04x13 - A New Squid in Town!/Wish Fixers

[bunniefuu]

♪ Timmy is an average kid

♪ That no one understands

♪ Mom and dad and vicky always giving him commands ♪

Bed, twerp!

♪ The doom and gloom up in his room ♪

♪ Is broken instantly

♪ By his magic little fish who grant his every wish ♪

♪ Because in reality

♪ They are his oddparents

♪Rly oddparents

Wands and wings!

Floaty, crowny things!

♪ Oddparents, fairly oddparents ♪

♪ Really mod, pea p buff bod, hot rod ♪

♪ Obtuse rubber goose ♪

♪ Green moose, guava juice ♪

♪ Giant snake, birthday cake ♪

♪ Large fries, chocolate shake! ♪

♪ Oddparents, fairly oddparents ♪

♪ It flips your lid when you are the kid ♪

♪ With fairly oddparents!

Vicky: yeah, right.

Our little boy is finally beinged forcibly wed

To a warrior princess from the planet bodacia.

Ohh! I'm so happy!

Aah!

There, there, my queen.

I, too, am excited.

[Door opens]

I just wish mark's new bride

Wasn't so hideous to look at.

Good thing we brought barf bags!

It is now time to forcibly bond

The bodacian princess mandie

[Whoosh]

Um, has anybody seen the prince?

Aah!

Way uncool!

I will, like, totally not do this.

[Beep beep]

Later, dudes!

Oh. I--i'm sure he's just flying off at light speed

To, um, get some sodas.

Or not marry you.

I'm sure everything will be just fine,

And nobody leaves me at the altar!

Nobody!

Hmm. v*olence.

Earth, which I will someday rule.

Now please turn to page

In your "crocker takes over the world" book.

Ohh. This is gonna be the most boring day of class ever.

Ugh! Ugh! Ugh! Ugh!

Turner!

Chocolate-eating warrior

Of the planet earth! Hide me!

[Screaming]

I wish every human in this room would freeze.

Incredible! An actual alie--

Dude, what's the matter with you?

You're an alien!

You can't just bust into my classroom like this.

It took me tries.

Ohh!

Dude, you got to hide me

Before she finds me.

I cannot let her, like, find me!

Hide you from who? Principal waxelplax?

No. It's some girl my parents want me to marry.

Please let me stay here on earth with you.

I can blend right in.

Dig it!

Look. I am a normal earth child.

Do not be fooled by the extra tentacles.

Wanda: you're not fooling anybody.

Only a complete moron would believe that silly disguise.

Hey, timmy, who's the new normal earth child?

He, like, totally blends in.

All right, all right. You can stay for a while,

But you got to make yourself look more human.

Don't you have some sort of weird alien device

That will let you do that?

Oh, right! Duh!

I'm, like, so totally wearing one. Ha ha!

Radical!

Cool. Now all we got to do is hide him

Until we figure out what to do with him.

You want us to unfreeze everybody?

Not just yet.

Horrible holes.

Aliens! Aliens from outer space!

Uh, I mean, have you lost weight?

Crocker!

[Clang]

Man, this stuff is horrid.

Luckily, they serve it by the buckets here. Yah!

Du, if you're gonna blend in,

Wait. Government food.

Ohh! Is there no end to your delicacies?

Man, this stuff is awesome!

Good thing they serve it by the buckets here.

This feels like a bad idea, timmy.

You should send mark back home.

I can't send him back to his home planet to be k*lled.

Or wor--marrd!

He trusts me, and he totally blends in.

Mark: cool! It's brown.

It must be gross!

Aah! The dreaded chocolate!

It has shorted out my image fakefier.

[Kids scream]

Wow. Is it time for him to leave already?

Aah! Aah! Aah!

You, prepare to accept wedded bliss

Or eat hot plasma!

Aah!

My untimely death

Has, like, untimely come.

Alien!

I wish everyone would freeze!

Aw, man, I can't let him get wasted like that.

Or get married!

We should poof him someplace else

And unfreeze everybody.

Not everybody.

[Snoring]

Now.

Alien!

Aah!

Aah!

[Grr]

Ugh!

Mark: ha ha! I cannot believe

You found me some property

In theest neighborhood in dimmsdale.

What a hot crib!

Yeah. I thought you'd dig it.

Mandie will never find me here.

I don't get it. If you're not married to her,

Why is she trying to k*ll you?

And why were you supposed to marry her in the first place?

Ok. I'm a prince, and she is a princess.

Were we to marry, our planets' alliance

Would be, like, the most fearsome in the universe

And, like, team up?

But I cannot marry her,

For I do not love her.

I mean, how could i?

She's hideous!

Say it!

"Wow. She sure is hideous.

"I sure would hate

Having to spend time with her."

Well, looks like you're all set.

Yeah, an sw you my gratitude,

I shall struggle through the thank you

That you earthlings call, ahem, a hug.

No. Seriously, dude, it's ok.

Oops. Even the slightest amount

Of earthly kindness shorts it out.

Good thing it's just us here.

Mandie: since you two are the most powerful,

I'm taking you out first.

Taking me out? Neat!

I mean, "I can't do that.

I am married."

Cosmo, do something.

I can't. I'm married.

Run!

Mark, come back and be mine!

Then die!

Aah!

What do we do? What do we do? What do we do?

She's too fast!

The only way to get her off my trail

Is to get her

To, like, marry someone else!

Someone else.

Good-bye, mother.

I'm off to hunt fairies disguised as aliens.

Hey, neat, a fairy hunting belt.

Thank you, santa!

[Beeping]

Now marry me

Orie!

Finally!

Aah!

Timmy: well, that solves both our problems for now,

But listen, dude. If you're gonna hide out here on earth,

U're gonna have to be a lot more inconspicuous

And cause a lot less trouble.

Huh! No problem, brah.

You won't even know I'm here.

[Bell ringing]

Hey. The new kid

Is, like, totally hogging all the action.

Do not attempt to kiss me.

Even the slightest of your earth affection

Is most lethal.

The more he rejects us, the dreamier he gets.

Ok, but if he eats out of my garbage can again,

He's going down!

Well, students, since mr. Crocker is out today,

I will be getting a chance to live out my new dream

Of being a substitute teacher,

And today, we're going to talk about arts.

Timmy, did you bring in a piece of art?

I call it "idiots in love."

Fantastic!

Can't you sense the love between these two?

Alien: can't you see the love between these two?

I'm so glad mark decided to get married

And not get his head cut off by mandie.

"As am i, my queen.

Marriage makes everything better."

I'm so happy!

[Grr]

[Snoring]

Crocker!

Uh, I guess this means

The honeymoon's off.

Unh! Ugh! Ohh! Aah! Unh! Ohh!

Mark: no problem, brah.

[Moo]

One set of concentrated turbo-running cheese pants

Coming up!

Thanks, cosmo!

This is the greatest dairy-based wish

I've made in the last minutes.

Uh-oh! My bad wish senses are tingling.

Oh, come on. You've been saying that all week.

Your bad wish sense isn't always right, you know.

Oh, it's not?

Aah! Aah!

I know how to get trixie to notice me.

I wish I had an electric personality.

Next time, I'll wish for rubber gloves!

Aah!

Please be ink.

All that means is timmy's due for a good wish.

Come on, cheeseboy squarepants,

Make us proud!

Aah!

You were saying?

Ahh. Mm. Look at me.

I'm a tasty nacho with third-degree burns!

Aah!

Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm.

Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm.

Mm?

Man, that's the fourth bad wish this week.

I wish I could break this streak.

Hey, puny little human child.

Are you on a bad wish streak?

Then call the wish fixers.

In just days,

They can turn your fire-breathing dragon wish

Into a kindly dragon wish

That respects children and breathes healthy sugar-free mints.

Yay! Yay! Yay!

What? I'm not going to some dumb wish fixer.

Aah! Then again, maybe I am.

Welcome to wish fixers.

It's h.p.,

The head pixie who tried to take over fairyworld once

But was thwarted by timmy...

Who is you!

Why are you shouting?

Oh. I just finished a memory mending course,

And I learned that speaking loudly

Helps you remember things.

I like pie!

Mm.

Don't worry. That crazy desire

For us pixies to control all magic

And take over fairyworld is behind us.

Really.

Now please sign this contract

So we can get this party started.

Uh-oh! Now my "I don't trust pixies" sense

Is tingling.

Perhaps my associate jorgen von strangle

Can convince you again.

Sign your names.

Do it, or I will use your bones as toothpicks!

Now, that was a convincing argument.

Besides, maybe my wishing could be a little better.

Now, the first step in our amazing one-step wish fixing program

Is don't make any more bad wishes for days,

And your bad wish streak will be broken.

Or else.or else what?

You'll find out.

Timmy: these amoebas are so small,

They're hard to count.

I wish they were bigger.

You've got it!

[Buzz]

Ouch! Ouch! Ouch!ouch! Ouch! Ouch!

Unwish the wish. Unwish the wish!

Ok. Ok. I wish the amoebas were small.

What the heck was that?

Every time you make a bad wish,

Cosmo and wanda will be painfully, painfully shocked,

And with each bad wish,

The painful, painful shocks will get worse.

What? That's totally unfair.

No. It's hilarious. Watch.

[Buzz buzz]

Aah! Aah!

Shocking, isn't it?

Oh. That's good. I've got to write that one down.

Luckily, my hat is also a pen.

You can't get away with this!

I'll just wish the collars were off.

But that would break the contract you signed,

And if you break the contract you signed,

We get to replace your fairies with pixies.

It's in the fine print. See?

Son of a g*n!

No problem! I can totally go days

Without making a bad wish.

[Pigs squealing]

[Buzz buzz]

Aah! Aah!

Oh. So you want a story, me pretty?

Here's one about the time

Me undead horde laid waste to dimmsdale.

Come on, boys! Their defenses

Have been weakened by pigs! Arr!

[Pirates yelling]

[Buzz buzz]

Aah! Aah!

[Meowing and barking]

[Buzz buzz]

Still wishing badly, I see.

[Buzz]

Cosmo, wanda, I'm sorry.

I'm not making any more wishes

Until the days are up.

But that would also violate the contract,

Which also means you get pixies

Instead of fairies.

It's in the fine print

Within the fine print.

Timmy: son of a g*n.

There it is!

Especially when you see

The last setting on their collar.

Cosmo: a sll and crossbones!

Timmy, no! I don't want to be a pirate

And lay waste to dimmsdale,

Which is where you live!

Here. I've made a list

Of approved, not bad wishes.

I suggest you follow it.

You want me to wish

Fairyworld was ruled by pixies?

It's either that wish or pirates.

It's your choice, turner.

Timmy: oh, man.

If I break the contract,

You get replaced by pixies,

And if I make a bad wish,

You guys get wasted

And replaced by pixies!

Well, that one where we don't get wasted

Sounds pretty good.

This stinks!

There's no way out!

Section , subparagraph a- ,

Breach of contract. What?

If timmy makes an irresponsible wish

That is at the same time responsible,

They can't shock us,

And the contract is null and void.

Blue is a color!

A responsible irresponsible wish, eh?

H.p., Do I have a wish for you.

Is it the wish where you wish

For fairyworld to be ruled by pixies?

If it's not, you've broken the contract,

And you get to say good-bye to cosmo and wanda.

Go me. Go me. It's my birthday.

Oh. Don't worry. I've got a wish, all right.

I wish cosmo and wanda were made of rubber!

Bad wish, turner.

Say good-bye to your fairies.

[Buzz buzz]

Gasp.

Guess again, pinhead.

They're rubber,

And rubber doesn't conduct electricity!

And since I didn't make the approved wish,

You have to let me out of the contract.

Because he made a responsible wish.

Which is also irresponsible. Watch!

Whee!

Drat. It seems as though I have been trapped

Within my own loophole.

We'll see what my associate jorgen

Has to say about this.

Loophole or not,

I am now going to turn your fairies into pixies,

Boring, dull, unfun

Pix--unh--pix-- unh--pix--ugh!

That's funny.

I don't remember jorgen being made of metal

Or having an extension cord sticking out of his butt.

Jorgen is not made of metal,

But he may have an extension cord

Sticking out of his butt!

I don't usually look back there!

You're right.

I wish the real jorgen von strangle was here.

Uh, timmy turner, you've interrupted my cooking class.

If my souffle falls,

I will bake you a mighty cake

Of death!

Hey!

Pay no attention to the pixie controlling the jorgen robot.

Everyone, you remember my evil henchman sanderson.

Sanderson, everyone.

Hello, everyone.

So you're not helping the pixies?

Huh? Pixies?

Why would I help these dull, pointy-headed wimps?

Ow! I mean, yay! We're not rubber!

Fairies are here to grant fun wishes

Of pain!

Oh. Wait. That is me.

Of course, they did break me of my bad wish habit.

Oh. Are you sure you don't have

One more bad wish in you?

Maybe.

Finally, something more boring than we are.

Oh, the single-celled irony.

Aah. Aah.

Nope. No cord.