03x21 - Still Mother's Day
Posted: 11/13/22 07:17
yeah yeah yeah I need your help with
something really quick that you can't
answer me and then pretend to be asleep
all right what do you need well I was
just um go fine i guess i won't tell you
about the delicious ham was ham no hand
okay anyway i'm trying to figure out
what to get mom for Mother's Day she
likes a delicious ham I'm serious dad
last year I just got her some stupid
flowers this year I want to give her
something really nice oh you're headed
down a dangerous gift path son what you
really want to do is set the bar low oh
I see what you're saying and then just
get her something a tiny bit nicer every
year no you set the bar low and you
leave it there do what I do with my mom
every year I show up at her place bright
and early with a gift that has my face
on it bill t-shirt a bill coffee mug
billo like a pillow with your face on
and this year she's getting a toasty
bill lankan to go with amazing you can
sleep at night my head rests easy on my
bill oh they're cheaper if you buy two
hey
[Applause]
[Music]
all right mom I'll see you saturday if I
love you oh my mom so looking forward to
mothers day at the Palm Court oh you
mean that T thing you do every year not
just T high tea oh hi t that's the only
way I could get through it this year's
gonna be even better because we're
bringing more for the first time and
Lauren can't wait you're gonna love it
we get dressed up there's flowers and
candle oh great so it's like a more
boring version of church the rite of
passage I know my mother finally thought
of me as a woman when she invited me to
my first high tea Oh Heidi count me in
honey just a girl or you could go with
me I could loan you a dress that purple
one I caught you in I told you I was in
a play take a team Sun Piketty oh great
that you showed up without calling ahead
I just wanted to come by to tell you
that I'd like to spend Mother's Day with
my Billy Boy instead of making you get
me some silly gift what about Johnny
what was the point of getting me a merry
well first of all I'm not Johnny's
mother oh but sometimes he does shout
out oh mama
and second of all he's in st. Louis
visiting his mother why didn't you go
with him oh because I don't like that
woman she has no boundaries and she's so
manipulative can't even imagine how he
puts up with her brutal and it sucks
away a little bit of your soul every day
unless you don't want to spend the whole
day with your mother although I spent
the whole day with you and labor pushing
and pushing and well hey you can stop
now I'm out it'd be fun to get dressed
up and go someplace fancy fancy hey you
know what's fancy high tea at the Palm
Court oh you wanna take me to high tea
no but you know who does Jude really oh
that would be wonderful I have always
dreamed of going to the Palm Court 40
I've heard it so classy oh I'll have to
take my be no Judy the answers a big yes
yes to what what was the question Billy
told me you want to take me to tea for
Mother's Day what well you're already
going what it would it k*ll you to add
one more no but somebody might die look
Louise it's it's already myself Linda
and Lauren my mom and it's just a table
for four Oh Lauren doesn't even want to
go maybe you could take my mom instead
dress in kitchen please just unloading
your mom on me she's gonna ruin
everything Judy it's old ladies drinking
tea and eating tiny sandwiches how do
you ruin that
two very special for me and it's
Lauren's first time and I don't want
your mother ruining it by taking over
the whole thing and making it all about
hook Judy my mom's not gonna take over
Judy I've got the Palm Court on the line
and they said they can give us a bigger
table you called them but it'll have to
be at nine o'clock in the morning which
is great because then all our scouts can
drive out to Joliet and see the house I
drew up do you okay so just put a step
will call you back listen uh Louise this
is something my sister and I have been
doing with our mom for many years it's
it's kind of a Michael's family
tradition tradition I see I wouldn't
want to intrude on your tradition thanks
for understanding oh I understand I'll
be the only woman in the family not
invited again thanks for understanding
[Music]
can somebody get that Maisie oh look at
you look great you to change your hair
you look five years younger thanks mom
huh I change my hair too i threw out my
bangs you must not have noticed because
she does anything i know don't you two
have a chance to catch up last night
yeah it was great was really really
great we talked and talked yeah it was
wonderful I'll stay here next time why
mom you have your own room in my house
here you have to sleep on the couch with
your head and builds a stent so alive in
this house oh I supposed to my house
where you feel dead no honey not dead
just less alive my mom oh hi Helen how
was your night at Linda's still smell
like ass like sleeping in a litter box
so can I get you something to drink well
little early in the day for a martini
how about a screwdriver oh good Louise
is here and she brought that voice have
you been I got married I know
congratulations now don't go making any
Asian jokes because my husband's
Japanese I wasn't going to oh sure you
were everybody does but not all Asians
are terrible drivers although chany is
speaking of drivers where's bill with
that screwdriver okay oh yeah grandma
who's your favorite grandma really who's
your favorite Lauren to merge a very
first mother's day tea with a girl you
must soak pain yeah usually I have a
surprise whatwhat's fry well you know
how you said I can't come to tea with
you because traditions are so important
well I agree so I've decided to start my
own tradition Oh Louise that frame
should have your own tradition exactly
I'm going to spend Mother's Day outlet
shopping with my granddaughter Lauren
sounds great whoa not great Lauren
you're coming to tea with us yeah I
remember you're excited whether she
knows the city how will she be able to
spend this hundred dollar gift card
tradition you've never done it before
well Lawrence never gone to tea with you
before but suddenly that's a tradition
how come you're our tradition is a
tradition in my traditions other
traditions are accepting tradition
don't I get a say in what I want to do
you know if Lauren really wants to go
with my mom you always come with us next
to you know Mother's Day mother you're
spending it with your mother and you are
gonna spend it with your mother and I am
going to spend it with my mother and
we're all gonna have a happy-ass
mother's day I'll just go in there I
know how to talk to her well this is
awkward yeah mom we should probably head
back to my apartment it's not that
awkward if anybody has her keys handy we
should probably get to the hospital why
because I kind of stabbed him
[Music]
the nurse said my mom's gonna be fine
she just needed a couple of stitches I
don't know what happened well as I
understand it you stabbed my mother
behind me and I didn't see her and I
turned with the knife and I stabbed my
mother accident I gotta tell you I'm
impressed I mean we've all thought about
it that you actually oh here she is Oh
Jenna Louise I'm so sorry son i said
something shining at your hand hello I'm
dr. Gibbon oh and this is my son Bill
and it's lovely wife Judy who stabbed me
how are you feeling louise pretty good a
woman have just came out of a coma try
and think we should know doctor I just
changed the dressing twice a day make
sure she takes her pain pills and read
this pamphlet managing rage I don't have
rage I told you it was an accident all
right calm down try to get her to read
that you take it easy on that arm for a
few days okay I don't know how I'm gonna
be able to manage on my own someone's
gonna have to help me cook wash my hair
somebody was gonna be able to put my
tight hey I didn't stop her
[Music]
Lauren I need to get ready for the tea I
am didn't you see the dress I laid out
for you on your bed yeah i sat on I want
to put on my chance I'm going to your
tea can i just wear what I want well
yeah I suppose it's just that I do a lot
for you and I was just hoping you'd give
me this one day after all it is what do
they call it oh yes mother's day crying
I'll go put on a stupid dress or any
dress you want I'll be up in a minute to
pick it out everybody excited about the
Palm Court well as excited as I can be
considering I was up half the night
someone was talking gibberish in their
sleep hum I wasn't asleep i was sitting
on the edge of your bed telling you all
about my hopes to my dream oh well good
luck with those honey you think you're
tired louise's milk in this whole
incident I had to go over and cook her
dinner clean her house if I say no to
anything she points to her all what
awful stabbing oh thanks for dropping me
off Betty i would entertain myself that
I got stabbed Oh Judy I I brought you
some laundry these are my delicates and
they have to be washed by hand I would
do it myself but as you know I know I'll
doing later hey mom happy Mother's Day
what are you doing here I was gonna pick
you up for lunch later oh I thought we
could skip lunch I don't want to get too
full before my tea with the ladies wait
for him so here's what what makes you
think you're coming with us oh I just
thought in polite society that one is
invited to tea after one is fair nice
going in the kitchen now
ten bucks he comes out bleeding hey
buddy step up you are taking that woman
to every annoying horrible place that
she wants to go to until mother's days
over you owe me this I've pulled up
tight what's worse I've had to pull him
down all right and so we're a good time
don't fire just any cheap piece-of-crap
with your face on it
see Lauren is this fun gave all dressed
up and acting like proper ladies grandma
what are you drinking I thought they
only serve tea here it is tea iced tea
Long Island iced tea hey my mother's day
to Judy what's wrong you don't look like
you're having any fun Louise can't
believe I'm actually feeling guilty for
not letting her come today I don't know
how she does it stop letting that woman
upset you so much forget about her she's
not here oh she's here she picks and she
picks and she picked Leigh just can't
take it anymore and you just want a
title fight on her neck hey this place
is fancy on laura's oh I get it we're
pretending mom didn't just have a
meltdown what sweet girl I'm letting
Louise ruin my day I'm gonna put her out
of my mind and have a wonderful Mother's
Day good for you Judy we're up she'll
have what I'm having and i'll have
another oh I'm really starting to have a
good time later could you take our
picture sure are all you girls sisters
thanks everybody say cheese oh crap crap
why are you here my mom wanted to have
tea at the Drake Hotel your mom's here
yeah she's downstairs in the powder room
what are you doing here you were
supposed to be at the Palm Court the
Palm Court at the Drake Hotel you
jackass woman she just won't take no for
an answer I've had it if she thinks she
can show up here and expect us to
welcome her with open on she's gonna be
fine the nurse said that the painkillers
for a knife wound relaxed her so she was
limber for the fall the good thing you
stabbed her first I believe I heard her
again you think it wasn't an accident do
you think I have it out for her really
starting to look that way mom honey I
was right there the stairs were a total
accident that said I didn't see the
stabbing can't comment she drives me so
crazy she pushes and manipulates and
digs her heels and until she gets her
way I know what that's like you saying
nothing are you saying I'm like Nana
well you did push me into coming to this
tea with you part it's Mother's Day ya
know it's going to make you breakfast
like I always do but suddenly that
wasn't good enough I couldn't even wear
what I wanted to wear you guilted me
into doing everything your way I did not
guilt you besides that gave birth to I
think that entitle
hi you're like my mother I married my oh
my god that's not going to happen again
I never want to be the kind of mother
who guilts you into doing stuff with her
okay mom I forget it really yeah i mean
i don't want to be on your bad side seen
you in action dr. you remember my son
Dylan my lovely daughter-in-law Judy who
stabbed me and shoved me down the stairs
didn't read that pamphlet did you can
you and lauren go bring the car around I
was such oh my i'm not sure so this is
how i'm going to die please forgive me i
never meant to hurt you i guess i'm just
starting to realize that i may have a
short fuse with you sometimes because
maybe i see a little part of me in you a
little or exactly like the point is
we're both mothers and strong-willed
women and we both love our children so
much and i think of you as my daughter
ah i guess the reason i wanted to go to
the T so badly is that I'm a little
jealous that tellin gets to have you all
to herself oh please that's so sweet
cutie kabhi mob please don't like the
very weak let's get you home safe
[Music]
authorities the hospital can I bring you
anything else oh no think I'm fine I'm
just waiting for my mother she went to
the restroom a while ago I hope she's
all right isn't that your mother over
there glad I had all of you for the
grand mother's day ever mom doing over
here oh this table is just so much more
alive
[Music]
I wouldn't have it any other way cuz it
makes me
[Music]
something really quick that you can't
answer me and then pretend to be asleep
all right what do you need well I was
just um go fine i guess i won't tell you
about the delicious ham was ham no hand
okay anyway i'm trying to figure out
what to get mom for Mother's Day she
likes a delicious ham I'm serious dad
last year I just got her some stupid
flowers this year I want to give her
something really nice oh you're headed
down a dangerous gift path son what you
really want to do is set the bar low oh
I see what you're saying and then just
get her something a tiny bit nicer every
year no you set the bar low and you
leave it there do what I do with my mom
every year I show up at her place bright
and early with a gift that has my face
on it bill t-shirt a bill coffee mug
billo like a pillow with your face on
and this year she's getting a toasty
bill lankan to go with amazing you can
sleep at night my head rests easy on my
bill oh they're cheaper if you buy two
hey
[Applause]
[Music]
all right mom I'll see you saturday if I
love you oh my mom so looking forward to
mothers day at the Palm Court oh you
mean that T thing you do every year not
just T high tea oh hi t that's the only
way I could get through it this year's
gonna be even better because we're
bringing more for the first time and
Lauren can't wait you're gonna love it
we get dressed up there's flowers and
candle oh great so it's like a more
boring version of church the rite of
passage I know my mother finally thought
of me as a woman when she invited me to
my first high tea Oh Heidi count me in
honey just a girl or you could go with
me I could loan you a dress that purple
one I caught you in I told you I was in
a play take a team Sun Piketty oh great
that you showed up without calling ahead
I just wanted to come by to tell you
that I'd like to spend Mother's Day with
my Billy Boy instead of making you get
me some silly gift what about Johnny
what was the point of getting me a merry
well first of all I'm not Johnny's
mother oh but sometimes he does shout
out oh mama
and second of all he's in st. Louis
visiting his mother why didn't you go
with him oh because I don't like that
woman she has no boundaries and she's so
manipulative can't even imagine how he
puts up with her brutal and it sucks
away a little bit of your soul every day
unless you don't want to spend the whole
day with your mother although I spent
the whole day with you and labor pushing
and pushing and well hey you can stop
now I'm out it'd be fun to get dressed
up and go someplace fancy fancy hey you
know what's fancy high tea at the Palm
Court oh you wanna take me to high tea
no but you know who does Jude really oh
that would be wonderful I have always
dreamed of going to the Palm Court 40
I've heard it so classy oh I'll have to
take my be no Judy the answers a big yes
yes to what what was the question Billy
told me you want to take me to tea for
Mother's Day what well you're already
going what it would it k*ll you to add
one more no but somebody might die look
Louise it's it's already myself Linda
and Lauren my mom and it's just a table
for four Oh Lauren doesn't even want to
go maybe you could take my mom instead
dress in kitchen please just unloading
your mom on me she's gonna ruin
everything Judy it's old ladies drinking
tea and eating tiny sandwiches how do
you ruin that
two very special for me and it's
Lauren's first time and I don't want
your mother ruining it by taking over
the whole thing and making it all about
hook Judy my mom's not gonna take over
Judy I've got the Palm Court on the line
and they said they can give us a bigger
table you called them but it'll have to
be at nine o'clock in the morning which
is great because then all our scouts can
drive out to Joliet and see the house I
drew up do you okay so just put a step
will call you back listen uh Louise this
is something my sister and I have been
doing with our mom for many years it's
it's kind of a Michael's family
tradition tradition I see I wouldn't
want to intrude on your tradition thanks
for understanding oh I understand I'll
be the only woman in the family not
invited again thanks for understanding
[Music]
can somebody get that Maisie oh look at
you look great you to change your hair
you look five years younger thanks mom
huh I change my hair too i threw out my
bangs you must not have noticed because
she does anything i know don't you two
have a chance to catch up last night
yeah it was great was really really
great we talked and talked yeah it was
wonderful I'll stay here next time why
mom you have your own room in my house
here you have to sleep on the couch with
your head and builds a stent so alive in
this house oh I supposed to my house
where you feel dead no honey not dead
just less alive my mom oh hi Helen how
was your night at Linda's still smell
like ass like sleeping in a litter box
so can I get you something to drink well
little early in the day for a martini
how about a screwdriver oh good Louise
is here and she brought that voice have
you been I got married I know
congratulations now don't go making any
Asian jokes because my husband's
Japanese I wasn't going to oh sure you
were everybody does but not all Asians
are terrible drivers although chany is
speaking of drivers where's bill with
that screwdriver okay oh yeah grandma
who's your favorite grandma really who's
your favorite Lauren to merge a very
first mother's day tea with a girl you
must soak pain yeah usually I have a
surprise whatwhat's fry well you know
how you said I can't come to tea with
you because traditions are so important
well I agree so I've decided to start my
own tradition Oh Louise that frame
should have your own tradition exactly
I'm going to spend Mother's Day outlet
shopping with my granddaughter Lauren
sounds great whoa not great Lauren
you're coming to tea with us yeah I
remember you're excited whether she
knows the city how will she be able to
spend this hundred dollar gift card
tradition you've never done it before
well Lawrence never gone to tea with you
before but suddenly that's a tradition
how come you're our tradition is a
tradition in my traditions other
traditions are accepting tradition
don't I get a say in what I want to do
you know if Lauren really wants to go
with my mom you always come with us next
to you know Mother's Day mother you're
spending it with your mother and you are
gonna spend it with your mother and I am
going to spend it with my mother and
we're all gonna have a happy-ass
mother's day I'll just go in there I
know how to talk to her well this is
awkward yeah mom we should probably head
back to my apartment it's not that
awkward if anybody has her keys handy we
should probably get to the hospital why
because I kind of stabbed him
[Music]
the nurse said my mom's gonna be fine
she just needed a couple of stitches I
don't know what happened well as I
understand it you stabbed my mother
behind me and I didn't see her and I
turned with the knife and I stabbed my
mother accident I gotta tell you I'm
impressed I mean we've all thought about
it that you actually oh here she is Oh
Jenna Louise I'm so sorry son i said
something shining at your hand hello I'm
dr. Gibbon oh and this is my son Bill
and it's lovely wife Judy who stabbed me
how are you feeling louise pretty good a
woman have just came out of a coma try
and think we should know doctor I just
changed the dressing twice a day make
sure she takes her pain pills and read
this pamphlet managing rage I don't have
rage I told you it was an accident all
right calm down try to get her to read
that you take it easy on that arm for a
few days okay I don't know how I'm gonna
be able to manage on my own someone's
gonna have to help me cook wash my hair
somebody was gonna be able to put my
tight hey I didn't stop her
[Music]
Lauren I need to get ready for the tea I
am didn't you see the dress I laid out
for you on your bed yeah i sat on I want
to put on my chance I'm going to your
tea can i just wear what I want well
yeah I suppose it's just that I do a lot
for you and I was just hoping you'd give
me this one day after all it is what do
they call it oh yes mother's day crying
I'll go put on a stupid dress or any
dress you want I'll be up in a minute to
pick it out everybody excited about the
Palm Court well as excited as I can be
considering I was up half the night
someone was talking gibberish in their
sleep hum I wasn't asleep i was sitting
on the edge of your bed telling you all
about my hopes to my dream oh well good
luck with those honey you think you're
tired louise's milk in this whole
incident I had to go over and cook her
dinner clean her house if I say no to
anything she points to her all what
awful stabbing oh thanks for dropping me
off Betty i would entertain myself that
I got stabbed Oh Judy I I brought you
some laundry these are my delicates and
they have to be washed by hand I would
do it myself but as you know I know I'll
doing later hey mom happy Mother's Day
what are you doing here I was gonna pick
you up for lunch later oh I thought we
could skip lunch I don't want to get too
full before my tea with the ladies wait
for him so here's what what makes you
think you're coming with us oh I just
thought in polite society that one is
invited to tea after one is fair nice
going in the kitchen now
ten bucks he comes out bleeding hey
buddy step up you are taking that woman
to every annoying horrible place that
she wants to go to until mother's days
over you owe me this I've pulled up
tight what's worse I've had to pull him
down all right and so we're a good time
don't fire just any cheap piece-of-crap
with your face on it
see Lauren is this fun gave all dressed
up and acting like proper ladies grandma
what are you drinking I thought they
only serve tea here it is tea iced tea
Long Island iced tea hey my mother's day
to Judy what's wrong you don't look like
you're having any fun Louise can't
believe I'm actually feeling guilty for
not letting her come today I don't know
how she does it stop letting that woman
upset you so much forget about her she's
not here oh she's here she picks and she
picks and she picked Leigh just can't
take it anymore and you just want a
title fight on her neck hey this place
is fancy on laura's oh I get it we're
pretending mom didn't just have a
meltdown what sweet girl I'm letting
Louise ruin my day I'm gonna put her out
of my mind and have a wonderful Mother's
Day good for you Judy we're up she'll
have what I'm having and i'll have
another oh I'm really starting to have a
good time later could you take our
picture sure are all you girls sisters
thanks everybody say cheese oh crap crap
why are you here my mom wanted to have
tea at the Drake Hotel your mom's here
yeah she's downstairs in the powder room
what are you doing here you were
supposed to be at the Palm Court the
Palm Court at the Drake Hotel you
jackass woman she just won't take no for
an answer I've had it if she thinks she
can show up here and expect us to
welcome her with open on she's gonna be
fine the nurse said that the painkillers
for a knife wound relaxed her so she was
limber for the fall the good thing you
stabbed her first I believe I heard her
again you think it wasn't an accident do
you think I have it out for her really
starting to look that way mom honey I
was right there the stairs were a total
accident that said I didn't see the
stabbing can't comment she drives me so
crazy she pushes and manipulates and
digs her heels and until she gets her
way I know what that's like you saying
nothing are you saying I'm like Nana
well you did push me into coming to this
tea with you part it's Mother's Day ya
know it's going to make you breakfast
like I always do but suddenly that
wasn't good enough I couldn't even wear
what I wanted to wear you guilted me
into doing everything your way I did not
guilt you besides that gave birth to I
think that entitle
hi you're like my mother I married my oh
my god that's not going to happen again
I never want to be the kind of mother
who guilts you into doing stuff with her
okay mom I forget it really yeah i mean
i don't want to be on your bad side seen
you in action dr. you remember my son
Dylan my lovely daughter-in-law Judy who
stabbed me and shoved me down the stairs
didn't read that pamphlet did you can
you and lauren go bring the car around I
was such oh my i'm not sure so this is
how i'm going to die please forgive me i
never meant to hurt you i guess i'm just
starting to realize that i may have a
short fuse with you sometimes because
maybe i see a little part of me in you a
little or exactly like the point is
we're both mothers and strong-willed
women and we both love our children so
much and i think of you as my daughter
ah i guess the reason i wanted to go to
the T so badly is that I'm a little
jealous that tellin gets to have you all
to herself oh please that's so sweet
cutie kabhi mob please don't like the
very weak let's get you home safe
[Music]
authorities the hospital can I bring you
anything else oh no think I'm fine I'm
just waiting for my mother she went to
the restroom a while ago I hope she's
all right isn't that your mother over
there glad I had all of you for the
grand mother's day ever mom doing over
here oh this table is just so much more
alive
[Music]
I wouldn't have it any other way cuz it
makes me
[Music]