gone so wrong?

"Stevie sparks and the comet pirates

"In the time the nice robots turned evil

And enslaved the human race"?!

Wanda was right!

I should have read more than the first chapter.

Wait! That's it, I can skip to the last chapter

And the book will tell me how to get out of this.

"Stevie sparks, his dad, and jace jetpack

Fly to antarctica to confront the big brain."

What are you doing here?

I am keeping you under surveillance.

And serving continental breakfast.

Munch munch munch. Chew chew chew.

Swallow. But not to you!

There's no way I could defeat the big brain

Like stevie sparks does!

I don't have a rocket ship

Or a macho robot- fighting sidekick.

Ha ha ha ha.

That is correct, big-toothed unit.

All you have is mark chang, his spaceship,

And of course the new and amazingly buff mr. Crocker.

Hey, that's a great idea!

Oh, man, you may be a robot,

But you're still the idiot I love!

Sweaty meat puppet, you shall not pass!

Nothing could possibly...

Oof!

Turner, I just want to return these tools...

Into your head.

C'mon dad! We have a world to save!

And a continental breakfast to eat!

Mr. Crocker: excellent plan, turner.

They captured us!

If I was a teacher, I'd give you an f!

So, this is the best the meat puppets

Could send to defeat me?

A janitor and a boy who has clearly never paid a visit

To the dent-a-tron?

[Evil laughter]

Why are you doing this? Why?

Look at me! I'm a giant brain.

What else do I have to do all day

Except take over robot minds,

Plot to rule the world,

And suck on some brain nutrients?

That's it!

Mr. Crocker, I have a plan.

[Whispering]

If I were a teacher, I'd give that plan an a!

He's attacking the big brain.

Stop him!

Hey, big brain, have some juice!

Hey, crocker!

What do you think about all these robots?

Well, that's just a plain silly thing to ask.

Everyone knows I think robots are evil!

Ahh!

Yum. Delicious.

What do you call this concoction?

I call it brain freeze!

So good. So cold.

Ahhh!

I have no hands to rub my temples to make it stop.

Wait! I don't even have temples!

This is the worst day ever!

Argh! Brain freeze!

All hail timmy, the savior of the future!

Cosmo, wanda, quick! Before anything else goes wrong.

I don't want to be a 'tween of tomorrow anymore.

I want to go back to being a dumb kid of today!

I wish everything was back to normal!

I'm going to miss having bread in my head.

Timmy: glad that's over with.

Ah! Me, too.

I hated being a robot. I had no free will.

I was always being ordered around.

It was just like being married all over again!

But with more toast.

Timmy, I hope you learned a lesson from this.

Yep! Never read a book ever again!

Dinkleberg: ow! Whoa!

A "stevie sparks" number one!

This is worth millions!

How about "technology can be good or bad

Depending on how you use it"?

Or, uh, "don't judge a book by its cover"?

Or even, uh, "reality is not always stranger than fic--"

[Snoring]

Well, only one thing left to do.

Sit up straight. Eat your vegetables.

Wash behind your ears. Do your home--

[Snoring]

Toast!