03x13 - Beddy Bye/The Grass is Greener

[bunniefuu]

♪ Timmy is an average kid ♪

♪ That no one understands ♪

♪ Mom and dad and vicky ♪

♪ Always giving him commands ♪

Bed, twerp!

♪ The doom and gloom up in his room ♪

♪ Is broken instantly

♪ By his magic little fish ♪

♪ Who grant his every wish ♪

♪ 'Cause in reality they are his ♪

♪ Oddparents, fairly oddparents ♪

Wands and wings!

Floaty, crowny things!

♪ Oddparents, fairly oddparents ♪

♪ Really mod, pea pod ♪

♪ Buff bod, hot rod

Obtuse, rubber goose,

Green moose, guava juice, giant snake,

Birthday cake, large fries, chocolate shake!

♪ Oddparents, fairly oddparents ♪

♪ It flips your lid when you are the kid with ♪

♪ Fairly oddparents

Yeah, right.

Hello, it's me! You know who I am?

The mattress king.

Have I got a deal for you!

Don't ask. It's quality mattresses at discount prices.

I'm nap-tastic!

Ooh! I can't stop buying mattresses from that guy!

It's almost like I'm under his spell!

[Giggling]

Tv announcer: now, stay tuned forup late in dimmsdale.

Ooh! Can I stay up? Can i? Can i?

You can't stay up past : .

Your small boy metabolism won't let you.

Wait till you get older and your body

Betrays you in other ways.

But youcanstay up if you can stay awake.

No problem!

I don't even feel sleepy!

[Beep]

[Snoring]

[Disco music plays]

Huh?

Darn it! I fell asleep!

Stupid small boy metabolism!

Tonight, I will not miss any late night excitement!

Tv announcer: the most amazing meteor shower

In history starts in minutes.

This is chet ubetcha saying, if you go to bed and miss it,

You might as well hang a sign around your neck

That reads "geek."

Yes! And I won't miss it,

Because it's not my bedtime yet!

Hey! That reminds me.

It's daylight-savings time.

We have to spring forward.

[Snoring]

[Disco music plays]

[Beep]

Oh, no!

I missed the meteor shower!

And it was cool!

Hey! That reminds me!

Have a good day at school, geek.

This reeks.

All this cool stuff is going on at night,

And I keep missing it, because I can't stay awake!

Everybody needs their sleep, sweetie.

It's what keeps me cheerful and accommodating.

Yeah. I need my beauty sleep.

It's what keeps me smart and pretty.

Oh, blah, blah, blah! Your needs!

I'm tired of sleeping!

I wish I didn't have to sleep!

[Wind gusting]

Delivery, which is normally extra,

I could throw in for, uh--hey! What gives?

The mattress king?

What'she doing here?

Losing a sale is what I'm doing.

Oy! You look like death warmed over twice!

Which would be death warmed over...warmed over.

Timmy, the mattress king

Isn'tjust the mattress king.

He's actually the sandman.

And he approves all sleep wishes.

It's pronounced "sandman."

Harvey sandman.

And I'm not only the mattress king.

I'm the master of sleep fu.

Hoo! Ha!

Aah! Oh!

[Snoring]

Neat!

Cool! Then you can let them make it

So I don't have to sleep!

What are you? Meshuga?

Everybody needs sleep,

And without my sleep-powered magic,

I couldn't do this.

Hoo! Ha! Hoo!

Funny!

[Snoring]

No sleep equals no sandman,

And no sandman equals no sleep,

And that's forever.

It's a vicious cycle.

Why would I grant you that wish?

There's nothing nap-tastic about that!

Because every minute you're talking to me,

You're losing a sale?

Oh! You're good! Very well.

Hey! Hey!

Grant the little nudge

Whatever sleep wishes he wants.

I must return to my mattresses.

Ha! Hoo! Ha!

Any sleep wish I want, huh?

Hey! Why should I be the only kid

Who gets to stay up past his bedtime?

I wish everybody didn't have to sleep!

"E" equals "m" "c" squared!

You're not a giant marshmallow.

Oh, well!

Mmm! So madly in love with my...wife!

[Sighing] so madly in love with my...garden!

Yay! Whaa!

[Beep]

Come on! Now that I'm wide awake,

It's time to do dimmsdale after dark!

Hey, look!

Timmy: what's so cool about

A street cleaner?

During the day, nothing.

But at night...

Wow! The late night world is amazing!

I want to see it all!

[Disco music plays]

If I'm right, we'll see why

The front lawn is wet every morning.

Uh, it's dew, isn't it?

That's what they wantyou to think.

[Sirens]

Go! Go! Go! Go!

Go! Go! Go! Go!

All: awesome!

[Telephone rings]

What do you mean you're cancelling your order?

[Phone rings]wait a second.

No more mattresses?

You mean, you don't need sleep anymore?

Wait a second. Hey! Hey!

I--i can't reach my knish!

Well, since nobody can sleep,

And we've been on the air for two weeks straight,

And we've run out of guests,

[Sighs] please welcome...

Timmy turner.

[Yawning]

It's great to be up, chuck!

And I'd like to introduce my new discovery:

The hottest and cleanest,

New, young comedian on the scene today,

Put your hands together for...

The street-cleaning robot!

[Monotone voice] thank you.

Airplane food--what's the deal with that?

[Crickets chirp]

I know you're out there.

My thermal sensors can detect your presence.

Can we please let people go to sleep now?

Why would I do that?

Aah! Hey! Hey!

I'm still pretty, right?

Uh...sure you are.

In fact, you're so handsome,

We're hiding your beauty from unworthy eyes.

Despite cosmo getting uglier by the second--

♪ Here I come

♪ Mr. Fairy universe ♪

This world without sleep is great!

This world without sleep isnotgreat!

I'm chet ubetcha saying,

After sleepless days,

People are confused--

Uh...did you say hike?

Careless...

And cranky.

It's a snake.

Live with it! [Crying]

[Horn honks]

This is chet ubetcha saying,

Why can't we sleep?!

This is worse than I thought!

Aah! Aah!

What?

It'sdefinitelyworse than I thought!

What's with the attitude?

Some people get a little cranky

When they don't get their sleep.

You want a piece of me, lead head?

Oh, yeah?

Bring it on, scary godmother!

Stop it, you two! Come on!

Maybe you should ask thepretty fairy to help you!

Wanda! Please!

I wish everybody could sleep again!

Oh, blah, blah, blah! Your needs!

They're too cranky to unwish the wish!

I've got to get the sandman to help.

It's sandman.

And I can't help you.

You got that? Why not?

What part of "no sleep equals no power"

Did you not understand?

There's got to be something

That will make cosmo and wanda sleep.

Please!

Hmm. Wait a second.

There is the super sleeper .

[Angelic singing]

Is it good? Have you heard, perhaps, of...

Rip van winkle?

I gave it to him as a loner,

And I didn't get it back for years.

Then we've got to get cosmo and wanda to sleep on it.

Quick! To the mattress mobile!

Thisis the mattress mobile?

Oh! I'm terribly sorry!

And your truck is where?

Cosmo! Wanda!

Both: what?!

Check out my comfy, new bed!

Where?

[Screaming]

It looks overstuffed,

Like wanda's butt.

And it looks soft, like cosmo's head.

Don't you want to try it?

No! No!

Relax! Relax!

This little schvinde comes complete

With magic fingers. Take a look.

Hey! Hey!

Adjustable box spring...

And power nap mode.

Wow! I'm not cranky anymore!

And I'm not butt ugly anymore!

Right? Hello?

A little positive reinforcement might help.

Although I continue to shrink!

I wish everybody could sleep again!

[Snoring]

Ahh! Snoring!

Music to my ears!

I'm back and sandier than ever!

So...we're cool, right?

Well, thanks to your wish,

Everyone destroyed their mattresses,

Which means they got to buy more.

So wearecool.

Awesome! Yes.

But just to make sure that you

Realize how much people need sleep,

Let's see how you do without it for another week.

Hoo! Ha! Ha!

Ha! Days? How bad could that be?

[Screaming]

That bad?

That's better!

Aah!

Air! Air!

I need air!

Oh, blah, blah, blah! Your needs!

[Laughing]

Two robots walk into a social establishment

And destroy all humans.

Is this voice amplification device functional?

Hey, dad! Whatcha you doing?

I'm mowing the lawn!

With the lawn mower I made myself!

[Whistling]

[Growling] dinkleberg!

Hey, sport, ready for some burgers

From the grill I made myself?

You bet!

Ready for a trip to the hospital?

You bet!

I'll get the stretcher I made myself.

Man: hey, turner!

Check out my new barbecue.

[Mooing]

[Growling] dinkleberg!

What's this?

It's lunch.

Oh!

But the dinklebergs are having brunch!

That's better than lunch!

Why can't we have a fancy brunch?

Or a fancy riding mower?

Or a fancy barbecue that works?

Well, we can't afford all those fancy new things,

Because we spend all our extra money on timmy.

But I'd never say...

"If we didn't have timmy, we could afford

All sorts of fancy, new things."

Yeah. Having a son can be such a drag.

Think how great our lives would be

If we didn't have timmy.

Is the exact opposite of how I really feel!

What's the matter, timmy?

Yeah, you look like something

The cat dragged in, ate, and then spit up.

What? Too literal?

I just overheard my parents

Wishing they didn't have me,

So they'd have more money to spend on themselves.

Really? Wow.

Good thing we're nottheir fairy godparents.

We'd have to grant them that.

If that's how they really feel,

There's only one thing for me to do.

I'm way ahead of you.

I'll get the monkey and the trampoline.

I'm going to run away from home!

Timmy! You're only !

But I've got magical fairy godparents

To take care of everything and anything I'd need.

What do I have to worry about?

I wish I could start living my life on the road!

[Tractor trailer horn]

[Screaming]

Too literal?

Don't worry.

We know a magical place

Where all runaway kids go.

The circus? No.

Circuses have to obey child labor laws.

We're at a carnival, which is like a circus...

[Screaming]

But far more dangerous!

They barely have to obey the laws of physics!

Doggie?

It's better than doggie.

It's your small intestine.

All: eww!

Eesh! I can do better than that!

Man: oh, yeah?

You think you have what it takes to be a carny?

Well, I ran away from home

And have a fifth grade education.

Well, you could be overqualified,

But I'll give you a shot.

[Screaming]

Eww!

[Ding]

Aah!

Uh, can you start with my back?

What's the matter, sport? Homesick?

No.

Maybe he's hungry.

Try a tasty possum on a stick.

Mmm! Mmm!

It's the rabies that gives it that extra zip.

Man, life on the road isn't as much fun

As I thought it would be.

[Grunts]

Maybe I am a little homesick.

I wish I could see what my parents are doing.

Maybe they're missing me, too.

Well, that's every piece of timmy's clothing.

I'm glad that's out of the way.

Yeah!

Now we can give timmy all these

Brand new clothes we bought him.

They threw all my stuff out!

They don't miss me at all!

Fine! Thenthis is my home now!

But timmy, you can't be a carny forever!

You don't have the skills.

You've never even beento prison.

Fine. Then I'll wish for the skills.

I wish I was the best carny ever!

[Sighing]

Let's here it for flayvin,

The world's bravest bear-wrastlin' munchkin!

[Bear growling]

Yay! Yay!

[Roars]

[Cheering]

I mean, timmy,

The world's bravest, strongest, juggling -year-old.

Chicken?[Crash]

Look! It's your dna!

[Cheering]

All: ooh!

[Cheering]

I'm getting pretty tired of that kid.

Oh, come on. He's notthatbad.

[Cheering]

Andthatis where I draw the line.

[Screaming]

Being a carny rocks!

I'm going to stay here forever!

Me, too!

I never want to go back to eating

Safely prepared food again.

Who wants candy-coated cockroach?

[Screaming]

Timmy, don't you think

You should go home, where you belong?

Forget it!

This is where I belong now!

I can take care of myself!

Ok, but if you can take care of yourself,

I guess you don't need fairies anymore.

What?

Hey!

We don't like strangers with their

Fancy fifth-grade learning,

Showing us...

Uh, what's the word? Up?

See? There he goes...

Uh, what's the word?

Again? Again!

Get ready for a bucket of deep-fried butt whipping,

Carny-style!

Hey! The snow cone machine's on fire!

Aah!

Wait for it.

Ok! Now!

All: get him!

Cosmo! Wanda! Help!

I'm being att*cked by the carnies!

Oh, no! They're not coming back!

[Screaming]

[Train whistle]

A train!

Wonder if I lost them.

Carny-style!

Aah!

[Train whistle]

Whew! What luck!

Aah!

I don't want to run away anymore.

I want to go home!

Oh, no!

Let's see you make anything out of thatballoon, punk!

[Screaming]

Hey! I'm home!

[Sobbing] I miss timmy!

[Sobbing] I miss timmy!

We miss timmy!we miss timmy!

Huh? They're miserable?

And they miss me?

Pincushion man: well, of course they miss you.

Oh, no!

Ok, you guys.

Mission accomplished.

Thanks, wanda.

[Laughter]

You're... You're laughing?

And you're not going to k*ll me?

I don't get it.

What's so funny?

And where did you guys do?

Timmy, we never left.

Didn't you see the pink pillows?

And the pink balloon?

And the green truck

And the green balloon basket?

Oh, you were never in anyrealdanger.

We'd never let anything happen to you.

Besides, those aren't carnies.

They're fairies!

Cosmo: except for the alligator man.

There comes a time when every kid with fairies

Thinks they can use magic to run away from home.

So all the fairies set up a fake carnival

Where the runaway kids can--uh, what's the word?

Run away to?

There he goes again!

Make him stop!

That way, you'd be safe and sound

Until you came to your senses

And returned home...punk.

You mean, you tricked me

To teach me a lesson?

Awesome!

Mom! Dad! I'm home!

Well, back to the bayou for me.

Ooh, when you get there,

Send back some deep-fried platypus.

Extra rabies.

Mom and dad: timmy!

[Giggling]

Where were you?

We filled your room with new clothes and everything.

I'm sorry.

I heard you guys talking about

How much more money you'd have

If you didn't have a kid, and...

I thought you didn't want me anymore.

Oh, sweetie, that's ridiculous!

We love you!

Besides, you were only gone two hours.

Yeah, but I'm the reason

The dinklebergs have so much more

Nice stuff than us.

Mmm, that may be true, son, but there's one thing

The dinklebergs don't have that we do,

And that's you!

In fact...

Dad: in your face, dinkleberg!

Yeah! What he said!

Oh, and by the way,

You're grounded for running away.

Cool! I'm totally loved!

Ooh! A rabbit!

I could fry that up and serve it on a stick.

Don't forget the rabies.

Everything tastes better with rabies.

Cosmo: yay, rabies!