03x19 - Chip Off the Old Chip/Snow Bound

[bunniefuu]

♪ Timmy is an average kid

♪ That no one understands

♪ Mom and dad and vicky

♪ Always giving him commands

Bed, twerp!

♪ The doom and gloom up in his room ♪

♪ Is broken instantly

♪ By his magic little fish who grant his every wish ♪

♪ Because in reality

♪ They are his oddparents, fairly oddparents ♪

Wands and wings!

Floaty, crowny things!

♪ Oddparents, fairly oddparents ♪

♪ Really mod, pea pod, buff bod, hot rod ♪

♪ Obtuse, rubber goose

♪ Green moose, guava juice ♪

♪ Giant snake, birthday cake ♪

♪ Large fries, chocolate shake! ♪

♪ Oddparents, fairly oddparents ♪

♪ It flips your lid when you are the kid ♪

♪ With fairly oddparents

Vicky: yeah, right.

[School bell rings]

Woman: students,

We've called this big assembly

To announce what this year's big musical production will be.

[Crickets chirping]

And now, with the big news,

Your drama teacher,

Mr. Bickles.

This year's musical will be one of my own design,

Based on what, in my humble opinion,

Is the greatest series of films ever made.

Ryan mccain, loose cannon cop, the musical!

What? That is the dumbest idea ever.

Not so fast.

Remember my edible wristwatch?

Wanda: it didn't keep time,

And it tasted horrible.

And that was my slogan.

Starting tomorrow,

One of you will have the chance

To audition for the lead part

Of ryan mccain.

I need to find the most musical, macho, multitalented young male

Who can fight, sing, and hold his own next to...

Not in a million years.

Our female lead, the fabulous trixie tang.

I got to practice my singing.

Has it been a million years already?

My watch must have stopped.

♪ Not on my watch

What the heck was that?

I don't know. I'm usually a pretty good singer.

But the idea of singing with trixie

Is making my voice stink.

What am I going to do?

Hmm. For the tough questions,

Television always has the answer. Here.

Use my radioactive remote.

You may lose your hair,

But you'll never lose the remote.

And that's my slogan.

Howdy hey. It's teeth tv.

I'm brad cuspidor with teen singing sensation

Chip skylark,

Who's singing the national anthem at bankee stadium.

Ooh, don't blow it.

With a voice like this, how can i?

♪ La

Wow! His voice is so pure and amazing,

It fixed what timmy broke.

You're right.

His voice is incredible,

And if I had it, I'd get to be

The musical, macho, multitalented young male

Holding his own next to trixie tang.

I wish I had chip skylark's voice!

♪ La

[In chip's voice] thanks, wanda.

Cool! It worked!

♪ La la la la

Where is he? Where is he?

We thought we heard chip skylark in here.

Both: oh, it's only you.

Why couldn't I have given birth to chip skylark?

Perfect. Come on.

I've got a musical to audition for.

Word, chip.

Good look at bankee stadium.

[In timmy's voice] thanks, brad.

What the heck?

Whaaat!

Mr. Bickles: this is terrible.

We've auditioned everyone in the entire school.

There's no one left.

My dream, ruined!

Ryan, forgive me!

[Sobbing]

I'm the star! My future is ruined.

[Both sobbing]

Not on my watch.

♪ La

Mr. Bickles,

I, timmy turner, want to be

Your singin,' dancin,' loose cannon cop.

I think we've found our star.

Thanks, mr. Bickles.

He said my name, with a dreamy voice.

[Gasp] aah!

Both: ♪ badge of love

Perfect.

Isn't it everything I said it would be?

And more, yo.

I can't wait to broadcast this live,

To introduce everyone to the new chip skylark.

The new chip skylark?

What happened to the old chip skylark?

Good question, yo.

And for all good questions,

We turn to tv for the answer.

It was chaos today at bankee stadium

When chip skylark blew it.

[Out of tune] ♪ and the home of the brave

[Booing]

You stink! Get off the field!

Anchorman: unfortunately for chip, it was bat day,

Heavy, wet sponge week, and the year of the brick.

Chip skylark has lost his voice,

And the voice he found stinks.

Oh, no!

Cosmo, wanda,

I didn't want chip to havemyhorrible voice.

I just wanted to have hisvoice

To get the part in the play

And not overshadow trixie.

Well, we had to put your horrible voice somewhere.

And chip's throat was the only one open at the time.

I can't let chip skylark's career t*nk

So that I can sing in a musical,

Even if it is with trixie tang.

I wish I had my voice back.

Oh, great. Now what?

It says here that all vocal wishes

Must be made in the voice of the child

That the godparents are assigned to.

Right. What do we do now?

All: television.

Everybody split up.

That's a great idea.

If one of you goes with chip,

And he uses my voice to say, "I wish I had my voice back,"

Then you'd have to grant the wish.

Aah!

Dibs on the dreamy teen singing sensation

With the horrible voice.

Oh! Nobody wants me now that my voice stinks.

I wish somebody would call and offer me a job.

Hey, he said, "I wish."

[Ringing]

Hello? You need a food delivery boy with a lousy voice?

That's me!

Oh, man.

If I go out there and sing,

Teeth tv will make me the new chip skylark,

And chip skylark will be stuck

Being the old timmy turner.

Poorly sung pizza delivery for timmy turner.

[Out of tune] ♪ la la la la laaaa...

Chip skylark?

♪ La

Wow. Great voice.

Reminds me of me, before I stunk.

Heh! Weird, huh?

Hey, are you going to stay for the show?

I wish I could.

[Ringing]

Hello? What? I'm fired? Awesome!

Now I can stay.

Well, timmy,

Now that's he's here,

What are you going to do?

Ask television.

I'd like to solve that puzzle.

Is itget chip skylark to say

"I wish I had timmy turner's voice"? [Buzz]

No, I'm sorry. It's that old song

Get chip skylark to say "I wish I had tommy turner's voice."

Oh, that's right.

Hey, I hear this turner kid is terrific.

Yeah, he's the new chip skylark.

Heh! Hey, aren't you chip skylark?

I was.

Hoo! So was i,

In this dream I had last night.

Oh, but I had a much better voice than you,

And peanut butter.

There was peanut butter everywhere.

Aah!

[Ticking]

Aah!

[All laughing]

Oh, ryan! I thought we were doomed.

Not on my watch.

And according to my watch,

It's time for the dimmsdale pledge of allegiance.

He's supposed to be singing.

Why aren't you singing?

We can't do a live tv broadcast

Without reciting the dimmsdale pledge of allegiance.

He's right, you know.

I pledge allegiance...

All: I pledge allegiance...

To the flag...

All: to the flag...

I wish I had timmy turner's voice.

I wish I had timmy turner's voice.

[Chewing] that's-a my cue!

♪ La

[In chip's voice] my voice! It's back!

[In timmy's voice] my voice! It stinks!

My dream! It's ruined!

My dream! It's coming true!

Want to help out up here?

You bet, but I'll need some peanut butter.

Gosh, timmy.

As much as I'd hate to instantly

Get my career back in front of millions of people,

Hit it!

[Lively music playing]

♪ When no one will listen ♪

♪ To what you want to say ♪

♪ You're too small, too young♪

♪ You haven't begun

♪ To learn the games that they play ♪

♪ Don't sit around just wishing ♪

♪ For it to be a better day

♪ Speak up, be heard, if you don't say a word ♪

♪ Everything will stay the same way ♪

♪ If you want to change the way your life's arranged ♪

♪ Then you have that choice

♪ To be the star that you know you are ♪

♪ Be loud, be proud

♪ And rejoice

♪ And find your voice

♪ Just find your voice

♪ You know you got that choice

♪ Now go find your voice

♪ You see a girl

♪ That you know you want to meet ♪

♪ Come on, stop messing around ♪

♪ Get up off your seat

♪ She might see inside of you

♪ The boy you never knew

♪ He was in there all the time ♪

♪ Now just let him through

♪ If you want to change the way your life's arranged ♪

♪ Then you have that choice

♪ Then you have that choice ♪

♪ To be the star that you know are ♪

♪ Be loud, be proud

♪ And rejoice

♪ Dude, find your voice

♪ Find your voice

♪ Just find your voice

♪ You know you got that choice ♪ got that choice

♪ Now go find your voice ♪ find your voice

♪ You have that choice

♪ Be a star

♪ What could it be now?

♪ Find your voice ♪ find your voice

♪ Just find your voice ♪ anybody seen it?

♪ Got that choice ♪ got that choice

♪ Now find your voice

♪ Come on and find your voice

♪ Find your voice

♪ Just find your voice

♪ Do-do-do-da-da

♪ Got that choice

♪ Gotta find your voice now ♪

♪ Find your voice

[All cheering]

Any chance you can forgive me

For having chip upstage you?

Not on my watch.

[All cheering]

You saw it here, folks.

The rise, then fall, then pizza delivery,

Then rise again of chip skylark!

Well, I lost the part,

Lost the girl, and lost my voice.

What else is there left to lose?

There's only one way to find out.

Hoo hoo! Word up, bradley.

I'd like to give some mad props to my son timmy.

This is for you, son.

[Out of tune] ♪ finding your voice

Boy, he sings worse than me.

And that's his slogan.

Dad: honey, are you sure you don't need me

To come to the ski resort?

Oh, absolutely not.

My sick aunt... Uh, denise

Insisted I come by myself

To the dimmsdale ski lodge and resort

For the entire weekend to take care of her.

Well, ok,

But if I catch just one whiff of trouble, I'm coming.

Oh, don't worry. Everything will be just fine.

He bought it!

Which means we're free to enjoy our "just moms" weekend.

All: hooray for our sick aunts!

[Laughing]

[Bones crack]

[All sigh]

Well, I suppose she won't get into any trouble.

Voice on tv: hey, snowboarders and ski buffs.

There's an abominable snowman loose

At the mount dimmsdale ski resort!

[Roaring]

Trouble? To the ski resort!

And we're going to the ski resort to see mom why?

Didn't you hear the tv?

There's an abominable snowman loose on mount dimmsdale.

But mom said not to come.

Timmy, women are complex and mysterious creatures.

You can't take what they say at face value.

Everybody knows when a woman says one thing,

They probably mean something else.

He's right, timmy.

Like when wanda tells me I'm an idiot,

She's really saying, "I love you."

You're a moron.

Me, too, with all my heart.

And vicky is here because?

Because I said I didn't want to go,

I didn't want to meet any hot ski hunks,

And I didn't want to get paid.

So, because she's a girl and means the opposite of what she says,

I brought her and paid her double to baby-sit.

Good thing I speak woman.

We're going to protect your mother this weekend

Whether she wants it or not.

I'm off to make the resort safe.

What do you kids want to do?

Well, I know I don't want to go snowboarding all day.

Then here's money for snowboarding.

I'll see you later.

Have a snow-tastic day.

[Whinnies]

[Gasp]

Abominable footprints!

Uhh!

[Gulp]

Time to catch some flakes, twerp.

Hey, I just realized.

You don't have a snowboard.

Uhh! Now I do!

Aaah!

Ooh, the footprints go in here.

I'm on to you, snowman.

[Laughter]

My wife is laughing.

She must be in danger!

Aha!

[Gasp] hey!

Honey...

I--i can explain.

No need.

Clearly you're so worried about your aunt,

You've filled this tub

With your hot, soothing tears.

Sure, let's go with that.

Well, I'm not going to let some abominable snowman

Interfere with your visit with your sick aunt.

By the way, where is she?

She's, uh, hiding.

Hiding from the abominable snowman,

Who I heard is on the th floor.

[Gasp] whatever you do,

Do not leave this hot tub.

Whew.

[All gasping]

Must...protect...wife

And sick aunt I've never heard of from...

Abominable snowman.

, , ?

Oh, my heavens!

He ate the whole th floor!

[Sobbing] no!

I can't believe this.

You are the absolute worst human being on earth.

Thank you.

Now, start shredding!

[Echo] shredding...

Shredding...

Shredding!

[Both screaming]

Oh...i'm alive?

I'm alive!

I may be stuck in a cave,

But that's not a problem

Because I have magical fairy god...sicles?

Oh, no! They're frozen!

Stop worrying about your stupid fish.

We'll be frozen, too, if somebody doesn't come to rescue us.

[Whimpering, teeth chattering]

This is all your f-f-fault!

How is it my fault?

You're the one that caused the avalanche!

You're the one that causes everything bad that happens to me!

Well, i-- [gasp]

Wow, it's so cold,

The heat of my fury has cooled.

You've been mean to me for years,

And you're finally getting what you deserve.

The only good thing about all of this

Is that if I go down,

At least you're going down with me!

[Sobbing]

[Wailing]

I'm sooo sorry!

Hey, I really wish you were unfrozen enough to see this.

I don't mean to be mean all the time.

I just am!

And now I'm going to perish,

Cold and alooone!

Oh, man. I can't believe I'm saying this.

We have to stay warm if we're going to stay alive,

And maybe we could share our body heat by--

Hugging?

You're so forgiving,

For a twerp!

Dad: and he's not on the roof.

Not outside.

Good heavens!

Yeti droppings!

He must be close.

Yaaah!

Vicky: and then, when I was ,

My mom said my turtle ran away,

But he didn't run away!

Turtles can't run!

Uh...

You hear something?

Just the sound of my own sadness.

[Thundering footsteps]

Hhhaaa...

Both: the abominable snowman!

Uhh!

Run!

What? Pizzas?

Shaaa...

Both: aah!

Get behind me.

Why? We hugged.

I'll hold him off with my wads of frozen cash.

Hey, a hole.

Timmy, since we're both bound to be eaten by this horrible monster,

I just want to say i--

Can't believe you deserted me!

Sun! Light! Warmth!

Come on, melt!

Melt!

We're unfrozen!

Unfrozen? Are we in the future?

No time to explain. Quick! Come on!

We've got to save vicky.

Save vicky?

Timmy would never say that.

What year is this, and what kind of twisted future are we in?

Get back!

Get back!

[Rumbling]

Hey, snowman!

Time to get frosty.

Twerp! I mean, timmy!

You came back for me.

Of course I did. We hugged.

Now...shred with me if you want to live.

I'm shredding like I've never shredded before!

Almost like magic!

Where'd you get these snowboards?

Internet.

Hhhaaa...

Aah!

He's right behind us!

Both: aah!

Avalanche, smavalanche.

I ordered pizza an hour ago.

Where is it?

Timmy? Vicky?

An abominable snowman?

No, it's theabdominalsnowman.

Abdominals pizza delivery,

Kept hot and fresh against my rock-hard abs.

I should have told you I wasn't a monster,

But I'd have exposed the pizza to the cold.

Get away from my wife, you well-abbed animal!

Hey, you're not abominable.

Duh. Haven't you seen my ad?

[Roaring]voice on tv: there is an abominable snowman

Loose on mount dimmsdale,

And he's got hot, fresh pizzas and a washboard stomach.

Uh, I can explain.

No need.

Clearly being surrounded by your friends and this steaming hot pizza

Is proof that your sick aunt, whom I've still never met,

Is cured and you're celebrating.

All: sure. Let's go with that.

Come, let us take our booties and shake them.

[Rock and roll music playing]

Man, what a day.

I know. You outshredded

The abominable snowman, sort of,

And you became friends with vicky.

Uhh!

Hey, what gives?

I thought we were friends now.

You didn't save me from a monster.

You saved me from a hot guy!

And I will never forgive you for that!

[Echo] for that...

For that!

Abominable snowman?

It's me--vicky.

Which means it's not you, vicky.

Aah!

Well, everything's back to the way it was in the present.

Vicky hates timmy, mom loves dad--

And you're still the most oblivious idiot

On the face of the earth.

Ok, but there's a child present.

[Kiss]aw, I love you.

What? What's the matter with you?

How could you say that? I thought you loved me.

What horrible future is this?

[Sobbing]

Abominable snowman: shaaa.

[Machine g*n fire]

Freder!