02x13 - Information Stupor Highway

[bunniefuu]

♪♪ Timmy is an average kid ♪

♪♪ That no one understands ♪

♪♪ Mom and dad and vicky ♪

♪♪ Always giving him commands ♪

Bad twerp!

♪♪ Doom and gloom up in his room ♪♪

♪♪ Is broken instantly ♪

♪♪ By his magic little fish who'll grant his every wish ♪♪

♪♪ 'Cause in reality ♪

♪♪ They are his oddparents, fairly oddparents ♪♪

Wands and wings.floaty, crowny things.

♪♪ Oddparents, fairly oddparents ♪♪

♪♪ Really mod, peapod, buff bod, hot rod ♪♪

Obtuse, rubber goose,

Green moose, guava juice.

Giant snake, birthday cake,

Large fries, chocolate shake!

♪♪ Oddparents, fairly oddparents ♪♪

♪♪ It flips your lid when you are a kid ♪♪

♪♪ With fairly oddparents ♪

Yeah, right.

"Dear trixie tang,

"Instead of going to the big school dance

"With somebody handsome and popular,

"How about going with me, timmy turner,

"The least popular and handsome guy you know.

Think how good you'll look next to me in comparison."

Well, what do you guys think?

[Laughing hysterically]

Aw, man, no matter how hard I try,

I can't write a good letter.

Well, forget the mushy stuff. Try a threat.

What?!

Watch. "Dear trixie.

We have your parents. If you ever want to see them again--"

Timmy?

My parents! Activate fish mode!

Hi, sweetie. What are you doing?

Hey, you're writing a threatening love note!

That's how I met your mom.

Both: "if you ever want to see your parents again..."

[Laughing]

You know, I never did get that ransom.

It's not a love note.

I'm trying to invite a girl to a dance.

But you've got to let her know it

In a sweet, romantic, nice way.

That's moderately threatening.

If there's one thing girls love more

Than being told they're pretty,

It's being told they're prettier than other girls.

Well, then mention her hair.

It's so much shinier than yours, honey.

"And your hair, which is so much shinier than my mom's"

And her eyes, honey. Tell her that her eyes resonate

With a depth of intelligence that greatly surpasses yours.

"And your eyes, shining, intelligent,

"Deep and limpid pools of shining love light.

Gooey, gooey, gooey, lovey, goo."

B-b-but I wouldn't say any of that mushy gunk.

And that's why you don't have a date.

Hmm. This is still missing something.

The threatening reason that will make her say yes.

"Say yes and I promise the safe return of your parents."

Well, our work here is done.

Let's leave timmy alone so I can talk to you more

About my not so limpid eyes and my not so shiny hair.

Ok, i--i'm in trouble, aren't i?

Let's go.

Wow! That's the most beautiful, romantic, touching,

And slightly threatening e-mail I've ever read.

It's threatening and romantic. It's threatmantic!

And horrifyingly embarrassing.

But timmy, I thought you really felt that way about trixie.

Actually, my love for her burns

With the white-hot intensity of a thousand suns.

But I can't tell her that.

But I can, thanks to my parental battering ram.

It's the latest in tough love parenting.

"Burns for you--intensity-- thousand suns." Send!

Computer: message sent.

Hey, why'd you do that?!

If I had to be miserable because of your letter, so do you.

Mom: get back here.

Still in trouble. Gotta go.

Ah! Dad sent my threatmantic e-mail!

I wish the e-mail was back. Make it come back!

Both: we can't get it back! Why not?!

It's a love letter, and our magic can't interfere with true love.

If you guys can't bring it back, there's only one thing to do.

I wish I was inside the internet!

You want us to come with you?

And leave the computer vulnerable so my dad can

Send more stupid letters that you can't help me with?

No way.

I wish you guys would stay here

And guard this computer no matter what. Got it?

Got it!

Did you really need to wave your wands for that one?

Uhh...no. Uhh...no.

Now attach me to an e-mail.

Let's get digital.

Computer: your message has been sent.

Cool!

I'm surfing the web-- literally!

There it is, my e-mail!

Closer...closer...

Got it! Whoa!

Whoa! What?! Wait!

Computer: you've got mail.

Oh, no you don't. All I have to do is delete this thing.

"Dear aj. Thank you for allowing us to

"Scrape some of your brain cells for our cloning program.

Stay smart! Your friend, the president."

Wait a minute. This is a letter for aj.

I'm in aj's room!

Aw, man. Must have followed the wrong letter.

So doctor, if you attach the seed thrower

To the back of your satellite,

It'll plant seeds while it orbits the earth.

Thus ending world hunger.

That's brilliant, aj. Nasa thanks you and the world thanks you.

And?

And the money has been placed in your account.

Well, time to check my e-mail.

Hey, something opened my letter from the president!

Is that a computer virus?

I've gotta get out of here.

[Knocking]

Woman: aj!

[Knocking] aj! I'm both respecting your privacy by knocking

But asserting my authority as your mother by coming in anyway!

Honey, you really should think about redecorating.

Yahoo! At cyberspeed,

I can use the world wide web

To be anywhere in the world in the blink of an eye.

Wow! I'm in australia!

Crikey! Is that a computer virus?

I'm in the heart of africa.

Lyle! Kevin! A computer virus.

Good heavens, bruce. The humans must have discovered

The location of our secret society

Of super-intelligent gorillas!

Well, if it's so secret, how did they discover it?

You know, lyle, he's got a point.

Oh, get off my back, bruce.

Chinese letters? Technology's amazing.

I'm as far away from home as physically possible

And I got here in a millisecond.

Golly, good thing this chinese restaurant

Is only steps away from my house.

That'll be $ . . Here fortune cookie.

"Confucius say you will use a battering ram

To violate your son's privacy."

Well, ok. I don't want to make confucius a liar.

[Pounding]

Dad: oh, timmy.

Oh, no! It's timmy's dad's eye!

I'm respecting your privacy by knocking

But asserting my authority as your father by coming in anyway.

[In timmy's voice] do you mind? I'm doing my homework.

In the bathroom? But that's where I pay my bills.

He's coming in. What'll we do?

Pull my wand.

[Foghorn blows]

Whoa! What is your mother feeding you?

Uh, I'll use the computer later.

Let me know when you're done.

I need to look for a contractor to fix this wall.

Oh, man. This light-speed searching is cool and all,

But there are too many places to look.

And I gotta find trixie's computer

Before she opens my threatmantic e-mail.

Computer: you've got mail...

From a desperate boy.

I should just delete this, but that would be rude.

I like to personalize my rejections.

[Knocking] trixie!

I'm both respecting your privacy by knocking

But asserting my authority as your father by coming in anyway.

Phone for you.

Whoa. This place is creepy. Where am i?

What's all the fairy pictures?

"Www.fairies'r'real.wand"?

A photo of me on a fairy web site?

Cool! I'm being downloaded.

I mean, oh no! I'm being downloaded!

Huh? Wait a second.

"Nut job replaced at new baltimore community college

For using funds to build a trap for fairy godparents."

"Crazy single caucasian male seeks equally crazy single female

To discuss belief that fairy godparents exist."

Oh, my gosh! I must be in the computer of...

My crazy fairy-believing teacher mr. Crocker!

Yes, I'm mr. Crocker.

Using my new web site at fairies'r'real.wand,

We'll soon have gathered enough evidence

To prove the existence of...

Fairy godparents!

Ah! I better hide!

I must record this glorious moment for posterity!

I shall record this for future generations

So that all may learn--

Woman: denzel!

[Pounding] denzel crocker!

I'm both respecting your privacy by knocking

But asserting my authority as your mother by coming in anyway.

Could you stop with the crazy long enough to help mommy?

Mother, stop interrupting!

Can't you see I'm busy ranting?!

But you need to put on this leather dress

So I can hem it for the big dance tonight.

I hate modeling your dresses!

Although it does make me feel pretty.

Oh, well. At least no one I know can see this.

This is gold, and it's digitally recorded gold.

I'm saving this.

Oh, no! I pinged!

Hey, who pinged?

Someone opened my files!

Busted!

Most people would assume this is the work of a hacker,

But I know some child must have wished himself

Into the internet with the help of his...

Fairy godparents!

Must...trace...data back to source!

[Jaws clanking]

Ahhhhh!

Way to bust a move, son.

Go denzel! Go denzel! Go denzel!

Must get digital proof of fairies.

Fairies. Proof of fairies.

Ok, the room's fixed and the computer's still safe.

Now what do you want to do?

Recording proof of fairies.

Recording proof of fairies.

I don't know. What do you want to do?

I don't know. Let's have a magic fight!

Just for the heck of it.

Oh, why not. It's not like

Anybody can see what we're doing in here.

Yeah! It would sure stink if somebody was actually recording this.

And had irrefutable proof that some kid had--

Fairy godparents! Yes!

Denzel! Mother!

Excellent!

I, mr. Crocker, finally have irrefutable video proof

That fairies exist!

Now all I have to do is upload this data,

Then, using the internet,

Transmit it to every computer in the world!

And with the unparalleled speed of my computer,

It should take no time at all!

Computer: download commencing.

Computer: %. Yay!

%. Boo!

Curse this obsolete one-month-old technology!

Negative %.

Drat!

Look at that massive stream of e-mail.

Maybe my threatmantic letter's in there.

Junk mail, junk mail. Oh, man.

My letter isn't anywhere in this batch.

I'm doomed to be a total laughingstock.

What happened? Where am i?

Ahhh!

Trixie?

[Timmy reading message aloud]

Wow! I'm in a chat room with trixie and veronica.

"Hey, veronica. I am fine and popular.

I'm just about to read all my e-mail."

No!

"Dear trixie, as your best friend,

"I wish you nothing but happiness and eternal joy

Your whole life long!"

Why--can't--i--be--you?!

Woman: veronica! Dinner!

Don't call me that! Call me trixie!

I'm trixie!

I've got to follow veronica's e-mail

Back to trixie's computer.

I'll just send a message, attach myself to it,

And end up on her screen.

But I have to say something she'd expect veronica to say.

[Timmy reading aloud]

Do I think timmy turner is neat?

"Why? Do you?"

Do I think timmy turner is neat?

Actually, my love for him

Burns with the white hot intensity of a thousand suns,

But I can't let trixie know that.

"No way. He's gross."

Oh, great. The crazy one likes me.

My letter! Got it!

Yeah! This rocks!

I've got my letter, and I'm not a laughingstock.

And best of all, for the first time ever,

Things didn't fall apart when I made a big wish.

Finally I have proof--proof!--

Of the existence of fairy godparents!

You guys!

Shh. Mr. Crazy is talking. Say hi, ti--

Shhh! If he doesn't know whose fairies we are,

Then we don't have to go away forever.

Once I upload this video file of you fairies

And send it to every computer in the world,

I'll cease being a laughingstock!

Then I will be the man who proved that fairies actually exist!

Cosmo, wanda! Turn the computer off!

But we gotta get you out first.

Who did that?

No, now, before he figures out whose fairies you are.

Um, that's off, right?

Cosmo? Wanda? Must have destroyed the computer.

Crocker's video footage!

I've got to get it before it gets back to his computer.

Wanda: uh, dad?

The computer's busted.

Giga-gasp!

Cosmo: can you fix it?

Sure. I'll make a new one.

Almost to crocker's computer.

I must be in crocker's hard drive.

Oh, no! Crocker's uploading the video clip!

Computer: now uploading proof of fairies.

%... %... --

Ah! A firewall!

Ha! Once this upload is complete,

I've programmed it to hack into the mainframe of the internet

And route it to every computer and television screen in the world!

Then everyone will know that fairies exist.

The pink-hatted computer virus!

I'm ready for you this time.

Destroy that pink hat!

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Here's the hard drive.

Here's the monitor.

Here's the keyboard.

And here's the power supply.

Run, eddie. Run!

Computer: you've got mail.

Ha, I'm a genius.

Now I'm going to make ice cream out of birdseed and gum.

Come on. We gotta find timmy in this thing.

I'll never get the footage with these guys dogging me.

I've gotta give them the slip somehow.

[Timmy reading sign]

That's it!

So long, fellas!

Now, to find that video footage.

Computer: %... %...

Yes! Yes!

Mom: denzel? Will you come and sponge mommy's feet?

Yes...i mean no!

Computer: %...

Whoa! I'm in the central hub of the internet.

All the data from around the world goes in there,

Gets copied in there,

And gets sent out up there to every computer in the world.

And that's where my data's going!

Ahhhhhhhhh!

Computer: %... %...

No!

%...

%... %...

Hey, when we went through the data stream we erased some of it.

That's it! Hey, crockpot.dork.

Hungry for some information?

So come get some.

%... %...

What? No!

Come on, pal. I'm right here.

%... %...

I can't get it to turn on!

Oh, no, not me. There's no way I'm gonna--

Run, gerbil boy, run!

%... %...

Upload aborted.

No! Must send the data again.

Where's that file? Where's that file?!

Oh, you mean this file?

Upload commencing... %...

What?!

Whoo-hoo!

You've got mail.

Hey, I've got mail.

No, I've got mail. I'm the alpha male.

Hey, I'mthe alpha male.

It's for you. I mean, you are the alpha male.

You've got mail.

Ay, crikey!

I knew you'd come home.

Some sightings of the pink-hatted internet virus were reported today.

In a press release, authorities stated...

Although it does make me feel pretty.

Oh well, at least no one can see this.

[Loud laughter]

Oh, the humiliation!

Can this get any worse?

There he is!

This is where I've traced the source

Of the pink-hatted computer virus.

No! No!

Oh, denzel! Where did I go wrong?

Computer: you've got timmy.

Guys!

Timmy! Timmy!

Timmy?

How's the new computer?

Egad!

You're not supposed to be on those kinds of web sites!

But that's my teacher.

Well, it does make him look pretty.

Nice party, timmy.

Aren't you upset that you're here without a date?

Are you nuts? I got to surf the internet,

Become a virus,

Humiliate crocker on a global scale,

And, most importantly, prevent trixie

From reading this mushy, threatmantic letter.

Hey!

Trixie, no, don't!

Oh, timmy, that's the sweetest,

Most threatening thing I've ever read.

Uh, really?

Sure, and if I didn't think you only wanted to date me

Because I'm prettier than your mom,

I'd totally go out with you.

What?! Security!

Wow, she likes me...

And I creep her out!

Awesome!

[Ahem]

I got your letter, timmy.

"My passion for you burns with

The white-hot intensity of a thousand suns."

It wasn't for you. It was for trixie.

I am trixie!

Guys, a little help.

Thanks, guys.

Don't thank us, timmy.

Thank technology!