02x09 - Mighty Mom & Dyno Dad/Knighty Knight

[bunniefuu]

F ♪♪ timmy is an average kid ♪

♪♪ That no one understands ♪

♪♪ Mom and dad and vicky ♪

♪♪ Always giving him commands ♪

Bed, twerp!

♪♪ Doom and gloom up in his room ♪♪

♪♪ Is broken instantly ♪

♪♪ By his magic little fish who'll grant his every wish ♪♪

♪♪ 'Cause in reality... ♪

♪♪ They are his oddparents, fairly oddparents ♪♪

Wands and wings.floaty, crowny things.

♪♪ Oddparents, fairly oddparents ♪♪

♪♪ Really mod, peapod, buff bod, hot rod ♪♪

Obtuse, rubber goose,

Green moose, guava juice.

Giant snake, birthday cake,

Large fries, chocolate shake!

♪♪ Oddparents, fairly oddparents ♪♪

♪♪ It flips your lid when you are the kid ♪♪

♪♪ With fairly oddparents ♪

Yeah, right.

[Rooster crows]

Must... Keep...

Food.... On...

Table.

[Beep beep!]

Yaah!

[Watches beep]

Yaah!

Yaaaahhh!!

Mom, dad...

Can you check my homework?

Eh--yep, that's homework, all right. Eh-heh!

Uh...very good, timmy.

Here you go, sweetie.

Tuna salad for lunch.

Um...mom? These are dad's socks.

Hey, these have absolutely no arch support.

What's wrong with your parents?

They're always in such a rush.

They barely have time for me!

Bye, school. Have a nice day at timmy.

Hurray, they're home!

So-much-joy- in-middle-management.

Must-overpay- babysitter.

Thank you!parents: ow!

[Snoring]

Mom, dad, I can't wait to tell you about my day.

I...i...

[Snoring]

This is so unfair!

I'm sure they're doing the best they can, timmy.

I know, but their overachieving

Is k*lling them andme.

They just can't give it up.

Well, they are only human.

[Ka-ching!] You're right!

The crimson chin. He's a super hero.

He can do everything without even breaking a sweat!

Being a super hero would make any day easier!

Exactly. When my parents wake up tomorrow,

I wish they had super powers!

Which ones?

All of them: invulnerability...

So nothing can hurt 'em and they'd never get tired,

Flight to get to work,

Super strength and super speed

To finish their work faster.

And timmy senses, so they'll always know when I need them.

Oh, and heat vision to...

Uh...heat stuff with.

And toss in whatever else you guys can think of.

You wish it...we dish it!

[Beep beep!]

Meat product!

And...

[Super hero music]

We have amazing super human abilities,

Like the hero in this book.

It says here that people with super powers

Have to have secret identities

Because their enemies would hurt their friends and family.

Do we have enemies?

[Whistling]

Dinkleburg.

Both: ahh!

Timmy senses tingling!

Timmy needs our help!

But remember, we need to hide our powers.

Timmy's a sharp kid.

Hi, guys.

What super powers?!

What's with the suits?

Eh...it's, uh...

Take your mild-mannered suits and horn-rimmed glasses to work day!

Really!

Anything we can help you with?

I need a little help with this homework. See, it's about...

Hep, hep! Don't tell me!

You need to do a report on the exact distance

Between the earth and our yellow sun!

I'm on it!

I'll get your breakfast, timmy!

Look, a monkey!

Hey, I have meat vision, too!

I'm back... From the surface of the sun!

I mean, surface of the...library!

And the sun is exactly , , miles

From this kitchen.

Well, gotta work.

Ok, you guys.

Ha ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha! Ho ho ho ho ha ha!

Good joke, hey, turner?

I'm onto you, dinkleburg.

Thank you, mystery home seller!

Don't thank me.

Just initial in all the right places!

So, how was school?

I haven't left yet.

You've only been gone a few minutes.

Right. I totally forgot

That today's a few minutes long day, too.

You work a few minutes and then you're done!

Hey, hey! So, eh...whaddya wanna do?

Well, the bus doesn't come for more minutes.

Wanna just talk?

That's a great idea, son!

As long as it's not about my secret identity, I'm fine!

So, uh, what would you like to talk about, sweetie?

And that's all you need to know about where babies come from.

But what's the machine for?

I'll tell you when you're older.

There's the bus. Gotta go!

Love ya! Bye!

Wow! What a cool kid!

It's nice that we got to spend this time with timmy.

But now we've got the whole morning

To do anything we want.

You thinking what I'm thinking?

Oh, yeah!

It's time to fight crime!

It says so in the book.

Oh. Well...ok.

I am...

Mighty mom!

And I am...

Dyno dad!

♪♪ Mighty mom and dyno dad! ♪♪

Aaaahhhh!

Ugh!

Heh heh heh!

Goodness! It sure is drafty up here.

Mmm. You'd better button up or you'll catch your death...

Of justice!

Who knew this town was such a crime-infested rat hole?!

I know!

We have to keep fighting bad guys

And keep the city safe for our son!

Eh eh! Oh!

[Whoosh! Of timmy's parents]

Hi, vicky. We're home!

Say the words, "vicky, you can go home."

You can go...

Back to watching timmy for the rest of the night!

Look over there!

Mom, dad. Oh, no!

Guess what time it is?!

[Toilet flushing sounds]

They'll be back. I know they will.

Their timmy senses will be tingling any minute!

My timmy senses are tingling!

I don't have time for timmy.

I'm trying to make the world safe for timmy!

Now that they're super heroes,

They're busier than ever!

Ho ho ho! I can defend truth and justice all night!

Let's!

This stinks! I wish they didn't have super powers anymore!

Let me guess...

All: they're so super powerful

They're invulnerable to magic.

Man. The only way to get them to change back

Is if I make them vulnerable again.

How are we gonna do that?

Well, it says here to change a super person back to normal,

They have to willingly give up their powers on their own.

That's it! Then I'll make them!

I'll become the biggest, baddest, most powerful

Super villain ever!

I wish I was...

Galactimus, the eater of planets!

Everything seems quiet.

Both: super gasp!

Behold, my mighty victims!

I, galactimus, will now eat your planet like a meatball!

Both: never!

[Coughing]

Form of a giant shark.

Shape of a bucket of water!

Um...

Beware my power?

Sorry, honey.

[Loud footsteps]

Mmm! Tasty!

Nice snot, mighty mom!

Thanks, dyno dad!

He's tougher than he looks.

And he looked pretty tough to start with!

You cannot win!

To me, my fairies!

Hey! Where are my pants?

Surrender your powers to me,

Or I shall destroy the earth...

And your son!

They've got timmy!

I love you, mom. Give up your powers.

I love you, dad. Give up your powers.

We dare not endanger timmy or the earth.

It's my favorite of all planets,

And he's my favorite of all sons!

Yes, it seems we only have one choice.

We must make ourselves vulnerable

And relinquish our mighty abilities!

Aw!

I'm gonna miss you, meat vision.

Both: galactimus!

We give you our powers!

I wish their powers were gone!

Farewell, powers.

Mom, dad!

It's great to have you back to normal!

Hey, now that we're in the middle

Of this barren, battle-scarred wasteland

On the outskirts of town, how about a picnic?

Mmm! Picnic-vision. You don't suppose timmy has...

Oh! Don't be ridiculous!

Let's just enjoy our lunch

With the most important thing in our lives...

Timmy!

Right. This is a boring town anyway.

Ha ha ha ha ha!

[Siren]

Oh, boy!

The th annual dimmsdale camelot festival!

Where you get to dress up

And act like people from the middle ages!

Look!

I'm middle-aged!

You kids get off my lawn!

No, I mean the long ago time

Of knights and dragons and wizards.

This shall be most awesome.

But I'm gonna need the best knight costume ever!

Come on. Let us sally forth into yonder fair!

[Horse neighs]

[Laughter]

[Crunch!]

Greetings, fellow knight!

Shalst we quest for the grail?

Um... I don't think so.

I'm just here to point to where the porta-potties are.

Over there.

Thanks for the info, sir "lancelittle."

They always call me that here.

Well, that stunk.

Maybe we can at least find a wizard.

Woooooh!

Did somebody say "wizard"?

What kind of wizard are you?

I'm... The cleaning wizard!

How many times has this happened to you?

You're riding in the forest, when suddenly...

Hey!

You get cow manure on your talking shield?

Well, the cleaning wizard makes almost all of it

Go all away!

Ah! This is no way to treat a man my age!

Verily! An actual dragon!

[All gasp]

Wow, that's really...

Pathetic.

Man, this fair stinks!

Dad's voice; moooove over, timmy.

Mom's voice: we can't see the dragon.

Mom? Dad?

Isn't this a great fair? Look what I bought.

The cleaning wizard!

And this manure almost comes all the way off!

[Coughing]

This is the worst camelot fair ever!

[Clang!]

Camelot? I thought this was the state fair!

Well, I'm gonna win a blue ribbon anyway.

Bye, son.

The knight's short, the wizard's a salesman,

The dragon's fake...

And...people are throwing manure at us!

Whaddya mean us?

Know what?

I wish we were all in the real middle ages.

[Ding!]

This is great!

We're actually in the middle ages!

Well, that's what you wished for,

Sir point-out- the-obvious-a-lot.

Yeah, but here it's just called "the ages".

[Loud footsteps]

What ho!, Tiny knight

With a shield that smells like a hundred horses' butts?

I am on my way to pull the sword from the stone

And claim my rightful place as king of england.

And you are?

I am many names.

The shining knight, the hammer of fury.

But you, my fellow warrior,

May call me... Sir finkleburg.

Finkleburg? What kind of dumb name is finkle...?

Cool! I got pounded on by sir finkleburg!

[Ding! Ding!]

Hello, timmy.

Wow! This place sure is authentic.

It looks just like camelot!

Speaking of which, I have to go to the can...

A lot!

I sure hope this costume has a zipper!

What are they doing here?

You wished for all of us to come back.

I can't have my mom and dad

Running around in the middle ages in a cowsuit!

Get them out of here!

I told you to go before we got in the suit.

I'll only be a second.

I just have to move this udder.

[Zip!]

[Dragon roars]

Hi, timmy!

Oh, my gosh!

My parents are gonna be eaten by a dragon!

I need a w*apon of some kind!

Hey, how about the big glowing

Magical sword over there?

I, sir finkleburg, doth claim this sword excalibur

As...aah aah aah!

My arm! My arm that has slain a thousand men!

Hoo ah!

But you gave it a good try!

And we have a lovely parting gift for you.

The sword-in-a-stone home game!

[Applause and cheers]

I claim this toy sword as...

Aah! Aah!

Let's hear it for him, folks, huh?

[Applause and cheers]

Next up, number .

Please give a rousing th century welcome to...

Arthur lebowitz!

[Audience applauds]

That's king arthur lebowitz to you.

Ok, artie, I've already cast the spell.

The next mo who yanks the sword

Is gonna be the king of england! You got it?

Whatever you say, uncle merlin.

I'm over here, kid.

And once you get the sword,

I can hock it for gold and get us out of this rat hole town.

Sorry. No time! Dragon to slay!

Gotta run!

'Tis the new king of england!

We must follow his glorious...

Aaaahhh!

All: all hail king...

Man: what's the name again?

[Coughing] arthur.

All: arthur!

King arthur!

But uncle merlin,

I'm not the king.

Not yet, artie,

But I want people to get used to the idea.

I'm gonna make you king, a great king!

And then more importantly, I'll be a great, rich uncle of a great king!

But I can't even see.

Can't you use your magic to make some sort

Of glass thing to put in front of my eyes

That'll improve my vision?

What? That's crazy talk?

You want them to burn you like a witch?

Come on, we gotta get you "kingafied".

[Dragon roars]

So, are you enjoying the fair?

[Dragon growls]

What a great, realistic dragon ride!

I'll say. Pick us next!

All right, we might have missed the sword,

But if we find the holy grail,

You're sure to be king of england!

But I can't see anything.

Geez, you're a whiny little twit.

My magical powers will lead us to the grail.

Gosh!

My feet hurt!

No wonder metal shoes never caught on.

Let's rest and grab some water. Ow! Huh?

A cup. Hey, did somebody drop this?

Oh-sah! He has found the holy grail!

He is even more the king than he was minutes ago!

Aaaahh! Ah-ah-ah-ah!

Dagnabbit! Well, there's no choice.

The only way to get you to be king of england

Is for you to slay that dragon.

You mean, you use your magic to help me slay the dragon, right?

No. Dragons are impervious to magic.

You're on your own, sport.

What?!

Hey! We were here first.

Well, this ride looks worth the wait.

I wonder where it lets out.

Think we're close to the dragon's lair?

As they say in the middle ages,

That's a big - , good buddy.

Dad: yay! We're next!

My parents! You gotta help me fight the dragon!

Uh...well, actually, timmy,

Dragons are impervious to magic.

So we'll be with you in spirit...

Way over here!

Hi, timmy!

Guys!

Mom! Dad!

This is so realistic!

I know!

It actually looks and feels

Like I'm getting third-degree burns!

Ow! I mean, neat!

Timmy: hey, you big, stupid lizard!

Leave my parents alone!

Well, that was anti-climactic.

Let's get some camelot pie.

Ow! The blisters! I mean, neat, the blisters!

Wow! This magic sword rocks!

Excuse me, have you seen

A dragon around here?

Get down!

What's the matter with you?

Uh...i don't see very well.

Well, I can't do this by myself.

Hang on, dude!

There you go.

When we die a horrible, flaming death,

You deserve to see it, too.

Everything's so clear!

I--i can see!

I can fight!

Here you go.

I picketh thee...

I shall call it the...

The shining blade of lebowitz.

Uh, how about excalibur?

That works, too.

At the fire demon!

Hey! Sir points-out- the-obvious-a-lot,

You're not dead!

How'd the battle go?

It was amazing!

Artie's gonna kick that dragon's...

Uh...guys?

Well, we can take a crack at it.

I can breathe!

I can fight!

Aaaahhhh-ha!

He hath slain the dragon!

He is the true king of--

Aaaaaaaah!

All: food!

All: all hail king artie!

That's arthur!

All: whatever!

I thank thee.

Pray thee, whilst thou stay

And be one of my knights of the pentagonal ottoman?

Uh, you might wanna go with a round table.

I like it!

Artie, pay day!

I knew you could do it!

All: oh, boy! Seconds!

And so, artie lebowitz became king arthur.

Sir finkleburg, with his one arm,

Became the world's first slot machine,

And the dragon never barbecued anyone again!

The end!

Mmm, thanks for reading it to us, son.

You know, with my burnt hands and bad eyes,

I couldn't have held or read that book.

All in a night's work.

You guys mind? I'm looking for a new gig.